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The Biggest Asshole On The Serotta Forum Gets Kicked Hard, Finally

The king of the twits has been smashed at last.  It's taken literally years for someone to finally call out that asshole for being the racist piece of shit motherfucker and brainless reactionary teabagger he is.  Lovely to see that after all this time.  Conservatives are mental defectives and it is about time America faces reality.  Moar please. 

Remarkable Story Of A Bad Actor And Terrible Person

Amazing story.  It's got it all.  Nazis.  Boxing.  Hollywood.  Incest.  Cancer.  Acting.  Tragedy.  Comedy.  Wrestling.  Fathers.  Mothers.  Sisters.  Movies.  TV.  And at the center was that Vigo guy, who was an awful person.  The whole thing is worth reading.  I bet it makes Ernie Hudson feel way better about his Ghostbusters experience.

Trump Ended Kasich's Campaign Last Night

Lehman Brothers.  Well, Donald Trump just showed America how to destroy John Kasich.  It was pretty fucking sweet.  Donald Trump does not even need to get the nomination now in order to dismantle the Republican chances in 2016.  As long as the Dems were paying attention, Trump made sure that John Kasich could never win a national election for anything.  Note as well that nobody did anything to diminish Trump during the debate, and every second of every day moves Trump closer to imploding the entire Republican party when he becomes the de facto nominee far in advance of the convention.

Indeed, Kasich never had much of a campaign anyway, but he was the exact sort of unctuous cretin designed to appeal to the rock-ribbed village idiots in the establishment media, a kind of Scott Walker but with all the proper chromosomes, as a mainstream Republican even though Kasich's positions and ideology are full-on fascist evil.  Trump took out the trash, though, and that is properly fucking funny in ways few things are funny.

The bullshit media narrative after this debate--the last one was iCarly, and that didn't end well for anyone, really, except American decency, of course--is already some nonsense about Marco Rubio, but Jeb!'s friends at the papers have adroitly ended Rubio's campaign with an editorial calling him a scumbag; after all Rubio's problems with money and credulity and sanity, branding him a dirtbag cheating the dipshits in Florida by collecting a check and not actually working as a Senator is something Rubio will not survive.  Jeb! blew it when he tried to attack Rubio during the debate over this failure as a Senator and being a thieving piece of shit in general, but watch for Trump or some other halfway decent politician to crush little Marco like a bug over this shit sooner rather than later.

Gaulzettis Are Still A Thing?

First the Jerk, then not the Jerk, and now the Jerk again?  Um, okay.  The twits are bemused.  But for once I think they have a point.  Gaulzettis were over a long time ago, and I'm not sure anyone cares anymore.  The kool kidz are probably stoked, but...yeah.

I think changing the model names is a really bad idea; Corsa is a perfectly good, obvious name.  Changing it sounds like you are full of shit.  Go with Corsa, paint it in a single color, and you have something resembling class.  New fonts, new names, it's all nonsense.  That peak, such as it was, was a lifetime ago for Gaulzetti.  Five years is forever in the boutique bike biz, and if Gaulzetti was ever going to make a splash beyond a few sycophants and overprivileged idiots, he woulda done it by now.

At this point, why not just call up Frank The Welder and say you want a hot aluminium road racing bike and then get just what you want!

Epic Crowd-Sourced J.J. Abrams Fisking

Yep, that got fun in the comments.  It's great to see that so many good people out there understand just how awful J.J. Abrams is.  I contend that Abrams has never made a good movie or television show, and that the only way Abrams ever got into the business was because his parents were in it.  J.J. Abrams without his family would have been a really fantastic assistant manager at a NAPA shop, but only if his uncle owned it.

I think there's a ginormous chance that the new Star Wars is gonna suck majorly, and if it doesn't it will only be because of around a hundred Disney execs undoing every dumb thing Abrams does and did, from script to photography to editing and beyond.  Any SW movie that is a personal project of J.J. Abrams will be monumentally awful and insulting and an affront to basic human decency.  

Cool Hampsten Mountain Bike

Neat.  Really, put a proper fork on it with some decent tires & you are good to go.  I'd ride a modern version of this bike with disk brakes, a long-enough top tube, shortish chainstays, and a current, dependable fork all day long in 2015 & beyond.

Plus, orange.  Take the orange on the bike, the orange fork, change the blue to green metallic and have a Zebrakenko vibe rockin' bigtime.  

And Then There's This Disgusting Piece Of Shit Ed Klein

Ed Klein, now there's a guy who sucks fucking major moose cock for six gods-damned decades.  He's been a useless reactionary piece of shit from way back, and even worked at the risible Parade Magazine, writing a fucking gossip column, and now bobs up on Fox "News" to puke up some especially inane political horseshit.  Even other sleazy Republicans can't stand this scumbag, and when ass clowns from the likes of National Review turn on you, well, you know you gotta suck pretty fucking hard.  Plus, this walking fuckstain Klein is associated with these two disgusting fucking chunks of human detritus, the fucking fatuous Shalit sisters.  Gods damn, Klein is utter garbage.

Get The Fucking Cops Out Of The Fucking Schools!

What kind of assholes would put up with this fucking shit?  Who is dumb enough to let this go on and on and on to their children or anyone's children?  Exceptional American idiots, I guess.  Having cops in the schools is a danger to the students, and this is not the only example.  America is a violent, horrible society, and the police are a menace.  Get the cops out of the schools, take the guns from the cops, and make America a little bit more pleasant while we save a few lives.  And take that jerkoff bully cop from the video and let some of the students kick the shit out him on a daily basis for the rest of the year just for the hell of it.

I Am The Republican Man Of The Year, But Donald Trump Will Be The Democratic Man Of The Year

Trump has been going apeshit recently, obliterating everything that the Republican brand stands for with such genuine glee and easy bluster.  Trump smacked down the entire last generation of Republican politics by finally blaming George W. "Retardboy" Bush for 9/11 in public.  Now Trump is attacking the campaign finance disaster we have going on right now in addition to attacking Ben Carson for Carson's insane religious beliefs.  This is amazing shit, exactly the sort of thing the Dems should have been doing to Republicans all along.  But Trump's the one doing it, and so he will be the 2015 Democratic Man Of The Year!

Quentin Tarantino: Great American And Friend Of The Blahs

Good for Tarantino, getting out there, and pissing off the shitheads.  Tarantino is beginning to look a shit ton like Oliver Stone's tweeker little brother, not that that is necessarily the worst thing in the world after the simultaneously bloated and pasty vibe Tarantino had going on in his last flick.  Maybe if a few more somewhat influential and/or popular white folks get their heads outa their asses and start admitting the truth, maybe, just maybe things will improve.  Don't count on it, though.  Most privileged white people are too bored and/or stupid to notice reality and are likely to think the cops are just dandy out of ignorant inertia.  Tarantino is not exactly a pop star and is happy for the publicity--and is a true friend of the blacks in his own mind at least.

Bernie Sanders Has A Good Plan For Strengthening The Post Office And Boosting The Economy

Not exactly like he came up with this all on his own or anything, but that don't mean he's not 100-per-fucking-cent right about the Post Office and Postal System Banking.  The USA in 2016 needs a coupla things from the mail: a functional and functioning US Postal System and a customer-centered savings and checking bank that poor and middle-class folks can afford.  What a boon to the economy if these people weren't being ripped off on a daily basis by giant banking corporations.  Those fees being stolen from the Americans with the least amount of disposable income could be running through the economy stimulating local businesses and local communities.  Sanders is on to something, and he should be shouting this shit from the rooftops.  If normal, rock-ribbed American-type people understood what Sanders was saying, at least all of them would be thrilled.  Exploiting the poor and the powerless is good business for the 1% and terrible policy for the economy and the society.  This exactly the sort of boring, common-sense, useful, centrist policy positions you will not get from Hillary Clinton or Martin O'Malley.  Feel the Bern, morons, and vote for your own interests for once.  Jesus. 

This Bugfuck Insane Adult Virginity Shit Is Not At All Creepy As Fuck

Gross, dude.  What the fuck is wrong with these people?  What kind of a sick son of a bitch is obsessed with his daughter's sex life?  Just say no, asshole.  Nothing like treating your kid like some sort of pet.  Damn, people suck.

Did You Realize That Space Aliens Are Demons From Literal (Completely Imaginary) Hell In Disguise?

Didja?  No, you didn't see the truth till now?  That's okay, cuz this inspiring polymath genius Jefferson is here to finally explain the truth to you!  Hooray!  See jesus is really behind all this alien shit, and jesus is here and very real and not at all the figment of some especially scabrous lunatics' imaginations, and jesus will explain it all to you.  And Jefferson will help you write a book that will make jesus make a mess in his jesus pants.  I guess that means that Rodney "Cock" Johnson finally has some competition in the running to be the world's worst living author!  Hooray!

Christian Conservative Idiots Really Do Ruin Everything

Unstoppable religious fundamentalist ignorance and fucktardery can and will ruin everything.  There's nothing more conservative than an elite boarding school in New England.  On the other hand, the conservative school does not necessarily mandate vulgar, insane christian conservative indoctrination be inculcated into the student body.  But that's not acceptable to some fucking retards out there and they want to their abused and ignorant spawn to attend CONSERVATIVE boarding schools.  Jesus fucking christ, these people are a menace.

iCarly Is Still Total Shit!

All this Benghazi funfetti has taken the focus off just how hilariously awful iCarly is doing in the polls!  She's still the biggest loser in the race, and since they didn't pick her for Speaker of the House, it is only a short (too short!) time until Fiorina's campaign gives up.  Let's pray to the gods that it is shameful and comical and entertaining when she fails for the last time.  She is a disgusting human being, even when compared to other Republicans!  Some of the fucktards and cretins still dig her, so that makes her vulgar incompetence even more beautiful!

Cranes

Unfortunately For The Blue Jays And American Decency, David Price Is Always Not Quite Good Enough When It Counts

David Price is always fine, just fine till you really need him to step up, and then you get not quite good enough.  There are winners and there are losers.  Price is not a winner.  The Royals are an offense against good taste so fuck David Price.  Thanks, Obama.

Dumb Things You Gotta Do