Gossip Kids Politics Club Versus The Electoral College

The electoral college is a remnant of slavery and should be abolished.  Yes.  Absolutely.  And the Gossip Kids are all over that shit.  Good.

Edward-Isaac Dovere, Human Shitbag

And liar. And hack.  Dovere was so hot and horny to take a shot at Bernie that he completely fucked up the David Sirota thing and then doubled down into corn cob status when he got caught.  Nice.  Anti-Bernie advocate Dovere is a shitbag.  Not shocking. 

I first saw this as a retweet by everyone's favorite Bezos guy Dave Weigel.  Weigel certainly seems to make sure he keeps the paymasters happy at all times.

Your Dumbfuck American No Shit Of The Day: Elite Institutions Are Elitist Shitholes Full Of Vile Cretins

Thank you Captain Obvious for your trenchant analysis.  Of course normal people do not belong at elitist elite institutions like Harvard or Exeter.  THEY ARE NOT FOR COMMON PEOPLE.  THEY ARE ELITE SHITHOLES FULL OF AWFUL PEOPLE WHO SHOULD DIE PAINFULLY.  AND THEY ALWAYS HAVE BEEN.

Ahem.

Normal people belong at schools full of people like them, next to other hard-working smart kids who want to do something useful.  Sure, you can find those kids at Yale, but you also find 90% of the Yalies are useless dolts.  It's the same everywhere.  The top schools are filled with wealthy slash connected dunces, and the smart kids are the distinct minority.  Know what you are getting into for christ's sake.  If you can get into Princeton or Williams and want to excel, know what it will really be like.  That's all.  Jesus people are fucking dummies.  Breaking news elite institutions are elitist.  NOBODY TOLD ME.

Also, too, tax the shit out of private schools, college, high school, religious, whatever.  Harvard and Yale and the like have huge endowments but still charge outrageous tuition, so wealth tax the fuck out those endowments and get 'em with the property taxes, too.

Beto Bingo Today

Joshua Holland wins.  Beto would be a great Senator from Texas.  Beto is a shitty presidential candidate.  That's the key.

Aeryn Soon

Michael Brooks Groks Beto, Atmo

Brooks is doing well with this shit right now.  O'Rourke would be a fabulous Dem from Texas in the Senate, but he is a shitbag neolib and has nothing to add to the presidential campaign.  I'm not sure Beto understands that dynamic, but I hope to christ he gets a hard lesson in it before too long.

Conservatives Are Really Fucking Stupid, And Happy To Lick The Boots Of Their Masters

Most of these Free Re-Pubic morons are probably destitute or damn close, but as long as their racist insanity is fed by the ruling class, they are happy victims and slaves.  Pretty fucking sad.  Pretty fucking disgusting.  And a big reason why our society is so brutally fucked.  But hey, Trump and his minders love the poorly educated, too!  Jamie Dimon is a scumbag, but he does feel the need to make some noises about what's going; the grotesque racist baggatron cocksuckers at Free Re-Pubic will never be sharp enough to hear any of it.

Life-Affirming Neo-Vintage Fisking Of Little Green Footballs Vile Cockback Charles Johnson

Charles Johnson is a hateful reactionary racist piece of shit.  Fisking that greasy motherfucker is truly the lords' work.

Ciccone Yutes

TPM's Porn Meister Josh Marshall: Simple-Minded Or Simpleton?

Why not both?  Crazy ole careerist pissboy Josh Marshall is easily one of the most enthusiastic boot-licking stenographers in America today.  He never asks a good question and never has an original thought.  Or any thought!  If you are the neolib establishment, Josh Marshall is a supremely useful idiot.

Too Pretty Pure

Cover Dream

Drink Up

St. Patrick's Day In New York

Sing Malachy.

Make All The Limey Bastards Pay For Bloody Sunday

Why only one soldier charged and not the other 16?  That looks too much like a political compromise  and not justice, but it should go without saying that all the murderous Limey scum should get justice for their crimes.

Dee Moh Bootz

Slainte

Live Life Live

Remember Rachel Corrie

Rachel Corrie was murdered 16 years ago.  She never got the justice she deserved, and the Palestinian people still live under the atrocity of Israeli apartheid.  Remember Rachel Corrie and the Palestinian people she was working with when she died. 

Remembering Rachel Corrie

Grotesque Little Green Footballs Cockbag Charles Johnson Is A Vile Racist

Glenn Greenwald is right on about pathetic hateful conservative asshole Charles Johnson of LGF.  The neolib dolts who embrace Johnson are every bit as ugly and demented as he is.

Conservative Stooge Evolves Into Corn Cob

Disgusting evolutionist filth! This is what happens when you denounce the reality of jesus christ our lord and savior!  Dumb conservative white man becomes corn cob as the world watches helplessly.  AOC is only popular with people who are not old white dudes!  And corn cobs!  Corn cobs hate AOC!!

Jerry A. Coyne Unloads On Creationist Asswipe Michael J. Behe Wthl A Righteous Fisking

Why are all these weird conservative religious assholes like Behe also science-denying dunces.  That was not a literal question.  Anywho, Coyne has some fun making Behe look like a complete dumbfuck right there in Bezos' paper for all the world to see.  Ignorant, imbecilic, racist, conservative, fundamentalist dipshits are not pleased to be identified properly.  Fun.  Keep it up!

I'm Not Sure HamNo Is Cut Out For A Long Presidential Campaign

Gossip Kids' class president HamNo sounds a little jittery already and it's only March.  I can't see him making it all the way till November of 2020 because the whole shit show is gonna get a fuckton more stupid and futile long before then. 

The Mighty General Castrates Armando Big Tent Dipshit Llorens And The Rest Of The Racist Neolib Shitbags

With a calm, purposely-unfunny drive-by fisking.  Conservative establishment Dems like Llorens are the fucking scum of the earth, and in reality that's a terribly unfair insult to actual scum on Earth.

Never forget this reality Armando you stupid cocksucker and all the rest of you neoliberal shitbags: in 2016, Hillary lost the easier election in human history to an incompetent and incontinent senile racist reactionary buffoon. 

And Bernie Would Have Won.

April Skye

Can We Hurry The Fuck Up With The White Replacement?

Weak whites, incels, MRAs, Proud Boys, racists, guntards, Republicans, neocons, the whole lot of pathetic white losers are really annoying now.  How long will it take to completely replace them?

Offensive, Unfunny, Racist: Libtards Are The Real Bigots

James Gunn And Money Are More Powerful Than Racist Incel Right Wing Losers

Money wins again.  The right-wing MRA racist loons couldn't stop Captain Marvel, and Disney decided to stick with the money machine.  Funny how that works.  Thanks, Trump!

Wasted Youth

Son Of Saab

Heh.  Sons of Saab.

Donald Trump Is So Sick Of All The Winning

He's a winner. Trump's the best. All the best words. And winnings.  Too bad more of those feckless conservative dipshits in the Senate were not smart enough to stand up for their own political credibility. 

MRA Incel Losers Are Having A Sad Over The Latest Marvel Blockbuster

Not a good week to be a conservative beta male on the intertube webs.  Sad.  Thanks, Trump!

Flat Crown DeRosa

I'm not sure this is a 1986; the 1986 frames had the chromed crown.  But certainly there could have been variations and non-Gita frames or some other stuff.  The flat crown with the chrome is cool though.  Anyway, red is boring, but it's fine.

Will Dave Weigel And Neolibs Fail The Commercial Nuke Intelligence Test

Yes, of course they will.  They're not gonna suddenly get a whole fuck of a lot smarter by this time tomorrow.  Anyone dumb enough to believe that commercial nuclear power generation is not a titanic carbon producer is too fucking stupid to live.  That and the actual nuclear and other radioactive waste products, well, it's an intelligence test way too many people fail.  No nukes.

Mekons Cheer

Mekon Clubbing

Whatever this is.  Loose the Mekons came the cheer.  This meditation on the theme.

How Much More Sick Of Winning Can Paul Manafort Get Before It Kills Him?

Too much winning.  Looks like jesus is gonna make sure Manafort dies in prison by hook or by crook.  Nice.  Thanks, Trump.

This Is Your Dorm Room If You Are A Wealthy Dunce Who Never Goes To Class

Who's So Very Sick Of Winning? Jacob Wohl

Sad little incel Jacob is not very bright.  Surefire Unintelligence.  And now even the other creeper friendless loser kids don't want to hang with him.  Sad.  Thanks, Trump!

Rocket Youth

Uday Trump's Greatest Achievement Would Be To Turn Himself Into A Corn Cob

Diaper Don Trump is a product of the shallowest end of that pathetic gene pool.  Jesus.

Theresa May Is A Leader Of Truly Trumpian Proportions

So. Fucking. Sick. Of. Winning.  Never gonna get sick of that winning if you are a Tory.  It's time for Corbyn, the time for Labour. 

Guntard Twits Are The Worst Twits

Unless they shoot themselves, in which case they are funny as fuck.  The worst thing about the twits is that some of them actually try, but then some real fucking fatuous creeps show up waving their guntard inanity or whatever and drag the whole over-privileged cohort down.  Sad.  Thanks, Trump.

Inside Its America

dril

Remixed Barbarism

Little Ben Shapiro Yanks His Crank Non-Stop To Fantasies Of AOC Beating The Shit Out Of Him

The Virgin Ben has it bad for Rep. Ocasio-Cortez.  That poor little bastard's sheets must be like cardboard from all the jizz he dribbles onto them with wicked dreams of AOC teaching him a lesson in his head. 

Shocking Revelation: Teabagging Fundie Morons Don't Know What Theory Means

Baggatron cocksuckers at reactionary fucktard dumps like the Free RePubic think that a scientific theory is some bullshit conjecture shit out by a bugfuck insane religious fundamentalist.  But that is not at all what theory is.  Evolutionary theory is as settled as the theory of gravity, but since fundie christian loons also have a tendency to believe the Earth is flat, well, they're fucking maroons.

Master's Head

If You Are An Upper Class Twit, AKA Over-Privileged White Guy, Every Day Is Your First Day On Earth

This fucking pretend tough guy is a big brain too.  Jesus tapdancing christ, there mushrooms in your back yard with a better idea of how the world works than the Serotta Forum twits--and those mushrooms popped up last night after a warm rain.  Gods damn, white people are fucking useless.

Little Marco Rubio And The Mystery Of The German Dam

Little Marco is a galaxy brain genius.  The real mystery is how a dam in Germany got a twitter account.

Trig

Tucker Swanson Frozen Meatloaf Carlson Pisses Himself Daily

Sad.  A tiny leaking pecker is no joke, America.

Keep Tucker Swanson TV Dinner Carlson Away From The Kids!

Who knew Tucker Carlson was a creep with pedo tendencies?  What ever will we do if one of St. George's' and Trinty's finest is a fucking mush-headed smarmy rich kid pervy creep!?

Shane Bouchard Should Be Trump's VP For 2020

Shane Bouchard is the MAGA man of every teabaggers MAGA dreams.  Way better than that fucking pussy Pence.

Twits Are Shallow, Or Disc Brakes On Road Bikes Again

(Narrator: No shit.)  But for all the time and all the money and all the privilege, the Serotta forum twits--and twits of every stripe--are fucking as deep as a puddle.  They're all just nitwits bumbling about with no hope of getting anything much right.  For what it's worth, disc brakes on road bikes are fucking stupid, all about marketing to white folks with more money than sense, atmo.  On mountain bikes, even the OEM Shimano disk brakes work really fucking nicely and are great for off-road riding.  Also, that SpecialEd is fucking heinous; that seatstay attachment style is vomitrocious.  Another unforced error, even if you concede that the disc brake thing is a craven marketing idea to move product to idiots.

Elliott Abrams Voice Mail

Genuinely Nifty Neo-Vintage Fisking Of Chelsea Clinton By Matt Bruenig

The last time Clinton was a sympathetic figure was in the Beavis & Butthead movie.  After that she became a horrible person deserving only the most vicious opprobrium from all civilized people.

McMegan McArdle Is Unqualified To Be A Corn Cob

She's worse than useless.  Poor Megan needs some cottonwool to fill up her head.

Tucker Swanson Chicken Dinner Carlson Is Not The Bravest Teabagger

AOC scares the shit out him.  Mostly because his billionaire masters are scared.

Brain One Half

Rep. Ilhan Omar's Attacks On Elliott Abrams Were A Watershed In American Political Progress

Every grade Z reactionary wingnut asshole went ballistic when Rep. Ilhan Omar sliced Elliott Abrams' balls off in front of Congress; it was truly a great day for justice and for America.  Since then, the establishment attacks on Rep. Omar have undermined the murderous Israeli apartheid state and the disgusting cadre of reactionary establishment dual-loyalists in Washington.  This is leading to massive progress for justice and the rule of law in Palestine faster than anyone might have hoped.

If Being A Corn Cob Is Too Dignified For You, You Are Jack Posobiec

Gods damn, what a fucking loser.  Dunking on this asshole is not sport, it's slaughter.  Sad.  Thanks, Trump!

Imagine Being As Thirsty And Demented As Liberty Doll

Holy fuckballs, this poor dumb broad is so fucking jealous of AOC that she'd do anything to get that much attention.  This should be Red Alert for all the magatard incels out there.

The Orange Dotard Trump And His Brain Worms Got Castrated By The North Koreans

Jesus frakking christie, the Trump team are fucking all victims of the brain worms, and crazy funsters from North Korea were fucking with them the whole time.  I guess Trump is even more incompetent than he appears.  How can that be?

Michael Brooks And Crew Have Been Great With The Support For Rep. Omar

Tim Pool Is Still A Tiny Bald Cunt

Endless Faithless

If Only Hillary Had Been Sharp Enough To Make Bernie Her VP

She would be president now.  Sure Bernie would be up her ass constantly, annoying the shit out of her staff and the establishment Dems, but at least she would not have lost the easiest election in history to the least popular and least competent GOP candidate in modern history.

Through The Love Of Jesus Fucking Christ, Paul Manafort Can Still Die In Prison

47 months is long enough for him to die a violent, humiliating death in prison through the love of jesus fucking christ who loves us so motherfucking much.  Sure it should have been decades, but we can trust in the lord to get this shit done at least in the time allotted.

World Nut Daily: If You Need More Unhinged Racist Screeching In Your Day

Count on World Nut Daily for all your deranged reactionary insanity.  They provide a valuable service.  Too bad teabagging incels can't read.  AOC sure is doing something right, though.

QTard Incel Baggy Losers Think Q Is Real And Trump Has A Plan

TRUST THE PLAN OF THE FAT ORANGE DOTARD WITH BRAIN WORMS!  Where we go one fucking imbecile we all go straight to fucktard heaven.  Any day now General Flynn and Jeff Sessions and Robert Mueller and Donald Trump will spring their brilliant trap and send all the deep state libtards to a military tribunal execution!  Q!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sherrod Brown Does The Right Thing

Apparently he was making plans to run, and then decided say nah.  That's not the worst thing in the world since his governor in Ohio is a fuckface Republican and because Brown had been making a whole bunch of really dumb neolib Klobucharesque noises on healthcare and education and whatnot.  It's time the Dems had a president who didn't give away every gain before the negotiations start like our pal B. Barry Bams.

Ah, Undersized Incel Loser Tim Pool Is Also A Bald Cunt

Yep, ok, that makes sense now.  The hat is not a fashion choice, but instead is a frail attempt to cover his sad bald head.  He's tiny, too, and bald.  And an incel.  Jesus, what a fucking loser.

Conservative Establishment Neoliberal Dems Will Always Be Worse Than Trumptards

The reactionary right wing Hillary dipshits are now dumber than dogshit Kamala Harris supporters, and those stupid fuckers will always be more pathetic than a smelly magatard losers any day.

Neolib Dunce Kirsten Gillibrand Sucks Major Ass

Shit senator, shit candidate, shit person.  Feckless neolib shitbag Kirsten Gillibrand effectively ends her wretched campaign for president with a completely nonsensical and cowardly statement on the smearing of Rep. Ilhan Omar.  Somewhere Al Franken is smiling.

Done

2003 Nagasawa Road Bike

Jeebus frakking christy on a longboard, 2003 was a long time ago.  And I've never seen a gold-colored bike I liked.  Champagne, maybe, especially pink champagne, but actual gold metallic paint, never.  It is a Nagasawa road bike, though.

Dunking Robustly On Jon McNaughton: Have You No Compassion For The Mentally Challenged

The man is not normal and his painting is very nice for someone without hands.  Or arms.  Or feet.  But with extra chromosomes. 

This Is The Reason Al Gore Invented The Interweb Tubes

This sounds like a solid plan to get rid of billionaires.  No doubt this is the best and funniest news you are likely ever to get.

Bernie Sanders Stands With Rep. Omar

Louder.  Good for Sanders, but the rest of those assholes should be standing up, too.  AOC, Tlaib, Jayapal, Khanna, and the rest should be screaming about this, making Pelosi eat shit for being a zionist boot-licker. 

Loony Baggatron Cocksuckers At Free Re-Pubic Are Unravelling Over Trump's Incompetence And Lies

Trust the program! Q! Where we go one fucktard, we are all fucking risible dunces!  The poor baggy cocksuckers cannot deal with the reality that Trump is consistently and continually full of shit about everything and lying to them every second of every day.  Sad.  Thanks, Trump!

Justified

Festive Fisking Of Awful Neolib Shitbag Andrew Cuomo

Taking a giant greasy shit all over Andrew Cuomo over his "free" college bullshit is pure joy in 2019 America.  Cuomo is the worst of everything about the establishment Dems in one repulsive greasy package.  Sad.

Vaccinate Your Fucking Kids You Horrible Stupid Motherfuckers

Vaccinate your fucking kids you horrible stupid motherfuckers.  On the other hand, that Ethan Lindenberger dude seems like a pretty smart fella.

All Decent People Stand With Rep. Ilhan Omar

Only the most disgusting would support an apartheid state like Israel.  Israel is a murderous, racist country, so anyone loyal to Israel is against freedom, Jew or gentile, Muslim or christian, black or white.  Fuck the racist haters in Israel and America, and may the Palestinian people achieve a supreme victory for their freedom. 

Bye + Cell

Josh Marshall Is A Vile, Racist Boot-Licking Stooge

Fuck him so hard in his face holes.  Marshall is doing the work of his masters, though, so nothing should surprise anyone about this nonsense.  Josh Marshall is exactly the sort of careerist neolib moron who would love to play at being a thinker right up to the point it interferes with his pissboy role.  Marshall's problem with Rep. Omar is all about her heritage and the fact that she is putting a spotlight on the murderous hypocrisy of the disgusting neoliberal establishment in Washington.  Seriously, fuck him.  But Marshall is a fucking idiot, so he may actually believe that shitting all over some racist reactionary cockbag's allegiance to Israel automatically implies that horrible treasonous  cocksucking shitbag is Jewish.  Seriously, fuck him.

Hamno Almost Gets Bernie, Atmo

The crown prince of the gossip kids, Hamilton "The Musical" Nolan almost gets the Bernie Sanders candidacy, atmo.  Not quite, but the simple argument is the proper one as he acknowledges: if you can find a better candidate with better political goals than Bernie Sanders, vote for them.  If not, why the fuck aren't you?

Beto Shoulda Run For Senate Again

Beto needs a win, and he's a shitty national Democrat.  When Beto O'Rourke lost to fucking cretin Ted Cruz, that shoulda been the end for that dipshit, but since he's got the charisma or whatever that makes the Washington establishment all wet and sticky, he gets a pass for that ignominious defeat.  But now that fuckface needs a win; he shoulda risked challenging that dipshit Corbyn, maybe being a decent Dem from Texas.  As a national Dem, though, Beto is a smarmy neolib careerist and deserves no attention at all.

Riddlez

Baggatron Cocksuckers All Butthurt Over Rand Paul

Heh, indeedy.  Those bitch motherfucking right-wing racist assholes sure hate that greasy fucking fatuous douchebro Rand Paul.  It's so sad to see all these revanchist shitheads all butthurt.  Thanks, Trump!

Conservative Fuckheads Like Bethany S. Mandel Are Every Bit As Fucking Worthless As Jacob Wohl

Every conservative is a fucking imbecile.  Conservative is a form of mental retardation, literally mental retardation.  Nobody can name one time any conservative was right about anything.  Trump and Wohl are no more useless than every other conservative, including Bethany S. Mandel

Fedback

Congrats To The Next Vice President Jay Inslee

No matter what any goofy dipshits say, Jay Inslee is running for Vice President, especially if Warren or Harris gets the nomination.  Inslee matches up well for front-runner Senator Sanders, too, but that woman senator + Inslee thing is pretty fucking ideal.  Inslee's gig is the environment, so that's a bonus for all of them, and he has the chief executive cred that works so well when a senator is on the top of the ticket.  Say hello to your new veep, folks.

Worthy Neo-Vintage Fisking Of Hamilton By Chapo

Hamilton is a toxic garbage fire, and the fans of that dreck are complete and utter shitheads.  Calley!

It's 2019: If You Believe Noah's Flood Was Real And Some God Created The Earth, You Are A Fucking Moron

It's easy to be a science denier when you are a demented christian fucktard.  These idiots actually believe that some god or other was directing traffic around the world and decided to flood everything except for one dumb fucker in a smelly boat.  Brilliant!

Dragging Josh Marshall For Being A Vacuous Jerkoff Never Gets Old

Good clean American fun!  Marshall is not what we would describe as a vibrant, complex thinker.  Empty-headed careerist pissboy is more like it.

Dunking On "Expert" Terrell J. Starr Is Too Fucking Easy

Way too many very dumb brothers out there.  Starr is a fucking stooge, but Kamala Harris has plenty of nasty motherfuckers backing her, so all the decent folks out there fighting against Harris and the rest of the nasty rock-ribbed neolib establishment Dem cops are doing the gods' work.  Harris is counting on race to give her a pass on her hard right record, but nobody who knows better will let her get away with it.  Maybe Starr can teach about all the bad stuff the Soviet Union is up to this year!

If You Need Bullshit Even More Crazed And Racist Than The Federalist, CCN Is For You!

Deluded fucktards who should not be allowed out alone around decent people?  CCN.  Demented right-wing insanity?  CCN.