Bandwagon Fanclub

Now Everybody Likes 'The Orville'

Bandwagonesque, anyone? (The idea, not the album.)  It's not just the gossip kids, but all the ass clowns who were shitting on the show way harder than they shit on most trash are now on board or at least on the platform.  It's popular.  We like cool things, too.  We know what's good.  Look at us having the same opinions like everybody else.  Keep in mind these are some of the same folks who think they're sharp enough to discuss other, sometimes somewhat important shit, too.  Thanks, Trump.

Joe Barton Is 100% Sick Of All The Winning

Yeah, bye, k.  Who could possibly be sick of winning with Joe Barton?  Maybe the poor fat fucker realized he didn't have too many good years left of yanking his nasty little pud on the internets, so it was now or never to chase that dream.  Thanks, Trump!

The Rest Of The World Gets In On The Ben Domenech-McCain And The Federalist Fisking

Welcome aboard.  Ben Domenech-McCain will always shit out the dumbest plagiarized bullshit, even when he doesn't write it himself.

X Back

Jane Sanders Obliterates Joy Reid

Oh yeah.  Vicious.  Reid deserves no less.

Not Ewe Too

Terrible Things About U2, And Thanks The Gods Nobody Cares

Nobody gives a shit about U2's new record, but the 90s were a terrible time for U2.  The music was laughably bad, and anyone who doesn't understand that is a fucking vile moron.

Comprehensive Yet Joyless Fisking Of The Proud Boys, America's Most Explicit Expression Of Closet Cases Since The GOP

Sure, it's fine to catalog their fascist, violent, misogynist, and racist tendencies and actions, but when you get into the fabulous weeds with the proud boys, you simply must revel in ridicule and point and laugh at their pathetic homosexual subtext.  These semi-pro nancyboys are not just the guys not cool enough to make the team or get a bid to the top fraternity, but they're the guys who didn't get into state u in the first place.  Most decent folks would say it doesn't matter if these losers are timid closeted homos, since that's their own business, but not those proud boys.  They pride themselves as virile and desired, but their whole existence screams help me, love me for my very gay self louder than the Village People, Rob Halford, or even Alex Jones.

1 Line, No Waiting

Figuring Out Arcade Fire Is Not That Hard

There's nothing complex, nothing deep about the band.  They're good.  Very good at their peak, and now they'll never be that good again.  Never brilliant.  Never the Mekons.  Far too easy to overthink Arcade Fire, but the answer is pretty simple.  I said years ago that The Suburbs was like Jonathan Franzen's The Corrections, good, very good at times, clever in spots, entertaining, but short of brilliant, while also clearly the creative peak of the artist.  Arcade Fire, like Franzen, is easy to figure out.

James O'Keefe Is Now Officially Sick Of All The Winning

O'Keefe is fucking sick! What happened to all the winning?  He probably thought he'd never get sick of all the winning, but something happened.  What was that??

Thanks, Trump.

Word Up

Trump Is No Worse Than Every Other Racist GOP Shitbag

Of course he made an embarrassing racist remark in front of drunken redskins who were playing powwow for firewater.  Why wouldn't he?  It's the GOP way!  Those fucks love that shit!  And every one of 'em got to take home a free blanket, too.

Kevin Sorbo Is A Special Kind Of Stupid

It's nice that he can usually put on his big boy pants by himself now and go outside to play, but that poor dumb bastard should not be left alone ever.  Sorbo is one of those nitwits who can't understand that Hillary Fucking Clinton is not actually elected to anything right now, so she matters almost less than Kevin Sorbo.

Joy Reid May Be A Village Idiot, But Erick Erikson's Fat Face Is Not Up To Fisking Her

I'm sure Erick son of Erick has trouble picking his nose without adult supervision.  Reid's no-show job in the establishment is safe as long as dimwits like Erickson are the only ones sniping at her.

Political Song for Chuck Timlin, Chip Lowery, Adam Hardej, and the Rest to Sing

Trump's Incompetence Is Breaking Every Facet Of American Government

And it's hilarious.  Trump's not simply a tiny-fingered vulgarian, not simply a childish imbecile, no, he's so much more.  Trump is tediously stupid, hopelessly incompetent, and the GOP establishment is helpless before him.  These are the greatest days for entertainment in human history.  And he's not just destroying America, he's unraveling the entire western world.  Thanks, Trump!

Ginnin' It

Trump Will Lie About The Piss Tape, Too

He's trying to lie about the pussy tape now, after admitting it already because senile, and no doubt Trump will lie about the piss tape when it comes out, denying that those Indochinese ladyboy hookers pissing on him were the ones he met through Bill O'Reilly.

Atrios' Peeps Pretty Much Grok Franken

A coupla lame trolls and an unfortunate midwestern lesbian are fucking dumb as rocks, but, as a whole, better than the general population on this shit.  Small victories and whatnot.

Uncle Tom Tim Scott Is A Little Bit Sick Of All The Winning

Even a boot-licking Uncle Tom can have too much winning, I guess.  Scott will never jeopardize his place in the plantation house, but that doesn't mean his obsequious smile is sincere. 

Doctor Who, Way Before It Was Cool Or A Reasonable Facsimile

Jesus, it musta sucked to be a greasy dweeb loser before the interwebs.  Those poor fuckers had to be tedious and awful in person and through the mail...

Down Trickle

Somehow Basic Science Is Too Hard For Every Fucking Republican

Science is sciencing right there in front of them every day, but none of the teabagging GOP racist fuckfaces are smart enough to get it.  That's not good.  You don't need to be a scientitian or other expert to comprehend the concepts involved.  Reactionary right-wing ignorance, carefully cultivated by the ruling class is destroying humanity.  Evolution is a fact.  It's happening.  Your gods are fantasies. 

Goin' Downer

Rosy Jackoff

Nice Writeup On The Orville

Well-done.  The Orville is not the greatest show ever or anything, but it is a decent TNG homage.

Six Years Of Fuk U Fukushima

Jesus frakking christ. That's half a life if you're 12.  It's an amazing artifact of our modern civilization that this shit can happen and then just fade out of the collective consciousness.  Wonderfully useful for maintaining the status quo. 

The Twits Fail Net Neutrality

Some of them try their damnedest, working their empty heads overtime, but of course the reactionary cocksuckers like that #one centaur guy show up to puke up bullshit and then everyone gets confused and forgets what they were talking about.  Fucking twits.

Danica Roem May Never Get Sick Of All The Winning In Virginia

Keep it up, girl!  Roem's winning sure looks like losing for Trump and all the hateful fundie shitheads and other vile bigots in Virginia.  Thanks, Trump!

Joe Barton Whacking His Tiny Weiner Is Truly Making America Greater Again

Nothing says American exceptionalism quite like a fat, 90 year old congressman furiously jerking his tiny dick on video.  Winning!  MMAAAGGGGAAAAA!!  Thanks, Trump.

Those Motherfuckers At Time Had Better Make Colin Kaepernick Man Of The Year

Or Kim Jong-un. Or Hillary Fucking Clinton.  Something that will make Trump have a complete, beautiful, public, hilarious, pants-shitting, shit-throwing psychotic break.  Please jeebus.

Beautiful Christian Patriot Christopher Gattis Is Not Sick Of All The Winning

Gattis loves jesus, the constitution, freedumb, Donald Trump, guns, and America!  He's responsible for the greatest headline in human history: Youth Pastor Murders Family At Thanksgiving.  Fuck yeah, America.  Thanks, Trump.

Useful Juanita Broaddrick Fisking

Clinton was trash, and the women he was attracted to were fucking trash as well.  Broaddrick is fucking problematic as a hell.  She fucked up so badly that we'll never know what happened between her and Tubby.

Going Goes

And The Fucking Cowboys Lost On Thanksgiving

The world may be shit with no sane person thankful for anything significant, but when the vile excrement of American exceptionalism the Dallas Cowboys lose in humiliating fashion in front of the nation, well, fuck yeah.

Tom Baker Will Never Be Topped As Doctor Who

Unchallenged number 1.  Eccleston probably 2.  More than a couple tied for 3.  And so it goes.

Gobble This, Motherfucker

Let It Ring

Always The Dumbest Take From Gleeful Pissboy Ezra Klein's Vox, Franken Edition

Too stupid to live, that should be the Vox credo.  Always lame, always shallow.  Always wrong.  So according to moron Anna North the photograph of Franken and Tweeden shows Franken "apparently harassing" Tweeden.  NO IT DOESN'T!  The picture was staged.  He never touched her!  She was not sleeping.  Jesus fucking christ, why would Vox or anyone else take the word of movement conservative and Fox "News" contributor/Roger Stone operative Leeann Tweeden?  That's moronic.  Then Franken supposedly failed to "respect the bodily autonomy" OF A TRUMP VOTER!  WHO COMES OUT YEARS LATER!  What the fuck?  How can anybody be this dumb.  Franken may have done something.  Or not.  But right now there are no decent reasons to believe he did anything wrong because Roger Stone.  Stone is not to be trusted, so all this shit and all these "accusers" are highly suspect. 

And North, who writes and thinks like she's 12, probably didn't live through the Clinton shit, but the people who did live through it understood that Monica Lewinsky was grooming Clinton for exactly what she got; Tubby was guilty of bad judgement to the billionth degree, but he didn't target or groom Lewinsky for harassment.  Juanita Broaddrick may or may have been raped by that asshole Clinton, but the evidence available at the time, including a sworn statement from Broaddrick herself that it never happened, made it impossible to believe her.  Bill Clinton was a vile piece of shit and a worse president--much the same way Franken is a loathsome neoliberal establishment Dem senator--but that Clinton/Lewinsky bullshit was a politically motivated hit job, and the shitbird Dems had no choice but to fight it.  Anna North is an airhead and wrong as wrong can be about this shit show, so she fits right in at Vox.

Reasonable, If Shallow, Al Franken Fisking

No pearls clutched and an understanding that any dipshit appointed to replace him would be just as much a neoliberal tool as Franken.  That's better than most other commentators have managed!

John Rogers Is Sick Of All Roy Moore's Beautiful Winning!

So sick of all the winning that he quit!  With three weeks left in the campaign!!  MMAAAGGGGAAAAA!!!

A Billion Views For Bullshit, But This John Langford Thing Gets No Comments

AV Club and America suck.  Jon Langford keeps chugging along, working working working till he drops.  Rock on, cowboy.

Roy Moore's Wife Was A 24-Year Old Divorced Single Mother When They Married

In fucking shitsville Alabama, in 1985.  Was she as vulnerable and powerless and malleable as a teenager to the 38-year old pervert Moore?  Was she helpless and needy?  Was she willing to put up with his shit because she had no prospects?  Was she like an 8th-grader from a broken home?  Was she like a poor, naive teenager happy to get the attention?  She might be a vile cunt now, but was she just another dumb girl exploited by a serial predator?

Joe Barton's Dick Is Not Sick Of The Winning

Joe Barton and his useless little weeny are never gonna be sick of winning!  Barton is a hot and horny Texan with a compact tool ready for some nauseating cowboy action with mature Lone Star heffers.  MAGA!

Brutal Fisking Of Exceptional American Inanity

William Kaufman is not amused.  Good for him.  Perspective is not encouraged around here.  Never really was.  But the grossest atrocities have always been and will always be obfuscated by the puerile behavior of our "leaders" and other "celebrities" because that is very good for business as usual.

Trains

Richard Spencer Is Not Sick Of Winning!

Winning! MAGA!! Hitler!!!  Richard Spencer is making friends everywhere he goes.  Everybody wants to be associated with America's beautiful neo-Nazis.  These are some exceptional Americans for sure!

How Old Was Roy Moore's Wife When He Met Her?

15? When he noticed her at a dance recital? That's not too fucking creepy or anything.  What the fuck was he doing hanging out at dance recitals?  Jesus christ!  He says he didn't hop on her at that time, but he's a fucking liar and a child molester, so we can't trust him.  This gods damned creepster was a full-time child predator.  How the fuck are we just learning about this atrocity now?

Retrogrouches Of Italy, Offical

Everything old is new again.  But that 1985 Campag Super Record stuff would be impossible to make today.

Sarah Corina Is Tobora

Sarah Corina's Relentless Self-Promotion

The woman won't shut up about herself.  A tweet every 3 or 4 months, maybe.  Damn, girl, chill the eff out.

I wish we had some real news, though.  I dig The Mekons, but I dug 'em most with her.

Attn Dems: Leigh Corfman Is What A Real Victim Looks Like

If you can't differentiate between a set-up and a real victim, here it is.  Corfman has credibility and courage.  Learn to recognize those things, Dems.  It might be important someday.

Ridor

Susie Madrak, Idiot. When Do We Get Smart Folks Instead?

Aren't people over the age of six supposed to learn a thing or two?  Jesus.  Madrak is a fucking buffoon, falling right into the trap the Wiley E. Coyote named Roger Stone put right in the middle of the fucking highway.  Even a cartoon bird was sharper.  And maybe Madrak and the rest of the pearl-clutching airheads haven't picked up on the racist shit being thrown Franken's way.  The anti-Semites are pissing themselves with joy right now.  Shouldn't Susie Madrak be asking why?

LaVar Ball And Donald Trump Are In Love

This is the greatest love match since Satan and Saddam Hussein.  These two clowns need each other.  They ache for it.  It's grand.  And if we put them both in a rocket and fire them into the sun, the rest of us won't have to watch.

The Senior Gossip Kids Try A Little Harder To Undo Their Heads From Their Asses

These are the serious gossip kids, the news ones.  A few of 'em give it the old college try and work to convince their cohort that the shit about Franken is fairly obviously a smear campaign.  Anyone with a couple of brain cells should be able to tell the difference between the reportage of the Roy Moore and the Al Franken allegations.  First and foremost, the Post found Roy Moore's victims, vetted their stories, and interviewed them multiple times to test their veracity, while the two lying GOP sluts in the Franken case outed themselves to the press and have not been verified at all but have been caught misrepresenting themselves and/or their accusations.  See the difference?  Me, too.

The Girl Gossip Kids Are Idiots

Jesus, they're as stupid as trumptards.  If they are so fucking gullible that they're not able to consider each claim of misconduct on its own merits, well, what the fuck are they doing running around loose?  Can they not read and see that the woman's statement about Franken on Facebook was a joke in response to her sisters comment about bibles and space between them?  Gods damn, fucking dumb.  Surrendering to Roger Stone's ratfucking means losing today and forever.  Too bad these naive kids are too hopeless to see that.

Small Orange

Gerry Adams: A Great Man

A true leader and a man for his people, Gerry Adams was is a brilliant statesman and skilled military commander.  One of the greatest humans of our time. 

These People Seem Nice, Not Demented And Insane At All

Stalwart beautiful American conservatives, ready to take on libtards and fags everywhere.  They love jesus but not Satan, because sanity.  These folks and millions like them are GOP warriors, ready to do anything to protect our glorious oligarchs.  Genius!

A Way

Kay Ivey Is Not Sick Of Winning With Roy Moore

Winning! MAGA!! Child Abuse!!!  It's all winning in Alabamy.

This Is The Sort Of Cowboy Roy Moore Looks Like

I would not have been shocked if Moore had been there watching pulling a Louis CK.  But apparently Moore's playing for the hetero pervert team.

Clear Eyes

Stupdendous Drive-By Auto-Fisking By Scab Cocksucker German Lopez

Delete your account, you stupid motherfucker.  Might as well, German, since it will take literally the rest of your life to get the taste of Ezra Klein's piss out of your mouth.

Who Else Is Still Kinda Shocked Roy Moore Was Molesting Girls And Not Boys?

It still seem wrong.  Moore is such a classic closet-case, ostentatious bullshit christian, silly little guns, fabulous cowboy costumes and all.  I am still surprised that his predilection was teenage girls.  Not that it's better that way.

You Can Always Count On The Dumbest Take From Amanda Marcotte

Why exactly does anyone pay Marcotte for this shit? What qualifications does she have that someone much sharper does not?  We may never know the answers to these questions, but tune in again next time for another exciting episode of Bullshit, Or Not?

So, anyway, anyone who ignores the agenda behind Leeann Tweeden, Fox "News" and ratfuckers like Roger Stone right fucking now and instead worries about Michele Bachmann being elected to the Senate is a fucking idiot.  Franken's not up till 2020, which will be either Pence or Trump trying to stand in front of a tsunami; all this bullshit with Franken and Tweeden will be forgotten as long as this the extent of the allegations.

Roy Moore Press Conferences Are Making America Greater Again

This is about all the winning any one man can take.  Any more winning than this and your head will explode!

Becky Gray Is Definitely Sick Of All Roy Moore's Winning

This woman Becky Gray is fucking brutal in her denunciation of Roy Moore.  Absolutely beautiful.  She should be in all the fucking ads running in Alabama.  "He's not a christian.  He's a pervert."  Just perfect.  Brava!

Roy Moore's New Mallrats Flick Is Gonna Be A Blockbuster

I don't know how any other movies will win any awards when Roy Moore's Mallrats 2: Sweet Young Alabama hits screens next year.  It's got it all.  A debonair older man.  Hot young teens!  Winning!!  MAGA!!!

Shame On The Dems And The Media For Believing Leeann Tweeden When She Is Clearly Lying

The Dems need people willing to push back against the GOP and Tweeden for lying about the picture.  Obviously Franken can't do it.  Not Schumer or the pearl-clutchers in the Senate--and idiots like Tammy Duckworth who said she had every reason to believe a Fox "News" birther friend of Roger Stone Republican activist like Tweeden, but that's right there are no good reasons to question her veracity.  Jesus.  Fucking losers.  But someone on the Dem side with balls needs to stand up for the their team.  Preferably a woman, but someone should be telling the truth about this hit job.  Tweeden is not sleeping in that picture, she's pretending.  It's clearly staged.  Franken is not touching her, so that is in no way photographic evidence of groping and/or assault.  If she's lying about that, then she might be lying about the rest.  She's a Fox "News" employee after all, birther, friend of Hannity, so she is a known scumbag liar and piece of shit.  And if Franken did assault her in some way, and it can be verified by someone not associated with Roger Stone or Fox "News" or the like, well, that's fine.  Until then, it's a lie.  A smear.  Some Dems need to say this.  Fight back.  Hard.  Until it goes away.  That's how an adversarial system works.  It's not about right and wrong, it's about winning.  Every.  Fucking.  Time.  Somehow the GOP sorta understands this most of the time, but the Dems never do.

And there needs to be pushback against the incompetent establishment media who are once again bumbling around as useful idiots serving the movement conservatives while pretending they are acting on principle.  Two-bit hacks like Michelle Goldberg are using this horseshit to further their own climb up the village ladder, to the detriment of civilization as she enables conservatives because of a "disgusting, indelible photograph".  A picture where he's not touching her and she's not sleeping, but Goldberg is dumb enough to push the right-wing narrative.  Again.  Use your eyes you fucking morons.

I am not a Franken supporter, or even a supporter of most Dems--if Franken is forced out Mark Dayton will appoint another worthless establishment Dem to replace him--but when the conservatives can so easily undermine the other major political party, well, that's bad news for everyone.

This is only the latest evidence we'd all be better off to let the Democratic Party completely collapse along with the Republicans.  The entire establishment is weak and diseased, and with these right-wing political parties gone, we at least have a chance to rebuild a major party on the left in the aftermath.

Slangin' It

Al Franken Is Smarter Than The Average Dem--Not Hard

Dems never learn anything--you can have Trump and Moore and Vitter and Santorum and a billion other creepy GOP perverts out there carrying on in spite of everything, yet Dems--not leftists, Dems--are all pissing themselves over this Franken bullshit, while Franken is being smart.  The Dems would be fucking stupid to give up Franken for something being peddled by a Republican operative, frequent Fox "News" personality, Trump supporter, and sub-grade moron like Leeann Tweeden.  Franken is taking it head-on.  Smart.  Franken should pledge to resign "24 hours after the President".

But Dems are pussies and dumb as rocks.  They never ever learn anything and are never willing to stand up to stupidity, mostly because they're just as guilty as being fucking worthless as the GOP.

Now, leftists, on the other hand, well, they can go all Eve Peyser and call for Franken to resign because a photograph of him not touching an actress pretending to be sleeping means he assaulted her, and it's mostly fine because Franken has been a pretty useless establishment Dem and would likely be replaced by someone exactly as useless.  You can get tons of support and push your agenda, which is probably a good thing, except for the fact that you would be emboldening the bad guys in the short term at the very least.  Risky.

Dems on Team-D should be fighting against this bullshit with 100% ferocity.  If they truly wanted to beat the Republicans.  Which they don't.  So we know how this will go.

Leftists should be smarter about this shit, too, though, smarter then Peyser and the rest of the gossip kids and the other soft-headed simps out there snuffling their way onto the bottom rungs of the establishment.  When the right-wing establishment fights back against their own foul deeds with lies, the good guys and gals should be fighting it with all the ferocity the Dems won't, no matter how much it makes them feel good inside to stand on what they believe is principle.  As they are here apparently.  There were plenty of witnesses to this stuff with Franken.  It was 11 years ago, not 17,000.  If Franken did something wrong with this woman, then it will surely be uncovered, and if the GOP is smearing Franken, well, then don't be dumb enough to fall for it.  But that won't happen, because well-meaning dopes like Peyser will always take the bait and will never be rational enough to understand what they're doing.

Unless you are hardcore and going for the burn it all down solution.  That's fine, and may be necessary sooner rather than later for any real progress, but I doubt that most indignant internet left or leftish folks out there have the stomach for that shit.

This is the reality of the world we live in.  These are exactly the sorta of lessons most of these boobs should've learned by now, but it's sad that Franken is the only one who seems to be paying attention.  You shouldn't need to be the target of an attack to recognize it's an attack.

But something we're not considering is this.  Eve Peyser might not be the best person to judge Al Franken.  Jesus.  You're not supposed to read the shit off your fucking phone.  Just awful.

Daze In

Bernie Bernstein Will Never Be Sick Of All The Winning

Bernie Bernstein is a big city jew and he wants to give YOU money!  All you gotta do is dish the dirt on Roy Moore and you can get some of that jew money from Bernie Bernstein.  Do you want jew money?  Would you like to take some money from a jew?  Well, when Bernie Bernstein calls, you know what to do!

Will Callista Gingrich Be The Premier Cocksucker At The Vatican?

She'll probably have some stiff competition, but Newt was willing to stand up for her skills with a dick in her mouth before god and shit, so that's something.  Can she be as good as Nancy Reagan, tho...

What Happens When You're A Whiny Bitch And You're Mad Some Other Idiots Make Way More Money On YouTube Than You Do?

This. This happens.  Flat-Earth Bob is shocked and dismayed that it's way easier to make money on the interwebs with low-effort, low-overhead dumb shit than it is to make real art, or write books, or make films.  Really?  No shit!  Who fuckin' knew.  This is jealousy pure and simple.  In fact, I would almost think this Bob guy was doing a really dry, arch send-up of internets morons, but the obsequious sucking up to the site promoting his clickbait is more than a bit thirsty.  Ask the Red Letter Media guys about how much easier it is to be clowns instead of filmmakers.

Coming Soon: Roy Moore Starring In Mall Rats 2

It's the bigly movie of the year nobody wanted to see!  It's chock full of winning!  It will make America greater again!  Donald Trump and the Weinstein Company present Roy Moore starring in Mall Rats 2: Sweet Young Alabama, with music by Ted Nugent and Mike Huckabee.

Trenton Garmon: Not Sick Of Winning And Possibly A Worse Lawyer Than Imani Gandy Or Armando Llorens!

If you're a bigger fucking moron than Gandy and Llorens, that's some bigly motherfucking winning!  Garmon is also proof that Roy Moore is not the dumbest lawyer in Alabama.  MMAAAGGGGAAAA!  Thanks, Trump.  Winning is fun.

Sean Hannity Is Sick Of All The Winning

So much winning! Holy fuck that's a shitload of winning!  MMAAAGGGGAAAAA!  If you're a child-molesting creep like Roy Moore and you can't count on the 100%, iron-clad support of a fatuous fuckbag like Hannity no matter what disgusting and illegal things you did to helpless kids, who's left?  This is full-on, ocean-going winning, Trump style!

Girls Talk

How Big Of A Fucking Creep Do You Have To Be To Get Banned From A Mall In Alabama?

In 1980?  Jesus, Roy Moore was a fucking serial child molester and predator.  What the fuck is he doing running for Senate? 

Namein'

Paul Ryan Seems Sick Of All The Winning

What is winning for the GOP anymore?  Trump made 'em sick of the winning, I guess.  Winning doesn't mean what it did a couple of years ago.  Thanks, Trump.

Exceptional American Freedumb Breaks Out In A California School

MMAAAGGGGAAAAA!  Who was this beautiful brave patriot expressing his love of freedumb?  Why don't more people love the constitution the way this fella did?  Winning!  Guns!!  FREEDUMB!!!

Senile Old Orrin Hatch Now Very Confused About All The Winning With Roy Moore

Poor old creep.  It's pretty clear that Hatch now has no idea what winning is all about.  This Roy Moore thing is making winning very confusing for the GOP.  Thanks, Trump.

But If Italy Doesn't Have The World Cup

What's left for those fucking greaseballs? It's Italy for fuck's sake!  I guess this proves that even decent football countries can fuck it all up.  Thanks, Trump.

Without Plagiarism And Lies, The Federalist Would Have Nothing

So, some inbred dipshit from a risible teabagging college goes on an unhinged rant making up nonsense about Vienna because the kid had lived there, hoping to make all-American exceptional teabaggers and other mental-defective fuckwads who might read The Federalist hate commies or something.  Genius!  Winning!  Where did Ben Domenech tell that kid to copy that bullshit from? 

Dishin'

Pat Toomey Sick Of Winning?

Too much winning for shitty PA Senator Pat Toomey?  He sounds a little sick, so that must be sick of winning!  MMAAAGGGGAAAAA!  Thanks, Trump.

Christianity Is A Mental Illness

You gotta be fucking nuts to believe there's an invisible sky spirit who cares about your sex life.  That's fucking stupid.  This poor, sad, lonely--and sick--old woman is certainly pathetic, but the goofy catholic shit just makes it so much dumber.  How the fuck can these people wipe their own asses.

Finally A Reason To NOT Smash A Keurig! Winning!! MAGA!!!

Thanks teabaggers.  Maybe the DSCC should buy every American a Keurig machine with a GOP = child molesters sticker on it so everyone can enjoy shitty coffee and shit on Repbulicans.  Winning!

Live In Hell

Jeanine Pirro: Cunt Of The Year, Every Fucking Year

Sure, there's probably someone nastier than Jeanine Pirro out there, some conservative fuckstick so vile and repulsive, so nauseating, the entire universe runs away from their rancid inanity, but Pirro is a horrible, horrible cunt.

Prized

Erick Son Of Erick Is The Stupidest Man On Earth

He thinks children can consent to sex with adults and that three year olds identify as boys or girls.  Erickson is a hideously dumb person.  He clearly should not be allowed to roam free where he can infect innocent life with whatever vile disease destroyed his brain. 

All Talk

Jeff Flake Never Met A Republican

No Republican in America is better than Roy Moore.  Every fucking Republican in the country is Roy Moore or Roy Moore's best friend.  Republicans are sure as shit not any better than Roy Moore in any way.  Fuck Jeff Flake, GOP asshole and Republican just like Roy Moore.

Political Song for Jim Zeigler to Sing

Jim Zeigler, Like Roy Moore, Is A Devout Fucking Christian

And an utterly vile asshole.  Zeigler is a fucking creep himself, and he and Roy Moore deserve each other.  MAGA!  MAGA!!  MMAAAGGGGAAAAA!!!

Jerry Falwell Jr Not Sick Of Winning, Roy Moore, Or Child Molestation

Jerry Falwell Jr. stands up for sexual assault of children! Praise jeebus!  There's one creepy fuck who's not at all sick of winning!  Falwell loves him some Roy Moore.  Thanks, Trump.

Senators Mike Lee And Steve Daines: Officially Sick Of All The Winning

Just too much winning and child molesting for Mike Lee and Steve Daines.  Those fuckers simply hate winning.  And child sexual abuse.  And Roy Moore.  Or something.  But Trump said people would be sick of all the winning.  Lee and Daines must be those people.  Thanks, Trump.

The Independent Unleashes A High-Altitude Bombing/Fisking Of 'Resistance' Asswipes

Jeebus feckin' christo, that was fucking hilarious.  And they seemed to be having some fun with it, too, and that's so important to enjoy making fun of these risible fuckers.  Rock on!

Director's

Animated Klub

Shocking News: Creepy Christian Asshole Roy Moore Is A HETEROSEXUAL Child Molester!

Breaking: Roy Moore is NOT into diddling young boys Sandusky-style!  Repeat: Disgusting sex pervert child molester Roy Moore is not a closet-case.  In shocking news, the Washington Post printed a story detailing how Roy Moore molested a 14 year old girl when he was 30-something.  He stalked the girl and took her to his house at night and proceeded to assault her.  In an unexpected twist, Moore's victim was a girl, not a young teen or preteen boy.  This news of a sex crime committed by Moore against an underage female is definitely a surprise to anyone in America who has seen Moore on the tee vee or in person.  GOP hypocrites and assorted right-wing fuckers have called on Moore to withdraw from his Senate race if these shocking allegations of heterosexual child molestation are true.

Betsy DeVos Might Be Sick Of All The Winning Or Something

Winning doesn't seem to apply when it comes to mental-defective ogre Betsy DeVos.  What did Trump mean about all the winning?  Who exactly was gonna be sick from too much winning?  DeVos?  Her closet-case junior fascist thug brother, maybe?  It's not clear.  MAGA?

Lee Carter Is What Real Winning Looks Like

Carter ran on his own as a socialist after the Dems cut him loose. And he won.  Organizing and outreach and enthusiasm and popular left-wing ideas matter more than party imprimatur.  Unlike the Trump insane ranting, Lee Carter is genuine winning.  The Dems should be learning from this shit, but undoubtedly the rock-ribbed conservative Democratic Party will never run on popular positions in order to win if it means offending the oligarchs who hold their leashes. 

Teaching Trumptards Through Song

Paul LePage: Another Republican Probably Confused About Winning

Trump may have somewhat misrepresented what he meant by all the winning.  LePage is probably vexed right now.  How does winning work, asshole?  Thanks, Trump.

Yep, A Pretty Good Election Day

Some excellent victories, beautiful losses for the bad guys, and important lessons that the establishment Dems will fail to learn because they are neoliberal fuckfaces.  But that's for tomorrow.  Today was the day after a good day, so taking time to enjoy the suffering of your enemies and their horrible racist reactionary followers is certainly a good thing. 

Larry Krasner Is A Winner

And now he's the DA in Philadelphia.  That's winning!  Winners winning!  Thanks, Trump!  I'm not sure this is what Trump and Bannon and Steven Miller had in mind, though.  Taking leftist and progressive candidates everywhere and turning them into winners sounds like it might be damaging to the neo-fascist GOP Trumptard MAGA program.  But what do I know.  Winning!

Trump Should Ask Wilmot Collins In Helena If He's Sick Of All The Winning

Wilmot Collins is probably not sick of all the winning!  He's no Ed Gillespie, though.  Nope, Collins is an actual winner.  I wonder if Wilmot Collins is the sort of candidate Trump and Bannon had in mind for all the winning?  Thanks, Trump!

Ravi Bhalla, Sick Of Winning? Nope, Probably Not!

Hoboken, NJ, home of Yo La Tengo, did a solid for America by electing a man named Ravi Bhalla as mayor.  Mayor-elect Bhalla is probably very nice, but he will also be helping make America greater again for reals by driving racist assholes and other bigoted cocksuckers crazy because he is a Sikh and wears a turban and beard.  That's fucking awesome, because the neo-Nazi faggots and other Trumptards are not gonna handle that real well.  Bhalla's victory party was held a Moran's Pub, so Mayor-elect Bhalla surely is a skilled politician. 

Danica Roem Is Not Tired Of All The Winning! Actual Winning!!

Fucking beautiful.  The first practicing metalhead in Virginia politics also happens to be a trans woman.  Can this get any better?  How many teabaggers, hateful christian fuckfaces, and other bigots had strokes in the last 24 hours?  However many it was not enough.  How's homophobic shitstain Bob Marshall enjoying all the winning?  Seriously, THANKS, TRUMP!

Are New Jersey Republicans Sick Of All The Winning Yet? Kim Duadagno?

Winning? MAGA?  Kim Duadagno might be a little mistaken about what winning is, along with the rest of the NJ GOP.  Thanks, Trump.

Remember A Coupla Years Ago When The Media And Their Neocon Butt Buddies Said De Blasio Could Never Be Reelected? WINNING! MAGA!!

Brainless reactionary fucksticks like the NY Post editorial board and Fox "News" and every right-wing racist cockbag on the radio and interwebs said the anti-cop anti-business anti-white Bill de Blasio would never win a second term in that vile cesspool of liberalism and wealth Jew York City.  So, winning?  MAGA?  Are we sick of too much winning yet, boys?  Thanks, Trump.

When Will Ed Gillespie Get Sick Of All The Winning?

MAGA?  When do we get the winning, Trump?  Gillespie looked a little sick last night.  Was he sick of winning?  All of it?  Sick?  Winning?  Sick?  Not sure, but thanks again, Trump.

This Is What A Scared-Shitless Teabagger Looks Like: Brett Mac

Bed-wetting beta cuck from some closet-case teabagging stroke club sounds absolutely terrified.  Rock the fuck on, DSA!

And thanks, Trump!

Ed Gillespie Is A Fucking Loser, Just Like His Boy Trump

Gillespie's such a cuck, he can't even beat himself.  What a loser.  The big story: Trump's man lost in Virginia.  Ruh roh. 

America's Dumbest Ex Cop And Bronze Medal-Level Cocksucker Bo Dietl Ran For Mayor

Without winning.  But sweet fracking jesus that guy is a fucking bag of rancid bear shit.  Bo Dietl: One Dumb Cop.

2017 Gaulzetti A Thing?

No.  These are not a thing.  Pretty sure the California Gaulzetti will not have the cult of personality of the Boston area Gaulzetti.

Thrivin'

Now We Can All See That Donna Brazile Has Always Been A Performance Art Project

Donna Brazile has been the work of a brilliant artist, a satire of a nakedly political hollow person, without principle or loyalty.  Now that the Brazile character is being retired, the genius artist will finally be able to get the credit they deserve.

America's Beloved Queen And Hero To All Juli Briskman Has No Regrets

Turns out she worked for a bunch of mental-defective Trumptard cocksuckers.  But not any more.  Now she's free to light the path to freedom for all true Americans.  Long live Queen Juli.

World Famous Token Piyush Jindal And The Federalist Deserve Each Other

Self-hating braindead squish and noted asshole Piyush Jindal and Ben Domenech's dumb little website deserve each other.  Jindal's a complete fuckwit who doesn't understand anything, and Domenech is a sad little plagiarist smearing his own shit on the wall and calling for praise from momma.  Piyush is even stupid enough to think that a super-majority of Americans don't support single-payer healthcare right now.  They do, but somehow that's good for Republicans.  Genius!  Piyush Jindal is a fucking genius!

Basherin'

Devin Patrick Kelley: Another Beautiful Freedom-Loving Exceptional Constitutional Patriot Exercising His Second Amendment Rights--MAGA! MAGA!! MMAAAGGGGAAAAA!!!

A beautiful patriot, a real man, who loved America and freedumb, Kelley did so much today to help make America greater again!  Kelley was exactly the sort of exceptional, constitution-loving warrior who was always ready to fight along side the rest of the brave racist GOP murderers and other guntard pussies.  Thanks, Trump!

Apparently Joy Reid Is A Harvard Graduate, Just Like Jared Kushner

Exactly like Jared Kushner.  Another fabulously entertaining drive-by auto-fisking from a fucking inane neoliberal ass-clown establishment Dem who should delete their fucking account.

A Sebadoh

Useful Sam Harris Drive-By Fisking

But for his mother's tee vee money, Sam Harris would be squatting in a puddle eating worms wearing nothing besides a threadbare Mr. Bubble t-shirt and some grimy tube socks.  He's a dickless dickhead, but even worse, he's a brainless racist shitbrain.  Thanks, Trump.

Tree'd

After The Antifa EMP, We Will Gather Up The Teabaggers For Permanent Removal

Christians and other teabagging right-wing fuckers like this dipshit will be rounded up by our Antifa ninja commandos so that we can deport them Mexico.  Sorry Mexico.  But after tomorrow, Antifa will begin to cleanse the nation, eventually leaving only the good folks who can think and read and tie their own shoes.  Antifa is only the start.  They are the shock troops of our glorious revolution, when we finally get rid of the right-wing scum with sub-room temperature IQs.  Once the Antifa super-ninjas clear the way, the rest of us patriots will finish the job, sending every christian, teabagger, and every other hard-right shitstain packing for a one-way trip to good old Mexico.

Astonishing Armando Big-Tent-Democrat-Armandodkos Llorens Drive-By Auto-Fisking

Delete your account you stupid motherfucker.  Seriously, this Armando dipshit should start a law firm with Imani Gandy so we know where all the biggest idiots are at all times.  Makes you think Kos peaked with Jerome Armstrong's tinfoil hat and pyramid-scheme grifting and Joe Trippi's Fox "News" contract.

Jesus Tapdancing Christ, Sam Clovis Is A Menace To The Trump Administration

Winning bigly! MAGA! The fucking Trump people had no idea that idiot testified before Mueller's grand jury till they saw it on the fucking news.  WINNING!  Who's in fucking charge down there?  If that fat fucking piggy Clovis is the guy who undoes Trump, we'll probably have to pin a medal to his greasy porcine ass.

Bergdahl Gets Something Approaching Justice

Which is no mean feat.  It would be lovely to think that Trump's insane rantings may have helped convince the judge, Col. Nance, to not sentence Bergdahl to any more jail time.  And say what you will, but that crazy bastard knew how to make that dumb uniform look like a recruiting poster.

Twits Don't Do Thinkin'

It's hard to read. When your a twit.  Anywho, the upper-classes are so fucking useless in general that the twits are just some of many helpless morons out there destroying what passes for our exceptional American society.

Washin' Up

'The Orville' Renewed, Performed 'Respectively' According to Variety

Wait...what?  Performed respectively?  Respectively?  Jesus fracking christo.  Respectfully?  No, not that either.  Respectably?  Yeah, that's probably what Cpt. Fuckface Daniel Holloway meant.  Respectably. 

Is Sam Clovis Sick Of All The Winning Yet? Nyet!

Sam Clovis is one of Trump's top men. Top men!  Now, he's no rocket scientist, or any kind of scientist, but Trump still wanted him to be a chief scientist.  Top man!  Not now though.  He's out.  Winning!  MAGA!

Fox "News" Hires The Dumbest "Democrats" Like Jehmu Greene On Purpose To Make Their Own Right-Wing Fuckbrains Look Good

The saddest Dems are the Hillary dead-enders and blah morons like Fox "News"' Jehmu Greene.  Sanders may not be perfect, but by christ on a fucking polo pony, Sanders has had this shit figured out for decades while Greene and her ilk are still figuring out how to wipe their own asses effectively.  No wonder Fox "News" picked her to make mental-defectives like Bill O'Reilly and Fucker Carlson look barely sentient.  Plus being an African-American who takes the Fox "News" money makes you the biggest fucking Tom in the known universe.

The Astros World Series Is Another Debasement Of American Democracy

Thanks, Trump.

Bern

Or Is Brianna Brochu Sure To Be The Next Mrs. Bill O'Reilly?

We know Brochu's into jamming toothbrushes up her own ass, so she can help the elderly Bill O'Reilly get that falafel up his ass!  Maybe she's a great actress and can pretend she's one of O'Reilly's favorite phone sex Indochinese ladyboys as she jams that nasty falafel up his hole.  MAGA!

Brianna Brochu Has A Real Future With The Last Month Or So Of The Trump Administration

VP? Jared's old job? Ivanka's job giving Trump handjobs?  Whatever, Brianna Brochu is just the sort of exceptional American patriot Trump needs about now.  She's perfect!

Even Trump's Man Tony Fabrizio Knows Sanders Would Have Won

Even this right-wing shitbird knows what neoliberal Hillary scum and black gossip kids refuse to acknowledge: Bernie Would Have Won!

Black Gossip Kids Are Their Own Worst Enemies

Jesus, I know, I know, I know that it is not fair to hold the black gossip kids to a higher standard than other clueless idiots in America, but gods fucking dammit, these ninnies are worse than Trumptards.  Any blahs who really and truly believe that Sanders is some sort of racist who doesn't believe working-class and lower-class minorities are "regular Americans" is some sort of truly idiotic fucker too stupid to be left running around loose.  Too many of the gossip kids, black gossip kids, and other blah-Americans are too stuck on the neoliberal Obama's neoliberal dick to figure out that Obama and Clinton will always be part of the problem.  That sucks because Sanders has been chugging away at this shit for like 30-40 years, and the folks who should have realized it by now have not been up to the task.  That sucks.  And it's how a fucking piece of garbage like Clinton loses to an orange shitgibbon like Trump when Bernie would have won and at least treated those same clueless morons like human beings.  Sadly, that's a step up.

Dodgers Win And Verlander Loses

The best possible outcome.  NeverAstros is the only thing a decent human can want out of baseball right now.