Wednesday, October 31, 2018

Jacob Wohl's Mom Is Completely Motherfucking Sick Of All This Fucking Winning

Sad, frail, little beta cuck weirdo Jacob Wohl is indeed sick of so much winning.  No doubt about it.  But his mother, holy shit that fucking cunt must be pissed.  First she apparently let that ugly creep David Wohl get all up in her cooch one time so that later she was forced to shit out a greasy, pizza-faced retard and name it Jacob, and now she has to put up with everybody laughing at her about it.  Add to that the fact that her idiot son is getting dragged even more viciously now because of the absurdly inept Surefire Intelligence fuck up, and well, I'm sure that bitch deserves all of it.  Jacob Wohl's mom should be the Republican Mother of the Year way before those whores Melania or Ivana.  Thanks, Trump!

Not Breaking News: Scott Adams Is Really Fucking Stupid

Scott Adams is a gods-damned dimwit.  If not for that dumb gay cartoon of his, Adams would be spending his dotage sucking dick in an alley in Cheyenne, Wyoming for meth money.  Apparently this burbling idiocy is from the day his cum-burping road-whore "model" "girlfriend" broke up with him on Twitter.  Heh, indeedy.  Thanks, Trump!


Sunday, October 28, 2018

Brazil Is Fucked

The majority of Brazilians voted for their own murder at the hands of an insane racist fascist.  Brilliant.  Brazil will collapse back into bloody chaos and right-wing lunacy and the cancer of reactionary revanchism will spread until most of South America turns into Somalia.  No power on the planet will be strong enough to save Brazilian and South American democracy from the fascists now.

Texan Anthem


Saturday, October 27, 2018

Friday, October 26, 2018

MAGABomber Cesar Sayoc, Like Every Terrorist, Is A Beautiful, Brave, Exceptional American Rock-Ribbed Racist Reactionary Trumptard Shithead

AKA, a baggatron cocksucker.  Little Cesar Sayoc is exactly the sort of great American Donald Trump and Sean Hannity and Ted Nugent need to help save freedom and guns from the liberal homosexual communist Democrat faggots.  And blacks.  Like the Negro Andrew Gillum.  With Little Cesar leading the way, Trump will win in 2018 and 2020!  BOOM!  Thanks, Trump.

Sweet ride, dude.


Twits Don't Know A Gods-Damned Thing

About anything.  These are amongst the most wealthy and privileged humans in history, yet they are fucking worthless.  They understand nothing.  It's like they've never been anywhere, never had an original thought, never done anything of value, never lived.  They're also tedious and shallow.  Sadly, this truly is America.  Thanks, Trump.

Thursday, October 25, 2018

Hey Zoos


Megyn Kelly Seems Nice

And not at all like a screeching racist cuntbag.  Not. At. All.  All we can do as beautiful, brave, exceptional American patriots, like Megyn herself, is pray to jesus fucking christ on brand new rollerskates that all the blah people and other villains are properly destroyed for the crime of not being white like Santa Claus and jesus and Mark Fuhrman.  And Megyn.  That's all Megyn wants.  That's all we want.  Amen.  Thanks, Trump.

Curt Schilling Is The Most Hated Baggatron Cocksucker In America

Even fuckfaces like the Red Sox don't like him.  Jesus fucking christ on a piepald pony, Schilling has to be the biggest, most beautiful, bravest exceptional American patriot since Eric Trump.  MMAAAGGGGAAAAA!  Thanks, Trump.

Sunday, October 21, 2018

Neneh Cherry Interview From The Gossip Kids

Neneh Cherry rocks, and this is a pretty good interview with her new record coming out.  Somebody needs to make the Neneh Cherry biopic.  Even the music career biopic would be epic with all the diverse people with whom she's worked in the past 30+ years.  30!  Years!

Ted Cruz For Iowa

Nobody likes Ted Cruz, and that's why Beto has a chance, even in the teabagger shithole that is Texas.


Saturday, October 20, 2018

R U Xistential


Conservatives Lie About Everything All The Time And The Rich Do Not Pay All The Taxes

The American flat tax.  Which fucking sucks.  If we return to a truly progressive taxation system, our society would have no problem with providing all the social goods that the richest nation in the history of the universe should have.  But until we do that, we will be hella fucked.  Conservative continually attempt to obfuscate when considering the federal income tax, but when all the regressive local taxes and other taxes such as fees and penalties are considered, the lowest income earners are viciously over-taxed.  And conservatives of every stripe will lie and lie and lie about everything until every mental-defective baggatron cocksucker on the planet believes the rich are overtaxed. 

Friday, October 19, 2018

Winter Is Coming, Or Our Greatest Anthem


African Elephants Charging Hunters Is The Best Political News Of This Or Any Century

Let us pray to jesus fucking christ on a moped who loves us so fuckng much that African elephants invent their versions of the shotgun and the flamethrower over the weekend and decide to get some beautiful bloody retribution.  Maybe the tide is turning and the good guys and good elephants will start fighting back against the bad guys and vile fascist GOP elephants.  Please, jesus?  Thanks, Trump!

Thursday, October 18, 2018

Music 4 The Left


This Is The Most Gloriously Unhinged Lunacy Any Baggatron Cocksucker Could Ever Come Up With

Jesus motherfucking Chris Christie on a beetus scooter, NOW WE KNOW WHY QANON HAS GONE SILENT!  It's because "patriots" are mobilizing to save MBS.  Can you imagine a bunch of fat, toothless, guntard teabagging "patriots" showing up somewhere to rescue a Saudi crown prince?  That would be comedy gold.  Please, Jeebus, make that happen.  The deep state and the Democratic Party are mobilizing to destroy MBS and Trump, but the "patriots" will prevail!  Luckily for the rest of us, the General will bring the nunchucks.

Wednesday, October 17, 2018

Forced Space


Nick Martin Is Clearly The Dumbest Gossip Kid

Nick Martin is standing proud for his stupid people: Gossip Kids and Indians.  The Gossip Kids, not just the pros, but all the deputies, too, are all bent because they're dumb and think Elizabeth Warren is wrong.  That's about what you'd expect from people with all the political acumen of a bag of Fritos.  Warren, if she's smart, will ignore all these candyasses and continue to hit Trump with this racist Pocahontas shit.  For the idiot Nick Martins out there: SHE'S NOT CLAIMING TO BE A WOO WOO INDIAN.  SHE'S NOT TRYING TO JOIN A TRIBE.  SHE'S SAYING HER FAMILY HISTORY HAS INDIAN BLOOD IN IT AND THAT THEY FACED DISCRIMINATION FROM SELF-DESCRIBED WHITE PEOPLE BECAUSE OF IT, AND TRUMP IS A RACIST COCKBAG FOR SAYING THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH BEING A NATIVE AMERICAN, YOU FUCKING RETARD.  NOW GO HAVE 'EM HEAPING BIG DRINK OF FIRE WATER AND SHUT THE FUCK UP.

The natives themselves are fucking this up because, well, of course they are.  Had they been smart about this shit, they would have acknowledged Trump's ugly racist bullshit and joined with Warren to push back against said racism.  This would have been a golden opportunity to bring up the fact that, as the native people were already here when the Europeans arrived, so many, many people in the Americas have the blood of the original inhabitants in them.  Stepping up and demanding a rightful piece of the USA now, in the 21st century, despite 400 years of racist and genocidal policies, would have dovetailed nicely with this shit, but protecting his healthy chunk the casino money is more important to Chuck Hoskin than the future of any native person in America.  After establishing the wrongness of Trump's racism and the correctness of Warren's family story, then, and only then, could the native leaders made their case for personal family stories versus tribal identity and the importance of identity to native people and all that fun stuff.  But no, they had to be history's losers again. 

It's nice that dumb motherfuckers like Nick Martin and the dipshit gossip kids can be all sad about this nonsense, but I hope to hell that Warren continues to hammer Trump with this, demand the million dollars for charity, and make Trump's and his follower's casual racism as toxic as it can be for the rest of the electorate.  In that sense, Warren will be doing Chuck Hoskin and Nick Martin a great service, even if they're too stupid and short-sighted to deserve any of it.

This is why the Dems lose and the psychotic conservatives in the GOP win.  We can watch idiot conservative christians suck Trump's dick for political gain, but Nick Martin and his tribesmen are gonna have a good cry over Elizabeth Warren because they are fucking losers.  The only upside is that natives are the one minority group with less power in the Demcoratic Party than gossip kids.  Thanks, Custer!

Tuesday, October 16, 2018

America, Never Forget Donald Trump Has A Tiny, Comically Misshapen Penis

Stormy Daniels knows first hand that Trump's dick is extra small and weird looking.  America should never, ever forget this wonderfully embarrassing first-hand information about Trump's pathetic little pecker.  Thanks, Trump!

Teabagging Fuckface, Chinless Shitbag, And World's Worst Baby Daddy Jason Miller Goes To Court To Sue The Gossip Kids

All because A.J. Delgado was too fucking dumb to get an abortion! Brilliant!  Jason Miller can take his little rat eyes and mushy, chinless scrotum face and sue anybody he wants, even the Gossip Kids, but he's gonna lose.  Meanwhile, I'm sure A.J. Delgado and Miller's stupid bitch wife enjoy fighting over the little bastard spawn.  The GOP sure loves dem fambly values.  Thanks, Trump!

Monday, October 15, 2018

Now You Don't Have To Fast Forward 35 Seconds To Get To The Good Stuff

Not Breaking News: Elizabeth Warren Is Running For President

Warren's got a story and a message, and she's fixin' to show the Dems that she will confront Trump's bullshit head-on and slice his nuts off, too, for fun.  Warren is going to destroy Trump over this stuff.  And calling out Trump as a racist is terribly effective attack with any voters who are not GOP, so this shit is scaring Fox "News" to death tonight.  Fun times.  I hope to hell the Warren folks have some campaign surrogates who can talk up the promise to pay a million dollars and another set of surrogates ready to belittle Trump for not having enough money to write a million dollar check.  This should be lots of fun if Elizabeth Warren is up for it, and it appears she is.


Sunday, October 14, 2018

Saturday, October 13, 2018

Gods' Tale


Lou Barlow, This Year, With Bonus Bob Fay Content From Last Year, Because Firing The Drummer Is Always A Fucking Mistake

Another Lou Barlow interview, with the standard 2010s-vintage contented Lou, settled into his upper-middle class dotage thanks to his weirdo nemesis J. Mascis.  And, because only cowards fire the drummer because some douche tells them to, bonus Bob Fay content from 2017.  Your welcome.

What's Eric Gaffney doin' these days?

Kyrsten Sinema Used To Be Decent

But now she's a Joe Manchin.  This is not surprising, but the old Kyrsten Sinema was a good person who scared the shit out of teabagging bigots.  The current version is a neoliberal who loves loves loves the pay and the bennies of an establishment sinecure.  Conservative shitbags in elected office are no big deal, but decent leftists are something precious, and useful.  Sadly, Sinema's no longer a big deal.

Teabagging Fuckface Brian Kemp Knows He Has To Cheat To Win

Is Cheating Brian Kemp more Lance Armstrong cheating to win or Donald Trump cheating to win?  Either way, Georgia can do the right thing and flush this piece of shit Kemp right into the cesspool of history where he belongs!  Thanks, Trump!

Punch Nazis, Abolish ICE

Time to eliminate our American Schutzstaffel.  These nasty ICE motherfuckers need to be put down and their organization obliterated.  They are not keeping anyone safe, but they're doing a great job of promulgating unaccountable police violence as a bigger and bigger part of everyday life for all Americans.  Any candidate for any office at any level who is not in favor of abolishing ICE should not receive any votes.  Fuck all right wing Nazi cocksuckers.  Time to stand for freedom.  Not that insane and stupid libertarian freedom, but real freedom.  If not now, when?  Abolish ICE.

Not Breaking News: Malaria Trump Is A Repellent Piece Of Inhuman Filth

This inane, shovel-faced cunt Melania Trump was always fucking vile, and no one with more than one functioning brain cell could have ever believed otherwise.  The former Melania Knauss Melanija Knavs was a comically pathetic loser herself, a gold-digging whore after she was a failed model and failed pornographic model, and she somehow managed to stomach allowing the grotesque and tiny-dicked, hard-up, beta cuck, fake millionaire tv host Donald Trump to fuck her enough times that he was actually fooled into marrying her before she got deported.  But there's not enough cut-rate, strip-mall plastic surgery in the world to cure that mutt-faced illegal immigrant.  Thanks, Trump!

Richard Dale Turnquist Might Be The Dumbest Motherfucker On The Planet

I mean, he calls himself a Libertarian, so you know he's dumb as a rock, but Richard Turnquist is so much more than a fatuous teabagger.  Oh, wait, no, he's not!  At all.  He's just another of those Dunning-Kruger corn cob assholes too stupid to know just how fucking dumb he is.  Thanks, Trump!

Max Boot Is A Yuge Pussy

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The Proud Boys Are Fabulous Closet Cases

Sure, the Proud Boys are creepy, frail, weird, little, sad, racist, revanchist losers, but you cannot discount the obvious appeal for many/most of them of finally getting some of the validation from other men that these fools crave.  Let's face it, the Proud Boys are not looking to attract the girls.  They're fags, even if some of them can't admit it.  And in a just world, nobody would care, and they would be free to live out all their call me by my name fantasies, but in the nasty, bigoted, racist world of the Proud Boys, their hidden desires for throbbing, veiny man meat would be a very big, hard problem.  That's what we call funny.  Thanks, Trump!

Friday, October 12, 2018

Political Song for Bette Spencer to Sing


How Stupid Do You Feel Tonight Spending 70k A Year To Send Your Kid To Choate

The hits just keep on coming.  How many more sex abuse reports does Choate have in its future?  When does someone remember Steve Farrell is still there?  Choate is praying to jesus fucking christ on a popsicle stick that somebody at Deerfield or Exeter touches a child out in the open live on Fox "News" this weekend, just in time for the new week's news cycle.  Or maybe St. Paul's can bring Owen Labrie back as a resident scholar for some good old-fashioned elitist funfetti. 

Senator Elizabeth Warren Is Going To Be Loads Of Fun Running For President

Warren made the racist asshole four-star general eat shit, and we can expect she'll do more of the same during her General Sherman-like march through the GOP in 2020.  The Republicans are going to be very sorry they fucked with her.  Thanks, Trump!

Now more than ever.

Who Funds The Federalist? Maybe Saudi Arabia Funds The Federalist

The interwebs finest detectives may have cracked the case.  Who funds The Federalist?  Maybe it is Saudi Arabia.  Perhaps Saudi Arabia funds The Federalist.  Perhaps Ben Domenech-McCain knows whether Saudi Arabia funds The Federalist.  It sure would be fun to know who funds The Federalist.

Michelle Obama Has Been Slimed With The Most Vile Lies, But She Is Pretty Horrible

Michelle Obama is a garbage person.  And apparently she always was.  Remember Obama was an unremarkable middle-management drone at a hospital management company of all places, despite her Harvard Law degree and undergrad at Princeton, until her husband got elected to national office, and suddenly she got a bigtime promotion at twice the pay!  Amazing how that works.  We should probably learn something from that, and now with this George W. "Retardboy" Bush shit, she's showing she's pretty fucking awful in her own right, having learned nothing of any import from her ascent into a fabulously wealthy international celebrity.  Clearly nothing has changed.  Both Obamas were pretty terrible people.  Thanks, Trump!

Speeding Motor Cycle

Before Vernon Felton Hit The Specialized Lottery, He Wrote Some Dumb Shit

Yes, it was four and one-half years ago, but VU content!  In 2014!  Jesus.  The Velvet Underground is a touchstone for pop culture relevant hipness in the second decade of the 21st century.  Hack hack hack.  Whatevs.  But Felton really steps in it over the purported innovation of Gary Fisher's genitals geometry, and while he does mention that Fisher did not actually come up with that idea, Felton fails to use the words "Arrow Racing" or "Eastern Woods Research" or "Nevil Devil".  That's fucking bullshit.  Felton was a purported professional bicycle magazine writer and editor, but he didn't know any of that?  Really?  Fucking great! 

Annoying Yet Candid Look Into America, Poverty, Privilege, And The Need For Universal Healthcare

Everyone should talk incessantly about how much money they make or don't make.  Keeping that shit on the down-low only benefits the ruling class.  Anywho...


Thursday, October 11, 2018

Well-Executed Long-Form Gossip Kids Piece Describing Just How Fucking Awful North Carolina Is

Spoiler alert: North Carolina was always a shithole.  Sure, they had their University and their Duke and their NC State, but North Carolina's soul was a blackened, revanchist husk of purely evil ignorance.  The entire South is a cancer on the Republic.  When the Dems were the racist establishment in the South, the people were lock-stepped Dems, and when the Dems embraced the slightest bit of racial tolerance, the South switched over to the vile racist GOP and became the most rock-ribbed fucking bastards the world had ever seen.  Lincoln's first sin was fighting to keep the traitors in the Union and his second sin was not slaughtering the entirety of the traitorous white filth in the old Confederacy once the war was over.

Twits V Twits Dawn Of Stupid

Something something something twits.  I guess if you're gonna buy shit second hand, you should probably make sure you know what you're gettin'.  Or something.

Wednesday, October 10, 2018

Know Waiting


On The Che Guevara Highway

Indeed.  True revolutionaries are rare and valuable.

Look To The Gossip Kids For The Top Fat Bear Content

That is one fat fucking bear. Positively Chris Christiean. Round. Bulbous. Porky.  But unlike Chris "Moby's Dick" Christie, the bear has an excuse.

Nikki Haley Is Suddenly So Very Fucking Sick Of All The Winning! MAGA!!

Something is fucked up about crazy-eyed Nikki Haley and her very sudden, very politically awkward resignation.  Sure, it could be that she owes a metric fuckton of money to Greasy Enzo the local legbreaker, but if not, then she is a woman in an outright panic about something else.  Neither Pompeo nor Bolton knew this shit was coming, so it's clear the orange shitgibbon didn't have any fucking idea.  Politically this is a nightmare for the GOP--anyone with any sense would have told Haley to wait five weeks to announce this--and it looks just as bad for Haley herself because now it's clear she's got a yuge problem somewhere.  (One might even venture that perhaps Haley had some problem with Trump and Bart O'Kavanaugh, but Haley is way too gross of a fucking reactionary shitheel to care about a drunken, rapey liar being Trump's new best friend.)  Winning!  Bigly!!  Thanks, Trump.

Tuesday, October 9, 2018

Out Side Its America


Pro Tip: Don't Get Your Mountain Bike Knowledge From A Forbes Magazine Wanker

I can guarantee that this poser douchebag Rob Reed only rode that Evil bike around in the parking lot, but sure he's a tough adventure guy who knows so fucking much and names the bike of the decade, a bike from a company which was started by a marketing dickhead and the fraud who branded himself as a suspension expert by fiddling around with existing rear mountain bike shock designs and by figuring out how to rip off the VPP patents without getting sued!  Rider owned indeed.  Somehow plenty of other suspension platforms worked well, too, without anyone pretending they were some genius who invented something they didn't.  Marketing!  Brilliant!  But bullshit pays well.  Don't get your bike opinions from fabulous Forbes magazine.

Careerist Hacks Gotta Hack

But Heather Parton should be ashamed of pushing dimwit thirsty pissboy Josh Marshall's stuff.  Marshall is a a fucking stooge and centrist moron who never had an original thought in his life.  I get that hacks gotta hack and guzzling down the piss from your pissbucket is a proven way to get ahead in the village, but jesus.  On the other hand, if you want incisive soft and useless at best and astoundingly wrong at worst analysis from yet another neoliberal fuckwad desperately working overtime to ingratiate him or herself with idiots in the establishment village, well, enjoy.

The Yankees Are The Susan Sarandons Of Baseball

In America, only bad things happen, and the Yankees will not defend against the darkness.  Sad.

Monday, October 8, 2018

Wax Bite


Yowza, That Pole Machine Bike Is One Ugly Motherfucker

Glued and bolted aluminium? Where have I heard that before? It sounds very dumb.  Bad ideas never die!  But at least it's heinously ugly!  And it's really fucking expensive.  This is a fucking abortion.  It's almost as big a ripoff as and almost as dumb as the Yeti switch infinity crap.  And it's got 700C wheels.  There are obese whales with more grace than this boondoggle. 


Susan Collins Always Was Every Bit As Stupid As Donald Trump Or Sean Hannity

She may have been a favorite of the Dems in Washington, but Susan Collins was always a sad little numbskull.  She is either too stupid to understand what kind of drunken rapey shitbag Brett Kavanaugh is, or she is a pathetic liar.  Why not both?  Collins also says she does not belief an addle-headed religious fundamentalist nutjob and life-long bowel movement conservative like Bart O'Kavanaugh would support overturning Roe v. Wade, so Collins is probably too stupid for even Maine Republicans.

Remember When We All Prayed To Jesus Frakking Christ That This Weirdo Kraut Jan Ullrich Would Vanquish Lance Armstrong

Fun times.  But Ullrich was never up to the task, so the world had to suffer through a decade as Lance Armstrong and his mindless phalanx of sycophants bleated on and on and on.  Cheat to win!  Thanks, Hitler Stalin!

Sunday, October 7, 2018

No Or Yes




The Roberts Court In Action


Looks Like There Will Be A Runoff In Brazil, But They're Fucked

With a capital F Fucked.  That psycho fascist bastard Jair Bolsonaro, allied with the fucking lunatic Christian right and the oligarchs, will sink Brazilian democracy if he is elected to the presidency in Brazil.  Brazilian democracy is young and fragile and is about to be obliterated by a hard-right racist shitbag aligned with the insane reactionary economic criminality of the Chicago Boys.  Brazil's decent into the madness of unbridled fascism, socially and economically, will have dire consequences for the rest of the Americas, too.  Brilliant!

The Sporty Gossip Kids With The Kudos For Gary Sanchez

Yankees, Si.  Red Sox, No.

David Price Is The Ultimate Expression Of Boston Red Sox Beautiful Exceptional Patriotism

David Price is the man Boston needs! The man America needs!  Thank all the fucking gods in all the hells in the universe that David Price is the only man on Earth so fucking sick of so much fucking winning!  Thanks, Trump!

Saturday, October 6, 2018

Dayz


Let's Watch 'The Man In The High Castle' Turn Into 'Charlie Jade'

Charlie Jade had a good bit of buzz, but the show never found an American audience, so, well, that was that.  But you know sure as shit that the folks making the PKD show for Amazon have seen every second of that show.  CJ was not completely original--and was certainly aided by the exotic "Cape City" location--but it had a whole bunch of weird, fun shit going on, along with a very interesting take on native people fighting to protect their homes being considered terrorists by a technocratic empire.  Heh, indeedy. 

Welcome To Hell, John Roberts, You Fetid Reactionary Piece Of Dog Shit

This is the kind of screeching insanity John Roberts will be known for now.  Thanks, Miss Lindsey.  Being Chief Justice probably feels pretty shitty this evening.  Spoiler warning: it will never get any better.  Miss Lindsey and every other baggatron cocksucker are never going away, and the Dems are fixing to make the Roberts Court an object lesson in absurdity and failure.  Thanks, Trump.

At Least One Not-At-All-Bugfuck-Crazy Baggatron Cockscucker Knows The Truth About Bart O'Kavanaugh

Science!  Thank every motherfucking god that at least one beautiful brave exceptional American patriot sees the truth!

Crackin' Van


Friday, October 5, 2018

When The Red Sox Beat The Yankees, America Loses

Red states, blue states, baggatron cocksuckers, wonderful and creative leftists, everyone loses when the Red Sox win.  The Red Sox are an ass cancer on humanity.  Now the future of freedom and democracy everywhere depends on the continued titanic suckitude of ginormous chump David Price.

The Best News In A Long Time: Jason Van Dyke Convicted Of The Murder Of Laquan McDonald

In fucking Chicago!  A cop convicted of murder!  This is great news, easily the best news you will get this week or most weeks, it seems.  Van Dyke and the police were held accountable for the murder of a 17 year old, and that so rarely happens in America.  For once the bad guys lose.

Trump Is Correct About The Existential Weakness Of The Dems As Displayed By Their Lack Of Support For Al Franken

Franken may or may not have been guilty of something or other, but the Dems failed bigly with their treatment of Franken while the GOP acted from a position of strength over Kavanaugh.  The Dems lost because they let Roger Stone ratfuck them over Franken, and the GOP will win with Kavanaugh if the Dems can't make them pay.  And we know the Dems aren't up to it, so the Dems lose and the GOP wins every fucking time.

Dems, You Will Have No Majority As Long As Joe Manchin Is In Your Party

Heidi Heitkamp can be counted on to be a Democrat when it counts, but Joe Manchin simply cannot.  Manchin is another Joe Lieberman, and the first job of the Democratic Party should be to drive Joe Manchin out of it if they do not get control of the Senate in November.  If Manchin is the 51st Democrat next year, they will be forced to put up with his vile reactionary posturing for the moment, but as soon as he is the 52nd or 49th Dem in the Senate, they should drive him out of the party.  Let him join the GOP and fuck up everything for them with his idiotic posturing.

Not Breaking News: Ed Morrissey Is A Baggatron Cocksucker, So Who Gives A Fuck What He Thinks About Anything

Morrissey is a teabagging fuckstick and an utter moron.  It's about time we start to admit what these reactionary retards really are.

Hey Dems, Susan Collins Is No Better Or Worse Than Trump--Don't You Feel Stupid About Never Challenging Her Now?

Have Dems learned their lesson on Collins?  What happened to a 50-state, every district, every race priority?  Obama killed that instead of building on it, and the Dems left Collins alone and unchallenged for 20 years.  How do those fucking nimrods feel about that now?

Well, Making J. Edgar Hoover A Gloriously Rabid Nazi In Episode One Of The New Season Of 'Man In The High Castle' Was Subtle

Jesus fucking christ, it was great, but maybe having that demented closet-case and real-life fascist FBI chief J. Edgar Hoover as a proud, prancing Nazi in your TV show about fictional American Nazis is a little too on the nose.  But it was fun, so I guess we should just laugh because we know Hoover surely would have ecstatically wallowed in a Nazi-controlled America after a German victory in the 1940s.  I'm sure any teabaggers watching completely missed all of that Hoover shit because they were too busy sloppily yanking their tiny, Trumpian wieners and screaming "Heil Hitler" every five seconds.

Who Wrote This Creepy, Risible Op-Ed For Bart O'Kavanaugh In The Journal?

This fucking thing is a joke, but not the funny kind.  That shit was junkie-John-Fund-ghost-writing-a-new-Limbaugh-book crazy.  Clearly there are not enough votes yet to get him confirmed.  So who wrote it?  Well-known abusive drunk Mark Judge is a published author, AND he has a wingnut welfare sinecure, so maybe it was him!  Perhaps Miss Lindsey Graham's chief of staff Richard Perry shot some primo smack into his eyeballs and banged this out while he was still bleeding all over the page.  Evidence says yes.  Or did the Trump boys yank on some fresh Huggies pull-ups, grab their best crayons, and stop drooling long enough to help out their best drinking buddy Bart with a little letter to Uncle Rupert's most pathetic paper?  Is it really incoherent enough to be Uday and Qusay?  I would expect more misspellings, but they have computers and shit at the White House, so...who knows.  On the other hand, is it possible that Bart wrote some or all of it himself?  It was complete and utter horseshit, so that sounds like Kavanaugh.  It was completely divorced from reality, so if he wrote it, he was probably drunk as usual.  Maybe it was Bart.  And the whole bullshit rant was whiny and grovelling, and that sounds just like an entitled, mediocre GOP failson blubbering when he doesn't get his way.  Kavanaugh is an entitled, mediocre GOP failson and sad little snowflake...

Once Bart O'Kavanaugh Parks His Greasy, Rapey, Lying Ass On His Court, Chief Justice John Roberts Will Be One Motherfucker Sick To Death Of All The Winning

Roberts, who is a loathsome reactionary tool and fatuous narcissist, is about to be really fucking sick of so much motherfucking winning.  Kavanaugh will pollute the reputation of Chief Justice John Roberts and the John Roberts Court for the next 50,000 years.  Even though Bart will be forced to sit there silently like a stooge just as Clarence "Uncle" Thomas is for fear of being openly ridiculed while the SCOTUS is in session, Kavanaugh's perjury and assaults and drunken bullying will taint every action of the court for as long as Kavaugh lives.  John Roberts is ruined.  Chief Justice John Roberts is about to become one of history's great laughingstocks.  His reputation and legacy destroyed by a feckless orange shitgibbon.  Couldn't happen to a nicer fuckbag.  Thanks, Trump!

Glenn Greenwald Gets It, Atmo

Greenwald is losing his shit, rightly, because Brazil is about to implode, but he still has time to drag the FBI on Twitter.  Heh, indeedy. 

John Paul Stevens Is Sick Of All The Winning With Trump!

Even a retired court dude doesn't want that drunken shitbag Bart O'Kavanaugh in the club!  Nobody wants to be anywhere near this guy.  He's boiling, toxic diarrhea being poured over the entire GOP forever and ever.  We've officially reached the place where Kavanaugh on the court is greater benefit to the Democratic Party than Kavanugh being defeated or withdrawing.  Thanks, Trump!

Baggatron Cocksucker Senator Steve Daines Is Suddenly Very Sick Of All This Motherfucking Winning

That Steve Daines is one sketchy little motherfucker, and no matter what he's saying tonight, he wants to get the fuck outa town before the Kavanaugh vote.  He's so full of shit that he can't wait to vote him in.  He'd really like this to go either way before he has to be the deciding vote.  What a fucking pussy.  Typical GOP coward.  Thanks, Trump!

Patriots Games Are Only Fun When They Lose

If the Patsies win, the good guys lose.  I'm sure Bart O'Kavanaugh is a yuge Patriots fan.  Fucker.

Thursday, October 4, 2018

Outside Magazine And Crack-O-Matic Carbon Fiber Bicycles

You don't say.  Really.  Okay.

What maybe we should be asking is whether carbon bikes that have been raced on the road or raced or ridden hard off road should never be purchased used.  Steel, ti, and for the most part aluminium bikes can be judged and inspected if you're thinking about a used one, but perhaps plastic carbon bikes are only things to be bought new.  The very short frame warranties for the original owner on carbon bikes from most bike companies versus the ubiquity of lifetime warranties on steel, titanium and aluminium frames would seem to be well worth considering.  Can you imagine buying a used carbon road bike which had been raced hard for the past two seasons?  Or a carbon Process 153 or carbon Slayer or carbon Patrol ridden in parks and on the roughest trails for an entire year or two?  Me neither.

Renate Schroeder Was Abused By Brett Kavanaugh And The Rest Of Those Georgetown Prep Scumbags, Too

Renate Schroeder Dolphin would probably like us all to forget this shit, but she didn't do anything wrong.  Nobody forget that Justice Bart was a rapey, drunken bully and utter fucking liar and coward his whole fucking life.  He was an entitled, mediocre white guy who got wet and sticky when he found people he could abuse.  Unfortunately, Ms. Dolphin knows that all too well.

After This Kavanaugh Fiasco, Michael Avenatti Will Never Be The Dems Choice For President

Sad.  I understand his client is more than a political prop, but if Avenatti could have destroyed Kavanaugh without harming his client, he woulda made his bones with plenty of Dems.  No longer, though.  Bart O'Kavanaugh will be on the court, and Michael Avenatti will have to be satisfied with Trump's scabrous orange scalp.

America Will Never Run Out Of Utterly Vile Teabagging Cretins Like James Greuber

Surely this fucking shitheel is a finalist for baggatron cocksucker of the day, every day.  Every Republican is the scum of the earth.

Washington Post And Bloomberg Are Reporting Trump Blocked The FBI From Interviewing Witnesses Against Kavanaugh

This was the sham the Dems should have known was coming, but will they act?  This is not a surprise: Trump lied about the scope of the FBI investigation.  Duh.  The GOP could never risk Kavanaugh talking to the FBI where he would lie and possibly be indicted for the crime of lying to the FBI.  They also couldn't risk having any of Ford's or Ramirez's corroborating witnesses interviewed on the record.  But the Dems should have known this!  And they had six days to mount a concerted campaign against Trump and Kavanaugh but failed to do so.  Now, the baggatron cocksuckers like Flake, Collins, and Murkowski have been given cover to vote for the rapey perjurer.  Only Heitkamp stands with honor.

Holy Shit, Heidi Heitkamp Wants To Win!

Heidi Heitkamp has decided she wants to win next month if at all possible.  And she's a Dem!  Weird.  She's been behind in the most recent polls, but Heitkamp knows this Kavanaugh debacle is a chance to smear her baggatron cocksucker opponent in the most rancid shit imaginable.  I hope to christ that the national Dems will be giving her race every possible support now, money and otherwise.  She's teaching other Dems how to win.  Good for Senator Heitkamp.

Another Upside To Installing Rapey Liar Brett Kavanaugh: The Further Debasement Of The Court

Once Bart O'Kavanaugh becomes the next Uncle Clarence Thomas on the fucking Supreme Court, taking up space as a castrated, silent, toxic spectre just like Thomas, too scared to ever open his mouth because he knows everybody knows all that shit about him and will laugh right in his face, that terrible institution of the SCOTUS will be further debased, and that's a good thing for America.  Americans put far too much trust in a body that approved a coup in 2000 and allowed Clarence Uncle Thomas to serve, and that's even before you look back into all the really heinous shit in the 19th and 20th centuries.  This could be good politically for the Dems, too, if any Dem seriously considered packing the court in order to gain political advantage in elections and rulings, but of course, they won't. 

Ted Cruz's Glorious Incompetence Has Trump Scared Shitless

Something's going on in Texas, and the Trumptards are all fucking bent over it.  Since it's still Texas, and since Texas is a fucking wretched shithole full of awful, disgusting, racist fuckbrains, well, Beto is still probably not gonna win.  But seeing the full-on, ocean-going panic is certainly entertaining. 

The Dems should already be using this Kavanaugh atrocity to build an electoral wave big enough to take over the Senate, in which case Beto would win, along with three or four of the other long-shots in addition to holding every seat they now have, but they're not.  Dem support will fade as the election draws closer, and they won't take control of the Senate and will only get 30 or 40 in the House, enough for control but not enough to be the victory they should have won, so many new Dem Senators and House members and so many state-level victories that it stands as an existential crisis for the GOP for the next 100 years.

That might happen in New York and California, though.  The 2018 election might end up being an extinction-level event for the Republican Party in those two states, and the Dems should probably be able to eliminate the GOP as a functioning political party in every level of government, national, state, and local, in NY and CA after this election.  It's a start!

The FBI, In Typical National-Police Bumbling Fashion, Have Given The Dems All The Ammo To Sink The Prospects Of The GOP, But Will The Feckless Dems Act? No!

Of course not. They're Dems. Most of them support Kavanaugh and what Kavanaugh stands for.  Schumer and Perez have already promised to support any Dems who vote for Kavanaugh.  The Dems failed to mount a coordinated campaign to attack Kavanaugh after he repeatedly perjured himself in the hearing with Dr. Ford.  Pelosi and Hoyer, two broken down old plow horses who should have been rendered decades ago, already said they weren't in favor of impeaching Kavanaugh--or Uncle Thomas or Trump, so what good are they?  As usual, the Dems are complicit in the GOP inanity.  Typical petty-fascist FBI incompetence will not be the reason Kavanaugh is on the court or the reason the Dems won't win the Senate.  But the ability to destroy the GOP electorally for the next generation is right there in front of them: Bart O'Kavanaugh on the SCOTUS as a symbol of the drunken rapey incompetence of the the Republican Party strangling the life out of every GOP candidate and campaign.  Why won't they do it?  We know why, but anyone who wants to win will.  If the Dems ever elect enough activist DSA people, then they'll never lose a major election again.

Yankees Get It Done Against A Useless A's Team

The good Judge made sure the A's were never in it.  That's what they had to do.  Onward.

Wednesday, October 3, 2018

Grandee


You Remember Those Horrible Trek Y Bikes And The Goofy And Awful Sweet Spot Bikes

DON'T LIE TO ME, BRETT KAVANAUGH, YOU MOTHERFUCKING RAPEY WEASEL!

Anywho, those Sweet Spot bikes and the fakes like the Trek and Fisher Y bikes were truly heinous things that sucked major donkey balls hard.  What a genius idea it was to have the suspension lock out every time you got knocked off the saddle!  Winning!

What Are The Baggatron Cocksuckers Going To Do When QAnon Is Revealed To Be A Humble Corn Cob?

Q is turning oodles of bugfuck loony teabagging Trumptards into corn cobs every day.  Frankly, we should all be lighting a candle and thanking jesus fucking christ who loves us so motherfucking much for all the high-calorie entertainment we're getting from the rock-ribbed chromosomally-challenged racist reactionary mutants in the GOP.  Thanks, Trump!

Strident Fisking Of The Mercatus Center And George Mason University By David Dayen

In the Intercept.  Dayen flays the liars who are trying to pretend that George Mason University is not a tax payer funded teabagger indoctrination center masquerading as a bottom-of-the-barrel public university.  The Mercatus Center is no more an educational enterprise than Trump University.  In fact, Trump U probably has more credibility in 2018 than the Mercatus Center.  Dayen has fun making the folks who handle this shit at George Mason wish they were never born.  Winning!  Thanks, Trump.

The Thing About The Gossip Kids, Well, They're Mostly Dumb

Of course the Gossip Kids, or lots of 'em, anyway, would think Hillary Clinton is pretty cool because the way too many of the Gossip Kids are fucking airheads who don't know shit about anything and have the analytical abilities of a turnip and the attention span of a flea.  Hooray.

Charlie Kirk Would Need To Add 1000 IQ Points Before He'd Qualify Clinically As 'Nitwit'

That poor stupid bastard is one creepy motherfucker, too.  Charlie is exactly what a corn cob looks like after a lifetime of chronic masturbation.  How many protective orders will be filed against this guy in the next decade?

Don't Let The Kavanaugh Funfetti Distract America From Trump's Small Pathetic Pecker


Marcy Wheeler Has Been Excellent On The Kavanaugh Case

Wheeler's been on it.  She's done a nice job tying the strings up into a manageable narrative, much better than most of the elite establishment media.

Brett Kavanaugh Without The Money: Freddie DeBoer Was Always A Hack And A Dipshit, But He Wasn't The Only One Out There On The "Left"

Freddie deBoer, a useless mediocre white guy like Brett Kavanaugh only without the money, made some news recently in his increasingly pointless existence--look it up if you want--but what should never be forgotten was that though deBoer was crawling along in the gutter of academia, he was no more of a yuge doofus than the repellent idiots like Sady Doyle who decided Freddie was not cool enough for their centrist nonsense and proceeded to choose him as a target of some hilariously addle-headed derision, probably more than anything because he wasn't a sufficiently competent suck-up and Obama fluffer.  DeBoer probably felt pretty stupid getting picked on by a bunch of clowns from the internets and that same non-competeive higher-education sewer in which he was skulking.  These were the same generation of laughingly obvious careerist "liberal" pissboys and pissgirls as deBoer, but they didn't like him.  Clowns.  DeBoer was never much of a writer--he writes like a kid who went to some less than stellar schools and was lauded as the third most talented in completely talentless cohort and was far too proud of his banality--and it's easy to see why he never got much recognition as a writer of consequence, as Freddie tended to act as a bumbling, futile contrarian for not good reasons and to make inane contrarian arguments of no substance in order to show off how clever he was.  The problem was, deBoer was not very clever, or talented, so he came off as irritating and dumb.  That's not a good look.  But Sady Doyle is a fucking ass clown.  The Lawyers, Guns & Money welfare academia idiots are shallow hacks every bit as annoying as Freddie deBoer.  They all suck.  DeBoer is no better or worse than all the lot of those B-student dipshits who think they're clever because they're smarter than the C-student dipshits.  Spoiler warning: they're not.

Australia Eliminates Cervical Cancer, Meanwhile Baggatron Cocksuckers In The USA Want To Put Brett Kavanaugh On The Supreme Court

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Is There A More Pathetic Stooge In America Than Kanye West?

Even in a land with Donald Trump, Lindsey Graham, Ari Fleischer, Paul Manafort, Imani Gandy, Charlie Daniels, every teabagger, there's no way to find a more grotesque and fatuous moron than Kanye West.  Thanks, Trump!

Nobody Trusts Brett Kavanaugh Now, And Except For The Most Mental-Defective Baggatron Cocksuckers, I.E. Every Republican, Nobody Ever Will

Brett Kavanaugh is a beta cuck loser, another small, fragile, blubbering and useless entitled white guy who never did anything for himself, and he's toast as an effective jurist forever--and as fun as watching him fail to get voted onto SCOTUS would be with Miss Lindsey Graham rending his (fabulous) hair shirt in a paroxysm of humiliating and misdirected impotent closet-case rage, complete with uncontrollable defecation, right there on the Senate floor, it would be even better for him to be on the court, acting as a 10 billion pound albatross around the neck of every GOP candidate for every office in America for the next generation.  Even people in Maine know it!  He's the most toxic Republican in America right now, so when the GOP installs him on the Supreme Court, they'll be fucking themselves in such a beautiful fashion.  Thanks, Trump!

Tuesday, October 2, 2018

Prolix Video Fisking Of Creepy Teabagging Cocksucker Dennis Prager

Pretty fun.  This guy doesn't pretend to be a fucking genius or anything, but he knows he's a fuck of a lot smarter than any of those Prager U dickheads, so he goes for it and drags the motherfucking shit out of them in down-to-earth style.  Nice.


Miss Lindsey Graham, The Belle Of The Balls, Wants Nothing But Brett Kavanaugh Nominations Forever--Yes Please!

Yes, Miss Lindsey, everyone who's not a teabagging fuckface or creepy, self-hating reactionary closet-case would love to keep the Brett Kavanaugh hearings going through the next three elections.  It won't last past the next one, but still.  Kavanaugh is the best news for the electoral hopes of the Dems this year.  MOAR!

Brett Kavanaugh Is Every Entitled Mediocre White Guy In The World

He's a constant, comically inept and pompous liar. He's a thin-skinned, impotent, bullying snowflake.  He's creepy and violent, utterly untrustworthy in any personal situation.  He's clueless and dumb, so he's a vile, right-wing, racist, reactionary shitbag.  He's credentialed but untalented and underachieving.  He's Brett Kavanaugh.  He's Donald Trump.  He's every fucking one of them.  They think they own the world.  And they do till the rest of you take it back from them.

Benny Hinn Is Not The Only Bugfuck Crazy Right-Wing Lunatic Bennie Out There

Bennie Elliot is out there too, being a fucking screaming teabagging lunatic and a vile right-wing racist and a creepy, creepy reactionary motherfucker.  Brilliant!  Thanks, Trump.

Devo Flips

Who woulda thought that Devo wouldn't like Republicans?


Easy As Pie


Who Owns You, Twits?

Pwned!  Twits should not ask questions.  But it is a club, a self-selected club of upper- and upper-middle class neoliberal and sometimes downright reactionary white guy assholes who are too fucking useless considering all the privilege they've enjoyed.  So fuck 'em, basically.  Thanks, Trump!

How Long Till Some Reporter Like Cecilia Vega Tells Trump 'Fuck You' On Live TV?

The press is sick of so much winning!  But Vega should have answered Trump with a perky "Fuck You" and then moved on with a question about Trump's comically small penis as he collapsed into a blubbering blubbery orange mound of tears.  That would have been making America greater again.

HamNo Dreams A Little Dream

Gossip Kid from the Gossip Kids' Debate Club, HamNo, gets down in the mud with politics.  Eliminating the Electoral College and the Senate should be job one, and the gerrymandering laws would be pretty easy if the Dems had run on this shit since the dark days of Bill Clinton.  But they didn't, of course.  The only hope for these reforms is that both the GOP and the Democratic Party were murdered by the 2016 presidential election candidates, so once the corpses finish rotting, it will make these changes a bit easier.

Bernie Sanders: 15 & Jeff Bezos: 0

Another victory for Bernie Sanders. Another victory for America.  Sanders and the rest of the folks who have been pushing for a $15 minimum wage just beat a Bond villian for our entertainment.  This is a minor victory, but it is a victory.  Hillary Clinton never would have won this shit.  She was opposed.

Bernie would have won the 2016 election, too.

Has Brett Kavanaugh Taken A Polygraph Yet?

Would be nice to see a Dem Senator asking this question all over the place, too.  Assume Kavanaugh will not withdraw and understand Trump is too stupid to pull the nomination.  The Dems need to make Kavanaugh look like the beta cuck loser he is so all the world can see.

Monday, October 1, 2018

The Dems Were Given The Gift A Week To Signal-Boost All Of Kavanaugh's Lies And Make Him Even More Of A Laughingstock, But They're Dems, So They're Failing

Mayer and Farrow Sinatra Allen are on the case for the New Yorker, but that's not anywhere near enough, because if the Dems don't force Trump to rescind the nomination this week, Flake, Collins, Murkowski, and the rest of the bowel movement conservatives in the Senate will force confirmation along party lines.

THE POINT of the week of investigation was not the investigation itself, which would be a complete fucking sham regardless, but instead making sure the Dems had the time to expose all of Kavanaugh's lies in all of his hearings and to bring out all the other vile and embarrassing shit about him in a concerted effort to destroy him properly.

The Dems should have immediately engaged a unified and tightly coordinated effort to shine a light on the wondrous totality of Kavanaugh's lies before the committee and to corroborate the crimes in his past and beat the nominee over the head with all of it in public.

First, a Senator or two should have been everywhere with film at 11 of Dr. Ford's testimony, talking both about her rock-solid identification of Kavanaugh as her assailant as well as Kavanaugh and Judge laughing at her as they abused her.  Great stuff if you want to defeat Kavanaugh, and the Senators should have been happy and proud to be defending such a wonderful, brave woman and witness.  He lied about attempted rape.

Second and just as important, another Senator should be pushing the questions regarding Kavanaugh's finances and his magic disappearing debt.  He lied about his debt and his finances and who paid for his house.

At the same time, a very nice, kindly Senator should be shocked, just shocked at Kavanaugh's ghastly behavior in front of the committee and talking about all of it to anyone in the media who will listen.  He lied about his motivation and his qualifications.

Then, getting the real fun rolling, another Senator should be discussing the 1 July calendar, telling everyone it is the corroboration of Dr. Ford's story and the roles of the friends, especially Gaudette and Garrett.  Was his calendar a lie?  Or is it the truth?

One Senator should be talking non-stop about Mark Judge and asking how his role relates to the 1 July question above.  Why did Mark Judge lie?  What is Mark Judge hiding on behalf of Bart O'Kavanaugh?

At the same time, a different Senator should be talking about Chris Garrett and his relationships with Kavanaugh and Ford as well as his part in the Ed Whelan fabrication.  Did Kavanaugh help Whelan lie about Squi?

Another Senator should be focused on the roles of the other boys on the calendar.  Are they lying now?

Renate Alumni and the rest of the ffffffffucking drinking and rapey shit in the yearbook could easily be the stuff a young-ish Senator tackles; Cory Booker loves to preen, so he'd be perfect.  Why did Kavanaugh lie about Renate?  What does she think of this horrible violation, Senator Booker?

One Senator each should be publicizing the allegations of Ramirez and Swetnick.  Why did Kavanaugh lie about what happened to these women?

Another Senator should be spreading the stories of the Yale people who say Kavanaugh lied about his drinking and asking why these people have not already been interviewed by the FBI.  Why did he lie about his drinking problem?

A Senator should be publicizing the story of Mark Judge's college girlfriend, Elizabeth Rasor, who has corroboration of Swetnick's allegation.  Why didn't Kavanaugh tell the truth?

Another Senator should have been given a friendly prosecutor to refute all the bullshit Rachel Mitchell told the Republicans AND highlight the fact that Mitchell was fired from the hearing after she brought up the 1 July corroboration of Dr. Ford's story.  Why was Kavanaugh unable to face the same prosecutor during the hearing that Dr. Ford did?

Some Senator with tenure like Leahy should be talking non-stop about Kavanaugh's work with Ken Starr, the vile things he wanted to ask poor Monica Lewinsky, Kavanaugh's part in the Brooks Brothers riot during the treasonous coup and theft of an election engineered by the bowel movement conservatives in 2000, and his highly insane and highly partisan conservatives views on women and their rights in society.

Next, a Senator, one not previously connected with this nomination--and maybe even a candidate or two--should be out pushing the idea that Kavanaugh and Clarence Uncle Thomas must be impeached once the Dems get control of Congress, AND that the next Dem president will add at least two justices to the court in order to counteract two generations of Republican malpractice on the SCOTUS.  These are bad men who should not be allowed to harm the lives of decent, hardworking Americans.  This transcends party and is about basic human decency.  Surely no exceptional American patriot could support men as debased and destructive as Brett Kavanaugh and Clarence Uncle Thomas.

Finally, a leading Senator on the committee, Feinstein if she's up to it, but she's probably not, but someone, maybe Klobuchar, should be constantly in front of the media and on Twitter, wrapping all these stories into a credible whole of a poor girl who was abused when she was 15 by a nasty little twerp who grew into a drunken, lying monster named Brett Kavanaugh.  Just one lie would be enough to keep Kavanaugh off the court, but the lead Dem should be out there right now weaving this rich tapestry of lies and crimes for all the world to see.

All of this, any of it really, would have made Kavanaugh a toxic buffoon in front of America and an anchor around the necks of every Republican running for office in the next decade.

But they're not doing.  Any.  Of.  It.  Because they're Dems and they suck major ass.