Rock Lobster #2 From 1984

Jesus.  32 year old mountain bike.  Times change.  Thank the gods.  Cool shit, though.

Read Good

Fun.  Reading is good for you.

Political Song for Nancy Reagan's Corpse to Sing

There's A Reason Why Trump Wants Cruz

He's going to get him disqualified.  Trump wants the one-on-one with Cruz because Trump sincerely believes Ted Cruz will be legally disqualified from running.  Trump's a wily little fucker, but he is not subtle.  If Trump wants Cruz, it is because he's already beaten him.  This should not be a surprise to anyone.  Donald J. Trump, Sooper Genius.  (What does that say about Cruz?)

Victor Davis Hanson: Exceptional American Idiot

If you ever wonder why every time the Republicans try to do anything, they fuck it up so astoundingly: the answer is Victor Davis Hanson and the phalanx of petty-minded proto-fascist twits just like him providing the "intellectual" leadership--into the fucking ditch.  Dipshits like Hanson are fatuous assholes, and we are right to laugh at their insanity, but they're also a cancer on the sphincter of humanity killing all of us.

Ben Carson Is Not Just An Uncle Tom

He's Trump's Uncle Tom!  That's fucking sweet.  Nice job.  Asshole.

Seriously, You're Def Not Yale Material

Yale's not for you. Or Harvard.  Yale and Harvard and all the rest are only for the few, the very few, and those folks aren't you.  Or me.  Or statistically, they don't exist.  Except they do.  And if Yale or Harvard let five or 10 percent of each class be the truly intelligent, intellectual students and not just more of the mundane spawn of the 0.1% who can write a check, well, be happy for that you shitheel peasant bastard.  It's more than they used to do.

Every Time A Nitwit Conservative Man Gets Hissy About Abortion Rights And 1000 Democrats Don't Get Elected To Something

That screams what fucking garbage people Democrats are.  Fucking creepy loser Brent Bozell gets his empty head full of even yet still more bullshit about scary womens, yet the Democrats can't turn this into electoral gold.  Almost makes you think that the Democratic Party has more in common with the Republicans and shitheads like Bozell than some people would like to admit.

Trump Shouldn't Go Around Cancelling Rallies--He Should Get Some Brown Shirts

Brownshirts make rallies go very smoothly.  Trump Brand Brownshirts are the exceptional brown shirts America needs.  Get yours today!

(Trump Brand long knives, coming in late 2017, sold separately.)

If Any Gods Were Real, They Woulda Dropped An Asteroid Onto The Nancy Reagan Funeral

What a fucking embarrassment to humanity.  Any god who loved us so fucking much woulda smoted that fucking shit show but good.  With a giant, fiery rock from deep space!

Prep School Freakout Day

Today's the day when the Big-6 boarding schools, Andover, Choate, Deerfield, Exeter, Hotchkiss, St. Paul's, along with many of the hangers-on, hand out their acceptances.  Plenty of kids and families with great news, plenty without.  Nothing like playing in the 0.1% sandbox, boys and girls.

Tellin Tails

Is It Wrong To Hope For A Head Shot Next Time?

Or possibly an asteroid impact wiping out Florida?  Does that make me a bad person?  We can hope for the loves of jesus and all the rest of the fictitious, blind idiot gods out there to make sure that every one of the exceptional American vile guntard cocksuckers running around loose gets killed by their own guns by next Tuesday so that America can finally evolve beyond rancid violent insanity.  Rock on, jesus.  Rock the fuck on.

Thank The Gods For Michael Savage!

He'll bring Obama to justice for killing Scalia!!  Michael Savage is what a true Exceptional American Patriot looks like!

Hillary Clinton Will Not Have An Easy Time After She Gets The Nomination

Won't have an easy time with some of the Dems and some of the others voting for Sanders in the primaries.  The Establishment will work as hard as necessary to get Hillary Clinton into the White House--she's been their choice for the last four years.  Some of the folks are not going to smile all the while, though.  Some of that resistance, some of that discomfort might manifest itself as constructive, supportive criticism to make Hillary a better president, but some of it will be good, decent people who can't fucking stand her and saw the shit show she'll be in office even before this campaign began in earnest.

And Hawaii Succumbs To Trump's Yuge Charms

A great night for Marco Rubio!  I'd imagine that once Trump gets Rubio and Kasich out of the race he will drop the Canada bomb on Cruz.  That will be a fine time for all at the ole hoedown.

Donald Trump Is Just Fucking With The Republican Party Now

After his wild rampage tonight, Trump decided to whip out his yuge dick and hit everyone in sight right across the face with the scabrous noodle on wordwide cable tee vee.  Trump gives no fucks at all now--he knows he's their king, and he will make every single one of those motherfuckers eat his shit with a smile on their faces.  He owns them.  They'll feast on rancid steak and drown their nightmares with mouldy wine on the days Trump does not bless them with yet another yuge Trumpshit sandwich, but be it Trump shit or Trump steaks, the Republican Party will chow it down greedily till they choke to death on it. 

Every Fucking Genius Supports Trump

Paul O'Neill.  Fucking brilliant.

Fox Business Has Been The Most Consistently Insane And Consistently Entertaining Election Coverage This Year

Fox Business runs out fuckheads like Neil Cavuto in place of the simpering morons of Fox "News".  Plus the business channel has Lou Dobbs frothing like a rabid pet molester snarling after Mitt Romney and clawing crazily at the likes of Charlie Gasparino and the other anti-Trump mouthpieces on set, while Lisa "Kennedy" Montgomery squeaks out some nonsensical word-salad during the quieter times.  This is pretty fucking frightening but it is also wonderfully entertaining.  Fox Business should be credited for delivering the most glorious inanity per hour during this 2016 election season.

Breaking! Keith Olbermann Doesn't Like Trump!

No shit.  I mean, it's not a shock.  President Trump ain't gonna care what Olbermann says, but President Trump might do well to have Keith Olbermann as his Press Secretary. 

Trump Wins Michigan! Will Rubio Come In Behind Carson?

Michigan, the land that time forgot.  And American doesn't give a shit about.  But they love Trump, so the opprobrium is richly deserved.  Nice going, assholes.  But at least Rubio keeps losing in the most hilariously pathetic fashion imaginable.

Trump Wins Again! Rubio Loses Again!!

Mississippi is a fucking hellhole.  When the least embarrassing and shitty thing to come from your state is Brett Favre, you know you are truly hell's fucking toilet.  Mississippi sucks Nancy Reagan style, too!

Not EVERY Sanders Voter Is Voting For Hillary In The General

Yes, many will, but not nearly all.  For many good and decent Americans, voting for another Clinton is a bridge too far.  Fuck, for more than a few rock-ribbed DEMOCRATS, voting for another Clinton is never going to fucking happen.  The Clintons are just too nasty for those great Americans, and that's okay.  In fact, those Americans are the best Americans, and it is our enduring shame that there are not MORE of them, enough to defeat Clinton in the primaries and get a sensible, pragmatic centrist like Bernie Sanders into the White House. 

None of it is going to matter though, because those Dems will vote for Hillary, and that will be more than enough.  Hillary is gonna suck Nancy Reagan-style, but that's that.

Really Fucking Nasty Morons Are Destroying Our Species

Stupid or evil?  Guess what, you CAN have both!  At some point the entirety of humanity will lose the ability to overcome the tsunami of evil and outright stupidity infecting our species.  These anti-science fuckstains are killing everyone and every thing and need to be stopped. 

Ted Cruz And National Review Starring In The Corrections

Yeah, oops.  It would be hard to decide who sucks moose cock harder, Nancy Reagan-style, National Review or Ted Cruz.

Townies

Exceptional American Racist Republican Trump Voters

Fine, fine lads, who couldn't flicker a 1/2-watt bulb if their lives depended on it.  But these great American patriots are out there supporting Trump every fucking day.  Welcome to hell.

Michael Bloomberg: Exceptional American Asshole

Bloomberg is a jerk-off's jerk-off.  Exactly the last thing the USA needed was another shitheaded billionaire masturbating in public.  Bloomberg is a fucking menace, but at least he's also a coward, so we won't have to spend any of our precious time laughing at his feckless presidential campaign.

Just How Much Cock Did Nancy Davis Reagan Suck?

Truly her only good quality.  But in exceptional America shouldn't we be celebrating Nancy Davis Reagan for her exceptional cock sucking skills?  Everything else about that vile harpy was utterly disgusting.

Wait, Elizabeth Warren Is A Senator?

Who knew?  I think Mr. Lindorff might have overestimated the extent to which Elizabeth Warren is anything other than a US Senator.  Could she have endorsed Sanders?  Sure.  Would that have helped him win in Mass.?  Maybe.  Might that have derailed Clinton?  Probably not.  Are Senators in the business of standing on principle and possibly pissing off the next President?  Not on this planet, Dave.

Ed Schultz And The Russians

When the best of the cable tee vee news channels goes out of business, and Ed Schultz goes on with the Russians, it makes you wonder what the fucking fuck is going on with our glorious rock-ribbed conservative establishment media in this fucking country.  It kinds makes you think that maybe, just maybe the fellers on the tee vee don't have the best interest of the majority of Americans in mind when they report their news.  It is an election year and all.

The Real Nancy Reagan

This is the real Nancy Reagan, and the only thing she should be remembered for.  The rest of Nancy Reagan's existence was a crime against everything decent in humanity. 

Begin The Begin

Nancy Reagan And Peyton Manning: Two Garbage People Nobody Should Give A Flying Fuck About

Nancy Reagan was a hateful imbecile married to brain-dead potted plant, and Peyton Manning is a horrible walking fuckstick.  Nobody on Earth should give a fuck whether these motherfuckers live or die or how or when. 

Rubio's Mortifying Failure In This Campaign Is The Second-Most Heartwarming Part Of The Whole Thing

Yes, watching Trump cut the defenceless Republican Party into quivering bloody chunks of viscera is more fucking pleasing than anything else could ever possibly be, but seeing Rubio fall down like a hopeless, helpless buffoon over and over is pretty fucking great, too, because there is also something ugly and truly horrible at Rubio's core.  That fatuous idiot became the hope of the establishment, and he let them down in the most public and most embarrassing way conceivable. 

This Choate V Loomis Thing Is Dumb Enough To Be On The Serotta Forum

Of course, DCUM pretty much is the fucking Serotta Forum, at least as far as levels of clueless, overprivileged fucktardery is concerned.  The kicker of this nonsense though, after the fools had pretty much agreed that Choate is in an entirely different universe than Loomis Chaffee--it is as LC is an overgrown day school compared to Choate which is one of the Big-5 prep schools (now Big-6 with the addition of all that Koch-sucking money to Deerfield)--is this fucking slice of prime, shit-reeking insanity in the last post, which might be the dumbest thing ever posted on the internets, including Fox "News" and every other conservative website AND the Serotta Forum:

Loomis is phenomenal. Incredible faculty, perfect campus, great location, athletics are second to none, kids place as well as any other NE Prep School (St. Pauls, Andover, Exeter). And the kids there are very well balanced. Loomis really is already superior to Choate and widening the gap every year.  

Positive Bleeding

Watching The Republican Party Bleed Out Is The Best Thing Ever

The Republican Party is groaning and suffering and bleeding out while we watch, in paroxysms of bloody agony that are the real proof of all the gods' love.  But in reality this is all Trump's doing; our children will owe that vomitous shitbird a great debt. 

CPAC 2016 Is The Hilarious Disaster The Republicans Deserve

Donald Trump skullfucked CPAC just for fun this year.  Trump is a terrorist, but his only victims will be the men who made their livings off the Republican Party.  Trump running down CPAC like a three-legged possum caught in his headlights on some crumbling back road in Georgia was just a fun thing he did because it was easy.  Now all those shitheel Trump voters have been shown that CPAC is another one of those shithead establishment clown shows they can ignore forever.

It's Good 2 B

Is Wussy Christgau's Reason?

Christgau's very rarely vital or original, but is Wussy the reason he was born, the reason he worked as a critic?  Certainly the one place where the best argument could be made for the vital cruciality of Robert Christgau is Wussy.  Christgau's been on the Wussy bandwagon for fucking ever--getting word out and lending what passes for his critical judgement and credibility to the band--and maybe that's been his true mission of his life all along.  Nothing wrong with that.  It's more useful for humanity than what many have done or will do.  Better than you, anyway.

Trump Will Be Remembered As The Most Exceptional Of Americans

At their core, Republicans are gutless followers--and they will follow Donald Trump into the abyss, taking their party with them.  For all the nervous braying we are seeing right now, there's no way more than a handful of Republicans will have the balls to defy their masters, and this year will be the end of the Republican Party.  After the historic electoral implosion this November, we will be left with probably three distinct pygmy parties in place of the Republican Party, none of which will ever be a force in national politics again: the vulgar racists of the Trump Party; the most flagrantly ignorant closet-cases in the Teabagger Party; and the diseased rump of the unrepentant, unreconstructed former Republican establishment.  Much of the former Republican establishment, along with the more reasonable of their voters, will move to their true home in the Democratic Party because that establishment will not want to give up their influence.  The best possible next step would be a formation of a new major party in opposition to the Democrats, taking the place on the center-left where the USA has never really had a major political party except possibly for a few minutes during the beginnings of the FDR administration.

This political evolution will be phenomenal for the USA, and it will all be due to Donald Trump.  Eventually, when the crazed racist violence of his life is faded and dimmed by time, Trump will be seen as a hero because he finally vanquished one of the world's worst, most dangerous political movements in human history, the Republican Party.

What Are The Chances That Donald Trump Holds Grudges?

After the pissants finally run out of enthusiasm, wind down their failed campaigns, and fall into line behind their jefe, Herr Trump, do you think Trump will make them pay for their lack of respect?  Is Trump the magnanimous winner, the graceful, forgiving leader, or is he a cruel, spiteful narcissist with a vicious mean streak and a memory like an elephant?  I wonder.

The Answer Is No, Or Only A Fool Believes Trump Is So Much Worse Than Cruz Or Rubio Or

Kasich or Bush or Clinton or Clinton or Bush...

It's nice the insider wannabes want to minimize the venality and absolute evil of the rest of the Republican Party and their candidates all over the country.  Trump's tactless and deranged but less political and polished, so this somehow makes him worse than the violent racists and feckless race-baiters who have been thriving in the Republican Party since 64?  That's fucking genius.  In the end, it's the exact comically shallow analysis you would expect from a below-entry-level conniver.  But since it has the effect of justifying the establishment, you can be sure Campos is not merely being a fucking dipshit.

Please Jesus, Let Us Have Mittens As The Futile Anti-Trump

Mittens Romney, a failed son, a certified loser, a clueless hypocrite, a repugnant shitstain, is the perfectly risible fatuous asswhipe to fail to stop the Trump kaiju rampage.  The rank and file Republican voters hate Romney, and nobody would have less of a chance to derail the Trump express.  But oh fuck it will be all kinds of fun to watch, so please, jesus, do us a solid just this once you fucking asshole.  Give us the Mittens so we can watch Trump wipe his ass with him right there at the convention. 

And Now The Dead Republican Party Calls To A Zombie Loser Mitt Romney

Today the best the Republicans could do was wheel out a proven, certified loser Mitt Romney to attack the new Republican god Donald Trump.  That's pretty fucking beautiful.  Even if Trump doesn't get one additional vote this year, he's killed the loathsome creature that was once known as the Republican Party.

Political Song for Mitt Romney to Sing

Ben Carson, Exceptional American Grifter, Packs Up The Medicine Show

Carson is taking his snake oil grift back home, finally giving up the scam.  Sad for Carson, good for everyone else.  Go fuck yourself, Carson.  You're a loathsome toad.

The Exceptional American Patriots And The Trump Ascendancy

Trump Is Not Worse Than Cruz Or Rubio Or Kasich--Now It Can Be Told

Now that Trump has pounded the lumber into the heart of the Republican Party, the rest of the USA has to acknowledge that Donald Trump is a fucking walking marmalade douchenozzle and vulgar narcissist, but Donald Trump is no worse than Cruz, Rubio, and Kasich.  Cruz is an unctuous religious psychotic, a personification of all the shit squeezed into every sewer in Texas.  Rubio is an empty-headed tool who was dumb enough to quit his Senate seat while still in his 40s in order to lose the presidential primary contest in the most hilarious fashion since Rudy Giuliani, as well as being a loathsome teabagging creep.  Kasich is repulsive Bill O'Reilly-wannabe and arch-conservative cocksucker.  Trump sucks, but he sucks exactly the way the rest of the candidates suck.  President Trump is almost guaranteed to be better, or at least no worse, in the office than Cruz or Rubio or Kasich would have been. 

Ted Cruz Thanks Jeebus For Marco Rubio So Nobody Will Say Cruz Is The Biggest Loser In The Republican Party

Cruz is a repugnant, rancid walking shitstain, but he did win two more primaries than I thought he would.  Unfortunately for that fuckbrain Cruz, he couldn't do well enough in his home state to deny Trump a yuge chunk of the Texas delegates.  This is the end for Cruz, the most repellent Republican in the USA.  That's not nothing!

Hillary Clinton Is Ready To Disappoint

Underwhelming and sad will define the second Clinton presidency for all the decent, sane Americans out there hoping for something at least a bit better.  This is your establishment Democratic Party at work.  Imagine if the USA had an actual center-left or left-wing political party to counteract the reactionary inanity of the Dems and the Republicans--or if the Dems moved leftward to the center, toward a useful, pragmatic, proven, problem-solving agenda for the nation and the world.  Not this year, chief.

Trump Wins Virginia & Marco Rubio Is The Biggest Loser In Presidential Politics In The Last 50 Years

Rubio is a such a fucking loser he makes Huckabee and Santorum and all the rest of the teabagging nimrods and racist cocksuckers look like George Fucking Washington.  Loser loser loser.  And Marco Rubio is the jerkoff that establishment chose to take down Trump.  Heh, indeedy.

Even If Trump Loses Half The States Tonight, He's Destroyed The Republican Party

Super Tuesday is a bloodbath for establishment Republicans.  Trump's damage has already killed the party.  At 7:30 EST, the tee vee outlets are trying to make a few of these races appear competitive, but all you have to see is the disarray on the Republican side to know that win or lose, Trump's won the prize of wrecking what until tonight was referred to as the Republican Party.  No Republican has any clue how to save their asses, and the final insult will come if some mainstream Republican asshole is forced to run on a third-party ticket in a vain attempt to stop Trump.  Glory be to all the fucking gods for they love us so much they gave us this entertainment to bring us joy.

Trump's Campaign Theme Song Is #1 With A Bullet

Trump's Doing It, He's Destroying The Republican Party!

Watching Rubio and Cruz flail pathetically at the invader while Trump zips up his rubber Godzilla suit as he gets ready to stomp on the 1/100 scale Tokyo that is the Republican Party primary contest tomorrow, America finally sees the delicious reality of what Trump is doing.  Nothing is going to be left of the Republican Party or the Republican brand when Trump is finally done with them.  He's not merely killing the host, he's dismantling the nest and dissolving the individual pieces into a foul-smelling slime.  This is the ultimate devastation of a major political party in the modern era.  Why is Trump doing this?  For fun?  To help the nation and the society and the whole fucking world by destroying the rancid evil that is the Republican Party?  Because he's a deranged narcissist?  Because he's a shameless vulgarian?  Because Trump, Bill Clinton, and Hillary Clinton have been a once-or-twice-a-year polyamorous triad fuckfest since the 90s?  We may never know the answer to these questions, but we are gods-damned grateful for the beautiful outcome and will tune in next time for another exciting episode of Bullshit, or Not?

Dave Lindorff On Tulsi Gabbard

Not sure Lindorff gets it, atmo.  As much as I'd like to see Senator Sanders swing for the fences and blow Clinton out of the water once and for all by truthfully tarring her as a vile, neo-liberal, war-mongering piece of shit, I don't think such a plan exists anywhere but with Lindorff, who is not running the Sanders campaign as far as I know.  But changing the tenor of the Sanders campaign not what Gabbard's endorsement is about.  I haven't seen any reporting that Tulsi Gabbard was working with the Sanders campaign as part of a plan to attack Clinton over her disgusting foreign policy record.  Instead, I think Gabbard was looking to piss on Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, which is a worthwhile thing as DWS is a fucking trainwreck, but Gabbard is not looking to propel Bernie Sanders into another level of foreign policy campaigning. 

Never Forget That In A Failed Attempt To Stop Donald Trump In 2016, The Best The Republican Party Could Do Was A Greasy Twirp Like Marco Rubio

As Trump burned down the party after trapping every Republican inside the conflagration, the best and only answer the establishment had was Marco Rubio?  How the fuck does this happen to one of America's major conservative political parties?  Where's the strength?  Where are the Republican leaders?  Marco Rubio is yuge fucking loser, a walking flop-sweat joke, and easily the weakest, most pathetic presidential candidate in the last decade, worse than Huckabee or even the vile stain of Santorum.  So what the fuck is happening?  Who cares?  This is great stuff, gloriously entertaining funfetti, and we are all better for having such joy in our life.

Jeff Sessions: Exceptional American Racist And Trump Supporter

Fucking slimeball Alabama Man endorses Trump!  Even if not all people from Alabama are wife beaters, Jeff Sessions is a yuge piece of shit and racist cocksucker.  Go Trump!  FreeDUMB!  FREEDUMB!!

Fuck Yeah Bill O'Reilly's Custody Loss

Fuckin' awesome!  This is a great day for justice and for entertainment--but only if the other folks on Fox "News" and the other cable tee vee outlets decide to report on this shit with a smirk just as O'Reilly does all the time.  Only then will America get the joy it so richly deserves.

Local H With Peavey T-40 Content

Peavey T-40, the perfect bass for someone who needs the perfect sound forever and doesn't give a shit about anything else.

Eventually Their Band Will Be Your History

At the end, nothing will exist beyond hazy recollections and faded images that might me memories or dreams or fears or phantoms and Superchunk.  Superchunk will be the only thing real.  Superchunk will be the only thing  left.  They will be your life.  They will be the world.

Your Future President Hillary Clinton

She's a peach.  She's a star.  She's the most qualified candidate in American history.  She's a Clinton.  She'll be a shitty president.  She'll be just as bad as everyone thinks she will.  Every bit as bad.  Welcome to the future.

Better Call Saul Remains Way Better Than It Should Be

Season 2 started well, good, real good.  The show works so far, and that simple fact is pretty fucking stunning.  There's no good reason the show should have worked at all, but there you have it.  Better Call Saul is not merely exceeding very low expectations, it's turning into an excellent, highly-watchable and entertaining show regardless of its origin.

OK, Tulsi Gabbard Has Overperformed Expectations

Better than expected for any elected Dem is pretty fucking okay, considering the state of our political nation.  Gabbard is sure as shit not hopping on the Sanders train right as it crashes into the canyon because she's a bandwagon sort.  This smacks of political infighting and some kind of internecine DNC pissing contest, not that that is a bad thing at all.

When this political thing in Hawaii is finished for Gabbard, I would think President Trump should sign an executive order compelling Gabbard to move to Oklahoma so she can be Tulsi from Tulsa, and then she can be in Congress for life or something.  Just sayin'.  

Breaking: Hillary's GS Speech Uncovered!!

Heh.  Maybe a little to easy, but somebody's gotta do it.  Hillary's gonna be a disaster, just like her fat fucking shitbird husband.

South Carolina Is The Land Of Idiots

But it's time for Bernie Sanders to pack it in.  Winners win, and Sanders is not winning anything.  He needed to win in Iowa--maybe he did but ask Al Gore about fucking up an election so badly and making it close enough to be stolen from you--and he needed to win in Nevada and failed miserably.  Bernie Sanders is not going to win anything else in this primary season, and he won't win the nomination.  That sucks because Sanders is better in every single conceivable way than Hillary Clinton, and even if that difference is tiny in some things, it is real, and it is measurable.

Donald Trump is right about the black voters in South Carolina--they're fucking morons.  Of course, Trump is right about the white voters in South Carolina and everywhere else, too...

But the blacks in America are being fucked up the ass dry by their political leaders--as are the whites, of course.  To see the African American community in South Carolina go so absurdly for a vile conservative like Hillary Clinton is pretty much all the justification for any asshole who looks at the Black Lives Matter people and says "You deserve it" before dismissing them forever, much as the working-class white people have been deserving every fucking thing they get for fucking ever.  Sanders represented a small but significant upgrade from racist shitheads like the Clinton family, and the most victimized demographic in the United States continues for more abuse.  Also too, so does the AA community as seen tonight in SC, but fuck 'em all.

If You Have To Listen To The World's Smartest Republican

You're essentially screwed.  But, the Republicans in office now are fucking worthless and basically brainless, and there's no way in hell Obama is gonna cop to the screaming shit show that this economy in the USA.  There are real structural problems with the American economy, and the government doesn't have the ability to even acknowledge them.  Paul Craig Roberts may be the world's smartest Republican, but that's not saying much.

Jane Siberry's World Of Fun Stuff, 2016

Jane Siberry is out there, apparently not making albums any more, but still playing out and making music.  Canada up!

These Exceptional American Patriot Guntard NRA-Terrorist Cocksuckers Need To Hold Off On The Slaughter Until After Trump Buttons Up The Nomination

But for once it's a deranged not-white guy!!

Freedumb!

But these NRA motherfuckers really gotta wait on the murder until after Trump takes care of business.  Nobody's watching your exceptional American patriotism at work with all the funfetti the Republican primaries are bringing.  Wait.  Nurture your hatred.  Let future President Trump hog the spotlight with his hog sidekick Chris Christie.  Then when Trump is on vacation waiting on the convention, whip out your NRA card and kill some motherfuckers with your shiny shiny gun.  But if you do it right now, nobody's gonna care.  Wise up, exceptional American domestic terrorists!

Nobody's Gonna Miss Melissa Harris-Perry

She's a lightweight and a dope, but she's not exactly wrong about the walking fuckstain that is MSNBC.  Melissa Harris-Perry is probably one of the last people I'd put on MY news network, but MSNBC ain't a news network.  So, in exceptional America, we have exceptional Fox "News", exceptional CNN "News", and exceptional MSNBC "News" on our cable tee vee for our edification.  Loverly.

Eventually, Rubio Will Come Out The Closet

But the Rubio campaign won't last long enough this year for him to get outed, but one of these days, Marco Rubio will be free to live his life on his own turns. 

But not today.

Ladies And Gentlemen, In 2018, Your New Manager Of The Trump Resort And Casino Bali: Chris Christie

Chris Christie is amazingly good at being the second banana, the lunkheaded bully kicking the shit out of cripples and morons like Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz in order to curry favor with the star quarterback.  Trump has already really benefited from Christie's endorsement, and with the final insult coming on Tuesday, Christie will soon be sunning his bloated carcass in the sun in Bali, collecting that sweet Trump check and grossing out all the other sorry fuckers on the beach.

The reporting tonight is that Trump has had this endorsement for a few days but was waiting for the right moment.  Fucking brilliant.  Trump's a titanic douche, but he is either a political genius or a political idiot-savant.  Either way, Trump's fucking good at this shit.

Political Song for The Republican Party to Sing

The Republicans Are Timorous Losers, And Trump Is Their King

The tee vee asswhipes were desperately trying to fluff up Rubio after the pasting Trump gave him in the debate Thursday, but the more the establishment media clowns breathlessly mewled, the smaller they made Rubio look.  Trump's gonna win it all next Tuesday, and then the Trump/Kasich ticket can move out into the world bringing entertainment and bemusement and headaches to all the land.  It's gonna be ugly, but watching Rubio's and Cruz's entrails smeared all over the tarmac will be pretty fucking great. 

The Fucking Republican Party Has To Resort To Exceptional American Loser Mitt Romney

Yuge, yuge loser Mitt Romney can't stop Trump.  Mitt's a walking punchline, and the glorious fiasco surrounding his own taxes last time around was just another joke that made him such a yuge loser, so Donald Trump doesn't have much to worry about with Inspector Mittens on the case.

Plus, what's it gonna be like when Trump unloads on Cruz for his million-dollar Goldman Sachs boo-boo and Rubio for his tawdry fiscal failures?  And that's before Trump even gets to Cruz's or Rubio's taxes.  There's probably plenty of shit he could make fun of in those based just from what everyone knows already about their other fuckups.

Obama's Biggest Miscalculation Is A Yuge Understatement

But that miscalculation was not just Obama's.  A bunch of people didn't believe how insane the white racists in the Republican Party would go after Obama's election--or how the entire Republican Party would pander to that racist element.  Far too many decent Americans thought Obama's election represented a real step forward in ending racism in the country, and those people would take far too long to react to the explosion of racist activism inside and outside the government.  Obama didn't merely miscalculate, he doomed his legacy by failing to call out the villains from day one.  Now the Republicans are crazed enough to turn their backs on their beloved Constitution because the POTUS happens to be that black guy.  If Obama had faced the racist hatred early on, he might have been able to make a difference.

John Kasich Makes A Bold Play To Be Trump's Sidekick

Kasich wants to be Trump's Veep.  Ok, then.  Kasich does not believe he can beat Trump or even win in his own state, but he also knows neither Rubio nor Cruz would ever be Trump's VP, so Kasich sees the opportunity to do some heavy lifting for Trump against Rubio.  It's a ballsy, nakedly pandering move, but if it gets Kasich his wish to be the #1 Donald Trump pissboy, today will be the day he made that dream come true.

K Records Shit Show

Somebody in the comments had it right: do a big-ass Beat Happening tour to make some fucking money to pay the debts.  Make it an lo-fi festival that goes on and on.  Why the fuck not?

It Will Probably Take President Trump To Deliver Pacific Rim 2

I won't believe in this flick till I'm sitting in the theater on $5 Tuesday.  President Trump will fucking produce this movie himself AND get the Chinese to pay for it.

Sooner Rather Than Later, The Democratic Party Establishment, And The Rest Of America, Will Regret Denying Sanders

All the quacking little fuzzy ducklings in the Dem establishment should know better--but then you could have said that about a thousand things in just the last seven years.  The establishment is behind Hillary because the establishment is behind Clinton, in other words, reasons, Clinton reasons.  But as the Clinton Jr. Presidency unfolds, the establishment, professional Democrats will regret not backing Sanders while they watch the value of their brand and the value of their careers be debased a bit more every day. 

At Least Lee Papa Admits That We All Live In The Republican's Land Of The Nigger President

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Interesting Steve Potts Thing

As seen on the... Anyway, this Steve Potts interview is pretty decent both as a personal story and as a tale of someone who made it work in the bike industry.  Remember when WTB was going to be an OEM that rivaled, well, some of the rivals?  Grease Guard?  I loved that shit.  The tires too.  Then it all exploded and the shit became literal shit.  Potts was able to keep it going.  Steve Potts Bicycles sounds like it might be able to keep it up for a while.  That's cool.

Atrios Goes To Gawker

Seven?-ish years late, Hamilton Nolan channels Duncan Black--and a shitload of other folks, but this this Atrios' shtick for sure--and goes all sane about giving the people money to save the economy.  It's a yeah-duh-no-shit thing if you're going to spend the money anyway bailing out banks and wicked wealthy investors because that money would do so much more in the hands of the many and not the few.  Anyway, I guess it's a start.

Look for Hamilton Nolan to advocate increasing Social Security benefits and minting a coin to balance the budget sometime in the 2020s.

Ted Cruz Is What An Exceptional American Loser Looks Like

It's mourning in America tonight for Ted Cruz.  It's also mourning in America for the Republican Party.  Another big loss for Rafael Jr. in Nevada, third place behind a fucking greasy dipshit like Marco Rubio.  So why exactly is this idiot staying in the race?  Texas has to do the gods' work for once and give the primary victory to Trump next week.

Right now Trump is up by 24%, more than doubling the first loser Rubio.  Those sounds you hear are the fading death rattle of the Republican Party and the rising chorus of Democratic Party cheers at the Hillary Clinton inauguration.

Hey Susie

Yes, Yes They Do, Victor

Rock on, sister, but you don't need that shirt to do your talking for you.

Bernie Sanders Is Not That Bad, Shane Ryan!

Oh...I see what you did there, Shane Ryan.  You were making a funny.  It's really Hillary who is pretty nasty and bad.  Very good.  I get it.  Yah.  Funny.  Satire. Snark.  Yeah.

Chris Carter Is No Closer

X-Files was always kept small by Chris Carter's empty head.  Carter is another JJ Abrams, another Damon Lindelof, another Ronald D Moore, and never had any fucking idea what to do with his show.  I  can't believe people were surprised by last night's episode.

Another Way To Spell Incompetent: Rafael Edward "Ted" Cruz

Ted Cruz is a freedumb bomb!  He was always an unctuous little turd, but now he's shown once and for all that he couldn't manage a Miami Beach lemonade stand without fucking it up.  I'd imagine Cruz is going to get crushed tonight in Nevada, and if he even lasts long enough to lose to Trump in Texas, that would be some kind of exceptional American miracle.

So Far, As Usual, Obama And The Dems Are Losing On This Supreme Court Thing

The fluffers are not looking like winners today.  And the fact that there aren't a shitload of sitting Dems and candidates drowning out the Republican grandstanding on this thing is unsurprisingly typically disappointing.

Walking Head

Life Could Be Worse: You Could Have Bought A PureSalem Guitar

Jesus, what a fucking shit show.  This company is supposed to have a better quality control even though the instruments are made in Korea, but this guitar is a fucking piece of garbage.  And it costs a fucking grand!  Gigalbe right out of the box?  Not quite.  No amount of interwebs horseshit and ass-kissing can overcome this Canadian reality horror extravaganza.

Harry Reid Got What He Wanted In Nevada

Reid is a party guy, and the Democratic Party is ruled by the Clintons these days.  Reid won't be around long enough to enjoy the full fruits of his electoral talents, but some of us will probably be alive at the finish of Clinton Presidency II, and we will remember Harry Reid exactly as he deserves.

Canada And Hipster Do Not Compute

But they got 'em. Somehow.  Leslieville is the Brownsville of Toronto, I guess.  Jesus.

Alan Grayson Is An Awfully Unlikely Target

Wait...what? Grayson is an obvious target. Got it.  Grayson is hated by the entry-level, aspirant apparatchiks and other establishment pissboys, so even someone who would appear at Huffpost can see the logic behind the slime behind the attacks.  Perhaps Grayson is as corrupt as Hillary and Bill Clinton.  Perhaps Grayson is as corrupt as the Bush family.  Perhaps Grayson is as corrupt as the Cuomos or Rudy Giuliani or Dinesh D'Souza, but the entire Democratic Party establishment is not actively trying to destroy the Clintons or the Bushes or Cuomo or Giuliani or D'Souza.  The entire Democratic Party establishment is trying to destroy Alan Grayson.  What makes him so bad?

David Sirota And Billmon

Very entertaining Twitter feeds as the primaries have unfolded.  Let's all be sure we never forget why President Clinton II winds up being such an infuriating, disheartening failure.  We all should know it from the start and remember February 2016 when the time comes.  Sanders is not perfect but he would have been better--and even that tiny bit better would have been remarkable considering the state of America in the 21st century. 

Even Still Yet More Heartwarming Fukushima Stories

Fukushima, cuz jesus loves you enough to suck your dick on horseback.  Yes, Fukushima is a fucking atrocity and was of course an accident waiting to happen.  But what to learn?  Learn that the energy infrastructure of the entire planet is fucking shit show and that the governments in charge around the world are at best inept and at worst downright reactionary teabagging evil.  Have a nice day.

A Signal Boost Of Yo La Tengo Is Always Tip Top

Good job.

Sugarbaby