Virag's Movie Reviews: Godzilla (2014)

Hmmm, a Godzilla movie with no Godzilla in it.  Well, that's an interesting tactical choice.  I mean, I didn't hate the flick, and it wasn't bad, but it was not really a Godzilla movie.  On screen, the film felt like a mashup of three odd choices.  The first was the Monarch backstory, with Godzilla in the Pacific and the nuclear attack against the monster.  Okay.  Maybe that was the movie they wanted to make, a period piece.  The second was the kaiju attack on Fukushima the nuke plant in Japan and the growing danger there.  Okay, but that movie was probably gonna be short, but maybe not, and that's where most of the actors were.  The third was Godzilla joining the US Navy to battle the absolutely not-Mothra kaiju.  THAT movie probably woulda  had some actual Godzilla content.  What we got though, was a sort of inexplicable story filled with generic humans nobody wanted to see in a Godzilla movie that the US had been fighting a nuclear war for the last 60 years against a giant monster who had actually caused no harm.  Despite that, the monster shows up when needed, most obviously does NOT fuck up and sink the entire Pacific fleet for funsies, and destroys the kaiju before they obliterate half of California and reproduce.  That doesn't make much sense as presented in the flick.  Was Godzilla supposed to be intelligent?  Why did this version of Godzilla look so much like a fat, ugly dog?  Where was Gipsy Danger?  Watching Godzilla, I found myself waiting for the jaegers to show up and start punching giant monsters in the face.