Just Remember, Most Of These People Thought Bridesmaids Was Good

So, Bridesmaids is good, but Showgirls is bad?  These sorts of people are not to be trusted.

2013? 2013? It Can't Be 2013 In El Salvador

These fuckers are as bad as the Irish.  Fucking animals.

Greenwald On Comey

Glenn Greenwald is not amused.  Nor should he be.  Obama is being a huge asshole once again.

Jeffrey St. Clair Sez Fuck You

Fun stuff.  St. Clair and his happy band sure do know a bunch of the clownish professional "left" in American, so they don't have to take shit from those mere puny humans. 

The Ballad Of Ken Light

Toronto's Own Crackhead Rob

This is fun. Too bad it didn't happen in Trenton or Albany or Philadelphia.  The American media coverage would have been absolutely insane.  As it stands, Canadians just don't have a feel for gut-busting absurdist political comedy.  I mean, we made stars out of worthless whores like Sarah Palin, Allen West, Michele Bachmann, and George W. Bush, but can you imagine Rob Ford as an American?  A pampered, teabagger, son-of-a-rich-guy, law-and-order conservative who turns out to be a crackhead and petty criminal and is outed while in elected office?  Holy fuck, that would be hilarious!  I mean, maybe it is a little too Bushy, but still, Retardboy was never dumb enough to smoke crack on video in the internet age as far as we know.  This guy is in office and his whole world is imploding.  I'm sure a shitload of other fun stuff will be coming out soon; we already know about crack, killings, DWIs, sexual harassment.  What's next?

The Organized Media Pushback Against The IRS Nonsense Is Way Late

Obama, other Dems, and the non-Fox folks should have opened with this shit.  Good politics would have meant getting ahead of the nutjobs and being ready to push back hard.  Now it is too late.  Brilliant.

This Too Is Pop

Holy fuck, they got old, and this was filmed 12 years ago!  "Run to the Hills" is an excellent song, though.  And while I hate arena rock with power of a thousand white hot suns, this crowd at Rock in Rio is fucking epic!

A List Of 100 Great Pop Songs Of The 80s

Half this list is execrable and indefensible, BUT it has The Mekons, The The, AND 'Run to the Hills' by Iron Maiden, so it is well worth the effort.  The only thing that REALLY pissed me off about the list was the mention of Living Color seemingly in place of a little band we like to call Bad Brains.

Racist Homophobic Teabagger Assholes Of The Day: Pat Dollard

We will never ever reach the end of racist, paranoid conservative insanity in this country.  These crazy fuckers hate so completely, so blindly that we as reasonable, intelligent, sane beings can do nothing to help them.  Plus, at least half of them are probably self-hating closet cases, and that's pretty funny, considering.

Remember How Obama Fluffers Say Obama Is Not Bush's Third Term?

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Portland And The CIA: Retarding Progress

The CIA and Portland belong together!  It is very nice of the CIA to make sure that America really is fucking up every possible thing we can around the world.  I'm sure the ass clowns in Portland would completely understand destroying the reputation of science to further some inane personal agenda.

Sally Sally Sally, And Jon And Rico and Susie and Sarah

That Bitch!

She would have lost her House seat anyway, so Michele Bachmann decided to save herself embarrassment, but this is another example of a flaming lunatic not thinking of how much the rest of us were counting on her for high-calorie entertainment.  No matter, though, because she's really not going anywhere.  She'll be out of the House, but there are plenty of fucked-up wingnut retards left there.  Look for her to immediately show up on some sort of pathetic welfare like Fox "News" the same way Palin did.  That gay conversion therapy her husband does every year ain't cheap.  Not much help, either, from the looks of it.

Hey, It's Linc Chafee

Whatevs.  Rhode Island is a weird little place, way weirder than you would think if you had never experienced it in person.  Chafee's long slow walk to the Democratic party is not much of surprise given the way the New England Republican party has been euthanized by the Teabaggers.  It's also much easier since most of the old-school semi-intelligent Rockefeller Republicans are dead now.

High Fire Way

Early Judging Obamacare

What will be the judgement of Obamacare?  Not good.  Regardless, the best case would be a shitty outcome, leaving the U.S. far behind every other civilized developed half-way functional nation on Earth.  Anything short of the best case will be a fucking abortion, with a for-profit insurance infrastructure combined with bureaucratic ass-covering after the for-profit insurance sector fucks up horrendously leaving everyone feeling worse off than they were before.  I cannot see a way that the Democratic party will not regret the passage of Obamacare.  Of course, this is the Dems fault for not spending the 20 years since Hillary fucked this up so badly educating the American people and preparing the culture for the possibility of true national health care in the form of Single Payer or National Health.

When Nike Thinks You Suck, You Must Be Really Sucky

Cuz Nike is one of the shittiest organizations in the whole fucking world!  Maybe Livestrong and Komen can join up and create the dumbest charitable organization ever!

Other Weird Shit In Sweden

Someone in the Swedish government is pissed about the whole Saab disaster.  Victor Muller was always a skeevy bastard; the fact that he was paid an outrageous salary as a "consultant" made it seem like maybe, just maybe he wasn't really all that interested in running a car company in Sweden.  Last week some shit went down, but Muller himself is probably well-protected.  Sure, he destroyed the company through incompetence and skimming off tens of thousands of dollars each month that could have been used to pay bills and keep the assembly lines running, but Muller made a nice packet, and the workers lost everything.

Believe It Or Not, Iraq Is Still There

It's nice to know that after we the people of the United States have paid to completely fuck up Iraq for more than a generation, the remarkable shit show will continue long after anyone in America gives any fucks at all.  Whether it is the depleted uranium, shredded infrastructure, or the political and social obliteration, we can be sure as a nation that our tax money was well-spent.

Oh, Hi! Enjoy Memorial Day

Krugman's Opponents Make It Too Easy For Him

Say what you want about Krugman, but he is having more than a little fun with some pure-bred fucking jerkoffs.  His savaging of Harvard's latest huge embarrassments Reinhart and Rogoff, who are locked in a battle royale with Jason Richwine to see who are Cambridge's biggest assholes of the first half of 2013, is causing more than a bit of butthurt amongst the reactionary neoliberal establishment.  Krugman is keeping up the pressure, and when his targets started calling him names, you can't help but feel that Krugman is close to cracking them wide open.  The best fun might still be in future on this; let's hope so.  It's not like Reinhart and Rogoff were instrumental in fucking up the world economy or anything, so hurt fee fees are the real issues here.

Meanwhile, Kicking Jim Hoft When He's Down Is Genuine Comedy

This shit is at least 217% funnier than P.J. O'Rourke's entire life's work combined.  Poor Jim Hoft.  He really is apparently that stupid, as well as so bugfuck ignorant that his nasty little world is entirely removed from anything resembling reality.  Fuck 'em, though; they're not even worth our pity.

P.J. O'Rourke: America's Longest-Lasting Barometer Of Banality

Reading any P.J. O'Rourke, if by the second paragraph you are not completely bored with his astoundingly trite and lazy prose, then you are probably a giant fucking douchebag.  Any O'Rourke is just as pathetic as any other, whether it is one of his sadly derivative books or embarrassingly hacktackular columns for the likes of shit shows like The Weekly Standard.  He's been on the lower rungs of wingnut welfare for two generations now; that is a sad indictment of the state of our politics as well as our political "humour".

How To Frak Up The Electric Car, Version 1 Billion and 1 (Isreali Edition)

Oops.  From the coverage that is bubbling up after the failure of the Better Place enterprise, the CEO was another of the endless parade of dim-bulb bullshit artists who so effortlessly exploited the vanity and ignorance of the community of "elites".  Too bad these idiots are never smart or talented enough to actually accomplish anything.  Assholes.  But I'm sure a whole gaggle of those cocksuckers got paid!

More Deep-As-A-Bottle-Cap Twaddle From The King Of The Village Idiot Wannabes

Seriously, why bring this up if you are too much of a pussy--or too much of a dimwit--to finish the thought?  Post civil war history is a pretty well-trodden subject, so whatever you have to say is probably one, not that fucking original, and two, not that controversial at this point.  Which is fine, just fine, because in this case it is really important and shit, but why would you not go even most of the way?  I don't get people, I guess. No, really, I do understand people, especially people who are little more than entry-level bootlickers in the courtier press establishment.

Like A Youtube Clip Recorded Live In Your Room

In retrospect, Liz Phair really was just some spoiled kid recording youtube vids in her bedroom at her parent's house or in her dorm room.  Time hasn't been kind; she had one or two good songs--okay, three--and somehow kept it going for a while before it all went pear-shaped.  "Polyester Bride" played the part of the good song on the difficult third album.  (This tee vee show appearance was an excellent venue for Ms. Phair.)

What The Hell Is Jan Brewer Up To?

Jan Brewer seems to be attempting to act like a Governor in Arizona, at least with regards to the Medicaid expansion available to the states with Obamacare.  Given the fact that Brewer is a well-known asswhipe, I wonder whether her position is an excellent leadership tactic or an utter failure to properly handle the state legislature.  Also, is Brewer in favor of the Medicaid expansion because it makes sense for the people in Arizona, or is she fucking up in some way?  We may never know the answers to these important questions, but tune in next time for another exciting episode of Bullshit, or Not?

Rainy Night

Insane Rant For The Dipshits In Portland To Sing

Portland Oregon's Tainted Precious Bodily Fluids and Tainted Intelligence

Portland, Oregon: at least 50% dumber than you thought.  These poor, deluded idiots voted against basic intelligence once again when they voted against water fluoridation.  This is a pretty sad and disgusting turn of events, placing Portland square in the middle of the wingnut assholes, anti-vaccination morons, and tin-foil hat wearing whackjobs.  It is clear that Portland didn't want their precious bodily fluids tainted by fluoride, by science, by evidence, or by basic comprehension.  General Jack D. Ripper would be very proud; the paranoid loons at Info Wars, the climate deniers, and the gun crazy teabaggers have many brothers and sisters in Portland.  They are all too fucking stupid to understand very basic science and how evidence works.  That's sad, because it is always way harder--and more expensive--to fix the problem later.  Of course, the biggest overprivileged cocksuckers in the world have lots of stunningly unintelligent things to say on this; it was good to see a few decent spuds toss a little reality into that shit stew.

Theme Song: "I'll Be Around"

When You've Lost Sweden

The collapse of the economy and growing social and economic inequality are not just for the banana republics and the United States anymore.  Sweden is facing the same sort of problems as the rest of the world.  The economic overlords turned out to be really bad at their jobs, and now the entire world is suffering for it.  This shit is not going away.  There are two solutions.  One involves economic growth and economic justice.  The other involves repression, violence, and death.  Which one do you thinks the big money boys and their puppets will choose?

So, You Want The Creepiest Wingnut Asshole Working Today?

It is this sick motherfucker.  Why do I get the feeling he's doing his best Bill O'Reilly on himself while he imagines the worst of a couple of teenagers?  How much of douchebag do you have to be to care what the kids are doing?  Teenagers have sex.  It's fun.  It's normal.  It is healthy.  The parents of the younger girl should be publicly horse whipped for their despicable behavior and loathsome ignorant homophobia.  What the girls did was perfectly fine.  It's the grownups who have fucked this all up.  Florida is a fucking hellhole, and McCain is a vile cretin. 

Political Song for Gay Atheist Boy Scouts to Sing

California Will Be The Obamacare Pathfinder?

That would be fine, just fine IF it works out, but...I'm not all that confident.  Now, California certainly has a shitload of incentive to get Obamacare right.  The important question is how right is right?  What's the best Obamacare can do, and will that be good enough?  Perhaps Cali will light the way.

Paging Senator Markey

It looks like Ed Markey is a pretty good student.  Local sources say he's been running hard and running well, putting on an organized campaign so that he doesn't lose the easy one like the last special election Dem candidate.  Hey!  That's something.  Better Markey than some scumbag teabagger or fucking retard like Scott Brown.

Benghazi, CIA; The Pool, The Pond

The pond would be good for you.  Benghazi = CIA is an equation we're not seeing much of in the media and certainly not in the teabagger fever dreams.  The simple truth is indeed out there, though.  Whether or not most folks know or want to know what was really going on in Libya, the CIA was neck deep in the shit that went down in Benghazi.  Unfortunately for the wingnuts, that little slice of reality would be no fun for them, so they are doing the damnedest to just ignore it.

Bridges To Nowhere

Oops.  Pray tell, what is the critical mass for shit falling apart before the fine, fine American people start to notice and get at least Medea Benjamin-level pissed about it?  I'd love to find out the answer to that question without the actual rubble all around as proof.  There's a shitload of people out of work, and double shitloads of stuff that needs to be done.  Priorities, priorities, priorities.  This is another huge political issue that could be a winner for the Democrats in 2014.

Virag's Movie Reviews: Django Unchained (2012)

Jackie Brown must have been incredibly stressful for Quentin Tarantino.  After his first two films, he finally went all out to make an actual movie, a good movie with the sort of structure that makes character development and the ability to tell a story very important.  Jackie Brown was a fantastic film.  After that though, Tarantino pretty much gave up and started making silly homage exercises, entertaining but ultimately pretty lightweight.  Django Unchained continued that tradition.  It is little more than a hyper-violent live-action cartoon in the tradition of the Tasmanian Devil and the Road Runner.  The hilarious and completely unrealistic orgy of violence made the slavery setting more than a little incongruous.  You can't overthink Tarantino.  He's not putting that much effort into it.  He just wants to make a cool-looking comedy flick that shows off his film nerd bona fides.  He's the ultimate movie dope, or at least slacker.  He has no larger point to make, so why would you get all bent?  It's not worth it.  Django Unchained, while way too long, was a fun flick that made almost as much sense as Blazing Saddles.  Christoph Waltz had a fucking blast--you could tell; Tarantino should make a series of movies with Waltz and Jamie Foxx going around and shooting people.  The secondary cast was wicked cool, too.  Dennis Christopher.  It's too bad that Shane Vendrell wasn't given more to do.  Sonny Crockett may have been enjoying himself a bit too much.  And certainly Samuel L. deserves a special recognition for so convincingly bringing his vision of Clarance Thomas to the screen the way he did. In the end, DU was too much like all of Tarantino's previous work since Jackie Brown: fun and entertaining but ultimately so much less than it could have been and unsatisfying compared to his best.

Political Song for The Boy Scouts to Sing

Why Has The United States Outsourced All Shouty Protest To Medea Benjamin?

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Welcome To The 20th Century, You Boy Scouts

The Hitler Youth The Boy Scouts crawled weakly into the 20th century today when they decided to stop so blatantly discriminating against homosexual scouts.  Those motherfucking atheists, though, the scouts don't want those assholes around!

Weiner Weiner Weiner

Everybody loves a Weiner?  Well, not so much, but if by some miracle, the fucking dipshit known as Anthony Weiner manages to get hisself elected mayor, well, I think we'll all be just a little worse and a little better at the same time.  But fuck, if we won't have a shitload of cheap dick jokes!  And let's not forget that his wife is an agent of the scary scary moo-slim brotherhood!!

More Good News For A Democratic 2014 If They Want It

End the tax exempt bullshit for teabaggers and Karl Rove and all the rest.  This should have been the first thing that Obama said on the matter; this tax exempt nonsense also should be a huge campaign issue, and the President could easily lead on this.  The only groups getting tax exempt status should be the genuine non-profit charities.  Every one else can pay the fucking taxes or go out of business.  This would be a great 2014 issue, and a fine way to show what ignorant pussies the teabaggers are.  Should, should, could, would; watch the Democrats completely fail on this shit, too, because they are not really interesting interested in being a real, philosophical opposition to the conservative political establishment of which they are a huge component.

Let's Remember That Rahm Emanuel Is A Creature Of The Clintons AND Obama

Greasy cocksucker Rahm Emanuel is obviously one of the worst Americans alive today, but please, let us remember that he is closely tied to the Clintons and Obama.  Everything he fucks up has been enabled by the rock-ribbed conservative Democratic party establishment. 

More Decent Abrams Trek 2 Savaging

This fella brings up some of the ongoing idiocy, slides in a shot at the execrable First Contact, and manages to slam RDM's BG and Damon Lindelof at the same time.  Good fun!

Abrams Trek Spoiler FAQ

This is funny.  Hatin' on assholes and dummies and talentless hacks is so very very American and so very very helpful.  Seriously, after 50 fucking years, there have been so many really great and compelling ideas in the Star Trek universe that there is absolutely no excuse for ripping off the dreck and coming up with something as cruelly stupid as Abrams Trek 2.  Abrams and his band of douchebags are a blight on our species.

Like Sunday

2014: Another Winner If The Dems Are For Real

The Oklahoma tornadoes and the teabagging morons have given the Dems another way to win in 2014.  How serious are they about winning?

Oklahoma: These Are Your Boys

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Abrams Trek 2 Will Definitely Not Be The Worst And Dumbest SciFi Abortion Of The Summer

Because there is After Earth.  Let's be honest.  Not even JJ Abrams and his band of hacktacular idiots can beat the ruling kings of embarrassingly awful and horribly stupid movies: Will Smith and M. Night Shyamalan.  That's an epic shit show combination that may in fact finally destroy our space-time continuum. 

TBogg Gets Brutalized On FDL

Obama mega-fluffer TBogg gets fucking sodomized by his peers on FDL over Bradley Manning.  I'd imagine that's gonna require a whole lot of ego soothing and circle jerking from the Team O fellows on behalf of the L&T TBogg.  As far as TBogg goes, low-effort internets snarkster and rock-ribbed conservative establishment Democratic about covers it.  He really shoulda gone quietly when he closed up his original blog; he would have been remembered for the humor and humanity rather than the second-rate gurgling fluff work.  The shit he wrote after his dad died was beyond brilliant and funny and insightful.  Such is the bread of an everyday life.

WTF Oklahoma Tornadoes

A nightmare of tornadoes today in Oklahoma.  Death, destruction, suffering, it is all right there for consumption on the tee vee "news".  You want infrastructure repair and upgrade?  There's some.  For gods' sakes, though, since their governor is a rock-ribbed Republican, I'm sure the fine victims will eschew any governmental relief at all from any level, federal, state, local, and will completely rely on their imaginary god, the charity of the Koch brothers and the Koch suckers, along with their very own mother fucking bootstraps to recover and rebuild.  America, Fuck Yeah!

Dirty, Dirty Flower

This is the original, homemade version with girlfriend instead of minions.  I guess being bisexual was too scary for Matador Records or somethin'. 

Fox "News" Are Total Pussies

Before the tornadoes today, Fox "News" was nothing but whingy pussies bitching about poor, stupid James Rosen being picked on by those black dudes.  Frankly, Fox "News" and all their compatriots thought this unconstitutional, police state bullshit was fine, just fine until they found themselves in the crosshairs.  Well, fuck them; they waited way to long to join the fucking party, and now nobody gives a flying fuck.  Nice going, assholes.

Lite Green

Abrams Trek 2: The Reviews Are Brutal

The reviews of titanic dipshit JJ Abrams' second Star Trek flick have been pretty fucking bad.  Even the decent ones say how fucking inane the whole enterprise is.  That's pretty fucking hilarious.  The first one sucked monkey balls, and in the end, nothing else was possible.  This is the land of highly-paid failures, and Hollywood easily rivals DC and Manhattan as the epicenter of worthless shitbirds. 

James Rosen: Idiot And Criminal?

James Rosen is a Fox "News" asshole and possible criminal conspirator, according to the Justice Department.  All of the sudden, Fox "News" and many others are going batshit because even the nasty bullshit the government does these days is often completely legal.  This is what a police state looks like, folks.  The trampling of individual rights is the new rule of law, and Obama is just as guilty as Bush, Clinton, Bush, Reagan, and the rest.

Don't Frak With Jon Voight's Daughter I Guess

I would tend to give Angelina Jolie a bit of forbearance because one, her father was Jon Voight and he's a a fucking douchenozzle, and two, she was legally married to Billy Bob Thornton and that can't have been a picnic.  That said, cancer, health care, and privilege went nuts on the internets in the wake of Ms. Jolie's news; wealth and privilege are the key points, especially in a nation like the USA where health care is completely a luxury and not a right.

Dire Straits Sucks: Yet Another Thing John Peel Got Right

Wandered by some sorry son of a bitch on the internets--cough, John Cole, cough--who mentioned that Dire Straits was one of his favorite bands.  Every time some asshole says something like this, I am reminded that not only do I hate the awful mess that is Dire Straits and Mark Knopfler's idiot-son-of-Bob-Dylan singing affectations, but also that transcendent good stuff expert John Peel had no time for the likes of Dire Straits.  Since much of Peel's taste in music mirrors mine, I agree that Peel was a fucking genius. 

Harvey Wasserman Twofer

Solartopian Harvey Wasserman gets a twofer on the interwebs media exposure at CounterPunch and FDL with the very same article about the San Onfore nuke plant.  Nothing wrong with that; more Harvey Wasserman and less of the assholes like Jonathan Karl and we'd all be fucking golden.

Big Gay French Marriage

Another big gay step forward for same-sex divorce in France.  The dominoes are a' fallin'.

Trashing Jonathan Karl Is Good Fun

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Ed Show Return'd

Wasn't that fucker sposed to be on for two (2) hours each day Saturday and Sunday?  That would be cool, cuz that would give him as much air time as Larry O'Donnell.  Seriously, MSNBC pretty much shuts down on weekends, so between the four hours a day in the morning, three or four hours in the afternoon with Big Ed and Karen Finney, at least that would be a start of being a full-time cable network.

Might As Well Jumpers

Goodbye To Kepler

The Kepler telescope looks like it is toast.  There's not much that can be done now, and whatever they are trying is not a high-probability success.  This might be a good time to discuss priorities, but there's little chance of that given our decaying idiot culture. 

The Worst Thing About Portlandia?

Is the worst thing about Portlandia not the insultingly insipid "comedy", but the fact that the rancid stench coming off Fred Armisen fatally taints Sleater-Kinney?  Armisen couldn't ruin The Mekons by marrying Sally, but his heinous tee vee show is making Carrie Brownstein look worse all the time.

More Benghazi Reality Chex

Like a drip, drip, drip of cleansing light, there is more useful information about the Benghazi nonsense all the time.  As a people, we are very poorly served by the right-wing dipshits in Congress and Fox "News"; with a real investigation into this shit, it would get very interesting very quickly.

Workin' Progress: Hannah Had Read Calvert

Hannah had read Calvert pretty young.  She was probably eight when she first started A Year On Mars, though she'd put it down after not too long to finish her consumption of the Wrinkle In Time books and the Narnias and the Tolkien and the Dahl.  All that had left her somewhat peeved; back then she couldn't quite put her finger on it, but something was pissing her off in the aftermath, so it was a couple of years later that she picked up Calvert again, and it was the book that she carried around with her to read when her assigned reading was done.  Once she finished, Mick got her the book Andrew Glasner had written about Calvert and A Year.  Glasner was probably a little too close to the subject, but he did an excellent job, Hannah thought, becoming Calvert's Ellmann more than anything else.  Now more than 20 years later, Calvert seemed to be the most widely read author in human existence.  Of course her father had read him, but so had Tom and Eric and most of the others.  It was a prep school thing, a New York State and New England college thing.  20 plus years on, she almost thought she was living it.  Nothing had been lost, of course, and anything she wanted to read or see was available, but she was amazed that the maudlin and insufferable book she had been strangely unable to resist, partly because it spoke to her about her father, was now some sort of horrible, annoying prescience. 

Hannah was blessed that she had completely ignored Harry Potter.  Mick had advised her to read more before she wasted her time with that shit, and by the time she picked up Calvert again, she'd read enough to skip it entirely for many years.  Weary curiosity made her pick it up three or four years after the whole thing started, but she was so horrified that she was 15 before she blew through a few of them because some of her friends at Hotchkiss were reading them, but it wasn't her bag.  Her father encouraged her to read anything, even that shit if she wanted, but to keep reading.  She read his books and Con's few books when she was bored growing up, so she was able to tell what was worthwhile early on--and her father had warned her when she was around eight that the years before she started high school would go quicker than she could know and that she should be taking all the opportunities to read widely while she could.  She was served well by the two or three or four books going at once habit as she got older, but she fortunately acquired her father's music and literature snobbery so that she had no stomach for wasting her time with or committing her precious attention to hackneyed garbage.

Though the MD/PhD idea had been hers, mostly to get a shitload of school for free, Hannah would have wanted to get a literature degree if she had been completely honest at 17 and would have had she known how things were going to play out.  Her father had started before she was five, encouraging her to focus, make her own decisions, and live with the consequences.  His only option for her had been medical school unless she came up with a better option.  Hannah always suspected that he was 50% fucking with her, but as the years went by she saw that he was not going to let her off easy.  The singing career wasn't gonna happen.  6'4" 210 lb. ballerinas weren't a thing.  Engineering seemed more than a little limited.  She had options for athletic scholarships.  She was good at math and had a talent for science.  Mick recognized years before Hannah did that she would be extremely interested in intimidating her peers in ways that weren't height-related.  At every step of the way Mick was there to encourage her, push her, help her and support her.  He was very clear: he'd do anything he could he do to help her, and he expected nothing less then 100% success.  He did not tell her what to do.  He asked her what she was going to do.  How was she going to get it done?  With that, he kept her on track.

She'd started her plans in high school.  After a couple of years her grades were good and she started talking about them.  She was actually not that interested in medical school or being a doctor--until she got there, and then she found it far easier than she thought, and was honestly curious about how she would like dealing with patients--but she kept science and the med school and doctorate plan as her focus.  Mick recognized immediately that she was making an MD/PhD program her fallback position, which made him so proud.  Her grades stayed good.  Her plan worked exceedingly well.  And now she was here.  What could be less useful than a PhD in biochemistry or a medical degree?  Between the two of them, she and Dillon had an MD, a PhD, a JD, and an MBA.  An existential joke?  No doubt, but if she was ever going to be a painter or a poet or something equally as ephemeral, she now had the time to find out.

For the next few years, Hannah was going to be working on taking care of the twins.  She had a feeling there would be more fully human children soon enough.  The Berottis, Olivia Park and her husband, Julienne and Genevieve and their husbands, Melissa--both Melissas--Rachel, Cynthia, but mostly the older women, they were going to be shocked.  Maybe her mother, too.  There was a lot of fucking going on, and more all the time, so there were going to be babies.  That's what they would be doing for quite awhile.  They'd be having babies and reading and eventually creating.  That was what Mick had said he was so curious about.  He had told Hannah that he was curious to see what would be created by the last people.  What sort of legacy would the last cohort leave behind?  Mick was sure that the children born would not be solely human, but Hannah wasn't sure about that.

Both moons were up now, energizing the purple glow of the sky with a vibrant reflected light, and the water was glowing brightly at the horizon line.  Hannah was watching the fires below from her balcony and listening to the patterns of the voices.  She had finally had the shower she been skipping, and dressed in a nearly threadbare genuine Hotchkiss swimming t-shirt and amazingly stretchy shorts, she watched Tom carrying out a huge tub of ice to Kevin and Con and turned away from the scene below to join them.

Who Will Be Shocked When Obama Approves The Keystone XL Project?

Unless it is your first day on this planet or you are a religious Fox "News" viewer, you will not be at all surprised when Obama comes out in favor of the Keystone XL pipeline project.  I mean, seriously, that was a fucking given from the beginning.  Obama has been sucking Koch on this pipeline deal all along.

Weird World Internet Story Of The Day

This fucking freak, Kai the Hitchhiker, who gave a hilarious interview to a local news reporter and became internet famous, has been arrested for murder in New Jersey.  Too bad the crazy fucker didn't use a drone...

Maryland Gun Funfetti

Maryland's insanely mild and useless assault weapons ban is not really going to do much to protect people, but it is useful as politics meant to fuck with the guntards and the NRA establishment.  When the states who are governed by the sane, the rational, the decent all take on the dumb fuckers and NRA's of the world, that will make the asshole Red states look even nuttier in comparison, and that will be very helpful in undermining the teabagger part of our rock-ribbed conservative establishment government.

Michael Kinsley Sucks Now And Forever, Amen

It is always fun to see Michael Kinsley get slammed with some well-deserved opprobrium from his betters.  Kinsley vs. Krugman is not at all a fair fight--in fact Kinsley doesn't really even show up, apparently--but Kinsley has been a first-class Village Idiot douchebag from way, way back, and he deserves all the scorn he gets at this point.

Time With You

The Best Thing Eric Holder's Ever Done?

Eric Holder is a giant piece of shit way back from the Clinton days, but to see him take out his dick and piss all over that walking cockbag Darrell Issa right in front of Issa's subordinates, well, that was fucking sweet.  It might be the most useful thing Holder's ever done for America!

Fools On Pararde: Repubs Obamacare Repeal Shit Show

If any Democratic candidates for 2014 want to make the Republicans and teabaggers look even more batshit crazy, the Obamacare "repeal" puppet show that Boehner is scaring up would be a great start.  2014 is ripe for the Democrats to skull fuck the Republicans, but time is running out on framing a powerful national platform with which to win.

Real Benghazi Scandals

The CIA is the key.  If the asswipes at Fox "News" and the dipshits in the Republican House were not so fucking asinine, the Benghazi attacks could have been a real political problem for both parties, and that was exactly what the Republicans did not want.

Welcome To The Imperial Overreach Party, Pal

About 60 years too late, the idiots who make up the conservative movement are suddenly all fucking freaked out by the fact that the government does horrible--and often completely legal, as in the case of the AP--shit that fucks with the freedom and life and happiness of the American people.  Thanks a bunch, you fucking retards.  Now that the teabaggers got some grief, and it is Obama doing the nasty shit and not a Bush or a Reagan, the Republicans are outraged!  Well, too bad these hypocrite cocksuckers were not fighting the good fight like ACLU since the beginning.  Getting upset now just makes the conservatives look even dumber.

Big Gay Minnesota

Minnesota strikes a blow for marriage equality and the glory of same-sex divorce!  What the fuck are crazy haters gonna do when the gays are getting married anywhere they want?

Cardinal Sean O'Malley: Asshole Of The Day

To be fair, Cardinal O'Malley would have a great shot of being the asshole of the day on any day of any year.

Maximize The Minimum Wage

Minimum wage should be--and would be!--a winner for the Dems for a thousand years if the elected leaders and other liberals and progressives would show some balls.  That's tough for the conservative Democratic establishment, though, because they serve the same masters as the GOP.

Workin' Progress: Tokyo Towers

Hannah came back on the far side of the Village.  Coming out into the sunlight she saw the towers on the other side of the cove.  Tokyo Towers, Dillon had said on the first day.  More than a few of them would get that, she knew.  She hadn't looked at the layout of the golf course, but she did recognize some elements of the layout in front of her.  There was a lot of her father here, which made sense.  Some of Lakeville, too, that she could see.  That told her much about how this originated.  The towers, they were probably a view Dillon had seen a time or two years ago when he drove that old black Saab across town after a few too many looking for pussy.  Hannah was mildly shocked there wasn't a mashup of a couple of fraternity houses, but there was so much time.  The golf course was well-placed, though.  When they wanted to branch out, there was the perfect spot right there.

Hannah felt pretty good.  It was odd to not be carrying anything.  After years and years and years with backpacks and messenger bags and tons of paraphernalia and shit, she'd just taken an impossible journey in a shiny little dress and sandals.  Fucked up.  The sun was going down now.  The different times and different days were still new, but the nap she'd had was a huge bonus too.  What had Tom been up to?  Hannah was silently thrilled how graceful she felt.  The comfortable temperature, the lowering light, and the walk turned her on more than a little.  She was not nearly as apprehensive as her father was, as Tom was.  Yes, it was unprecedented, but these people would be very resilient.  What choice did they have?  Life or death?  Long life.  Infinite possibilities.

Before she passed the big pool, she could hear them gathering.  Was this a night for the big moon early?  The far horizon was beginning to glow, so she thought it was.  Bright white to flow into the purple darkness.  Another perfect night, and soon there would be more people.  More connections.  More support.  More focus.  And time.  So much time. 

Jon Stewart's Bit On The IRS Was Beyond Stupid

Really?  That assclown Stewart his writers suddenly realized that the IRS has been doing some pretty underhanded shit, and not just under Obama's administration?  That's just great; what would have worked a whole lot better though would have been if a shitload of "professional left" commentators did a little pushback by understanding that maybe, just maybe the IRS was actually doing its job by scrutinizing those teabagger assholes at least as hard as they do every other group.  But no, that would be just too damn hard for a bunch of village idiot wannabees who would never want to upset the rock-ribbed conservative Democratic and Republican establishment in Washington.  Political attacks using the IRS never generate any outrage from the establishment unless they somehow target the brainless foot soldiers of the right.  That's pretty typical behavior.

Update: Holy shit, now JJ Abrams?  Oh, jesus, Stewart's show tonight is like a justification for our society to be enthusiastically smote by an especially vicious god.

Workin' Progress: City With No Children

Hannah knew a few things.  She knew was loving the barefoot style she was grooving lately.  She knew Kevin Douglas was a fucking animal.  He and Conny had been drinking and barbequing pretty much non-stop; whoever had the idea to get that going was onto something.  Hannah had never seen Kevin, or her uncle, like this when she was young, but those two were really were raging now.  Pretty much everyone was drifting in and out day and night between swimming or golf or sleeping or fucking or whatever else they got themselves up to; the endless party was a hit.  Hannah was not partaking herself, though she could have completely safely.  What she wanted, really, was to get her father there for a little human interaction.  Hell, Dylan, too.

Rachel and Melissa Berotti were there now, drinking pretty heavily it appeared.  Their parents were there.  Olivia Park.  Another thing Hannah knew was that if her mother caught her talking with Olivia Park about pregnancy again, her mother was liable to lose it.  Cynthia Kvale was out on the plaza.  Melissa Carpenter, too.  It was distinctly possible that Kevin was fucking her; they must have known each other in college.  Was it a renewal?  And was Conn fucking someone here?  It didn't matter.

Dillon was still sleeping when Hannah got up.  She put on what was essentially a shimmering slip dress.  Though it looked genuinely metallic, it was smooth and light and comfortable.  Because she was traveling, she slipped on some sandals.  And panties.  Very important when visiting your father.  After putting her hair up and taking a pee--shower?  bath?  who needs that?--she grabbed an extremely large mug of very cold orange juice and walked down into the courtyard where Kevin was sitting with his feet up, bottle in hand.

It was only after reaching ground level that Hannah realized how early it was.  The angle of the sun, the extremely low level of activity, the look on Kevin's face all told her that it was barely past sun up and not nearly as long into the morning as she had thought.

     -Oh, fuck me running, Hannah said, unloading herself onto the chair next to Kevin and slipping her sandals off.  What fucking time is it, dude?

The thing she loved about the material of the courtyard was that thought it looked like masonry or flagstones or something, it was actually ever so slightly yielding, though not enough so that anything she had seen thus far left a depression, and it was amazingly comfortable on her feet, warm when it was cool in the night and cool to the touch under the sun.  Fucking magic.  She kneaded her toes under the table.  Lovely.

     -No fucking clue, Kevin said, slightly slurring and propping himself up a bit higher in the chair.  Bout an hour, hour plus after dawn.  He put his bottle next to his chair.  Fuck, this thing is piss warm.  Where's fucking Con?

Hannah remembered Kevin Douglas when she was a kid.  He was so much shaggier now and seemed taller, probably because he was not nearly so beefy as he had been.  His beard had ungrayed and his hair was longer ever day.  His bulk was reduced to a visible gut and still-pretty-fucking-big arms.  He was a fucking fish.  Had it been his idea to rustle up the stuff to cook outside like that?  Fucking genius; it was the focal point for everyone now.  Hannah had even seen the Berotti kids there, though they weren't children by any means.  Still, fucking genius.  Even the people who didn't want to rage like Kevin and Connie could drift in and out and always have a place where they wouldn't have to be too alone in their heads. 

     -Fuckin' golf course now.  When'd that happen?  I was here pretty much every night and didn't notice that shit.  Fucked up.  Those things.  What'd Mick call 'em?

     -Rover.  Rovers.

     -Yeah.  Fucking comedian.  Fuckin' sneaky those things.

Cornelius rumbled onto the courtyard carrying a couple of pitchers in each hand.

     -Hannah!

     -Drinks?

     -Two screwdriver, two bloody mary, one peppery, one classic.  But wait one sec.

He looked over his shoulder and right on time Melissa Carpenter brought a giant coffee pot into the sunlight, followed closely by Cynthia Kvale carrying the plain juice in six glass carafes arranged on a tray.

     -That.  Apple, orange, grape, grapefruit, cranberry, and...orange again it looks like.  How the fuck did that happen?  Where's the plain tomato?  Shit.  Anyway.

     -Brilliant! Hannah said as she leaned toward the table and put her giant plastic mug on the translucent surface facing her.

George Donaldson, Sara Kenny, and Jean Quinn brought out three huge serving bowls and arranged them on one of the other tables.  This was a Cornelius special and must have been what Kevin was waiting for.  It was a huge fruit salad in one of the bowls.  Hannah could recognize his style.  Under the domed top of the second was oatmeal, and the third flatter bowl had toasted bread slices. 

Before Hannah could move, Kevin leaned over and asked her if she wanted anything.  He brought her back oatmeal in a bowl and fruit salad on a plate.  Con poured her some black coffee and refilled her juice.  Jean came over and complimented her on her shiny, soft dress.

     -I'm a shiny space beetle.  Don't fuck with me, Hannah told her.

It was getting a little louder as they came out.  Hannah figured some of them were early risers, like the Berottis and Olivia Park, but most of them were probably out here till nearly dawn and were attracted by the noise and the promise of food and coffee and possibly some of Con's screwdrivers and bloody marys.  Melissa and Rachel Berotti ran over and hugged Hannah when they spotted her, rubbing Hannah's shiny   beetle belly.  Kevin was double fisting bloody marys and wolfing down oatmeal and toast.  He had to be a fucking animal to keep that down, she thought.  Con came over and kissed her forehead and checking if she needed anything.  She remembered Con and Kevin as old men most recently; she'd been too young to understand what a waste product Con had been, but he and Kevin were turning this little assemblage into quite the party.  Considering what they were going through, they probably couldn't help fucking and drinking and whatever else as much as they could.  Hannah wasn't facing that because of her pregnancy.  This would be not the worst thing for Mick, though.  And Dylan.  Hannah would probably handle the fucking Tom part, but she wouldn't mind see him getting shitfaced with these idiots once in a while.

Hannah figured that maybe Kevin was getting it on with Melissa Carpenter; he had to have known her back at Illinois, and maybe he had hooked up with her back then, but Hannah was proven wrong when Cynthia Kvale plopped herself onto his lap with a not-so-sober giggle and licking kiss.  Melissa Carpenter was not visible to Hannah when she looked around.  Very sober, somewhat pregnant Hannah almost peed herself when Melissa Berotti walked up behind where Con was sitting across the table from Kevin and licked his face.  Well, well, well.  So much for the Berotti girls being sober and restrained.  Hannah spent nearly an hour there, enjoying the gathering, regretting being up at this hour, and chatting before she took her leave and left to cross over to her find her father.

Sometimes, Almost Always

Vernon Wells 2013

Another great pickup for the Yanks.  For all the talk in the preseason that Wells was going to sink in the Bronx and take the battered Bombers with him, he has certainly stepped up and played the role the Yankees need extremely well.  Plus, it's always fun to see the clowns be so very wrong...

Want Some Bottle Cap-Deep "Liberal" Analysis?

Here ya go.  This dipshit is about as deep as a puddle in a Wal-Mart parking lot.  This is what passes for "liberal" "analysis" in our world.  We are fucked.

Venezuelan Math Hates America

Obviously!  Obama's resistance to the results of Venezuela's has nothing to do with reality, with fraud, or with justice and everything to do with American interests and hemispherical hegemony.  Just because Obama and other American conservatives don't like the results does not mean they are fraudulent.  Venezuela's future depends on continuing the Bolivarian Revolution, and success will not be easy, so if American imperial influence causes backsliding into right-wing third world dictatorship, that would be a huge defeat for the people of Venezuela. 

Virag's Movie Reviews: Battleship (2012)

Oh, baby!  Battleship sucked.  It was Michael-Bay-Transformers-4 bad.  At times, I thought that maybe Peter Berg was creating a vicious satire of a big, dumb, expensive, toy-based movie, but the film was so murderously stupid and so astoundingly sloppy that it was nothing but awful and inane.  Everything in the movie concerning the US Navy was risible, and the rest of Battleship felt stitched together out of bad scenes from other movies, threadbare Hollywood cliches, and barely warmed-over tripe.  I loved how the deep-space radio message had an inexplicable and impossible 6-year turnaround and that the alien ships were utter crap as ocean vessels and useless as aircraft with hilariously ungainly weapons and completely worthless tracking systems.  Good thing, cuz otherwise, the regular old US Navy would have lasted about 15 seconds into the encounter with the aliens.  Where exactly were the nuclear weapons on those navy ships?  This was a fucking alien invasion, and the only thing that saved the world was the blatant incompetence of the alien engineers and mission planners.  And the alien ships had windshields!  The space creatures were dumb enough to build stupid warships with a flying bridge and breakable, clear window right in front of the command and control stations!  Holy shit, that is so fucking dumb that it belongs in a JJ Abrams Star Trek flick!  Had Berg wished to make a corrosive parody of Michael Bay or JJ Abrams or some other talentless hack motherfucker's movies, he needed to be able to rise above the bottom of the bottom of the barrel.  And Liam Neeson was in it; I'm sure he laughed his balls off when he cashed that fucking check.

Elizabeth Warren Has Some Fun

Elizabeth Warren has been having some fun at the expense of some the bigger assholes fucking up our country.  If she keeps her focus and avoids becoming a parody of a Senator, something 90+% of them are unable to do, she could actually do a tiny bit of good.  The unending agony she is causing for the right wing assholes is a benefit on its own.

Family Fights Over Imperialism

Sometimes a family fights; sometimes a family fights over Glenn Greenwald and Bill Maher.  That is pretty fucking silly.  Oh, well.  Mother's day isn't a real holiday anyway, so it's probably not worth fighting.  Argue Greenwald, but Maher is an utter clown.  Islam has the bad luck to be an idiot religion in an age of media saturation.  Anyone with at least half a brain understands that fundamentalist Jewish loons and fundamentalist Christian loons have shown to be just as violent as the Muslim fundie loons.   The key difference is that orthodox and born-again assholes generally don't live in the third world.  In the 21st century, many of the poorest, most victimized areas of the world happen to have Muslim majorities, so Islam is major organized religion of poverty when compared with the other two major organized religions with the same origins.

Political Song for Guatemala to Sing

The Big Stick: Guatemala

This is some wonderful news!  Efrain Rios Montt convicted of genocide and sentenced to 80 years.  I would suggest that perhaps we could scare up a little rough trade in Libya for this genocidal monster; it would be a fitting end to a life of absolute evil.  Of course, his pal Reagan should be dug up just for the fun of it so we can piss on his rotten bones as well.  Guatemala has done a great thing; if only the United States had as much courage.  The world would be a better place if we had the balls to make our leaders face their crimes.  Obama's criminal and cowardly failure to hold the Bush administration accountable stands out even when compared to the rest of his presidency.  Of course, Obama was very interested in continuing Bush and Cheney's imperial policies, but we can still dream of living in America as civilized as Guatemala and seeing Bush and Cheney and Rice and Wolfowitz and Pearle and Chalabi and the rest harshly punished for their crimes.

Watching Benghazi Unravel On The Republicans Is Still Funny

Sad, but funny.  This is the job of the big news organizations, though, to shout this shit from the rooftops.  If ABC, CBS, and NBC, along with what's left of the papers, allow Fox "News" to set the agenda and fail to expose the fun shit that Fox won't, we are doomed to become as stupid and ignorant and whacky as the Republican Congressional caucus.  I'm pretty sure Fox "News" has no idea what their bullshit story even is at the point; most of the time nobody on the air there is sure whether they are lying or just wrong at any given time.  We'll never get the answer to the only question that matters: what was Ambassador Stevens doing there?  Were the State Department and the CIA hoping to get the same cooperation from the new Libyan bosses as far as rendition and torture were concerned that they got from our former ally Gaddafi?  Most of us will probably be dead before this shit is public knowledge.

Is Jason Richwine Dumber Than Jim DeMint?

Jim DeMint, newly minted Heritage Foundation honcho, is a bugfuck crazy moron, but perhaps he managed to find an even bigger fucking reject in former Heritage Foundation "scholar" Jason Richwine.  (How many black marks does Harvard get in a year, anyway?)  Seriously, this asshole got a PhD from Harvard based on some cutting edge 18th century social science; for contending that Hispanic is a race, he should not only have been dismissed from his program at Harvard but probably should have been immediately exiled to a filthy public rest room along a highway in deepest Alabama where he could continue his "research".  Jim DeMint deserves some sort of recognition for fucking up the Heritage Foundation so much faster than anyone in America ever thought possible.  That is worth much for our political future, and the high-calorie entertainment of watching cocksuckers like Richwine twist in the wind is fucking brilliant.  The teabagger contingent is frothing over this, so with any luck we may get our jollies watching this inanity bubble for a bit longer!

Texas: It's Like A Whole Other Sad, Stupid Country

Something sure seems fucked up about some of the folks who dealt with the West explosion.  This paramedic might be a bomber or thief or whatever his own self and appears to be in the process of slow-motion explosion of his own.  Very strange.  Regardless of what really happened, a shit load of Texans are still dead, so how bout doing what we can to make sure that shit doesn't happen again?  Please.

It's Always Been Too Late

The Biggest Reason Hillary Will Never Be President: Bill

Hillary Clinton will never be president, and that is a very good thing.  The Clintons are awful people.  Bill was an awful president, and Hillary would be just as bad.  But we won't have to worry about that because Tubby will be the millstone around her neck which drowns her ambitions again.  She's not even going to run for 2016, but if the impossible happens and she does, the whole stupid thing won't last long.

KooKoo Konservative Whackjobs Of The Day: Zion's Trumpet

In the ongoing documentation of the fucking retarded and paranoid conservative guntard assholes, today we have Zion's Trumpet.  More bugfuck insanity, racism, and general ignorance from the cesspool that is American conservatism.

The Dumbest Benghazi Thing You Will Read All Week

This article from The Week is not only the dumbest piece on Benghazi you will read all week, but it is also an amazing illustration of how the puke funnel of bullshit works in Washington.

G Angel

More Friday Good News

The death penalty.  As sure a sign of rank stupidity as a McCain/Palin bumper sticker, the death penalty is finally going away and showing that there is the smallest chance of intelligence winning in the end.  It ain't much, but ya gotta take what you can get.

Lives During Wartime

Compelling and disturbing Missy Beattie piece on Counterpunch.  File under: easy listening people suck.

Al Shaprton On The Cleveland Kidnapping Story

Rev. Al has been kicking some major fucking ass on the Cleveland kidnapping story.  He was pushing back against the Charles Ramsey smears, and tonight he was broadening the conversation to missing children all over the country.  Good for Rev. Sharpton.  He is MSNBC's best and about a billion times more useful than the entire history of Fox "News".

Primeval: New World

There was an ad for Primeval: New World on Syfy; it looks like they're finally gonna show it in the States.  Too bad the thing was cancelled after only one series.

Wow, Wrath Of Khan Was Hella Cheezy

The overwhelming consensus on the intertube webs is that Wrath of Khan is FUCKING AWESOME, DUDE, but holy shit, it is really silly and cheap-looking.  Sadly, it was among the better of the Trek films, but, jesus christ.

Fast Food Friday Strike

For a little good newz on a Friday, we have the spread of the fast food strikes into the heartland.  Pretty fucking cool.  Though I'm not usually a Pollyanna sort of girl, I would love for many of our multitudinous underpaid workers of all stripes learn from the hard-working and very underpaid fast food workers.

Shout It Out

My Favorite Nun

More nuns like Megan Rice and more Americans like Michael Walli and Greg Boertje-Obed and this world would be a much nicer fucking place.  These folks will get the maximum but George W. Bush and Dick Cheney are still walking around.

Benghazi Strike Out

The Republican's shameful Benghazi shit show has been the target of mucho scorn today; Lee Papa has some good fun with it.  But no matter how badly the Repubs want to tar Hillary Clinton with this insanity, their real failure will be not illuminating the shit that Petraeus and his girlfriend and the CIA want to keep hidden.  Before Benghazi was the capital of the rebellion, it was a place where our CIA sent prisoners so that the then-friendly Libyan government could torture them for us.  So what was our ambassador doing there on the QT?  This was an American fuckup that is not Obama's or Bush's alone; it is part of the SOP for American foreign policy for generations.

Hatin' On The Gay Playa

T-bow, good; black man, bad.  What's better than some fundie assholes blowing Tebow?  Getting to hate on a black man who does butt sex!  It's a fucking lallapalooza of batshit insanity.  Those poor fuckers.  What are they gonna do when they run out of people to hate?

Bush's Benghazis

The interwebs are having a shit ton of fun today with the rundown of all the diplomatic losses during Bush's disastrous term.  It is such a cock punch to all the teabagging assholes and the asslickers at Fox "News".

Browne, Marsh, and Bono

I'm not a great admirer of Dave Marsh the critic, but I share with him the contempt of the vacuous turd that is Paul "Bono Vox" Hewson.  Harry Browne's book on Bono is on my short list, though.  Good on Marsh for spreading the word.

Virag's Movie Reviews: This Is 40 (2012)

This Is 40 is easily one of the nastiest movies I've ever seen.  The characters populating this film were ugly, stupid, mean, and hateful.  Judd Apatow is arguably the worst screen writer of his generation; nothing in this movie makes sense about an exceedingly unappealing couple with money troubles who never appear to work at all, spend insane amounts of money on the most pointless luxuries, and live in a huge house in one of the most expensive markets in the United States.  Apatow's directing of this overlong vanity stroke fest was almost as embarrassing as his casting of his shrew of a wife in the role of a purportedly very attractive 40 year old woman.  Suspension of disbelief doesn't cover that; Leslie Mann is a horrible and stupendously unfunny actress who is unattractive far beyond her looks.  I did feel bad for some things in this movie.  Paul Rudd wears a bunch of cool band t-shirts that must have been mortified when the film came out.  Graham Parker looked worn down by the awfulness of the whole exercise.  Albert Brooks and John Lithgow were the best thing in the movie, and they should have been given their own film written and directed by a decent filmmaker in which they killed and dismembered everyone else in This Is 40 in the first 10 minutes and then went on to a much better film.  People who love garbage love the shit Judd Apatow forces out.  The rest of the species deserves better than his insipid nonsense.

The Republicans' Titanic Benghazi Cock-up

The idiot Republicans' crazed, inane Benghazi obsession, hoping to gin up some damaging scandal shit for Obama in 2012--whoops!--and probably they hope Hillary next time, is really a much bigger fuckup for the GOP way larger than even the hilarious daily derision from every non-teabagger retard in America and beyond.  No, what these despicable assholes are doing is destroying anyone's chance of finding out what really happened last year.  Between Petraeus and his girlfriend and the CIA and some real nasty shit, there is an interesting, politically damaging, and possibly illegal story to be uncovered, but the Republicans are too stupid to see it.  The Ambassador was there for a reason that the State Department and the CIA sure as hell don't want to talk about; if the Republicans weren't on the one hand complete morons and on the other complete pussies, they would be willing to make some real trouble.  Of course, they're not because Republicans are scared shitless of what they might expose.

Month Of May Flies

WTF Is Going On At Fenway Tonight?

The Twins are slamming the ball around in the first two innings.  Let's hope the Sox cool off tonight, and pray for no fucking rain!  That game may never end.

Rush "Porkins" Limbaugh Flames Out?

Holy shit, it looks like Porkins has had a wicked bad year!  Those advertisers sure don't like him if more than 95% of the big, national accounts won't pay for his show.  (Hannity, too!  Heh, indeedy.)  The good folks who have been hammering Limbaugh, on the other hand, have had a great fucking year.  Constant attacks by the good guys might finally kill this disgusting, greasy scumbag.

Charles Ramsey: Still Cooler Than You

So, today, the internets' favorite hero started to get shit on by pissy little douchebags and The Smoking Gun.  Oh, well; such is the bread of an everyday life.  When it really mattered, Mr. Ramsey kept his head, did what he needed to do, and very likely saved lives.  Most of the little peckers who are slagging this guy would never have the brains or the balls to do what he did with such alacrity. 

Here's a very uncensored version of his awesome 911 call.  Don't call his phone unless you already had his number!

This Stupid Audi Commercial Will Be Less Annoying Than Abrams Trek 2

This silly Audi clip has been all over the interwebs.  Meh, but I can pretty much guarantee that this commercial will be less annoying and way more entertaining than Abrams Trek 2 or anything else with which that jerkoff Abrams has ever been associated.

Meanwhile, The Middle Ages Are Alive And Well In Europe

This Blueshirt motherfucker might get himself excommunicated if Cardinal Brady is to be believed.  As far as I'm concerned, Enda Kenny should provoke that bastard Brady into doing something showy like that in order to shake up some of those backwardass Paddies and maybe, just maybe lurch their cursed isle toward the 20th century.  The Church in Ireland has been a hobble for far too long; anything that can be done to protect women, save lives, liberalize the society, and open minds is a good fucking thing, so let's have the Cardinal do something stupid, then the Taoiseach show some balls, and finally have Ireland grow up a bit.

Everybody Loves Frakking With Dennis Prager

Dennis Prager has been a D-list assclown for a long, long time, and Lee Papa has a bit o' fun fucking with Prager's mental handicaps, this time over school breakfast programs.  Prager is fucking dipshit, and he's also a gigantic cocksucker, but for fun, read some of the comments on his article.  At the beginning, it looks like around half of the people are there just to fuck with Prager.  That's fun, cuz then the NRO idiots come out, and well, it just gets sad.  Still, kicking the stupid is always fun.

The Internets Is Free!

WWW vs. Internet vs. Facebook and the idiocy of self-oppression.  This is kind of a weird thing, because all the people who entered adolescence with MySpace and grew Facebook and Twitter into ubiquitous inanity never knew the free and formless internet and world wide web.  Way back in the dark ages when lots of folks only had AOL and never accessed anything beyond it, it was all still there.  Now, not so much.  Even if Facebook goes the way of Friendster and MySpace, there will be some other tightly controlled, radically invasive, painfully simple "social network" thing to sooth the masses.

Charles Ramsey, My Hero

Let's run this charismatic, MacDonald's-eatin' motherfucker for Congress in Ohio!  He rocks.  Charles Ramsey: a great American.

Zero Dark Assholes

Poor Kathryn Bigelow, now she's having to face the music over her shitty little fascist propaganda movie.  We should not be surprised that the CIA tried wicked hard to turn this film into a disinformation fiesta, but we should probably be pissed that it apparently was so fucking easy.

South Carolina Sucks Wicked Bad

Those dipshit assholes deserve exactly what they're gonna get with Mark Sanford.

Big Fat Chris Christie

That fat sack of shit from New Jersey went crazy with surgery to drop some tonnage.  Well, that should be final nail in the coffin for the national hopes for that Moby's Dick looking motherfucker.

Down Town

How Are The Obama Zombie People Not In Custody?

Doesn't the Secret Service fuck with these people?  I really can't see why making an Obama zombie target wouldn't get you a fun-filled, all expenses paid week-long beating and cavity search from the Secret Service.  What a fucked up world we live in. 

Just When You Thought Komen Couldn't Get More Disgusting

You would be wrong!  The bastards at Komen gave the idiot who presided over their downfall a giant fucking raise.  What a deal!  Well, I guess you should take this as a great reminder to heartily fuck Komen and anyone stupid enough to be associated with them. 

Recovery Or Not?

The World's Smartest Republican (tm) pisses all over the jobs numbers over at Counterpunch.  For good measure, Paul Craig Roberts also disses the natural gas industry over the sick, dangerous joke that hydrofracturing is in reality.  Good stuff.

Home Sweet

BBCAmerica Should Probably Not Show Tom Baker Doctor Who

Last week BBCA showed a complete Tom Baker story, Pyramids of Mars.  They should probably not do that again while Matt Smith is the Doctor.  Baker's show was cheap and silly, but it was fun without being overbearing or annoying.  (It is really obvious that Moffat is attempting to channel some of the charm of Liz Sladen's Sarah through Jenna-Louise Coleman, but it is not working that well.)  The modern Doctor Who has way more cash and time devoted to it but tries way to hard to be clever, xpecially under that hated Steven Moffat.

Political Song for The IAF to Sing

Gentle, Touching Reminder That Conservatives Are Mostly Dummies

Now, this is pretty funny, a dumb-as-a-post trust fund conservative who has spent 25 years scamming his fellow assholes.  Really, you could not invent this stuff if your life depended on it.  Thank jeebus that we have such satisfying amusement during these difficult times.

(via)

Boot Lickers On The Ground

It is really not possible to find the good guys in Syria.  We should have left light-bulb head Hafez al-Assad's idiot spawn in London in 2000 so he could continue to recommend stylish eyeglass frames instead of being forced into running a fucking country.  Right now we have the evil and stupid IDF and Fox "News" doing there best to sell Bashar al-Assad and his tattered Syria as some sort of existential threat to democracy, but not many of the usual suspects seem to be buying.  Perhaps we could end the fighting in Syria if we offer to set Assad up with a couple of Lenscrafters franchises in Utah and Wyoming in exchange for his abdication.