Monday, October 5, 2015

New Knolly Delirium

Years late, the Delirium returns with 650B wheels, no front derailleur, and very ugly curvy tubes.  And only two colors.  Not sure why the Knolly is even here, and I would have a hard time picking that Knolly for 2016 over the Canfield Balance.  Or the made-in-USA Guerrilla Gravity Megatrail.  You can get a pink Megatrail and even 26" wheels just in case you know better even if you can't have a front derailleur--but nobody gives you that choice.  (Well, Canfield does.)  The Knolly might be fucking super, even if the linkage looks overly complex and fragile, but I can't help but think they've missed their moment with this. 

Disgustingly Ignorant Fucknut Assholes Of The Day, Exceptionally American Division

Vile stupid cocksuckers are exceptionally American!  No other place on Earth and no other planet in the Universe has such useless and loathsome motherfucking dipshits as we do.  I guess we can thank jesus for that shit.  Good job, dickhead.

Rush Limbaugh Presents The Waters Of Mars

Unroll the tinfoil! It's a conspiracy!  Once again, Limbaugh is way ahead of the curve on this exceptional American truth.  You see, the Dems and commies and faggots and feminazis invented science to hurt the Republicans at the polls.  Science is a lie and only exceptional teabaggers can save America from those godless scienentitians.  Those bastard Dems probably invented Mars just to piss off Republicans, too.

If Trump Falls, The Republicans May Have To Nominate Pizza Rat

If Trump does not become president, the Republicans probably have no hope.  Jeb! is about to whip out his retarded brother, the worst and least popular president in the history of exceptional America, iCarly is not only a liar and a rancid creep, but is also a fraud, and Ben Carson is apparently a junkie based on the way he acts in public--plus Armstrong Williams, who is way in the back of that closet with many, many other Republicans.

The only glimmer of hope the Republicans would have after Trump is probably Pizza Rat.  Pizza Rat will not beat Hillary, but the rodent will be a better loser and more popular after the election than Mitt Romney.

El Popo Has People Who Try To Fix It After He Looks Like A Maxi Douche

So, Pope who's tryin' to look cool, relatively, gets fucked by a meeting with a rancid teabagging moron, and apparently he doesn't like getting fucked that way.  Lucky for El Popo he's got people to fix that shit.  Or try, at least.  Francisco also has people to take the trash, old-school.  I'd imagine El Popo would like to go literally medieval on that stupid bastard Carlo Maria Vigano's ass.  That might do a bit to repair El Popo's image with the reality-based community.

Roger Waters The Man Rocks Way Harder Than Pink Floyd Ever Did

Roger Waters, Si!  I could not really give a fuck about Pink Floyd; they sucked pretty much 100% of the time, but righteously pissed off Roger Waters is a ton of fucking fun away from music.  His brave stand on Palestine is something we should see way more of in our stupid society.  We let the fascist assholes and reactionary fuckheads get off too easy on the atrocities on in Palestine.

Sunday, October 4, 2015

And Now The Twits Are All A Twitter Over Moots Maybe Going The Way Of Serotta And/Or IF

Seriously.  But why?  Moots hasn't been anything special for many many years.  I am amazed at their ability to sell very expensive titanium frames, and that's fine, just fine, but to my eye their bikes are either nothing special or heinously fucking ugly.  Moots frames lack elegance, and I think that comes from the small factory aspect of the brand.  Why buy a Moots if you want something special and be forced to pay a huge premium on top of the already very dear frame price when you can buy what I consider a legitimate Moots frame, Eriksen, or a titanium frame with much more elegance and is all custom that comes from a true custom builder, Carl Strong?  That's the question.  Skip Moots and let 'em go the way of Serotta if that's their fate, and get a much better and better looking ti frame if that's what makes you all wet and sticky atmo from Strong or Eriksen.  Your welcome.

Spooky Misunderstood Genius, Of Course

Gone, another failure for Spooky bikes.  I mean the second incarnation of Spooky did make one good aluminium road bike one time for a great price that was a freeking cool thing, but other than keeping FTW busy a couple of days a week for year or so, really what the fuck was it worth?  Not a fucking thing. Nothing.  Rock on, motherfrakking losers.

In 2015, Dallas At New Orleans On NBC With Those Two Assholes

Surely demands a streaking fucking asteroid to obliterate not only the game but the entire fucking planet.  Come on jesus and the rest of you invisible fictional morons, chop chop.

Saturday, October 3, 2015

Now We're Pretty Sure Bill Cosby Will Be Trump's Vice President

Inevitability.  We don't have to like it, but we better get used to it.  Cosby brings so much to the ticket that not even a Duggar or Subway Jared can match that mofo mojo.  The only way that Cosby gets bumped is if Trump needs Hope Solo to get the ladies' vote.

David Limbaugh Is A Walking Rectal Suppository

This might be the first demonstrable miracle in human history, proof that Rush Limbaugh is not the biggest fucking moron in his family.  David Limbaugh is exactly the sort of grade-Z loser clogging up America with greasy shit and burying hope and progress 100 feet deep.

And Obama And The Dems Glorious Victories On Gun Control Are What?

Exactly?  I mean, yeah, I know that jealousy is never an attractive quality, but when ineffectual meets petty and births greasy inanity, well, that's just nasty.  Xpecially if you are, well, you know...

Friday, October 2, 2015

Obama Did The Work Of The True Gods Getting Mildly Pissed About Another Mass Shooting In Exceptional America

The guntard teabagger types are all sorts of pissed at Obama--and they are scared shitless of what might happen to their infantile violent fetish.  Watching Fox "News" and seeing all the stuttering and flop sweat and animal terror has been decently entertaining.  Even the shitbags at the NRA know they will get beaten one of these times some all-American patriot fuckhead shoots up a school or a daycare or something, and they are doing all they can to make sure it's next time and not this time.  So, let's see if the Dems have learned to keep up the pressure and crack the resolve of the bad guys once and for all.  I'm betting no.  But you never know.  Obama took a baby step.  Who's next?

Superchunk 2015 DOES Feature One Original Member

Just sayin'.

(Surf) Boarding Bites

PSA: MSNBC Dumped Schultz And Sharpton And Reid But Kept

Mrs. Alan Greenspan and Brian Williams and that fucking idiot Luke Russert.  Just sayin'.  The next time you hear someone on MSNBC and say to yourself 'that sounds reasonable', remember the fucking source.

Thursday, October 1, 2015

Irate Obama Is About Seven Years Late

Welcome to the party, pal.  Obama has been cool as fuck for his presidency, mostly because he didn't want his administration to be the constant target of every chickenshit racist guntard, rock-ribbed senile Bill O'Reilly viewer, out and proud dittohead, and unhinged Glenn Beck fellator trying to off the uppity nigger president.  That is not totally unreasonable, and given the amount of racist insanity Obama's white house tenure has loosed from every tawdry shithole in the land, probably a pretty good call.  Apparently now's the time for a little life from Obama, getting pissed about our exceptional guntard overlords.  More than a few folks would have appreciated some of this rationality a bit sooner.

Atrios Signal Boosts The Best Of Christopher Hitchens

Brutalizing a legit human monster, Henry Kissinger.  Hitchens was not even 1/2 as clever as he thought he was, and the second half of his public life was a sad joke beyond anything resembling an embarrassment, but Hitchens was doing the gods' work when he savaged the vile war criminal and first class motherfucking piece of shit Henry Kissinger.  Hitchens fucking with loathsome Mother Teresa was pretty fun, too.

Yes, Finally, America IS Exceptional

We have exceptional mass shootings!  The one thing American can do!  Be ruled by the dumbest motherfuckers on the planet, the NRA lunatics and the rest of the guntard cocksuckers, and murder ourselves in exceptional ways no other nation can manage.  Or would allow.

The USA is not the smartest or the strongest or the richest or the best lookin' or the freest or the safest or the bravest or the toughest or the best at anything except vulgar stupidity and atrocious violence.  American exceptionalism IS real.  Yay!

Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Kevin McCarthy, Teabagging Fucking Genius

Meet the Republican party's newest certified rocket surgeon.  McCarthy has spent the last few days shitting his pants worrying that the more enthusiastic teabaggers were gonna take him out before he could even begin to fail at being Speaker, but that can't possibly excuse McCarthy's fucking idiocy.  Saying something true in politics is always a disaster, and McCarthy may have done what Hillary Clinton could not do: guarantee another fucking President Clinton!  Brilliant!

So, iCarly Fiorina Is A Liar And Incompetent

Got it.  iCarly was an astounding failure as a CEO and Senate candidate and these days spends her time being a risible liar.  That's fucking genius.  What's left for her?  Amway?  Pitching gold or reverse mortgage scams on the tee vee?

Negativeland Had It Right, El Popo Proves It Again

El Popo Fucks Up Royally By Meeting That Dumb Cunt Kim Davis

Yes, El Popo is the head of the catholic church, one of the truly horrific and atrocious organizations in human history, easily as disgusting and evil as the Republican Party, the 700 Club, USA Teabaggers, and the Country Music Association.  Yes, but that stupid bastard Francisco should have known better than to provide succor to such miserable cocksuckers as Kim Davis and her supporters.  The evil of the catholic church is legion, and no matter how the catholics in America try to downplay the meeting and play dumber than usual, El Popo fucked up majorly with this bullshit.  Bad pope!  Bad!  Shame!!

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Freedom Is Choice

At Last Something Honestly, Truly Exceptional In America: Shout Your Abortion

Yes!  This.  Pull reality into the light for the one or two ignorant fuckwits out there who are able to learn and process legit thought.  Women standing for truth, justice, freedom, healthcare, and the American way is the sort of exceptional behave we need way more of around here.  Reproductive choice and abortion and healthcare are what freedom really look like!

Cecile Richards' Victory Lap On Maddow

Good.  This is the sort of shit they should have opened with, as soon as those teabagging fucktards came out with risible minstrel video show.  Kick the bastards and stand up for yourselves.  Richards and Maddow are killing it tonight.  Moar please.

Cecile Richards Was A Fool For Ever Apologizing

Those braindead shitbirds in Congress tried to bully Richards, but she wasn't having any of it.  If only she hadn't conceded at the outset and instead fought the lies all along.  The Republicans are making themselves look even dumber than usual with this shit, so maybe we'll get something decent out of it.

Trump's Exceptional Fuck Dynasty

Donald Trump and the Duck Dynasty shitheads certainly deserve each other.  We can look forward to so many more wonderful seasons of fucking and dynasties and other horrific tee vee abortions during the glorious reign of President Trump.


Who's More Tedious In Their Senescence, The Simpsons Or Doctor Who?

Boring and tired is always bad.  The Simpsons is fossilized.  Capaldi is doing fine, just fine on Who, but jesus it's so played out.

Your Punk Rock Dad Writes Books Too

He's wicked schmart.  Greg Graffin is not only cooler than your dad, he's cooler than you.  And his band is better.