Coach Carter is the worst and most offensively disgusting film ever made, but Good Will Hunting is an astoundingly wretched movie in an entirely different way. It's a soft-headed Kevin Smith-style Southie sitcom. Stellan Starsgard's scarf. Ben Affleck method acting Ben Affleck. It's wicked dumb too. Bourne is too smart in this flick. He's not some smart kid from Southie who had a tough life. He's a fucking Christopher Marlowe polymath genius with apparently eidetic memory, so no matter what fucking orphanage he was terrorizing or how hurt he was inside, Will woulda been scooped up and trundled off to Exeter or Groton and gone to MIT or Harvard on his own. Will woulda been that d-bag grad student pressing Erik Selvig's scarf. For the movie to work as more than a sitcom, the smart guy shoulda been merely wicked smart, not a fucking genius prodigy, merely a physics professor in the making, not a gods-damned superhero--so much more interesting if the guy has to work hard for better-than-most-anyone-else-could outcomes, more interesting but way harder to pull off if you are basically a hopeless hacktacular writer or writers. I'd much rather watch Good Will Hunting 2: Hunting Season. That's easily the best idea Smith's had since 10 minutes into Clerks.
Dead Poets Society sucked huge moose cock, too. Do I sense a pattern?
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