Friday, November 11, 2011
the passion of the newt
sleazy ole newt gingrich has to be in agony these days. he's been humping and pumping his bullshit for two generations, turning his failed career as an historian and teacher and his even more amazingly failed career as a congressman into an engine to fleece loose change from nursing home residents, paranoid fundamentalists and low-grade morons with his inane books, fake awards and unintelligible speeches. he's even pretending to run for president every four years in order to get free publicity, but now that's he's huffing and puffing himself into a waxy sweat this year on the campaing trail, he must be all kinds of pissed at the likes of herman cain, sarah palin and mike huckabee. those assholes have managed to steal most of newt's act recently but haven't had to work nearly as hard. cain played incompetent godfather to a failing pizza chain, scoped out some opp as a lobbyist in d.c. and did a few hours on local talk radio in his life; sarah palin used the national party credit card and bailed out on being governor of all 14 other people in alaska; huckabee barely punched the clock in arkansas state house and was able to become a fox news millionaire. each of those three fools have managed to eclipse newt's profile without much effort at all. on the other hand, newt has had to keep running his con non-stop for years and years with barely a chance to get some illicit pussy on the down-low. if he had been half the con-artist that cain, palin or huckabee have become, he coulda been relaxing in his ugly senescence with a huge staff and a multi-million payday from rupert murdoch. so as it turns out, newt's bullshit con-game is something else that is in fact an embarrassing failure.
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