Glassic

Donald Trump Meets With Rinse Pubies

If there was anybody left in the universe who didn't see that Donald Trump was the king of the Republican Party, RNC chair Rinse Pubies and the rest of the supplicants were out on their knees in public today.  This has been a great year for everyone in the world except the GOP, and that means it's been the best year ever!

A Two-Meter Sea-Level Rise By 2100 Is The End Of The Fucking World

Pretty much no average citizens have any idea how fucked they would be.  It's fun for inane Republicans, shameless dumb-fuck teabaggers, vile Koch-suckers, and other demented assholes on Fox "News" to belittle the impact, but such a sea-level rise would be devastating to civilization and stability.  There's no chance climate change will destroy the planet, but there is an excellent chance climate change will make our technological civilization impossible to sustain.  Ooops.

Ummm...Black Hole. Duh.

That's exactly how Farscape started.  It's a black hole satellite, so I'm sure it went through a black hole and was off on an adventure on the other side of the galaxy and now is back.  Duh.

Brian De Palma's Scarface Will Always Be One Of The Greatest American Comedies

There's probably more laughs-per-minute and exceptional American scenery-chewing in Scarface than in any 10 other flicks.  Timeless, hilarious.  Utterly brilliant.

President For Life Trump Is Right: Punish The Sluts For Abortions

Abortion is murder and women are sluts: PUNISH THEM!  What sort of exceptional, jesus-fluffing American patriot doesn't think that women should be punished for being sluts?  It is the best of America, and President-for-Life Trump will make sure every slut in America gets exactly what she deserves.

Picking Through The Wreckage Of The GOP Is America's Most Satisfying Hobby

Sifting through the shards of bone and chunks of offal of what used to be called the Republican Party is easily the most fun any exceptional American can have in 2016.  And the fun is going to continue for years and years, even long after the glory of a conservative political party bleeding out on worldwide cable television.  Trump's gonna be remembered as perhaps the greatest hero in American history, both for his cold-blooded murder of a loathsome conservative political party and his delivery of the funnest fun ever.

Sick Dude

President-For-Life Trump Knows Nobody Gives A Shit About What Women Think

Future President Trump knows Corey Lewandowski is a good guy.  And he know nobody gives a fuck about pushing around some annoying woman like Michelle Fields.  Fields has no friends out there who matter to Donald Trump.  Kicking women is always good politics when you're a Republican.  Michelle Fields was so fucking stupid that she never knew that till just now.

So, Batman V Superman Is Bad, But Not Bad Enough To Be Fun

Or too boring to be fun, I guess.  That sucks.  A shorter, less insultingly inept but still gloriously awful flick could have been good and really, really dumb fun.  But no.  It had to long and mostly boring without enough insane atrocity to make it worthwhile.  Shit.

Scott Walker, Proven Loser, Endorses Another Loser

The loser parade lead by Ted Cruz continues.  These stupid fuckers had better hope President Trump doesn't hold a grudge or anything.

Obama Endorsed Wasserman-Schultz

And she's the fucking worst.  Rahm sucks major moose cock, too, and both of those assholes are Obama's people.  That tells you all you need to know about Obama, and explains exactly why Obama has failed so many times when it seemed he should have had no problem winning.  He didn't fail at all but was doing exactly what he thought was right.

At Least We Know What Ted Cruz Did Before The Senate

Helping jesus with the kids.  That's exactly what jesus needed, obviously.  Now it should be clear who jesus wants in the White House next.

Idiot's Delights Never End

Jesus.  Boston Latin is not fucking Exeter or Andover.  Or even better, St. Paul's or Groton.  And BB&N is always and forever a day school.  A day school in fucking Cambridge, but still a day school, so you cannot try to compare it to a top boarding school, or any boarding school at all, without looking like a fucking asshole.  Boarding schools are not the best for every student, but trying to compare Boston Latin or BB&N is the sort of inanity that dipshits waste their time on in order to make themselves feel better about the fact that their kids didn't go to Groton. 

Don't Forget To Be Careful Out There, Even If You're A Pro

It surprising this shit doesn't happen more often.  As cycling has gotten bigger and bigger, with more and better coverage, the space for the actual riders has gotten smaller.  Funny how that works.  At some point, riders will have to stand up for safety, and the UCI and national organizations will need to set the standards. 

Fisking Paul Krugman

Carry on.  Krugman is the heart of the Democratic establishment, and that establishment decided on Hillary Clinton long before the election even started.  It's no surprise that the famous Democrats have been solid for Hillary, but that doesn't mean everybody shouldn't be rubbing their noses in it.

Notre Dame North Carolina Pretty Much Demands A Sinkhole Directly To The Ninth Circle Of Hell

A yuge drop straight to hell for those horrible people.  Please, jeebus.  Any time now.

Mekons Syracuse Myth

Yeah, Syracuse, But Better Than Fucking Virginia

Syracuse can sorta hit free throws too.  Genius.  Good to see the slime from Virginia lose at anything, so good job Syracuse, if it had to be Syarcuse.  The Syracuse women got it done, too.

Villanova Can Shoot Free Throws

Shocked to see a bigtime team that can actually hit the fucking free throws with the game on the line!  Imagine that.  Terrible to see Villanova move on, but at least the shitshow that is Kansas and Sam Brownback and the rest of those dickheads was beaten.  What's the matter with Kansas?  They suck balls.  Fuck Kansas.

Oh Fuck, What Happened With Daan Myngheer

Heart attack on the road at the Criterium International?  Jesus.  22 years old.  Is this a tragic undiagnosed heart defect or a brave new era of fatal doping recalling the glory days of the Dutch EPO experiments?  The kid's not dead, but his condition is very serious.  This is a horrible situation all around.  Jesus.

Aaannd Now Oregon Proves They Suck As Hard As You Always Knew They Did

Losing to any organization from Oklahoma should be enough to shut down the team, school, and state of Oregon out of pure shame.  From most popular to utter shit in two days.  Nice going, you fucking fuckers.

Well, Batman V Superman Sounds Like It's Great

A triumph!  I can just hope to jesus fucking christ that the sorry fucking flick is bad enough to warrant multiple viewings on $5 day at the theatre.  Please, let this thing suck hard enough to be entertaining.  Not exactly hopeful, tho...

Birdie Sanders For President

This is the most fucking chill sparrow in North America.  Exceptionally chill sparrow.  Any bird that got that close to Trump would probably be poisoned by all the shit Trump puts in his hair.  If a bird got that close to Cruz, he'd feel-up the bird and then try to fuck it apparently--as long as his wife wasn't looking.

Where's birdsrightsactivist when you need him for veep?

Today Was A Very Good Friday For America And Donald Trump, Praise Be To Jesus

Not such a good day for Ted Cruz.  Now we know another reason why Trump was so eager to get everyone but Cruz out--Katrina Pierson has been Trump's secret weapon all along.  But Pierson was not a secret to Cruz, and how could he be dumb enough to walk right into Trump's tacky abattoir?  Fucking moron.  So now, Trump's got a narrative, and it is that Cruz is an ineligible Canadian, and oh, by the way, he's also a serial adulterer.  Buh-bye Cruz.  It was also a very good Friday for the media clowns.  Non-stop entertainment and shitting all over the vile Ted Cruz is exactly the funfetti our society desires.  Donald Trump is easily the finest blessing jesus has ever bestowed on exceptional America.

And The National Enquirer is America's finest and most exceptional news source.

Political Song for Ted Cruz to Sing on Weekends

I think this song is gonna be on the next Kidz Bop.

Def NSFW tho, especially if you work at some pretty shitty place with wretched garbage people like Ted Cruz.

Allen West Is One Ugly Motherfucker

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Tonight It Had To Be Oregon

To beat Duke.  Even though they're Oregon, that makes them the most popular basketball team in the world tonight.

Dats Where The Stargate Is, Mofos!

The true dweebs got their revenge in the comments.  Considering that Stargate SG-1 was on for like a hundred years, the Cheyenne Mountain Complex was seen most of the time as the HQ for the stargate when compared to any Terminator flicks or War Games.

All A's

Ted Rall Would Make An Excellent Press Secretary For President Trump

Good pay AND a front-row seat for the non-stop calamity that will be the Trump administration.  Rall would be perfectly placed and in possession of the ideal temperament to be the face of Trump and talk us through the most exceptional days of America ever.  Glorious President Trump shouldn't want a yes-man as his mouthpiece and should appreciate that Rall will be laughing all the way down the slope straight to hell.

Americans Are The Biggest Idiots In The World

I mean, they gotta be.  IBD is just the place the dipshit-Americans and teabagger-Americans and Koch-suckers and other assorted assholes go for all the most sciencey science.  Brilliant!  At some point, we are gonna have to send things like IBD and people like John Merline to live on their own islands far away in order to make the rest of us a bit smarter.

Alabama's Governor Sucks At Phone Sex

He's like a thousand years old--make him stop.  He sucks at that game.  Robert Bentley is yet another perfect family-values Republican creepster violating all the bullshit "morals" he pretends are oh so important, but he needs use sign language or something to make his girlfriend all wet and sticky so we don't have to listen to it.  Maddow was all over this shit show tonight, and it wasn't offensive at all, simply sad.  Very sad.  Funny.  But very sad.  And funny. 

Mitt Romney And Jeb! Bush And Ted Cruz

It's the loser parade!  Bringing out these loser idiots is not going to help Ted Cruz at all.  In fact, it's definitely hurting him.  Utah aside, Cruz is on the glorious glide path of epic failure, and will end 2016 having lost the presidency in comically inept way along with alienating every single politician in the USA who could actually help him further his career.  That's pretty fucking fun!

John Kasich Is Already Running As Trump's VP

Even the dumb bunnies at National Review have almost figured that out--and that's not nothing cuz those people are fucking idiots.  What John Kasich wants to do is keep himself visible while at the same time helping to prevent any surprises from Ted Cruz or whatever is left of the GOP establishment.  Kasich gets the double when he helps Trump and helps himself at the same time.  Kasich makes sense for Trump as well, being a sitting governor, sorta, and being from Ohio.  Even Kasich can see that without too much help, and you can be sure Trump sees it. 

Your Yearly Elite Boarding School Inanity

This and this.

Both of these lists were clearly compiled by people who had no knowledge of boarding schools.

If you have an endowment of $40,000 per student, you don't belong on any list with Groton or any of the Big-6.  Make the fucking list top 40 or top 30 if you have to scrape that far down into the bottom of the barrel. 

Hockaday is not a boarding school, nor is Milton, nor St. Alban's, nor Indian Springs.  If you have a 50/50 or worse boarding percentage, you're a day school.  These schools don't belong on the list, and neither do the other glorified day schools on the lists with a minority boarding percentage.  Fucking stupid.

Any list that has Emma Willard or Westover above Miss Porter's is fucking ridiculous.  Emma and Westover are good schools, but Miss Porter's is the best and most prestigious all-girls school out there by far.  And probably will be as long as there are still all-girls schools.

Any list with Andover or Exeter on the top is fucking useless.  Andover and Exeter are the only boarding schools any civilians can name.  The best school is probably St. Paul's, or maybe Groton if you want a very small school--unless you're a swimmer.  Then it's probably Hotchkiss, unless you want to do crew.  Then Deerfield.  Andover and Exeter are like Harvard and Yale, for better and worse, with plenty of opportunities and brand recognition.

Regardless, the traditional Big-5, Andover, Choate, Exeter, Hotchkiss, St. Paul's, now joined by Deerfield for an effective Big-6, are the best of the best for reasons beyond last year's test scores and college admissions, and people will pay a premium for those damn good reasons.  Lawrenceville and Northfield Mount Hermon play in that traditional sandbox with the Big-6 as well, and don't ever believe that doesn't count for something.  These peer schools are self-selecting, and they haven't self-selected any other schools in 40 fucking years.

Not Voting For Hillary Will Be 2016's Hottest Trend

Not gonna help & not gonna matter.  The fucking nightmare is that 2017's hottest trend will be shitting all over the horror show that is the Clinton administration part 2.

Hillary Clinton: Neocon Queen

Even yet still another reason some people aren't votin' for her.  There's nothing good about Clinton's position on Palestine.  In fact Clinton is wrong as anyone in the world.  Anyone who votes or has voted for Clinton over Sanders should be recognized an irredeemable stupid and evil motherfucker.

Compared To Real Terrorist Organizations Like The NRA And AIPAC, ISIS Is A Cub Scout Troup

Those fucking dirtballs in ISIS and all those other fundamentalist idiots are nothing when compared to real terrorists like the National Rife Association and the American Israel Public Affairs Committee.  Unlike ISIS, those true terrorists have the ability to destroy societies, obliterate nations, and ruin the lives of millions of innocent human beings all over the world.  ISIS would give their left nuts to be as evil and insane and destructive as the NRA and AIPAC.

In Trump's World, Rob Ford Was Redundant

Now that we got Donald Trump, we didn't need goofy old Rob Ford anymore.  Such is the life and death of nasty right wing ass clown.

Miserable Fat Belgian Bastards Explode

Fuck ISIS, I'd look to the Limey scumbags first.  ISIS probably had little or nothing to do with this beyond taking the Donald Trump-esque credit for the shitty fucking thing.  The fucking Brits, though, those assholes could easily have done this.  Everyone knows they can't be trusted.


miserable fat belgian bastards from Steve Farrell on Vimeo.

But This Cuba Shit, That Is An Unequivocal Major Win For Obama And His Legacy

Big fucking deal for America and a big fucking deal for Cuba.  Obama's done well with this, and it will go down as one of the true triumphs of his presidency.  Even better, it drives the shithead Republicans, rancid teabagging fuckwits, and asshole Cuban Americans fucking apoplectic--that might be the best part of all.  The US plays nice with Saudi Arabia and China and Great Britain and Kuwait and almost all the rest of the shittiest places on this fucking planet, so it is about time we spread the love to our neighborly Cuban brothers and sisters.  Obama has shown true leadership and deserves the credit.  Opening relations with Cuba should have been done long ago, but Obama took the initiative where others failed.  Good shit.  Props to El Presidente Barry Soetoro Barack HUSSEIN Obama.

Update: Sometimes Obama is pretty fucking cool.  Heh, indeedy.  No fucks left to give.  And conservatives are so fucking stupid that they defy comedy.

This Is At Least Gives Some Small Hope Obama Will Win The Merrick Garland Game

This idiot.  Welfare academia is wrong, often wrong about things, so this is a fainty faint glimmer.  Obama's big loss right at the end on Garland, if it is indeed a loss, will be a big black mark on Obama's legacy.  But when Scott Lemieux says you will lose, that means maybe you won't, so light a frakking candle and hope for a surprise win by Obama, a win that will very likely be the final nail in the coffin of the GOP.

Elizabeth Warren Kicks President Trump Where It Hurts

The only problem is that Clinton would never be able to pull this off.  Clinton will need a VP candidate who can troll Trump with elan.  That won't be Warren, but this is the model of how to defeat Trump easily at his own game.  Are the Clinton people paying attention? 

Virag's Movie Reviews: Ant-Man (2015)

Good movie.  Good enough, anyway.  Was it the idiot little brother of Iron Man?  Sure.  Was it yet another remarkably predictable Marvel flick with a mirror-image villain?  You bet.  It was entertaining though, watchable.  Paul Rudd has gotten less annoying as he's aged, and Michael Douglas was up to the meager requirements of his Hank Pym.  Ant-Man did what it needed to do and was at least as useful as the first Captain America and the Thor movies. 

Something Useful On The Serotta Forum

The thread regarding this frame.  It's nice that Richard Sachs wants to defend the builder, but a close inspection of such a frame by a frame builder with a lesser reputation than Sachs, especially in that color, makes the joinery look pretty half-assed.  Could a builder like RS get away with it?  Sure.  Does it do the up-and-comer any good to have this garbage out there?  Nope.  The frame looks like a home-build, not a pro-build.

This Is How You Get Alan Grayson, ATMO

Alan Grayson, not your average bear in the Congress--and the "liberals" who get all huffy about Grayson are almost always hypocrites or ass clowns.  Grayson, like Sanders, is a successful, career politician, and expecting him to be anything other than that is naive bordering on insane.  The question for Geoff Dutton and everyone else is whether Grayson represents something beyond that usual successful career politician.  Dutton says yes.  And he is right.  Grayson is far from perfect, but compared to the rest of the Congress and especially his primary opponent, the indefensible neo-con sack of shit Patrick Murphy, Grayson is a revelation. 

If Ted Cruz Is The Lead Singer Of Stryper, Donald Trump Must Be The Lead Singer Of Steel Panther

Donald Trump and Steel Panther will make America so very white again.  There's nothing whiter than a sickly sweet parody of shitty hair metal, and Donald Trump knows it!

Political Song for The Republican Party to Sing

The Republican Party Wishes The Lead Singer Of Stryper Was Running Instead Of Ted Cruz

Michael Sweet would have had a better chance of getting the Republican nomination than Ted Cruz ever did.  Sweet is a yuge christian wackjob but not nearly as replusive as Cruz.  Plus the 1980s poodle-hair wig is way more attractive than anything Ted Cruz could possibly manage on his best day.

Can Yale Get It Done Against Duke?

Can Yale do it for Gucci?  Can Yale be the most popular college basketball team in the world today?

Doesn't look like it so far...

Did You Really Need To Read The Execrable Ayn Rand To Learn Everyone Has Wants And Needs?

Really?  Cuz that leads me to think that maybe you never read anything OTHER than Ayn Rand's dreadful tripe.  Pretty much any decent novel will portray characters who are conflicted but not evil, who have desires and goals but who are not shallow as a puddle and dumb as fucking rocks.  Kids can be stupid, but if you're gonna be lame enough to waste time reading Ayn Rand, drop your dick for a minute and get to the fucking library or something.  Jesus.

Will Obama Win The Merrick Garland Game?

President Obama is very fortunate that his enemies are the hilariously incompetent and comically evil GOP, but a bit too much of Obama's legacy now rests on this nomination.  Obama's banking on the continued failure of the Republicans in Congress to accomplish anything beyond risible fuck-ups, but if those dipshits somehow win this one right at the end, Obama will look like a buffoon exactly as the book is closed on his tenure.  That's a tough one.  So far, Obama is seeing the wall of GOP obstruction crack but only superficially.  For now the foundation of unconstitutional incompetence holds strong for the Republicans. 

Bernie Is Still A Senator, Still A Politician

And there's no way he's not going to endorse the Democratic nominee, even though that nominee will be Hillary Clinton.  Sanders could have run as a third-party candidate.  But when he ran as a Dem, that should have told you all you need to know about where he would finish his campaign.  Not to say that Sanders would not be a better President than Clinton in every way, but Sanders knew going in that Clinton would most likely be the nominee no matter how well he ran.  Nothing has changed.  Clinton is no better and no worse than when she started, and Sanders decided to run in her party.  Dave Lindorff should probably know that by now, x-specially after watching Obama for the last seven years.

Lee Papa Gets Down & Dirty With The Hot & Horny GOP

The Republican Party is not so much a hate-fuck orgy as much as it is a hate circle jerk.  Not a one of them has any idea what to do, so the party will do what it always does: get in line and follow their leader.  Unfortunately for them, that leader is Donald J. Trump.

Racist Fuckstains Of The Day, Today

As seen on Fox "News" last night.  Hannity was fluffing these pathetic losers on his tee vee show, and it was every bit as sad as you would expect.  There's nothing too special about these guys, as they are exactly the nasty, little, stupid creepsters they seem to be. 

Drink Up, You Feckin Feckers

Slainte!

Now We Are Truly In The Dark Days Of 2016

Trump's committed genocide on the Republican Party and disemboweled Fox "News"--that was way fun, but that good shit is ended.  Now all that's left for us is the actual Trump campaign, and that's fucking awful in every fucking way.  Plus the gloom of the shit show that is the oncoming Hillary Clinton presidency is just going to become more smothering every gods-damned day.  There will be no fun left in the campaign, no entertainment, no hope for sublime amusement.  It's all racist fucksticks and humiliating Clinton mini-disasters from here on out.  We had joy.  We had it all.  It was lovely.  Today everything is fucking black.  Reality is going to get more depressing every day.

Today Donald Trump Killed Fox "News" For Fun

You won't hear about it on Fox "News", but Trump decided to put the whole channel out of its misery today.  He did it because he could.  For fun.  Fox "News" used to rule over Republicans but no more.  Trump knew he could obliterate them, and he did.  Thanks, Trump.

Jill Stein Is Running For President

Some people will always be better than the usual Democratic Party idiots, and for those good folks, Jill Stein.  Not every Dem will vote for Hillary, even if every single Republican will follow the leader and vote for Trump.  For those Dems who are too smart for another Clinton, Jill Stein.  If you want to vote for someone who doesn't suck in almost every possible way, Jill Stein.  Hillary's gonna win in November, but you don't have to vote for her if you don't want to.  You can vote for Jill Stein.  That way you'll be able to live with yourself for a while.

Charlie Gasparino Might Be The Dumbest TV Republican In America

Gasparino is on Fox Business squeaking incoherently about how Trump is not going to be the Republican nominee and "they" will stop him.  Even the other stupid motherfuckers on that channel can see that Trump is already the Republican nominee, and if it's not Trump then the Republicans will not be running a candidate in 2016.  When you stand out as a noticeably bigger idiot than the usual Fox Business crew of Neil Cavuto, Lou Dobbs, Trish Regan, and Maria Bartiromo, that is quite a fucking accomplishment.  Nice going, Gasparino!  You're a bigger fucking moron than even Eric Bolling!

How Big Of An Asshole Do You Have To Be To Realize Hillary Sucks On 15 March, 2016?

Jesus fucking christ, what a maroon.  Seriously, welfare academia is making everyone stupider, not just the sad students trapped at those shitty colleges.

Why Is This Idiot Kasich Pretending That Winning Ohio Is Anything Other Than A Bare Minimum For An Epic Loser?

Though, as the votes come in, his lead is shrinking.  It won't be enough for Trump to take Ohio, but John Kasich is now the biggest loser in this race.  John Kasich's not winning anything in 2016 other than his own state by probably less than 5%, and that is an embarrassment by any measure.

Now We Say Goodbye To Marco Rubio, The Most Entertainingly Pathetic Loser In American Political History

Rubio has always sucked titanic moose cock, and anyone actually paying attention knew his presidential campaign would never get traction anywhere in our blighted land.  But my gods, Rubio has been even more hilariously inept than even I would have ever believed.  Make no mistake, Rubio is loathsome conservative cocksucker, but his astounding incompetence as a candidate has overwhelmed his frightening ignorance and black-hearted evil.  So, now we say bye-bye to risible dullard, fatuous shitstain, religious maniac, and bathetic assclown Marco Rubio, a man stupid enough to give up his Senate seat in a hopeless bid for the Republican nomination, hoping for ourselves and our children we never have to hear from him again in our gods-damned America.  Fuck off and die, loser.  Nobody ever liked you.  You are a fucking disgrace.

The Boring Anti-Climax Of Trump's Stunning Victory

Even Fox Business is having trouble ginning up any of their usual squealing insanity over tonight's election results.  Trump's beaten them.  He's crushed their spirits.  Whether Trump wins Ohio or loses Ohio, he has had the nomination locked up for a couple of weeks now; Sam Wang's is way overthinking this shit.  The anti-Trump vote was gelded long ago, and there was never any chance of a brokered convention because it is not in the utterly unimaginative nature of the Republican mindset.  The hopeless authoritarian idiots in the Republican Party were always going to fall in line behind Trump and his vulgar army of supporters.  Tonight all this is sad theater. 

Political Song for Obama's Mojito to Sing

Trump Campaign Armbands Are The Future!

So stylish!  Official Trump armbands would go great with any brown shirt, and even look good on the tee vee!  Trump armbands are what American needs!

Yeah, But...Jesus, You Guys Are Dimwits

Fuckin' welfare academia is dim as fuck.

The thing they're missing about Trump v Cruz, or "What Would Suck Less" is that Trump has ABSOLUTELY NO political connection with the Republican OR Democratic establishments.  Trump will not be able to function within the establishment political process in any way.

IF the Republicans unite behind Cruz, Cruz WILL have at least a little stick with the party, making a potential Cruz administration's violent conservative inanity worse than Trump's insane incompetence due to assistance of the Republicans and compliance of spineless, hopeless Democrats.

Where a President Trump could be very fucking scary would be with an aroused and inflamed well-lubricated white racist army at his command to fuck with the day-to-day American life because President Trump has been unable to bend the American political establishment to his demented will.

But that would be so much more entertaining on the tee vee.  How could anyone not wish for a deranged Trump presidency?  Even strivers like entry-level Democratic establishment pissboys trapped in a threadbare welfare academia sinecure?

Rock Lobster #2 From 1984

Jesus.  32 year old mountain bike.  Times change.  Thank the gods.  Cool shit, though.

Read Good

Fun.  Reading is good for you.

Political Song for Nancy Reagan's Corpse to Sing

There's A Reason Why Trump Wants Cruz

He's going to get him disqualified.  Trump wants the one-on-one with Cruz because Trump sincerely believes Ted Cruz will be legally disqualified from running.  Trump's a wily little fucker, but he is not subtle.  If Trump wants Cruz, it is because he's already beaten him.  This should not be a surprise to anyone.  Donald J. Trump, Sooper Genius.  (What does that say about Cruz?)

Victor Davis Hanson: Exceptional American Idiot

If you ever wonder why every time the Republicans try to do anything, they fuck it up so astoundingly: the answer is Victor Davis Hanson and the phalanx of petty-minded proto-fascist twits just like him providing the "intellectual" leadership--into the fucking ditch.  Dipshits like Hanson are fatuous assholes, and we are right to laugh at their insanity, but they're also a cancer on the sphincter of humanity killing all of us.

Ben Carson Is Not Just An Uncle Tom

He's Trump's Uncle Tom!  That's fucking sweet.  Nice job.  Asshole.

Seriously, You're Def Not Yale Material

Yale's not for you. Or Harvard.  Yale and Harvard and all the rest are only for the few, the very few, and those folks aren't you.  Or me.  Or statistically, they don't exist.  Except they do.  And if Yale or Harvard let five or 10 percent of each class be the truly intelligent, intellectual students and not just more of the mundane spawn of the 0.1% who can write a check, well, be happy for that you shitheel peasant bastard.  It's more than they used to do.

Every Time A Nitwit Conservative Man Gets Hissy About Abortion Rights And 1000 Democrats Don't Get Elected To Something

That screams what fucking garbage people Democrats are.  Fucking creepy loser Brent Bozell gets his empty head full of even yet still more bullshit about scary womens, yet the Democrats can't turn this into electoral gold.  Almost makes you think that the Democratic Party has more in common with the Republicans and shitheads like Bozell than some people would like to admit.

Trump Shouldn't Go Around Cancelling Rallies--He Should Get Some Brown Shirts

Brownshirts make rallies go very smoothly.  Trump Brand Brownshirts are the exceptional brown shirts America needs.  Get yours today!

(Trump Brand long knives, coming in late 2017, sold separately.)

If Any Gods Were Real, They Woulda Dropped An Asteroid Onto The Nancy Reagan Funeral

What a fucking embarrassment to humanity.  Any god who loved us so fucking much woulda smoted that fucking shit show but good.  With a giant, fiery rock from deep space!

Prep School Freakout Day

Today's the day when the Big-6 boarding schools, Andover, Choate, Deerfield, Exeter, Hotchkiss, St. Paul's, along with many of the hangers-on, hand out their acceptances.  Plenty of kids and families with great news, plenty without.  Nothing like playing in the 0.1% sandbox, boys and girls.

Tellin Tails

Is It Wrong To Hope For A Head Shot Next Time?

Or possibly an asteroid impact wiping out Florida?  Does that make me a bad person?  We can hope for the loves of jesus and all the rest of the fictitious, blind idiot gods out there to make sure that every one of the exceptional American vile guntard cocksuckers running around loose gets killed by their own guns by next Tuesday so that America can finally evolve beyond rancid violent insanity.  Rock on, jesus.  Rock the fuck on.

Thank The Gods For Michael Savage!

He'll bring Obama to justice for killing Scalia!!  Michael Savage is what a true Exceptional American Patriot looks like!

Hillary Clinton Will Not Have An Easy Time After She Gets The Nomination

Won't have an easy time with some of the Dems and some of the others voting for Sanders in the primaries.  The Establishment will work as hard as necessary to get Hillary Clinton into the White House--she's been their choice for the last four years.  Some of the folks are not going to smile all the while, though.  Some of that resistance, some of that discomfort might manifest itself as constructive, supportive criticism to make Hillary a better president, but some of it will be good, decent people who can't fucking stand her and saw the shit show she'll be in office even before this campaign began in earnest.

And Hawaii Succumbs To Trump's Yuge Charms

A great night for Marco Rubio!  I'd imagine that once Trump gets Rubio and Kasich out of the race he will drop the Canada bomb on Cruz.  That will be a fine time for all at the ole hoedown.

Donald Trump Is Just Fucking With The Republican Party Now

After his wild rampage tonight, Trump decided to whip out his yuge dick and hit everyone in sight right across the face with the scabrous noodle on wordwide cable tee vee.  Trump gives no fucks at all now--he knows he's their king, and he will make every single one of those motherfuckers eat his shit with a smile on their faces.  He owns them.  They'll feast on rancid steak and drown their nightmares with mouldy wine on the days Trump does not bless them with yet another yuge Trumpshit sandwich, but be it Trump shit or Trump steaks, the Republican Party will chow it down greedily till they choke to death on it. 

Every Fucking Genius Supports Trump

Paul O'Neill.  Fucking brilliant.

Fox Business Has Been The Most Consistently Insane And Consistently Entertaining Election Coverage This Year

Fox Business runs out fuckheads like Neil Cavuto in place of the simpering morons of Fox "News".  Plus the business channel has Lou Dobbs frothing like a rabid pet molester snarling after Mitt Romney and clawing crazily at the likes of Charlie Gasparino and the other anti-Trump mouthpieces on set, while Lisa "Kennedy" Montgomery squeaks out some nonsensical word-salad during the quieter times.  This is pretty fucking frightening but it is also wonderfully entertaining.  Fox Business should be credited for delivering the most glorious inanity per hour during this 2016 election season.

Breaking! Keith Olbermann Doesn't Like Trump!

No shit.  I mean, it's not a shock.  President Trump ain't gonna care what Olbermann says, but President Trump might do well to have Keith Olbermann as his Press Secretary. 

Trump Wins Michigan! Will Rubio Come In Behind Carson?

Michigan, the land that time forgot.  And American doesn't give a shit about.  But they love Trump, so the opprobrium is richly deserved.  Nice going, assholes.  But at least Rubio keeps losing in the most hilariously pathetic fashion imaginable.

Trump Wins Again! Rubio Loses Again!!

Mississippi is a fucking hellhole.  When the least embarrassing and shitty thing to come from your state is Brett Favre, you know you are truly hell's fucking toilet.  Mississippi sucks Nancy Reagan style, too!

Not EVERY Sanders Voter Is Voting For Hillary In The General

Yes, many will, but not nearly all.  For many good and decent Americans, voting for another Clinton is a bridge too far.  Fuck, for more than a few rock-ribbed DEMOCRATS, voting for another Clinton is never going to fucking happen.  The Clintons are just too nasty for those great Americans, and that's okay.  In fact, those Americans are the best Americans, and it is our enduring shame that there are not MORE of them, enough to defeat Clinton in the primaries and get a sensible, pragmatic centrist like Bernie Sanders into the White House. 

None of it is going to matter though, because those Dems will vote for Hillary, and that will be more than enough.  Hillary is gonna suck Nancy Reagan-style, but that's that.

Really Fucking Nasty Morons Are Destroying Our Species

Stupid or evil?  Guess what, you CAN have both!  At some point the entirety of humanity will lose the ability to overcome the tsunami of evil and outright stupidity infecting our species.  These anti-science fuckstains are killing everyone and every thing and need to be stopped. 

Ted Cruz And National Review Starring In The Corrections

Yeah, oops.  It would be hard to decide who sucks moose cock harder, Nancy Reagan-style, National Review or Ted Cruz.

Townies

Exceptional American Racist Republican Trump Voters

Fine, fine lads, who couldn't flicker a 1/2-watt bulb if their lives depended on it.  But these great American patriots are out there supporting Trump every fucking day.  Welcome to hell.

Michael Bloomberg: Exceptional American Asshole

Bloomberg is a jerk-off's jerk-off.  Exactly the last thing the USA needed was another shitheaded billionaire masturbating in public.  Bloomberg is a fucking menace, but at least he's also a coward, so we won't have to spend any of our precious time laughing at his feckless presidential campaign.

Just How Much Cock Did Nancy Davis Reagan Suck?

Truly her only good quality.  But in exceptional America shouldn't we be celebrating Nancy Davis Reagan for her exceptional cock sucking skills?  Everything else about that vile harpy was utterly disgusting.

Wait, Elizabeth Warren Is A Senator?

Who knew?  I think Mr. Lindorff might have overestimated the extent to which Elizabeth Warren is anything other than a US Senator.  Could she have endorsed Sanders?  Sure.  Would that have helped him win in Mass.?  Maybe.  Might that have derailed Clinton?  Probably not.  Are Senators in the business of standing on principle and possibly pissing off the next President?  Not on this planet, Dave.

Ed Schultz And The Russians

When the best of the cable tee vee news channels goes out of business, and Ed Schultz goes on with the Russians, it makes you wonder what the fucking fuck is going on with our glorious rock-ribbed conservative establishment media in this fucking country.  It kinds makes you think that maybe, just maybe the fellers on the tee vee don't have the best interest of the majority of Americans in mind when they report their news.  It is an election year and all.

The Real Nancy Reagan

This is the real Nancy Reagan, and the only thing she should be remembered for.  The rest of Nancy Reagan's existence was a crime against everything decent in humanity. 

Begin The Begin

Nancy Reagan And Peyton Manning: Two Garbage People Nobody Should Give A Flying Fuck About

Nancy Reagan was a hateful imbecile married to brain-dead potted plant, and Peyton Manning is a horrible walking fuckstick.  Nobody on Earth should give a fuck whether these motherfuckers live or die or how or when. 

Rubio's Mortifying Failure In This Campaign Is The Second-Most Heartwarming Part Of The Whole Thing

Yes, watching Trump cut the defenceless Republican Party into quivering bloody chunks of viscera is more fucking pleasing than anything else could ever possibly be, but seeing Rubio fall down like a hopeless, helpless buffoon over and over is pretty fucking great, too, because there is also something ugly and truly horrible at Rubio's core.  That fatuous idiot became the hope of the establishment, and he let them down in the most public and most embarrassing way conceivable. 

This Choate V Loomis Thing Is Dumb Enough To Be On The Serotta Forum

Of course, DCUM pretty much is the fucking Serotta Forum, at least as far as levels of clueless, overprivileged fucktardery is concerned.  The kicker of this nonsense though, after the fools had pretty much agreed that Choate is in an entirely different universe than Loomis Chaffee--it is as LC is an overgrown day school compared to Choate which is one of the Big-5 prep schools (now Big-6 with the addition of all that Koch-sucking money to Deerfield)--is this fucking slice of prime, shit-reeking insanity in the last post, which might be the dumbest thing ever posted on the internets, including Fox "News" and every other conservative website AND the Serotta Forum:

Loomis is phenomenal. Incredible faculty, perfect campus, great location, athletics are second to none, kids place as well as any other NE Prep School (St. Pauls, Andover, Exeter). And the kids there are very well balanced. Loomis really is already superior to Choate and widening the gap every year.  

Positive Bleeding

Watching The Republican Party Bleed Out Is The Best Thing Ever

The Republican Party is groaning and suffering and bleeding out while we watch, in paroxysms of bloody agony that are the real proof of all the gods' love.  But in reality this is all Trump's doing; our children will owe that vomitous shitbird a great debt. 

CPAC 2016 Is The Hilarious Disaster The Republicans Deserve

Donald Trump skullfucked CPAC just for fun this year.  Trump is a terrorist, but his only victims will be the men who made their livings off the Republican Party.  Trump running down CPAC like a three-legged possum caught in his headlights on some crumbling back road in Georgia was just a fun thing he did because it was easy.  Now all those shitheel Trump voters have been shown that CPAC is another one of those shithead establishment clown shows they can ignore forever.

It's Good 2 B

Is Wussy Christgau's Reason?

Christgau's very rarely vital or original, but is Wussy the reason he was born, the reason he worked as a critic?  Certainly the one place where the best argument could be made for the vital cruciality of Robert Christgau is Wussy.  Christgau's been on the Wussy bandwagon for fucking ever--getting word out and lending what passes for his critical judgement and credibility to the band--and maybe that's been his true mission of his life all along.  Nothing wrong with that.  It's more useful for humanity than what many have done or will do.  Better than you, anyway.

Trump Will Be Remembered As The Most Exceptional Of Americans

At their core, Republicans are gutless followers--and they will follow Donald Trump into the abyss, taking their party with them.  For all the nervous braying we are seeing right now, there's no way more than a handful of Republicans will have the balls to defy their masters, and this year will be the end of the Republican Party.  After the historic electoral implosion this November, we will be left with probably three distinct pygmy parties in place of the Republican Party, none of which will ever be a force in national politics again: the vulgar racists of the Trump Party; the most flagrantly ignorant closet-cases in the Teabagger Party; and the diseased rump of the unrepentant, unreconstructed former Republican establishment.  Much of the former Republican establishment, along with the more reasonable of their voters, will move to their true home in the Democratic Party because that establishment will not want to give up their influence.  The best possible next step would be a formation of a new major party in opposition to the Democrats, taking the place on the center-left where the USA has never really had a major political party except possibly for a few minutes during the beginnings of the FDR administration.

This political evolution will be phenomenal for the USA, and it will all be due to Donald Trump.  Eventually, when the crazed racist violence of his life is faded and dimmed by time, Trump will be seen as a hero because he finally vanquished one of the world's worst, most dangerous political movements in human history, the Republican Party.

What Are The Chances That Donald Trump Holds Grudges?

After the pissants finally run out of enthusiasm, wind down their failed campaigns, and fall into line behind their jefe, Herr Trump, do you think Trump will make them pay for their lack of respect?  Is Trump the magnanimous winner, the graceful, forgiving leader, or is he a cruel, spiteful narcissist with a vicious mean streak and a memory like an elephant?  I wonder.

The Answer Is No, Or Only A Fool Believes Trump Is So Much Worse Than Cruz Or Rubio Or

Kasich or Bush or Clinton or Clinton or Bush...

It's nice the insider wannabes want to minimize the venality and absolute evil of the rest of the Republican Party and their candidates all over the country.  Trump's tactless and deranged but less political and polished, so this somehow makes him worse than the violent racists and feckless race-baiters who have been thriving in the Republican Party since 64?  That's fucking genius.  In the end, it's the exact comically shallow analysis you would expect from a below-entry-level conniver.  But since it has the effect of justifying the establishment, you can be sure Campos is not merely being a fucking dipshit.

Please Jesus, Let Us Have Mittens As The Futile Anti-Trump

Mittens Romney, a failed son, a certified loser, a clueless hypocrite, a repugnant shitstain, is the perfectly risible fatuous asswhipe to fail to stop the Trump kaiju rampage.  The rank and file Republican voters hate Romney, and nobody would have less of a chance to derail the Trump express.  But oh fuck it will be all kinds of fun to watch, so please, jesus, do us a solid just this once you fucking asshole.  Give us the Mittens so we can watch Trump wipe his ass with him right there at the convention. 

And Now The Dead Republican Party Calls To A Zombie Loser Mitt Romney

Today the best the Republicans could do was wheel out a proven, certified loser Mitt Romney to attack the new Republican god Donald Trump.  That's pretty fucking beautiful.  Even if Trump doesn't get one additional vote this year, he's killed the loathsome creature that was once known as the Republican Party.

Political Song for Mitt Romney to Sing

Ben Carson, Exceptional American Grifter, Packs Up The Medicine Show

Carson is taking his snake oil grift back home, finally giving up the scam.  Sad for Carson, good for everyone else.  Go fuck yourself, Carson.  You're a loathsome toad.

The Exceptional American Patriots And The Trump Ascendancy

Trump Is Not Worse Than Cruz Or Rubio Or Kasich--Now It Can Be Told

Now that Trump has pounded the lumber into the heart of the Republican Party, the rest of the USA has to acknowledge that Donald Trump is a fucking walking marmalade douchenozzle and vulgar narcissist, but Donald Trump is no worse than Cruz, Rubio, and Kasich.  Cruz is an unctuous religious psychotic, a personification of all the shit squeezed into every sewer in Texas.  Rubio is an empty-headed tool who was dumb enough to quit his Senate seat while still in his 40s in order to lose the presidential primary contest in the most hilarious fashion since Rudy Giuliani, as well as being a loathsome teabagging creep.  Kasich is repulsive Bill O'Reilly-wannabe and arch-conservative cocksucker.  Trump sucks, but he sucks exactly the way the rest of the candidates suck.  President Trump is almost guaranteed to be better, or at least no worse, in the office than Cruz or Rubio or Kasich would have been. 

Ted Cruz Thanks Jeebus For Marco Rubio So Nobody Will Say Cruz Is The Biggest Loser In The Republican Party

Cruz is a repugnant, rancid walking shitstain, but he did win two more primaries than I thought he would.  Unfortunately for that fuckbrain Cruz, he couldn't do well enough in his home state to deny Trump a yuge chunk of the Texas delegates.  This is the end for Cruz, the most repellent Republican in the USA.  That's not nothing!

Hillary Clinton Is Ready To Disappoint

Underwhelming and sad will define the second Clinton presidency for all the decent, sane Americans out there hoping for something at least a bit better.  This is your establishment Democratic Party at work.  Imagine if the USA had an actual center-left or left-wing political party to counteract the reactionary inanity of the Dems and the Republicans--or if the Dems moved leftward to the center, toward a useful, pragmatic, proven, problem-solving agenda for the nation and the world.  Not this year, chief.

Trump Wins Virginia & Marco Rubio Is The Biggest Loser In Presidential Politics In The Last 50 Years

Rubio is a such a fucking loser he makes Huckabee and Santorum and all the rest of the teabagging nimrods and racist cocksuckers look like George Fucking Washington.  Loser loser loser.  And Marco Rubio is the jerkoff that establishment chose to take down Trump.  Heh, indeedy.

Even If Trump Loses Half The States Tonight, He's Destroyed The Republican Party

Super Tuesday is a bloodbath for establishment Republicans.  Trump's damage has already killed the party.  At 7:30 EST, the tee vee outlets are trying to make a few of these races appear competitive, but all you have to see is the disarray on the Republican side to know that win or lose, Trump's won the prize of wrecking what until tonight was referred to as the Republican Party.  No Republican has any clue how to save their asses, and the final insult will come if some mainstream Republican asshole is forced to run on a third-party ticket in a vain attempt to stop Trump.  Glory be to all the fucking gods for they love us so much they gave us this entertainment to bring us joy.

Trump's Campaign Theme Song Is #1 With A Bullet