Did You Realize That Space Aliens Are Demons From Literal (Completely Imaginary) Hell In Disguise?

Didja?  No, you didn't see the truth till now?  That's okay, cuz this inspiring polymath genius Jefferson is here to finally explain the truth to you!  Hooray!  See jesus is really behind all this alien shit, and jesus is here and very real and not at all the figment of some especially scabrous lunatics' imaginations, and jesus will explain it all to you.  And Jefferson will help you write a book that will make jesus make a mess in his jesus pants.  I guess that means that Rodney "Cock" Johnson finally has some competition in the running to be the world's worst living author!  Hooray!