Drummer Love: The Greatest Thread On The Internets Today

Excellent.  Butt stuff.  Heh.  This is why Al Gore invented the intertube webs.

National Review's 22 Biggest Assholes In America Issue

Look at those dumb fuckers.  And it's not just Glenn Beck and Bill Kristol, but they had to round up such low-rent shit-stains as Mona Charen, Ben Domenech, Dana Loesch, Michael Medved(!), Katie Pavlich, and Thomas Sowell.  Jesus, they would have been better off finding the nearest group home and forcing the brain-damaged addicts to put together an opinion magazine opposing Trump.  Mona Charen?  That's fucking pathetic.  Trump woulda paid 10 million dollars for such a perfect advertisement for his campaign.  National Review, home of loathsome racists and risible dimwits and fucking vile reactionary cocksuckers since 1955.  Stupid bastards.

Monster Us

David Brock Can't Help Himself

He's too enamored of Hillary, and he's lost all sense.  Which is his thing; when he was a self-hating right-wing slime-merchant, he was a senseless character assassin.  Now he's on the side of the good guys, sorta, but he still can't help himself.  The Sanders campaign seems to be on this; the Blue Nation Review site was purchased last year to become a Democratic propaganda arm of the Clinton campaign, so whatever is said can't really be taken at all seriously.

Unlikely Story Of An Unlikely Good Australian

The white guy in that fucking awesome photo.  Turns out there's a story there--as found in the comments on Deadspin--and that story is the white guy was a fucking Bogan.  Even worse, the 60s were a time when Australia was a racist shithole out of a Donald Trump wet dream.  Peter Norman, white guy, became a pariah in Australia and remained such long after John Carlos and Tommie Smith became widely acknowledged bad-asses.  So, against all reason and experience, the world has to say there was at least one good Australian.  Seriously, those convict motherfuckers are worse than Canadians.

If Bernie Sanders Got The Same Fawning Press Coverage Trump And Clinton Get

He could easily be elected President.  Whether he would be a progressive leader or ineffectual dreamer in office is not the question.  Trump has a segment of the media buoying his campaign, as does Cruz.  Hillary Clinton has enemies in the press to go along with a stalwart cadre backing her at all costs.  Sanders does not have that.  At best, he's treated as a curiosity and always discussed in comparison to Clinton.  At worst, he is attacked routinely by the mainstream establishment media and continually slandered.  But what if he got the coverage Clinton gets?  What if Sanders was treated as nicely as Trump?  Wouldn't that be interesting.  

Are You REALLY Worried About A President Sanders' Appointments?

Really?  Jesus that's fucking stupid.  More worried about who Sanders will appoint to courts and shit than the people Clinton will appoint?  Really?  That's insanely fucking stupid.  Obama's appointments?  Worried that Sanders would be somehow worse than Obama?  Rahm Emanuel.  Tim Geithner.  Jesus frakking christ, we need a better entry-level Democratic establishment in this country.  Jesus.

Yep, The Right-Wing Cocksuckers Are Trying To Blame Democrats And Blacks And Obama For Flint

Sr. Lee Papa's onit, too.  Fox "News" is part of a concerted effort by the Republicans and their pissboys to blame anyone and everyone except the person who did this: Gov. Rick Snyder.  It's about time for Obama to send some of his big guvmint thugs to drag Snyder a CIA torture prison for a few months until they put him on trial for crimes against humanity.  Let's roll, Obama.

Please Jesus, Make Ted Cruz Ineligible

So all decent gods-fearing Americans can roar with glee as the heads of neocons and teabaggers and other reactionary shitbirds explode all over the place!  What started as ridiculous on its face has grown into a legitimate major fucking problem for Cruz, and if the law professors are right and his not eligible to be elected President, well, hot fucking damn, that is the most hilarious thing I've heard so far today.  Bring on Trump! 

Thanks, Obama.

What Does It Say When Even Bob Dole Hates Ted Cruz?

Besides the fact that Ted Cruz is a fucking moron who destroyed his political prospects years ago with his rampant asshole shtick.  These days Bob Dole has about as much on the ball as a cheese puff, but even that brain-dead snacky poof can rouse himself from the shadows to drop some rancid shit on Cruz's head. 

Foreluv

Wait...What? Lush Is Playing Out In 2016

Huh...Really?  I guess so.  That's...interesting.  I read an interview a while back where Miki Berenyi described herself as a mom in her 40s who works in an office.  But now they're back.  Interesting, in the eventually-every-fucking-band-will-regroup-if-enough-of-em-are-still-alive-way.  Even The Smiths, maybe--see Replacements, The.  (Husker-Du?)  Lush: decent band.  Probably underrated as a band because of the hot, exotic chick thing, but still, decent as a band.  I always thought of Lush as what you got if Throwing Muses and Veruca Salt made a baby band together and raised it in England. 

The Fat Shit On The Megyn Kelly Racist Clown Show Just Blamed The Citizens Of Flint For The Governor's Crimes

Nice job, you fat fuck!  Chris Stirewalt is the fat shit's name.  Now Megyn and that other fucking cunt Dana Perino are trying to blame the EPA and Obama.  Republican governor poisons a town and it's Obama's fault.  Thanks, Obama.

Al-Jazeera Was Better Than Any Other Cable News In The USA

Frikkin' nuts that they thought Al-Jazeera would work as a name, though.  Some of the news and programs on AJAM were remarkably excellent considering the low bar set by the other outlets--and AJAM didn't resort to weekends full of prison torture porn while pretending it was a news channel.  Still, the name was never going to work in exceptional America.  They shoulda called it Rock Hard Real Man White Patriot News Network or something to get the exceptional Americans out there to watch it and maybe, just maybe see some actual news. 

Why Don't Whites Get BET Awards?

Donald Trump asks the right questions!  This is why America needs Donald Trump to MAKE WHITE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN AND GET THE BET AWARDS FOR THE WHITES.  Only when white people get all the BET awards they deserve will America truly be great again!

Bernie Sanders Nuance In The Strangest Places

Go figure.  But at least someone out there is able to understand the reality of starting your negotiations from the best case and working to a compromise.  That's smart.  Sanders gets it, atmo.  Unlike Obama who started his Obamacare negotiations from the middle and wound up with shit.  Sanders has been in national office for more than 25 years, and we can assume he understands how this shit works.  What he is doing properly is not giving up on his principles before the game even starts.  What's so hard to see about that.  Chait's always a doof, but Krugman's carrying the water for Hillary, and you would think he would know better than that at this point.

Holy Shit, Cruz Could Be Done After New Hampshire

If Cruz loses Iowa and then gets destroyed in New Hampshire by Trump and comes in behind some of the other losers still in the race for an inspiring third or fourth place, he's finished.  It might sound unlikely right now, but Cruz will not make it to South Carolina if he loses Iowa.  Pretty obvious Cruz knows this from the way he's acting out on the trail this week.  He knows he's in deep shit if Iowa doesn't turn out for him; the rest of America will be laughing as Cruz's campaign implodes in the most embarrassing way possible. 

How Fucking Stoned Was Sarah Palin Today When She Endorsed Trump?

Trump and Palin are exactly what exceptional America deserves.  Jesus, Palin was fucking ripping, though.  Was she smoking meth or shooting speedballs in the green room?  We may never know the answer to these questions but tune in next time for another exciting episode of Bullshit, or Not?

Arianna Huffington: Super Genius

September 2015.  How'd that work out, Arianna?  Jesus.

Ben Carson: Exceptional American Ass Clown

The scam Carson was running and calling it a campaign was looking for an excuse to drop the campaign part of the grift, and there it is.  Carson is not exactly a coward so much as a skeevy rip-off artist fleecing the old folks and mental defectives out there in the Republican hinterland.

Purposely Obtuse Establishment Democrat Or Just An Asshole?

Is it odd that establishment Dem-types are always shitting on anyone in their party approaching center-left?  No, of course not.  The Dem presidents since the 60s have been very far right: Carter, Clinton, Obama--not a leftie or center-leftie among 'em.  But that's the same old point: single payer health care, universal health care, moderate centrist policies are not priorities for the Democratic Party and never have been.  The Democratic Party establishment is a rock-ribbed conservative party and always has been.  Yes, at times the Dems have been more sane, pragmatic, successful, useful than the loathsome Republicans, but never has the Democratic Party been anything approaching left or liberal or whatever, so things like Single Payer have never been priority.  For Bernie Sanders, who is a boring centrist, things like universal health care matter, but he knows the party and the nation need to start somewhere.  That somewhere is with Sanders or it is not at all in 2016.  Odd that a purported health care "expert" is so enamored by with the existing Democratic establishment?  No, of course not.

Kool Kids Bike

Rock Lobster.  Tiny.  20" wheels.  Cool.  Hope that kid has a half-dozen bike ridin' younger siblings!

Not Even Terry Branstad Likes Ted Cruz

Brandstad is a fucking zero, but he is the Republican governor of Iowa, and even he can't stand Ted Cruz.  Jesus.  Cruz is a fucking shit show, and the Republicans have no candidate to stop Trump.  Brilliant! 

Brutal Review Of '13 Hours'

Fuck, that was fun.  13 Hours undoubtedly deserves every scintilla of the opprobrium for Michael Bay reasons alone, but when you add in the risible politics and Fox "News" wet-and-sticky cheerleading, the flick might go down as worst ever.  Nothing wrong with that.  Blake Goble's review on CoS is even better for the hilarious and creepy comments from the myriad of teabaggers and other nasty, ignorant fuckwits.  Nothing like a vulgar orgy of insanity to remind you just what the exceptional American is really like.

Le Week End

After The Seahawks Performance Against The Patriots Last Year

All good and decent gods-fearing freedom loving exceptional Americans should cheer without reservation every time Russell Wilson throws a pick-six against Carolina today, amen.

All You

Patriots Conspire With Trump To Make America Suck Again

And again.  Sure the Chiefs contributed to the wretched state of affairs, but Trump's pissboy Brady and the rest of the Patsies are bringing the suck all the way back to America.  Exceptional!

You, Better

Late period Who is odd.  This was 1981.  Unknown Pleasures was released in 1979. 

Thanks To Jesus, We Get To Watch Republicans Complain About More Americans Freed

Good fun!  Nothing better than watching the Republicans get pissed that some Americans are getting released from captivity.  Thanks, Obama.  Literally.  Republicans hate that shit.

Ted Cruz's Jew York Values

Cruz was right about one thing when he brought up New York values: many Americans knew exactly what he was talking about.  But besides being really offensive and bigoted, it was astoundingly fucking stupid for Cruz to give Trump such an obvious hammer with which Trump could gleefully smash Cruz with impunity.  Dumb, dumb, dumb.  But Cruz has always been a vulgar imbecile to anyone actually paying attention.

Bowie's Trick

David Bowie's trick was to remain somewhat relevant almost into the 90s, essentially one of two 60s-era musicians to do so; Lou Reed was the other.  When punk shattered into a zillion shards of independent music, with the glory days of 1980's college radio blossoming in the following years, classic rock solidified into a crumbling mass of worn-out music, with none of those classic rock acts making the leap into the new independent, pre-Nevermind glory days.  Except for Bowie.  David Bowie had always been a relentless careerist, and his best days were in the 70s, but still, he got his props, even after that execrable Queen thing and the equally wretched Mick Jagger thing.  David Bowie remarkably kept his rep the same way Lou Reed did, somehow managing to play in the same college rock sandbox with Husker Du and the Smiths.  That was his greatest trick.

Bernie Sanders Not A Socialist?

Not a socialist!  Of course, not.  But that's fine.  Just fine.  Is Sanders a better candidate than Clinton?  Yes, and that is what's most important.  Sanders is a mainstream politician, elected to national office for the last 25 years, and nothing at all radical.  All this shit should be obvious to anyone and everyone, but with all the horseshit being piled up everywhere during the campaign cycle, it needs to be said over and over.  Sanders is a boring centrist and is easily electable because his very mundane political ideas have wide appeal.  Too bad he can't get any realistic press coverage.  But better Sanders than Clinton regardless. 

Beads

Racist Guntard Shitheads Killing Each Other Is The Greatest Thing Ever

Fuck yeah!  Now THAT'S American exceptionalism for ya'.  These violent cocksuckers getting hammered and shooting each other is the best thing that ever happened anywhere in America, and all we can do is pray to jeebus that it happens thousands of times each and every day till we are fresh out of racist guntard fuckwads.  Very little good ever happens anywhere, but this shit is the greatest innovation in American history.  Thank all the gods that you were alive to witness all this. 

Holy Shit, Amanda Knox Killed Another Girl In Italy

What the fuck? Amanda Knox is a fucking killing machine!  Where's the justice?  Where's vengeance?  Who else could have done it besides Amanda Knox?  Surely she's committed every murder in Italy ever!  Wait...what? 

Exceptionally American

Exceptionally American Deranged Reactionary Shitstains Of The Day, Today

Irving Kristol. Owen Harries.  Owen Harries may be a generic geriatric right-wing goon, but Irving Kristol is more than simply a simple-minded reactionary neo-con scumbag corpse because he gave the world the wondrously demented fuckbrain and risible stooge Bill Kristol, and, for that, we are all owe Irv an extra kick square in the nuts.  Unfortunately for all of us, Kristol and Harries' simplistic brand of tawdry fascism lives on.

Where Not To Go For Your Cross Coverage

Gossip people.  Yeah, that's not the cross coverage you were looking for.

So Much For The Galaxy Quest Sequel

Not gonna happen now that Hans Gruber has died.  For some weird reason Tim Allen is still alive.

Virag's Movie Reviews: Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015)

The best J.J. Abrams film ever?  Yes, the best J.J. Abrams film ever!

But that bar is so fucking low that it's buried 2 meters underground in the the ninth circle of hell.

That said, The Force Awakens works as a direct remake, sometimes bordering on shot-for-shot, of the original George Lucas Star Wars.  It is entertaining for what it is and goes by quickly, especially in the first half.  Abrams is not responsible for that, though.  He didn't direct this film so much as he was hired to be the face of the Disney group which constructed the story, the script, and the filming.  The flick would have been known as the most ridiculous fan service monster in human history if not for the one entity serviced even more blatantly than the fans: Harrison Ford.  35 years later he got what he wanted.  And now the luckiest people in movies are gonna be Mark Hamill and Carrie Fisher--I doubt Disney will give up on the old folks in the next one, so those two are gonna be prominently featured and will ride the next SW movie off into the sunset.

As far as this one, it's too bad that the script committee didn't have a touch more loyalty to the idea of explaining shit and characterization--ya know, worldbuilding and all that.  The movie could have gone 10 minutes longer in the interest of making it a little less dumb since the stupid was hella strong with this one--lasers shooting across the galaxy in seconds is just the beginning of all the nonsense that nobody involved with the script seemed interested in explaining, or explaining away, in any sense.  (Undoubtedly one reason why the Mouse hired Abrams was that J.J. had neither the balls nor the talent to interfere with the product with any obvious questions any 8 year old moviegoer would have.)  The biggest disappointment is the knowledge that so much could have been done with the material that didn't involve a tired rehash of desert planets and aimless youngsters and Death Stars and lightsabered mentors and shit.  The thing looked good though.  The FX worked pretty well, and the production was well-suited to multiple viewings in the theater--undoubtedly on purpose, as well.  Probably the biggest weakness beyond all the obvious shit was Adam Driver.  At least he continues the Star Wars tradition of awful casting making poorly-written characters essentially unwatchable.  Go team!  Everyone else was okay enough and didn't threaten to ruin it the way Driver and Kylo Ren did.

Maybe the next one will be better.  Empire Strikes Back was pretty good.  What will they call the ice planet in that next one?

1 Thousand

Love Is Hell, 1989

You what else holds up?  Love Is Hell.  Even better with the EP at the end.  All that strummy bass guitar and noise are sublime.  And that shit is as good today as it was when it came out.  The entire album is fucking fab.  1989 was a long time ago.

HDTV Is Not A Friend To Nikki Haley

She looks like a fucking space alien.  If there's lizard people in America, she's one.  Why the fuck can't she do a better job reading from the prompter?  How hard is it to practice this shit?  Her crazy eyes look like they're gonna pop out of her head trying to follow the words in front of her.  Rubio was a fucking disaster.  Piyush was  a fucking disaster.  And now Haley has permanently crossed herself off Trump's Veep list.  Nice going, Governor.

The Republicans have no one even halfway decent in their national party.  Haley is a fucking loser--big enough to even be running for president--but she was the best they could do?  Really?  Fucking hell, the Republicans might not survive till 2020 even if Trump gets sucked into another dimension before midnight tonight.  Where are the national Republicans who are not completely embarrassing and worthless?  Nowhere.  There are none!

Thanks Obama.

China, EVs, And Coal

And not anything Saab at all.  Fine, whatever.  But if you create a state-sponsored reliance on electric cars subsidized by the power companies but the power is generated by burning coal, what have you accomplished?  China has boocoo problems with pollution and air quality, but electric cars are really not going to help.  China cannot support an American or European concentration of automobiles--nor can the planet.  Truly imaginative solutions are needed regarding growth and transportation in China.  Is China up to it?  Fuck no.

It Would Be Kinder To Light Someone On Fire

Than to make them sit through a State of the Union address.  Democrat, Republican, it doesn't matter.  Every SotU is insulting bullshit and utterly worthless.  Obama should be especially regretful considering how badly he failed at a time when leadership and progress were needed--fools and fluffers notwithstanding.  Now we get to anticipate the glory and insanity that Trump will bring!

Never Was A Liberal Media: Those Two Assholes On MSNBC At 6 PM

So, MSNBC decided it would be a good job to put establishment media conservative numbskulls Mark Halperin and John Heilemann and their Bloomberg TV show on every weekday at 6pm instead of say an actual center-left Democrat like Al Sharpton.  Keep that in mind every time some dickhead conservatives cries like a pussy about the "liberal media" and shit like that.  There never was a liberal media--forever and ever the media has been a stalwart servant of the establishment ordained by the ruling class, and in the USA that establishment was never for one second anything resembling left or liberal or progressive. 

Too Bad That National Championship Game Could Not Precipitate A Kaiju Incursion

It would have been lovely to see that demented fuckface Dabo Swinney being flattened by an enormous genetically engineered monster from another dimension after praying with fellow demented fuckface Ben Carson.  Then the exceptionally decent Kaiju could have spent an enjoyable time stepping on the rest of the bastards from Clemson and Alabama before the Jaegers show up to punch the beasts in the face. 

Jesus, If Trump Wins Iowa, The Republicans Are Fucked

There's no way Trump should win in Iowa--as Iowa Republicans often go for completely worthless jesus-fluffing morons in that stupid caucus--but if Trump does win Iowa, then Donald Trump will go on to win almost every subsequent primary and get the nomination without serious challenge.  And then the Republican Party is completely fucked.  By the time Trump is done with them and loses not only the White House but also the House and the Senate, the Republicans will no longer be a functional and functioning political party.  The most likely outcome will be three hard-right, unelectable parties: the Teabagger Party, the Jesus-Sucking American Taliban/ISIS Party, and the rump of the former Republican Party.  Nobody will get elected to anything nationally from any of those parties, so it is gonna be a good time to be either a Democrat or a center-left-to-actual-left American.

The conservative political and media establishment, as represented here by the vile Washington Post, may be scared shitless of Trump right now, but for all semi-decent and/or semi-sane Americans, these are the motherfrakking salad days.

Since Trump is not expected to win Iowa, a loss will not be damaging in any way, but the unlikely win will sling-shot him right to the Republican nomination and an historic general election defeat.

Frakking Packers Over Washington Is Obvious

Washington is one of the shittier of the uber-shitty, so watching A A Ron and the rest of Packers kick those vile fuckers around is about the best American can do these days.

Ace Iz High

When Will That Kenyan Quisling Obama Denounce The ISIS Bottom Bracket?

Obama, pussy, coward, Muslim, has steadfastly refused to fight against the exceptionally anti-American ISIS because he is a gay-married homersexual black gun-grabber, but even more disgusting is the fact that not once has O-bummer denounced the ISIS bottom bracket!  What kind of country is this?  Thank the gods President Trump will not allow 10-spine bottom brackets to challenge American exceptionalism or take our guns!

Jesus, Kansas City Is Just Fucking With Houston In The Wild Card Game

The game is a mess if you wanted Houston to win for some odd reason, and the broadcast on ESPN is a droning mess as well.  Maybe those idiots expected some sort of wild shoot-out and have been lulled into a stupor by the lopsided play.  Not sure. 

Nature Circa 1983

Memo To Blacks: Maine Has The White Chicks You Wanna Knock Up

I think this is a Jedi mind trick: these are the white girls you want to knock up, Blacky.  LePage is a Wiley Coyote Super Genius, and he knows all the white girls in Maine will give it up to any Negroes from New York or Connecticut who bring cocaine or heroin.  Not sure why he's using his Jedi powers and broadcasting to the whole world unless he wants those boys coming to Maine to bone the white chicks. 

Maybe LePage wants to watch or somethin'. 

Beat(en) On

Jesus Christ, Even John McCain Doesn't Like Ted Cruz

John McCain is one of the biggest fuckheads in Senate history--and even that asshole McCain can't stand Ted Cruz.  I guess if the Republicans in the Senate can take shots at Cruz, they are going to do just that each and every time.  That's pretty funny.  It's hard to win elections when the folks who should be your strongest supporters are working very publicly to undermine your campaign.  Heh, indeedy.

Fox "News" Is Very Concerned About Women's Safety When Scary Mooslims--Bill O'Reilly Not So Much

Assault: bad.  But for Fox "News", all of the sudden sexual assault is the worst fucking thing in the world when it is scary mooslim immygrints.  Otherwise, sexual assault is not that big of a deal for the Fox "News" types when it is Bill O'Reilly or Republicans or priests or cops or whoever. 

Mind Bomb, 1989

It holds up. Almost 27 years and it holds up extraordinarily well.  The Quietus piece is a little breathlessly shallow and cloying, but that's not a big deal--I get it.  I always figured the stark and blunt content of the album comes from an implied narration done from the perspective of a survivor of all the political and personal violence described in the music.  The album is not presented as a premonition but as a memory--a painful and debilitating memory of a survivor who would rather have just died with almost everyone else and made everything easier.  Whatever, the music is awesome from Johnny Marr and the band and the lyrics both touching and hilarious, sometimes simultaneously.  And the content is terribly prescient.  Matt Johnson was writing in 1988 & 1989, and he really did see so much of the coming shit storm.

Donald Trump Will Be Anal Bleach For The Republican Soul

Trump is not getting elected to anything--and when he destroys the Republican elections nationally for a generation, all the anal bleach in the bible belt is not gonna clean up that stain.  Trump is magic in the way he has undone the work of the national Republicans in the last 45 years, but because Trump cannot--and will not--deliver an electoral victory, the Republican Party will not likely survive in any recognizable form.  The Republicans desperately needed to maintain control over the rancid core of their base, but Trump has destroyed that ability.  They had a decent run, but Trump's megalomania and comical ignorance have proven to be the magic spell which has freed the nasty shitheaded teabaggers from the yoke of Republican control.  They'll never get 'em back now, and without those miserable fucking morons to prop up Republican brand, it is fucking over.  We've got less than a year of this fun, fun, fun funfetti, along with the Republican Party, so we should fucking enjoy it while we can.

Guns N' Roses Sucked Hard In 1987

29 years ago GN'R was a shitty joke--there was never any danger, any rebellion, any decent music.  To believe that Guns N' Roses was any sort of rock and roll monster, unconcerned about money or marketing or society's rules is beyond laughable.  That dumb band was always and ONLY about the risible image and tawdry marketing.  GN'R was shit in 1987 and they will be shit in 2016.

When Will America Wake Up To The Homosexual Agenda Destroying Our Faith And Our Society?

Trump won't save us--he's from New York City!!  They have fags there!  Only jesus can save us, and America does not love jesus enough!  The homos will kill us all!  They hate freedumb!

I am the Republican Man of the Year.

Oregon: Yep

Always was, probably always will be a weird fucking place stuffed up with a toxic mix of fruity, hippie idiots, scabrous, racist gun nuts, and socially awkward cranks.  If you read up on Ory-gonn here, there, or elsewhere you will likely get more and more surprised that the whole enterprise manages to keep chugging along in the 21st century.  And ask the important question: (besides the racist shitheads) why has anyone ever said yes to Oregon and no to Washington and California?  How often will that answer be fucking awful?  America!

Ted Rall Cops And Guns

Ted Rall: not a fan of cops with guns.  Good.  Cops should not have guns.  Normal, beat cops, traffic-stopping cops, flatfoots, Officer Friendly, none of those clowns should be armed.  If we got rid of the guns for everyone else, we could get rid of the guns for the cops, too.  That would make everyone safer, especially those cops who die from a shot from their own weapons.  And black kids.  And black men.  And black women.  And everyone else.  But mostly black people.

Nah, 'Avatar' Is Not Any Good

Avatar is not a good flick.  Nope.  It's not any good because once you've seen it once, you have no desire to watch it a second time.  There's nothing compelling on the screen which bears repeated viewings.  North by Northwest, now there's a movie you can watch multiple times.  Highlander, too. 

Not All Conservatives Are Hilarious Imbeciles

But this fucking asshole sure as shit is.  He's also not any kind of real doctor.  But this fuckwit Michael Hurd is a rock-ribbed teabagging moron without an iota of understanding of science or math or politics or economics or anything else important.  In other words, not-at-all-doctor Michael Hurd is the perfect Republican in 2016.

Slagging Eric Clapton Is Always Fun

Pissy insults, even from a hackneyed and shallow grade-Z douchenozzle-in-training, are always worthwhile when the target is the comically revered Eric Clapton.  Though, you gotta give Clapton credit for milking this shit for five fucking decades.

Let's Treat Those Shitheads In Oregon Like They Were Black Children!

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Even Yet Still More Hopelessly Ignorant Racist Assholes

Exceptional Americans!  If only Obama truly were a tyrannical liberal despot, bent on obliterating the teabaggers and other reactionary fuckwits.  If only!  Then he'd send in his Mooslim thugs to beat these fuckers into a greasy smear of exceptional American racist fucktardery.  That would be making America great again.

But The Dolphins Did The Gods' Work Today Because They Love All The Gods So Fucking Much

Nothing and no one could ever love the gods as much as Dolphins, so it was good to see the silly fishes kick the Patsies when they were down.  We thank jesus for all the meager gifts of ignominious defeats of millionaires and vile scumbags making America great again that we will ever receive.

Washington And Dallas Did Not End With An Asteroid Impact

There are no gods in any of the hells mankind ever imagined.  Fucking bastards.

Exceptional American Asswhipes

And jesus-freak nimrods.  If exceptional America was not filled to rim with comically ignorant and insane dipshits, America would be an exceptionally empty place.

Of Course The New 'Top Gear' Is Going To Be A Shit Show

Top Gear is dead--and this shit show won't bring it back.  Auntie Beeb should have given up the title, but they couldn't.  Too much money.  Until they waste it all with that awful show that nobody really wants to watch once the real Top Gear assholes get their new show going.  Too bad the BBC didn't have the balls to change up the format and the name, go for something new and original and let the Stig character rest in piece.  Unless they hire Ben Collins to be the Stig again.  That would be pretty funny.

Sabine Schmitz used to be called Sabine Reck.  That's pretty funny, too.

Ben Carson: Exceptional American Disarray

That dumb bastard Carson is funfetti last year, this year, and any year.  Somehow this stupid fuck wound up as a prominent candidate in one of our exceptional American major political parties.  That's just fucking grand.  At least we can all point and laugh at the rancid incompetence.  That's something.

Gotta Be More Fun Than Actually Watching Fox "News"

Was New Year's Eve somehow worse than any other night?  Hard to believe, but this thing is pretty fucking harrowing.  Seen from the proper angles, Fox "News" is a pathetic and threadbare propaganda outfit, and it sounds like last night was one of those times.

Drink Smoke Remaster Merge

Take In Too

Wake Up America: Trump's Not Telling You The Truth About The Aliens Already Here--Space Aliens!

They're here--and Trump's not tellling you the truth!  You can't trust Obama and you can't trust Trump.  The aliens are working to undermine America!  They have a plan.  Like Cylons!  But different.  Only exceptional American patriots can stop the aliens now!

Plus bigfoot.  Trump's not telling you the truth about bigfoot either.  Gotta get the truth about bigfoot.  This shit's vital to real Americans and freedumb.

This Shit Is Sick And Sad

Lou Barlow should be ashamed of this.  Getting back with J, that's fine.  Firing the drummer, that's fucking cliche.  But that nonsense about social anxiety is fucking inexcusable.  It's nice that Barlow feels alienation.  Great.  The banality of human existence in 21st century America.  But Barlow's had an outlet for it most people don't have the talent or luck to enjoy.  It's not surprising that Barlow feels weird around other parents at his kids' school, but he'd feel a shit ton more awkward if he was punching the clock at some low-paying job and really couldn't afford to be there at all.  I understand that Barlow's Kath may have been a horrible bitch, but people suck, and Barlow is willing to remain in an even more insane dysfunctional relationship with J Mascis because Dinosaur Jr. pays.  Making a big deal out of mundane struggles is pretty fucking tacky when you are living a great life in the entertainment industry.  Grow the fuck up.

Fuck You Bill Cosby, You Would Have Been A World-Class Piece Of Shit Even If You Weren't A Serial Rapist

Cosby sucked huge ass even before everyone on the planet knew he was a serial rapist, sexual abuser, manipulative slab of ambulatory garbage.  But now we know so much better.  Cosby is the perfect Republican and ultimate Uncle Tom, so I'd imagine we'll see him giving the keynote address when Trump gets the GOP nomination next year. 

Fuck Off, George Pataki, No-One Likes You

Literally, not one single person likes you, Pataki, you fatuous cocksucker.  Go away and never, ever come back. 

Keep in mind that this dickbag Pataki is 70 years old and very much alive, unfortunately, but Lemmy is dead. 

R.A.M.O.N.E.S.

All American Accepted

Electric Motor Head

Hard To Believe Lemmy Could Die

He was fucking old as dirt and still doing the Motorhead thing till the end.  That should have been enough to keep him going forever, but cancer is a fucking bitch.  The world will miss Lemmy in a small way, and the Motorhead fans know there's no replacing that man in any way.

If Tamir Rice Had Been A White Kid, Or Cliven Bundy, He Would Be Alive Today

Jesus sez: Black lives don't fucking matter.  White kid?  BB gun?  No problem.  White guy with a loaded gun drunk in the street?  You're good.  Crazy white assholes threatening Feds with guns?  Fine.  Black kid?  Dead.  Don't like it?  Fuck you.

Establishment Democrats Are As Worthless As Trump On Healthcare--Or Anything

This fool--and Obama and the Democratic Party--has the problem that he is willing to accept something horrible, Obamacare, because it was the best they could do. 

Fine.

Might even be true in a sense.

Whatever.

But the bigger problem has been the Democratic Party problem since FDR: the effectively right-wing core of the Democratic Party has never been in favor of any sort of universal health care and has never done anything to promote any sort of universal health care.  There have been activists associated with the party in favor of Single Payer or National Health, but the party itself has been actively working against universal healthcare all along.

No, it was not going to happen overnight regardless, but if the Democratic Party had not been a right-wing or center right party since FDR and had been working toward true universal healthcare the past 70 years, any political work, say under Obama in his first term, would have been truly productive because it would not have been starting from scratch.

The biggest problem is that establishment Dems and their wannabes always put party and personality and personal privilege over any policy which might be rightly or wrongly associated with true liberalism or left(ish)-wing politics or...

That's your exceptional American Democratic Party at work. 

There's No Way A YouTube Video Nominally Defending Scott Grove Should Be This Entertaining

But it is.  It's pretty fucking funny.  This clip is not really about Scott Grove or tonewoods or any of that horseshit.  It's more about having a bit of fun of with ass clowns in general and one ass clown in particular.  It's only 20 minutes. 

Santa And The Vintage Modified Jazzmaster

If you're around 12 or so and in need of your first full-size guitar this year sometime and Santa brings you one of these fuckers, you are pretty gods-damned stoked.  This thing, the Squier Vintage Modified Jazzmaster, is fucking sweet and at 225 bucks brand new is really fucking cheap.  Nice, though.  Real nice.  Sounds pretty good and feels really substantial.  Stupid bargain.  Everyone needs one.  If it said Fender on it, nobody would ever guess the price.  Amazing, really.

This Is Old And Outdated

Times change.  Art endures.  Memory persists, such as it is.  Now we know Lou and J like money more than they dislike each other and Murph is the happiest fucking guy in the gods-damned world.

Alex Kingston Was Excellent As River Song This Year

Yes, the character was butchered as the show went on and whatever vague idea someone had got discarded or forgotten, and, yes, this year's special was pretty fucking sloppy at times, but Alex Kingston was wonderful as River Song.  Capaldi was also on it even when the script was not--his joy at seeing River and his very meta version of the 'it's bigger on the inside' riff were just right, and they even got a mention of Stephen Fry in there.  If this was the last of River Song on the show, the character was sent off with a purportedly happy 24 year long last night with her Doctor.  Now it's back to business next year with Steven Moffat continuing to diminish the possibility of decent storytelling within the Doctor Who concept.  Fantastic.

If America Has A Team, It Is Green Bay

In the NFL.  It sure as shit ain't Dallas or fucking Washington or Miami or New England or the Giants.  Everything many some of the things utterly awful about the NFL are a bit less awful with the Packers.  That said, it is incredibly entertaining watching A A Ron getting obliterated and the rest of the Packers getting dismantled by fucking Arizona today.

And The Cowboys Lost

All in all, this is a decent NFL day in America.  Free-dumb!  Free-DUMB!!

Luck Ran Out For The Panthers

Not great today.  Yes, the loss makes it more likely they will win the Super Bowl, but it would have been better to be 11-1 and win out the rest of the way than to stumble late in the season and not get completely back on track in time for the playoffs.  We'll see.

The Patriots Love America Today

Genius.  I guess jesus decided the Jets needed a mini miracle today, so all is right with America after another embarrassing Patriots loss.

Been Beyond

Slimy Bob's Guitar Ripoff

J Mascis is weird as fuck.  That tacky purple Jazzmaster is friggin' sweet, though--and not at all a fan of the looks of the current Squier white & gold thing.

This Christmas, Let's Not Forget The Real Enemies Of Christians And Christmas

Jews.  That's right, Jews.  They not only hate christians, they are exterminating the entire white race.  What?  You say white isn't a race?  You are wrong.  The Jews are want to kill all good white people, and, like Cylons, they have a plan. 

I am the Republican Man of the Year.

This Is Not The Day And It Never Will Be The Day

This Happens Every Year

Someone else tossing their two cents in on 'Fairytale of New York'.  This is the real reason for the season.  Everybody does it because why not?  Every sensitive poet, awkward nerd, self-styled troubadour, Irish rake, sloppy bar singer, and every other idiot in the civilized world has something dumb or something hackneyed or something candid to say about the fucking thing.  And in 1000 years that song will be known for the wonder it has always been.