Tuesday, April 24, 2018

Doctor Admiral Ronny Jackson Is Drunk Right Now And Sick Of So Much Winning

All that winning tastes like cheap gin when you're an admiral doctor.  Maybe Jackson can get even more shitfaced and go over to shitty doctor Ben Carson's house and make fun of Carson's picture of Klingon jesus.  That would at least be good tee vee.  Thanks, Trump!

Joy Reid, Ruh Roh

Careerist douchenozzle Joy Reid has a little bitty gay problem.  And she's lying about it.  Ruh-roh.  I think Reid is securely latched onto the bottom rung of the ladder leading up to the establishment media idiot village tee vee salon, so it's unlikely she'll get knocked off over fags.  But it's nice to be reminded that our media stars are terrible people in addition to being fucking morons.

The Federalist Gets More Insipid And More Addled By The Day, And Who Owns The Federalist, Anyway?

Maybe vapid conservative dipshit David Harsanyi knows who funds The Federalist.  Or maybe he doesn't.  He might not even care as long as his wingnut welfare jobs program check doesn't bounce!  It doesn't matter dumb you are when you get the same welfare noted plagiarist Ben Domenech-McCain gets!  Fun to watch 'em get all angsty as their kingdom of inanity crumbles, tho.

Call Him By His Name


Worthy Neo-Vintage Fisking Of The Weird, Rock-Ribbed Neoliberal Dolt And Creepy Homosexual Kurt Eichenwald

Unfortunately, the old favorite "live boy or dead girl" quip about life in the political universe is bullshit, because Eichenwald was caught with the live boy, but anywho, the weird gay stuff is not the real, or at least not the most important part of the story of the fatuous Kurt Eichenwald.  Eichenwald was always a buffoon, and a reliably rock-ribbed establishment conservative at that, but as outlined in the worthy long-form fisking by Alex Nichols, Kurt Eichenwald was from the very beginning a classic over-privileged twit, relentlessly failing upward with the imprimatur of that media establishment.  The fact that he got fucking crazier as he went along only means that Eichenwald has been a bit more entertaining over the years than the usual establishment village idiot, and in that he's quite a bit like Trump, actually.

Monday, April 23, 2018

Tankini


If You Can Find A More Evil Nation On Earth Than Israel, Nuke It

Business Insider is so fucking gross, it almost makes The Federalist seem sane.  Natalie Portman may be a horrible person and worse actress, but that's not saying much.  If Portman were a decent human, she would support the BDS movement completely, as all civilized humans do, and she would hate the Zionists utterly. 

The Black Gossip Kids Defending The Execrable Kanye West Is Not A Good Look

Not very smart.  Kanye is a cheap clown, risible moron, and two-bit hack, so when anyone tries to defend him, they wind up look like clowns themselves.  The only thing anyone should heap on Kanye is derision. 

Shania Twain: Sick Of All That Winning And Proof Mutt Lange Wasn't The Biggest Hack Moron In Canada

Apparently Shania's only real purpose is to make people think Mutt Lange was not a total fucking tool.  Otherwise, Shania's like a better-preserved, Canadian Sarah Palin.  Thanks, Trump.

Jonathan Alter On His Knees Lovingly Sucking The Dick Of The Conservative Establishment?

Shocking!  But Alter sees the truth.  Now is not the time for center-left Democrats.  Now is not the election to run any principled candidates.   No, this is the time for every Dem to rally around the rock-ribbed neoliberal status quo.  We can run on popular and obvious center-left ideas another time.  Of course.  Later.  Much later.

Sunday, April 22, 2018

We Couldn't Be Heros



Mitt? Mitt Romney? Sick Of All That Winning? Fuck, Yeah!

Trump should fucking love Mitt Romney since Romney is clearly one of the few Republicans who suck harder than Trump himself.  The only thing Trump's GOP can do is lose, and Romney is a yuge fucking loser.  Thanks, Trump!

Lance Armstrong: Beautiful Brave Exceptional American Asshole--And Greg LeMond Remains A TDF Champion

Patrick Redford goes off for the civilians in the audience, as cycling fans know this shit by heart after all these years.  But still, it's a fucking spectacle that Armstrong managed turn a can't-lose story of a true fucking hard guy monster bike racer into a nasty joke because Armstrong himself is such a fucking completely rotten and stupid motherfucker.  Probably worse than Armstrong the man was the army of idiot Americans who cheered him on when anybody with a functioning cerebral cortex could see good ole Lance was a doped as the rest of those fuckers in that race.  Add in the fact that Armstrong was a proud Texas shithead, and it became a recipe for brave beautiful American asshattery extraordinaire.  Armstrong was and is garbage and deserves whatever justice comes his way, karmic or otherwise.  Greg LeMond remains a champion and is probably the only person in this whole story who comes out looking like a fucking god.  LeMond was right all along, about cycling and Lance Armstrong.

Heely


Saturday, April 21, 2018

Somec Bikes Need To Be Painted In Neon Puke

Blue is not on point.  There's a thing as too much pantographing, too.  Columbus MS is cool, though.


Screaming Lunatic Trumptards Are Killing You

These are the saddest dimwits in the history of the universe.  Anyone this easily duped has no business living another second.  We should feel no pity at all for these sorry fuckers.  There's no longer any excuse for this shit.

The Black Gossip Kids Are The Bigger Idiots Because They Have More To Lose

Spoiled white kids can be neoliberal shitheads and obtuse Hillary lovers if they want, and it will never be a big deal because comfortable white people are one of the most protected classes of asswipe in America, but the black gossip kids, those folks have so much more to lose by being complete fucking dolts and vapid neoliberal stooges.  Far too many black voters fell for the lie that Bernie Sanders was somehow a racist old Jew who didn't care anything for the brothers and sisters out there in the hood.  That was nifty politics but utter bullshit, and that vile harpy Hillary managed to lose to Donald Trump when Sanders would have crushed Trump easily.  Oops.

Friday, April 20, 2018

Never


Trump Was Always A Pathetic Loser, Never Rich, And Forbes Magazine Was Always Shit

Never rich. Trump was never rich. Too bad Forbes couldn't figure that out in the 80s.  Forbes had Trump at $100 million and it was really $5 million.  Oops.  Plus Trump was weird and sad enough to pretend he was someone else in a pathetic attempt to get himself some rich guy cred.  This is all very creepy and stupid, but now it is a bigger problem than ever.  Brilliant!

In Guiliani, Trump Has Managed To Find The Only Bigger Beta Cuck Loser Left On Earth

Rudy Giuliani is pretty much the last guy left that Trump can push around.  Even Michael Cohen will trade jail time for Trump's scaly orange hide, so Giuliani is the only man left on the planet who is a bigger beta cuck loser than Trump himself.  Even Chris "Moby's Dick" Christie wouldn't debase himself this way now.  Thanks, Trump!

Thursday, April 19, 2018