Unlikely Story Of Children, Family, And Love, Or Don't Give Your DNA To Some Dumb Company

Highly unlikely story of kids and love and mail-order jizz and DNA.  But the important part is the lesson that you should not be volunteering your DNA to some sketchy company out there who will share it with anyone and everyone including the cops or CIA.  Yes, the day is coming when every child is DNA registered with the government at birth, but that day is not here yet and everyone should fight as long as possible just on principle.  For the people in this particular weird story, well, party on.