Friday, January 20, 2017

Wildlife


Rachel Maddow And Karoli Kuns Should Be Ashamed: This Is Not A List Of Great Accomplishments

Fucking disgusting, as are the braying fools Maddow and Kuns.  If you are a gods-damned fucking US President and some stupid asshole lists high school graduation and credit card interest rate notifications as great accomplishments, then you should probably should have shot yourself in the fucking head after your first full week in office.  On everything we really needed, up to and including a massive change in the Democratic Party itself, Obama was a miserable failure.  Ask Leonard Peltier and Edward Snowden about Obama's great accomplishments.  Ask Merrick Garland.  Hell, ask Hillary Fucking Clinton about the great job Obama did for eight fucking years.  Jesus.  Ask some sick folks.  Union organizers.  Brown kids around the world missing limbs thanks to Obama's drone fetish.  Rotten fuckers. 

This stupid list is not a list of greatness--and is barely a list of accomplishments.  Some are just sad, and some are pretty okay, like Cuba.  And a deal to bring Iran into the 20th century was a pretty good thing, too, considering Iran is a huge fucking country right smack in the fucking middle of a very important part of the world.  Nothing mind-blowing, but pretty okay.  What was not apparent for the last eight years was just how fucking far up their own asses the doofs like Maddow and the rest had shoved their heads.  They pretended they were paying attention, and occasionally dislodged their skulls, but they weren't, and they never did.  At all.  As it turns out, today's Maddow is that same simpering careerist who was blowing her cranky old uncle Pat Buchanan under the desk on the tee vee all those years ago.

Political Song for The Children to Sing


Every Fire Needs A Little Bit Of Help

This little fucking half a bastard kid should be the President.  He sure handled Fox "News" better than most adults and made Leatherface's former pissboy Griff Jenkins look like the blithering fucking stooge he truly is.  And that kid is smart enough to hate Republicans.  Shoulda said fuck on the tee vee tho.

Remember All Those Idiot Obama Fluffers Who Said He'd Win On Merrick Garland

Those soft-headed bastards who believed Obama was some superman, ready to start being a good president any second now, they were the worst thing about the last eight years.  Obama was a timid, rock-ribbed establishment conservative, and those fluffers were sick sorry fuckers.  Well, now they're about to get exactly what they deserve.

Thursday, January 19, 2017

Your New Exceptional American Lifestyle


You Can't Swing A Bat On The Interwebs Without Smacking Some Racist Asshole Republicans

Like a weeping herpes sore on the rectum of humanity, these are your exceptional racist conservative Americans.  Why?  Why haven't they died out by now?  Why are they are all creepy pervs, too?  Thanks, Obama.

I Wonder How This Will End Badly

Maybe Ben Serotta will wind up as Assistant Secretary of Energy after this latest bike thing fizzles out.  Kinda sad that Frank the Welder is involved in this horseshit.  Wadelton seemed to have a knack for keeping on in the bike industry, always working even if some of the gigs were a little sketchy.  He was a legend with Yeti and is still in the game, but getting too close to Serotta could rub off some bad sununu.  Somebody should page Zathras.  Or maybe I just have an irrational dislike of everything Serotta now, atmo.  Thanks, Zathras.

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

How Soon Is Then


Basketball And Ireland: Two Things That Def Do Not Go Together

The Not-Boston Celtics.  Fun little story about some really pale folks and their love of the basketball.

Obama's Legacy Is Shit

Wicked fail.  Obama didn't get done anything that the nation needed done for eight long years.  Not that the idiot Trump will be any better, but it is all too likely that Obama failures will be more damaging than Trump's lunacy.  Obama never had any intention of being any sort of transformative leader, so he failed to take the opportunity to even consider the very real needs of American society.  Eight years wasted, and now we are looking at four years of unbridled fucktardery from Trump and his band of risible villains.  Exceptional!

Damn Near Killed Him


Pretty Fun Bike Ride

Body cam was a nice touch.  I'm guessing this guy is a doof and does his own wrenching.

Is Right


Tuesday, January 17, 2017

Obama Should Spend The Next Two Days Pardoning Everyone He Can

And throw in a couple of high-profile hot-takes to piss off the racists, like Leonard Peltier, Mumia Abu-Jamal, and Assata Shakur.  This would be proper justice for these political prisoners, but also wonderfully entertaining.  Unfortunately, Barack Obama is not really interested in justice.  Or entertainment.  Or beating down racists.

Obama Does The Right Thing For Chelsea Manning

Good.  Obama did something right here.  Manning's sentence was an atrocity, as were the conditions of her confinement.  It fucking sucks that Obama had to wait until the last fucking minute, but add this to the short list of shit Obama got right.

Monday, January 16, 2017

TV Party 4 U


On Robert E Lee Day We Celebrate Exceptional American Traitors And Other Racist Scum

Exceptional real American patriots don't have to pay no attention to anything the blahs want--we have Robert E. Lee Day!  Lee was a real American hero and not at all a dirty commie nigger.  Lee was a good christian white man.  And besides, Martin Luther King was a conservative.  He'd be a Republican today!  Yeah!  YEAH!!  He was a conservative!  One of us!!  Wait, what...

Gene Cernan Was The Last Man To Walk On The Moon

Except he didn't cuz FAKE!

Pretty soon all these guys are going to be dead, and there won't be any real astronauts left anywhere.  Sad.  Maybe if we could have done without a few aircraft carriers and nuclear warheads and wars over the last 50 years we would have a Mars colony by now, and we'd be up to our ears in real, live astronauts.  So the would the Martians!

Holy Shit, Even The Awful Springsteen Cover Band Won't Play For Trump

This is a fucking disaster for Trump.  Absolutely nobody will be seen with him.  Maybe he can hire some hookers to piss on the audience at the inauguration.  Make America piss again!

Riser


Concise Fisking Of Obamacare

On (the obvious) point.  Obama's health care initiative failed immediately, mostly because the Dems and Obama didn't have the good sense to demand something that would work AND would be easy to explain.  By deciding to coddle the insurance industry from the start, the end result was guaranteed to fail.  Exceptional!

Every Day Is A Good Day For A Mental-Defective Uncle Tom Like Jamie Melton

Another of the Trump clowns who would never be mistaken for a Nobel Prize winner.  Whatever is left of our society is being smothered by such horrible idiots like Melton.  Trump is just the logical conclusion of our exceptional American racist ignorance.  Uncle Tom!  Fuck Yeah!!

Thank Jesus Fucking Christ That Trump Will Make Sure This Is The Last MLK Day

Starting next year the third Monday in January will be the official Russian Piss Party Golden Shower day.

Sunday, January 15, 2017

Rain Over


Trump Needs Toms, And David Clarke Will Be There For Him!

Loathsome Uncle Toms For Trump!  Boo Fucking Yah.  Clarke is ready to sell out his people, basic decency, anything resembling sanity for Trump in 2017.  As bad as Obama was in so many ways--bad!!--he had many of the proper enemies, including shitbird lunatics like David Clarke.  Thanks, America.  Exceptional job.

Eddie Long Might Be The Only Decent Argument For The Existence Of A God

That disgusting evil bastard got exactly what he deserved: an ignominious death from AIDS.  Long was one of those vile hypocrite motherfuckers who deserved to suffer, so maybe there's a loving god out there somewhere after all.

Nah.

Next Up For Jerry Jones In 2017: A Donald Trump Celebrity Losers Piss Party

Let's hope Jones can bring Robert Kraft and Bill Belichick along as a loser's losers. 

Skip Bayless Always Striving To Be The Biggest Shitstain On The Planet

Bayless belongs with Trump.  He's the man Trump can count on!  Come on, Trump, get Skip Bayless on the team!

Is Alex Steffen The Risible Idiot Half-Brother Of The Ridiculous Eric Garland?

All signs point to yes.  Steffen is another blowhard nimrod without an ounce of credibility in anything, yanking away in a pathetic circle jerk with his bro Eric Garland.  Exceptional!

Know God, Know Fear

Is there anything dumber in human history than "praise and worship"?  Jesus, fucking assholes.

Fucking Packers

For once, the worst of the worst doesn't win.  The Dallas Cowboys are putrid scum even in comparison to the rest of the NFL, so good job Green Bay. 

Saturday, January 14, 2017

Political Song for Jennifer Holliday to Sing


When You've Lost Jennifer Holliday

You're pretty fucking low down.  Normally Holliday would warrant only a "Who?" but right now we are in the center of an exceptional American moment where absolutely nobody is willing to associated with the Trump shit show.  The fucking walking orange shitknob nominally is going to be the President of the United States, and yet only the greasiest of right-wing racist lunatics and feckless establishment politicians will have anything to do with him; the washed-up, Z-lest entertainment wannabees won't touch him--and those sorry fuckers could certainly use the work.  That's fucking startling.  And its own unexpected genius.