Every Day In America Is A Little Shittier Than The Day Before

For you, maybe some days are good days, okay days, and some days suck major ass, but in reality, every day in America is a little sadder, a little stupider, than yesterday.  It's just that tiny bit worse every second and nothing will ever really be better, no matter how much you try to make yourself hope for something better.  This is a country, a society, that is not dying, but rotting, decomposing.  America has been dead a long time but only now are some people seeing the worms everywhere.  Days like today are expecially good ones for even the dimwits to be noticing the fetid corruption all around them.

Georgia Is An Exceptional State Where People Respect The Flag

Yet another miscarriage of southern justice, victimizing whites because blacks are the real racists.  It happens all the time, but now Trump will put a stop to this atrocity.  Finally someone in America will stand up proudly for the white man and his white woman.  Then these exceptional and brave white christian patriots who respect the proper flag can get out of prison and get back to threatening darkie school children.

I am the Republican Man of the Year.

The Republicans Will Never Impeach Trump

And not simply because Trump now owns the brand.  Trump will very likely leave on his own because of his own embarrassing befuddlement and overwhelming boredom with the limits of his routine, but he will never be driven from the office by the likes of pygmies such as Ryan or McConnell. 

Jesus, Freeway Blogger Is Still Around

That's some serious nostalgia right there.  When you think Freeway Blogger, you think George W. "Retardboy" Bush and all that sick disgusting shit, but somehow 2017 is just as relevant.  That's not a good thing.  7000+ signs, tho.  That's impressive.  And clever.  Nice job.

Disc Brakes In Pro Cycling Is Gettin' Fun, Atmo

Money!  On the one hand, and pro riders on the other.  I can't see the pro riders having enough stick to win on this one, but it will be fun to watch as the industry tries to wiggle its way out from under the image of being complete fucking money-grubbing imperious dick bags.  Who finance the sport and pay the salaries.  And sell bikes to assholes in North America and Europe and Japan.

Session Men

David Macaray Needs A Hobby

Jesus.  The world is kicking up material by the metric ton hourly these days and Macaray is worried about some threadbare space alien shtick?  I'm not sure I get it. 

Joycean Frank Delaney

A passing worth noting.  Also note that his wife's home was listed as Litchfield County and his was listed as Kent.  Now that's some marketing at work there in the old Gray Lady.  Heh indeedy.

Hard To Believe This Worthless Racist Fuckstain Is Still Around

Sad.  As a whole, America isn't smart enough to wipe it's own ass.  Obviously.

Mine Field

Elizabeth Warren Continues To Scare The Shit Out Of The Republicans

Turning the GOP and their fuckhead propagandists into blithering clowns, much as Sanders did during the 2016 campaign.  Fortunately for the Republicans, the exceptionally incompetent Dem establishment from 2016 is firmly in control in 2017!

There's Money In Disc Road Bikes, Whether They Are Good For Racing Or Not

It doesn't take a genius to see where this is originating.  Even the gossip kids can see that the big bike brands want to sell road bikes with discs, but nobody needs a road bike with discs.  Unfortunately for the guys riding in the professional peloton, a few large bike companies now control the racing, so they will get the bikes with the disc brakes in order to help sell similar bikes to you fucking clowns.  Thanks, Trump.

Church Music

Bomb Enough For Mable

Brutal And Necessary Tom Brokaw Fisking

Video edition, as signal-boosted by Greenwald.  Jesus that's fucking really pretty, though.  Brokaw has always been a repugnant jock-sniffer and pissboy, so it is loverly to watch him get dismantled so vivaciously by Jimmy Dore. 

Tom Perez: Obama's Final Atrocity

Obama, the man who is responsible for destroying two questionable American institutions in the presidency and the Democratic Party, now commits his final act of neoliberal destruction with the installation of Tom Perez as DNC chair.  Obama put Perez in the race after the entire Democratic Party had lined up behind Ellison because Ellison was not beholden to the same nakedly corrupt and grossly incompetent Obama/Clinton infrastructure which had decimated the party and put Trump in the presidency, nor was Ellison slavishly beholden to the corrupt party establishment including human garbage fires like Haim Saban.  At long last enough marginally rational Dems should be able to see that their party is nothing but right-wing trash and get the fuck out while the getting is good in sufficient numbers to make a political difference.  Obama delivered Trump to the White House and destroyed the Dems in Congress and in nearly every state.  Since Obama's election in 2008 the Dems have lost essentially every contest and social and economic progress has been non-existent.  Obama sought only personal glory at the expense of working for any of that actual progress whatsover, and now he's finally delivered the death blow to his party.  That's exceptional work for the very first non-whiteguy president.  Thanks, Obama.

Time Enough For Bombs

If You Are Looking For A Good College, This Is A Better List Than Most

Any college where zionist scum feel uncomfortable is certainly a pretty good college!  Seeing as American is entering a new time of opposing fascism and apartheid and all that shit, well, go to a fucking college that is enthusiastic about working for BDS against the world's premier racist apartheid fascist state: Israel.

Alan Dershowitz Is One Of The Greatest Pieces Of Shit In The World Today

The Dems are so much better off without scum like him.  Earth would be so much better off without scum like him.  If there were no other compelling reasons to make Keith Ellison the DNC chair, then this would still be the best reason ever.  

Another Seed In A Gods-Damned Fucking "Seedless" Clementine

This is bigger than borders and ICE.  We can't just deport these felonious fruits.  Those orange-colored motherfuckers are mocking America.  It's time to declare war on Morocco.  They're fucking Musilims, they lie and send us illegal fucking fruit, and it's time to take those bastards and their gay little oranges down a peg or two.  Or at least their children.  We can bomb their elementary schools and children's hospitals with drones before we send in our heroes to canoe any kids who survived the bombings.  Seedless is not a fucking suggestion, you gods-damned terrorists!

Conservative Free Speech Is Not Free

But some of these dumb bunnies should form their own down-market Serotta Forum.  Jesus.  Here's a pro-tip: when some far-right extremist group pretends to defend everyone's right to expression, they are liars.  True defenders of free speech won't focus on defending the well-funded thugs and bullies over the powerless every fucking time.  Eventually, anyone interested in free expression will acknowledge that insane right-wind demagogues do not make important, valid points on race or economics or science and should not be given equal time in an educational environment where scholarship and proof reign.  Individual rights and free expression are paramount, but the funders of the Heritage Foundation and the NRA and the rest of the right-wing disinformation machine are not interested in anyone's rights to free expression, so fuck them in the eye holes.

A Brave Hero Fighting Killer Terrorists Looks Exactly Like Ian Grillot And Looks Nothing At All Like Any SEAL Team

This guy's no Archer though--gotta be sure when you're counting!  Still, this fucking Grillot hero had the right idea in taking out the racist Republican terrorist murderer without endangering anyone else.  And this superman somehow protected the homeland without murdering any children in a war-torn, third-world hellhole or even committing mass-slaughter at a peasant's wedding.  Good job, dude.

Busload Of Kiss

Inexcusably Mild Fisking Of Joe "Dead Intern" Scarborough's Rock And Or Roll

That's some bullshit right there.  Scarborough's not just some embarrassing loser poking his limp dick at Mika Brzezinski a couple of times a month.  No, Joe Scarborough is a loathsome teabagging Republican cocksucker who also has a dead intern problem.  That fucker is piece of shit.  The lowest of the low.  Fisk that motherfucker bloody.  Fisk him to death right there in public till he cries for his mommy in a puddle of his own reeking piss.

Yer Olde Uncle's Graveyard

Excellent Longer Read On The Real Campus Free Speech Battle Being Waged By The Right Wing Petty Fascist Ass-Clown Goon Squad

Gossip kids guest star Peter Moskowitz.  As usual, the true enemies of expression and free speech--and facts--are never in any meaningful way the "liberals" or the leftists anywhere, anytime in history but instead are always the right-wing conservatives.  It's not just the truth about Palestine and Israel, elementary scientific principles, and basic economics that are the enemies of rabidly ignorant reactionary conservatives, but just about anything of any import regarding personal freedom, politics, inclusion, and progress are viciously attacked by the fucktards in order to prevent education and impede progress at any level.  Moskowitz does a great job unpacking one facet of this atrocity.  Well worth the time.

But Sean Hannity Is Still Alive, So That's Another Sure Sign In The Constant 50,000 Year String Of Sure Signs That There Are No Gods

It's hard to find much good to say about Colmes if you didn't know him personally.  He was a sniveler.  He was an unctuous center-right Dem.  He was an incompetent media personality.  I'm sure he was very nice and beloved by the children and pets in his life, but Alan Colmes was a "Democrat" and a stooge so pathetic than even Sean Hannity could best him.

Solution: Make Everything White Again For Ever And Ever Amen

Topical

If Duke And Syracuse Both Can't Lose

Syracuse does the gods' work and is the most popular college basketball team in America today.

Public Transport

Eee Pea Oh

Something changed.  No shit.  LeMond and Hampsten know something about that, too.  EPO was the shit, and it changed the way those riders raced.  It killed some, too, but that's racing, atmo.

Exceptionally Deranged American Of The Day, Today

In any sane universe, this would be an obvious parody account, but when you are a hop head and at the same time you are proudly anti-chemtrails, -HAARP, -Illuminati, -corruption, AND -vaccines, well, then you are just the perfect fucking Trump American.  Yee hah!

Dishin The Life

Hamilton Nolan's A-Game Is Good

He's often on the right track and occupies an interesting space as the most properly intellectual of the gossip kids.  He does a perfectly good job fisking the laughably obsequious, piss-slurping Jeff Sommer, and even some of the comments gear up to effective push-back against bland neoliberal cocksuckers, showing that Nolan is onto something.

Everyone Needs A Hobby

The Stream, Your Demented Superstitious Christian Primitives Of The Day, Today

Stupid fuckers.  These are exactly the sort of gods-bothering lunatics and racist shitheads who are killing American democracy with their noxious inanity.  They might be funny in a greased-pig way, but they are nasty and dangerous idiots.

Peeling Girl

The CIA Will Never Rescue American Democracy

And only the fatuous neoliberal Dems would ever be pathetic enough to believe it could.  The CIA will always be working for the worst possible goals, except for the times they are merely incompetent, when they will be simply wrong.  That's not much to hope for.  Trump is dismantling whatever could be considered (semi)functional about the American government, breaking it up so his asshole friends can make a quick buck.  The CIA doesn't have the tools or the brains to counter that.  David Price is correct that the leaks are good--and good fun--but the CIA is never on the proper side.

Another Fucking Breakdown At The Border

Clementine today with FIVE seeds!  Jesus fucking christ, Trump, do something for once.  Morocco is clearly at war with us!

Political Song for Trump to Sing

Sweden Mourns

Trump's the new king of Sweden, and it's a dark fucking day.  It's not long until the fucking Finnish start rolling in and crushing all the meatballs in a hydraulic press, and the greasy Norwegians come with their herring and start smacking everyone around.  Time for the Danes to blow up that fucking bridge.

Paul Bono Vox Hewson And Mike Dildo Brain Pence Deserve Each Other

They should take each other away for a Calgon on a Jovian moon.  Otherwise, why the fuck do we need these two creeps fucking shit up for us?  Ancient Chinese secret.

The Old Still

Ben Domenech, Noted Plagiarist, Delivers Bugfuck Crazy Horseshit

Fucking genius.  Domenech is the man's man of insane prattle.  Now that conservatives have finally reached critical mass of ignorance and insanity with Trump, any stupid shit makes sense to them.  Where's Chris Hayes when you need him?

Idea Man

When The Dems Don't Vote Make Keith Ellison DNC Chair, Can We Finally Flush That Party Once And For All?

Ellison is a centrist, loyal Democrat, but the Democratic Party is a right-wing, neoliberal shithole, so when the Dems reject Ellison, that should be the (final) sign to anyone on the left or center-left in the USA that the Dems are part of the problem.  I mean, sure, you should have seen it years, decades, longer, before, but in the era of Trump and the destruction of the GOP, the time is now to destroy the Dems, too.  Ellison wants the Democratic Party to succeed, but once the Dems go with the Clintonite cocksucker in his place, he should start finding like-minded politicians who want to actually start winning with policies that at least have a chance to help redeem American society.

Now We Know What It Felt Like To Be A Decent American In 1981 When That Senile Cretin Reagan Became President

The decent, sane Americans in 1981 must have felt revulsion and fear and exhaustion and anger, the same shit we have now with that vulgar fascist Cheeto-colored idiot in the White House.  There are no worthy Americans who can be pleased with this shit show--anyone supporting Trump is the lowest form of vile racist and bugfuck imbecilic shitstain--but at least now the shameful horror of the Reagan administration is made manifest for all of us 2017.  Thanks, Trump.

Blisssssss

So What If You Were So Fucking Stupid That You Didn't Understand That Geometry Is More Important Than Material?

You'd be a fucking twit, that's what.  Jesus frakking christ, don't these buffoons pretend to be bike people?  Don't those overprivileged cocksuckers spend money to get custom frames?  Gods damn, we are up to our asses in Trump voters.

4 Singers, No Waiting

Your Daily Reminder That Al Giordano Is Still One Of The Dimmest Dimwits On The Planet

He's gotta be a certifiable mush-head.  It's usually only mental-defective teabaggers who are as wrong as wrong can be about every fucking thing in the world the way poor old Al is.  Sad!  And his "fans" are seriously creepy little turds, as well as being the poster children for what's wrong with 21st century American.  I guess it's not a surprise that Al's also a vulgar, Trumpian grifter as well, always shaking the can for change and promising to send you his "newsletter".  I won't if Hillary and Peter Daou have "subscriptions"?

Let's Hope Robert Fisk Is Right About Israel

If any evil fuckers in the world deserve a rough time of it, it's Israel.  It would be sort of glorious to see Trump bumble Israel right out of existence.  Come on, Trump, ya incompetent fuck.  Do something good. 

Trump's Pudster Is Out For Labor

Was Puzder's wife gonna come and do her skit from the Oprah Winfrey Comedy Hour live in front of the committee tomorrow or somethin'?  That woulda been fun.  It's not like this Pudster was any bigger of an incompetent evil fuckknob than any of Trump's other nominees. 

Homefront

Leaking Leakers Who Leak Leaks

Might be the only thing to save us from ourselves.  More transparency!  More funfetti!  But this is what you get after Trump destroyed the Republican Party and the Republican Party is the American "government".  The chaos, insanity, and radioactive incompetence have loosed every fucker in the national police agencies to figure now's the time to get in on the laughs--and those nasty fuckers in our exceptional American police/spying infrastructure are to a man more rotten than Trump's people.  Nobody's gonna be trusting anyone now, for good reason.  And after Hillary's fucktardery put the ultimate nail in the Dems, nobody is going to be around to reap the spoils after the blood dries and the heads stop rolling.  Interesting times 'n shit.

My "Seedless" Fucking Clementine Had Four Fucking Seeds In It!

Four!!  Why the fuck didn't ICE deport that fucker back to Morocco before I got it??  Thanks, Trump.

Garbage Abides

Not a huge fan of the VO stuff.  Seemed like a cheapo knockoff Rivendell, but then wasn't really cheap.  The VO frames were never very good, except for those first Johnny Coast frames.  Idk, Grant Rivendell always seemed like a solid dude and straight shooter, even though he never did the RB-Zip frames I personally had a hard-on for when Rivendell started, and the Atlantis is still one of the finest production frame designs in human history.  All the while, Velo Orange felt like they were profiting off the hard work and vision of others and not really contributing anything of value, atmo.  Whatevs.

But Most Conservatives Are Unintelligent--And Slimy Racist Assholes

Southern Illinois seems nice.  Good newspaper.  Smart people there.  Jesus.

Chelsea Manning Is A Legitimate American Hero

She's the hero, not some Seal Team 6 liars or some Blue Lives Matter psychos.  Manning knows what it is like to do the right thing, the brave thing, the honorable thing, in the face of impossible odds.  Every fucking decent person in the world owes her a debt of gratitude.  The US government should never be allowed to forget the shameful treatment Manning endured.  And the people should never allow it to happen to anybody ever again.

Bard College Versus Money

Can't Bard be funded by Steely Dan royalties?  Endowment is king.  Endowment is the reason Middlebury is Middlebury in 2017 and Bennington is not.  It's also the reason Middlebury is maybe gonna be Williams in the next generation, too.  Money is the key, and if Bard has to do fundraising to meet expenses, that's not good.  And yes, there's an arms race in higher education for fancy new facilities and shit, but you have to be smart about it.

Hard Hugh Manatee

Your Child Going From Boarding School To West Point Is Probably The Most Shameful Thing In The Universe

An utter failure on every level.  The school failed, the family failed, but mostly the student failed.  Disgusting.  I cannot imagine how terrible I would feel if my child decided to attend any of the service academies.  I would know that I completely failed as a parent, that the money spent at even at non-top-tier school like Episcopal was totally wasted, and that my child was a truly awful person.  Nasty creeps like those fuckers belong on the Serotta Forum.

A Few Million More Days With Racist Assholes Getting Murdered By Their White Trash Families And This Country Will Start To Smell A Little Nicer

It's a start.  But we have plenty more KKK dickheads and other racist Republican asswipes who need to meet the same wonderful fate as Frank Ancona.  Come on you meth-heads, get to work making America truly great for once!

Bill O'Reilly: The Biggest Cuck Who Ever Cucked

And J.K. Trotter might be the finest living American.  O'Reilly is like the biggest pussy bitch ever, taking money from a woman because he himself has a non-functional penis almost as tiny as Donald Trump's.  Sad.

Of All The Horrible And Embarrassing Things With Which Yale University Has Been Associated, Also Too Geraldo Rivera

Jerry Rivers makes Clarence Thomas, a wide variety of dictators and other monsters, and many rando Yalies seem not so bad.  If Yale had known renaming Calhoun would have gone so well for 'em, they woulda done it years ago!

For The First Time Ever, Bonzo Would Be An Upgrade

20th Century Tufts University Versus 21st Century Idiots

Not that it matters, but back in the 1980s, Tufts absolutely was a safety school for kids at Andover, Choate, or Hotchkiss.  So was BC.  Northwestern.  And UPenn and Cornell were the safety Ivies--unless you wanted full-on engineering, then Cornell was a solid choice if you didn't get into M.I.T. and weren't really cut out for Princeton.  In those engineering cases, your safety school was Carnegie-Mellon--or Lehigh if you were really hurting.  You can see all this if you look at college acceptances of those elite schools back then.  No interwebs, not as many people applying, sure, but anyone in the 21st century saying that Tufts was ever a first choice school is fucking high.  And likely completely fucking ignorant.  Maybe both.  Even the University of Chicago, with its reputation as a hive of weird and intensely intelligent undergrads was a pretty easy admit well into the 90s if you did pretty good at Exeter.

Yay for everyone who is at schools like Duke and Stanford now, but back in 1987 those places were about as respected as the University of Miami.  This is not cutting-edge or anything; back in the 20th century, many people were clueless about college admissions and most schools were far less selective and far less respected.  Even now many/most public high schools are shit for the smart kids when it comes to college and college counseling.  Letting your smartest kid with eyes on engineering apply only to M.I.T., Cornell, RPI, and state flagship would never fucking fly at even St. Marks or Loomis Chaffee in 2017.   

Political Song for Sean Spicer to Sing

Calhoun College, An Ex-Parrot

Yale does the deed.  It's pretty shocking, and I believe it is also in every way wrong.  But John Calhoun was a nasty motherfucker, even by American standards, so anyone would be well rid of him.  The only problem is that Yale lived with that name for too long to change it now.  Grace Hopper could have been honored with a building or a street or something any time before now, and wasn't, with Calhoun remaining part of the actual history of Yale.  Yale as an institution is less today than it was yesterday by attempting to deny its true 20th century history, as that was when Calhoun College was named.  The rest of the society wouldn't miss a nasty bastard like Calhoun at all.

Political Song for The American People to Sing

American Crackdown

Will there really be one moment when escape becomes prudent?  In a country of 320 million, I'm not sure you would really be able to see it.  By the time someone prominent gets arrested or murdered, the crackdown would have to have been working for a long, long fucking time.  This isn't Germany or Spain in the early 20th century, and the USA is a ginormous country in population and area.  If it does go full-on conflagration, with wall-to-wall atrocities and a rolling civil war being fought, February 2017 will later be understood to be way too late for most people to run.

Making Sarah Palin The Ambassador To Canada Would Be Finally Giving Those Damn Canucks Exactly What They Deserve

Did you know those Canuck bastards supply nearly 100% of the world's Canadians anywhere?  Jesus christ, we need to obliterate that menace, and Donald J. Trump is just than man to it!  Those fuckers are no gods-damned good, and Sarah Palin will show them who's in charge.

Consumption

Out Lights

Al Benson, Jr.: Addle-Headed Racist Asshole Of The Day, Today

Sharp fella, that Benson.  Schmaht.  Quite the looker, too.  That guy got alot a big words, like Marxist and leftist, but can't define a single one of 'em.  Exceptional!  At heart, he's just another racist guntard asshole making America a shitty place for any decent folk.

Trumpnational Anthem

Dinny Coady: A Great Irishman For His Time--And Ours

Pauline Murphy, with a wonderful piece on CounterPunch.  Coady was a brave man, fighting against fascism.  When that time comes, who will be as brave in America in 2017?  You? 

'The Federalist' Is Every Bit As Bugfuck Loony, Paranoid, And Shitty As InfoWars Or Fox 'News'

Sure, noted plagiarist Ben Domenech likes to go to the same circle-jerks as Chris Hayes, but his website is just as fucking paranoid, crazy, and rotten as InfoWars or any other conservative outlet.  You can't hide the shitheaded fear and lies of the fucknuts who write that shit and the fatuous inanity of the miserable fuckers who publish it; Domenech is like a less convivial Alex Jones.

Love Calling

Worthwhile Comprehensive Fisking Of Betsy DeVos

Nice.  The loathsome DeVos and her asinine ideas didn't get started when Trump nominated her.  She's been the cash cow for many risible, reactionary fuckknobs over the years, and now the glorious incompetence of the Democratic Party and the Clinton campaign have delivered her into a cabinet post.  Exceptional! 

The Most Important Video On The Intertube Webs

Doge got rolling almost 10 years ago.  Jesus.  And it's kinda annoying when a kid picks up on last year, a mere three years after it blew up, and won't let it go.  Cute dog.  Harmless.

Also, it should be pronounced doh-gee, with a hard g sound, as if a Japanese speaker was slightly mispronouncing the English doggie.

Rest In Power

Trayvon Martin's parents haven't gone away.  Their son was murdered by a worthless racist coward, but they are doing their best to make sure their son's legacy lives on.  If the Dems wanted to win, they should embrace that legacy and stand with all the good people working every day to stop the killing.  That's what a real, dynamic political party would do.  Maybe Trayvon's parents will start their own party so that we don't need the feckless Dems any more.

Speak American

Demo Coma

James Franco Looks Pretty On Point As Tommy Wiseau

Franco is usually not anything special, but this has potential, I think.

Already A Strong Contender For Tweet Of The Year

For the twit of the year, that greasy LGF cocksucker.  I think slamming that pig fucker Charles Johnson might be the thing that redeems America in the eyes of the lord jesus fucking christ.  Fine work, General.  Your nation salutes you.

Ask Demo

More Of The Most Laughably Idiotic Right-Wing Bullshit You Will Hear Today

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Coma Over

Jesus, This New 'Top Gear' Trailer Is Not Better Than 'The Grand Tour'

Fucking christ, this is just dumb.  That idiot Joey guy is fine, really, and a legit car guy, but feeling the need to piss on Clarkson and his friends is fucking useless.  Those three were Top Gear, and now they are not.  So TG will suffer.  Stop trying so hard for a hot take.  Jesus.

History, Perspective, And Dissent In The Age Of Trump

White riot.

Our modern age is certainly broad with knowledge and perspective at times, but Chris Floyd warns of watching out when that knowledge and/or perspective is as deep as a bottle cap.  I'm not sure what Lee Fang meant, but certainly the position of not normalizing fascist shitbags is a strong one.  Fang is often on the proper side of things; Lee Fang should listen to Chris Floyd.

Peter Waldron: Exceptional American Reactionary Shitstain

Exceptional!  So proudly nasty and disgustingly ignorant!  With a resume only a truly vile right-wing fucktard could compile.  Washington Times! Jesus!  Fuck, yeah!

Super Bowl Satanic Rituals Are Nothing New

Everywhere you look, you see Satan himself.  The Dark Lord really gets around, and brightest exceptional Americans can see that Satan is the lord of America.  And those conservative fucktards don't know what satire is.

Help People & Take Credit

Crazy, man.  But simple is usually best.  Politics, or at least campaigning, is little more than branding, and if you are working with a political party working to help people, that's your brand.  Of course, the modern Dems don't really give a fuck about anything beyond maintaining the status quo, so the neoliberal technocrat hell is a feature and not a bug.

This NJ Basketball Story Is A Shining Example Of Exceptional American Greatness Again

Fuck yeah!  What this enterprising coach needs is a bigger house.  Where he can keep more players.  Maybe with a big yard.  And they can work at gardening when they're not doing basketball.  They can probably help the intrepid leader earn some cash money with their gardening.  We just have to help him out and make sure those players don't run away.  It takes a village to win at basketball.  If you see those kids running anywhere but the basketball court, send 'em back to the plantation house.  I am the Republican Man of the Year.

This Is Pretty Fucking Dumb

Especially since every characterization of left vs right protesters is fucking bullshit.  It's a nice fantasy those reactionary fuckstains tell each other, but none of it is true.  The ground is laden with shit and garbage after the anti-choice right-wing loons get done with it.  They don't clean because they don't care.  Plus, there's always the legitimate chance of right-wing violence.  And the violence at a protest is almost always from the right wing.  Left-ish protesters and abortion rights activists don't blow up buildings and murder people the way the right wingers do.  It's always the conservatives who kill innocents and wag their little guns around in public and threaten to escalate to violence.  Never the college kids doing this shit.  Never the folks in the pink knit hats.  But I think we can agree that Joe Bilello is a mental-defective and reactionary shitbird.

Pop Song 88

The Falcons Truly Are America's Team: Total Shit

The Falcons are America.  Helpless fools who can't even beat the really nasty, awful fuckheads and creeps when they have a huge lead, the Hillary Clinton of NFL teams.  Exceptional!

Like America, The Falcons Deserve To Lose

25 unanswered is beyond embarrassing.  The Falcons are fucking worthless.

The Patriots Are Everything Wrong With America

The world is a terrible place, and the Patsies are proof.

So Far The Fucking Patsies Are Doing The Fucking Gods' Work

Nice to watch those miserable Trumpist shitbirds squirm.

Fuckers.

First TD with 2 min left in the third is no way to win a game.

No Good!

Hah.

Somebody Liked Their Husker Du Records

Almost Nothing In The Universe Could Make Any Decent Human Root For Anything Associated With Atlanta

Enter the motherfucking Patriots.  The Patsies make every gods-damned human a Falcons fan.  Now let's get Brady to throw an interception on this possession.  Please jesus.

Cheerleaders Are Disgusting

Get some self respect.  It's not a fucking sport.  I would be just as ashamed of my kid being a cheerleader as I would if they joined the fucking military or police.  Those twits on that forum applauding that garbage are just fucking gross.

Trayvon's Birthday Again

And in exceptional American fashion, we fall a little bit further behind.  Not enough progress in the years since Trayvon Martin was murdered by a psychotic guntard racist coward, and we are not likely to get enough in the next few years, either.

If You Were Wondering What A Snivelling, Bed-Wetting, Racist Pipsqueak Looks Like

Niice hat, dude.  This Grant J. Kidney is clearly not some sort of fatuous, compulsive masturbater and creepy racist douchenozzle.  Not at all.  He's an exceptional American!

Mekons Wear U

Conclusive Evidence The Upper-Class Twits Are Not Very Smart

Their kids are pretty seriously intellectual pack-fill, too. Jesus.  Mediocre offspring of over-privileged dimwits is what is surely not exceptional in America.  These people are morons.  Like the dope who supposedly got accepted at Cornell or some shit in the early 80s but couldn't possibly afford to go.  That sounds like bullshit, as they had financial aid back then, but then again, some people are fucking dickheads.  That dumb fucker doesn't get the top schools these days meet all need, so if you are smart and not rich, Yale is not a problem.  It ain't like it was in '81.

Then there's the poor dumb bastard whose kid was too fucking stupid to get a Merit Scholarship but also too fucking stupid to take a full ride somewhere else and is paying big bucks with dumb grandpa and dumber dad money to go to UT.  Not a good plan.  And UT sucks.  Whoever was going to give her a full ride was a better choice than UT, and if she didn't agree, we know why she didn't get a Merit Scholarship.  Either the grandfather or father should have been bright enough to explain to her that if you wanna be a doctor, all you gotta do is get As and that free is always your top choice.  But we already knew the girl was a nitwit.

And those ignorant rich white trash fucknuts think Baylor is an elite school!  They'd shit themselves if they knew what Princeton was really like.  Or, hell, Exeter would make their heads explode.

What the fuck is the matter with these fucking idiots?  America really is too exceptionally stupid to go on.

Lady's An Gentlemens, Trump!

Creepy Racist Mental-Defective Conservative Shitstains Of The Day, Today

Here.  There's not a single thing on Earth more useless than an ignorant god-bothering reactionary guntard racist.  These people are cancer on the sphincter of society.  Let us pray to jesus who we love so fucking much that he comes and takes all these vile cocksuckers away so we can have a nice planet.

Good People Must Get Revenge For The Bowling Green Massacre

I suggest sending some Russian hookers to piss on Iran.  That would show those heathen bastards that Trump delivers a very personal form of justice.

Trump Missed A Golden Opportunity By Not Bringing The Russian Piss Whores To Perform At The Prayer Breakfast

Those professionals could have showered that gathering with something truly exceptional--and fitting.  Russian prostitutes pissing on each other and anyone else who enjoys that particular particularity right there at that stupid fucking prayer thing would have been the most appropriate behavior ever at any prayer breakfast.  Thanks, Trump. 

Dave

The 10-Meter Platfrom Looks Pretty Freekin' High When You're Up There

Gotta just trot right off that fucker as promptly as you can.  Standing around up there with your dick in your hand looking down is not the formula for glory, atmo.  It sure as shit helps if you've had some diving experience, too.  A bikini top OR bottom would not be my choice, either.