It's Halloween Again!

This Year's Halloween Parade

Virag's Movie Reviews: This Is The End (2013)

Was Jay Baruchel's performance in this flick non-stop riffing on Christian Slater in Heathers?  If so, that would be the only mildly amusing thing on display there.  The rest was very sad, very boring and as far away as the dimmest stars from the cutting-edge, profane comedy the bozos who made the movie thought they were delivering.  This Is The End makes a very sad and demoralizing "comedy" double-feature with The Hangover Part 3; anyone looking forward to rerun of that double-feature needs professional intervention.  I guess the only good thing about this film is that Paul Giamatti was not "cool" enough to hang with these douchebags and make this movie even more stupid and annoying than it already is.

Pere Ubu, Catherine, Letterman, In Collusion

Virag's Movie Reviews: The Hangover Part 3 (2013)

I can't quite decide who looks more disgusted to be in the movie, John Goodman or Justin Bartha.  The genius who believed that the astoundingly unfunny and creepy duo of Zack Galifianakis and Ken Jeong could carry a movie comedy should probably be horsewhipped for the good of the species.  I guess the best you could say is that is has to be better than Part 2, since this Part 3 one doesn't have Paul Giamatti in it.

Police State Blame The Victim Time

A random sampling of familiar idiots, and while some of those fellers do take a properly jaundiced view of shit-for-brain cops playing at potentially deadly intimidation without any sane justification, the boot lickers and jock sniffers are pretty fucking disgusting.  In reality, being a police officer is not the deadly dangerous job in general that the cop fluffers would have you believe, and the cops should be held to a higher standard than the average citizen.  As long as the American people continue to take the abuse though, they'll continue to get it. 

Sarah Corina And Her Squier Bronco Bass

I love this picture for obvious reasons, but I love it even more because Ms. Corina is playing a Squier Bronco short scale bass with a pink Hello Kitty strap.  She's a professional musician, playing in the world's greatest rock and roll band, rocking one of the world's least expensive bass guitars.  That fucking kills.  I was searching for a short scale bass and picked the Ibanez Mikro because pink reasons, but seeing Sarah Corina rocking the Squier Bronco makes me laugh at all the jerkoffs poseurs who would never play anything that said "Squier" or "Epiphone" because those instruments are not good enough for likes of them in their grandma's basement or in their cheesy suburban middle-class cover band.  Real players can get great sound from almost anything, and apparently a 150 buck Bronco is good enough for some great musicians.  I want one of those straps, too.  She was using this strap at the Bell House and City Winery in 2011--probably this bass, too. 

Could Skakel Have Used A Worse Lawyer Than Mickey Sherman?

Mickey Sherman, somehow a famous lawyer, looks more like a cheap parody of a douchebag tee vee lawyer than some brilliant jurist.  Rough and tough, Skakel was convicted even though he was prevented by statute from facing trial on those murder charges in 2000.  Sherman should have had a slam dunk win, especially since Sherman had the reputation as a top-flite defense attorney.  Instead, it appears that Sherman was beyond incompetent and all the way across the border into negligent when he failed to win to stop the trial and then failed to put on a legitimate, million-dollar defense case.  Certainly the finding that Sherman was incompetent and negligent is astounding considering the high profile of the case and the parties involved, and the upcoming Skakel retrial will be a nadir for Mickey Sherman, even worse than his criminal conviction and marriage to Lis Wiehl.  I don't know if Skakel is guilty of the crime--but having such renowned fools and criminals as Mark Fuhrman believe in his guilt makes infinitely less likely to be true.  I suspect he is not, and a decent defense case certainly would have made a finding of guilty beyond a reasonable doubt impossible.  Sherman is fucking clown, and this case has been fucked up since ten seconds after the body was discovered in 1975.  Martha Moxley's killer will probably never be found; the Greenwich police were hopelessly out of their element and fucked up the investigation beyond repair.  Skakel probably didn't do it and almost certainly should never have been convicted given the threadbare case against him.  Guilty or not, Skakel was railroaded because of his family, and his defense attorney was an inexcusable buffoon.

Assault On A Queen Remake

I DVR'd this odd Sinatra vehicle and watched it again for the first time in decades.  This weird little film, chock full of bizarre WWII nostalgia could make a great remake with some super-fun CGI boats and old submarines and shit; the flick is not so instantly recognizable that the plot and the surprises would be familiar to the entire potential audience.  Somebody with a good feel for the 1950's in the United States and history of the war could have a great time polishing the story to be faithful to the time and explicit enough to appeal to modern sensibilities.  Or cast Paul Giamatti in it and fuck it up beyond repair. 

Shaquille O'Neal And Chris Christie, A Couple Of Utter Bastards

Those two fools deserve each other.  Christie is a ginormous, Moby Dick-sized motherfucker, and O'Neal may not have been a reprehensible scumbag like Kobe Bryant, but he is still an oversized piece of shit.

Atrios Makes Teh Papers

Dday does Atrios!  But it is not nearly what it sounds like.  Instead we get a thoughtful profile of Herr Doktor Professor Atrios Duncan Black and his tilting at the Social Security increase windmill.  Well done.

Russell Brand's Jon Stewart And Dennis Miller Problem

Russell Brand is such an unfunny, unappealing performer, as well as such an unctuous attention-whore, that I truly believe that he has a Jon Stewart and Dennis Miller problem.  That problem is that like Stewart and Miller, he is not very bright a vacuous fuckhead relying on the talent of writers and managers to position him in such a way to materially benefit Russell Brand Inc.  Whether these ideas he is parroting have merit surely is a useful discussion which has almost nothing to do with Russell Brand in particular--and his critics slagging him for his "beautiful woman" quip risk lapsing into asinine self-parody.  Brand is a comedian of sorts after all, and his schtick is many things, but accusing him of "lazy sexism" is hilariously naive.  The critics who can't understand how Brand is delivering his message are probably not up to discussing Russell Brand, Russell Brand Inc, or revolutionary social commentary of any sort, even if it is coming from fatuous comedians like Russell Brand or Jon Stewart or Dennis Miller--or anyone else.

Media Matters On Fire Over 60 Minutes And Fox "News"

David Brock and Media Matters have gone apeshit today over the ridiculous CBS news report fluffing the bugfuck crazy Benghazi paranoia fomented by Fox "News", the teabaggers, and the Koch-suckers in the rest of the media.  Nobody on the right cares about the truth of Benghazi--shady CIA operation gone wrong--but they sure as shit care about keeping the rank and file teabaggers at a full boil through the 2014 election.  This is also about Republican fear of Hillary Clinton's 2016 presidential prospects and doing everything they can to keep her from running--which I fully support, if for completely different reasons!  Clinton, Hillary would be a disaster for the country just like Clinton, Bill, Tubby, but if the Republicans want to waste time, effort, and money focusing on her, I can fully support that idiotic strategy, too.

Atrios Fisks The Savvy Healthcare People

"Congratulations on being savvy!"  Ouch.  Atrios is not happy with the assorted d-bags who are too busy fluffing up the Obamacare shitshow to be talking loudly and consistently about the conservative foundation of Obama's health insurance support law and explaining that the conservative heritage (hah!) of Obamacare is the cause of its problems!  Many smart guys and gals understand that Medicare for all (universal Single Payer health care) would be better, more popular, and less expensive than just about any other health care delivery system in the known universe, and even it it is not possible in 2012, 2013, 2014, or whenever, it is good policy to educate and publicize the best alternatives.  This is perhaps the grossest failure of the universally awful Clinton presidency: missing the opportunity to build a Democratic Party healthcare infrastructure after the failure of Clinton's attempt--20 years of campaigning and educating and speechifying and winning elections would have made the job of the Democrats so much fucking easier in 2008 and quite possibly would have made Single Payer possible after the Obama election.  Nice going assholes!  Of course, Clintons and Obamas and their friends won't suffer under Clinton's failure and Obama's failure on healthcare, but millions of Americans will.

How To Ruin Lou Reed And VU

Well, not ruining, exactly, but kinda' lessening the whole experience by association with ass clowns and freepers and other douchebags.  Frak.

Lou Reed's Adventure Time

Lou Reed Dead At 71

Shit.  I had no idea he'd had a liver transplant earlier this year.  That is a hell of strain, and Reed had looked pretty frail in the last few years.  Reed left an interesting legacy and was the father of loads of cool music and the grandfather of a billion times more. 

Broncos Vs. Washington

Can't they both lose?  Or maybe have some sort asteroid impact before the end of regulation?  Something.

At least the Lions did the lord's work clipping Dallas at the last second.  

Game 3 Of The World Series

Provided some high-fructose fun last night.  If you are going to end a game on some fucked up shit, it's always good to afflict the Red Sox.  Anyone out there who watched the game with the sound off was saved having to listen to the dolts on the Fox broadcast blather incoherently after the interference call.  Good fun, though.  Woulda' been good tee vee if not for the Fox clowns.  Let's hope that tonight's game provides some decent entertainment as well.

Update: So much for that.  If someone's calling in asteroid strikes, might I suggest the Cardinals' clubhouse?

Slipping Into Something

Remember that alternate reality where Ira Kaplan is fronting The Feelies and Lou Reed is in Yo La Tengo and they had that 7-8 year period where they both put out a record a year and each one was better than the last?  No?  That sucks cuz that world fucking rocked.

Gene Sperling Is Obama's Boy

The Prez sure can pick 'em.  Sperling is a consummate insider, so having him spout off is surely part of official policy.  Sperling's the worst, so what's his boss?

Lee Papa Goes For Grayson

The Rude Pundit votes Grayson!  Grayson's having fun with this shit as well, and watching the teabagger coward/war criminal Allen West go apeshit over Grayson's attack with keester falafel pervert Bill O'Reilly should have been an object lesson for all the Dems to follow Grayson's lead and attack the teabaggers over their racism and rampant ignorant fucktardery.

More Cogent Obamacare Slagging

From a doctor, so you know it's good--just like when those fucktard former doctors in the Congress puke up some teabagger talking points and the teabaggers all blow their wads cuz doctors.  Or not.  The problems with Obamacare as a concept and in execution are legion, and Dr. Flowers, unlike your cadre of teabagger morons, is pretty much right on the ball.  Now, unfortunately, almost all of the focus is on turning Obamacare into a political winner for one side or the other; for the Dems, that means that making the terrible new system work as well as it can to influence establishment media coverage and public opinion.  Winning elections for the good guys is fine, just fine, but the political considerations are all we will ever hear about, while at best the program itself is a fucking disaster for everyone besides elected Dems and vile health insurance companies.  Fuuucck.

It's Fiskomania: Today Digby Fisks Jon Stewart

Jon Stewart sucks, now and forever, amen.  Anybody who saw or heard about that risible, American conservative establishment-fluffing rally and still takes Stewart seriously as a "liberal" or an intellectual or anything other than a palsied mummer is truly beyond contempt.  Today we have Digby calmly and completely fisking Stewart once again over his shameful performance with the vile intellectual cripple and fatuous liar Charles Krauthammer over the right's and Krauthammer's Koch-sucking Social Security bullshit.  Nice going, Stewart.  Digby helpfully links to the facts, too, so that's something Stewart should have known before allowing that cockbag Krauthammer within 5000 meters of his tee vee show.

Krauthammer and Stewart are both pampered tee vee millionaires who never have to worry about retirement, about Social Security, about Medicare, about money, or about much of anything at all at this point as far as their future incomes go.  Their shared ugly attitudes toward people who are not tee vee millionaires are beyond evil.  Krauthammer hit his head on the bottom of a pool in college and clearly suffered brain damage, but what's Stewart's excuse?  Jon Stewart can go fuck himself. 

Politcal Song for Herr Professor Doktor Atrios Duncan Black to Sing

Would A Union Make Guitar Center Worth Your Business

I usually stay way far away from Guitar Center.  It sucks.  Really.  And most of the people who work there are douches.  I prefer to visit the local shops, especially the one owned by the dude who happens to be a great luthier and excellent teacher, but, if Guitar Center was properly unionized, well, it would be a shitload more respectable to pick up some gear there that the smaller guys won't bother with, and everybody would win.  Except Bain Capital.  They would lose, and that would fuckin' rock!

Beyond Insanity--Yes, It's Lady Patriots

What in the holy hell is going on with these bugfuck nutty "lady" "patriots"?  There's unhinged and then there's this scary, fucked-up shit.  "America the way god designed her"?  That's some full-on, ocean-going lunacy right there.  That's almost as funny as the jerkoffs who think that the bible was written in English by Jesus because he was a white, hetero American male with blonde hair.  And yes, there is a shitload of typical teabagger racism, homophobia, and quivering hatred all over that embarrassing website, but it is the almost complete ignorance and misunderstanding of every simple thing on display that really makes us good people pray for the revelation of Ronald D. Moore's Airwolf.  Before that glorious day, I think I'll arrange delivery to those disgusting lady patriots of a gross of "Sarah Palin Is A Cunt" t-shirts.

(via)

Ronald D. Moore's Airwolf

As part of our fucked up bullshit existence theme, I think what would put us over the edge and finally get everyone's attention would be a patented Ronald D. Moore skullfucking of the inane cheeseball classic Airwolf.  Moore crippled Star Trek with his idiocy, along with enthusiastic and unfortunate collusion of Brannon Bragga and Rick Berman, and turned Battlestar Galactica into an insulting and embarrassing mess that definitely got J.J. Abrams and Damon Lindelof wicked fucking hard.  His vision of Airwolf, with an unhinged, scenery-chewing Paul Giamatti in blackface as Ernest Borgnine, a transgendered albino marmot as Stringfellow Hawke, and Edward James Olmos as Archangel, would be such a glorious disaster that it should rupture our local spacetime continuum and give us a fresh start at evolution.  Can't wait.

Erik Loomis's Layaway Plan

For realz, Herr Professor Doktor Loomis gets down and dirty on the poverty thing over this truly pretty maxi douchey article on store layaway programs.  Poverty, living in poverty, experiencing poverty is hardly ever discussed by the swells in the United States, not elected political "leaders", not the secure upper middle class civilians, not the tee vee millionaires.  Poverty is more widespread than commonly believed, even amongst the people in the bottom quintile, and most of the folks in the country who should or do know better have lots of great incentives to not really discuss or publicize this harsh reality.  Loomis is fine on his post, and for once, the comments below it are pretty okay, too, which is another extremely minor gratifying development in the society on this august day.  Poverty is now clearly a feature of the United States, but it is one which will undo the entire exercise unless it is ameliorated.  Right now, nobody except random assholes gives a flying fuck, but there is opportunity there for "leaders" who truly want to lead and politicians, maybe running in the Democratic party, who want to win elections and make a quantifiable difference in the lives of a majority of American citizens.  I'm not holdin' my breath, tho. 

Another Rockin' Digby On Social Security

Digby's always thinkin' about Social Security and shit, and she often writes eloquently about all of it.  Besides raising the caps, and increasing the benefit levels, we Americans should demand that all income be taxed for Social Security, especially interest and dividend income above a certain yearly level.  Those steps would go a long way, all the way, to making Social Security solvent for the next 20,000 years.  And if we instituted a legitimate, universal national health care program, most of our budget issues would evaporate quicker than the puddles on Satan's driveway.

A Very Mild Bilmon Fisking

I've always considered Billmon to be another Tbogg sort, a sometimes-amusing but ultimately smug, lightweight, campfollowing douchebag, so it was kinda' interesting to see a BJ front-pager passive-aggressively administer a mild fisking to said Billmon in a placeholder for an open thread.  I guess it represents the babiest of baby steps toward a wider understanding of stuff like teabagging and politics and smarmy douchebaggery, so it's almost somethin'. 

Polly Prissy Pants Hides Behind His Wife's Health Insurance, Too

Well, well, well, Teabaggin' Ted Cruz don't need no stinkin' govmint health insurance cuz his sexually frustrated wife gots him covered.  I find it hard to believe that Polly is such a hypocrite.  Shocked, I say.  His wife must be so squicked out by his recent public performance that she will probably never have another orgasm, even with her XXL Hitachi wired directly into a nuclear power station.

Pacific Rim Honest Trailer Is Pretty Fun

Pew Pew!  Like Rwarr!  Pacific Rim was a wicked fun dumb movie and well worth the ticket price.  That's rare these days.  Giant robots punching giant monsters.  Heh indeedy.

School Shootings Are Not Really News Anymore

America is a great place.  We don't need to report the sunrise, and we don't really need to report school shootings anymore.  They're just part of the background noise now, and we should only get really excited about them when it is something special, like a record breaker or a Sailor Moon or other special theme shooting.  Otherwise, put 'em next to the high school football scores or some shit.

Is Jeanine Pirro The Most Viciously Stupid Woman On Fox "News"?

Remember, this is an enterprise which employs scary idiots such as Megyn Kelly, Sarah Palin, Gretchen Carlson, and Jamie Colby, but the women of Fox "News" are there for different reasons than the men.  The men are there as the pissboys of Ailes and Murdoch.  O'Reilly, Hannity, Cavuto, Huckabee, Bolling, and their ilk are the loyal soldiers and useful idiots, but the women are expected to live up to an obvious, different standard in addition to being absolute fucking morons.  So, is Pirro the absolutely stupidest Fox "News" women?

The World's Dumbest Parents?

Or just the weasellyest?  These parents were either wicked paranoid about liability or just the biggest assholes in the territory.  Parents of teenagers who are going to leave them in the house alone need to have rock-solid liability protection, because, duh.  If the parents were just being stupid and got their own fucking children arrested, well, they deserve an insane beatdown for atrocious parenting and decision-making.

Hey Joni

These days who doesn't need more Lee Ranaldo in their lives?

Eric Stern Makes The Papers

Or internets.  The pool, the pond.  Eric Stern fresh off his poppin' fresh Hannity show fisking has been making the rounds on the tee vee.  That's pretty cool; at some point the Democrats are going to have to mount an offensive against the lunacy and lies from Fox "News".  Eric Stern has done a decent job showing the way. 

Grayson Grayson Grayson

Alan Grayson got a little too real and offended some teabaggers.  The Republicans should be cutting out this teabagger cancer toot suite or else they might all die off, and people like Grayson could actually be helping the sane Republicans, if any exist.  No worries for the good guys, though, and Grayson is right and should keep talking, because the Repubs won't listen anyway, and a shit ton of truth is not going to save the Republican party.  Plus, Grayson is hella fun to watch and seeing the teabaggers and tv dipshits freak out is fun as balls.

This Will Not End Well

Unhinged elected Republicans plus one certified lunatic will be a match made in the ninth circle of hell.  I can't wait to this nutjob McAfee lose his shit live on Fox "News". 

Can This Virginia Governor's Race Be For Realz?

Right-wing stalwarts RCP has the average as +10 for McAuliffe AND the insane teabaggers at Rasmussen have it +17 for the Dem.  Can that be real?  McAuliffe is a huge Clintonite douchebag and one of the worst candidates ever AND this is Virginia which is full of idiots, so is this right?  Are the Republicans fucking this up that badly? 

Does Obama Still Wanna Cut Social Security?

Yeah, probably.--it's his mission from god.  We've been lucky for five years that the teabaggers are so fucking unhinged and hatefully racist that they have been unable to take yes for an answer from Obama over entitlement cuts, but the danger persists that enough of the asshole Republicans will join with their rock-ribbed conservative brothers and sisters in the Democratic party and do the work the Koch-suckers and Koch Brothers sent them there to do and cut the benefits the poor rely on so that the Kochs and their syphilitic cohort can enjoy both lower taxes as well as the suffering of the masses. 

Ooh, Yummy! A Tasty Andrea Mitchell Greenspan Fisking

Slagging people like Andrea Mitchell Greenspan is always a fun AND educational!  Susie Madrak gets in some nice shots at Mitchell, who STILL works at NBC news and is not required to wear a shirt that says "I'm Mrs. Alan Greenspan" on it.  This stuff has come up before around these parts along with lots of different places.  Unfortunately, being a vile, scuzz-guzzling sycophant like Andrea Mitchell is feature and not a bug. 

Fox "News"'s Obamacare Paranoia

For the past coupla' weeks, Fox "News" has been staging a high-volume hissy fit over the Obamacare exchanges, screaming about problems and wheeling out sad and bloodless Fox "News" "Democrats" to support Republican critiques.  It looks and sounds more than a little manic, and there is a reason.  While the federal system is buried under the weight of half the states refusing Medicaid money as a plan to sabotage the whole exercise, apparently the more or less sane states and their programs are doing fine, just fine.  That's the source of the white-hot Fox fear--from their own reporting--a successful program to provide health insurance which will undercut Republican political power for generations or forever.  I think Obamacare sucks and shows what a disgusting right-wing Koch-sucking weasel Obama is, but the Fox people and their masters are in a full-on, ocean-going panic attack because they think the stupid thing might be working.  Heh, indeedy.

Virag's Movie Reviews: Oblivion (2013)

Oblivion feels too much like a mashup of Prometheus and Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow--a sometimes interesting-looking slideshow of poorly-realized lame ideas and clumsy shoutouts.  First off, Tom Cruise is always a liability to your film--a buffer Paul Giamatti--and Cruise is especially vapid here.  Andrea Riseborough is actually pretty decent, just frumpy and pissy enough to make you think that her story, her memories, her conflicts, her motivations, should have been given more emphasis, because her character is clearly--or clearly should have been--going through a parallel evolution to Cruise's character.  Otherwise, Morgan Freeman and Melissa Leo cashed checks while Jamie Lannister looks bewildered.  Somewhere, in the hands of talented director and half-way decent writer, the Oblivion concept coulda' been good, maybe.  In reality, it wasn't. 

Dick Durbin Needs To Go Away, Far Away

And take the fucktard teabaggers with him.  The bullshit zombie lies about Social Security in particular and the debt and deficit in general told by the Democrats are fucking fucking killing this country.  We should be INCREASING Social Security payouts and removing caps on SS taxes and make sure that ALL income is subject to SS taxes, especially income on dividends received by people who "work" for a dollar a year or some similar bullshit.

Political Song for Ted Cruz to Sing

Virag's Movie Reviews: G.I. Joe: Retaliation (2013)

This movie was amazing!  It was amazing that they managed to make a flick that was even dumber and less-substantial than the first one--that shoulda' been fucking impossible!  Channing Tatum had the right idea; I'm sure he was all sorts of pissed when they added those completely unrelated scenes with The Rock long after photography was complete--he probably expected for his character to die before the opening credits.  Somebody needed to explain to the idiots who greenlit this thing that trading in most of the actors in your movie for a wrestler and a cardboard cutout of Bruce Willis napping was not a good business plan.  (I have to assume that Jonathan Pryce lost a bet.)  Plus, it looked really cheap, even in comparison to the first one, and that's fucking sad.  Sharknado had an excuse but not this thing.

Johnny Football Got Manhandled By Auburn

And all the Americans who truly love Jesus and the 2nd Amendment rejoice!  Here's an idea: let's make sure the fuckers who play on college football teams are actually students on campus!

And CNBC Got Pretty Well Fisked, Too

All you gotta know is one thing and you will know more than the dipshits on CNBC, so there is no excuse for all the assholes who go on unprepared and get fucked by the Koch-suckers who work for CNBC.  Or Fox.  Or CNN.  Or ABC.  Or NBC. 

Poppin Fresh Hannity Show Fisking

If Hannity had any shame or any brains, he'd be mortified that his show was easily shown to be a torrent of boiling horseshit.  Montana has something to recommend it, I guess, and maybe this Eric Stern dude should be a full-time Fox "News" fact checker--which would necessitate a king's ransom in whisky and Haldol--but would be oh so much fun for the rest of us.  Along with lots of other folks, Digby has been enjoying the rosy glow of Hannity's bullshit supernova.

Vintage Jonathan Karl Fisking

Jonathan Karl probably still has to use the extra strength Prep-H after the reaming out he got from FAIR in 2011.  Guess what, chief?  Your liberal establishment media does not exist.  Karl was a well-known scum-guzzling conservative fucktard when ABC hired him, and I'm sure he fit right in. 

Chris Kvale Bikes With Actual Chris Kvale

Chris Kvale's bikes fortified with Chris Kvale himself.  Lots more here, including more fantastic detail shots of the Kvales.

Jeffrey St. Clair And The Empire Of The Senseless And Obama

Absolutely a Mekons reference and a sad commentary on the Obama era.  There was never, ever any reason to question Obama's establishment loyalty.  Obama's best trick was deliver his lofty rhetoric in such a way that gave hope to those who feared another Clinton, another rock-ribbed conservative asshole Democratic president.  The hope was never a reality; Obama was always clear in his priorities and has done his best to govern on behalf of America's true masters in spite of some unhinged racist teabaggers.

Virag's Movie Reviews: World War Z (2013)

Had this been on the Syfy channel, well, it woulda' been sorta okay, but as a big-budget film, it didn't make enough sense and didn't look that great.  At times, it looked like Brad Pitt was desperately trying to remember some tricks from Babel--and failing.  Between the rewrites and the reshoots, World War Z felt too much like at least three different dumb zombie movies, none of which were anywhere as decent as 28 Days Later. 

Next Question For America Today: Is Carl Bernstein's Entire Mission Now To Make Bob Woodward Look Like A Buffoon?

Bernstein seems to be working real hard these days to make his former butt buddy Woodward look even more like the reactionary Fox "News" fucktard Woodward has become.  He never comes right and says it, but the subtext of Bernstein's current media persona is that Woodward is an unhinged poxy asshole.  It's pretty funny, and I hope he keeps it up. 

America's Question Of The Day: Was There Ever A Bigger Asshole Than Paul Harvey?

Paul Harvey was an evil, racist, reactionary, Republican bastard; his biography drips with rancid villainy and hatred.  America has sired many nasty motherfuckers, but have any been worse than Paul Harvey?

The Third Or Fourth Greatest Show On Earth?

Something.  The Serotta soapy opera is still better than average Serotta bike, but when is enough enough?  Ben Serotta once made a good bike and his factory once made a great titanium bike, but enough already.  Is this all just for our amusement now, watching buffoons and liars and fucking assholes wallow around in their filth?  Well, okay, then.  Thanks.  Don't forget the tip jar for poxy sad clowns and talentless, squealing mummers.

Obamacare Versus Canada

So, the budget bullshit is done for a coupla months, but Obamacare remains, and the time is now to look to the beer-swilling lacrosse players to the north in The Healthcare Movie.  If indeed Obamacare somehow does get some affordable coverage to some currently-uninsured Americans, it is not going to work out so well for everyone.  Yes, the fucking Canucks have it pretty much figured out, and yes, the United States is too fucking stupid to live.  Unfortunately for more than a few Americans every year, that too stupid to live thing is literally America is too stupid for those particular Americans to continue to live.  Blame Canada.

The US Senate Suffers A Downgrade

Slimy conservative Cory Booker will somehow make the Senate just a bit shittier than it was before.  African American or no, Booker sucks, but at least the teabagging racist assholes fucking hate it, so there's some good to come out of it.

Pere Ubu's Majestic Anti-Pop

When somebody asked Pere Ubu to make a pop record, they got this.  Thank you, Jeebus.  This fucking song is sublime.

Sam Wang's New House

America's best election analyst sees a new day rising in the House of Representatives for 2014.  Apparently the Teabaggin' Ted "Polly Prissy Pants" Cruz speakership has not worked out too well for the Republicans.  When are the Repubs beyond hope?  That's the key.  If despite the work of Gerry Mander, the GOP manages to lose control of the House, I think that may be the end for them as a national political party.  Polly Prissy Pants and his slattern consort Sarah Palin will be the king and queen of the new Teabaggin' Party, but they won't be winning any elections ever again. 

Bad Deal: You Lose Again

Everybody--but especially the 99% and Democratic hopes--loses again!  Just not fucking allowing self-immolation is not much of a victory.  We are stuck with the sequestration cuts--plus nothing resembling increases in Social Security benefits and nothing resembling new stimulus spending to address our catastrophic levels of unemployment and nothing resembling extensions in unemployment benefits and nothing else resembling anything to boost the economy beyond not defaulting tomorrow--and stuck with Obama and the Democrats failure to fight for something other than standard-issue American establishment conservative politics and policy.  This is a fucking failure by any measure.  Fantastic job, fellers.

No Single Human With A Brain Should Have Ever Taken Megyn Kelly Seriously

Sure, watching Megyn Kelly cockpunch Rove live on election night 2012 was a surreal gas, but only a fucking dipshit would consider Kelly anything other than a loathsome Fox "News" right wing whore.  She's every bit as nasty and stupid as the lowest Fox scum.

When Is That?

Political Song for Richard Lloyd to Sing

Lu Edmonds-era Damned.  Lu Knee, like Elvis, is everywhere.

(While we wait for the song to come back, have the whole feckin' album...)

I'll Call You, Ishmael Reed Cuz Racist Teabaggers Are Racist And Stupid And Evil

Ishmael Reed does his own style of apeshit over racist teabaggers who are willing to wreak havoc for all of America because they are evil racist assholes on the Counterpunch website today.  Yee haw.  The question is: How did we get here?  The answer is that we have never left, sadly.  The extra-nasty frothing over "Democrats" and "Liberals" and "Communists" and "Big Government" is fortified with a shitload of purebred American racism.  Clinton, who was easily as big a conservative, establishment toadie as Obama is, never got that sort of hate because Clinton was not black.  That's our American sickness, hitting like a deadly fever, and let the gods help us to die quickly at last.

(Can't escape the Moby Dick stuff!)

Rick Perry: The Gayest Texas White Whale Evah

What the fuck IS the matter with Texas?  Jesus.  So, Rick Perry was unbeatable in Texas for almost 30 years, but his sad performance in the Republican primaries last year showed what a hopeless buffoon he is--he managed to finish behind Rick "Frothy Santorum" Santorum, Herman "Whoremonger" Cain, and "Newt" for fuck's sake!--so why the fuck couldn't the "Democrats" in Texas ever beat him?  How fucking sad and lame are the "Democrats" in Texas?  How fucking sick is Texas?  Time to give it back to fucking Mexico--150 years ago!

(This is another byproduct of having an 8 year old reading Moby Dick.  We're all about white whale symbolism and shit right now.)

Losing The Battle For Today And For 2014

But the Democratic establishment isn't losing, really.  A large portion of the potential Democratic voters out there are losing, but the Dems only pretend to work for them.  The Dems work for the same group the Republicans work for, except the Dems have fewer stunningly unhinged racist assholes in their vanguard.  This is still not good politics, though.  The Dems could have had a field day in the 2014 elections; too many winning issues were handed to the Dems for free--now including the shutdown and debt ceiling nonsense--but the timid Dems in cahoots with the establishment (hard conservative) Dems have failed to grow their party and drive to win big in 2014.  As usual.

Lee Papa has a few ideas for the short term.

Essential Superchunk

Decent list of super chunky goodness.  "Martinis on the Roof" is for realz a wicked good tune.

We Have The Technology

So That's Where Polly Prissy Pants Was Hiding

Behind Sarah Palin's tacky skirts.  I was wondering where Teabagger Ted, aka Polly Prissy Pants, had been hiding for the past week or so.  Well, now we know that he was too scared to come out without Palin to protect him.  He's already fucked up his reputation outside of teabagging Texas, and the Repubs are scared shitless that they're all going to be stuck with his stench during the 2014 elections.  With Palin, though, he's found a home in the midst of the biggest asswhipes in Amerikka. 

Targeting Of Fox "News" Should Have Been Obama's First Official Act

Degrading and disrespecting Fox "News" would have been a great strategy for Obama in 2008.  If Obama and the Dems had frozen Fox out of everything--up to and including keeping any and all paid Dems off of Fox--would have been a huge help to Obama and the country.  Fox would have been apoplectic of course, but that would have shown their colors far more vividly. 

Newkularr Nader

Ralph Nader goes nuclear on Counterpunch today.  (As usual, Nader gets it, atmo.)  Commercial nuclear power is a pretty great intelligence test, especially for progressives and environmentalists.  Anyone who knows more than 1.5 things about anything and considers themselves an environmentalist or progressive or liberal or whatever AND supports nuclear power is either an irredeemable fucktard or a disgusting toadie and is not worth a damn.

We're The Same

Evil Or Stupid? Both? Yeah, Both

The sickest of the sick fucks.  The Serotta forum is definitely not up to something as nuanced as climate change.  Or math.  Or basic reading comprehension.  They've got the scumsucking evil well covered.  And the bugfuck crackers teabagging assholes are well-represented by this insufferable douchenozzle.  We are doomed.

Another Fetid Turd For Turdmaster Tom Hanks

Tom Hanks rolls around in the shit once again.  Hanks is to acting what Ron Howard is to directing: reason enough for the Mooslim savages to hate us enough to kill every single American.  OF COURSE the story of the US rescue was bullshit.  OF COURSE the bodies were riddled with bullets.  OF COURSE somebody used the occasion to lift the cash.  This is America!  Fuck yeah!

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Bill Moyers Goes Absolutely Apeshit

For Moyers anyway; his apeshit is not as much ape or throwing of shit as the mundane apeshit.  He did come pretty close to calling Sarah Palin the some pretty useful and colorful names though, I think. 

Alec Baldwin With Bill de Blasio

I DVR'd Baldwin's show and was able to watch it this morning.  It was an interesting spectacle, and certainly a great forum for de Blasio.  I'm wondering how long Baldwin will be able--or want--to keep it up.

Overthinking Bill Maher

He's no Johnny Marr.  Anywho, it's one of those self-evident truths that Bill Maher sucks moose cock, but it is easy to over think Maher's douchebaggery.  Maher's at his heart a needy little man, not a scheming monster--he's simply not that smart or talented.  Maher's not the lowest of the low, a Limbaugh, or a Hannity, or an O'Reilly, because Bill Maher is not nearly as big a fucktard as any of the conservative dancing monkeys.  That doesn't make him that much of a thinker or an amazing comedian.  Maher is another John Stewart; rather than being the best of us, he is easily down there with the least of us, whether you believe he's as low as Glenn Beck or not.

Polly Prissy Pants Hides Out

Teabaggin' Ted "Polly Prissy Pants" Cruz has been hiding out amongst his fucktard brethren for the past week, after getting his ass handed to him by most Americans.  Even Cruz realized that his only hope was to stop fucking himself and losing support every time he opened his mouth.

John Hawkins: Stands Out As An Irredeemable Dipshit At Townhall

That's not easy, cuz retards like Ben Shapiro, Michelle Malkin, and Ann Coulter slosh around that cesspool, but John  Hawkins finds away to distinguish himself as an absolute top-tier fucktard who is not only as wrong as only a brain-damaged, teabagging twit can be but is also as useless as Ted Cruz's last dump of greasy Santorum.  If you need someone to chase the greased pig, Hawkins is your guy.

California's Warp Speed Turnaround

Brown's far from perfect, but the state of the state of California has improved markedly since his election as governor with a Democratic majority.  The expansion of abortion rights is a fantastic development, with the hope that some of non-fucktard America follows Cali's lead.  And even better, the teabagger Jesus freak types are going fucking crazy.  Any time these ignorant wackjobs are getting all bent is all win for the good guys in the good ole USA. 

James Woods Needs To Hit The Blow Again

He's really lost it here. I guess the best part of Woods is the powder going up his nose.  He should probably consider going back to Sean Young to respark his manic panic. 

Of Course Obamacare Is Worse Than Nothing

Not only is a fucking health care disaster, it will also be a political disaster for the Democrats.  Obama doesn't have to run, but some of these ass wipes in Congress should have known better and refused to sign their political death warrants in order to hand an empty political victory to Obama and for the for-profit health insurance industry. 

Eli Manning Is Quickly Becoming One Of Our Most Entertaining Americans

Every American who loves Jesus and the 2nd Amendment also has to love how wonderfully entertaining Eli Manning is in New York this fall.  Epic catastrophes in football in New York with Eli Manning and that blithering dickbag Tom Coughlin are succor in our trying times.

Tomac Bikes? Tomac? Bikes?

What the fuck?  Tomac?  John Tomac?  Bikes?  It's 2013, I think, and Tomac has bikes again. That's weird and unexpected.  Even stranger is that not-Serotta is making the first new Tomac bike model.  It's fine, just fine, but without Doug Bradbury and a cool aluminium racing hardtail, I'm not sure what the point is, exactly.  Surely the first bike, that gravel road thing, is fucking ugly and seemingly beyond goofy and pointless as well as having nothing to do with John Tomac's bike racing background, so it looks a lot like a huge blunder out of the gate--and it is being built by the not-Serotta company, so the reborn Tomac brand finds itself rolling around in that puddle of pig shit.  But, if, and the biggy big if is big, the Tomac brand retains a for-realz made in USA commitment, not-Serotta or no, AND has a cool, modern racing hardtail mountain bike AND a cool, modern road racing frame, well, maybe.

Finally, Tumblr Does Something Useful

Better than Grumpycat pictures mashed up with Bathory lyrics.  Really, what could be better than Morrissey and Chuck Schultz in the same frame?  Elvis needs boats.

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Yellen Better Than Summers

Larry Summers was and is easily the worst possible choice for Fed Chairman or any position more crucial than shit shoveler at the Cambridge Pet-A-Pig theme park--not that it stopped Obama from letting Summers fuck up Obama's first term--so Janet Yellen is a step up.  Hopes are not so very high, but when the wacko fucktards don't like you, you gotta be at least okay.

How Drunk Was Boehner When He Made His Statement Yesterday?

He was beyond blubbery and borderline incoherent.  It would surely be worth destroying American society to remove this alky fucktard permanently from public life.  I hope the teabaggers go the full Dahmer on this motherfucker.

Feckin' Red Sox

The TB Devil Rays are the shame of our age.  Or somethin'.  They coulda' used way more devil against the fuckin' Sox.

Curt Schilling's Fire Sale: Couldn't Happen To A Nicer Teabagger

Hah hah hah!  Fuck him.  Schilling is a huge piece of shit, and I'm gladdened to see he's been abandoned by Adam Smith and Jesus and everyone else.  Now if only ESPN would do the right thing and can his sorry ass, America could finally have something to warm our collective teabagger-hating hearts.

Teabaggers All Buttoned Up

Fools like the ones who made these buttons in California are the heart and soul of the teabagger movement.  They're doing their best to fuck up all of us.

Josh Marshall Is "A Little Bit Out Of My Territory Here".

No shit.  Of course he's a little bit out of his territory when he's attempting--and failing--to wipe his own ass on a daily basis.  Why doesn't he just shut the fuck up on the off chance there are still one or two people out there who don't know what a fucking dipshit he is?

Virag's Movie Reviews: Iron Man 3 (2013)

So, so tired.  The whole enterprise was obviously worn out and worn down in this one.  Besides a decided lack of energy and dumb shit piled all the way to the moon, this flick was finally killed by the whole nonsense with the kid.  A kid!  I would have loved to be in on the executive meeting when those studio clowns had to face the fact that it was waayyy too late to redo the risible Shane Black script or dump Black as the director.  Seriously, an Iron Man movie without any actual Iron Man is a loser from the start, and Black made it much worse with the frothing inanity of 3000°K bad guys.  3000°K!  What the fuck?  Anything that hot would not only cause the surrounding environment to burn or melt, but there is no fucking way that anything resembling a human being could maintain its structure at 3000°.  Fucking stupid.  Even dumber than the kid plot.  And why have a shitload of Iron Man suits only to destroy them as part of a cliched and poorly photographed scene?  So, so dumb, too.  This movie sucked.  Of course, Favreau has to feel good cuz his Iron Men look not so heinous now.

The Clintons Are An Anvil Around Our Necks

Bill Clinton was a terrible President, and by all accounts he is a despicable human being.  His harpy wife must never become president, and his daughter is a menace to decent society, but it is probably the legion of vile scumsuckers he fostered that are the biggest threat to our nation. 

Better The Dodgers

Than the fucking Braves.

Sick, Oh

Shitty Calls At Second Are Shittier When They Benefit The Red Sox

Jesus fucking christ, can't America expect the calls to be right during the playoffs?  Fuckers.

Let's Put The Chimps In Congress

We can protect Chimpanzees in the United States AND make our government better by replacing the teabaggers in Congress with chimps!  (An all-chimp Congress would probably do a better job of governing than the thing we have now, but firsties with teabaggers, and let's see what happens.)  Random chimps would have a greater understanding of their roles in Congress than teabaggers; chimps would understand the harm of bugfuck nutty political grandstanding better than teabaggers; chimps would be far less likely to be Koch-suckers than teabaggers; chimps would fling much less rancid shit around the place than the teabaggers.  The plan is chock full o' win.  Let's get those chimps in and those teabaggers out!

Wait, Somebody's Still Watching 60 Minutes?

Yuck.  Didn't they have some fuckhead on recently guzzling Bill O'Reilly's rancid Jesus jizz to help push O'Reilly's asinine book?  Well, apparently that show can get lower than helping Bill O'Reilly run a cash-grab against addle-headed Christian oldsters by in fact relying on maxi-douchenozzle Tom Coburn for some lying, Koch-sucking talking points to bash the disabled poor peoples.  That's just fab.

Political Song for John's Boehner to Sing

Brilliant Malcolm Gladwell Fisking

By Christopher Chabris.  He does a lovely job savaging Gladwell and his pseudo-science bullshit.  Tons of fun & well worth your time.  Gladwell is ginormous piece of shit; it's always lovely to see it shouted from the rooftops.  Or blogged.  Or somethin'.  Gladwell sucks.

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Way To Go Romo!

The Cowboys are a loathsome organization, one of the most disgusting collections of human filth in the Western (professional sporting) world, so it is a great fucking thing to see Romo throw that interception in front of his own endzone with less than 2 minutes remaining in the game.  Fuck the Cowboys 5evah.

Boehner's Unfortunate And Embarrassing Discharge

Petition.  I hope to Christ that the Dems have the balls and skills to shove Boehner's incompetence right up his ass over this nonsense.  Just a handful of the teabaggers in the House have pretty much destroyed American democracy, and until it starts to hurt the Koch Brothers and the Koch-suckers, those teabaggers will not be brought to heel.  A Discharge Petition can not only solve the budget bullshit but can also completely destroy Boehner's Speakership once and for all.  That'd be fucking hilarious.  Let's go Dems.  Do somethin' for once.

Did Tebow's Career Die For Jacksonville's Sins?

At 0-5, the Jaguars are doing a great job expanding the definition of NFL suckitude, and now the faithful are awaiting the return of the messiah.  Can the shittiest football player in America make anyone in Jacksonville--or anywhere--care about the shittiest team in football? 

Reflektor Reflecting

Not feeling the new Arcade Fire track at all.  I had an inkling that AF had blown their wad on The Suburbs, and with people kissing Win Butler's ass and convincing him he's way more talented than he really is, the next phase for the band could be a fucking bloody abortion--or a bloody fucking abortion.  Whatevs.

Ted Cruz = Polly Prissy Pants

Ted Cruz, effete and effeminate teabagger, is in fact a creation of Eric Cartman's psychosis, namely Polly Prissy Pants.  It's true.

Go Ahead, Call Me Ishmael, Motherfrakking Teabagger

While looking around for some Moby Dick-related material for an 8 year old reading the book, I came across this Chris Hedges thing, and it is pretty darn good.  It's even good for those of you who may not be 8 and may not be reading Moby Dick.  I think that the great American cultural critics like Melville and Sam Clemens would have a difficult time believing the state of modern American inanity, with the likes of Ted Cruz and John Boehner and their unhinged antics dismantling the democratic experiment.

Political Song for Cracker Babies to Sing

Cracker Babies

"God Bless America" played by a jug band.  Heh indeedy. 

Monkey C

The Nastiest Teabaggers Love To Teabag: Gotta Get Drunk First Scumbags

Jesus Motherfucking Christ, these disgusting assholes at Gottagetdrunkfirst--proudly Texas fucktards, natch--check all the most despicable of teabagger categories: like racist, and ignorant Jesus freak, and really, really dumb.  Also, why do all these teabagger morons have the the world's worst taste in music?  Holy shit, these losers could not suck any harder.

Even Zathras Has Taken A Powder

I can't speak for Zathras, but I'm pretty sure even an earnest alien like him just doesn't give a fuck anymore.  The shit show never ends with these people.  And at this point, it don't frakkin' matter.  Using the name Saratoga Frameworks ain't gonna fool any one.  How many bikes does John Fucking Tomac or Merlin Bikes need anyway?

I still wanna know what's to become of the former Serotta carbon fork designs.  Will they be reborn in China to compete with Enve, or do the Poway carbon people have a plan to manufacture and market those things as a top of the line American plastic fork (and maybe carbon frame tubing and fittings, too)?

Good Day, Mr. Nader

I'm pretty sure that this borders on irate for Ralph Nader--not that Nader doesn't have a bunch of shit to be pissed about...Anywho, the teabaggers are pretty much doing the job that the Koch-suckers want them to do, namely be an annoying impediment to any reasonable function of government which does not directly benefit the Koch Brothers.  The takeaway is that the teabaggers are thus a menace to everyone in the world except the Koch Brothers, and maybe with the help of Jesus Fucking Christ Who I Love So Much, the teabaggers will also drag the Koch Brothers and their ilk down into the rancid pig shit of American politics. 

What Every Young String Player Needs

In a discontinued color.  Fuuuuccckk.  It's the kid bike tragedy playing out all over again.  The problem is that the first-choice color, some metallic pinkish, is not available locally, so I may have to go online to buy an inexpensive fucking guitar, which is as bad an idea as you can have, and the very cool local luthier/music store owner doesn't get the sale.  The Fender short scale basses are available locally, but, one, no pink, and, two, they are cheap looking and sounding.  I may luck into a sweet deal on a cherry, low-mileage model or not.  I've played the Ibanez a bit, and it is way better, and the kid likes it better, too.  Discontinued color.  Bastards. 

All-American Fun, In France, By Argentines

Tito Francona Hates America

Obviously.  The Indians against the Red Sox would have been much better tee vee.  Asshole.

See More Glass

Yes, yes, a thousand times yes.  Providing glasses for elementary school children who cannot afford them is the sort of good shit for which all Americans should be agitating.  Unfortunately, we have the teabagger-American fucktards taking a shit all over our government and can't get anything done.

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Rob Schneider Is...The Teabag!

What the fuck?  Schneider is a fucking anti-vax, teabagging asswhipe?  Well, well, well, that makes some sense now.

Rated PG-13.

Those WWII Vets Should Be Ashamed

Being used as political pawns by a handful of teabagging motherfuckers cannot be excused by being a thousand years old or a veteran.  Those folks were used by the teabaggers and should never have allowed such a shameful exercise, especially since the teabaggers have proven that they don't have shame or brains.

Sons Of Anarchy Yee Haw!

Donal Logue eats it again!  Sons of Anarchy fucking rocked last night.  Very nicely violent, with plenty of killing and some Robert Patrick to go with your Tig.  Fun stuff.  Almost as good as Copper.

Good Riddance Tom Clancy

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Optics, Elections, Shutdowns, And Idiot Republicans

Obama and the Democrats should have the wind at their backs heading into 2014 after this titanic Republican cock-up over the budget and Obamacare.  The optics for Democrats are fucking brilliant.  "Republicans are willing to destroy the economy to prevent Americans from having the opportunity to buy health insurance coverage."  That should be the opening for every statement any Democrat makes on any subject, including order a pastrami sandwich from the Senate Cafeteria.  Obama, any Senator, any Congressperson, that dickhead Carney, talking heads on the fucking tee vee, open with "Republicans are willing to destroy the economy to prevent Americans from having the opportunity to buy health insurance coverage."  Let that mushmouth Boehner or the slimy bullshitter Ted Cruz try and talk their way outa that one.  This is another winner for 2014 that the bad guys have handed them, but I always wonder where the Dems who really want to win are hiding, and I'm not confident we'll see 'em this time.

Political Song for Canadian Teabaggers to Sing

I Remember Toronto When Mylo Went Down

Many Americans have a problem taking Canada and Canada's problems seriously.  Canada seems like America's retarded little brother, goofy hockey-watching, lacrosse-playing, beer-drinking goons, happy and harmless and cute in an ugly-dog way.  So it is always somewhat jarring to hear that Canada is almost as much of a fetid cesspool of teabagging inanity as the US is.  Canada, like Australia, has become infected with teabagging, and that is something that should be a lesson to us all.