Tuesday, March 3, 2015

So, 'Last Man On Earth' Is Actually A Pomo 'Everybody Loves Raymond'

An annoying douchebag unfunny guy with a bitchy, awful wife ragging on his shit.  That's what it looks like after two episodes. 

Monday, March 2, 2015

Byron Allen: An Uncle Tom For The Fox Generation

Byron Allen proudly joins the ranks of vile Uncle Toms like Clarence Thomas, Allen West, Charles Payne, Ben Carson, Thomas Sowell, and Bill Cosby.  Allen is wicked fucking jealous of the cuddly Rev. Al Sharpton and his tee vee stylings.  Fox "News" loves these fuckers.

How Many More Things Did O'Reilly Not See?

Shit happened, but O'Reilly didn't see ANY of it!  Maybe the poor bastard is blind.  But he missed many of the biggest battles of the American Civil War.  He also was not really there sitting on the moon watching when the Apollo 11 landing happened.  Apparently he wasn't really there when the first humans left Africa.  I'm starting to believe that O'Reilly has never seen any fucking thing in his whole life.  I wonder who it was that knocked up his wife?

Phil Robertson Is America's Osama Bin Laden

It's almost as if Phil Robertson is some barbaric fundamentalist asswhipe, according to Sr. Papa.  Phil Roberston IS as big a nasty fucking cocksucker as Osama bin Laden ever was.  Phil Robertson is almost as big a fucktard as those disgusting Duggars.

In Truth Iron Maiden Is A Real-Life Spinal Tap

Or maybe it's Spinal Tap which is the real-life Iron Maiden. 

Sunday, March 1, 2015

Rand Paul: A True Friend To Idiots

Rand Paul is a fucktard superhero.  The CPAC dummies must be more spectacularly demented than anyone believed.

Where Are The Bodies On 'Last Man On Earth'? Where Are The Pets?

That virus musta' been pretty orderly to allow time to dispose of almost all or most of the dead by the last few victims before those last victims croaked.  Otherwise, it'd be a frakking mess.  That's really handy to not have to deal with that shit.  And the pets.  The feral pets who most likely would have been on their way to some sort of society.

Saturday, February 28, 2015

Frog Noises 4eva

Still always amazed at how uncomfortable they all look.  Peter Hook tries to ham it up, but the poor bastard has no idea what to do.  The rest of 'em look ill.  Fucking classic.  And this live take of the song is really the best version. 

Friday, February 27, 2015

Swoon Enough

DHS Gets Boehnered Right In The Pooper

On the one hand, fuck DHS. It's a creepy fascist concept and fuck it.  But on the other hand, the Repubs are supposed to be the tough-guy security hawks, and it's fucking hilarious that they can't even stroke themselves off properly.  This is squarely a John's Boehner fuckup, and let's hope a couple of Dems give up the decaf long enough to smack the speaker in the head with their wieners. 

Is Trump A Sad Object Of Pity Or A Wonderfully Hilarious Wingnut Asshole?

The more Trump talks, the more you have to vote 'mental defective' or 'creeping senility'.  But he's such a foaming fucknozzle that all gods-fearing good Americans can't help but laugh at Donald Trump.

Koch Sucker Tee Vee

"Lying Pantsuit Lady."  LPL.  That's good.  And that actress is indeed an American institution, but I've always seen those ads as so slimy and so fucking stupid that I never really took her all that seriously.  The Frakking nonsense is so fucking dumb, and those ads really don't help their frakking cause unless you are a complete fucking ignorant dipshit.  Oh...

She's a looker for a woman of her age, though.  Gotta agree with that shit.  Not a fan of the shoes she wears with the lying pantsuit, either.

Even Vulcans Don't Live Forever

Nimoy had a good run--those uber shitty Abrams Trek movies an incredibly unfortunate misstep, but now only Kirk is still kicking.  How the fuck did Shatner manage to live this long?  Is his rug some sort of life-sustaining technology? 

New The The? Really? Brilliant

This is unexpected and super fucking fab.  Since I have no idea where he'll go with this, I have no expectations to exceed or not.  That doesn't mean I'm not psyched to hear Matt Johnson is going to bring The The back.

Political Song for The Onion to Sing

Is The Best You Can Do, Onion AV Club?

Really?  I kinda detest synth-pop under most circumstances, but the article does a decent job at a quick & dirty overview right before the essentials list fucks up by leaving off the new romantic side of things, the side which brought both the pop and the fun.  I don't get it.  Did two different people work on the thing without any communication at all?  Jesus.

Mosul Is In Iraq & The USA Destroyed Iraq

Those pathetic ISIS fuckers may have broken the artifacts, but it was the USA that broke all of Iraq and made this latest destruction possible. 

Thursday, February 26, 2015

Breathe Control

Archer Was Pretty Fuckin' Good Tonight

The hot tub, the Bulllitt Mustang, Slater being a dick, pretty fucking good.  I wonder how long they can keep it up, but so far Archer has been consistently surprisingly entertaining.

10 Hours Of Narwhals Makes More Sense Than CPAC

Little Fascist Bastards, Local Chicago Radio Edition

When you wonder how the most banal of evils got away with it so easily, remember all the little fascist bastards out there digging their own graves because they're too stupid to do anything else.

CPAC: The Most Fucktarderyest Time Of The Year

Like those swallows returning to swallow even more batshit insanity, CPAC is back.  The best idea would be to round up all the attendees and speakers and drop them from a great altitude onto ISIS or North Korea or Alabama.  That would be the greatest thing in American history.

At Least This Happened: Eric Cantor Lost Big To A Risible Teabagging Moron

Now he's a loser, well-paid but still a loser, who has to suck up to the winners.  That's a tiny joy, but it is a joy to remember nonetheless.  Cantor was one of the big boys of the Republican hegemony but he got skull-fucked by his own peasants. 

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Sleep E

The Priests Of The Temple Of Ceres

Cool shit.  These are great days for space exploration; the data about our solar system are flying in all the time now.  Seeing Ceres up close is amazing!

And, no, I'm not the biggest Rush fan in the world, and I think Neil Peart is a clumsy lyricist and a comically misguided and ridiculously pointless drummer, but jesus fracking christ it should have Ceres not Syrinx.  Yes, I know who Syrinx is and what a syrinx is, but Ceres is the mystery planet hiding out between Mars and Jupiter.  I'd pray to that temple way before fucking Syrinx. 

Can We Hope For A Rogue CIA Op Or Asteroid Strike When Netanyahu Comes To Town

We need something good to happen, and I think not-quite-official CIA assassination or miraculous asteroid impact right on target would be just the sort of good thing every American needs right now. 

At This Point, Bill O'Reilly Is Self-Fisking More Furiously Than He Masturbated In That Shower With That Falafel

Billo is a sick fuck.  He's more than a disgusting sexual harasser and impotent cuckold, he's an addle-headed lying piece of shit!  It does suck that he won't lose his job or be run out of town on a rail over this shit, but we still have the wonderful entertainment of O'Reilly being outed as one of the biggest losers in American history.

Run Away Runoff Rahm! Far Away!!

Runoff Rahm. Sounds kinda nice.  Emanuel got fucked by the voters because he's been the shittiest mayor anyone could have ever imagined.  He made enemies, and I pray to the gods that he made enough of those enemies to lose him his fucking office!

Rude Pundit Has A Threeway With Ben Carson And Phyllis Schlafly

Lee Papa gets up close and personal while Ben Carson eats out Phyllis Schlafly to bring us all the beauty and the passion.  Carson and Schlafly are a teabagger fucktard dream couple; he's black and hates blacks, and she's a womans and hates womens.  Nothing the conservative dipshits love more than minority traitors to their own interests. 

BREAKING!!! Ron Paul Is A Nasty Racist Asshole

Who knew?  I think more than being a vile racist teabagging creep for his whole fucking life, poor old Ron Paul is feeling more than a little jealous of the mainstream cred RAND Paul is getting from the Republican and rock-ribbed mainstream conservative media establishment(s).  Ron never got so much love, but all of the sudden the idiot spawn is player, and the mean old guy can't handle it.

That, and the fact that Ron Paul has been a horrible racist cretin for nearly 80 fucking years, so he can't even try to hide it since the creeping senility set in about 60 of those years ago.