Virag's Movie Reviews: The Interview (2014)

Surely this was a not a vital flick, or a great one or anything, but the thing was not as bad as I thought it would be.  And I didn't hate it completely.  Low bars?  Yes, but the doofs that made the movie managed to get over 'em.  Franco's getting more tedious as he goes on, and in this, where there was maybe 50 minutes of okay film and an hour of futility, he was the wrong person for the role.  It often looked like a better actor could have done something better than Franco managed.  Rogen's always a weak link--in fact, this whole thing unspooled like a Kevin Smith movie: unrealized potential cuz the dummies made the film and missed so much of the potential good stuff.

THE Christian Twitter You Need

He doesn't do the blog anymore, but the General is on the job twitting tweeting.  That's somethin'.

Trashing Cheap Mountain Bikes Is An American Tradition

Truly making America great again.  Not exactly a novel concept, but it is pretty fucking fun--and dangerous--to take those shit bikes out on the trail and ride 'em like you ride your own bike.  No matter what, you're in danger, and no matter what, the thing is gonna break sooner or later--but not too much later. 

Brexit, Yet Another Thing Killing Trump

Trump's killing Trump.  The teabaggers and other racists and nativist cocksuckers are killing Trump.  The GOP establishment weasels are killing Trump.  But Brexit is killing him too. Killing him bad.  Brexit has brought out the asswipes in Texas and elsewhere agitating for secession, while the (relatively) sane Americans out there in the hinterland watch Britain dissolve and see that Trump is the same shit right here at home.  Fucking brilliant.  I don't think David Cameron is staying on Trump's Christmas card list.

Lochte And The 4 IM

Whoops.  The 4 IM is not a fun race, and if Lochte was really hurt during the finals, he didn't really have much of a chance.  Sucks for an Olympic champion to go out like that, especially in that race.  Even if it was a goof like Lochte.

George Will: Yuge Weasel And Consumate GOP Coward

George Will is a pussy's pussy, and he's yet another victim of the Trump revolution.  The bagger shitheads hate him more than ever now.  The GOP is dying.  And we have Trump to thank for the glorious wonder we are seeing.

Virag's Movie Reviews: Terminator Genisys (2015)

Not the worst flick ever, but still wicked shitty--and suffering from a low-bar type situation--Terminator: Genisys was in the end a completely pointless exercise.  Schwarzenegger was not the weakest link here because they had the Khaleesi on board to make all the other actors, even Jason Clarke, seem to be watchable, fulfilling the same role as on that dumb tee vee show.  Otherwise, nobody much cared, Arnold got old, and they didn't sell enough tickets to this confused and annoying mess of a film to make any more of 'em.  That's something.

All Ways

Even Politico Figured Out That Bernie Sanders Would Be The Best VP For Hillary To Run Up The Score Against Trump

And Politico is a fucking clown school.  They figured this shit out though.  When Hillary picks some greasy right-wing shitstain like Tim Kaine, maybe a few more of the rock-ribbed Democratic dipshits out there will figure out that Clinton is a fucking worthless reactionary sack of shit herself.

Brexit And Be Gone

The establishment was and is certainly against this shakeup, or any shakeup, of their interests, so why the fuck should the entire world not be happy to see those Limey fuckwads give up on Europe and destroy their ruling Conservative Party government at the same time?  Sometimes a little obliteration does a nation some good, as Trump is spending every day proving in our exceptional America.

Regardless, the referendum is not binding, and I would expect the establishment on both sides of the Atlantic to manage to undo the Brexit victory in order to do the gods' work of maintaining the sanctity of business interests in Europe and the U.S.  The worst of Britain's right-wing cocksuckers like Nigel Farage have been leading the campaign to leave with their typical nativist and racist horseshit, but in the short term Cameron's government has been destroyed, and this political implosion should give Labor a chance to do something useful should they so choose.  I doubt the Brexit will happen, but in the short term, the Tories have been gelded by their teabaggers and Trump fans.  Nice going.  Cameron's political defeat is a win for Britain, Europe, and the rest of us.

Cold Ish

Trump's Just Getting Started With The Entertainment

Campaign's over, and now the fun begins.  Trump's gonna burn the whole shit show down around him, but first we will should get--we deserve, we demand--some fun fucking fetti for our trouble.  Lewandowski was a fucking goof, but as Trump's campaign dissolves and we get to see the icky gross shit on the inside, we will be the happiest fucking people who ever fucking lived.

And The Lexx Episode 'Brigadoom' Was Insane

Lexx never took itself too too seriously, but that "Brigadoom" episode was exceptionally well-done.  The singing was okay, but the performances were excellent.  I can't understand how the show got made in general, or how they managed this episode in particular.

How In The Hell Did 'Lexx' Ever Get Made?

It was 20 freaking years ago almost, but that show was so fucking weird and tacky that it is a mystery beyond even that of Donald Trump how the fuck that thing got made.  Was it really that cheap to produce?  Were the Canadians and the Krauts that hard up for entertainment?  In the USA that show was on with Farscape and that might have been the high point of American basic cable until the Trump candidacy. 

Shutdown

Peoples Is Weird

This story, the story of the movie and the bizarre shit show that grew up around it, has been kicking around for a while, and it is oddly compelling and sadly realistic.  People are weird, and people who are into shit that doesn't appeal to you are the weirdest of the weird.  But we need a whole bunch more courage to simply let other folks have their fun and their fetishes and not worry so much about it.  The dudes who got tickled or whatever and then got shamed for it didn't really do anything wrong, and nobody should really give a flying fuck.  Unfortunately, our priggish society gives some people, mostly evil and/or repressed people, way too much power to intimidate others over the most inconsequential things.  If we stopped worrying so much about whatever silly things get other people wet and sticky, we would have a shitload more fun ourselves and our society would be a much more pleasant place to hang out it in.

America's Failure On Guns Is The Democratic Party's Failure

So much of the guntard and NRA villainy started to really get rocking in the late 60s and early 70s when a few of the unhinged, insane and insanely wealthy conservatives started their project to destroy society with dangerously wrong-headed conservative principles promulgated by the newly-formed "think" tanks like the Heritage Foundation and Heartland Institute.  The Olin and Coors and Mellon and DuPont and Koch families and their comrades decided that the debasement of civilization was worthwhile if it profited their own families in the short term, and the NRA inanity was part of the plan--the part that appealed overwhelmingly to that special sort of white, ignorant, powerless, and racist underclass who would be among the most damaged by the rest the conservative agenda. 

The Democratic Party, rock-ribbed establishment conservatives they have always been, failed to do the politically expedient thing and oppose the entire radical conservative agenda from the start, and because of that, failed to oppose the rise of gruesome gun fucktardery. 

We suffer with the fools who cannot comprehend basic sentences in the U.S. Constitution mostly because there has been no long-stand opposition to the guns and violence in the country from any of the establishment leadership class.  Without a true center-left party to stand in opposition to the hard-right Republicans, the gun fetishist were allowed to soil our society with their perversions and bloodlust.  Destroying the terrorist NRA will take many years now, but the work will not even begin until one of our political parties decides to make it a priority.  Obama has shown that he was never strong enough to start that work.  Is Hillary?

U Guys

Star Trek: TNG 'The Measure Of A Man' Is So Frakking Good

Great episode.  Too bad they couldn't have done that one as a movie instead of all the shitty Star Trek  movies ever.  The amazing thing about the episode was that Whoopi Goldberg didn't completely fucking ruin it with Guinan the way the actress or the character did ever single other time she was on the show.  For once, and only once, the bit sorta worked.  It was completely unnecessary--and diminished Picard--but it was still okay.  Excellent all around, with that stink of the original show in the blatantly obvious and obviously 20th century American problems that was just perfectly executed.  Almost certainly the best 40-somthing minutes of ST:TNG.

Only In Exceptional America

Where mass shootings are normal life, would any people stand for such atrocity.  The shootings, the violence, the insanity, the murderous police, the banality are uniquely American, and we all suffer for it.  Americans are mostly cowards, and most Americans are too scared to face the terrorists in the NRA and destroy them once and for all, so innocents and madmen will need to continue to die for no reason other than the terror army of the National Rifle Association.

Fay Vor Ite

Never Trump Is My New Favorite Thing Today

So risibly ineffectual.  These assholes are the best thing we got going in America right now, and they're my favorite thing right now.  Trump is a comically inept buffoon and stooge of his own cretinous ego, but somehow his enemies manage to be even bigger losers.  Thank the gods for this little bit of happiness as our civilization goes to shit.

In America, Only Our Shootings Are Exceptional

We get levels of slaugher only seen during wartime in any other land! We are exceptional American patriots!  Only sick fucks would live like this, but that's us.  This is our destiny.  To be destroyed by the terrorists in the NRA.  Fuck yeah.

Never Trump & Not Hillary

The most important question is how to get no Trump without supporting Hillary.  Not for 2016, that decision was made long ago, and you fucks are stuck with Hillary, so the question becomes important next year and the year after that.  The Dems are always gonna puke up the worst candidates possible, so the work required is improving the Dems and their candidates or replacing the Dems.  The magic here today is that Trump is doing that work.  When the GOP implodes, that will leave a huge hole in American politics.  We are surely stuck with a two-party system, but the two parties will be radically different without the Republicans.  Is that the chance for positive change?  Yes.  Let the establishment Republicans slither to their rightful home in the solidly conservative Democratic Party, and let those Democrats party be the power while the new party forms not to the right of the Dems amongst the teabaggers and religious lunatics and libertarian shitbirds but instead to the left of the Dems with solidly center-left pragmatic politicians like Sanders, Warren, and Brown leading the way.  America would be immensely better off with a center-left major party to balance the right-wing Dems, plus the new center-left party would give a place for politicians farther to the left to seek alliances.  Now get cracking.

Now We Know One Thing That Will Get You Banned By USA Swimming

Check.  Yet another black mark on Stanford, but USA Swimming pretty much had no choice in the matter.  Turner could have kept showing up to meets for years, and that would not have been a good thing for the sport.  Not the proper punishment, but you take what you can get in exceptional America.

What If They Really Try To Deny Trump

Do we truly deserve such a spectacle?  Are we worthy?  Could we survive that tsunami of funfetti?  I don't think so, but jesus frakking christ on a crutch, what a delight it would be if somehow the buffoons in the GOP try and deny Trump.  Trump's supporters would rise in all their illiterate glory and feast on the guts of the Grand Old Party.  Please make that happen.  I've been good.  I deserve a nice treat.

Schools And Schools Full Of Upper-Class Twits

Some people don't get it, atmo.  All the boarding schools, super-snobby elitist's elite and wannabes and not-so-much, all compete for an astoundingly small cohort of American citizens whose families can pay full boat.  That's the main reason that despite all the bullshit you hear from AOs and mission statements, every single one of those institutions is at heart so very conservative: you can alienate or offend the 20 people out there who are willing to pay.  Emma Willard is boasting of attracting more of those exceptional American 1%ers--and their peers would say they're doing something right.  Beyond the top tier of boarding schools, you find more and more foreign kids there just because they can pay.  That's racing. 

And Ted Rall

Even if most Dems, not-Republicans, anti-Trumpers, whoever, will vote for Hillary, that doesn't mean everyone will, and for those good people, we have Ted Rall.  The only antidote to another fucking sickening Clinton in the White House is honest talk about Clinton, the other Clinton, Obama, and the state of the nation in general.  We ain't gettin' that from too many places these days--and won't for a long while yet, but we have to keep up the pressure.  In the end, Clinton is going to be another of the never-ending bad things to happen to the USA in the last 50 years.  The only way to ameliorate that shit is with some honest evaluation and work at the political left of center.

Faster Than The Speed

Billmon Rocking

Gets it, atmo.  And is not going to stop.  The Hillary people are the fucking worst scum in the history of humanity, this year.

I Hope Bernie Sanders Gets The Chance To Geld Al Giordano

What a fucking fatuous cocksucker that Giordano is.  The guy doesn't actually vote anyway, but he's an unctuous Hillary fluffer as well as first class shitbag.  I hope to jesus fucking christ who loves us so fucking much that Giordano is insane enough to attempt to run against Sanders just so Sanders can give him the sort of beatdown usually seen in low-budget prison flicks.  Giordano and his ilk are the second worst thing about Hillary Clinton.  Clinton is the first.

So, Dannel Malloy Probably Won't Be In The Running For Hillary's VP

Oops.  Just put Sanders in there, keep him occupied and use the combination to destroy Trump.  Anyone Hillary or her people really get psyched for is going to fucking suck anyway, so fuck Malloy and the rest of the clown car and do the thing that will have the best chance of running up the score against Trump.

Virag's Movie Reviews: The Hateful Eight (2015)

Overthinking Tarantino never does any good, but the guy loves film and it shows.  This flick is a smooth mix of homage and over-the-top comedy, lovingly assembled on 70mm film.  A single room filled with awful people played by fine actors is just part of the joke, featuring Kurt Russell as John Wayne and Michael Madsen as Nick Nolte.  Tarantino knows what he's doing here, and anyone who takes it too seriously is doing it wrong.  For the rest of us, it's just a fun monster flick where the people are the monsters.

Just Pick Sanders For Veep And Destroy Trump

Sanders is never gonna run for president again.  He's way too fucking old.  Vermont has a Dem governor.  Vice Presidents don't do shit, but at least Sanders can spend the next five months deboning Trump as well as making sure most of his voters remember to show up in November and vote Dem.

Sanders is not the best choice, but he makes more sense than Warren, Brown, Booker--fuck no, that guy's a giant douche!--Warner or Kaine--also huge, right-wing assholes along with Booker.  Any state with a Republican governor is just going to cause headaches Clinton will not need early on.  Yes, a governor makes sense, but fuck it.  Go with the unity ticket and move on.

Your Perfect

All American Anthem

John Cole Is An Idiot

In case you were wondering why the douchebags in the Democratic Party will always be hapless, reactionary losers at heart, we give you everybody's somebody's favorite little twerp--and former rock-ribbed Republican and Bush/Cheney supporter--John Cole. 

Sanders, in every way a better candidate and better person than Clinton, did so much to bring a little life to the primary this year even though the candidate was decided the minute the polls closed on election day in 2012.  Sanders, a boring, centrist Democratic in deed if not word, was never given a chance or the coverage or the support of the party because Clinton was the once and future nominee since 2012, but he would have made a better president and would have had an easier time dismantling Trump--or any Republican.

What that means is that the Dems need Sanders more than Sanders needs the Dems right now.  Some Dems, even center-right establishment guys like Howard Dean understand that.  John Cole, though, not a chance.  Cole is a way too much of small-minded dipshit to understand that the key to the Democratic Party running up the score against Trump AND the rest of the GOP candidates this year is the group of voters who are enthusiastic Sanders people.  Bring them in, lock them into the party this year and destroy Trump and every other Republican running. 

Dems are losers because they suck at politics in general AND because they are most often embarrassingly incompetent versions of the Republicans.  This is the year to change that, but when that movement fails--and it will--it will fail because cockbags like John Cole and his short-sighted, bloody-minded asshole compatriots are not in fact capable of winning anything of value.  They love Hillary.  Hillary is their queen. 

Dean's no fool.  Hillary should have Dean and his people in charge of strategy in all 50 states, bringing in the Bernie voters and demolishing the Republican Party and every Republican candidate.  That's not gonna happen though, because the enthusiastic Dems are Obama fluffers and pissboys like John Cole and not half-way decent politicians like Howard Dean.  Or proper, popular, centrist Democrats like Bernie Sanders.

One Of The Best Things About Ali

Was that the black-hearted racist motherfuckers hated his guts.  Ali brought out the true nature of some nasty exceptional American patriots like Joe Bruno.  Bruno may have been stupid enough to blindly march off to kill some defenceless third-world peasants in Viet Nam, but Ali was a better man, a braver man, than ten thousand Joe Brunos.  If the USA had been filled with more men of character like Muhammad Ali and way fewer men of weak morals and weaker minds like Joe Bruno, the nation and the world would be vastly better places for everyone.  Bruno should feel nothing but shame over his nation's role in Viet Nam.  Ali had the basic decency to not add to the atrocity. 

A-Rod: Exceptional Yankee

Jesus.  The Yankees are relying on A-Rod.  In 2016.  What the actual fuck? 

Easy Peasy Democratic Party Fisking

Enthusiastic Dems are garbage people.  The garbage people with the garbage candidate. 

Muhammad Ali

Ali's refusal to fight in Viet Nam was one of the most significant acts of courage and civil disobedience in modern American history.  Ali was not just some chump.  Ali was a superstar.  And he refused to fight on the side of empire against an ultimately defenceless people in their own land.  That made him a hero.  America needed many more like him at just that moment.  And didn't find them.

Crackpot, Mush-Headed Conservative Nimrods Of The Day, Today

American is an exceptionally stupid place, overflowing with nasty, ignorant fuckwads.

James May's Mission Is To Remind You How Hard Chris Evans And Top Gear Now Suck

So, James May is good on the tee vee, and that's what made Top Gear good tee vee.  When you have shitheads like Chris Evans on your show, you show sucks huge moose cock.  Easy.

Hillary Impressed All The Wrong People With Her Anti-Trump Speech

Everybody loves kicking Trump, but Hillary forgot to hide her loathsome, rock-ribbed reactionary self during her speech.  While the soft-headed MSNBC crew may have had boners, the rest of the world was pretty sickened to see that the next US President is going to be yet another murderous, imperialist shithead.  Unless and until the USA manages to replace its war-mongering establishment, the defenceless poor people around the world will continue to be slaughtered or otherwise violently exploited at our exceptional American convenience.

Pet Soundz

Bad Old Mr. Trump Has Not Been Nice Enough To The Dead Intern Guy Joe Scarborough

And Scarborough is butt hurt.  Poor whiny baby.  Scarborough was one of the tee vee assholes most enthusiastically slurping from Trump's piss bucket, but when Trump got some better supporters with fewer dead interns in their history, Scarborough was out in the cold.  That hasn't been easy for the dead intern fella to handle.  Heh, indeedy.

Paul Ryan, The Incredible Shrinking Fool, Coming Soon In Ant-Man Two And A Half

Poor lil Paulie had to chow down on a yuge shit sandwich.  And smile!  When Romney picked Ryan as his running mate, so many more people had the opportunity to notice that Ryan was an unbelievably shallow and clueless politician, but those people did not include the proper number of Republicans, apparently.  Those fatuous GOP dipshits picked Ryan to midwife their final descent into irrelevancy, and now Ryan has delivered the ultimate insult to the establishment when he dutifully performed his required oath of fealty and slobbered all over Trump's crusty nutsack in public.  Trump is their king.  Ryan is Trump's pissboy now.

Kicking Netanyahu When He's Down

Is fun.  And necessary, but when someone like Uri Avnery gets going it's always gonna be fun, too.  Joyously kicking bad people is vital; without the joy, the kicking will not be vicious enough right at the time when the kicking needs to be as enthusiastic as humanly possible.

New Top Gear Is Pretty Terrible

Just like you knew it'd be.  Clearly Auntie Beeb thought that Top Gear was winding down, so they were somehow convinced it was an okay idea to destroy the franchise with the astoundingly unwatchable new hosts butchering the familiar formula.  The only thing the new version proves is that the format is definitely not plug and play.  If by some miracle the four idiots who bailed who were forced out manage to put together something even halfway decent, they will make the fucking BBC look like utter cockbags, which is most important part--after the yuge packets of cash--I would imagine.  Yes, Top Gear was a sometimes nasty and sometimes cheesy sitcom, but they made it work, something that cannot be said about this 2016 version.

The Washington Post Is Shit

But I'm sure you already knew that.  The Post is certainly a company newsletter, but never ever forget what scum run that company in DC.  Sanders has been more successful in upsetting the establishment than most anyone would have believed, but that makes him the enemy of that status quo which delivers the checks every week to the bastards who keep that establishment in place. 

Quick N Easy MSNBC Fisking

When did MSNBC not suck hard?  But now they're trying harder than ever to suck AND blow, so look for more cheap abuse heaped on the pathetic MSNBC till everybody gets too bored.  I mean, any tee vee outlet that puts on waxy ventriloquist's dummy Hugh Hewitt deserves all the opprobrium. 

Nothing Says Exceptionally American Like Another School Shooting

UCLA this time, cuz freedumb.  If only there had been more exceptional American patriots with guns on campus today we could have a real American shooting with dozens killed or wounded.  That's how real men woulda done it!  Trump will make sure all our shootings are fucking monumental.