Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Not Much Sucks Harder Than Metallica

Ponderous.  Boring.  Dumb.  Metallic sucks ass, and although it seems impossible, the hardcore Metallica fans might be worse than the fucking music.  Jesus.

Sunday, August 21, 2016

The True Story Of Your 2016 Presidential Campaign

Clinton and Trump: two dogs fucking.

Virag's Movie Reviews: Bubba Ho-Tep (2002)

Bubba Ho-Tep is a fun little flick, mostly because Bruce Campbell and Ossie Davis look like they're having a blast.  Unfortunately, the movie is wildly overrated and called insightful and smart, when it's really not too much of any of it.  Still, after this flick director Don Coscarelli got involved with the utterly terrible Paul Giamatti, so Bubba Ho-Tep and Phantasm are as good as he's ever gonna do.

Usain Bolt: We Know He's A Doper Because He's Not American

Americans don't cheat, but those foreigners, well, they can't be trusted.  If Bolt was an exceptional American like Michael Phelps and Katie Ledecy we could trust him.  But we know he's not exceptional like an American.  I am the Republican Man of the Year.

Saturday, August 20, 2016

Virag's Movie Reviews: Hail, Caesar! (2016)

I think each Coen was making a different flick and forgot to tell the other one.  Both were lightweights, trifles, but the old-timey Hollywood fanfic movie didn't quite mesh up with the Eddie Mannix movie.  That got annoying pretty fucking quick.  Some funny bits but not exactly an actual motion picture except in the strictest and most useless sense.

Friday, August 19, 2016

Paul Manafort: Exceptional American Asshole

Paul Manafort is an especially nasty exceptional American, so it's a blow to comedy to see him get his ass booted from the Trump train wreck before the ultimate immolation.  What we need is more fun in our lives and more of the worst humans flitting around Trump like syphilitic trash flies.  I guess with Manafort gone there will be extra room for Roger Ailes to work his execrable magic.   

Donald Trump Needs Ryan Lochte

Trump + Lochte = Victory!  Lochte is just the sort of guy Trump needs on his campaign right fucking now!  Fuck Jeah!

Thursday, August 18, 2016

Trump Will Own Fox "News" Before He's Done

Trump will not win the election, but he will own Fox "News" before he's done with his campaign.  Of course then he'll declare bankruptcy and shut it the fuck down, but that's racing.  And Eric Bolling is an especially demented dipshit, even on Fox "News".

Fuck Jeah, Ryan Lochte!

Get this guy a tee vee show!  Oh, wait...

Virag's Movie Reviews: The 33 (2015, Chile)

Cool story with a remarkably happy ending considering the situation, but this flick was scatter-brained and oddly flat.  There were some nicely constructed scenes, and the cast did an fine job, with Banderas being surprisingly watchable and Henry Standing Bear going all in in the Southern Hemisphere, and an even better job not laughing at Gabriel Byrne's shifting accent--at times he just stopped trying only to start up again after a few lines--but by the end there was no there there.  Had someone decided to make the film the story deserved, I can see where it might have been wicked good.

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Hysterical Rebecca Schoenkopf Auto-Fisking

Rebecca Schoenkopf is one of our many, many demented airheads and entry-level Democratic establishment pissboyz and pissgurls who lurve them some Hillary Clinton, and she did humanity a wonderful favor by brutally auto-fisking right out there in the middle of the campaign so we can all have something else to laugh at and be disgusted by at the very same time!  So, Jill Stein is a cunty hag, and Bill Clinton is a fine guy even if he raped that woman?  Very good.  Imagine if Bernie Sanders' son had called Hillary Clinton a cunty hag.  What would Rebecca Schoenkopf have said about Sanders and his son?  Would she have been totally down with it or would it have been the worst thing anyone had ever done or said any time in history?  What if a Sanders had been the alleged rapist, possible rapist, instead of Clinton?  Cunty hag, indeed!


Katinka Hosszu had a great Olympics meet.  And the 4 I.M. is the most demanding race in the fucking world.  Whatever anyone wants to say about her husband, her muscles, her racing, and whatever drugs she's taking, she turned in a big meet when she wanted to the most.  If her asswipe husband bullied her into those gold medals, he bullied her into more gold medals than you have.  She got it done, and she's been improving steadily since her college days.  If she's doping, so are all the rest of them, even the ones with names like Phelps, Ledecky, Manuel, Oleksiak, Ervin.  Maybe that was Missy Franklin's problem: not enough drugs.  Maybe Ryan Lochte forgot to go to his doctor.  Regardless, Hosszu got the medals she'd been chasing and deserves the credit.  (Plus she's really pretty and I'm shallow.  Moar Hosszu.)

What the fuck is up with Hungarian names and all the fucking Zs?

Trump Truly Is Working To Lose In A Landslide

Putting some dipshit from Breitbart into a leadership position in your campaign, then hiring fourth-rate empty-headed Republican blond Kellyanne Fitzpatrick Conway--seriously, if you are behind Ann Coulter and Laura Ingraham on the depth chart, you suck major ass--screams to everyone on Earth that you want to lose and lose badly, either because you lost a bet to Bill Clinton or because you are as big a fucking moron as you appear.  Either way, Trump is smashing his campaign into the rocks over and over hoping to drown every Republican running in 2016 before he jumps into his personal lifeboat. 

That's a good thing.  Rock on, Trump.

Maybelle Not

Jeffrey St. Clair With Bonus Mekons Content

Hillary, Trump.  Fuck that shit, it's the Mekons.  Mr. St. Clair drops some a tidbit about the last band that matters.

Probably Russian