Every Decent American Should Be Chowing Down On All The Sausage And Cabbage And Beer So We Can Go To Washington And Take Great Rancid Shits All Over Billy Graham

That vile racist cocksucker deserves nothing less than the putrid shit of every decent American squeezed out all over his ugly carcass while he's lying there in Washington like a fucking asshole.  Graham was easily one of the worst men who ever lived, as bad as Ronald Reagan, Adolph Hitler, Dick Cheney, Winston Churchill, and Billy Ray Cyrus. 

Hateful Racist Gnome Jeff Sessions Feeling Pretty Fucking Sick Of All The Winning

Evil little shitbag Jeff Sessions is getting schooled in winning by motherfucking Trump.  Sessions probably thought he knew what winning was before Trump showed him the truth.  Fucking genius.  Thanks, Trump.

Hope Hicks! Winning!! MAGA!!!

Say goodbye to the little tramp.  Hope Hicks knows winning!  So much motherfucking winning!  MMAAAGGGGAAAAA!  Slut.

Bloody Roses

Jared Kushner: Now There's One Dumb Motherfucking Bastard Getting Real Sick Of All The Winning

Heh, indeedy.  Stupid-looking doofus and all-around incompetent slimeball Jared Kushner gets deboned in pubic while the whole world makes fun of him!  Thanks, Trump!

All The Winning Is Really Starting To Suck For Hope Hicks

Winning may be more than just tiring very soon for Trump's second-favorite little tramp.  I'm sure Hicks has already been or is about to be caught in a lying-to-the-FBI trap and will be very sick of winning when Mueller comes knocking.

Hateful Conservative Racist Fuckfaced Idiots Ruin Everything, Twits Edition

Of course, the twist is that the over-privileged twit cohort is where the ignorant conservatives rule because anyone else is usually equally clueless AND a yuge pussy. 

Hamilton Nolan At His Best On Organized Labor

Good.  Nolan gets it, atmo.  He's the best of the gossip kids.  And he's right.  Labor's final demise will be way more damaging to what's left of American society than most of the proles out there will ever understand--even as it's happening.  To them. 

Make & Bake

Jay Inslee: Now There's One Motherfucker Who's Not Sick Of Winning Against Trump

The orange shitgibbon in chief looks super fucking sick of all the winning as Gov. Inslee turns Trump into a beta cuck loser right there in front of everyone.  Nice job, Jay Inslee!

Noted Tough Guy And Super Hero Cadet Bone Spurs Will Rush Into Any School Shooting And Kick The Gunman In The Nutsack

Saving lives.  Count on it.  Trump's not a pussy or fucking beta cuck loser or anything.

Placemat

Washed-Up GOP Pissgirl Mona Charen Getting Pretty Fucking Sick Of All The Winning

Hateful conservative and braying moron Mona Charen has learned a hard lesson about winning tasting just like a steaming shit sandwich.  Thanks, Trump!

Serotta Forum Twits Still Sucking The Dick Of That Vile Dead Felon Jack Brunk

Absolutely disgusting.  Not one of those sick fucks had the guts to mention how that felon Brunk had all the money to buy bike shit because his criminal enterprise was stealing from sick people, poor people, and health insurance companies--and money laundering!  "Nice Pegoretti you have there Jack.  Was it expensive?  So cool you have lots of money for bike shit and expensive cars.  Where'd you get it?"

Jack Brunk was nothing but a thief and his death should have been applauded, not mourned.  The cowardly shitheads on the Serotta Forum have never been lower.

Go Van

Michael Steele: Exceptional American Asshole

Any black who is a Republican deserves everything they get.  Michael Steele can go fuck himself.

You Think Jacob Wohl Is The Pizza-Faced Idiot Son Of A Fox News Pissboy And Not Worthy Of A Brutal Drive-By Fisking?

You are so very wrong.  Wohl's greasy anus face and screaming inanity are the perfect targets of a vicious drive-by fisking.  Thanks, Ms. Lavin.

Example Eleventy Billion That Shitbag Establishment Dem Assholes Would Rather Lose Than Win

Hillbot fucktard.  Hillbot fucktards hate the nation's most popular politician.  Hillbot fucktards are scared shitless of even the most anodyne center-left policies AND politicians.  Hillbot fucktards are every bit the rock-ribbed conservative racist motherfuckers that the most inbred, web-toed, toothless teabaggers are.  Fuck them in the eye hole till they die.

Risible Dipshit Dana Rohrabacher Is About To Get Real Fucking Sick Of All The Winning

Being a heinous conservative fuckhead like Dana Rohrabacher is very soon about to be nothing at all about winning!  Rohrabacher has always been a fatuous cocksucker, but Mueller is fixing to fillet that stupid bastard.  Thanks, Trump!

Glenn Haab, Lying NRA Cocksucker, Is Getting Sick Of Winning Pretty Fucking Quick

That poor dimwit conservative racist gun nut asswipe Haab couldn't figure out how to tell a lie without getting caught within five seconds.  That's pretty typical NRA behavior.  Thanks, Trump!

O Th

Rick Gates, Now There's One Motherfucker Sick Of All The Winning

So sick.  Gates was probably very confused about what Trump meant about winning.  I'm sure he's sick about now.  Winning!  Thanks, Trump!

Trouble In Rivland

Them twits are on it!  Rivendell would have been fine if they'd started with and continued to sell an RB-Zip frame and an MB-Zip frame along with the other weird shit they sell.  Zathras woulda told 'em if they asked.

The Most Important Song

Winning! Shitbag Missouri Governor Led Out In Handcuffs! So Much Fucking Winning!

Attn Donald Trump: This is what winning looks like when you're a Republican!  Led away like a fucking scumbag while everybody laughs.  Heh, indeedy.  Greitens was arrested right there in front of everybody in the courthouse like a beta cuck loser.  So much winning.  So fucking sick.  Thanks, Trump!

Scot Peterson: A Beautiful Patriot Good Guy With A Gun NRA Big Man Blue Lives Matter Hero

Ouside. Having a smoke.  On a break.  Otherwise detained.  Busy.  On an important call.  Taking care of something.  Thanks, Trump!

Good Ideas Never Die

Centrist Dems Are Hopeless Stupid Right-Wingers

The center of the Democratic Party is a nasty, clueless, neoliberal conservatism that is absolutely fucking hopeless.  The General fucks with another worthless airhead rock-ribbed Dem because why not.  Carry on, General.

Ryan Grim Fisks Emily's List

An essential truth: The Democratic Party would rather lose than change.  Emily's List is absolutely part of the Dem establishment, so preservation of the status quo comes before any consideration of winning an election or changing the focus of the party. 

Cute Animal Songs

Bill O'Reilly Is Still A Miserable Shitbag

Risible loser will O'Reilly always be.

It's good that the gossip kids are doing everything they can to fuck with O'Reilly in perpetuity. 

Wait, What? That Hateful Racist Fuckbag Billy Graham Was Still Alive?

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Upperclassmon

Twits As Hopheads: It's A New America

Over-privileged dweebs will never be stopped.  Inanity is their true religion.  And everyone likes to get high.  Thanks, Jerry!

Jumpinjive

Maybe Rachel Crooks Will Teach Trump A Hard Lesson About Winning

Wouldn't it be wonderful if Rachel Crooks became not-at-all sick of boatloads of winning in Ohio?  Trump told us we'd all be sick of so much winning, but I'm pretty sure he had no idea what was going to happen to him.  Thanks, Crooks!

Kentucky's Linda Belcher Is Not One Bit Sick Of Winning, Or Bob's Burgers

Linda Belcher wins!  If the Dems somehow manage to not fuck it up, this election cycle will be quite entertaining.  Thanks, Trump!

Glenn Greenwald Unloads A Brutal Drive-By Fisking Of The Not-At-All-Liberal MSNBC

That was easy.  It's more than fair to say that most Americans have no idea what their government has done to manipulate elections in other countries, whether it be this month, this year, this decade, this century.  America is the foremost terrorist nation and the foremost destroyer of self-rule on the planet.  Fuck YEAH!

Uncle Clarence Thomas Probably Getting Sick Of Winning Now

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Lownslow

Meanwhile, How Long Now Till The Nasty Little Creepster Al Giordano Deletes His Twitter?

It ain't goin' so good for him over there now.  Heh.  He's getting his nutsack gnawed off.  This is good stuff.  I hope Bernie and Jill Stein are taking a little bit of satisfaction from it all.

SHOCKING NEWS!! Greasy Neoliberal Loser And Hillary Fluffer Al Giordano Is A Disgusting Creep!

SHOCKED!  This shit NEVER happens!  Pathetic creepy losers are never disgusting harassers!  I can't believe it.  Al Giordano!  How's that campaign against Sen. Sanders going??

BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHH

And Counting

Bring Back The Norlin Era

Who knew that over-charging for shoddy guitars--along with a shitload of idiotic acquisitions and a generation of vile, union-busting management--would ever be a problem?  Now Gibson needs fuck itself again so it can get back to making sloppy, over-priced guitars for dentists.  Thanks, Trump!

Decent Juan Cole On The Idiot-Fascism Of Trump And His Dumb Speech

Even CIA groupies get it right some times.  Cole was all over Trump and his stupid SOTU speech.  The only good things about Trump are his unbelievable ignorance and his comical incompetence.  Were Trump even barely functional as a leader, the whole world would be fucked beyond belief.

That Greasy Fucker Evan Dando Didn't Even Write 'The Outdoor Type'

The one Lemonheads song I kinda like for real, and it's not even him.  I guess that's why I like it.  Otherwise, Dando can go fuck himself.  Die, Evan Dando, Die.  Even in 2018, it would be worth it.  Fucker.

Trump Date Is A Beautiful Exceptional Hannidate For The 21st Century

Thanks, Trump.

Poiple

Rick Gates: Holy Shit That Motherfucker Is Sick To Death Of Winning

TO DEATH! Or at least a plea.  Who knew that Trump would be so amazingly fucking right about sick and winning?  Thanks, Trump!

American Hero Dr. Jill Stein With A Massive Drive-By Fisking Of Joy Reid

Boom.  Maybe, just maybe Joy Reid doesn't really give a shit about Jill Stein but really, really wants to fluff up Hillary's shitball campaign while deflecting focus on the loss to fatuous orange shitgibbon.

Susie Madrak: Neoliberal Useful Idiot

Sad.  Madrak and other neoliberal establishment Dems may not be stupid enough to believe that Green Party voters would have voted for a shitbag like Hillary Clinton, but they sure as shit want their idiot followers to believe it.  Madrak is slurping the piss from her bucket with gusto, praying for a seat on the bus riding into media estabishment idiot village.  What would her friend Joe Bageant have thought of such shameless neoliberal inanity?

PARKLAND FALSE FLAG UNMASKED!

Beautiful American patriots have unmasked the false flag in Parkland, Florida!  Thank jesus fucking christ that all the exceptional American geniuses have foiled Obama's plan to steal your white christian guns and give them to fucking no-good black niggers!  The deep state will not win as long as we suck jesus' cock night and day with beautiful exceptional American patriotic gusto and gulp down his holy jizz with glee!!!

No Fall I

Your "No Shit" Of The Century: USA Swimming Fucked Up Their Abuse Problem

SHOCKED!  How could it be that an organization could fail to protect kids from creeps and perverts?  WON'T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN?

Political Song for Karen McDougal to Sing

It's A Twits World

Creepy, over-privileged dolts are just so tiring.  We should have replaced all the tree-bulbs this dim long, long ago.

Boo Kay

Cool Yeti FRO

Nice.  A real classic.

Wonderful Drive-By Fisking Of Preening Airhead Ta-Nehisi Coates

Fuck yeah! And saying that Cornel West wishes he wrote this is spot-on.  West has done valuable work to unravel Coates' bullshit, but this concise fisking excerpted on Twitter is fucking awesome.

Hearts And

Thank God For The Beautiful Brave Exceptional Freedom-Loving Patriot Who Showed His Love For The Consititution By Shooting Up That Florida School

Motherfucking wonderful 2nd Amendment patriots love our beautiful Constitution.  Only truly great Americans love freedom enough to slaughter school children with guns.  Only beautiful freedom fighters making America greater every day have the will to express their love for the right to suck the dick of the NRA and to be an insane gun nut teabagging asshole.  MAGA!  MAGA!!  MMAAAGGGGAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

Nazi-Adjacent Fuckstain Quinn Norton Is Obviously Sick Of Winning

So much motherfucking winning!  Because she was a girl who played with computers, this Norton dimwit thought she was so fucking smart, but instead she has exposed herself as just another soft-headed stooge who liked to pal around with other creepy cocksuckers, Nazi and otherwise.  So, back into your hole Quinn Norton.  You're nothing but another shallow, empty-headed fuckwit pretending to be intelligent.

Anti-Choice Women Are The Biggest Assholes In The Universe

Even bigger fuckstains than Trump voters.  Any woman demented enough to cede control of their reproductive freedom to jebus or a man or the government is so fucking horrible that they truly do not deserve to live.  Freedom to choose is the most important right any woman has.  Fuck these deranged monsters who can't see that.

Elizabeth Warren Is Going To Be A Great President

Of course, compared to Trump, Bush, Bush, Reagan, Nixon, even Obama and Clinton might seem alright.  Warren is good though, smarter than the average bear, and not so intent on sucking her own dick.  It'll be good, maybe better than good.

Sean Hannity's Secret Sperm

Santorum for the 21st century! MAGA!  That Sean Hannity is pretty fucking sharp, so now America is wise to the secret sperm.  That sperm can't hide from beautiful American patriots and exceptional tee vee guys!  Thanks, Trump.

Twang

Florida's James Buchanan Is Absolutely Sick Of Motherfucking Winning!

So he lost!  That's fucking brilliant!  Thanks, Trump.

PhotographerMom: This Is What A Vile Over-Privileged Cunt Looks Like

Sweet motherfrakking jesus christ on a skateboard, this woman is a vile slattern.  These sorts of heinous, over-privileged twits are fucking killing America.  Imagine, you get knocked up again because of a great round of golf and cocktails, then you hire a woman to help out, and send your kids to expensive schools!  Well, whoop-dee-fucking-doo!  Aren't you just special.  You're so rich and so fucking stupid.  This woman, assuming it's not really some creepy guy from a white power website trolling, is such a horrible person and is, unfortunately, the sort of clueless idiot you meet at expensive schools.  When the guillotines come out, I'll be smiling a little brighter after her head bounces off the pavement.

Protip: Montessori schools are stupid too.  And totally gay.

Or None

Pastor George Gregory Really Knows How To Party

Pastor Gregory sounds like a fun date.  I bet he knows all the kinky kinks and tricks.  Of course, that naked man in his front seat probably tied himself up.  Or maybe with the help of jesus. 

Vile Whore Georgette Mossbacher Is Exactly The Woman Trump Deserves

What a heinous bitch!  Too bad she's at least a hundred years too old to be the next Mrs. Trump.  She so hated having to drive around in American cars during Bush's losing campaign in 92.  Poor baby.

The Never-Ending Saga Of Discs On Road And Cross Bikes: So Dumb That Even The Twits See It

Wicked fuckin' dumb.  Cross bikes and road bikes are not mountain bikes.  The cheapo Shimano juice brakes work really frakking well on mountain bike trails but are insane overkill for the road.  And cross bikes are specialized racing machines where braking is not anything resembling the braking required on a general-use trail bike!  Jesus, people are fucking ijits.

Upsn Downz

Rachel Brand Is So Sick Of Winning That She'd Rather Work At Wal-Mart

Now that's fucking sick!  How much does Trump suck that even a life-long GOP tool like Rachel Brand would no longer want to painted with the stench of Trump's corruption?  Thanks, Trump!

By The Way, Heinous Nixon-Fluffer Monica Crowley Is Also A Huge Cunt

Monica Crowley is a scab on the anus of the universe.  She started her career by lovingly laving Nixon's scabrous fetid dick, and then she moved onto things even more repulsive on Fox "News".  Lucky for us everyone is still giving her a platform to puke up her insane lies. 

Start Now

Twits Will Never Be Denied Stupid

Gods damn, people are fucking thick.  Anybody who knows anything will tell you that where you get into college is almost entirely divorced from where you go to high school.  Yes, there are stunt admissions to Harvard and other shitty schools from the worst high schools and the most elite, but that's way less than one percent every year.  Some dipshit who gets into Princeton gets in whether they go to Andover or Greenwich High.  So what?

Hope Hicks Is Kind Of A Tramp

I guess a teabagging hosebag should not be anything out of the ordinary, but that woman sure knows how to fuck losers: Lewandowski, Porter, and probably Trump--and that's just at this one job!  She's never heard of discreet.  Or discrete.  Jesus.  Slut.

Always Inn

Paul Begley: Beautiful American Teabagging Patriot And Obvious Genius

Paul Begley is making sure jesus gets it the fuck done for America.  Begley is a beautiful gods-damned rocket surgeon, and we should all thank jeebus every motherfucking day this brilliant cocksucker is an American and not some commie asshole or anything working for the enemies of freedumb and shit.

David "Shut The Fuck Up You Stupid Bitch" Sorensen Is Sick Of Winning, But Sure Does Have A Pretty Mouth

Just like a little piggy.  He probably loved playing piggy in the woods of Maine.  Such an enthusiastic little piggy.  No wonder Sorensen has problems with women.  Piggy don't like any rivals for his pretty mouth.

Stryper Is The Risible Christian-Idiot Garbage America Deserves

At least this shit makes Steel Panther seem clever.  How the fuck old are these Stryper assholes now?  And where does Ted Cruz find the time to suck jesus' dick even more?

May The Twits Burn In The Hell Of Their Own Making, Please Jeebus

Ignorant, over-privileged scum.  Most people are vile, but the sorry sons of privilege have no excuse for not knowing anything about how the world really works.  Fuck them and the rest of pig-fucking teabaggers just like them.

The Searchers

Rob "Punchy-The-Mormon" Porter: Sick Of Winning, But Never Sick Of Punching Sluts

"Shut the fuck up, cunt, and make me a sammich!" is the new GOP motto! MAGA!!  I'm glad a wicked cool Mormon bro like Porter finally has a nice, obedient slut like Hope Hicks to fuck.  As long as she doesn't talk back, Porter will probably not punch her too much at all.  And if he has to smack her around here and there to remind her who's boss, well, that's making America greater again one punch at a time!  Porter is a conservative Mormon so he has direct permission from whatever stupid made-up god Mormons worship to kick the shit outa mouthy whores as needed, and he's a rock-ribbed GOP stalwart who worked for Orrin Hatch so he fits right in with the rest of the racist reactionary shitheads on the Trump team.  Thanks, Trump!

Mettle

Missouri Teabagger David C. Linton Is So Fucking Sick Of All The Winning That He Lost!

Thanks, Trump!  Mike Revis musta known that Linton was sick to fucking death of winning!  Way to go Revis.  Who knew that teabagging cocksuckers would get so sick of winning so fucking quickly?  Brilliant!

Trump Is A Bald Cunt

What a damaged, vain, little bald man Trump is.  That sad old man can't bear to face reality: he's a bald cunt.

Parts

Let's Celebrate The Day Reagan Died, June 5th, Instead

Fuck Reagan, that nasty old reactionary cocksucker.  His birthday sucks as bad as he did.  Let's celebrate the day he finally died, and then only be sad because it was 93 years too late!

When In Doubt, Work Like A Kraut

Hamno is on the case.  The Krauts may be horrible sausage-eating bastards, but they are just a wee bit smarter than Americans and actually understand how a successful economy works.  Unfortunately, Krauts also know about really sharp but oh so gay shiny leather jackboots and faggy little salutes, too.

Your Never Even The Slightest Bit Liberal Washington Post

The establishment is not and never was liberal.  The Washington Post was never a liberal paper but was always the mouthpiece for official Washington.  Any teabaggers who truly believe that is somehow liberal are too stupid to live.

Bootyfull

Michele Bachmann And Jesus: Way Too Fucking Sick Of All The Winning

Michele Bachmann and jesus are sick of all the fucking winning.  Obviously.  Sometimes too much winning starts to suck even for a gods-damned lunatic imbecile like Michele Bachmann!  Thanks, Trump.

Twits Today, Twits Tomorrow, Twits Forever, A Motherfucking Men

These are the rich white people who went to good schools in good neighborhoods with plenty of material luxuries their whole lives, yet they are mostly fucking helpless fucktards.  That's America.  Exceptional.

Diggit

Fuck The Patriots, Fuck Kraft, Fuck Belichick, Fuck Brady, Fuck Trump

For once the worst possible outcome doesn't actually happen.  That's making America greater again for real.  I guess the fucking Patsies were sick of all the winning.  Thanks, Trump!

Kathleen Hartnett? Sick Of Fucking Winning? Yes, And Fucking Nuts!

I think Trump might be gathering all these highly qualified teabaggers in one spot so some beautiful brave patriot can drop a fuel-air bomb on them all at once.  Too bad Kathleen Hartnett won't be there because she's sick of all the motherfucking winning!

Damn, Fred Mengoni Was 94! Nice Job, Man!

Mr. Mengoni died at the age of 94.  That's doing it right.  So what if he preferred Colnagos.  The dude was a true fan of bike racing and walked the walk. 

Mass Affect

When The Revolution Begins, Nobody Will Speak Up To Spare Paul Ryan

Ryan will face the mob with no defenders.  Sad but true.  On the upside, the guy making guillotines will be seeing a huge increase in his income, so it's all good.

Bre Payton Is At The Federalist Because She Might Be The Only Person On Earth Dumber Than Ben Domenech-McCain

Jesus, every single one of these things is wrong.  The teabaggers have created an alternate reality of braying insanity and believe they're the smart ones.  Nice going Kochs and Mellons and DuPonts and Coors and Olins and the rest of you assholes.  You took the barely-sentient dummies in your rock-ribbed GOP base and turned them into screaming morons.  Genius.

Pat Robertson Stroke? Maybe There Is A (Very Late) God!

Jesus fucking christ, jesus fucking christ, what took you so fucking long?  This fucking stroke is like 87 years too late, you rotten cocksucker.  No wonder nobody with an IQ above 5 believes in you!  Bastard.

The Beautiful Patriots At St. John's University Love America And Hate Duke

Duke losing is American greatness. The only real American greatness.  St. John's and jesus motherfucking christ are so generous with their love.  Thanks, Trump!

You've Got

Solo Trailer Drops Onto The Nerd Crew

Piers Morgan Is Not Sick Of Winning Or Sick Of Lovingly Licking Donald Trump's Anus

There's a man who has found his place.  Piers Morgan's place is with his tongue jammed into Donald Trump's asshole.  Thanks, Trump!

Froots

Jesus Fucking Christ On Toast, Why Wasn't Anyone In The White House Smart Enough To Stop This Inane Memo?

If any of those idiots had been smart enough to keep the actual memo a secret, then the GOP fuckfaces could have used that mystery to infer that the fucking thing was a scary, scary indictment of Democrats, commies, fags, minorities, women, Mexicans, Russians, weird-looking dog breeds, Trey Gowdy's malformed skull, any fucking thing.  Now that it is out, though, now anybody can see it's fucking dumber than Eric Trump.  I know that teabaggers ain't much on readin', but jesus, this was the worst move the Trump could have made.  This thing could have comforted their diseased true-believers for much longer, but now it's going to sink faster than Ivanka's modelling career.

Upper-Class Twits Are Making Us All Dumber

Most of these idiots have webbed toes and look like Trey Gowdy's retarded boyfriend.  Jesus.  This mentally helpless over-privileged cohort will be the death of everything.

Ben Carson? A Fucking Utter Moron, And Sick Of All The Winning!

Even the idiot "doctor" Ben Carson is sick of winning!  Something about Trump just makes winning and everything else sickening.  Better call a real doctor!  Thanks, Trump.

Hope Hicks Looking Pretty Fucking Sick Of That Winning

She might get real sick real quick of Trump's putrid "winning".  I'm betting that stupid fucking little airhead Hicks did not sign up for staring down an obstruction charge from the Mueller folks.  Nice going, moron.  Thanks, Trump!