Satisfying Weezer Fisking

Weezer is the worst band in rock history, easily worse than even Creed.  Weezer is the vile bastard spawn of Pavement, and Matt Sharp running the fuck out of the band shows that maybe Sharp is worthy of rescue when the world comes to its senses and dissolves everything Weezer in a vat of boiling rat piss.

Ben Carson Does Keep Getting Weirder

Why is Carson doing this to himself?  Is he so fucking deluded and insane that he had no idea how fucking stupid he would look after his horseshit mountain was discovered by the wider world?  That's sick, dude.  Or maybe Carson is the victim of some x-specially slimy teabagging fuckwits led by exceptional American flamer Armstrong Williams.  Either way, Carson is quickly becoming a pathetic joke around the world.  All that's left is for some enterprising cub reporter to discover the Guatemalan midget employed by JHU who did all the surgery in place of Carson and hid under the gurney while civilians were watching.

Is Carolina For Real?

Usually, nothing in the Carolinas is really any good.  It's always kinda shitty, and you notice that after a while even if you didn't notice at first, especially when compared to real places that matter.  UNC?  Yep, shitty.  Duke?  Sure.  The entire state of South Carolina and everyone in it, including Hilton Head and Myrtle Beach?  Totally sucks ass.  That makes it seem impossible that the Panthers are for real, but maybe, for once, something from the Carolinas is not way more useless and shitty than you first thought.  That's fucked up, dude.

From Today's No Shit File: Ben Carson Is A Fucking Loon--And Tacky As Fuck, Too

Poor crazy and dumb old Ben Carson is getting skull fucked royally now, and if he were actually running for president, then his campaign would be over.  Since he's running a scam and not a campaign, he'll keep on scamming the teabagger assholes for a while yet, but everyone else is going to enjoy learning just how skeevy and tacky he really is.  Carson is way too much of an exceptional American buffoon to be taken seriously, but at least he is being a fairly entertaining clown for all of us.

Michigan State Football Got Fucked

They got lucky against their vile in-state rivals, but tonight Michigan State got boned by a bad call late in the game against Nebraska, which, surprisingly, is a state in the USA apparently. 

Upper Class Twits Guntard Inanity

Violent, unhinged guntard assholes can be upper class twits.  Let's hope exceptional America has the exceptional American wisdom to take the guns from the fuckers and the cops and be way more like Australia when it comes to guns.  And if the NRA and the guntards want to fight it out, let's see who wins. 

On the plus side, at least a couple of those folks actively trolled the usual reactionary shitheads just for fun.

Political Song for Ben Carson to Sing

Well, It Looks Like America Finally Found A Democrat Willing To Call David Vitter Out For His Whoremongering

John Bel Edwards.--not John Edwards.  Anyway, the establishment scuzzbags in both parties must be very uncomfortable over this, but finally, America gets a politician who is willing to call out a hypocrite and asshole like David Vitter, the fine, god-fearing family man who liked to shit into diapers before being punished by hookers.  Or something.  But whatever creepy, disgusting, perverted kink Vitter was paying hookers for, it sure is not something the American public have heard enough about, so kudos to John Bel Edwards for not being as big a pussy as all the Dems in Washington.  The ad is running during the big LSU football game this weekend, so this could be kinda really fucking fun!

 

Oh Goody! George Will And Bill O'Reilly Are Squaring Off In A Braindead Reactionary Fucktard Cage Match Over That Vile Dead Cocksucker Ronald Reagan

This is fun!  George Will is pissy over Reagan, and Bill O'Reilly spent a segment yelling at Will for daring to question Billo's insanity.  I was waiting for Will to bring up O'Reilly's repeated lying or Andrea Mackris or O'Reilly's divorce and child custody defeats or spousal abuse.  I wonder if Will will have the balls to keep up this fight--he has a real chance to take O'Reilly down over this, as O'Reilly could barely deal with him on his own prerecorded show.  George Will looked really pissed at O'Reilly for O'Reilly preening masturbation of Reagan's rotting skull, so this might be the start of something really fun for all exceptional Americans.  If this thing breaks out into actual hostilities anywhere other than O'Reilly's safe space on his show, Billo's fucked.  Will really got to O'Reilly, and O'Reilly would never be able to handle himself live.

So, Now Everybody Knows Ben Carson Is A Gigantic Fucking Liar And Full-On Ocean-Going Lunatic

What took so fucking long?  It was apparent from the start that Carson was so full of shit and so addle-headed that he could never be trusted with even being a dog-catcher.  At least now, the rest of the world sees exactly what a fucking moron Carson is and always has been.  I can't wait till they find that Guatemalan midget who did all of Carson's purported surgeries for all those years!  Johns Fucking Hopkins must be pretty fucking proud about now.

What's the official Johns Hopkins positions on pyramids as granaries?  Or quack dietary supplements claiming to cure cancer (but not stupidity!)?  Hey indeedy.

Obama's Epic Trolling Of The Republicans Over The Keystone XL Pipeline Was Really Quite Wonderful

The Republicans and Koch-suckers and teabaggers are apoplectic--and I'm sure Obama would have approved the pipeline had it been politically expedient--but the way the President slammed those assholes after seven fucking years was beautifully entertaining.  It doesn't hurt that oil prices are way down these days, but the reactionary fuckbrains are not having any logic or sanity, so Obama took the opportunity to rub their faces in it while the whole world watched.  Loverly!

Damn, Those Cowboys And Greg Hardy Are Great Folks!

First class! Tip top! Good people!  America's Team!  Exceptional Americans!  We should be so proud.  When can we take the entire NFL and burn it to the ground?

Is Hateful Eight Gonna Be Way Huge Thanks To Idiot Cops And Fox "News" Assholes?

The trailer looks good.  That's no a guarantee or anything, but if the flick's decent and those fucking reactionary morons keep up all the free publicity, Hateful Eight could be yuge!

Pro Tip: There Is No Democracy In America Anymore

Not even as much as there used to be, which was not much.  The Kentucky shit show could simply be that Jack Conway is a fucking loser, but it might not.  And the best part is that there is no way to check.  The voting machines without physical ballots are a complete joke, and the joke's on you.  This is not an accident.  And not the way a democracy or representative republic or any sort of elected government should work.  Any asshole out there who gave a flying fuck about integrity or honesty would demand that their government maintain a procedure for double checking elections, especially in cases where something is clearly fucked up, Kentucky, Ohio, Florida, and on and on and on.  But of course, no one does because no one cares.  Fuck yeah American exceptionalism!

Nifty Signal Boost Of Beat Happening And K Records By The AV Club

Good stuff.  Beat Happening is one of those things that I like, so I am always in favor of getting out the happy message of Beat Happening and the K Records bands and music.  Lots of fun there and exactly the sort of thing that will make your life better.  Try it!

Teabagger Patriot Foods Needs A Much Rougher Fisking

Gross? Sure? Marketed toward teabagging guntard assholes? Yep.  But there's so much more funfetti to be mined from this crazy shit, from the Patriot Food companies, to the racist guntard paranoia, to the rancid, puss-bloated STUPID!, really the fisking must be better than this one.  Fisk away, fiskers!

Shaggin' Mem-O-Reez

At Least Quentin Tarantino Had The Good Sense To NOT Apologize

More people with a forum should have as much brains and balls.  The hard-right loons and fascist assholes and pussy cops and Fox "News" teabagging dipshits turned themselves inside out trying to get Quentin Tarantino to back down, but he was an exceptional American hero and refused to be bullied.  Holy shit!  Why aren't more assholes like that?  Why can't we get even some of our elected leaders to show as much basic human decency as Quentin Fucking Tarantino?  I have never thought Tarantino was any great genius--he always seemed like an average movie geek who made movies for average movie geeks, but damn, he's got more balls and more brains than many exceptional Americans.

Ahmed Chalabi Died 70 Years Too Late

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Ash Vs. Evil Dead Was Pretty Fun

I watched the first ep for free and was really happy with it.  The thing was funny and lightweight but not boring.  I guess I have a high tolerance for fake blood and comical decapitations, but I didn't find it especially gory or violent.  Really, fun is the perfect description.  It looked like they had fun making it, Bruce Campbell seemed really into it, and the audience was invited to share.  Nothing life-changing or cutting edge, but solid tee vee entertainment.