How Many More Things Did O'Reilly Not See?

Shit happened, but O'Reilly didn't see ANY of it!  Maybe the poor bastard is blind.  But he missed many of the biggest battles of the American Civil War.  He also was not really there sitting on the moon watching when the Apollo 11 landing happened.  Apparently he wasn't really there when the first humans left Africa.  I'm starting to believe that O'Reilly has never seen any fucking thing in his whole life.  I wonder who it was that knocked up his wife?