This, Too, Is Pop, Yeah Yeah

El Oh El Ay

Atrios Hearts Lola

I have this conversation with my kid occasionally when the song is on.  It's a catchy song, but the lyrics are not opaque if preteens are like, "Wait, what?".  The song is happy and non-judgemental--the world is fucked and the narrator may or may not be able to cross that line, but Lola is perfect and just as she should be.  That's fucking transgressive for ignorant suburban white teenage boys with knee-jerk homophobia as a default setting.  "Lola" is a comedy, but it's a tender and honest one, kind, respectful, wistful, not cruel at all. 

Brave Irishmen Fighting Fascism

These men were real heroes.  They were fighting evil.  They weren't killing innocent and helpless poor people to maintain the American empire.  These Irishmen are worthy heroes.

The Fades

Andover And Choate's Rick Lyman Was The Perfect 20th Century Underage Herpes Delivery Device

Rick Lyman, a sensitive, thoughtful man.  Or a skeevy cockbag abuser.  You know, the pool, the pond.  Lyman was a fucking Johnny Appleseed for herpes, though.  He spread that shit to high school girls far and wide with a smile--and sores, apparently--on his stupid fucking face.  Thanks, Trump.

St. Paul's Goes All-In On The Teacher Abuse Report Gig

St. Paul's will always one-up Choate!  They named their own names, hired their own investigators, and put it all in a pdf because who doesn't like a little light reading.  Every school should do this.  Fun!  Educational!  Lucrative!

Heartland Values

Glenn Danzig: A Glorious Numbskull Of Trumpian Proportions

Rocket meet scientist.  I guess it's good that Danzig's music wasn't the dumbest thing about him.  Or bad.  Something.

Sun N Fun

Sean Hannity's Been Fuckin' Trump'd Too

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Trump Is Wishing He Had Subway Jared Instead About Now

That fat pedophile sack of shit would be less embarrassing than Jared Kushner for Trump at this point.  Kushner is too stupid to live even when compared to the mental-defectives in the Trump family, so all we can do is thank jesus fucking christ who we love so much for providing us with this wondrous funfetti.  What Trump has done to the political establishment in this country is the most wonderful thing that any of could have ever hoped for.  Thanks, Trump!

Vicious Fisking Of A Fuckbrained Gossip Kid Fraud

Terrell J Starr gets obliterated on Twitter, mostly because he is an airhead journalist and risible fraud who is too stupid to know how Twitter works.  That is some major pwnage right there.  Fucking lovely.

Policy

Tom Dumoulin Wins! No Shit!

Good for him.  Dumoulin knows how to win and shit in Italy.  All jokes aside, it's a world-class victory for him.

Brilliant Editorial By Nick Dearden On The Theft Of Africa's Wealth

Yes, excellent. Keep going.  500+ years of highly organized theft and brutality have taken a toll on a continent teeming with riches.  Dearden is quite tastefully restrained, but the point is well-made.  Kudos to Al Jazeera for putting this out there when any American news organizations would have been far too cowardly. 

Seriously, Where Did Billmon Go?

Freaked out about Trump and disappeared.  We have to assume Billmon is dead but that the person behind Billmon is still out there somewhere...

In Explicable

This Boarding School Father Is Really Fucking Creepy

This post is legendary on the twit homestead of College Confidential, and the purported seven father sounds sincere, but as you read through it you realize he's an entitled creep.  First off, thinking that Groton school is somehow tainted because a kid couldn't handle it is fucking stupid.  Believing that St. Paul's does not share your family values--but DuPont vanity school St. Andrew's does--probably means your family values are icky and gross.  The only decent people, or should I say best people on that forum, are the ones who don't give their opinions so much as try to get the twits to think for themselves.  A few scamps who like to stir the shit and rub the noses of the simpering, sanctimonious, over-privileged twatwaffles on that board in their own idiocy are also cool in my book.  Rock on, sisters and brothers!

John's Boehner: Mee-Oww!

John's rock-hard reactionary little Boehner is also a total bitch.  As funny as this shit-talking is, essentially no one is talking about just how unusual it is that someone of Boehner's stature in the Republican Party would go after a new GOP president so fucking hard.  Clearly there is a segment of the GOP which has decided Trump is not worth the effort any longer if that lush Boehner is willing to drag his drunken ass away from the bar long enough to go shit on Trump in public like that.  Fun times.  Thanks, Trump!

Another Glorious Victory For Second Amendment Patriots In The Struggle Against Children

Those brave young NRA poster-children who stood their ground against dangerous six year old Kingston Frazier must really love the Constitution.  They knew that it was most important to exercise their rights to be murderous shitstains because FREEDUMB is always under assault in America.  Six year old children are often the enemy of freedumb, obviously, so thank the gods that well-armed psychopaths are out there to exercise their constitutional rights all over them.  Fuck Yeah!

Donald Trump Is Worthless And Weak In His Medicare Scooter

Sad.  Pathetic.  Exceptionally pathetic.  This fucking senile lard-ass Trump can't even waddle his way through Taormina along with the rest of the G7 weasels.  Jesus, what an impotent beta cuck.

I Don't Think The Red Letter Media Fellers Like The New Alien Movie Much

Jeez.  They sound sad.  Heh.

Musta Got Lost

Giving Carolyn The Finger

Charles Payne Is The Ultimate Beta Cuck Uncle Tom

Chuncky Chuck is always willing to do whatever his massa wants.  He has no capacity for shame and no good sense, so Charles Payne is perfect Uncle Tom for Trump's exceptional America.

Hey! Tejay Van Garderen, Nice Win

Great win in the best race, and nobody can take that away.  Van Garderen is a fucking divisive figure, so a great many people enjoy shitting all over no matter what, but out on the road, he snagged a nice win.  A stage in the Giro like that is fucking awesome.

Simon Jenkins Is Smarter Than The Average Limey

Corbyn is right.  When you spread chaos and murder throughout the land, eventually you pay the price at home.  The Brits have been smiling piss-boys to America's bloody empire, and now they are enjoying the natural outcome of their adventures.  Genius!

James Comey Is An Idiot--Blame Obama

Obama is the fucking reactionary nitwit who put this fucktard in charge of the United States national police force.  Brilliant!  Comey was apparently easily duped into believing an obviously fake document might be released and then decided for some fucking reason to treat it as legitimate.  That's a special kind of genius right there.  The Russian "subversion" of our sacred democracy amounted to nothing more than a few half-hearted juvenile attempts to fuck with some idiots and troll the press, but our august elites couldn't tell that a few bullshit items written in purple crayon were fakes, so they lost what little minds they had.  I'm so glad Barack Obama used his office to place Comey and his ilk in such a position of influence at such a delicate time.  Jesus.

Is It Fair To Want The Black Gossip Kids To Be Sharper Than The Rest Of The Gossip Kids?

Surely not.  But much like when you see a black Republican or a black Hillary supporter, it's infuriating because somehow the African-American experience should, at some level, work against being a mundane clueless asshole like the average white idiot.  That's not the case though, and reading comprehension is hard no matter your complexion, obviously.  Jesus, it's not like the fucking Handmaid's Tale was gods-damned Finnegans Wake or anything.  The most egregiously unrealistic thing in the book was not the ethnic cleansing of all the non-whites, but instead the new nation being called Gilead.  Any real theocratic teabagging America would retain USA in its new name, like Saviour's Republic of the United States or some shit like that.  No old-timey, Jewey, old-Testament name would cut it with your average bed-wetting Proud Boy.

Montana Is Not Going To Be A Win For The Dems

Somehow, the Dems can't seem to win, no matter what.  If this goes on another coupla decades, we may be able to discern a pattern or something.

He Went To Jared!

Whoops!  Here's a pro tip: don't let your idiot son in law do any important work around the Russkies.  If he was so fucking stupid his dad had to spend millions of dollars to get him into Harvard, he probably can't be trusted with anything important.  Just sayin'. 

That bellowing you hear is the joyous call of the fattest white whale of them all, Chris Christie.

Days Of Wine And Grizzlies

Don't pet the bears.  And understanding where the fuck you are is probably the key and not whether somebody's on their period.  The bears don't really fucking care, but they are fat and lazy opportunists that can rip your arms off, so better to stay way far away from them and take every proper precaution when you're in bear country.  Worrying about icky girls and their scary periods seems somewhat futile.

Sean Spicer Is The Last Man On Earth The Most Exceptionally Weak Beta Donald Trump Can Cuck

And he cucked him with a pope!  Sad, weak little Sean Spicer just wanted to meet a pope, but Trump knew Spicer was the only man in the world beta enough that he, Trump, could still cuck, so he cucked teary babyman Sean Spicer right there in front of everyone.  Thanks, Trump.

Ruh-Roh, Hannity Takes A Fox "News" "Vacation"

Sure, he'll be back they say, but can Fox "News" be trusted?  Bill "The Mad Jerk-Off" O'Reilly had to take a Fox "News" "vacation" as well.  Heh, indeedy.

Rory Gilmore

Julian Assange Is A Great Man

Assange did what few would be willing to do: face a great and murderous and corrupt empire with little protection because it was the right thing to do.  Assange became an enemy of that empire but has managed to survive this long.  The work of WikiLeaks was slowed but not stopped, and Assange has had his reputation assassinated by the people who are so very fearful of the truth being known.  That tells you Assange was right all along.  The proper enemies is a sure sign of virtue.  Assange is a great man.

Donald Trump: Exceptional Submarine Cuck

Trump's such a blubbering beta he gets cucked by two-bit street thugs like Rodrigo Duterte.  That's just fucking brilliant.  What would Trump do if a real leader ever came along, shit himself?

Thanks, Trump

David Clarke Is America's Most Exceptionally Embarrassing Cuck

Sad.  And stupid.  Imagine being too dumb and unqualified for the FUCKING TRUMP ADMINISTRATION!  Jesus, there's never been a bigger risible loser than David Clarke!

Fifth Amendment Flynn Is America's Tiniest Cuck

Michael Flynn is a beta's beta. The biggiest pussy in America. Afraid of Congress.  I wonder if his mom still makes him wear rubber pants to bed every night, too?

Why, Yes, Trump Has Always Been A Fucking Moron

He was born dumb and will die the same.  Anybody who knew him and was honest has said the same thing.  Donald Trump is a zero.  Always was, always will be.

That Motherfucker Trump

Trump is a gods-damned pussy cocksucking motherfucker for giving up on Holy Joe Lieberman!  All the fucking high-calorie entertainment we could have enjoyed watching that shitbird sell out Trump on the 24-hour cable news tee vee might just have make us happy for a time.  Bastard!

Bleating Addle-Headed Reactionary Cuck Of The Day, Today

This squealing pig-fucker.  There are hundreds of millions of reasons why America will never be great ever, and this asshole is one of 'em.

Political Song for Sean Hannity to Sing

Fox "News" Is The World's Finest "News" Source

More embarrassing than Bill O'Reilly getting caught by his wife jerking off on the phone with Donald Trump's favorite pay-by-the-minute Indochine ladyboy.  At least now we can look forward to watching Sean Hannity cry on his show tonight.

Spoiled Twits Being Twits

Bitchy!  But when you are an over-privileged twit, the world is yours to complain about brainlessly.

And Kent School Was Home To Choate Abuser Bjorn Runquist For Many Years!

Choate is nothing if not generous!  Their abusive teachers have gone far and wide, at least far and wide-ish--Adam Hardej took his hard-edged douchebro act to California right after Choate; Chuck Timlin made it as far as West Haven; Kenny Mills went six feet under.  It's odd that Bjorn does not mention Choate in his official bio.  Hmmm.  Maybe he was never really there.  Could that be?  No.  Cheyenne Montgomery remembers Bjorn Runquist at Choate.

The Gunnery Got In On The Choate Sex Abuse Action With Jaime Rivera-Murillo And Chip Lowery

The Gunnery is not the most famous boarding school in the world, but they got in on the Choate abuse story with a couple of their teachers.  I guess that is how the smaller schools get some publicity out in the big wide world.

Nazis And Japs: Getting The Band Back Together

Jesus, what fucking year is this?  And now they can have a special guest appearance of Donald Trump playing Fritz Julius Kuhn.  What a show!  I wonder if they're gonna invite the Wops?  But you would think that Japan at least would think twice about this fascist shit, as the last time didn't end so well for them.

Trump In Israel

New Saudi Anthem

Another Sad Christian Loon Who Should Have Had An Abortion

It's very fucking sad that this kid didn't have anyone in her life wise enough to tell her to get a fucking abortion.  Her life is ruined because she is too superstitious and primitive to use proper birth control methods.  Sad.  Her mom or someone should have been the one to tell her it was okay to abort the little parasite.  But freedumb is indelible. 

Manly Men

Alex Jones And Donald Trump Will Stop The Chemtrails!

Fuck Yeah!  Those two acclaimed intellects are gonna save us from humidity!

I Fucking Love The Comments On This Article--CHEMTRAILS ARE TOTALLY REAL, DUDE!

Teabagging mental-defectives who've never seen an airliner or a cloud before totally understand science, though.  LIAR!  Jesus, how can so many people be so fucking stupid?

What The Fuck Was Joey Ramone Doing On The Sun City Song?

Besides shitting on Reagan, which I guess is really way more than enough.  But jesus, that song is a mess; I get that Little Miami Steve van Zandt is a true fan of soul and blues and jazz and shit, but jamming all those folks into that performance is not pretty.  Plus Springsteen ruins everything he touches.  And jeez wasn't Bono young.  And a shit ton of those people were alive!  Darlene Love from Lethal Weapon is in it, too.

More Than One Way To Punch A Nazi

Cowardly uber-cuck Richard Spencer gets beat-down by a woman!  What a glorious day in the history of Nazi pussies.  Thanks, Trump!

Junkie Galen Tyrol Cosplayer Gregg Jarrett Is Back On The Smack

Mueller's gotta go!  So says the Fox "News" junkie Galen Tyrol.  Well, that's just fucking peachy, so I'm sure Bob will be quitting any second now...

& Round

Excellent Glenn Greenwald On The Day Chelsea Manning Was Freed

Manning is one of the greatest of Americans, brave in a way almost nobody really is, and that makes her a hero.  Greenwald has been on this case since the beginning.  

Deranged Squealing Right-Wing Bed-Wetter Of The Day, Today

This stupid fucking pussy.  It's pretty fucking sad that racist idiots like this are out there.  Thanks, Trump.

Anti-American Anthem

Fore Damn Road

And Jesus, Make Trump Put That Vile Joe Lieberman In The FBI

Lieberman is a nasty, slimy little fucker--and totally unqualified for any law enforcement job--so if Trump is dumb enough to appoint him, there's a great chance Lieberman will ultimately betray Trump in his usual manner.  Thanks, Trump!

Oh, Please Jesus Fucking Christ, Let Bill O'Reilly Be The Next Fox "News" Bastard To Die

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Chris Cornell

I was never much of a Soundgarden fan; they always sounded like dumb stoner kids who listened to too much Led Zeppelin--and I can't believe that most people miss that Nirvana was making fun of shit like Soundgarden and all the rest of that crap.  Anywho, Cornell was a decent singer tho, and hangin' yoself is just fucking sad.

Shadowlands

This Is What A Hero Looks Like

You are not a hero.  Cops are not heroes.  Soldiers are not heroes.  Stupid little racist bed-wetters are not heroes.  She's a hero.

Excellent Atlantic Piece On Slavery, Signal-Boosted By Sr. Atrios

Well-done.  Involved but very human tale of how the workings of economics and inequality and power can work even our exceptional America.  Atrios did some boosting.

Miserable Cocksucker Roger Ailes Died At Least 60 Years Too Late

Disgusting fat motherfucker should have died long ago and truly made America greater again.  Ailes was a cancer in the shittiest corner of our national colon, and the world is a better place now that he's dead.  Too bad hell isn't real because Ailes deserves to be enjoying all the finest torments and anal rapings for eternity.

Drag It Is

Chelsea Is Free

This here Twitter.  And this Instantgram thingy.

Freedom displaces an iota of our exceptional freedumb today.

Creepy Right-Wing Shitstain Of The Day, Today

Nasty piece of work.  Perfect as an organ-grinder's monkey for the pallid amusement of reactionary mental-defectives, though.

Chelsea Manning Out Of Prison

One of the few good things Obama did, though he should have given her a full pardon, was to commute Manning's sentence and order her release, though it was the rabidly fascist Obama administration's war on information that caused this shit show in the first place.  Regardless of all that shit, this is one of those few good days we're getting, so enjoy it.  Pretty much everything else is fucked up.

Make Me A Sammitch

The Gossip Kids Are Not Up To Understanding Venezuela

Or socialism. Or common sense.  Venezuela's problem was not socialism, it was the corrupt racist oligarchy which ruled the country before Chavez, destroying the society for all but the most wealthy and connected.  Chavez was a wonderful, radical leader who began to transform the nation, but when the oil money could no longer support the economy, the entire system collapsed.  That was exactly the opposite of socialism.  Had Venezuela had a century to construct the infrastructure of a modern society, then the 21st century would have been a wonderful age, as it is in Scandinavia, Germany, Switzerland, but Chavez was not able to do the work of a century in less than a decade.  The gossip kids should really shut the fuck and stick to sports gossip.

All-American

Hating On Derek Jeter Is An Important Cottage Industry

For a certain lower class of writer.  Which is fine.  They're the Yankees.  The franchise which defines baseball.  Jump all over them.  It's good.  Jeter is the most famous of the modern Yankees, so go ahead and make your way tearing him down.  Pretty sure he doesn't give a fuck.

Green Means

The Giro Got Crashy Over The Weekend

Racing.  It's too bad the coverage in the US is so problematic; the Giro is the real race.

Twits Ahoy!

Exceptional America: too stupid to live.  A bunch of over-privileged upper-class twits are concerned about Russian university rankings because fucktard.  Our twits are too dumb to wipe their own asses properly.  Chicago is a great school.  They really shoulda named it Rockefeller University when they had the chance.

Personal Reflection On The Choate Abuse, Unfortunately From The Weekly Standard

Lee Smith, and from his other shit on that dumb website, you can tell he's a fucking reactionary shithead.  But he was there at Choate and witnessed Chip Lowery with his girls.  Smith missed Chuck Timlin and Adam Hardej, though.

Prolly Not

The Most Risible Boarding School Ranking In The History Of Written Language

Unconscionably stupid, hilariously wrong, and just fucking dumb.  You can tell that the ass-clowns who compiled the list knew nothing about boarding schools because they start with the only two schools any civilians have ever heard of, and after that it is a completely embarrassing shit-show.

Any list which does not have Groton and St. Paul's tied for first is fucking useless; they are two of the very best high schools in the world, traditionally the finest boarding schools in the United States, and absolutely unbeatable today, tomorrow, and yesterday.  Everyone with half a brain who is being honest and has any experience in the tiny boarding school pocket universe will acknowledge that fact.

Andover and Exeter should be tied for third.  They're good.  They're big.  It's fine.  But they are no way the best.

Fifth is a tie between Choate, Deerfield, and Hotchkiss.  Those seven schools are the only legitimate number one choice for the very best candidates.  Any of those seven are better than any other boarding school in the world for the proper boarding school student.

Too many schools on that list don't belong at all: Church Farm; Shattuck-St. Mary's; Woodberry Forest; Western Reserve Academy; Verde Valley School; Orbe; Rabun Gap-Nacoochee; Foxcroft; Webb; Wayland Academy.  Those schools are garbage, regional schools with lower percentage boarders for the most part.  If you were gonna put shit like them on, where are Baylor and Bolles?  Concord Academy is not on the list and a great school, too, way better than than these fucking shit schools, but it's not a true boarding school.

Milton doesn't belong on the list either; it's a great school but not a true boarding school either.

No St. George's.  No Mercersburg.  No St. Mark's.  No Canterbury.  Those schools belong on this list, unlike so many schools those idiots actually picked.  Even Culver Academies should probably be on the list.

Putney, Episcopal, Asheville, Thacher, Taft, Trinity-Pauling, Blair, Miss Hall's, Berkshire, Holderness, Portsmouth Abbey are all waayyy too high on the list.

Ethel Walker, Pomfret, Lawrenceville, Emma Willard, Kent, Northfield Mount Hermon, Middlesex, Loomis Chaffee, Groton--the best school in the world!!--Hotchkiss, Peddie, Choate, Deefield, St. Paul's, another #1 high school in the world, are all obviously ranked far too low.

This list manages to suck ass way harder than most things are able to suck ass, even in the age of Trump.  Fucking exceptional!

The Big-6 plus Groton are the top tier: Andover, Choate, Deerfield, Exeter, Groton, Hotchkiss, and St. Paul's.

After that it's not as big a deal, but Lawrenceville, Loomis Chaffee, Miss Porter's, Northfield Mount Hermon, St. Andrew's, St. George's, and Taft lead the second tier.  Emma Willard, Kent, Mercersburg, Middlesex, Peddie, and St. Mark's round out a nice top-20.  Blair, Cate, Episcopal, Pomfret, Suffield, and Thacher deserve mention.  Asheville, Avon Old Farms, Berkshire, Brooks, Canterbury, George, Salisbury, Westminster, Westtown, and Westover are good, too; if you're not cut out for the top tier schools, fit and location are much more important than the difference in ranking and prestige between second and third tier schools.  They're all pretty much going to be so much better for the right kids than any local public high school.

Deerfield Should Take Down This Video

It makes the place sound like it's full of idiots.  I mean, it is.  All those elite prep schools have a high-percentage of insufferable douchenozzles and vile, upper-class fuckwads, but if you're gonna do a video like this one, pick some interesting kids who don't come across as clueless, over-privileged dipshits.  Jesus.

Deerfield has done wonders with Koch money and girls even though they were 20 years late to coeducation.  The dingy, threadbare prison camp of Deerfield in the 70s and 80s is gone, and they are legit competitors to Andover, Choate, Exeter, Groton, Hotchkiss, and St. Paul's.  Ask Lawrenceville how hard it is to crack the very top echelon of elite boarding schools--they have never been able to do it.  Northfield Mount Hermon most likely will never get there, but Deerfield did.  Do a better fucking job with the fucking vids, though. 

A Mother's Day Serenade

Joe More Time

Best Idea Ever: Abolish The FBI

Fuck those creepy little fascist cross-dressing closet cases.  Abolish the American secret police.  Whatever tiny legitimate law enforcement use the FBI serves could easily be handled by the states working together when necessary.  Let's get rid of those assholes in the FBI once and for all.

Exceptional American Ghosts

Powerline's Well-Known Genius Johnny Buttrocket Is Also A Scientitian

Wicked smart guy, that assrocket motherfucker.  He knows lots of stuff and you can tell because he's quoting full-on fuckwads like Fred Singer.  Exceptional!

Bill O'Reilly's Gonna Jerk Off On The Phone With Glenn Beck As Revenge Against His Enemies

That'll show 'em!  He's gonna yank that wizened scabby little wiener until all his enemies are blind from the horror.  Bill O'Reilly shall not be defeated!

Mountain Bikes Should Be Allowed In Wilderness Areas

Unless you wanna ban horses, too.  Horses are not native to North America so unless horses are banned, mountain bikes must be allowed too.  The mistake these retarded assholes like Kevin Proescholdt make is that they alienate the mountain bikers so those riders align themselves with anti-wilderness Republicans and industry groups.  The wilderness idiots should embrace the cycling community, work to get special rules for mountain bikes which also strengthen prohibitions against all other forms of mechanical travel and invasion, and gain some allies.  But no, like so many mental-defective fuckfaces, the wilderness shitbirds are too stupid to get it right.

Political Song for Bill O'Reilly's Sad Shriveled Prick to Sing

Oh Noes! Bill O'Reilly's Naked Phone Sex And Wife Beating Shared With The World

Fucking brilliant!  The wife catches Bill O'Reilly jerking off on the phone, pantsless, and undoubtedly chatting with an old-school Indochinese lady-boy, so he decides to grab her by the neck and drag her through the house even though they were not alone.  That's fucking genius at work right there!  I'd imagine any civilians who caught sight of Bill's pathetic, scabby, weeping micropenis during the fracas were damaged for life.

Makes you wonder who the real father of those kids is...

Cyclists Are Dimwits And Will Buy Anything If Someone Tells Them To

Brilliant marketing or pathetic lifestyle branding?  Suck or blow?  Probably both, but bike riders are mostly pretty fucking useless dullards.  Riding racing and touring bikes off pavement was invented 20 seconds after the racing and touring bikes were invented.  Needing a discrete bike type to do it is beyond fucking lame.  Calling it anything other than riding your fucking bike is embarrassing as fuck.  Hell, Rivendell was pushing this horseshit starting in 1994.  At least they did it with more class than the bike brands have been able to manage.

Way Too Easy Bret Stephens Fisking

The never-even-a-bit-liberal NYT.  Only a fucking conservative dickbrain would be dumb enough to believe that gigantic corporations are left of anything. 

Racist Wingnut Assholes Do Fiction

Cute--it's like a stroke book for the Klan.  Hard to believe that racist shitstains will believe anything, but nobody ever mistook these motherfuckers for Harvard graduates.

Bernie Would Have Won, But Clinton/Sanders Would Have Won, Too

Clinton's atrocious campaigns are now the stuff of legend, but if that dumb neoliberal fuckface had had the sense to pick Sanders as her running mate, and then embraced one of his simple, popular policies like $15/hour minimum wage, she would be in the fucking White House now.  How can anyone support such an exceptional loser.  Jesus, Clinton was a fucking train wreck.

Another Great Tribute To Lynne Stewart

Lynne Stewart's case was one of the most flagrant violations of "American" principles of justice and freedom post-911, and yet hardly anyone in a position of power and/or influence uttered a peep.  Might make one suspect that actual "American" principles are exceptionally different from what some say.

If You Ever Wonder Where Some Twits Get The Money To Buy Expensive Bike Shit

The former Jack Brunk might have an answer for you!  Jesus fucking christ, the guy was posting all over the internets under his own name but was a fucking criminal and then convicted felon--he plead guilty of course.  What the fuck!  The upper-class twits really are fucking scum.  Another piece of shit human dead, so I guess it's good news.  Complicated life indeed.  The Serotta Forum twits are fucking garbage people, and apparently cycling is a sport brought to you by felony fraud.  I wonder how many of those Serotta twits bought some of Brunk's bike shit originally purchased with stolen money?

Kissed Live Perfectly

Little Flower Girls' Club: Also Too Not Demented And Evil As Fuck

Because the American Heritage Girls are not quite catholic and child-rapey enough for everybody, behold the Little Flower Girls' Club.  Maybe they can only send the priests who like to fuck boys to tend to the Little Flower Girls so that the hymens can be preserved for jesus.  Yay!

American Heritage Girls: Not At All Creepy American Sharia Law Or Anything

No, nothing like a nasty christian fundie cult. Really.  I mean, the Girl Scouts are pretty fucking terrible, but at least they do shit to piss of jesus and the conservative fucksticks, so they have some value.  The American Heritage Girls are just really fucking sick christian-branded Sharia law-type bullshit.  Fuck them all in the ear hole.

Comey: Trump Cleans Up Obama's Mess

Here's a pro tip for Dems: DON'T PUT ASSHOLE REPUBLICAN SHITBIRDS INTO IMPORTANT GOVERNMENT POSTS!  Republicans are all fucking petty fascist asswipes who cannot be trusted, so keep them the fuck out of your administration.  As usual, Trump fucked it all up, but Comey should never have been in that position in the first place.  Thanks, Obama.

Paranoid Racist Twit Dreams The Coward's Dream Of Hurting A Helpless Junkie

Nothing a racist coward wants more than to shoot a blah.  If, IF, the story is true, then the probably blah person was no real risk to anyone, but it would have been hilarious if mister tough guy had gotten himself hurt or killed confronting the sad purported junkie.  That would make America greater again.  I'm sure this William creep is a well-known pussy but a legend in his own mind.

So, The French Avoided Electing Their Own Petty Fascist Imbecile

But got their very own neoliberal shitbird instead.  I guess it's better that Macron is a literal motherfucker instead of being named Clinton.  France needs leadership, and they sure as shit won't get it from their new guy.

Exceptional Dead Bob Owens Needs To Be An Example For Every Other Guntard Asshole In The United States

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Hanford Nuclear Reservation: Rick Perry's On The Case!

Chill the fuck out, Rick Perry's got this!  Rick Perry's been preparing for this shit his whole life like a coupla weeks at least, so I'm sure he knows just what the fuck to do.  I wouldn't worry at all with a man like Rick Perry in charge while plutonium is running around loose and shit in Washington. 

Unflattering Cat Selfies Tumblr: More Important To America Than The Trump Administration

Vital.

Sharpy

Mean Bean Is Your Spirit Animal

Bobby Sands, MP

That Orange Dial For Men Power Scrub Soap Is The Best Mass-Market Bar Soap Ever

Holy shit, that stuff is awesome.  Cheap, too.  Has a lovely light grit feel to it, is a tacky orange color, smells pretty yummy, and really cuts through the scum and the slime and random, unidentifiable crust.  It's a great soap after a long, dirty mountain bike ride, gym workout, hard day at work.  It even cleans you up pretty fucking good after an impromptu three-and-a-half-day road trip/drinking binge/fuck frenzy with a new or even an old friend.  Good stuff.

Andover And Exeter Gender-Neutral Dorms

It's good to be the kings.  Good to have shitloads of money and be the only two boarding schools any civilians have ever heard of.  All good.  Luxurious, even.  Good to try and accommodate everyone, too, in an atmosphere of tolerance and inclusion as best you can.  This shit doesn't matter to the outside world, but withing their own little universe, what A and E do will percolate down through the rest of the top boarding schools as well.

Martin Hannett's Quick Rain Bows

Sun Myung Moon's Moonie Times Is Washington's Finest News Source

Truly outstanding analysis, trenchant commentary, and world-class newsgathering.  What cub reporter would not give their left nut to be a part of such an august media enterprise?

Sean Davis And The Federalist: Like A Broken, Overflowing Toilet, Only Nastier

Fucking smart guy right there, that Sean Davis.  The simple shit everyone, even Davis, can understand is that ESPN is getting fucked by increasingly expensive programming and cratering revenue from a collapsing cable audience.  But Davis, because he is a simpleton comrade of noted plagiarist, simpleton fuckstain, and talking asswipe Ben Domenech, has to go full teabagger fuckface and also claim that some insidious left-wing politics are the real problem.  That's just fucking perfect for The Federalist, where history, reality, and common sense have no power.

Mr. Bruce Gordon All Done

Retiring.  I guess that means he has enough savings to retire.  That's good.  The twits are confused.  As usual.

Hillary Clinton: Exceptional American Loser

And that's a wicked good thing.  The Clintons are an all-American ass cancer, so every decent person should be happy Clinton lost--BERNIE WOULD HAVE WON--but that means we have Trump.  Trump's a whole different wasting disease infecting America's exceptional anus.

Boston Really Is The Most Comically Racist City In America

It's fuckin' Boston, but it's worse than Biloxi or anywhere else in the fucking south.  Those sick assholes in Boston are an inbreed apart, and the fucking Sox and the Patsies deserve 'em.

Victor Davis Hanson Is A Special Kind Of Stupid

He may not know horseshit when he eats it or how to spell straw man, but Hanson sure does know how to talk like what a really fucking dumb person thinks a state college teacher talks like.  Hanson will never be able to comprehend how every single right-wing idea is stunningly rejected by the majority of people around the world every single day and that only the most tenuous inanity and petty racist paranoia that keep his bosses in power anywhere in the developed world.  Thanks, Trump!

This Should Be The New Sean Hannity Theme Song

International Workers' Day

The only true American holiday.  And one we sure need a fuckload more of around our exceptional shithole these days. 

Hell's Ditch Re-review

Or something.  Cool album.  The end of the road for the Pogues. 

Exceptional Day For Bill Shine And Sean Hannity And Fox "News"

Thanks, Trump!  This shit is getting fucking wicked fun about now.  Fox "News" is shredding itself for our amusement, and we are amused.  We are.  Amused.  Exceptional!