Jesus Frakking Christ, Cancel The Superbowl Now

It's toast.  Ditch the bullshit and that fat slut Katy Perry, send the Patsies and the fucking Seahawks home, wheel in six kegs of something decent, and I will provide a reasonably entertaining pickup football game with lots of contact, excessive drinking, and so much adult language it will more than worth the price of cable tee vee.