Take In Too

Wake Up America: Trump's Not Telling You The Truth About The Aliens Already Here--Space Aliens!

They're here--and Trump's not tellling you the truth!  You can't trust Obama and you can't trust Trump.  The aliens are working to undermine America!  They have a plan.  Like Cylons!  But different.  Only exceptional American patriots can stop the aliens now!

Plus bigfoot.  Trump's not telling you the truth about bigfoot either.  Gotta get the truth about bigfoot.  This shit's vital to real Americans and freedumb.

This Shit Is Sick And Sad

Lou Barlow should be ashamed of this.  Getting back with J, that's fine.  Firing the drummer, that's fucking cliche.  But that nonsense about social anxiety is fucking inexcusable.  It's nice that Barlow feels alienation.  Great.  The banality of human existence in 21st century America.  But Barlow's had an outlet for it most people don't have the talent or luck to enjoy.  It's not surprising that Barlow feels weird around other parents at his kids' school, but he'd feel a shit ton more awkward if he was punching the clock at some low-paying job and really couldn't afford to be there at all.  I understand that Barlow's Kath may have been a horrible bitch, but people suck, and Barlow is willing to remain in an even more insane dysfunctional relationship with J Mascis because Dinosaur Jr. pays.  Making a big deal out of mundane struggles is pretty fucking tacky when you are living a great life in the entertainment industry.  Grow the fuck up.

Fuck You Bill Cosby, You Would Have Been A World-Class Piece Of Shit Even If You Weren't A Serial Rapist

Cosby sucked huge ass even before everyone on the planet knew he was a serial rapist, sexual abuser, manipulative slab of ambulatory garbage.  But now we know so much better.  Cosby is the perfect Republican and ultimate Uncle Tom, so I'd imagine we'll see him giving the keynote address when Trump gets the GOP nomination next year. 

Fuck Off, George Pataki, No-One Likes You

Literally, not one single person likes you, Pataki, you fatuous cocksucker.  Go away and never, ever come back. 

Keep in mind that this dickbag Pataki is 70 years old and very much alive, unfortunately, but Lemmy is dead. 

R.A.M.O.N.E.S.

All American Accepted

Electric Motor Head

Hard To Believe Lemmy Could Die

He was fucking old as dirt and still doing the Motorhead thing till the end.  That should have been enough to keep him going forever, but cancer is a fucking bitch.  The world will miss Lemmy in a small way, and the Motorhead fans know there's no replacing that man in any way.

If Tamir Rice Had Been A White Kid, Or Cliven Bundy, He Would Be Alive Today

Jesus sez: Black lives don't fucking matter.  White kid?  BB gun?  No problem.  White guy with a loaded gun drunk in the street?  You're good.  Crazy white assholes threatening Feds with guns?  Fine.  Black kid?  Dead.  Don't like it?  Fuck you.

Establishment Democrats Are As Worthless As Trump On Healthcare--Or Anything

This fool--and Obama and the Democratic Party--has the problem that he is willing to accept something horrible, Obamacare, because it was the best they could do. 

Fine.

Might even be true in a sense.

Whatever.

But the bigger problem has been the Democratic Party problem since FDR: the effectively right-wing core of the Democratic Party has never been in favor of any sort of universal health care and has never done anything to promote any sort of universal health care.  There have been activists associated with the party in favor of Single Payer or National Health, but the party itself has been actively working against universal healthcare all along.

No, it was not going to happen overnight regardless, but if the Democratic Party had not been a right-wing or center right party since FDR and had been working toward true universal healthcare the past 70 years, any political work, say under Obama in his first term, would have been truly productive because it would not have been starting from scratch.

The biggest problem is that establishment Dems and their wannabes always put party and personality and personal privilege over any policy which might be rightly or wrongly associated with true liberalism or left(ish)-wing politics or...

That's your exceptional American Democratic Party at work. 

There's No Way A YouTube Video Nominally Defending Scott Grove Should Be This Entertaining

But it is.  It's pretty fucking funny.  This clip is not really about Scott Grove or tonewoods or any of that horseshit.  It's more about having a bit of fun of with ass clowns in general and one ass clown in particular.  It's only 20 minutes. 

Santa And The Vintage Modified Jazzmaster

If you're around 12 or so and in need of your first full-size guitar this year sometime and Santa brings you one of these fuckers, you are pretty gods-damned stoked.  This thing, the Squier Vintage Modified Jazzmaster, is fucking sweet and at 225 bucks brand new is really fucking cheap.  Nice, though.  Real nice.  Sounds pretty good and feels really substantial.  Stupid bargain.  Everyone needs one.  If it said Fender on it, nobody would ever guess the price.  Amazing, really.

This Is Old And Outdated

Times change.  Art endures.  Memory persists, such as it is.  Now we know Lou and J like money more than they dislike each other and Murph is the happiest fucking guy in the gods-damned world.

Alex Kingston Was Excellent As River Song This Year

Yes, the character was butchered as the show went on and whatever vague idea someone had got discarded or forgotten, and, yes, this year's special was pretty fucking sloppy at times, but Alex Kingston was wonderful as River Song.  Capaldi was also on it even when the script was not--his joy at seeing River and his very meta version of the 'it's bigger on the inside' riff were just right, and they even got a mention of Stephen Fry in there.  If this was the last of River Song on the show, the character was sent off with a purportedly happy 24 year long last night with her Doctor.  Now it's back to business next year with Steven Moffat continuing to diminish the possibility of decent storytelling within the Doctor Who concept.  Fantastic.

If America Has A Team, It Is Green Bay

In the NFL.  It sure as shit ain't Dallas or fucking Washington or Miami or New England or the Giants.  Everything many some of the things utterly awful about the NFL are a bit less awful with the Packers.  That said, it is incredibly entertaining watching A A Ron getting obliterated and the rest of the Packers getting dismantled by fucking Arizona today.

And The Cowboys Lost

All in all, this is a decent NFL day in America.  Free-dumb!  Free-DUMB!!

Luck Ran Out For The Panthers

Not great today.  Yes, the loss makes it more likely they will win the Super Bowl, but it would have been better to be 11-1 and win out the rest of the way than to stumble late in the season and not get completely back on track in time for the playoffs.  We'll see.

The Patriots Love America Today

Genius.  I guess jesus decided the Jets needed a mini miracle today, so all is right with America after another embarrassing Patriots loss.

Been Beyond

Slimy Bob's Guitar Ripoff

J Mascis is weird as fuck.  That tacky purple Jazzmaster is friggin' sweet, though--and not at all a fan of the looks of the current Squier white & gold thing.

This Christmas, Let's Not Forget The Real Enemies Of Christians And Christmas

Jews.  That's right, Jews.  They not only hate christians, they are exterminating the entire white race.  What?  You say white isn't a race?  You are wrong.  The Jews are want to kill all good white people, and, like Cylons, they have a plan. 

I am the Republican Man of the Year.

This Is Not The Day And It Never Will Be The Day

This Happens Every Year

Someone else tossing their two cents in on 'Fairytale of New York'.  This is the real reason for the season.  Everybody does it because why not?  Every sensitive poet, awkward nerd, self-styled troubadour, Irish rake, sloppy bar singer, and every other idiot in the civilized world has something dumb or something hackneyed or something candid to say about the fucking thing.  And in 1000 years that song will be known for the wonder it has always been.

Virag's Movie Reviews: Furious 7 (2015)

There is not really just one single dumbest movie ever, but Furious 7 is clearly that dumbest movie ever.  The best you can say for the entire series is that they are upping the inanity strongly with each new one.  Furious 7 was okay for the first half or so before it got really boring, and it was kinda fun watching almost all the bad acting in the universe collected into one flick.  The second half dragged on quite a bit with only Jason Statham making an effort till the end.  Zombie Paul Walker turns out to be every bit the actor as pre-dead Paul Walker, so there is no good reason not to have in the next ones.  At times it looked like they were having fun making the thing, but all the really awful special effects and pointless idiocy grew tiresome after an hour of such abuse.  Apparently we can look forward to more Snake Plissken in the next couple. 

Matt Forney: Misogynist Creep, Pathetic Loser And Chronic Masturbator

What the actual fuck is wrong with these weird conservative losers?  I mean besides being weird conservative losers.  All of them are sad, small men who pretend to be robust cocksmen when their every word betrays them as risible premature ejaculators and ignorant jerk-offs who would run screaming from an actual live human woman.  And they are to a man all puerile conservatives and piss-ant racists.  Where do these idiots come from?  It's really fucking telling that the exceptional America is chock full of these exceptionally pathetic losers.  I guess we know who is eagerly looking forward to licking Trump's scrotum in the primaries. 

The Truth About Christmas

It's only for Americans.  White Americans.  Rich white Americans.  Fox "News" viewers.  Republican voters.  The makers not the takers.  They are the people jesus loves.  The only people jesus loves.  No immigrants.  No poors.  Black.  Brown.  Yellow.  No dirt people.  Only the good people, the elect.  Christmas is theirs.  I am the Republican Man of the Year.

An Exceptional American Christmas Story

Fired, then not, because people got angry.  Angry that a hungry kid was perhaps not sufficiently shamed for being hungry.  Angry that food was not wasted and instead given to a kid who didn't have the $1.70 on them.  Angry because those little fuckers weren't born in Cobb County like jesus was to a solid upper-class American family.  Angry because those moochers are always stealing food that would have been thrown in the fucking garbage.  Angry that taxes have to go to feeding children instead of enriching the deserving people.  All that anger got that commie lunch bitch fired, but then some pussies pussied out and offered her the job back.  Bastards. 

Shitting On Dimwit Mini Missionaries Is Easy And Fun

Not hard.  But America and freedumb would be much better off if we spent way more time pointing and laughing at these sanctimonious fools who think they so much better than other people because they do some stupid worthless shit in the name of jesus or some shit.  These people are assholes--they are wasting their time and money and not helping anyone in order to benefit their moronic egos.  Time to shine a light on these cocksuckers and let them know how stupid they are. 

Merry Christmas You Guntard Motherfuckers

This is fucking wonderful.  Every asshole with a gun killing at least two innocent children is an exceptional American NRA holiday tradition!  This is America and we have FREE DUMB.

Christmas Eve In The Drunk Tank

Sing Yer Life

Carol Ng Season

Boys Town

Girlz Girlz Girlz

Virag's Movie Reviews: Jurassic World (2015)

Imagine if the owners of a long-standing movie franchise whose fortunes had deteriorated with each successive film had decided to commission a tawdry and unimaginative, ultimately brainless rehash of the popular, original flick--point for point, at times almost scene for scene--in order to reboot the potential to make shitloads of money.  Imagine how lame that would be, especially if it seemed like there were plenty of new things you could do with the main premise.  Why would you do something that fucking stupid?  How badly would that suck?  What's the definition of futility?  Where have the creativity and imagination gone?  No matter how good it looked or how much time was spent on the special effects, how much would it feel like a rip-off?  How do you make an expensive movie even dumber than the people who flock to it with cash in hand?  They could do it with dinosaurs, or anything else, right?  How sad would you be watching it?

Chris Pratt, on the other hand, is looks like he's having a blast phoning in these 0-dimensional action movie cliches in exchange for a handsome check.  The rest of us should be getting the feeling we've been cheated.

History Lesson Part 3B

Good stuff.  Who would have believed that as 2015 blurs into 2016, we have lived through a What the 90s Mean to Me-style redemption and resurrection of Superchunk?  What glory we have witnessed.  What joy we have known.  How we have grown. 

Riddle Of The 8 Es

Political Song for Lindsey Graham to Sing

SC Belle Lindsey Graham Sashays Back To His Closet

Fuck off, ya pansy. Nobody likes you.  Except John McCain, but that's an entirely different story!  Graham was going to get bludgeoned by Trump in his home state, so it was back to the gilded closet with him.  Good riddance. 

Tis The Season

For swimcest and music!  May the gods preserve most of us.

Exceptional American Christian Idiots

Racist Islamophobia isn't just dangerous, it's stupid as fuck.  Christians, especially exceptional American christians, are falling all over themselves pretending that Islam is oh so very different from their own religion.  The christians twist themselves into insane pretzels to claim the old testament and the new but nothing after.  What they cannot allow themselves to admit is that Muslims worship the same god if they SAY they do because it is all bullshit.  The christian rejection of Islam and at times Judaism comes solely from closed minded, ignorant racism for which there is no excuse.  Christianity dominates among religious people in the United States and faiths and beliefs of non-christians represent no threat whatsoever to christians or their primacy in American religious society. 

Martin Shkreli Is A Performance Art Prank

Any day now, we're gonna find out once and for all that "Martin Shkreli" is in fact a years-long project in epic trolling.  Maybe not as silly as "Donald Trump" but equally comical, this character of Martin Shkreli will go down as the most humor America has had since the Koch brothers.

What In The Holy Heck Is 'UP TV'?

Really fucking creepy.  Okay.  What else?  Fucking demented jesus freak assholes who should be set adrift on an ice flow completely blanketed in bird shit.  That works.

14-0 Panthers

Are probably not gonna win their last game.  It is better to be 10-0, then 11-1, and win out than to be 16-0 and then losing in the post season.  It's so hard to not drop a game in the 16-game regular NFL season in 2015--this isn't the fucking 1970s.  Cam Newton is a real good player and the Panthers are real good this year, but I don't see them being undefeated after the Super Bowl.

Spirits Of Da Season

At Least The Cowboys Lost

Everything sucks and shit, Trump, assholes, guns, but you take the good stuff when you can, and the Cowboys losing on a Saturday night in December is pretty fucking okay.  Fucking America's exceptional team of losers.

Ultimate Improbability: Utah Is The Most Popular College Basketball Team In The World

Anything and everything Utah in general is usually complete fucking garbage in every conceivable way, but, amazingly enough, today Utah became the most popular college basketball team in the world because they beat the heinous Duke.  That's is easily the least probable eventuality in the history of the universe.  Runnin' Utes is still the dumbest fucking name ever.

Susana Martinez Is The Perfect Veep For Donald Trump

She's a blast.  I think she'll add the perfect amount of pointless frivolity to the Trump campaign, plus she's a womens and an hispandex Republican to prove Trump adores the ladies and employs the Latin types.  Really, Martinez, in a sane world with functional Republican candidates, should be a good pick for a creepy fucker like Trump, and if this drunken inanity has ruined her chances, who the fuck fits the lady Republican governor suit for Trump?  Nikki Haley?  That's a bad thing for Trump.

Holiday Song

Non-Carbon Chinese Garbage Is Coming For You, Guitar Edition

If it wasn't a completely shitty thing to do, I would be all over a couple of those fake Rics in tastelessly goofy colors just for fun.  These rip-offs are big business, just like the garbage plastic Chinese bikes.  Pretty fucking scary unbelievable that you get this shit drop-shipped right to your door.  Apparently some of the Les Paul fakes are completely bonkers with made-up serial numbers and 'Made in U.S.A.' markings but Epiphone branded hardware.  That's nuts.

FWIW, I agree with video fella that Rickenbacker should have a lower-priced line of their famous guitars to compete better with the legion of outright counterfeits.

Marco Rubio Is Not Ever Getting Elected To Anything Nationally

And everyone with half a brain has known this forever--but if the Republicans want to believe that Rubio is a viable national candidate for any post higher than assistant dog catcher in Amarillo, Texas, that's great for everybody else.  Rubio is an albatross every bit as heavy as Trump or Cruz because he is an utterly awful human being, but even better, he is a shitty campaigner and candidate.  He's never going to appeal to a national audience; even the rock-ribbed Republican voters will never go for him.  He's a turd.  But right now he's maybe not as scary as Trump's petty fascist insanity and Cruz's incoherent snarling.  Fine, just fine, but anyone stuck with Rubio as their nominee is surely voting for an historic loser.  When the next financial scandal or mistress or Vitter diaper hooker story blows up, all the good people out there will have something to smile about.  Let's hope that about a month after Rubio gets the Republican nomination. 

Maddow's Going Fucking Crazy On The Water Situation In Flint, Michigan

Rachel Maddow has been going off on the shit show in Flint, MI over their municipal water system.  Tonight she's savaging the Snyder administration and the appointed City Manager over their complete fucking incompetence.  Lead in the water is not something exceptional Americans should have to put up with in the 21st century.  This is your Republican Party at work.

What's funny is that Detroit still has pretty decent water quality, and Flint was essentially poisoned by the Republicans.  That's fucking brilliant.  Kudos to Maddow for hitting this story so hard.  She sounds pretty steamed over this and is being really nasty about Governor Syder and his snivelling venality.  Too bad she's on MSNBC on a Friday night the week before christmas. 

Who The Fuck Put Debbie Wasserman Schultz In Charge Of Anything?

The Clintons, at least in part.  But the big problem is she's a fucking idiot, and she looks like a fucking dope on the tee vee.  Plus, if she's gonna try and torpedo the Sanders campaign, she needs to be a tiny bit clever.  The more she opened her mouth today, the dumber she sounded.  And she's in fucking charge of the DNC.  The way Wasserman Schultz has been guiding this entire campaign cycle has done nothing but diminish the stature of the Democratic Party as a whole--Saturday night debates; marginalizing of anyone not named Hillary Rodham Clinton.  She's not helping Clinton with this bush-league inanity, and if Clinton in fact can'--and won't, as the last time--win the nomination, Wasserman Schultz is fucking the entire Democratic party.  Genius.

Rickenbacker Bass Fisking

These videos threaten to break out into a full-on Mr. Plinkett shitfit at any moment but never quite get there.  It is some fine Rickenbacker fisking, though, from a solid Fender fan.  Rics get all the hate from all over, but damn, they often sound so good.  There are many valid points about all the problems in the Rickenbacker design and execution articulated by plenty of folks for many years, but in the right hands, the Rickenbacker bass sound is so amazingly perfect.  Of course, a mid-priced Ibanez SR bass sounds pretty fucking good too--and packs a real punch per dollar--if you don't want the same old Precision or Jazz bass that all the other kids have.  A decent Fender Jazz can be something special, too, and the Ric and Fender Jazz bass were supposedly direct competitors. 

All the Roger Glover fluffing is pretty fucking randomly hilarious in 2015.

Trump And Putin Are The Leaders We Deserve

These two fuckwits should take their show on the road to carnivals and county fairs across America and give every exceptional American the high-calorie funfetti they truly deserve.  That's about all we could want since we certainly don't want either of those assholes making policy for anyone anywhere.  We're stuck with Putin for a while, though, but in no danger whatsoever of a very public and enthusiastic Trump/Putin jerkoff festival with both of those clowns leading their respective countries. 

But what if?  What if Trump becomes the Chancellor President of Exceptionally Glorious America and decides he and Putin are really great buddies?  Or what if the Chancellor President Trump discovers that Putin is dirty rotten Russkie and decides to take him out?  I'm not sure which would be a bigger fucking shit show, but I'm afraid we won't get to enjoy it either way.

Putin's relatively harmless, to the U.S. anyway, unless we start to support and enable him.  That's what Putin wants in Syria right now, and apparently what he hopes for from Chancellor President Trump in 2017. 

And 'The Expanse'

The Expanse looked a little bit familiar--that's the SyFy production values for you, but it also looked a tiny bit more considered than the last few SyFy sci-fi shows.  I have not read the books, but I know that the hard-ish science fiction motif goes way the fuck off the rails fairly quickly, and I wonder how closely the series will follow the plot of the alien shit.  Will it turn into an American version of Blake's 7, with the crew fighting bad guys human AND alien from any and all sides or will they go with a more cut-and-dried exceptional human bug-hunt plot if the show goes on for more than a half-dozen episodes?  Not sure, but for now, they are doing all they can to work on the world-building and character development in the three individual stories unfolding at once.  For now, the bit of thought shows, and this is better than either Dark Matter or Killjoys, and the whole shebang might be proof SyFy is making an effort to not completely suck AND blow in every conceivable way.  We'll see, I guess.

'Childhood's End' Was Not What It Should Have Been

Compressing the story was probably the cause, but the show was too shallow for the story they were attempting to tell.  I think the three movies with three different casts and three different directors would have been a much better call.  Tywin was fine as Karellen, even if the costume was a little cartoony, but the rest of the actors had too little to do.  I guess they did the best they could considering the limitations of the production, but the novel is about history and transcendence while the show wasn't at all.  The ending seemed sadder than it should have because of the short time with which humanity was living with the Overlords.  Tee vee Milo probably would have taken the opportunity to go off exploring with Karellen since that was his whole life and he was not especially invested in the last generation of man; since he was also really into his girlfriend, he probably would have convinced her to go with him at first, so they would have had reason to leave Earth; the characters in the book had completely different backgrounds and motivations.  Perhaps the book is and always was unfilmable, so what we got was the best we were ever going to get anyway.

What SyFy did is buy themselves some real excitement by tackling Childhood's End in an effort to put the science fiction back into their programming.  That's not nothing, and maybe it will lead to more and better in the future.  Or not.  I think they're part of NBC and Comcast, so...

A Good Doctor

The Paris Climate Talks Were Never Going To Solve Anything

Paris was a political exercise.  And nothing more.  Nothing those governments would actually agree to do was going to help.  At all.  There are far too many people chasing too few resources generating way too much pollution.  The technology does not exist to allow the next two billion people in the developing world to consume and pollute at the level of the last two billion people without turning the planet into a boiling toxic hellhole.  And there's no way the developed nations would agree to take any action which would threaten energy sector short-term profits.  It's fine to trim along the edges in order to make it look good as they did in Paris, but the prospect of unrestrained growth is what will doom any hope of controlling climate change effectively.  At best, the wealthiest nations will deal as best they can to mitigate the suffering of the wealthiest citizens while the rest of the world is effectively helpless.  The upside is that the loss of habitable land and the explosion of deadly new diseases will do a great deal to lower the human population. 

Chinese Carbon Garbage Is Coming For You

What. The. Fuck.?  This is fucking nuts, man.  The factories in China have created a front to shill their generic bike stuff in America.  Genius.  Or evil.  Either way, this is the wave of the future--facilitating the direct sale of this unbranded garbage to the consumer in the U.S.  I guess it works if you are buying solely on price and don't want or need the protection of a brand-name decal.  It's fuckin' weird, though.  If buying that shit off the back of the truck in China gets too transparent, it'll take all the fun out of it.

Was That Bob Roll On 'Childhood's End'?

I was working so not paying too much attention, but I coulda sworn that one of the bit parts was Bobke.  I stopped and looked and saw that it wasn't, but damn, that woulda made the whole show way cooler to put Mr. Roll in it.  Oh, well.  From the bits I saw, the second episode didn't work as well as the first one, but I will watch it complete when I get the chance in case I missed something decent.

'Childhood's End' Was A Little Flat And Lightweight

The first 90 minutes were not bad, but the whole thing felt a little off and insubstantial.  I'm not a fan of the fact that they are keeping the same actors for the whole story and compressing the timeline into a single generation.  That's a huge mistake--plus you waste Chief O'Brien if you don't keep him along with everyone else, as Meaney seemed to be having the most fun.  If the three day, two-hour broadcast time each episode thing was the plan all along, then it would have been much better to make the show essentially three 90-minute movies, each with its own cast, director, and part of the complete story.  That would have made it a bit easier to add some substance to the momentous changing supposedly taking place during the story.  I get that it was a risk to adapt the book at all, but the whole enterprise looks a little flat and rushed on the screen.  Plus, Tywin's Karellen is waayyy too human-looking in the face.  I get that they didn't want to bury Charles Dance under a shit ton of make-up or prosthetics, because then why bother getting Charles Dance, but too human made Karellen look more like a bad costume or Tim Curry.

Sandy Hook Day!

American exceptionalism at work!  Three years, 1095 days, since the murder of 20 school kids and six adults, and America has done exactly nothing to prevent it happening again.  Australia took 12 days.  Exceptional America's had over a thousand, but we still have a mass shooting every day.  That's what any fucking complete moron would call exceptional!

Time Enough For

Colm Meany's Rupert Murdoch Turn On 'Childhood's End' Is Pretty Neat

Chief O'Brien is chewing the scenery as complete reactionary bastard/Rupert Murdoch's unhinged, cocksucking Irish half-brother on the tee vee tonight, and he sure seems to be enjoying himself.  Not exactly subtle, though.  Good thing Murdoch is probably too senile to watch the tee vee.

(The hotel room and monolith riffs are pretty fucking funny, too.)

Why Aren't We Talking More About The ISIS War On Christmas

The liberal media is censoring the truth!!  San Bernardino was the first shot of ISIS declaring war on jesus and christmas and America.  First the liberals declared war on christmas.  Now it's ISIS.  If not for the liberal media all of America would know the truth!

Political Song for the Republican Party to Sing

Marine Le Pen's Dancing Daze

France's National Front Disco Closed For Renovations

The fascists were looking for a big win after the Paris attack, but Marine LePen couldn't close the deal because the Frogs are not quite as fucking stupid as most Americans.  And the politicians were smart to use their combined leverage to undo the plans of the Front National and deny them any wins.  Good.  Better than the alternative.  And it fucking sucks that the politics in the USA are so fucking demented that we can't expect anything nearly as beneficial as what the Frogs pulled off.  That's some American exceptionalism right there.

Trump's Polling The GOP Harder Every Day

New high nationally.  Not that national polls are the most important thing in the world given our electoral system, but when Trump polls ever higher despite, well, everything about Trump, the Republican party gets more fucked.  What the fuck is the GOP gonna do when Trump has an overwhelming level support of the actual Republican primary voters?  How will they be able to maintain any sense of sanity or inclusiveness with Trump puking up racist horseshit non stop as his support only grows?  I don't know, but I'm pretty fucking psyched to watch the carnage.

When The Pitchforks Come Out, Nobody's Gonna Step In And Save The Koch Brothers

Nope.  A few people might get lucky and escape their fate when the peasants finally catch a clue and decide it's gonna be a big ole pitchforks and torches party for the 1% in the U.S.A., but not the Koch brothers.  Nobody's gonna have any desire to risk a poke or a burn to save those assholes.  They're gonna be on their own, and there's no way it is gonna end well for them.  If they are extremely lucky, after the fires are out and the pitchforks get sharpened and put up for next time, some former Koch-sucker will offer the bros a valuable coupon for a free ham sandwich or something and some free advice on how to make a comfy bed out of leaves and garbage. 

Oh, Yeah, Turkey Shot Down That Russian Plane

But none since--some attitudes musta changed.  Or something.  One thing neither the US or Russian can allow is Turkey acting unilaterally to torpedo whatever the settlement of the future of Syria winds up being.  The Americans and the Russians believe they can reach an agreement which will preserve both of their abilities to protect their interests in Syria and beyond--but that agreement will probably be a fine line for both sides.  If the Turks or anyone else fuck that up, then everybody is likely all kinds of fucked and the "war" on "ISIS" becomes much worse for the civilians trapped on the ground in short order.  While ISIS is not a threat to anyone much beyond a radius of a few miles, an unending war in Syria and Iraq and Turkey is exactly what will be the nightmare scenario for everyone who wants the oil with a minimum of hassle.  Look for the US and Russia to come to an agreement to stabilize everything not ISIS in the area, including Syria, Turkey, and the Kurds, in order to both facilitate oil extraction and put an end to civil wars enabling ISIS.

And Of Course, This Idiot J Marvin Herndon

Expect to see his ground-breaking theory of how immigrants cause earthquakes on Fox "News" any day now.  Herndon is a fucking nutjob, full of shitloads of pseudo-scientific horseshit  meant to confuse and confound the helpless and hopeless.  It's not just chemtrails and climate change and shit like that, either.  Herndon is full-service conspiracy theory loon library.

Climate Change? Nonsense! Chemtrails ARE Killing Us RIGHT NOW

Thanks Obama!  Why won't anyone protect from the real threat: chemtrails.  Worse than ISIS.  Worse than Democrats.  Worse than taxes!  Chemtrails are destroying America.

Into The Pool

Moon 1

Demented Reactionary Shitstains Of The Day, Today

Exceptional American lunatics.  This is our past, our present, and our future in the U.S.A.  These sorry bastards are Trump's people.  They're fucking crazy, violent, ignorant, and racist.  They're rock-ribbed Republicans.  They are utter fools who are in control of one of our conservative political parties, and they are corroding our society every fucking day.  People this deranged cannot participate in politics in any useful way, and the U.S. has run out of time.  The decent Americans can no longer wait for ignorance and superstition to fade on their own.  America needed education and culture and economic vitality long ago to prevent the spread of the venal ignorance bought and paid for by the corporate conservative movement.  Now we're fucked.  There are too many ignorant, hateful, racist, frightened, impotent, and economically damaged reactionary citizens sabotaging our American union.  Our politics cannot fight gun terrorism at home and cannot fight primitive religious fundamentalism anywhere.  Any kind of functioning society would be able to address these and other important issues in at least some reasonable fashion.  Not in America.  Not now.  America is broken and cannot be repaired.  Trump's merely an infected, oozing pustule on the ass of a puke-covered, piss-stained wino choking in the gutter of a bombed-out city. 

The Real Ed's Ohio Hammer

There's Another Ed From Ohio, And He's Evil

EdFromOhio: bad.  Nasty.  Creepy.

The real ed fROMOHIO: fucking awesome.

So Fucking Dumb

Jesus.  These idiots are no fucking better than Pat Robertson or Ben Carson.  Not as nasty and violent, but in the end just as stupid and unhelpful.

1 Boy 1 Head

Is Chipotle's Business Model Still 'Less Disgusting Than Taco Bell'?

How's that working out for 'em?  Because, if in reality you're charging a hefty premium for the same level of gross as Taco Bell, that's not a key to success.  Chipotle wants to position itself as a cool place to eat or whatever, but jesus frakking christ, they're fucked after all this discomfort and uncontrollable shitting going on, atmo.  Don't look for a return of the Chipotle cycling team any time soon.  Just as well.

Who Do You Think Runs The Mekons' Twitter?

Gotta be a kid, a teenager, probably somebody in the band's kid.  Or is this a thing subcontracted to a record company intern or even a fan?  I don't know, but it's not nearly as entertaining as it should be.  Or at all.  You got birbs tweeting better.  Also too this guy.  Maybe he's got the twitter machine duties for The Mekons.

Not A Fucking Peep On Fox "News" About Arnold Schwarzenegger

And his climate rant.  That's weird!  Because they are usually all about right-wing and Republican actors and shit.  I wonder why?  I guess it will always remain some sorta mystery, like the fucking pyramids. 

"Gun Rights" And The NRA Are Inherently Racist

"Gun rights" are all about white supremacy and exceptional American racism.  When the guntards and NRA stooges stand up for concealed carry or fully-automatic military weapons or personal nuclear warheads to help you stand your ground, those pyscho fuckheads are standing up for whites only.  The deranged gun owners in the USA are certainly all racist and paranoid cowards, and when they dream of protecting themselves, they are dreaming of killing black and brown people in the finest traditions of the Klan and the Confederacy and their proud legacy of exceptional American racism.

Antonin Scalia: Supreme Court Affirmative Action For Fucking Morons

Without an Affirmative Action program to put syphilitic morons on the Supreme Court, Scalia never would have made it--he needed a slower track for racist shitheads with severe reading comprehension problems.  And even better, Scalia has outed himself as wannabe general counsel of the KKK.  Always as dumb as a fucking rock, racist Scalia is at least 50 times more hilarious than the merely stupid Scalia.  With his idiot brothers Thomas, Alito, and Roberts, Antonin Scalia is one of the best reasons why every decent, gods-fearing exceptional American should pledge allegiance to Andrea Thomas on Facebook today! 

So, Erick Erickson's Mother Is Not As Big An Asshole As He Is

Go figure.  Erickson's mother didn't even try to pretend that he was anything other than a complete fucking racist lying piece of shit.  That's cold.  You gotta be a pretty yuge gods-damned jerkoff if your fucking mom don't have your back.  This shit could almost make you feel sorry for Erick Erickson being outed as a fatuous liar.  Almost.  And besides, that woman named him Erick Erickson, so she's gotta have all kinds of fucking problems.

Pictures Of fIREHOSE

How Do You Know You've Spent Maybe Too Much Time On Deck?

You're this guy.  I mean, he seems passionate and reasonably well-considered when it comes to swimming, but I bet he comes across as completely fried in person.  Or least he could.  Sometimes.  Maybe it's a Canadian thing, but that crazed look from all the chlorine and all the time spent staring at lumpy potatoes flopping around in the pool year after year takes its toll.  That blog?  That blog reads like that look looks.  And he's got a friend.  Yeesh. 

Today's Dumbest Motherfucker On The Planet

This assface.  The thought of climate change making more people desperate, potentially violent, refugees is either way too scary or way too logical for mush-headed teabaggers and other reactionary fuckwits to understand.  Their blinding and comical ignorance is not gonna change anything, though, so everyone with more than a brace of functional neurons should count out the Republicans and their nitwit voters when it comes time to actually do something to address the problems.  American Exceptionalism!

Addle-Headed Reactionary Nutjobs Of The Day, Today

Fuckin' crazy, paranoid, scared shitless, ignorant, hilariously ill-informed, wrong-headed, creepy, hateful, exceptional American assholes.  For fun, note where the fringiest of the fringe curls all the way around and bumps briefly into reality, but on the whole, these sorry bastards are nothing more than dangerously stupid and gullible dickheads.  Whether it's vaccines or chemtrails or risible libertarian horseshit or top-tier bugfuck guntard insanity, exceptional Americans are irredeemable reactionary shitstains.

Home Slice'd

Jerry Falwell, Jr.: Exceptional American Fucktard

Jerry Falwell Jr.'s only possible functional is to make Jerry Falwell seem somehow less disgusting in comparison.  But think about the bullshit empire his daddy built stealing money from pathetic idiots at Liberty University!  American Exceptionalism at work!  Though I do think Falwell and Todd Starnes make a cute log-cabin Republican couple.

Cowboys At Washington Is A Screaming Cry To All The Gods For A Final, Glorious Divine Smiting

This will be the final proof that all the gods are fictional creations.  If the gods who love us so fucking much do not deliver a mighty smiting to the Cowboys versus Washington game tonight, we are truly alone in cold and godless universe.

Jesus, Chuck Woolery Is A Stupid Motherfucker

What a fucking reject that wrinkly old teabagging cockbag is!  How the fuck does he manage to wipe his own ass?

Jan's Brady

ISIS Is Still Not A Threat To The USA

ISIS was no threat last week or last year no threat tomorrow.  ISIS cannot do a single thing to threaten the United States, and we cannot go to war with them--they have no army, no planes, no missiles, no nukes.  The only way America would fight ISIS would be if we were dumb enough to invade Syria and Iraq.  Again. The best ISIS can do is terrorize defenceless people in Syria and Iraq whose societies have been obliterated and cheer on mundane murderers in Europe and America.  Nothing ISIS can do is any threat to the existence of the United States.  Or the borders of the United States.  Or our sovereignty.  Or our way of life.  ISIS is almost exactly as a big threat to Americans as chemtrails are.  Any Americans who are scared of ISIS are yuge pussies.  If Americans wanted to confront the real terrorists and make the US a safer society, they would shut down the NRA, follow the 2nd Amendment as written, and disarm the police.  ISIS has no chance of hurting the USA, but Americans have created their own hell on Earth all on their own.

The Iggles Are The Gods' Favorites AND America's Team (This Week)

Well, that was pretty fucking cool right there.  In Foxborough, too, making it extra fucking sweet.  This is the moment for the stupid Carolina Panthers and Cam Newton.  No Denver, Green Bay to steal the limelight right now.  Of course, an undefeated team in the regular season has almost no chance of going on to win their final game, but right now, the Panthers are the tip top of the NFL.  Now, if the gods who love us so fucking much can arrange ANOTHER loss for the Patsies this season...

Ted Cruz: Teenage Dirtbag

Still a fucking titanic shitstain 2015, but even better somehow, poor Ted Cruz was a real fucking repellent loser already by the time he hit Princeton.  That kinda makes you understand that nobody liking him in the 21st is the same as it ever was.  His roommate from freshman year, Craig Mazin, should probably be appointed as a senior Congressional liaison by President Trump if for no other reason than it would make both parties do an even better job of hating Ted Cruz's rotten, stinking guts, since the only group that hates Ted Cruz more than most Americans is the motherfucking GOP.  A man who such an enormous fucking creep that the he can't even make single friend in his own party when his own party is a group as nasty and evil as the Republicans is not going to nominated to anything in 2016. 

The New York Times Musta Been Pissed At The Daily News Being A Real Paper

Front page editorial after 95 years.  Mee-ow.  The Daily News has been all over the NRA terrorism story this past week, and the Times must have been feeling a little left out.  Most days in 2015 there's no good papers in New York, but what the fuck are we gonna do if there are TWO real papers on this story at least?  Holy motherfrakking sheet.

Yes, I Think That Is An Aftermarket Long Cage For That Nuovo Record

A little too plain, I thinks, and possibly a bit too shiny, but it is hard to tell without handling.  Regardless, it is fun make the Rally out of a genuine Nuovo Record.  All the style with shifting that is just not very good, atmo, but the rig is solid and barring accidents will last for the next thousand big-mile years.

Dead Cat, Swing, Fucking Religious Whack Job, Strike

Sometimes those fundie loons are shooting up something and sometimes they're not, but that doesn't make them any less weird.  The religious extremists really are everywhere, though.  I guess that when they're NOT committing mass murder and merely being disgusting degenerates, we should all be grateful.

Free-Dumb's Last Outpost

Not really, unfortunately, but with such luminary intellects as Pam Geller in the ranks, the dumb is flowing really fucking free with those unhinged, reactionary, racist teabaggers at that outpost.

Ted Rall Delivers A Jolly Fisking Of Mark Zuckerberg

Turning yourself into a charity is a very handy skill for a billionaire.  Real charity doesn't involve controlling the donations for your own use, and even the not-at-all-real charity of the public library or hospital wing generally does something good beyond fluffing up the undies of the giver, but Zuckerberg is simply a fucking shithead.  And Rall has an easy bit of fun with him.  True charity is very rare and is almost always the result of gifts by people of modest means.  When a billionaire donates to charity, the reasons have nothing to with generosity or good will, and Zuckerberg is simply following in the footsteps of astounding assholes with names like Rockefeller and Mellon and Carnegie.

Trump's Polling The GOP

36% and 20 points ahead of the number 2 loser, Ted Cruz.  Trump's polling the Republicans wicked fucking hard, and that sound you hear is GOP skulls being polled this very minute in GOP eye sockets.  Trump has 36% and Jeb Bush has 3%.  Christie is at 4%.  That's some serious hate-polling.  This is a great time to be alive, unless you work for the Republican Party.  Then it's a really shitty time to be alive.  By the time Trump is done with 'em, the Republican Party will be nothing but a nasty, small-minded, reactionary, ignorant, racist memory. 

Are Pledges To ISIS On Facebook Legally Binding?

If you make a pledge to ISIS on Facebook, are you legally bound to serve out the term of the pledge?  Will ISIS send some ISIS people to drag you away?  Will ISIS send a strongly-worded letter?  Will ISIS sue you to enforce the pledge?  Is it possible to send someone else to honor the pledge in your place?  Does ISIS have an official Pledge of Allegiance?  I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united caliphate of ISIS and to the caliph for which it stands one nation under god indivisible with liberty and justice for all.  That would be weird.

If San Bernardino Is Terrorism, So Was Colorado Springs

And every mass shooting.  IF you want one to be terrorism, then they all are.  It makes no sense to limit terrorist shootings only the people we don't like.  If you're gonna the Muslim murderous asshole a terrorist, then the christian mass murderer is a terrorist, too.

Even better, instead of treating mass murdering NRA-enabled exceptional American Patriots like Syed Farook and Robert Dear as terrorists, let's treat them like fucking killers.  That's what they are.  What they do are crimes.  Treat them properly and maybe we stand a chance of stopping the carnage.  Crime fighting does not involve wars against imaginary enemies.  Fighting crime is straightforward, at least when compared to the insanity of invasion, war, and occupation.  Start with getting rid of the guns.

That's not helpful to right-wing politicians and media dickheads, though.  Imaginary enemies and ludicrous existential threats are much better for those fuckers.

Prayer Shaming Is The Greatest Thing To Happen To America Ever!

Fuck, yeah! Take the fools and hypocrites and rub their noses in their own rancid shit.  This is exactly what America needs now--calling out all the dipshits and liars and reactionary fuckwits and guntard terrorists for their worthless prayer and bullshit platitudes.  They're soft-headed twits and they're evil, and they will never do anything to stop the slaughter.  Fuck Emma Green and every single other superstitious moron out there!  Green is an addle-headed lunatic and people like her are retarding every facet of American society.  The ignorant and the evil reactionary Republican loons are scared of this possibility--the possibility that finally the rotten and ignorant right-wing assholes will finally be laughed at as they deserve and marginalized right out of the American discourse.  Watch that asshole Chuck Todd and the loathsome Andrea Mitchell Greenspan and the fatuous Republican ass-clown Ron Fournier clutch their pearls because someone dared to tell the truth about our worthless politicians and their disgusting "prayers"--fucking lovely.  Todd and Mitchell and Fournier are as much the problem as the fucking NRA.

The right-wing political establishment, both Dems and Republicans, uses bullshit "prayers" to distract from their inability to solve the problem of NRA-sponsored murder in the USA.  Australia did it; every other civilized country has done it, but the United States is completely unable to deal with reality.  The political system in the U.S. is broken--ignore their nonsense about "prayer".  These politicians are not praying.  Most or all of them are not religious at all but simply pandering to the bugfuck ignorant jesus-fluffing shitheads who vote for them.  They're hypocrites and they are evil.

At least one Senator gets it, atmo.

Prayer has never helped anything and never will help anything.  There are no gods out there to answer your whimpering weakling's prayers, and the sooner America admits that, the better.

What The Fuck Is Going On With The Daily News And Mort Zuckerman?

Keep it up on this gun shit, though, assholes.  Zuckerman and his paper are not gonna make many friends in the teabagger, NRA-guntard, jesus-fluffer set with this kinda talk!  But if that vile piece of shit can take his Daily News--or simply allow it--and use that paper as a cudgel against the horrible right-wing culture of primitive ignorance in the United States, well, that fuckin' rocks!

Yesterday's Other NRA-Sponsored Terrorism

Only one dead, though, so it lacks the bloody sexiness of San Bernardino, and it's not like they got to pile up a couple of dozen dead school children for the cameras, so nobody gives a fuck, but this is another murder brought to you by the exceptional American Patriot terrorists at the National Rifle Association.

And Houston, but if you can only manage to kill one, you're a fucking loser and will never get that thank-you note from Wayne LaPierre.

Syed Farook Says: "I Am The NRA"

Syed Farook was an exceptional American NRA terrorist.  What a great country we have where some asshole wants to shoot up his company christmas party, and luckily the exceptional American terrorist organization, the NRA, has made it possible for that lunatic guntard to do just that!  Imagine what a shitty country this would be if Farook had not been able to kill 14 people but instead had to have a couple of drinks and insult his douchebag coworkers or maybe throw a punch.  THAT would be a country for pussies!  Not the manly country the NRA has built in America where every fucking lunatic asswhipe can easily get a fuckload of guns and ammunition so they can kill innocent people without breaking a sweat.  Fuck Yeah!  That's what makes America EXCEPTIONAL!  Violence!  Killing!  Guns!  Free-DUMB!  FREE-DUMB!!

Once again, the decent people out there were saved from even more NRA-enabled terrorism because the two guntards assholes were so stupid that they stayed right in their neighborhood jerking off after their murder party instead of attempting a getaway in order to expand their killing spree.  As usual, we can thank all the gods that criminals are mostly as dumb or dumber than the average exceptional American idiot, so they are pretty easy to catch.  That's something, the exceptional stupidity of the exceptional American guntard murderer.  Thanks, Obama.

Political Song for Syed Farook to Sing

Fox "News" Brought Out Mark Furhman And Bo Dietl To Gin Up The Scary Muslim Angle

Why stop with Furhman and Dietl?  Two of the worst police detectives in the history of law enforcement are vital right now!  Good job, Fox "News"!  Why not bring out a KKK guy in his hood to bolster the street cred?  Or maybe another proud white power teabagger to keep Furhman and Hannity company?  That would be awesome.  Dietl would probably enjoy having Rudy Giuliani and his lisp on with him also!  Donald Trump and Dore Gold could certainly add some important racist lies to the whole thing!  Ben Carson!  Herman Cain!  Come on, Fox, let's get on that shit!

Rahm Emanuel: Obama's Boy In Chicago

Rahm Emanuel is an Obama Democrat.  Remember when Obama gave Emanuel a prominent job in his administration?  He didn't need to that; nobody forced him.  Obama WANTED Emanuel running the show.  Obama and Emanuel are attached at the hip.  Emanuel covered up one particular police murder in Chicago for more than a year for the basest political expedience.  Justice didn't matter.  A dead teenager didn't matter.  Only the next election mattered.  All this from one of Obama's closest political allies.  Remember that the next time some Obama-fluffing entry-level establishment Democrat gets all pissy over Jill Stein or Zephyr Teachout or Bernie Sanders or Ralph Nader or anyone else who dares to point out the reality of Obama or Clinton or Gore.  That's some legit American exceptionalism for ya'. 

And Now The Exceptional American Comedy Not Concerning NRA Terrorism: David Price And The Red Sox

The gods-damned Red Sox are so fucked.  They've agreed to waste more than a fifth of a billion dollars on a pitcher who might just guarantee a better-than-last-place finish--with a Cy Young also a possibility--before two hilarious post-season chokes and a pissy demand for a trade long before the contract is up.  Oh, this is gonna be boo-tee-full!  Fuckin' assholes.

Assholes, Assholes, Assholes, And Upper-Class Twits Everywhere!

Oh, my!  The twits are at it again, with rancid ignorance, mush-headed analysis, general stupidity, and, of course, the vile, racist lying sack of shit out and about to make anything and everything a little bit dumber by his presence.  What can make mass murder even worse for America?  The upper-class twits on the Serotta Forum!

Did Those Proud American Patriot Fuckers In San Bernardino Really Get Away?

Jesus.  That's a frakking mess.  IF those shitbirds got away clean from the shooting, that's a really bad sign because they will be identified sooner rather than later, and then the situation gets ugly pretty damn quick.  As soon as those proudly exceptional "Second Amendment American Patriots" get positively I.D.'d, they become dead men walking with nothing left to live for and everyone around them will be in danger.  Let's hope these particular murderous cocksuckers get cornered in the executive suites of the NRA headquarters and decide to go out the way jesus and Chuckles Heston and Marion "John Wayne" Morrison would want them to and take Wayne LaPierre and all the rest of the traitorous NRA terrorists with 'em.  

Another Exceptional American Mass Shooting

Fucking NRA assholes.  Everyone knows there's nothing worth shooting someone over in San Bernardino.  Early reports of 12 dead, which is squarely in the mass shooting territory.  Anyone with any faith that the U.S. will change because of all the slaughter is a fool.  Mass murder with guns and daily NRA terrorism is American Exceptionalism at work.

Update: Now the reporting is at least 14 dead and 14 injured.

Right now those vile, traitorous criminals and terrorists at the NRA home office are lighting a fucking candle hoping these murderous cocksuckers are identified as Muslims or Buddhists or Scientologists or Hindus or Mormons or ANYTHING other than typical white, racist, evangelical christian, exceptional American guntard patriot psychos. 

White Working-Class Racist Assholes Are Strangling America

The entirety of American history has been an unending campaign to keep poor and working-class white people from identifying with poor and working-class black people.  It was easy when the black people were literal slaves, but once slavery ended, the program continued unabated.  Those fucking stupid-ass racist crackers could never be allowed to recognize their kinship with the working-class non-whites lest the entire ruling order of America be upended permanently in less than a second.  Of course, too many of those dirt-poor whites were way too enthusiastic about hating on the blacks and the browns and pretty much everyone else for way too long.  Too long, as in the destruction of American society is permanent now, and no matter how many racist fuckwits give up their tawdry hate and wish to join with their black brothers in economic self-determinism, it's too late to save the foundations of what's left of American society.  Thanks, Obama.

There's A Reason Why This Asshole Everett Piper Is Not President Of A Real School

He's a fucking idiot.  But Everett Piper is the perfect Ted Cruz voter.  The students who are reflexively calling for limits on speech are certainly as wrong-headed as any teabagging dipshit, but that's not what many of these students are saying.  At all.  They are pissed that so much petty racism and institutional racism is an everyday part of life at their schools.  They are finally speaking up, and that is what both enrages and scares the shit out of the reactionary shitheads in the media, government, and education establishments.  Demanding to be treated fairly is never allowed unless you are in the ruling class.

You gotta feel kinda bad for the real Wesleyan University, though, having a shithole like Oklahoma Wesleyan around making everyone think your good Wesleyan is a place filled with raving jesus-freak fucktards like the Wesleyan in Oklahoma.  Oklahoma Wesleyan is place where the dimwitted shitstain who wrote Heaven Is For Real went.  Heh, indeedy.

Megyn Kelly: Lying Human Garbage

She is a fucking dirtbag.  Megyn Kelly is every bit as creepy and disgusting as Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity.  Those who consider her a voice of reason on Fox "News" are fucking morons.

Retrogrouchy Goodness

Bikes have a long enough history to engender the love of classics.  Retrogrouches will never die, nor should they because they are wicked entertaining.  And really, who doesn't love a sweet, lugged steel frameset with classy and durable 1980's Super Record components and wonderful tubular tires glued on--or even Conti Sprinters, cuz those are still really fucking good for those folks who ride tubulars all the time, though better with that orangeish skinwall.  Expensive plastic shit complete from a bike shop is fine for most people, but for those who know better, the old way will always be the best way.

Political Song for Donald Trump to Sing

Without Manning, The Broncos Ruining The Loathsome Patsies Season Is About The Best We Could Hope For

At least Peyton Manning can't take the credit for fucking up the perfect season of Brady and the rest of those slimy fucks.  And this makes Cam Newton and the Panthers look all the better.  The downside is that a regular-season loss probably makes it slightly more likely the Patriots will win the Super Bowl without the pressure of a perfect season during the playoffs.  Oh, well, you gotta take a good day when you get it and worry about Kraft and his merry band of ambulatory turds later.  We're still praying for the day when the NFL goes bye-bye forever, and we can all live in virtue as the gods and jesus have always intended.

Tis The Season For Hating The TeamUnify Platform

TeamUnify is everywhere--and it sucks major ass!  Every fucking swim team in the galaxy seems to use this shit, and and all the websites are all the same, all generic and all shit.  (No offense to these Stingrays--it's just what came up; they're no better or worse than anyone else.)  And it's not just the dumb local clubs using this garbage.  All the sites are ugly and stupid, and at this time of year, you can't escape the atrocity.  Exceptional American shit.  Thanks, Obama.

Hilarious Scientific American Auto-Fisking

In the comments.  Scientific American shits their own bed and publishes a risible pile of greasy bullshit written by some dumb-as-a-post Tory cocksucker, and then the comments section proceeds to eviscerate Scientific American and said Limey dickhead just for the fun of it.  That's some neat stuff right there, and it proves that the readers of SA are clearly more intelligent than the editors of and columnists for SA.

Deadly White Radical Christian NRA Exceptional American Terrorism

Conservative christian radicals are killing in America! Help us jesus! Uh, wait, no, fuck off, jesus.  That's better.

But...

That christian jesus stuff can't be right.  Jesus christians with guns are always the good guys, so it musta been someone else out there killing people at a Planned Parenthood clinic in Colorado today.  Violent conservative christian evangelicals would never commit terrorist murder at a Planned Parenthood!  Unhinged teabagging guntard cocksuckers being terrorists at Planned Parenthood?  That's just crazy, man.

I bet I know what really happened in Colorado Springs.

Those Syrians and Mexicans are at it again, shooting up America because they hate exceptional American freedumb.  Or something.  Immigrants and refugees raping and killing with impunity because Obama and welfare and Democrats and Bernie Sanders and high taxes.  America must stand up!  America must defeat the terrorists in the homeland!  Syrians!  Mexicans!  Blacks!  Democrats!  Gun grabbers!  Environmentalists!  Doctors!  Women!  Women doctors!  They are always out there killing good Americans.

Right?  That's what happened here, right?  Some refugee immigrant environmentalist black Democrat on welfare killed some people with their food stamp guns and raised their taxes, again, right?

I'm sure it had nothing to do with the radical christian hate groups in the Colorado Springs area.  Or all the whackjob conservative evangelical christian asswhipes at the Air Force Academy.  Can't have had anything to do with that.  No racist, bugfuck nutty white guntard Republican assholes out there in Colorado Springs, either.  No violent, white NRA-sponsored radical christian terrorists in Colorado Springs, right?  No way.  Not in my exceptional America.

Musta been the immigrants.  Refugees.  Blacks.  Democrats.  Homos.  They're always causin' trouble.

Thanks, Obama.

And Pounded

Heaven Is For Real Today In Dallas

When the fucking loathsome Cowboys take a legendary beating at the hands of the undefeated Panthers, AND fucking exceptional American loser Tony Romo gets injured and knocked out for the season in front of the home crowd, it's a great gods-damned day and all the gods in all the hells and all the heavens are real for one glorious moment.  Surely it will be wonderful for the whole world when the NFL goes away for ever, but for now, America's Team can go fuck themselves.

The Space Aliens Are Among Us And Apparently They're Teabaggers!

Ain't no wall gonna stop these teabaggin' aliens!  They's from space.  The rock-ribbed reactionary fuckbrains who dig Trump and Carson and Cruz got all the fuckin' knowledge they need to be exceptional Americans!

More Gwar, Hopefully With Fewer Fox "News" Appearances

Now that Dave Brockie is gone, we can all hope that the days of GWAR frontmen appearing on Fox "News" is over.

Grant's Mire

Putin Had Better Pardon Turkey, Too

Russia's military surely is not what Putin pretends, and Russia in general is not as powerful as Putin would have the world believe, but Putin could seriously fuck shit up beyond Turkey and Syria if he is not careful.  Russia reacting rashly is a threat to the whole fucking world, and at this point pretty much all of us are counting on Putin having more sense than the average exceptional American Republican presidential candidate or elected official.  That's the dictionary definition of literally not-good.  Putin probably can't afford to do nothing--missiles in Syria is step one--but I trust the American and French and British diplomatic forces are busy working both the Russians and the Turks to make sure there is no escalation in the shooting war between Russia and NATO.  Despite what the chickenhawks and war industry profiteers littering the establishment media might say, professional diplomacy is pretty much the only solution to this shit show we've created in Syria and Iraq and environs, and better the folks Obama has in place than any of the fuckwits McCain or Romney would have appointed. 

Serious Question: Why The Fuck Do Hard-Right Religious People Have Such A Problem With Homosexuals?

I understand it's from way back, when people were even somehow more ignorant and somehow more hateful and somehow more brutal than they are in 2015, and religion was somehow even more bugfuck insane than it is in 2015, but why, after all this time, is it such a big fucking deal?  Why does religion continue to rot their brains so badly?  Are they just evil, rotten motherfuckers?  They can't all be crazed, self-hating, cock-mongering closet-cases, can they?  Or maybe they are, because if you are not gay, the last thing you really should be thinking about and worrying about is hot, sweaty sexytime between two dudes.  Or ladies.  I don't get it.  Why the fuck would you get so worked up over someone's--anyone's--sex life besides your own?  And your partner's or partners', I guess.  Because your fucking god told you?  That's fucking beyond nuts.  Because it makes you feel good to hate someone?  That's more likely.  So, I guess, it might just be evil, rotten motherfuckers after all as the most likely answer. 

Maddow's all over this shit tonight, but all the clips she's showing from all the braying dipshits sound way too incoherent and goofy to represent all the fear and hatred and ignorance these religious freaks have puked up for thousands of years.  Can it be as basic as just being a hateful piece of shit and homosexuals being an easy, socially-acceptable target for that hate?  Is that all humanity really is: hateful and ignorant and hopelessly so?  Jesus, that's fucking sad.

Glad Tidings For All

Liz Mair, Exceptional American Republican Dimwit, Is Not Taking Down Donald Trump

Mair is another yuge loser Republican, and she ain't up to taking down Trump.  It's funny, in that dwarf-tossing is funny when you're a drunk, web-toed redneck way, but Liz Mair is not smart enough or tough enough to undo the damage Trump is doing to her repugnant Republican party.  Mair has the sort of Midas touch that turns everything she does to shit, but I for one will encourage her to keep up the futility until she wastes every last establishment Republican dollar in the whole fucking world.

Liz Phair would have a better chance of ending the Trump campaign.  

Jesus Frakking Christ, Marco Rubio Is A Yuge Fucking Creep

Who are the scabrous dipshits who would vote for this weeny?  Yeah, Florida, but fuck.  Rubio is such a exceptionally American repulsive loser, with that thin, croaky voice of a prepubescent, chronic bully's victim.  He's not gettin' elected to anything outside that fucktard hothouse south of Georgia, and those dumbfuck bigtime donors are wasting their time and money.  Funny as hell, though! 

Those Blacks Are The Biggest Complainers Ever

Shut up you Black Lives Matter whiners!  All lives matter!  White lives matter!  White lives matter most of all!  Why the fuck are all the blacks getting so uppity every single time a black gets shot by the cops?  You blacks need to just keep quiet and listen to Sean Hannity explain why you deserve to get shot, and when you blacks get shot it is all your own damn fault.  It's not time to jump to conclusions.  The cops always have a very good reason to shoot a black.  Just because there's a video that shows that the cops were lying the whole time about Laquan McDonald, and just because without the video nobody would have been arrested for McDonald's murder, that's no reason to start complaining again.  Michael Brown was guilty!  Tamir Rice was guilty!  Trayvon Martin was guilty!  John Crawford III was guilty!  Eric Garner was guilty!  Walter Scott was guilty!  Guilty of being black and pissing off the cops.  Guilty!  That gets you killed here, boy, so watch the fuck out and quit your protesting, or you're next!

President Trump's gonna take care of you blacks but good.  He knows blacks and knows what you're all about with your protests and your getting shot and complaining.  That will be a great day for America when the white man finally gets back in charge just like jesus always wanted.  Black lives ain't gonna matter for shit in America even more that day.

Sammontana Yellow Masi Is What You Need

Good stuff.  Restored 1973, apparently. 

So Very Fast




Catching Up With Billy Bragg In New Zealand In 1987

We used to want the same things, indeed.  Billy Bragg and New Zealand and the world were young in 1987.  Now...

The Best Cycling Shoes Ever, With Laces And No Twits Allowed

Carnac Lemonds.  Then Legends.  Oh, my these things were freaking wonderful.  Do I still wear them?  Yes?  Do I wish I still had the mountain bike versions, too?  I do.  But road shoes don't go through what mountain bike shoes do, and I don't have any Carnac mountain bike shoes any more.  Sad.

The best Carnacs of that era had a really nice laces n straps system that kept the shoes nice and solid.  Sure, upper-class twits mighta had problems cuz they're, you know, morons, but the Carnacs were great.

Adios David Vitter, Now You Are Free To Shit Your Diaper And Get Spanked By Whores On Your Own Dime

Kbye!  Finally, the besotted cretins in Louisiana decided David Vitter was just way too fucking creepy to elect to anything else.  Good for them.  I'm sure they'll all be receiving gorillagrams from the Nobel committee any day now.  Vitter was an object lesson for the fucking useless Dems, though.  Vitter fucked whores, shit in diapers, and probably loved to get spanked when he was a bad bad boy with a shitty diaper, but he didn't resign and didn't shut up.  If only the Dems had such courage in face of way less disgusting and hilarious scandals. 

But today is a good day, and we can all laugh at the pathetic and disgusting loser David Vitter, off to pay to shit in diapers without the benefit of a government sinecure.  Louisiana is a shithole with or without Vitter, but it got a tiny bit better today.

And another hail and hearty "Fuck You" to Piyush Jindal on his way out as he joins the ignominious ranks of wingnut welfare queens.

Jeez, Doctor Who Really Wasted Arya

Maisie Williams should have been given something interesting to do on the show instead of becoming some mundane dipshit annoying the Doctor longer than the average human.  And though Clara Oswald was never very compelling, Moffat just punted her exit with something pointless and silly.  Really, when a show's been on the tee vee as long as Doctor Who, the chances are good that anything you wanna do has been done better before--Simpsons did it!--so you are a fool if you don't learn the proper way to send off a companion.  If not tragic and heartfelt, the sundering should be simple and quiet.  An idiot's blunder, a cartoon bird, and an anodyne story nobody could give a flying fuck about is not the way to do it. 

Shove L

'The Man In The High Castle' Show Looks Pretty Neat

It's sorta amazing that a company like Amazon can do someting that amounts to high-quality fan fiction.  Amazing that they would want to.  PKD is never easy to film well, but this shit is pretty fucking cool.  Better than expected.  That's somethin'.

Too Bad This Psycho Asswhipe Pride Of Yale Aleksy Vayner Is Dead--He Woulda Made An Ideal Veep For Trump

Aleksy Vayner was just the loathsome piece of human refuse Donald Trump needs to complete his 2016 Republican Dream Ticket.  But no, that fucking walking dollar store-brand rectal suppository Vayner had to go and off himself like a pussy before he could help Trump make America exceptionally great again.  Nice going, asshole.  How will America be great again now?

And what of Yale?  How proud they must have been to manage to admit the only self-deluded lying motherfucker and risible fascist creep on the face earth who might possibly make Bill O'Reilly look sane and decent.  Surely one of the greatest days in the history of that New Haven canker sore Yale University was when that fucking dickhead Vayner killed himself, and they were rid of him once and for all.

Yes, Yes It Did

Battlestar Galactica had the worst tee vee ending ever.

Fuck Paris, Fuck ISIS, The Trump Campaign Is Awesome Right Now And Needs To Be Getting More Coverage!

Donald Trump is killing it right now, but the stupid news in Paris is sucking up all the tee vee airtime.  Trump's easily the most entertaining thing in the world today!  He's going full-on raving fascist demagogue over the prospect of scary refugees and grimy immigrants coming to his very own back yard to eat his lunch or marry his daughter or something, and Trump should be introducing the DONALD TRUMP MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN BRAND BROWN SHIRTS any minute now.  It's fucking hilarious and even more exciting because we know that we might have a lamp post party in Trump's future!  Trump's also been skullfucking Ben Carson's campaign to death hourly for the last week, but that funfetti is getting buried by the candy-assed politicians and media pissing themselves over ISIS as well.  Trump's where it's at right now, and gods-dammit we are missing out on the exceptional American high-calorie entertainment we deserve!

This Idiot Is Teaching Fucking Sorry-Ass Kids At An Obscenely Expensive Non-Selective Private College

I get it, he hates Nader because Gore lost an election he didn't actually lose, as stupid as that sounds and in fact is, but mostly Scott Lemieux probably hates Ralph Nader oh so much because Nader had, you know, a life and career that mattered instead of being that guy for whom things didn't quite work out they way they'd hoped.  Plus, blaming Nader for Gore not even losing in Florida is one way to bleat and beg the Democratic establishment for some sort of sinecure for deserving entry-level lickspittles.  Good job, Scott!

ISIS Is Still No Threat To The United States--But The NRA Is

ISIS can't hurt the USA, but the U.S. government can certainly use the inane threat of ISIS to undermine American society--and they are.  Even worse, ISIS couldn't do as much damage to America on their best day as the NRA and the racist guntards do every gods-damned day.  ISIS doesn't have drones or attack helicopters or fighter-bombers or aircraft carriers or cruise missiles, and they can't hurt us at all.  The best ISIS can hope is that our cowardly, right-wing government loses its shit and panics exactly as they are right now, doing the work to destroy American society ISIS could never do on their own.  Meanwhile, the guntards and the rest of the violent, exceptionally American psychos continue their assault on exceptional American freedom and on the exceptional American peaceful society every fucking day of the year.  Genius!

Refugees And Immigrants Are No Threat To The United States

Republicans, teabaggers, Koch-suckers, and other assorted reactionary fuckwits are exceptionally yuge all-American pussies, shitting themselves like David Vitter over refugees and immigrants and orphans and other helpless people all over the world.  It is great fucking politics for the truly evil rock-ribbed Republican establishment, though, so expect to hear shit tons more cowardly wailing over the thought of helpless, starving children attacking the USA and stealing your guns and your jesus.  Small-minded bigots, racist piss stains, and bed-wetting guntards are too stupid to know any better, and they are the exceptional American Republican party voters.

Ben Carson Is An Exceptionally True-Blue American Idiot

The puppet betrays the master.  I guess we know how Carson treats his friends; Armstrong Williams turned Ben Carson into a teabagger cash machine, and now Carson is betraying that trust which enriched him--and Williams.  Well, after Trump cut Carson's balls off in the campaign, everyone knew the clock was ticking, and this is the sign that Carson's on the way out and heading back to living the teabagging jesus freak minstrel show Armstrong Williams produced for him.

Racist Fuckwit Of The Day Is Timothy Whiteman--No, Really, Whiteman Is A Racist Teabagger!!

Stupid, ugly, nasty, racist, ignorant is your exceptional American teabagger.  Only the creepiest reactionary pissstains are dumb enough to conflate slavery and treason with the struggle for civil rights.  Of course, teabaggers love Trump and Carson, and to a man teabaggers are violent, slobbering, hate-filled assholes.