Tempo Of The Times

Serotta Forum Twits V Speedvagen

There's nothing in the world these idiots can't misunderstand.  Not a SV type girl myself--I'd get a Strong or Rock Lobster ten million times before I'd buy a Speedvagen.  I'd even get a five-years-ago Gaulzetti first.  But the the amazing thing about SV/Vanilla/Sacha White is that he and they managed to create such a stupendous marketing success off of a few finegoodokay bikes/frames built by a bike messenger who took a framebuilding class who just happened to be smart enough to raise his prices by a factor of five or so as soon as he got any recognition at all.  That was genius beyond even what Richard Sachs pulled off, atmo.  All those framebuilder and wannabe framebuilder dudes who give up building or need to keep their day jobs as middle school teachers couldn't do what that Sacha White dude did.  That's what's interesting here.  As usual, the twits supply almost exactly as much trenchant insight and analysis you'd expect from a carp. 

Drive-By Fiskings Of Blathering Neoliberal Fuckfaces Like TBogg Should Be America's Spirit Animals

Glory glory ally lula.  TBogg is everything wrong with America in one nasty, bathetic, wrinkled sack.

Geno Auriemma Is A Top-Tier Asshole

He's a showman, even when he is the show.  He's been really good at proving what a miserable bastard he is for decades now, and the college sporting world should be thankful for that shit.  The game may be pretty boring, but Geno is a fucking asshole.  Great signal-boost for his kid, tho, which is the intended secondary effect, I'm sure.

Going Back To Cali

California Versus Trump

Uber alles.  Will California be the end of the Trumpster?  Maybe.  But let's drink in the delicious irony that it is the man Jerry Brown himself who put the Golden State in the position to effectively resist the exceptional American collapse into third world status.  Pretty fucking irony indeed.

Ridden On

Please Kids, Stay Away From The Blow--You Don't Want To End Up Like James Woods

Drugs are bad.  Don't do drugs.  Just say no.  Cocaine is a hell of a drug.  Hell's no fun.  No coke.  Please, kids, being a conservative is so fucking bad and being a strung-out cokehead conservative is even worse.

George Ciccariello-Maher Fucking Rules

The Prof really knows how to push the buttons of the dimwit conservative cocksuckers.  Ciccariello-Maher should be a first-strike weapon used against the right on a regular basis.  He's also probably the best thing at Drexel these days!

39 Years Ago!

Damn.  If you were born in 1978...

It's Time For Mandatory Retroactive Abortions For Conservatives

Make America greater again by aborting stupidity.  Now's the time to drain the swamp of the revanchist racist, reactionary fucktards and raise the IQ around here.  You know you want to.  Abort conservatives and make America greater again.

Neil Gorsuch Is Every Bit As Vile As His Mother

And when the Dems roll over and put him on the SCOTUS, you can put yet another totally superfluous nail in their fucking coffin.  Gorsuch is a mental-defective, reactionary piece of human filth, just like his cunt mother.  If the Dems can't stop that sort of atrocity, what fucking good are they?

Exceptional Military Budget Atrocities

Dave Lindorff does a good job of highlighting all the bullshit in the budget for the US military.  We spend so much on that useless garbage that we pretend we are all out of money for all the other stuff we actually need.  That's not good.  Not good at all.

Bill O'Reilly Is An Exceptional American

So much American exceptionalism with the falafels and loofahs up the bunghole.  Bill O'Reilly is no average American creepster pervert.  He's exceptional. 

TWIT FIGHT!

The fun part is that both sides are so hilariously shallow and soft-headed.  The nasty twits are just sad assholes and the better twits are helpless losers.  Jesus, if that's your America, you are fucked.

Wigout

Is It Time To Consider That Bob Mould Might Be The Greatest American Songwriter?

Sorry, Smokey, but no way.  Bob Mould on the other hand...

Mould has been writing songs for almost 40 years and has produced iconic American music spanning genres from the intensely personal to the blatantly commercial and back again to pop with both noise and restraint the way many shallow Americana writers never could.  Mould has literally changed the sound of music over four decades.  Now might be the time we consider whether he's the greatest American songwriter.

Buzznhowl

Cornell Keeps Coming Up Stupid These Days

Jesus, you would think the doormat of the Ivies would learn to keep its head down.  It was nice when Penn was there for everybody to piss all over, but they spent the money and now those days are gone.  Cornell is the current and forever world-wide leader in the Ivy League basement.  Hell, even Stanford is considered a top school now, up there with HYP.  And UChicago has always been the premier school for those who knew better.  And had no life.  Cornell is just fucking out of it.  Even the gossip kids are kicking 'em around. 

Another Winner If The Dems Cared: $15 Minimum Wage

Indexed.  Embrace Sanders on this shit; steal his popular idea and win.  Or not, because the Dems are not about winning but all about neoliberal dominance.  So they will lose.

Number Six Would Not Approve, Atmo

Who is Number One?  Not WaltWorks.  That's fo sho.  I'm all for weird and goofy shit, but this is really fucking futile.  Of course, it's also twitbait.  But it's dumb; I mean, it doesn't even have any gears! 

You are, Number Six.

Chris Arnade On Point

And much more perceptive than many of his followers, apparently.  Sanders would have won.  Dems hate that, but that doesn't change reality.  Arnade is also on target regarding one aspect of the Trump voter; he's completely missing the point about Trump people being mundane Republican racist assholes who should be burned alive.  But that's fine, as Arnade is doing great work in the same sociopolitical space a Michael Moore and Bernie Sanders, a space Dems have been fucking doing their damnedest to ignore for 60 fucking years.

Lucky Punks

If They Want To Win, Now Is The Time For The Dems To Embrace Sanders And Health Care

A winning issue.  Very simply: "The Medicare eligibility age shall be lowered to zero."  Don't argue details.  Don't discuss them.  Don't call it single payer or Medicare for all.  Just say that they will introduce a single sentence law that lowers the Medicare age to 0.  Stay on the simple message.  Coverage for everyone who wants it.  Pick any doctor.  Everyone is covered.  Pick any doctor.  Everyone is covered.  Make those nasty Republican cocksuckers choke on their miserable failures.  Everyone is covered.

If This Is The Sort Of Assclown MIT Attracts

Time to burn that dump to the ground.  Of course, M.I.T. is a fine school, and that idiot didn't get in.  But still.  Jesus.  Otoh, while the prep school part of CC is awful, the rest of that site is fucking criminally vile in a plethora of ways few human-caused atrocities have ever been.

The Uranus Jokes Write Themselves

Butt the Oceanus project and other similar endeavors are great places to spend our tax money--and way better than police or drones or aircraft carriers.  Regardless of how long Trump lasts in office, the Dems and any GOP shitbirds sober and/or intelligent enough to get it, atmo should be working the refs on this planetary science work to the benefit of everybody.

Days In

No Surprise: Mike Brown Was Murdered By A Racist Coward

Hands up. Don't shoot.  Everyone knew it, but the cops and the other racist assholes didn't want to admit it: Mike Brown was murdered by a fucking pants-wetting coward named Darren Wilson.  Many, too many, Americans have a vested interest in not admitting the truth about Brown's murder, but that doesn't change reality.  It was always obvious, but now a few more Americans will have an excuse to understand that truth.

Righteous Fisking Of Richard Spencer

Richard Spencer: Racist asshole and welfare queen.  Of course he is.  Of course he's sucking on the govmint teat.  How could it be any other way.

'The Medicare Eligibility Age Shall Be Lowered To 0'

"The Medicare eligibility age shall be lowered to 0."

"The Medicare eligibility age shall be lowered to 0."

"The Medicare eligibility age shall be lowered to 0."

"The Medicare eligibility age shall be lowered to 0."

"The Medicare eligibility age shall be lowered to 0."

"The Medicare eligibility age shall be lowered to 0."

"The Medicare eligibility age shall be lowered to 0."

"The Medicare eligibility age shall be lowered to 0."

"The Medicare eligibility age shall be lowered to 0."

"The Medicare eligibility age shall be lowered to 0."

"The Medicare eligibility age shall be lowered to 0."

"The Medicare eligibility age shall be lowered to 0."

Punk Rock Song

The LA Times' Ann Friedman Seems Nice

She's right, too: Chelsea Clinton has never gotten a break.  It's been a tough life for Chelsea.  She had to work her way through college working 3 or 4 jobs at a time while supporting her husband and kids, too.  Rough.  Even after finally finishing college, it wasn't easy to for poor Chelsea to find steady work.  She could have used a break, I guess.  That's all it would have taken.  Somebody to look out for her.  That's not the way world works, though.  Everybody has to make it on their own.  Nobody gives you any special favors.  Chelsea Clinton understands that better than most.  She's earned everything she has.  On her own.  Nobody's help.  An exceptional American bootstraps story.  Chelsea Clinton is a fucking hero.  Ann Friedman is a brave and wise truth-teller.

Donald Trump's The Art Of The Fail

So, now will people start to admit that Trump killed the GOP?  Paul Ryan couldn't get an Obamacare repeal through the house.  Not even close.  Trump's meddling only made it more ludicrous.  So what if wouldn't have gone over in the Senate.  Ryan's House failure is majestic in its enormity, but now it is up to the sad-sack Dems to make Trump eat this shit sandwich till he chokes, and I'm pretty sure they ain't up to it.

Donald Trump And Paul Ryan: America's Biggest Cucks

Some people are quite pleased with Trump and Ryan's comical failure on their Trumpcare vote.  The lesser cucks in the GOP aren't real thrilled, though.  Mr. Ace Negotiator failed quite publicly, and Mr. Ayn Rand's Pissboy showed the world he's way less smart and talented than he pretended.  This is good stuff.  A nice day to be alive.

Looks Like Radiohead's Peak Really Was On 'South Park'

Stupid fuckers oughta know better.  Israel is the worst racist state on Earth right now, even more actively terrible than the exceptional USA, and the bands not supporting the BDS movement are greedy fucking scumbags.  I mean we know the Pixies are a joke oldies band at this point, and Aerosmith has been wretched for damn near half a century, but some folks thought better of Radiohead.  Not me, really, but still.

A Solid Point On Canti Brakes

They're good.  Perfect for bikes that aren't actual mountain bikes.  Discs are kinda dumb for things like road bikes and gravel road bikes and cyclocross racing bikes, most of which are only ridden like road bikes, and bikes that aren't mountain bikes.  Cantis are good.  Thanks, twits.

Gone Boy

Atrios Mans Up And Tells The Truth About Obama

Pretty good step when you do/did collect your check from David Brock.  And the fluffers sure as shit ain't gonna like it.  And while Obama wasn't Trump, Obama sucked wicked bad.  He was a rock-ribbed conservative and loyal servant of the American Empire; every time he had the opportunity to use his authority to advance any of the progressive or left-ish ideals to which he claimed fealty, he adamantly refused. Obama protected the American ruling class and the status quo with every breath he took as President.  He also continued our endless war against the poor and helpless around the world.  Not what we needed.  At all.  Herr Professor Doktor Duncan B. Black steps out and tells some truth.  Finally.  Keep it up, dude.

Demented Right-Wing Morons Are Demented

Maybe that should be deranged.  Or perhaps unhinged.  Whatever.  They're risible reactionary fuckheads, and they are your GOP stalwarts.  Thanks, Trump.

Rick Perry Is A Miserable Stupid Bastard

There's not enough energy left in the universe to properly illuminate just how long and hard Rick Perry sucks giant moose balls.  So the best we can do is notice when he is especially awful.  Fucker.

Oh Noes! The Teabaggers Are Not Happy About The Trumpcare Failure

Pissy pissy pissy little babies.  Glorious to see the GOP and the teabaggers in open conflict over this shit.  Maybe the entertainment value will be worth it.

The NCAA Should Be Dropped Off The Edge Of The World

The NCAA is nothing but fucking fucked up fuckers.  All this bullshit in the interest of tee vee entertainment and piles of cash money to spend on hookers and blow.  There's gotta be a better way.  Start by dragging the NCAA to the edge of the world and pushing it off.  Then pay the players.  See how that works.

Airworthy

Lying About Snowden Has Been An Establishment Feature, Not A Bug

I guess we can discuss whether the reactionary mainstream establishment media was purposely obfuscating the truth about Snowden or whether they were simply hapless incompetents.  Some will say why not both.  Regardless, the false and/or mistaken story of Edward Snowden was the one universally promulgated by the establishment, and, so far, it's been 100% debunked.  Funny, that.

Spectacular James Wolcott Auto-Fisking

Sweet mother of fuckers, Louise Mensch is the first one!  LOUISE MENSCH IS THE FIRST ONE!!  Hot diggity damn, that is fucking outstanding.  Wolcott redefines fatuous for the washed-up Droopy Dog cohort.  Nothing in 2017 gets much better than this shit.  Somewhere a snarky god loves us long time.  We were alive to see this.  We were blessed.

Happening Now

Wait, 'Wheeler Dealers' Was Still On?

And has been on for 13 years!?  What the actual fuck.  Who has that kinda time?  Jesus.  I'm not sure all those 13 years were in the current Edd China format, or was that previous show with the other guy called something different?  Anywho. 

David Crockett: Soft-Headed And Puffy Aspiring Clinton Pissboy--America Would Be Better Off Listening To TV's Sonny Crockett

Ah, the insouciant inanity of feckless youth and privilege.  This Crockett shithead is really making a mistake when he goes after anybody brighter than he is--and that's alota folks.  Matt Bruenig has been an extra-extra large amount of fun kicking this idiot around.  (Bruenig has the huge advantage of being right about this shit, right about the Clintons and the Hillary campaign; right about Sanders being the most popular politician in the United States by a huge margin; right about the destructive nature of neoliberal Clintonism with regards to the Dems and America.  He's also a proven and effective asshole, which is why mutton-heads like David Crockett should stay way the fuck away from incisive thinkers like Bruenig.)  And then Luke Savage steps up to curb the fatuous Crockett while he's bleeding there in the gutter just because it's what America demands--or should.  But there he is, this Crockett shitstain, chugging away doing his best to appeal to the neoliberal Democratic Clinton establishment so that they'll employ his fat ass carrying their steaming rancid piss around in buckets for them when he gets through with law school.  That's exceptional!  But if you're looking for brains--or style--clearly ditch this loser David Crockett and go with a brilliant young go-getter like Sonny Crockett, America!

Luxurious Fisking Of The Repugnant Chelsea Clinton

Wonderful, wonderful.  Matt Bruenig takes a minute to obliterate the disgusting life and career of the Clinton hell spawn Chelsea.  This is exactly the sort of great work all of America should be talking about.  Unfortunately, way too many of the useless Dem shitbirds are still fucking around to destroy any hope of progress.

A Serotta Of Some Worth, Perhaps

That's a bit harsh, of course.  While Serotta's were never my bag, I know that the production Titan was a super-solid bike fully worthy of status as a hand-built American production road-racing style frame.  That Ned dude and his bike meant something to that other dude, so rock on, brother.  As signal-boosted right where you'd expect.

Political Song for Richard Spencer to Sing

Peter Daou Is America's Number One Asshole

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Lynne Stewart As Remembered By Jeff Mackler

Outstanding.  Lynne Stewart was one of the rarest of Americans, willing to stand up for her principles at any cost.  How wonderful for all of us that a brave few like Stewart were willing to teach the rest of us what liberty, freedom, law, and justice were supposed to be.  Unfortunately for Stewart, the system was anything but wise or just or fair, but that was not her fault.  It's all of ours.

Here's A Better Idea: Let's Not Listen To Neoliberal Losers Like Mark Begich

Former!! Senator Mark Begich.  He lost.  He didn't win.  He failed.  So why listen to what he has to say.  Anybody who thinks that right-wing douchebags like Mark Begich point the way to victory has not been paying very close attention to even the last 35 years of American history.  That's some special fucking genius right there.  Jesus.

Rap It Up

Fox "News" Attempts To Clean Up The Greasy Stain Called Andrew Napolitano

They gonna need some bleach to get rid of that greasy shit.  Napolitano didn't suddenly become a squealing lunatic sometime in the last week or two; he's been nucking futz for fucking ever, so Fox "News" is being more than a tiny bit silly now.  Napolitano's no worse than anyone else on Fox "News".  They're all disgusting, lying fuckknobs. 

I Love How This Piece Of Shit Idiot Miki Agrawal Is Nothing More Than Trump In A Stupid Hat

Miki Agrawal, full of shit and making herself great again.  Except that she's a vacuous slimeball and vulgar, incompetent bullshit artist with atrocious taste in hats who is clearly next in line to be the self-deluded, low-rent imbecile president of America or some shit.  I love how the whole gaggle of airheads and dimwits slobbered all over her and now can't understand why she's such a garbage fire.  Thanks, Trump.  The Cornell thing is perfect too, as she was clearly a shamelessly shallow and vapid tool who didn't have the stick for Harvard or Yale.  Perfect.

Baseball, Like America, Clearly Too Stupid To Live

Every step is backwards, makes things just a little shittier than before.  Never never no can we have nice things.  We're too dumb to make anything better, so we just keep fucking with it and fucking it up.  Thanks, Trump.

Wipe The Asswipe All Day And Still Never Wipe Away The Crazy

Apparently not parody.  But, how can it not be? It's a fucking joke.  But maybe just maybe they're serious.  Sad.

Jesus What The Frakking Christ

Fuck.  That's awful.  Hard to believe.  I guess it woulda been okay if those kids were exceptionally proud American patriots and had been killed by some racist white guy with a gun, though.  That's how school kids should die.  If they love America and the 2nd Amendment. 

Freaky Style E

Kvale Bike In Blue

Dura-Ace.  Who knew?

John Elway, All-American Idiot

No shit.  Elway was always a garbage-person, so nothing shitty that he ever does should surprise anyone.  Thanks, Trump.

Joe Manchin Should Not Be Trusted Ever

Manchin is about as committed to a single-payer system as Joe Lieberman ever was.  Manchin is also a resolute piece of filth, so anybody who believes him is an asshole of the highest order.

They're All Ass Burgers

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Louise Mensch And Donna Brazile Deserve Each Other

Both are irredeemable dirtbags and neither is left of anything consequential.  Mensch is no friend to the Democrats or to reason, so she can just fuck right the fuck off and take Brazile with her.

Duke, Wonderful Duke

Wonderful when Duke loses, and they go out like bitches.  All the fake gods love us.  We are blessed.

Burner

Rock Out

Chuck Berry Was 90

Good for him--that's a shit ton of rock and roll.  Berry's legacy is a big one, though, so his sound will be around a long while yet.

Wisconsin, Heh

Wisconsin does something useful, I guess.  Way more important than Scott Walker or any other teabaggers, that's for sure.

Sail On, Paddy

Drink Up, Paddy

Slainte. 

Radio Radio

Atrios Makes The Point That The Fed Protects Only A Select Few

Yes, it should be obvious, given the last 50 years of American history, with wages going down, wealth being transferred upwards to the ultra-rich, and the social welfare system becoming totally focused on that insanely rich cohort, but that doesn't mean it shouldn't be repeated over and over: The Federal Reserve acts against the interest of almost every American citizen.  The Fed protects the wealth and privilege of a very few Americans against the economic interests and well-being of nearly every American.  That's not a formula for prosperity, y'all.

Clueless Pampered Twits Are The Fucking Worst

Even if the lot of them are not evil to a man, the are so fucking vacant and just useless.  The dimwits who have enjoyed the overprivileged life of upper-class and upper middle-class white-boy dilettantes truly have nothing to offer the world.  Jesus.

Trolls Trolling Twits Or Twits Trolling Trolls?

It's all one big happy circle jerk.  And these are exactly the fools you have to deal with if your kids go to Choate or Deerfield or any of the truly elite schools.  Fucking nightmare.

Putting Men In Control Of Abortion Will Make America Greater Than Great Again

Birth is too important to trust to ladies and their parts.  Womens are not men.  They bleed and don't die.  Trump needs babies.  Maybe he eats them.  We don't know.  But we do know that men are better at birth decisions than womans.  Jerry Newcombe knows better than a girl.  Jerry Newcombe knows what jesus wants.  Jesus needs babies too.  But jesus def doesn't eat them tho, cuz he doesn't exist.

Putting The Fathead In Fatuous One Dumb Democrat At A Time

Behold the lovely and talented geniuses who worshipped Hillary and delivered the nation to Trump.  They seem nice.  They're not completely useless losers or anything. Not. At. All.

Timely

Her 2

The Tax Thing Was Dumb, But Maddow Was Doing Her Job Driving The Right Fucking Crazy

Duh.  The tax thing itself was a nothingburger, but the reaction was fucking brilliant.  Trump went nuts.  Fox "News" went nuts.  The teabaggers and Trumptards went nuts.  That's the point.  They were frightened and panicked.  If Maddow is going to be a fabulist on the side of the good (better, maybe) guys, then this is the kinda shit she can actually do, so she'd better fucking do it properly.  Next!

He's Got A New Spell

Peter Sagan Versus The Dog

That could have ended badly.  Nothing like early-season racing!

Now We Know: The Deep State Is Just As Banal And Wretched As The Public State

Deep State is as big a failure as the public government.  No super powers.  No big ideas hidden behind the incompetence of the bureaucracy.  No secret armies ready to take over the government and impose its will.  No clandestine mandate to stop Trump from starting a nuclear war.  No, the Deep State is simply another facet of the military-industrial complex, driving the needs and desires of the exceptional American Empire.  Pro tip: George Mason is a right-wing cesspool.  Nice hat, asshole.

David Letterman: Out And About Crazy Rich Person

And that's good--he never got the credit he deserved during his show because the socially awkward creepy clown stuff often got in front of the smart stuff.  The professional tee vee critic type boobs watching didn't realize how good he was in a business that didn't reward brains or imagination but loved fatuous nobodies like Jay Leno and Jimmy Fallon.  That's fine, just fine, but Letterman will show anyone he asks that he still has his eye on shit. 

Paul Kimmage Checks In--And The Twits Don't Like It

Paul Kimmage, who has been on this beat for fucking ever at this point, was one of the first of the insiders to come clean.  See what I did there?  Oh, but some of the twits are butthurt!  Oh noes!!  At this point, everyone knows everyone is cheating, and it is only when and how you get caught that counts.  Team Sky is guilty of the same thing of which Mr. Cheat-to-Win was guilty, namely being lying cowards.

Dr. Automatic

This Is What Raw, Naked Terror Looks Like

What Elizabeth Warren does to the Republican Party.  The few professional GOP dickbags worth anything know that Warren very well may destroy whatever Trump leaves behind when he's through with their party.  Warren can command attention and has shown she's ready to shine a light on all that shit the Republicans would rather keep hidden.  Sure they hate her, but even better, they fear her.  And terrified people make mistakes.  Warren has the ability to make the Republicans fuck themselves up bigtime.  They can sense it.  Their terror grows.

Reactionary Racist Fuckknobs Suck Ass And They Always Will

Suck major ass.  These hopeless garbage people are the reasons why civilization is so far behind where it should be.  They make life so much shittier for everyone.  They suck.  Ass.

Drive-By Fisking Of Josh Barro Is Pretty Much American Greatness

Nice.  Barro is such a prissy little over-privileged bitch that is always heartening to see someone kick him square in plums.  American greatness doesn't come all at once, but fisking Barro is a damn good fucking start.

When A Gossip Kid Reaches His Limit

I get it. Gossip kids are just kids, even if they're 30 or 50 or 110.  They need to grow.  That's perfectly fine.  While like most kids, they suffer from a lack of experience and imagination, they are also easily upset.  What they probably can't get is that the blue states, without the meth-labs of democracy in the Confederacy holding them back, they will be able to engender some of the actual progress being retarded by the influence of Trump voter-types and other racist reprobate shitbirds.  Were the blue states able to instill the values of freedom, health care, education, equality, and all that good shit on their own, that might pave the way for the red state fucktards to enjoy some of that progress as well down the line.  That's the point.  Of course it's not practical on its face, but should the stronger economies and more intelligent populations within the USA start to act politically in their own interests even a little bit, big changes would be a-comin'.  Isn't that what most sane people want.

Time Tested

Attention Insane Christian Idiots: God Doesn't Care If You Fuck That Guy

Because your stupid god is not real.  If you want to touch some loser's dick, that's perfectly okay with the fictional god--or don't touch that zesty wiener if you don't want to; it's up to you.  If you want to put your pecker into some stupid girl, no made-up gods are ever gonna care.  If you'd rather just yank your crank, then have it sport.  All you assholes really need to do is rub both your neurons together real fast till you get that special feeling and decide for yourselves.  Morons.

The Rebel: Teabagging Canada

Even Canada has abhorrent racist teabagging scum!  Way to go Canada.  Is nice to know that another society has to deal with disgusting right-wing trash people, too.

Dancing Last

Jorn Barger Still Out There

Somewhere.  Not sure he fully gets that Trump is nothing more than a more vulgar mainstream rock-ribbed Republican. 

Counterfeit Bike Helmets: Good Career Move For Any And All Trump Supporters

This will help make America greater again.  I encourage all Trump voters and other supporters, as well as all cabinet and other appointees, to get the fake helmet and ride many, many hours a day on the busiest roads in our exceptional nation.  Thanks, Trump.

This Fucking Horseshit Is Serotta Forum Levels Of Fucktardery

The original poster sounds like a repellent douchenozzle.  It's very nice, if totally shitty, to think the kid you like better is the better kid, but jesus, people are gods-damned assholes.  The upper-class are monsters.  Let's get pest control up in there.

Loathsome Reactionary Racist Scum Of The Day, Today

Creepy Zionist shitheads are the lowest form of slime on Earth, easily as bad as the racists in the American south and South African apartheid true-believers.  Time for humanity to clean house.

Too Bad Iraq And Afghanistan Don't Have Drones And Trillion-Dollar Military Infrastructures

The world would be a very different place if our helpless victims around the world weren't so helpless.  A better place.  Much better.

Order Up!

Hey! Those Aero Racing Wheels Sure Are Light! And Aero!

And dependable!  Or not.  It's a proud day in the peloton when the plastic wheel explodes but the tubular stays in one piece.  Progress!

Here Are Some Conservative Dipshits You Should Keep Far Away From The Children

A hard-right, science-denying, racist "education" "think"-tank is just what America needs about now to be exceptional again.  Exceptionally fucked.  These gods-damned lunatics should not be around kids.  Or pets.  Or rocks.  They're fucking useless.  They're teabaggers.  It's only natural.

Elegant Fisking Of Frank Bruni And The New York Times By A Gossip Kid

Yep.  Hamilton Nolan is all over the fatuous Frank Bruni as the Times collapses in slow-motion for our amusement.  Yes, good papers should be built expressly for shining a light on a president like Trump, but alas the entire media is so debased that nothing useful is likely in our lifetime. 

Nile 'Nevel Papperman' Gardiner Is A Fucking Moonie?

How the fuck did I miss that hilarious factoid?  Jesus, I thought being a low-rent Nevel Papperman was fucking pathetic, but a fucking Moonie?  Gods damn, that is just fucking glorious!  The Heritage Foundation sure is a great place.  Heh, indeedy.

Nice Primer On The Shit Show Obama Created In Puerto Rico

Neoliberal fuckface Barack Obama is not done failing America.  Puerto Rico is a bad situation made a billion times worse by the conservative neoliberal policies of Obama.  Something else.  Again.  As usual, the solutions are clear but nobody in power is smart enough to take the necessary action.  Making Puerto Rico a state today would be the best way to start...

William Jacobson: Racist Right-Wing Scum Of The Day Today And Yet Another Reason Why Cornell Is Not Harvard

Another pig-fucking piece of human garbage, not that such filth is uncommon or anything, but when anybody asks why Cornell can't compete with Harvard, well, here you go.  Harvard Law was dumb enough to admit Jacobson, but not at all foolish enough to employ him.  There you go.  While conservatives cannot ever be right about anything important, even ones with Harvard degrees, it's especially comical to watch dunderheads like Jacobson flail around soiling themselves.  Good work, Cornell.  Harvard learned a small lesson with this asshole.  You didn't.

Daytime

Robert Fisk Delivers Some History Of Palestine

Exactly the sort of thing you hardly ever hear in the United States these days.  Fisk is one of the most experienced experts on this shit, and the exceptional USA needs as the ongoing Israeli apartheid is one of the most sadistic of all the ongoing atrocities we are currently financing.  The Balfour Declaration was the beginning, and with the help of all the gods, we are now living during the end.

Even In The Darkest Times, Shitting All Over Tim Tebow Is Life-Affirming And Good

Tebow, the gods' punishment of America in the form of a human emodiement of raging ass-cancer, has only one function: target practice.  Tebow is like a less-lovable and even dumber Ryan Lochte. 

Sorry Stupid Twits Are Sorry And Stupid Because Sorry And Stupid

Most of the self-selected dimwits in this cohort have no idea how anything works, not just health care in the USA.  And yes, a few of them are Trumptard teabagging assholes, but the rest are just sort of timid victims of their own ignorance and lack of mental acuity.  Those poor stupid bastards are the ones who are suffering now because of the failed leadership in the Democratic Party over the last 70 years.  They're not in the racist Republican camp, but they are helpless and hopeless Americans who should shut the fuck up and demand Medicare For All right fucking now because history and economics proves it works and will cut costs significantly.  But they won't because they've been cowed their entire lives by the ever more rightwing Dems into being timid and soft-headed followers.  Sad!  They would still fit in great on the Serotta Forum, atmo. 

A Bluexit Makes More Sense Than Most Things Dems Want

How unlikely to see something interesting the fucking New Republic?  Anywho, a Bluexit would be a great thing for the blue states, as even if you got neoliberal shitbirds like Cuomo and Clinton and Emanuel doin' the politicin', the results are likely to be way more sustainable that what the fucking Trump nation will be able to maintain without all the welfare money from the smart guys.  Forcing the meth-labs of democracy which all loved Trump so much to make it on their own would be a warp-speed object lesson even some of those toothless, inbred racist fucks could understand.

Fox "News" Is Like A Cash Machine For Chicks

Every fucking broad who ever walked in the door gets a fat check.  That's pretty fucking sweet if you're a chick.  When's someone gonna start payin the dudes at Fox "News"?  Not fair!

Dawn Of Colbert

I guess Cole-bert has Trump to thank for the all the attention.  And now Colbert is a man for his time.  It also probably helps that Jimmy Fallon has been execrable during his entire career, so it's not such a big deal for Colbert to beat the irredeemably awful and unwatchable Fallon.

Rocket And Or Roll

Today Is The First Ever 'International Grab Em By The Pussy Day'!

Exceptional!  Thanks Trump.  Finally an American president man enough to treat those fucking cunt whores the way jesus wants us to treat 'em.  That's making America great again for real!  Rock on, Trump.  As always, I am your Republican Man of the Year.

Jesus Fucking Christ, Free Republic Is Still Around!

Jeez, what the fuck are those sorry bastards up to in their dotage?  Yeah, that's just fucking pathetic.  Free Republic would find more dignity in slurping up its own lukewarm diarrhea through a Chick-fil-A bendy straw.

Speaking Of Useless Twits Sucking Their Own Dicks

They all deserve each other.  Black shorts, though.  Black.  Not littering is fine, too, but a little obvious.  Black shorts, unless you're a chick.

Seriously, those guys are hopeless fucking dipshits.

Too Many Of The Gossip Kids Are Not Very Bright

Not a good sign.  Nolan's okay, though.  He's chugging away, doing his best, and it will all be for nothing.

Charles Murray Is A Vile Racist Who Deserves No Consideration Whatsoever

Anywhere. By anyone.  And there was no mob at Middlebury.  Essentially all those black bloc in the USA are FBI or other law enforcement employees there to undermine protests in general, so it's pretty clear that the government is the likely cause of the violence as usual. 

Ben Carson, Exceptional American

Not simply a bugfuck crazy Uncle Tom, Ben Carson is a true hero to repugnant American stupidity.  Despite his complexion challenges, Ben Carson is the most exceptionally American American who ever Americaed.

Self-Deluded Overprivileged Twits Sucking Their Own Dicks

This rank inanity could be the Serotta Forum.  The upper class are fucking twits, that's for gods-damned sure.  And nobody sucks their own dicks like these fools.  Elite boarding schools are great for the right students, but you have to put up with the majority of the kids there being the spawn of all these clueless overprivileged twatwaffles.  Also don't tell those stupid bastards that Lawrenceville has a huge inferiority complex over the Big-6 prep schools being in New England and taking the Jersey kids' lunch money any time they want.

Revisionist History

In Trump's Panoply Of Useless Shitbirds, Betsy DeVos Might Be The Most Disgusting

And not simply because of the risible Amway connection.  DeVos is a special (in)breed of stupid, uniquely, exceptionally heartland American and rotten to her very marrow.

Shine On

As Cornel West Lost Status With The Establishment, He Grew And Grew

Connor Kilpatrick in Jacobin on Cornel West.  It took a while, but West turned himself into the man he had always believed he was, but it also required the unlikely candidacy of Bernie Sanders to act as the final catalyst which freed West the paucity of hope and from the dishonor of Barack Obama, Inc.  Kilpatrick is on the case; this piece is well worth a first (or second) look.

Charlie Daniels: All The Intellectual Power Of A Small Bag Of Salt-Water Taffy In One Disgusting 400 Pound Package

Exceptional!  The man's got a fucking gift for the English language.  He's what an exceptional public intellectual looks like.  Thanks Trump!

Science!

A Little Scab Labour History Review From Louis Proyect

On point.  The war against workers didn't start with Trump and Obama and it won't end after them, either.  Labour rights are human rights, indeed, but even more importantly, labour rights stimulate the economy, so even the richest pigs and most dishonourable scabs benefit when workers increase their share of the wealth they produce.  Too bad most Americans are too exceptionally ignorant to understand this basic truth.

Always And Forever, Flat-Earthers Are A Special Flavor Of Demented

You have to be so beautifully dull-witted to be a flat-Earth moron.  You need to be something so far beyond ignorant of elementary-school science, and at the same time more deranged than the batshit nuttiest padded-cell barking lunatic, that the horrid screaming inanity transmogrifies into the sublime.  Flat-Earthers don't deserve even of a millisecond of our consideration, but in the age of such violent stupidity, to be a flat-Earther is something that manages to be remarkable.

Four Years Ago, The Onion Explained That Trump Was Nothing But A Vulgar Mainstream Republican

Wherever you go, there you are.  Too bad the Dems didn't listen to The Onion and realize that Trump was just another vile mainstream Republican shithead with a tee vee gameshow host's facile bullshit persona.  Oops.

Green Lite

Decent John Nichols On The Dems' Keith Ellison Debacle

John Nichols chugging away at The Nation.  (When Mother Jones gets dumber, The Nation seems to feel a little more hopeful and then tries a bit harder.  Capitalism!)  Ellison's defeat was another setback for a political party which has face nothing but setbacks for a few generations now.  Of course the Dems are no longer interested in abandoning their neoliberal masters, so worthwhile change will never come from within the Democratic Party, and the very existence of that party will forever be a setback for human progress.

Free 4 Taking

Shocking, I Say: Catholic Institutions Are Evil

Who knew?  Before today, the Catholic church has been so progressive and goodly-hearted.  And never an abusive hell hole in sight!  Now who can we trust with the poor and the helpless?  Thanks the gods for the CIA!  I guess they will fix all this trouble with the sluts and whores.  And Irish people always seemed so advanced.  How could they allow this?  Have a drink, Mick.

Set Your Time Machine To 1985

James Wolcott's A Fucking Mush-Head, Too

It is the perfect old man yells at cloud moment.  Wolcott contends he was cool 40 years ago.  And smart.  So listen up in 2017.  But he's long past his sell-by date, and he's become comically lazy, dull-witted, and incontinent in his dotage.  When you think you're a hip Democrat in the mold of such mind-numbingly inane fuckstains as Al Giordano and you use a term coined on the Hannity tee vee show as Wolcott does, what you're really doing is shouting to the world that you don't know your asshole from a greasy hole in the ground.  The left is the left.  And in the United States in 2017, the left is not the Dems, Hillary Clinton, her supporters, Obama, or James Wolcott.  Those right-wing shitbirds are welcome to their tawdry neoliberal failings, but surely they can just fuck right off as well.  The folks who have been correct all along have work to do and shouldn't be wasting their time mopping up Wolcott's shit.

Your Daily Reminder That Conservatives Are Not Smart

Conservatives are far dumber than simple people of the land.  To a man, conservatives are fucking imbeciles.  They believe the most ludicrous bullshit because they are incapable of rational thought.  You know, morons.

It's Pat's

Drive-By Fiskings Of Imani Gandy Are The Only Things With A Hope Of Making America Great Again

The world's worst lawyer.  Jesus.  People like Gandy are the ass cancer destroying all hope of American progress.

If The Dems Were A Functioning Party, Sessions Would Be Fucked

Sessions is a racist garbage fire, and he's damn lucky the Dems aren't interested in winning elections or any shit like that.  Were Sessions to face an actual opposition, he'd be deader than Breitbart.

America Is Turning Into A Wicked Fun Brown Shirt Jamboree

This is really making America great.  ICE is the lowest form of pond scum police, and they are all wet and sticky to finally be gettin' some love from Herr Trumpenfuhrer; they ain't gonna miss this shit.  Pretty soon we're gonna be gettin' our brown shirts and our armbands so we can all start making this exceptional nation much whiter again.  Fuck yeah!

Stephen Malkmus & Yo La Tengo

Gilda Wabbit Would Be A Better Attorney General Than Jeff Sessions

Gilda Wabbit is clearly more qualified than Sessions in every important way.  Mass transit style is on point.  Not a racist shithead.  America would no longer need to be mortified that such a human garbage fire like Jeff Sessions was Attorney General.  Did not commit perjury.  What more do we need?

This IS The Future Liberals Want--And The Present

Conservatives are so fucking dumb--creepy, nasty, racist, violent, but mostly fucking pigfuck dumb.

Sessions Is Now An Even More Important Test For The Dems--Which They Will Undoubtedly Also Fail

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Dad's Car Is America

Mom Cars Blogging

That's Not Too Fucking Creepy Or Anything

Anyone sane enough to stay seated during that fucking insane moment deserves a medal and stipend.  The people who stood and cheered for that abomination should be taken out and fed to feral dogs.  Jesus.

Team Sky Reality Check

Of course those Limey cocksuckers are doping.  They are all, if they can get away with it.  The sport is just too hard to not use every possible advantage.  Now being honest, that's pretty fucking hard, too.  Don't look for human garbage like Team Sky to lead the way.

Damming Evidence Of Banality

Shitting On Robbie Robertson Is An International Cottage Industry

Even in the 21st century, it might stave off complete financial collapse.  It's hard to take Robertson's side, especially when his solo stuff was so unremarkable that it made his shameless self-aggrandizement more sad than funny, but jesus, the fucking guy didn't know how to keep a single friend, apparently.  That's its own genius right there.

&Gates&

Van Jones And Marcy Wheeler, Two More Exceptional American Ass Clowns

Van Jones was always a small, insignificant man.  He had a reputation of being just that much smarter than everyone else, but once in the spotlight, he showed he was just an impotent careerist weasel like all the rest of the shitbirds in D.C.  Wheeler also had an undeserved rep as some sort of interwebs intellectual, but now she's doing everything possible to show the world she's as big a fatuous bonehead as anyone looking to squeeze a dime from the Democratic establishment.

Rather than normalizing the insane and violent exploitation of poor dead bastards and their weeping wives by fuckknobs like Donald Trump, how bout some of these media darlings talk about Owens' father.  That might do some good instead of sucking Trump's dick some more.  Being a war-mongering idiot does not make you presidential.  At least it shouldn't.  But that's not what the establishment media says.  Exceptional!