Walls

Oh, No, RIP Pat DiNizio

Pretty sudden, though he had been sick the band was planning another tour.  That sucks.

Girls Girls Girls

Have The National Dems Learned The Lesson Of Alabama?

No, probably not.  The Dems are not going to do everything to build a vibrant constituency and bring out huge numbers of African Americans and other minorities, working class non-minority voters, aka cracker assholes, women, younguns at every fucking election.  Nope, the Dems will probably continue chugging along as the lame little brother of the GOP and continue to lose most of the races they should be winning--or would be winning if they represented a clear alternative to rock-ribbed conservative neoliberal bullshit.

Chris Froome Registers The Least Surprising 'No Shit' Failed Drug Test In Recent History

No. Shit.  Froome and Team Sky are the Lance Armstrong/USPS for this decade.  What a bunch of wankers.

It's Official: Trump Is Sick In The Head From Not Winning

No winning for Trump.  He's sick.  Sick in the head.  Everything Trump touches turns to shit.  Everyone Trump backs is a loser.  A good day for the country and the world.  MMAAAGGGGAAAAA!

Steve Bannon Must Be Sick Of Winning

Bannon sure looks like a loser this year.  Is he sick?  Sick of too much winning?  Does Bannon even know what winning really is? 

Charles Barkley Is Not Sick Of The Winning

Big Alabama guy on CNN right now from the Jones HQ.  Is he drunk?  Or just happy?  Or is the answer Alabama.  But Barkley is calling for the Dems to be better for the black folks and the poor folks in Alabama and beyond.  Nice.  Thanks, Mr. Barkley.

Roy Moore Is Sick To Death Of All The Winning!

Where's the winning for Moore?  Where's the winning for Trump?  First, Trump's man loses in the primary and then Trump's next man loses in the general!  MMAAAGGGGAAAAA!

InfoWars Is Losing Their Shit As The Race Was Called For Jones

A couple of the A-ball dipshits are blubbering their way through the call right now.  Pretty fucking hilarious.  Thanks, Trump!

Laura Ingraham's Low-Rent Facelift Is Full-On Uncanny Valley Tonight

The stress of Moore's risible loss is making her strip-mall plastic surgery look especially bad tonight.  Holy christ, she was homely woman before but now she looks like a Chinese knock-off dollar-store sex doll.  Jesus.

The NYT Election Widget Is Pretty Fun

A good design. Fun to watch as the results come in.  Watching the Roy Moore stuff coming in is even better!  Fox "News" is lots of fun tonight as well.

What's Worse For The GOP? Win Or Lose?

Short-term a loss means Trump has to eat a Roy Moore shit sandwich in public till christmas.  Fun!  But long-term, watching those Republican cocksuckers in the Senate try and deal with Moore will be a beautiful expression of American exceptionalism. 

Roy Moore's Jewwy Jew Lawyer Will Never Be Sick Of All The Winning

And by winning, we mean money, right Shylock.  This is such a wonderful expression of beautiful conservative Republican racist values that I think I need a cigarette. 

Jesus Frakking Christ, Arne Carlson Shows More Brains Than Any 30 Dem Senators

Of course, Carlson is not Kirsten Gillibrand angling to get rid of Franken in order to raise her own profile and eliminate rivals in the run-up to the next presidential election, either.  But good on Carlson for seeing the ratfucking and calling out the cowardice and stupidity on the Dems' side.  Jeez, a GOP guy who might not be a complete fucktard.  How might that happen?

V Little

Revolution Rock

Drive-By Fisking Armando Llorens Is Way Too Fucking Easy

Armando Llorens Big Tent Democrat sucks moose cock.  He's as nasty a neoliberal fuckwad as you will find sniffing Hillary's panties for fun and profit.  Fisking that piece of shit should be the sworn duty of every decent American.

Asked And

Heinous Right-Wing Shitbag Richard Shelby Sure Looks Sick Of All The Winning

So winning. Such sick. Yeah.  Poor Shelby is about have his Alybammy look even shittier on the world stage, and he has to live with it like a chump.  Thanks, Trump!

Collect Calling

$5 Million Is Not Nearly Enough Cash To Fuck That Creepy Harelip Motherfucker Trent Franks

Franks is a vile fucking teabagging shithead, so no wonder he tried to bribe chicks with $5 million to fuck him.  Not even Bill O'Reilly's most strung-out ladyboys would take that deal.

Of Course The Trump Pee Tape Is Real

And for sure it's actually Bill O'Reilly's favorite Indochinese ladyboys brought to Moscow to piss on Trump while Putin watches.  That will be the unanimous choice for best picture this year and every year for the next decade!  Thanks, Trump.

Suddenly Boston College Does Something Good

Nobody likes Duke.  So, for today at least, Boston College is not complete shit.  Thanks, Trump!

Political Song for Dems to Sing to Kirsten Gillibrand

How's That Post-Franken Unceasing Call By The Dems For Trump's Resignation Going

Not so much? Shocking!  Who knew that Gillibrand and her braying herd of assclowns would forget all about this shit now.  This kinda shock can kill a girl...

Babby Songz

Black In Back

One State Solution In Palestine

Now's the time.  Undo apartheid Israel from the inside.  One secular state.  Civil rights and voting rights for all.  Freedom of religion.  Capitol in Jerusalem.  A perfect end to the struggle for Palestinian freedom.  Thanks, Trump!

The Dems Had One Mission: Deny Roger Stone Franken's Scalp

They failed.  Gillibrand and her herd of braying buffoons played exactly the way ratfucker Roger Stone knew they would.  Franken has been a target since 2008, and the Dems were stupid enough to fall for the trick.  Always ask why Gillibrand and the rest of those dumb broads were so upset about this but not nearly so upset about Merrick Garland or healthcare or the fight for $15 or any of the other shit that non-conservatives care about.  They pick their battles carefully.  Very.  Carefully.

Franken And The Dems Go Down Like Bitches

Now let's watch the Dems lose a Senate seat when both Minnesota Dems are on the ballot next year.  Fucking genius!  It's the slimy neoliberal careerist shitbirds like Senator Gillibrand and her band of merry airheads that might have cost themselves a majority.  Somehow, I don't think that matters all that much to them, though.  It's long past time for anyone with even half a brain to abandon the Dems once and for all.

Relined

What If The Next Victim Of The Democrats' Stupidity Is Someone Really Fucking Great?

Those morons with their coordinated attack on Franken--not on Trump, not on Moore, not on the tax cuts, not on McConnell, but on one of their own--what if those idiots destroy someone really excellent next time?  Gillibrand and the rest of those braying morons should never be trusted.  They destroyed Franken, but what if it is an actual decent or even a really great Dem next time?  A leader, a real, left-wing Democratic Party superstar being ratfucked by a creepy pervert like Roger Stone for no reason, what then?  Dems lose because they are losers.  It's not a mistake that they lost 1000 officeholders under Obama.  It was not a mistake that the Dems gave up a seat on the SCOTUS.  It's not a mistake that nobody destroyed ratfucking sex pervert Roger Stone 40 years ago.  Dems lose because they are losers.  If Dems were winners they'd be defending Franken, attacking Trump, opposing the tax cuts, fighting for single payer, fighting for a $15 minimum wage, attacking Moore and Farenthold and the rest of the GOP scum.  But they don't.  And they never do.  That's not a mistake.  Not an oversight.

Democrats Will Forever Be An Unending Disappointment

Vacuous self-righteous fools, mugging for a camera, too stupid to know they're being played.  This is why Dems lose.  It's also why Dems have shitty positions and can't bring themselves to stand up to the rest of the right-wingers.  Franken is merely a test case for Roger Stone's ratfucking--and it didn't start this fall as they've been targeting him since 2008--and the Dems led by those dumb broads are failing in the most embarrassing fashion.  Now the Dems are counting on Dayton to make the absolute right pick to replace Franken because Dayton fucks up the choice he might give the GOP a chance to pick up that seat in 2020.  Dayton's never been known as a genius or anything, so those airhead Dems have better have thought this all the way through.  Two things we know: Dems are weak and stupid and Dayton will put a shitty right-wing establishment Dem in the seat.

Sensed Less

Get The Fuck Out John Conyers

88 is too fucking old to hold that much power in Congress.  Regardless what Conyers did or didn't to with his pecker to his staff, he was decades past his sell-by date and should have been out a long fucking time ago.  Pelosi, too.  Buh-bye.  Feinstein.  Rangel.  Get the fuck out.  These Dems are all to fucking old and should be retired.  No wonder the Dems are so retarded.

Air-Headed War Groupie K.T. McFarland Is In Trouble

McFarland has probably sucked her last dick in service to America.  I guess it's hard to see it now, but maybe she was hired for looks or special skills 40 years ago.  Sure as shit she was never hired for her brains.  Even by Republicans.  This is another risible example of Trump picking the absolute biggest conservative morons for every possible role.  Brilliant!  Thanks, Trump.

Back to Fox "News" for her, where she can help Hannity brush up on his technique.  

Robert Mueller Seems To Be Enjoying Himself

Mueller's case will ultimately rest on the contents of tax documents and bank records, so nobody needs to wear a wire, but Mueller is certainly fucking with those nimrods on purpose.  The administration is wobbly to begin with, and this joyous abuse is simply Mueller's way of torturing them.  Rock on, Bobby Mule-er. 

Thanks, Trump!

Vanessa A. Bee With An Interesting Call For Non-Elite Boarding Schools

Exeter for everyone? Umm, no.  But the idea and ideal of more care for everyone and not less is a valuable one.  Kind of like the Norwegian model where the local community schools are comprehensive starting early, where the kids learn skills and self-reliance and shit like that without having to be locked in miasmic kinderprisons out of fear or lack of funds.  Current Affairs again.

Comprehensive, Elegant, And Brutal Ben Shapiro Fisking

That disgusting creep the Virgin Ben gets shredded by Nathan J. Robinson, and every good man and kind woman out there has a special feeling in the underpants now.  Shapiro is sad and foolish little man, and the more ridicule we can heap on his misshapen head, the better off everyone will be.

Paul Manafort Apparently Not Yet Sick Of All The Winning

There's some winning left for him, I guess!  Manafort's clearly a sooper-genius if he fucked up his deal so comically.  One thing you can be of with Trump is that every single person working with him is the biggest idiot Trump could find.

Phoney Tree

The Story Of X, So Far

Somewhat remarkable X is still out there as a functioning entity.  40 years is a long freekin' time, and they were never a huge draw or anything.  John Doe is probably really happy he's friends with Exene instead of still married to her...

Trump V Dead Intern Scarborough? Fuck, Yeah!

These two loathsome shitbirds should take this fight to the death.  Trump and Scarborough are most disgusting right-wing assholes on the planet, so if they can take each other out, well, that would be the best thing that has happened to America in a hundred fucking years.

Aaron Boone Is Sure As Shit A Huge Middle Finger To Girardi

Why Boone? Simply because he's not Joe Girardi?  Well, oh kay, then.  I think that the Aaron Boone the Yankees hired has promised to be the company man the company wants, whatever that is.  And he's not Joe Girardi.

Factory Fresh

Mike Flynn: Sick Of Winning, Bigly!

It's a bonfire of the Trumptard omega cucks!  All the teabaggers and other right-wing GOP fuckwits should be losing their minds, but they're too stupid to understand what the fuck Mueller is doing to do anything about it.  This is some fun stuff.  Thanks, Trump!

Surf's Up

Blake Farenthold Is A Good Looking Fella, But He's Sick Of All The Winning!

Even porky piggies like Farenthold can't stomach all this winning!  Good thing he's got his side job as a supermodel to fall back on!!

Ben Domenech Is A Fatuous Cocksucker, A Liar, A Plagiarist, And A Fucking Dimwit

Fuck him, fuck his friends, fuck his stupid illiterate petite-fascist fanzine, and fuck every other reactionary shithead.  Domenech is obviously pretty okay with child molesters, but everyone shoulda known that just by looking at him.

Bandwagon Fanclub

Now Everybody Likes 'The Orville'

Bandwagonesque, anyone? (The idea, not the album.)  It's not just the gossip kids, but all the ass clowns who were shitting on the show way harder than they shit on most trash are now on board or at least on the platform.  It's popular.  We like cool things, too.  We know what's good.  Look at us having the same opinions like everybody else.  Keep in mind these are some of the same folks who think they're sharp enough to discuss other, sometimes somewhat important shit, too.  Thanks, Trump.

Joe Barton Is 100% Sick Of All The Winning

Yeah, bye, k.  Who could possibly be sick of winning with Joe Barton?  Maybe the poor fat fucker realized he didn't have too many good years left of yanking his nasty little pud on the internets, so it was now or never to chase that dream.  Thanks, Trump!

The Rest Of The World Gets In On The Ben Domenech-McCain And The Federalist Fisking

Welcome aboard.  Ben Domenech-McCain will always shit out the dumbest plagiarized bullshit, even when he doesn't write it himself.

X Back

Jane Sanders Obliterates Joy Reid

Oh yeah.  Vicious.  Reid deserves no less.

Not Ewe Too

Terrible Things About U2, And Thanks The Gods Nobody Cares

Nobody gives a shit about U2's new record, but the 90s were a terrible time for U2.  The music was laughably bad, and anyone who doesn't understand that is a fucking vile moron.

Comprehensive Yet Joyless Fisking Of The Proud Boys, America's Most Explicit Expression Of Closet Cases Since The GOP

Sure, it's fine to catalog their fascist, violent, misogynist, and racist tendencies and actions, but when you get into the fabulous weeds with the proud boys, you simply must revel in ridicule and point and laugh at their pathetic homosexual subtext.  These semi-pro nancyboys are not just the guys not cool enough to make the team or get a bid to the top fraternity, but they're the guys who didn't get into state u in the first place.  Most decent folks would say it doesn't matter if these losers are timid closeted homos, since that's their own business, but not those proud boys.  They pride themselves as virile and desired, but their whole existence screams help me, love me for my very gay self louder than the Village People, Rob Halford, or even Alex Jones.

1 Line, No Waiting

Figuring Out Arcade Fire Is Not That Hard

There's nothing complex, nothing deep about the band.  They're good.  Very good at their peak, and now they'll never be that good again.  Never brilliant.  Never the Mekons.  Far too easy to overthink Arcade Fire, but the answer is pretty simple.  I said years ago that The Suburbs was like Jonathan Franzen's The Corrections, good, very good at times, clever in spots, entertaining, but short of brilliant, while also clearly the creative peak of the artist.  Arcade Fire, like Franzen, is easy to figure out.

James O'Keefe Is Now Officially Sick Of All The Winning

O'Keefe is fucking sick! What happened to all the winning?  He probably thought he'd never get sick of all the winning, but something happened.  What was that??

Thanks, Trump.

Word Up

Trump Is No Worse Than Every Other Racist GOP Shitbag

Of course he made an embarrassing racist remark in front of drunken redskins who were playing powwow for firewater.  Why wouldn't he?  It's the GOP way!  Those fucks love that shit!  And every one of 'em got to take home a free blanket, too.

Kevin Sorbo Is A Special Kind Of Stupid

It's nice that he can usually put on his big boy pants by himself now and go outside to play, but that poor dumb bastard should not be left alone ever.  Sorbo is one of those nitwits who can't understand that Hillary Fucking Clinton is not actually elected to anything right now, so she matters almost less than Kevin Sorbo.

Joy Reid May Be A Village Idiot, But Erick Erikson's Fat Face Is Not Up To Fisking Her

I'm sure Erick son of Erick has trouble picking his nose without adult supervision.  Reid's no-show job in the establishment is safe as long as dimwits like Erickson are the only ones sniping at her.

Political Song for Chuck Timlin, Chip Lowery, Adam Hardej, and the Rest to Sing

Trump's Incompetence Is Breaking Every Facet Of American Government

And it's hilarious.  Trump's not simply a tiny-fingered vulgarian, not simply a childish imbecile, no, he's so much more.  Trump is tediously stupid, hopelessly incompetent, and the GOP establishment is helpless before him.  These are the greatest days for entertainment in human history.  And he's not just destroying America, he's unraveling the entire western world.  Thanks, Trump!

Ginnin' It

Trump Will Lie About The Piss Tape, Too

He's trying to lie about the pussy tape now, after admitting it already because senile, and no doubt Trump will lie about the piss tape when it comes out, denying that those Indochinese ladyboy hookers pissing on him were the ones he met through Bill O'Reilly.

Atrios' Peeps Pretty Much Grok Franken

A coupla lame trolls and an unfortunate midwestern lesbian are fucking dumb as rocks, but, as a whole, better than the general population on this shit.  Small victories and whatnot.

Uncle Tom Tim Scott Is A Little Bit Sick Of All The Winning

Even a boot-licking Uncle Tom can have too much winning, I guess.  Scott will never jeopardize his place in the plantation house, but that doesn't mean his obsequious smile is sincere. 

Doctor Who, Way Before It Was Cool Or A Reasonable Facsimile

Jesus, it musta sucked to be a greasy dweeb loser before the interwebs.  Those poor fuckers had to be tedious and awful in person and through the mail...

Down Trickle

Somehow Basic Science Is Too Hard For Every Fucking Republican

Science is sciencing right there in front of them every day, but none of the teabagging GOP racist fuckfaces are smart enough to get it.  That's not good.  You don't need to be a scientitian or other expert to comprehend the concepts involved.  Reactionary right-wing ignorance, carefully cultivated by the ruling class is destroying humanity.  Evolution is a fact.  It's happening.  Your gods are fantasies. 

Goin' Downer

Rosy Jackoff

Nice Writeup On The Orville

Well-done.  The Orville is not the greatest show ever or anything, but it is a decent TNG homage.

Six Years Of Fuk U Fukushima

Jesus frakking christ. That's half a life if you're 12.  It's an amazing artifact of our modern civilization that this shit can happen and then just fade out of the collective consciousness.  Wonderfully useful for maintaining the status quo. 

The Twits Fail Net Neutrality

Some of them try their damnedest, working their empty heads overtime, but of course the reactionary cocksuckers like that #one centaur guy show up to puke up bullshit and then everyone gets confused and forgets what they were talking about.  Fucking twits.

Danica Roem May Never Get Sick Of All The Winning In Virginia

Keep it up, girl!  Roem's winning sure looks like losing for Trump and all the hateful fundie shitheads and other vile bigots in Virginia.  Thanks, Trump!

Joe Barton Whacking His Tiny Weiner Is Truly Making America Greater Again

Nothing says American exceptionalism quite like a fat, 90 year old congressman furiously jerking his tiny dick on video.  Winning!  MMAAAGGGGAAAAA!!  Thanks, Trump.

Those Motherfuckers At Time Had Better Make Colin Kaepernick Man Of The Year

Or Kim Jong-un. Or Hillary Fucking Clinton.  Something that will make Trump have a complete, beautiful, public, hilarious, pants-shitting, shit-throwing psychotic break.  Please jeebus.

Beautiful Christian Patriot Christopher Gattis Is Not Sick Of All The Winning

Gattis loves jesus, the constitution, freedumb, Donald Trump, guns, and America!  He's responsible for the greatest headline in human history: Youth Pastor Murders Family At Thanksgiving.  Fuck yeah, America.  Thanks, Trump.

Useful Juanita Broaddrick Fisking

Clinton was trash, and the women he was attracted to were fucking trash as well.  Broaddrick is fucking problematic as a hell.  She fucked up so badly that we'll never know what happened between her and Tubby.

Going Goes

And The Fucking Cowboys Lost On Thanksgiving

The world may be shit with no sane person thankful for anything significant, but when the vile excrement of American exceptionalism the Dallas Cowboys lose in humiliating fashion in front of the nation, well, fuck yeah.

Tom Baker Will Never Be Topped As Doctor Who

Unchallenged number 1.  Eccleston probably 2.  More than a couple tied for 3.  And so it goes.

Gobble This, Motherfucker

Let It Ring

Always The Dumbest Take From Gleeful Pissboy Ezra Klein's Vox, Franken Edition

Too stupid to live, that should be the Vox credo.  Always lame, always shallow.  Always wrong.  So according to moron Anna North the photograph of Franken and Tweeden shows Franken "apparently harassing" Tweeden.  NO IT DOESN'T!  The picture was staged.  He never touched her!  She was not sleeping.  Jesus fucking christ, why would Vox or anyone else take the word of movement conservative and Fox "News" contributor/Roger Stone operative Leeann Tweeden?  That's moronic.  Then Franken supposedly failed to "respect the bodily autonomy" OF A TRUMP VOTER!  WHO COMES OUT YEARS LATER!  What the fuck?  How can anybody be this dumb.  Franken may have done something.  Or not.  But right now there are no decent reasons to believe he did anything wrong because Roger Stone.  Stone is not to be trusted, so all this shit and all these "accusers" are highly suspect. 

And North, who writes and thinks like she's 12, probably didn't live through the Clinton shit, but the people who did live through it understood that Monica Lewinsky was grooming Clinton for exactly what she got; Tubby was guilty of bad judgement to the billionth degree, but he didn't target or groom Lewinsky for harassment.  Juanita Broaddrick may or may have been raped by that asshole Clinton, but the evidence available at the time, including a sworn statement from Broaddrick herself that it never happened, made it impossible to believe her.  Bill Clinton was a vile piece of shit and a worse president--much the same way Franken is a loathsome neoliberal establishment Dem senator--but that Clinton/Lewinsky bullshit was a politically motivated hit job, and the shitbird Dems had no choice but to fight it.  Anna North is an airhead and wrong as wrong can be about this shit show, so she fits right in at Vox.

Reasonable, If Shallow, Al Franken Fisking

No pearls clutched and an understanding that any dipshit appointed to replace him would be just as much a neoliberal tool as Franken.  That's better than most other commentators have managed!

John Rogers Is Sick Of All Roy Moore's Beautiful Winning!

So sick of all the winning that he quit!  With three weeks left in the campaign!!  MMAAAGGGGAAAAA!!!

A Billion Views For Bullshit, But This John Langford Thing Gets No Comments

AV Club and America suck.  Jon Langford keeps chugging along, working working working till he drops.  Rock on, cowboy.

Roy Moore's Wife Was A 24-Year Old Divorced Single Mother When They Married

In fucking shitsville Alabama, in 1985.  Was she as vulnerable and powerless and malleable as a teenager to the 38-year old pervert Moore?  Was she helpless and needy?  Was she willing to put up with his shit because she had no prospects?  Was she like an 8th-grader from a broken home?  Was she like a poor, naive teenager happy to get the attention?  She might be a vile cunt now, but was she just another dumb girl exploited by a serial predator?

Joe Barton's Dick Is Not Sick Of The Winning

Joe Barton and his useless little weeny are never gonna be sick of winning!  Barton is a hot and horny Texan with a compact tool ready for some nauseating cowboy action with mature Lone Star heffers.  MAGA!

Brutal Fisking Of Exceptional American Inanity

William Kaufman is not amused.  Good for him.  Perspective is not encouraged around here.  Never really was.  But the grossest atrocities have always been and will always be obfuscated by the puerile behavior of our "leaders" and other "celebrities" because that is very good for business as usual.

Trains

Richard Spencer Is Not Sick Of Winning!

Winning! MAGA!! Hitler!!!  Richard Spencer is making friends everywhere he goes.  Everybody wants to be associated with America's beautiful neo-Nazis.  These are some exceptional Americans for sure!

How Old Was Roy Moore's Wife When He Met Her?

15? When he noticed her at a dance recital? That's not too fucking creepy or anything.  What the fuck was he doing hanging out at dance recitals?  Jesus christ!  He says he didn't hop on her at that time, but he's a fucking liar and a child molester, so we can't trust him.  This gods damned creepster was a full-time child predator.  How the fuck are we just learning about this atrocity now?