Holy Shit, Zathras! Check Out This Lynskey!

What's a Lynskey?  What's an Uggams?  Apparently a Lynskey is something Zathras has been waiting for.  I don't know what the details are on these yet, and the road frames look like slopey-toptube shit--and for road racing frames they probably won't come in enough sizes to make it work for an experienced road rider/racer anyway--but the hardtails could be fuckin' killer for the price.  A nice titanium hardtail for eleven hundred bucks is pretty sweet--and mountain bike riders don't have the expectation of 15 sizes between 48 and 63 centimeters so a four or five size range is pretty standard.  This is the kind of shit Zathras wanted for Serotta, only cheaper!  A cool Serotta hardtail would be a great second frame for someone with a big burly full-squishy bike who wanted a long-lived titanium hardtail, but it looks like Lynskey is ready to kill that market segment.  How the fuck is Lynskey doing it, and why couldn't Serotta lead on this?  Weird.  If the Lynskey frames sell, I would advise them to go with a level-toptube road frame just on looks alone.  Hey, I remember the semi-disposable Litespeed frames 15 years ago; they weren't the greatest ever, but they were pretty fucking good and lots of folks rode the shit out of them all over the place.  Lynskey might be onto something.  And this $1100 stunt might finally kill Serotta Bikes.  Paging Zathras!

Zathras Gets No Respect From The New Serotta Guy

Lower prices?  Bullshit.  Maybe they're lower, but not low enough.  Where's the racing heritage and racing geometry?  Where's the level top tube?  Where's the fucking bike that's better than others at a great price?  Listen to fucking Zathras!  Dropping the steel is dumb, too; that carbon bike is hideous.  In a world of Crumptons and Parlees and Applemans and Times, that Serotta carbon bike looks like a Target cheapie.  Zathras knows, but nobody's listening.

One Year Ago Today

serotta fanboys lose the plot

things are a bit tense for the serotta fanboys these days in their new treehouse.  the website is not a big hit, and some of the free spender types are decrying the obscene and idiot prices for 2012.  there is not talk of the real future of serotta, namely the sub $3000 titanium stock road racing frameset, sub $3000 titanium stock cross racing frameset, and the sub $2500 stock titanium mountain bike cross country/racing-style frame.  that's the real deal; they could be the titanium racing sled in the style of the gaulzetti aluminium frames.  (gaulzetti ripped off his sizing mojo from ridley, so ben serotta should not be above appropriating it himself if he doesn't think that serotta stock sizing for racing bikes 25 years ago was good enough.)  for once these people should listen to poor zathras!
the 2012 serotta steel frame is 3800 bucks with a carbon fork.  who would be crazy--and stupid!--enough to buy one of those?  there cannot be enough assholes out there to keep serotta afloat.  as a companion to their stock ti frames, serotta should have an otherwise identical stock welded steel frame, $1200 with a steel fork, $1300 with carbon.  listen to zathras. 

cenk screws the pooch with breitbart again

tonight, cenk's show was excellent with bertha lewis skull-fucking breitbart's corpse on live television, but he fucked up big time by having some chicken-fucking lackey named joel pollack on afterwards to continue the breitbart tradition being the most repulsive human offal in america.  this is the second time that cenk has fucked up the breitbart story.  it doesn't speak well of cenk's ability and integrity.  breitbart was one of the worst of the worst, and to give him any quarter at any time is an insult to all the good people in the world.  both of them.

a great day on earth

and a bad day in hell.  eternal damnation my have finally become intolerable for everyone else.

by the way, if you want another of the innumerable examples of what is wrong with our political class and their toady boot-lickers and boot-licker wannabes: this slimy turdball from the inexcusable josh marshall.

Zathras Sez Sayonara Motherfrakkers!

Zathras says adios to those sad motherfuckers at Serotta--finally!  Turns out selling overpriced crap in a shitty economy is not such a good idea when better bikes can be had for way much less money when they say Cannondale on them or much, much nicer bikes can be had when they say Chris Kvale or Strong on them.  No shit.

I Wonder How This Will End Badly

Maybe Ben Serotta will wind up as Assistant Secretary of Energy after this latest bike thing fizzles out.  Kinda sad that Frank the Welder is involved in this horseshit.  Wadelton seemed to have a knack for keeping on in the bike industry, always working even if some of the gigs were a little sketchy.  He was a legend with Yeti and is still in the game, but getting too close to Serotta could rub off some bad sununu.  Somebody should page Zathras.  Or maybe I just have an irrational dislike of everything Serotta now, atmo.  Thanks, Zathras.

It Would Have Been Easier To Just Listen To Zathras

The new Serotta jefe takes on the rabble, but, for a guy who's supposedly the real deal in business and shit, he doesn't sound like he has a fucking clue.  It would have been easier to listen to Zathras from the start and do something to build market share instead of bullshitting his intended audience.  On the aforementioned forum thread, it was mentioned that the classic Legend Ti and Colorado-tubed steel road frames were amongst the best production road frames ever.  I completely agree; except for ludicrous pricing and questionable custom design failures, the Legend is quite possibly the best titanium road frame ever.

Poor, Poor Zathras

Two grand too much.  Nobody ever listens to Zathras, or doesn't listen well enough.  Those SG frames are way too fucking expensive, and the geometry isn't that great either.  There are not enough sizes, and the lack of a (nearly) level top tube is a fucking disaster.  There is no real future for Serotta.  Not if this is the best they can do.

What's The Over-Priced Bicycle Equivalent Of An Ex-Parrot?

Serotta? Why, yes!  If ever there was a chump who just give it the fuck up, it's that chump.  That idiot could fuck up anything.  Zathras knows. Zathras knows all about Serotta...

serotta fanboys lose the plot

things are a bit tense for the serotta fanboys these days in their new treehouse.  the website is not a big hit, and some of the free spender types are decrying the obscene and idiot prices for 2012.  there is not talk of the real future of serotta, namely the sub $3000 titanium stock road racing frameset, sub $3000 titanium stock cross racing frameset, and the sub $2500 stock titanium mountain bike cross country/racing-style frame.  that's the real deal; they could be the titanium racing sled in the style of the gaulzetti aluminium frames.  (gaulzetti ripped off his sizing mojo from ridley, so ben serotta should not be above appropriating it himself if he doesn't think that serotta stock sizing for racing bikes 25 years ago was good enough.)  for once these people should listen to poor zathras!

the 2012 serotta steel frame is 3800 bucks with a carbon fork.  who would be crazy--and stupid!--enough to buy one of those?  there cannot be enough assholes out there to keep serotta afloat.  as a companion to their stock ti frames, serotta should have an otherwise identical stock welded steel frame, $1200 with a steel fork, $1300 with carbon.  listen to zathras.

Zathras Laughs At Serotta

The new Serotta regime is so fucking worthless; when you are attempting to sell overpriced toys based on a mostly bullshit heritage and shit, refusing to honor "lifetime" warranties is the grossest incompetence; even Zathras is shocked.  Some inane statement from the new boys at Serotta promising to honor all lifetime warranties to the best of their abilities would have been the only intelligent move IF the new owners are really going to try and sell "Serotta" bikes.  This soap opera is beyond funny now and all the way to bathetic.

Lynskey Silver And Zathras

As Zathras and I suspected, the geometry of the new Silver road frames is not great.  I kinda had the feeling that they didn't understand the serious road racing/road riding thing.  If they'd asked me, I would not have gone for the slack head angle type layout; I much prefer a steeper front and a shorter wheelbase.  Oh, well.  Really this is why Serotta could have done this right, but Serotta's fucking hopeless.  The Silver 650B hardtail is not great either; the 29er looks okay.  It has the best geometry of the frames, but I worry about the description of a "comfortable tubeset".  A flexible frame sucks, and a flexible titanium frame sucks worse.  Of course, the Lynskeys were never bike people, even back in the Litespeed days, but after 25 years you would hope they would have learned a few tricks.  Looks like a great price on a frame that could have just as easily been way fucking better than it will be. 

Even Zathras Has Taken A Powder

I can't speak for Zathras, but I'm pretty sure even an earnest alien like him just doesn't give a fuck anymore.  The shit show never ends with these people.  And at this point, it don't frakkin' matter.  Using the name Saratoga Frameworks ain't gonna fool any one.  How many bikes does John Fucking Tomac or Merlin Bikes need anyway?

I still wanna know what's to become of the former Serotta carbon fork designs.  Will they be reborn in China to compete with Enve, or do the Poway carbon people have a plan to manufacture and market those things as a top of the line American plastic fork (and maybe carbon frame tubing and fittings, too)?

Serotta Pronto: Paging Zathras, Maybe?

Is the Serotta Pronto the real thing, the sub-$3000 titanium road racing frame that could compete with the likes of the Gaulzetti Corsa and Crumpton Corsa Team for the spendy privateer and racy enthusiast set?  Should we page fucking Zathras?  I'm not sure; I like the looks, except for the top tube decal thing, but it is too bad that the frameset price will probably break three grand.  Better than the Fondo, that's for sure.

Breaking: Rebo Of Rebo And Zooty Heard Trump Say Nigger

Rebo was in the room when Trump used that there word.  No indication of whether Zooty or The Machine were witnesses as well.  Time to page Zathras.

Twit Funfetti Jamboree

Very busy January for the twits.  Not sure anyone gives a flying fuck, tho.  Zathras knows better than Ben Serotta, and brave new world of bikes in general is looking pretty grim for every price point.  Regardless, these fucking Serotta things are pretty heinous and waayyy too pricey for what you get. 

One Year Ago Today

no one ever listens to poor zathras

the real future of serotta, if it has one?  the 3000 dollar stock titanium road racing frame.  i've said it before and i'll say it again.  if you have a (reasonable?) stock carbon road frame and a killer, uber-expensive aluminium racing frame, what's left?  the stock, titanium road racing frame.  not a fucking long-low, bullshit fender bike.  not some idiotic, old-man, high-headtube frame.  a real, tweaked, tight racing frame.  stock sizing only.  no stupid, thousand dollar, douchey flame paint jobs.  make (most of) 'em to order, but have the shit on hand to build and ship them pretty quickly.  use the top-shelf straight-gauge ti tubing, and make them ride like the best racing frames, and deliver them at a great price.  with their ludicrous and fucking obscene pricing structure, serotta is swirling around the bowl on their way out.  clearly their brain trust is a loser crew; if they don't adopt a racing mindset and use their titanium fabrication skills to their best use at the right price, it's adios motherfuckers.

if they really want to prove they have giant balls and want to be players in the racing-style bike game, serotta could also offer a stock steel racing frame and fork at ridiculously low price, sized just like the titanium racing frames, every cm from 48-65, perfect for people who know better and are on the tightest of budgets and want a proper-fitting racing frame that comes in more than 3 sizes.  or maybe those people have the serotta ti racing frame already and want a second frame but don't want to spend another three grand.  something.  serotta had better come up with something, and way back in ancient history they know how to make a world-class racing bike.

if the road and mountain frames start to make money, they could add cross to mix as well.  it sure sounds better than flushing your brand with dentist's bikes that nobody wants.

update: with friends like these...you are fucked if you are serotta.  i bet richard sachs is really, really happy he didn't decide to make sachs frames, inc. a bigtime factory 35 years ago...

Sad Right-Wing Idiot Of The Day, Today

Mister Garibaldi.  Doyle was never a great actor--or a good one, really--but he was decent and effective on Babylon 5.  After that though, the acting thing didn't quite work out so instead of following Mr. Morden's lead, Doyle decided to become a wingnut assclown and grade-Z right-wing talk radio guy.  He shoulda listened to Zathras and found himself a nice hole to hide in for a thousand years or so before becoming a sad imitation of Sean Hannity.

Serotta Is (Finally) Toast

They've been shit for a long time, but this is clearly the end.  The next step is a shitty Chinese carbon bike without the race cred Cannondale can manage.  Serotta probably never stood a chance, but those idiots should have listened to Zathras anyway.

Twits Versus Strength, The Movie

Not really, but hasn't Strong the man and Strong the bike company been at this carbon project for a while now?  Haven't I been getting the emails occasionally for quite some time?  We may never know the answers to these questions, but tune in next time for another exciting episode of Bullshit, or Not?  Seriously, Carl Strong has had more business plans than fucking Serotta--remember the stock size mountain and road bikes; the Ibis bikes built by Strong's production shop; the bike shop/factory; the lugged custom frames; the winter sale; what else?--yet he's still out there doing it.  I wonder why that is?  Zathras?

Are (Were) Vynl Bikes The Real Deal, What Gaulzetti Pretended To Be

They may be done now, killed by coronavirus, but when they were going, were Vynl frames the real aluminum racing bike, reasonably priced and elegant race machines, the very thing Gaulzetti pretended to be while blowing up a parade-float sized cult of personality and courting Richard Sachs?  Looks like it.  Too bad this virus killed them, too.  The frames were wicked and priced right for the 2020s road racer and athletic rider.  No risible integrated seatpost and $4000 price tag.  These were what Zathras always had in mind: a real racing bike priced right without the silly circle jerk of the Gaulzetti stans.  They were going for about four years.  Not bad.