Back To The Old House

Great Day: Beautiful American Patriot In Virgina Beach Loved The Fucking Constitution And America And Freedom So Fucking Much He Killed At Least 11 People--FUCK YEAH

If only more motherfucking American Patriots loved freedumb and the 2nd Amendment as much as this motherfucker did!  Fuck Yeah!  This is just the sort of exceptional American that we need to stand up against the Deep State and the Abortionists and the Illegal Immigrants and the Immigrants and the Radical Islamists and the Niggers and the Gun Grabbers and the Communists the Communist Chinaman and the Democrats and the Municipal Employees and the Socialists and the Faggots and the Trannys and the Beaners and the Children and the Venezuela and the Godless Heathen Atheists and the Feminazis and the Antifa and the Jews and the Papists and the NASA and the Vaccines and the Climate Scientists and the Womens.  Damn right, these are the wonderful beautiful great Patriots who aren't afraid to shoot random motherfuckers for FREEDUMB!

Good Day: Yankees Beat The Sox

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

RIP Roky Erickson

The Garbage Ape Is So Wrong On This Gillibrand Shit

Garbage Ape fuckin' moron: the Al Franken incident was a ratfuck by Roger Stone (and had nothing to do with creepy Joe Biden) so any Dem or non-Republican who didn't defy Roger Fucking Stone is an idiot.  Gillibrand sucked anyway, but aiding and abetting a Roger Stone ratfuck of a sitting Dem senator is inexcusable.  Garbage Apes should be smarter than this.  And Franken didn't do anything wrong; if you can't see that, please light yourself on fire immediately.  Thanks.

Law 1

Deranged Racist Fuck Bibi Netanyahu Is So Fucking Sick Of Winning

Vile fascist sick of all that winning is a great thing for the whole fucking world.  There's never been anyone worse than Benjamin Netanyahu, and that racist creep deserves all the fucking opprobrium the world and karma can muster.  Let's hope that sick hateful bastard is on his way to an especially violent, rapey personal hell very, very soon.

Dave Weigel, Guzzling That Bezos Piss

Middle-aged libertarian boy Dave Weigel clearly got the memo from his lord and master that Biden must win at any cost.  These retweets are not an accident.  The hard-right "centrist" lies are not a mistake.  Clowns like Dave Weigel pretend to not understand things--or maybe they don't really get it, atmo, since libertarians are fucking morons--and misrepresent things with a goal in mind, a goal to promote a very specific candidate and bring down all others.  Weigel is following orders like a good pissboy.

Normal, Decent Americans Don't Understand The Teabagger Insanity

Intelligent people can't comprehend just how fucking weird and crazy and racist and evil and conservatives are, whether you call 'em teabaggers, Republicans, Nazis, Proud Boys, MAGAtards, neocons, alt-right, white nationalists, libertarians.  None of that shit matters; the right-wing is demented.

Boot Lickers Lick Boots, A Tale Of The Twits

Some people just love to be a bitch, to lick those boots, to kiss that ass.  Authority, no matter how laughable, gives them a special feeling, makes them moist with ardor.  No matter how big a loser your daddy is, you always want your daddy to smack you again if you are a twit.  Sad.  And remember, BruceK is a dick!

Blame Canada, And Hair Spray

And Dio.

Vaccinate Your Fucking Kids For Christ's Fucking Sake

Joe Rogan is a fucking moron, but Dr. Hotez is a stud.  Unfortunately, Joe Rogan is an idiot libertarian, made more of an idiot because he's a libertarian clown.  Dr. Hotez did his best to school him, but it won't ever do any good.  Still, vaccinate your fucking kids motherfuckers.

We Seldom Get Good Tebow News Anymore

But a strikeout is always good.  Thanks, jesus.  Tim Tebow is a fucking scumbag.

Stanned Band

The Internet Is A Wonderful Place

Everyone here is so nice.  Life is amazing.

Malcolm Tucker Is Pretty Sick Of All The Winning

Sad.  Somehow Malcolm Tucker Alistair Campbell manages to sound like a bigger idiot than when he was Tony Blair's chief pissboy.  Brilliant!  Thanks, Blair.

Let's Get Jesus To Cancel The Red Sox

The whole fucking crew of racist shitheads, including Pedroia.  That would be something to truly make America greater again. 

The Palins Breed Like Rats

Because reasons.  Exceptional American shit like the Palins always will breed like the vermin they are.

Sales Farce

Something Something Own Worst Enemy Something Fucking Idiot Something Corn Cob

At what point does it become your own fault?  At what point do you deserve it?  Fucking dipshits like Ijeoma Oluo are trying wicked fucking hard to find out.  Assholes.

Art Class Decider

Only An Idiot Would Trust Peter Daou

Don't be an idiot.

Irving Kristol's Idiot Failson Bill Kristol Sucks Major Ass

Bill Kristol is a yuge piece of shit.  Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

Rickenbacker Bass Fan Club Meeting In Dave Reaume's Basement

Politico Tries To Smear Bernie And Winds Up Endorsing Him

Swing and miss!  The hit piece is pretty slimy on the surface, but if anyone bothers to read it, they will see that the entire article winds up being a pretty good endorsement of Bernie Sanders as a politician and civil servant.  Politico is dumber than a box of rocks, but they couldn't be any more complimentary of Bernie's leadership abilities if they tried--and they wouldn't try!

Fun Video Fisking Of Imbecilic Ass Clown Elon Musk

Every Day In Every Way, Baggatron Cocksuckers Like Free Re-Pubic Are Dumber Than Dog Shit

No such thing as fossil fuels! The Earth is only 6000 years old!! Jesus!!!  Baggatron cocksuckers are dumber than dog shit.

Poor Kristen B Tate Is Not The Smartest Girl In Class

She is, however, a libertarian shithead; I wonder if she knows Dave Weigel.  Anywho, poor stupid Ms. Tate is hiding somewhere now, turning into a corn cob, because she doesn't have the elan to be a fucking ass clown.

An Idiot Big Enough To Be On The Serotta Forum

Jesus. You know this fucking guy is living in a grimy trailer park in Alabama, collecting.  Herpaderp Big 4, Texas A&M, Kenyon's no good.  This dipshit doesn't know shit about anything, but he loves to pretend.  What a fucking asshole.  Were he over- instead of under-privileged, he would be on the Serotta Forum.  He'd fit right in with those numbskulls if he had a pile to waste on disc brake road bikes.

Williams is a great college, easily the best undergraduate education in the world, but free is free and Bates or Mount Holyoke are just as good.  Especially for free.  Christ.

Pretend Cover

Fun Thread From Parker Molloy

What she's saying: conservatives are just the fucking worst.  And it is true.  Conservative dickheads worry so much about dumb shit that doesn't concern them because they love to discriminate and separate and destroy.  Most trans folks who compete in sports are just as unremarkable as the rest of the competitors.  They're not racing because they know they will win every time, but because they are just normal boring athletes loving the game. 

Political Song for Natalie Hershlag to Sing

Conservative Men Are Sad, Creepy, Frail, Little Fuckers (And Very Likely Closet Cases)

How pathetic their lives are.  Let's do the world some good and cancel conservative white men.  For jesus.

I Assume The US Army Had The Summer Intern At Their PR Firm Responsible For This Tweet Shot Today

Christ I hope so.  It was kinda fun watching the entire military turn into a corn cob, tho.

It's Cara Tivey!

Look At That 25 Year Old Ibanez SG Bass Patrick Fitzgerald Is Playing

Funny that album title was changed as this was a couple of months before the record came out.

Jill Filipovic Is The Most Tedious Corn Cob Ever

Jesus.  Filipovic was brutally pwned by this fucking pathetic corn cob take.  Bernie didn't support death squads and other imperial atrocities in Central America, so the dumb bunny from the NYT got herself humiliated.  Boo fucking hoo.  Jill Filipovic probably didn't learn any lessons from this either. 

Dinner Theatre With David Evans' Hair

Swedes.  Heh.  You know this was a fucking long time ago if Dave doesn't have his dumb little hat on.  He has a strong voice, though.  Who needs Paul?

Irin Carmon Loves Being A Pissgirl

And a corn cob.  Clearly.  Carmon is either dumber than Josh Marshall or even more of thirsty pissgirl.  Either way.  Hillary deadenders are the most pathetic people in the known universe.  Sad.  Thanks, Trump.

Who Got Molly Roberts Her Job?

Molly Roberts is a dimwit.  Roberts is really sure that everyone else is as dumb as she is and does not understand television, pop culture, politics, activism, protest, pretty much anything, so I wonder who her dad was friends with to get her the sinecure at the Bezos Post?

Holy Schnit! Michael Avenatti Is Perhaps The Only Man Who Can Equal Trump

Avenatti should be a Republican.  He's the only bigger stooge in America than Trump!  The GOP should sign this motherfucker Michael Avenatti right away!  Avenatti/Trump 2020!

Conservative Twits Are The Fucking Scum Of The Earth

Any college that thinks conservatives are anything other than racist fuckwits, well that college is fucking garbage.  Conservatives and conservatism are always wrong.  Colleges should treat them like the nasty imbeciles they are.  Twits are everywhere, and they suck yuge moose cock.

Vile Racist Shithead Theresa May Is Really Fucking Sick Of All The Winning

So much motherfucking winning!  Finally that vile bitch is gone, and she's taking the Tories with her.  Sad.  Thanks, Trump!

A Story Of Jerry Falwall Jr. And His Poolboy

Abortion Prevention

Heh.

Oskar's Drive

Rich Dumb White Guys Like The Serotta Forum Twits Don't Need To Know Jack Shit

So they don't.  They have all they need and will always be fine.  News, politics, reality don't mean shit to them.  Maria Bartiromo or the New York Times or Alex Jones or Dave Weigel is enough for them.  It doesn't matter how hopeless the twits get because they know they will always be protected.

The Picard Show Looks Awful

So dumb.  It really does sound like they're going to go with Romulans blowing up somehow or some dumb shit, and then it's off to the races of fucktardery.  Roddenberry may not have been a genius or anything, but the fucking parade of absolute imbeciles who have worked in the Federation since have been and continue to be absolute scum.

Sons Of

Oh Jesus Fuck No Stop The Serotta Twits From Trying To Talk About Homelessness Again

Motherfucker.  These clueless rich white guys are going to be the death of sanity in what's left of American society.

Hey!  Dipshits!  Over here.  Homelessness is not easy to solve 100% everywhere at once, but there are a few easy ways to make the problem manageable once you stop being complete over privileged shitheads, get a fucking clue in general, and stop reading right-wing nitwits on the HuffPost:

PAY PEOPLE A LIVING WAGE

MAKE SURE EVERYONE WITH A JOB IS IN A UNION

ZONE AND BUILD AFFORDABLE HOUSING

IMPLEMENT A PROPER PROGRESSIVE TAX SYSTEM TO PREVENT MANHATTAN AND SAN FRANCISCO FROM HAPPENING

COVER EVERYONE'S HEALTH CARE THROUGH TAXES VIA SINGLE-PAYER OR AN NHS

SUBSIDIZE INEXPENSIVE AND EFFICIENT PUBLIC TRANSPORT INSTEAD OF SUBSIDIZING EXPENSIVE AND WASTEFUL AUTOMOBILE TRANSPORT 

See, that's not so hard.  Start with this obvious shit and then the problem of homelessness becomes something that society can deal with.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

The Price Above Paradise

Bowel Movement Conservatism, White Nationalism, White Supremecy, Racism Are All True Political Violence

Matt Ford is correct that milkshaking a vile twerp like Nigel Farage is ultimately cucking him in front of his nasty friends.  And yes, punching Nazis is always a good thing.  Their racist, nationalist hatred is legit political violence. 

Political Song for Punk Rock Beto to Sing

Punk Rock Beto Shoulda Run For The Senate Again

Or continued being Texas' own Kyrsten Sinema in the House.  He's wasting his time running for President.  Beto would be a shitty fucking Dem POTUS, but he'd be a pretty fucking okay Dem Senator from Texas.

The Greatest Headline Ever

If only, if only it were true.  Nothing is ever nice.

Maybe What You Needed Was A Strong Drive-By Fisking Of The Racist GOP

So, here you go.  Pretty much everybody knew right away that this "Freedom Caucus" bullshit was just a continuation of core GOP racist identity politics, right?

Where

91 Basso Gap

Not the paint I would have chosen, or the components, but a cool lugged steel Italian racing bike.

2013 Lugged Marinoni

Pretty nice.  This frame has all the classic details, fork crown, seatstay caps, threaded headset, that you didn't necessarily get on the last official era of Marinoni lugged frames.  Get a real seatpost and some alloy Ergos, and Giuseppe's your uncle.

Preyer

AL East

Yankees keeping it together into mid-May.  Not bad. 

Holy Sweet Jesus Fucking Shit, Twits Are EVERYWHERE

These fucking idiots don't know how anything fucking works.  Jesus.  They may not be as rich and self-selected as the Serotta Forum Twits™ but what the actual fuck.  These people don't know how college works, how FA works, how anything works.  And it sounds like the OP is lying about her kid or the two of them are just fucking idiots who should stay the fuck away from college.  How do these dipshits wipe their own asses.

Fun Neo-Vintage Fisking Of Joe Arpaio

Even if you don't believe in the death penalty, Sheriff Joe should have faced summary execution for what he did.  Or torture.  Whatevs.  But the Obama administration allowed this shit to go on, and the people of Arizona stood by like retards while this cocksucker Arpaio tortured people, so, FreeDumb!

Justin Amash Is A Conservative Republican

He's a libertarian dipshit but somehow does not love Trump.  That makes him a the biggest fucking idiot in the known universe.  Trump is very nearly the perfect Republican, and Justin Amash has a yuge problem now.

Bled Babys

Pssst, Kona Process 153 Al

Pretty cool bike. Support your local Kona dealer.  This is the proper alloy-framed version, 650b wheels.  It also comes in plastic and/or with 700c wheels if you are an asshole.

Twits Don't Know Nothing, Johnny Snowball

Oh, fuck me.  These idiots are the wealthy white bike enthusiasts?  Really.  Fantastic.

Kick Me Martin Hannett

The End Of The Grumpy Cat Situation

At least the poor cat won't be bothered any more.  You hope the world will survive.  And that somebody besides Owl Eyes will show up to the funeral.  If the Dems don't nominate Sanders and Trump is reelected, the Trump years will have lasted longer than Grumpy Cat.  Sad.  Thanks, Hillary!

When A Boy Libertarian And Loyal Bezos Pissboy Like Dave Weigel Retweets A Neoliberal Numbskull Like Jonathan Chait, It Makes You Wonder If He CAN Read Matt Taibbi Or Anything Else

Chait is nothing more than a hopeless shithead, but I don't think Dave Weigel does so good with the reading.  Matt Taibbi's piece is very simple, very straightforward: there is no establishment opposition to Imperial America.  Duh.  Every one of the candidates except for possibly Tulsi Gabbard have been in lockstep with the prevailing DC establishment, and that is not a peace platform.  All these sanctions, Venezuela, Iran, Syria, are acts of war, and that's before you get to the drone wars and actually shooting wars that the US is fighting in hundreds of places around the world.  Jesus, you can't expect any better of Jonathan Chait--he's a fucking neoliberal retard and utter imbecile--but the same is true for Weigel and his ilk.  Taibbi is self-evidently correct in his thesis, but that won't stop the fucking scum from squealing out more and more proof.

Rat-Eyed Motherfucker Scott Walker Will Never Be Dignified Enough To Be A Corn Cob

Scott Walker will always be a greasy cocksucker, though.  That's his skill.  And Koch sucking.  And teabagging.

Scott Lemieux, Who Got Fired From A Tenured Job At A Non-Competitive Private College, Is, Like Erik Loomis, Also Not The Smartest Boy

But oh my lords he's an enthusiastic Obama fluffer and thirsty, thirsty pissboy.  Obama got sodomized by the GOP.  Garland was a shit candidate for the court.  And Obama was not trying to beat the GOP.  Mostly because Obama was a rock-ribbed conservative himself, a corporatist, a neoliberal, to the right of Eisenhower, and he didn't really give a shit about civil rights, abortion, or any of it.  After getting buttfucked by McConnell for a year, Obama sure as shit should have made that recess appointment, but it shouldn't have been Garland.  He should have placed Ralph Nader or Noam Chomsky or a truly notorious woman of color on the fucking court just to watch the GOP go apoplectic and give that person a yuge fucking platform to shit all over Trump and the Republicans.  That's what I would have done.  That's probably what President Sanders would have done.  You know FDR would have rained hell fire on a shitbag pussy like McConnell.  But not Obama.  And not the dimwit Obama flufflers like Scotty Lemieux.

Keep in mind that Lemieux was tenured at some shitty little college in Albany but got canned because none of the students wanted to take his dumb classes; his is the incisive analysis the establishment Dems enjoy.

Kinky Cover

Kiss Me Martin Hannett

Transition Patrol Alloy

Pretty fucking sweet for a complete bike.  Nicer spec than the Kona.  Comes in plastic too, in case you are a fucking dipshit.

Bernie Sanders: Abortion Is A Right

Pretty simple.  No bullshit neoliberal equivocation.  Abortion is a right.  Bernie supports health care for all.  Bernie supports health care for women.  Bernie supports health care for pregnant people.  Bernie supports health care for men.  So how come nitwits like Sady Doyle and Rebecca Schoenkopf and Imani Gandy and all rest aren't supporting Bernie.  Weird.  Could it be that all their abortion histrionics are not entirely genuine?

Yo, Dems, Win Elections: Abortion Is Health Care

It's almost like the Dems don't think women have a right to health care. It's almost like the Dems are fine not beating Republicans.  That's fucking odd.  Why would you want not to win at all costs against the vile conservative people in the other major party who hold such evil positions like banning abortion.  So, Dems don't believe women should control their own bodies and don't have the same right to health care that men do.  Dems must agree with the GOP cocksuckers that women are less than equal citizens.  OK.  Makes more sense that way.  Dr. Leah Torres continues to be all over this shit.  Cuz if the Dems wanted a way to make sure no Republican would ever win an election at any level again, standing against the barbarians in the GOP over this abortion atrocity would be a surefire way.

Btw, this is the excellent article linked by Dr. Torres discussing the medical versus bullshit terminology used when discussing pregnancy and all that yucky stuff.  Ew, girls, gross.

Also, too: Dr. Torres is pretty fucking cool.  She'd make an excellent Surgeon General.

Midge Ure Had One Of The Most Punchable Faces In Bristish Pop

Erik Loomis Was Never The Smartest Boy

Even before his head goes on that pike outside the Sanders White House.  Loomis cannot, must not, see that Bernie's Fox "News" town hall special was a yuge victory for Sanders, giving him a great deal of material to use later in the race once the pretenders are winnowed away.  Loomis knows very well from whose piss bucket he's drinking.

On the other hand, I think the entire Democratic and points left cohort should have canceled Fox "News" starting in 1996, refusing to play with that wrinkly fucker at all.  Especially Obama, he was the worst of them and could have really done some damage to Fox and Murdoch if he'd had even one ball, so Warren is right on this, really.  But Bernie got a huge win from Fox, and self-important doofs like Erik Loomis can't ever understand that.  Their salaries depend on it.

Reign After

Wicked Huge Kvale

1989 fade paint. Heh, indeedy.

Do You Think Neoliberal Assholes Like Sady Doyle Regret Supporting Hard-Line Right-Wingers Like Hillary Clinton Now?

Or are they just too fucking stupid?  I endorse "too fucking stupid" based on the fact that Sady Doyle exists.  But being a shill for Hillary Clinton and all the rest of the right wing Dems sure worked out well for Sady and all her friends.  Glad that all those dipshits were so worried about dumb television shows, too.  Genius.

Watch MAGAtards Attempt To Process Trump Toxicity

Sad.  The diphsits at Free Re-Pubic just can't figure out why Trump's flagship resort is failing.  Probably aliens.

Apropos Of Nothing In Particular, That Sorry Psycho Freddie deBoer Was Right About Ta-Nehisi Coates

And all those fuckfaces like Farley and his commenters and Sady Doyle and Imani Gandy and John Cole And Josh Marshall and the rest of the welfare academics, Obama fluffers, Hillary deadenders and neoliberal pissboys and pissgirls have been outed as utter morons; the imbecilic praise of the shallow careerist Ta-Nehisi Coates is not exactly evergreen, either.  DeBoer is/was a doofus, but jesus, he was just another one of those preening idiot failsons like Robert Farley.  Just because deBoer was a more conventional nutjob and shattered into a million pieces while Farley continues to be a productive pissboy for the US military doesn't mean that much at the end of the day.  They all suck.

Town Talk

No Friend Of Thurston's

If You Can't Have That LegendTi Asshole Or That Centaur Fuckface, This Is The Ultimate Twit

Johnny Galt here is 150% for competition dude.  Let's take a guess or two about this galaxy brain very stable genius white guy.  Lives in parent's house?  Probably.  Or got the money from his family to pay for school and then a down payment on a house.  C student?  Talentless failson?  Definitely.  White, obviously.  Lives in low-intensity, low-cost flyover country.  Got his job if he has one from family or family connections?  Of course.  Never had to do anything for himself or excel at anything but still thinks he's a superior success?  Blames women, affirmative action, Democrats, foreigners for every time he wasn't picked?  You know it.  Big supporter of Trump and the GOP?

After J.J. Abrams And Rian Johnson, Who Could Be Left To Totally Fuck Up Star Wars?

The dumbs tits and dragons guys! Brilliant!  Nice.  George Lucas looks like a genius more every day.

This Unhinged Moron Is Also A Rock-Ribbed MAGAtard QAnon Republican

Only the best people.  Only the best anti-abortion racist screaming lunatic conservatives love Trump.  Where they go one, they all go fucking nuts jerking off aliens.

Past Passed

Candice Aiston, Sady Doyle, Imani Gandy Will Always Be Awful Human Garbage

Yes, it's fun to drag those dumb cunts over the stupid tits and dragons show, pissing on them for being heinous imbeciles, but let's not forget these neolib shitheads are truly dangerous and hateful right-wing scum.  Doyle, Gandy, Aiston and their ilk are far worse than any toothless inbred white trash MAGAtard.

The Community Of Baggatron Cocksuckers, Like Those Sorry Motherfuckers On Free Re-Pubic, Are Frighteningly Stupid

These vile cretins are literally too dumb to live.  They clearly can't understand even elementary school science concepts, can't read, can't think, and can't be be taught.  Free Re-Pubic is a self-selecting group of hateful racist morons who need to removed from our society permanently if we are to have any hope at all.

Dave Weigel Will Never Stop Guzzling That Piss

Purported political reporter apparently doesn't know how Washington works.   Weird.  Or is he always just slurping that piss hoping to get a treat from his lord and master?  Or is Dave Weigel really nothing more than a libertarian fucktard?  We may never know the answer to these questions, but tune in next time for another exciting episode of Bullshit, or Not?

Funny How People Took So Long To Notice The Dumb Tits And Dragons Show Was Dumb

Whoops.  I guess the pile on has become a pile off.  Between the show guys having no fucking clue what the fuck they were doing and the cast getting paid a fucking packet at this point, HBO decided to wrap that shit up toot sweet, and well, it shows.  Hey, indeedy.  Sad.  Thanks, Trump.

Josh Marshall: Deep Thinker

Big brain on that Josh Marshall.  Imagine a piss guzzling neolib careerist like Josh Marshall saying Biden will be the nominee.  Incisive analysis!  One big problem: Joe Biden has never made it to the end of primary campaign, and there's no reason to believe he will now.  Marshall even has the truth right in his own post and can't (or won't) see it: Biden's bounce has come from Bernie support, and when Biden drops out, well, that clears the field for Bernie to be the nominee.  Not difficult to figure out.

All 4 X

Yellow Dreesens

Stainless.  His website/blog hasn't been updated in seven years.

Every Man In The Trump Family's Hottest Fantasy

They wish.  Sad.  Thanks, Trump!

This Dumb Podcast Did Not Even Last Until The Orville Was Renewed

Sad.  How can you be a huge ST fan and hate one of the better ST shows?  People suck.

Abe Greenwald, The Bad Greenwald, Vile Smear Of Human Filth, And Corn Cob

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Dave Weigel, Highly Paid Pissboy, Does Not Understand Why Biden Has Almost Certainly Guaranteed Bernie The Nomination

Biden won't be in the race a year from now. Probably not two months from now.  For whatever reason, Biden is the second choice of lots of Dem voters, even Bernie supporters, and Bernie is the second choice for most of the Biden voters, so by getting into the race, Biden has locked in a huge chunk of support for Bernie.  When Biden fades out, as he always does, and sooner rather than later, much of his support will go to Bernie, and that is game over.  Probably the best looking ticket is Warren/Inslee, but the probable pairing of Sanders/Inslee, even though they are both white dudes, is a the best choice right now.  Dave Weigel will never understand this because his salary depends on him not understanding this.  And because he's a fucking mushhead. 

Quiet Quiet

Jesus Christ, Duncan, Don't Call The Fucking Cops

Do you wanna get someone killed?  Even if you're all white and shit like Atrios, never get the police involved.  They do not work for you; they are not on your side.

Florida Man Matt Gaetz

An exceptional American.  Matt Gaetz is truly the best the GOP has to offer.

Open'd Fire

Silver Dreesens Track Frame: Wicked Sano

No fluff on this sled.

The Intercept Does Journalism And Confuses The Fuck Out Of Politico

It's amazing that Politico can't recognize journalism in any sense.  This says more about America than most people know.  In the last 40 years, political journalists have become millionaires and media stars and television personalities and as such ceased to be journalists.  There's no reporting anymore, only preening and ass-kissing and dutiful stenography.  Politico can't comprehend Ryan Grim and The Intercept because they don't exist in the same universe.

Nobody Likes Nate Silver

Silver would have much better off if he'd learned how make a friend at some point.  But I guess we will just have to enjoy kicking him in the nutsack.

Dave Grohl Is Having All The Fun As A Rockstar

Grohl was genius-adjacent a while ago, but when he runs the show it's all fun and breezy little pop songs and Kiss guy.  Good for him.

Hanna Trudo Might Not Be The Sharpest Bulb On The Tree

Hanna Trudo apparently does not know how Congress works.  Does she really believe Ro Khanna's support for his ally in the House represents some sort of repudiation of Bernie Sanders?  Is she really that obtuse?  I mean, I guess she is, or else why would she say something this fucking dumb in public.  Christ, the Daily Beast has always been shallow right-wing douchebro bullshit, but fuck.

Fun Video Fisking Of Creepy Nate Silver

Nate Silver is a weird little man.  Like most pop political media favs, see Todd, Chuck and Weigel, Dave and about a billion others, Silver was a complete zero and is now just slobbering piss for tips from the bosses.  Sad.

Ben Shapiro Gets Brutalized By Some Right-Wing Limey Fuckbrain

And cruelly drive-by fisked by Glenn Greenwald.  Just another normal day for exceptional American nitwit the Virgin Ben.

Picture From The Future: AOC In Charge

When this comes true for reals, it will be the end of the GOP.  Thank gods.

Sonical Youths

Theem'd

Red Dreesens

These Dreesens frames are exactly what racing-style road frames should be.  Super clean lugs, OS tubing, flat crown, single color paint.  All business, no plastic bullshit, just a made to measure steel road racing frame.  Yes.

This Elegant, Brutal Deboning Of Pete Buttigieg Is The Most Important Fisking You Will Read All Year

Nathan J. Robinson dismantles the creepy, neoliberal cartoon character that is Mayor Pete Bootygig with a sublime cruelty rarely encountered but so often proper when discussing the vile American right-wing political establishment.  Bootygig is another neoliberal American politician like Barack Obama who is so much less than even the sum of the tawdry, nasty parts.  At a time when solutions are needed, Bootygig is an eager servant of the ruling class, and Robinson cuts him up into small quivering chunks and leaves him for the dogs.  Brilliant!

Some People Just Scream To Be Canceled

This vile petty fascist shithead is certainly one.  Reza Pahlavi is an even bigger embarrassment for Williams than Mika Brzezinski and Erin Burnett

The Impotent Racist Baggatron Cocksuckers At Free Re-Pubic Literally Are Going To Get Killed Off By Bernie Sanders

These screeching racist white trash deadenders will wind up killing themselves after Bernie beats Trump.  It will be a glorious day, day and a half, for entertainment as these vile fuckers eat bullets or hang themselves knowing all the people they hate have won.  Sad.  Thanks, Trump!

Jerry Falwell Jr. And His Pool Boy Can't Party Like Jerry Falwell And His Momma In The Outhouse

Junior is a fucking piker compared to his daddy, even with the pool boy doing downright vile things to Jerry Falwell Jr. while his wife takes pictures.

Dave Weigel Is Legit Retarded--Or Drunk On Bezos Piss

Never does Weigel talk about polls, which are all not especially useful this early and more so after the Biden announcement and subsequent right-wing media orgasm, where Bernie leads, but holy fuck, you have to be fucking slurping a shit ton of piss to be this obtuse.  Jesus.  Does Bezos threaten these poor bastards daily with summary shitcanning if Bernie wins?

Boys With

Bobbers Crafts Hoar Mon Grrr

Bwhahahahahahahhahahahahhah.  Another brain genius magatard too stupid to not get arrested.  Bob Kraft, besides being rich and famous, was also famous and rich and certainly didn't need to go to Jupiter Florida rub-and-tug joint to find a prostitute.  Apparently he couldn't spell E-S-C-O-R-T-S-E-R-V-I-C-E.  Sad.  Thanks, Trump.

Vintage Purple And Silver Dreesens

Vintage!  1010B rear dropouts, downtube shifter bosses, threaded headset, and semi-sloping fork crown.  Clearly non-OS tubing.  And those Avocet tires really did look like tubulars back in the day.  Dig the pedals, too.

Trump's Taxes Expose His Hilarious Failures And Stunning Incompetence

The Dems should be doing everything they can to get Trump's taxes in front of every American.  Of course, since they're Dems, they won't and a yuge political weapon will sit untouched.  Trump never made any money, was never a success, never rich, but until the Dems expose his tiny, mushroom-headed dick to the world, he will be able to lie and say he's a very handsome and well-hung billionaire.  As usual, the Dems are acting like winning beating the GOP is not their top priority.

Every Day And In Every Way, Baggatron Cocksuckers Will Always Be Dumber Than Dog Shit

Dumber than dog shit.  It doesn't matter whether it is the racist white trash life losers on Free Re-Pubic or the screeching grade-Z white nationalist insanity from the American Spectator, conservatives will always be the most risible shitheads in the known universe.  Sad.  Thanks, Trump!

Un-Punk

A Blue Dreesens

Flat fork crown. Nice.

Twits Are Useless

Cycling is their hobby, they have great wealth and privilege, yet they do not understand basic concepts around for a fucking century.  Are all white people this hopeless?  Upper-class Serotta Forum twits are a hell from which we shall never escape, I fear. 

Triceratops, Si. Racist Statues, No.

This little idea would truly make America greater again.  Weird cartoon triceratops statues truly memorialize greatness!

Stanford Jr. University Wants To Remind You That Not Quite All The Fucking Morons Are At Harvard

Big brain stuff right here from a Stanford Law School guy.  I mean, they write like one of your less talented sixth graders, but Ari Hoffman goes to Stanford, so that tells you too much about Stanford.  Sad.  Thanks, Trump!

Pete Booty-Gig Is A Dummy Who Happens To Be The Kind Of Dummy Who Looks Brilliant To Utter Fuckheads

Mayor Pete is also a smarmy racist neoliberal asshole, but don't tell the Gossip Kids!  Ashley Reese is on the right track here, and the gossip kid commenters are so fucking hopeless.  Good thing Booty-gig will never be president of anything.

Gun Culture

Nice Shoutout To The Code Pink Folks By Carl Beijer

Code Pink turned out to be the only ones who really were in it for the long hall.  Medea Benjamin kept going long after most anti-war folks moved on to less stressful endeavors. 

Almost Unbelievable Story Of Sarah Lawrence's Shabby Sex Cult

What the fuck is wrong with people?  Go to fucking class, kids.  Do your work and don't let your friend's dad watch you fuck.  What else?  Don't fuck your friend's dad.  That's a good one.  Don't listen to fat old toothless losers.  That's another one.  Get better grades and go to Middlebury or Union.  That's probably the best answer.  But of course Bernie Kerik is wrapped up in this tawdry inanity. 

Dave Weigel Is A Numbskull

Drinking all that Bezos piss melts your brain, obviously.  Libertarians are all fucking imbeciles.

Contemporary Adulting

Roland Della Santa RIP

72 years old and framebuilding since 1970.  A master now gone.

For Years Larry Tribe Skated Along By Being Less Of A Screaming Evil Cocksucker Than Alan Dershowitz

But those days are gone now, and Tribe is quickly morphing into a corn cob.

Isn't Drew Magary A Washout At Boarding School, College, Football, Drinking, Healthy Circulation, Literature, Life?

Not to stand up for Vampire Weekend, cuz, duh, but Drew Magary is nothing more than a washed up washout at this point.  Magary failed at boarding school, bullying, football, college, writing, drinking, and robust cardiovascular health.  Being a rich kid spoiled brat douchebro failson blowhard is not a good look generally.  Especially for a Gossip Kid.  The silly shoutout to Bob Mould at the end is just fucking pathetic.  Magary should hit his head one more time and save the rest of us from him.  Vampire Weekend is fine, but they're a fuck of a lot better at being obnoxious over-privileged Ivy League rich kids than Margary could ever manage.  Jealousy.  That's the word he was looking for.  Envy.  That's another one.  Kbye.

Thor's Too

Greater Barnaby

Perhaps Nate Silver Being America's Greasiest Punching Bag Will Make America Greater Again

Aspy dipshit Nate Silver obviously never learned how to make a friend.  Nobody can stand the fucking guy.  Sad.  Nate Silver will be a Trump guy soon; all the friendless losers find solace in being a MAGAtard.

Even Hitler's Girlfriend Candace Owens Is Fucking Sick Of All The Winning

So much motherfucking winning.  If there's nothing left for conservatives dipshits, they will still have the winning sickness.  Bye, Felicia Hitler.  Heh indeedy.

The Gossip Kids Political Club Ladies Auxiliary Is Just Now Realizing Bernie's Been At This For A Long Time

It must be a shock to learn that at least one national politician has been pretty fucking consistently better than the average bear for a few decades now.  Plain old boring common-sense centrist Bernie has always been and always will be.  The Gossip Kids in general usually sound like they started paying attention to this shit 2-3 years ago, so...

Barnaby The Lesser

Gaulzetti Bikes Can't Still Be A Thing

No longer a thing was like four years ago.  Weird.  There's still a website, sorta, but I can't kick the full of shit cult of personality vibe.  Atmo.

Is There An Uglier Pack Of Inbred Limey Cocksuckers Than The House Of Windsor?

Fucking vile, the lot of them.  Tony Blair should have let Gerry Adams take care of those vermin once and for all as part of the Good Friday agreement.

Stephen Moore, Another Big Brain Very Stable Conservative Genius So Sick Of All That Winning

Trump only hires the best people. Best. People.  Now loony little racist fuckstick Stephen Moore can go back to his wingnut welfare sinecure and help empty the pissbuckets at Fox "News" down his throat.

D-Side

This Is Truly Wonderful News About The Scientology Boat

There are no gods, but Xenu is definitely more fake than all the other ones.  Could we maybe crowdfund 2-3 torpedoes or possibly some dive bombers?  Send that plague ship where it belongs.

Maybe You Remember This Soonergrunt Idiot From Former Republican John Cole's Ballon Juice Blog

Soonergrunt was some sort of neoliberal mush-headed junkie the last time I read that blog a decade ago or whatever.  Apparently things never change when you're a giant dickhead, aka conservative Dem, but then again, when you're a braying asshole like Soonergrunt, you are pretty much always wrong.

But holy shit, why are these neolib establishment assholes still all bent about the Mueller report?  Mueller is a life-long Republican and bowel movement conservative.  He lied during the run up to the Iraq invasion.  He was head of the fucking American secret police for christ's sake!  The Soonergrunts and Rachel Maddows of the world really thought Robert Mueller was their savior?  Have they not been paying attention since 2015 at least?  Trump is obviously corrupt.  He's obviously a criminal.  He barkingly, hilariously incompetent.  The Dems didn't need Mueller to take down Trump, but they were such idiots and such coward that they couldn't dare.  That's Taibbi's point.  The Mueller report didn't result in the indictment of Trump or his kids because the entire Russia story was mostly incompetence made manifest.  But the plenty of shit is real, and nobody in the establishment media said boo about it for years because Russia Russia Russia. 

Sure, Bill Barr is a slimeball conservative and also a bowel movement conservative who also happens to be friends with Mueller.  Of course Barr shilled for Trump.  But that's only a surprise to junky stooges like Soonergrunt.

Josh Marshall's Mommy Sends Him Letters

Also he is a smart nice and very handsome boy.  Or what if that letter is legit.  What if someone so tedious and shallow and wretched really did exist and was horrible enough to kiss Josh Marshall's flabby ass.  Holy fuck, no wonder Hillary lost.

May Day Funfetti

Nazis and Proud Boys and conservatives are pests to be eradicated.

Now Let's Hope Guaido Is Executed For Treason

Maduro should have all the traitors shot, but he probably won't because it would only create more chaos and result in more innocent Venezuelans dead.  Still, would be so lovely to see those fuckers swing for what they've done to their country on behalf of the friendly neighborhood USA.

Pablo's