Saturday, May 27, 2017

In Explicable

This Boarding School Father Is Really Fucking Creepy

This post is legendary on the twit homestead of College Confidential, and the purported seven father sounds sincere, but as you read through it you realize he's an entitled creep.  First off, thinking that Groton school is somehow tainted because a kid couldn't handle it is fucking stupid.  Believing that St. Paul's does not share your family values--but DuPont vanity school St. Andrew's does--probably means your family values are icky and gross.  The only decent people, or should I say best people on that forum, are the ones who don't give their opinions so much as try to get the twits to think for themselves.  A few scamps who like to stir the shit and rub the noses of the simpering, sanctimonious, over-privileged twatwaffles on that board in their own idiocy are also cool in my book.  Rock on, sisters and brothers!

John's Boehner: Mee-Oww!

John's rock-hard reactionary little Boehner is also a total bitch.  As funny as this shit-talking is, essentially no one is talking about just how unusual it is that someone of Boehner's stature in the Republican Party would go after a new GOP president so fucking hard.  Clearly there is a segment of the GOP which has decided Trump is not worth the effort any longer if that lush Boehner is willing to drag his drunken ass away from the bar long enough to go shit on Trump in public like that.  Fun times.  Thanks, Trump!

Another Glorious Victory For Second Amendment Patriots In The Struggle Against Children

Those brave young NRA poster-children who stood their ground against dangerous six year old Kingston Frazier must really love the Constitution.  They knew that it was most important to exercise their rights to be murderous shitstains because FREEDUMB is always under assault in America.  Six year old children are often the enemy of freedumb, obviously, so thank the gods that well-armed psychopaths are out there to exercise their constitutional rights all over them.  Fuck Yeah!

Donald Trump Is Worthless And Weak In His Medicare Scooter

Sad.  Pathetic.  Exceptionally pathetic.  This fucking senile lard-ass Trump can't even waddle his way through Taormina along with the rest of the G7 weasels.  Jesus, what an impotent beta cuck.

I Don't Think The Red Letter Media Fellers Like The New Alien Movie Much

Jeez.  They sound sad.  Heh.

Musta Got Lost

Friday, May 26, 2017

Giving Carolyn The Finger

Charles Payne Is The Ultimate Beta Cuck Uncle Tom

Chuncky Chuck is always willing to do whatever his massa wants.  He has no capacity for shame and no good sense, so Charles Payne is perfect Uncle Tom for Trump's exceptional America.

Hey! Tejay Van Garderen, Nice Win

Great win in the best race, and nobody can take that away.  Van Garderen is a fucking divisive figure, so a great many people enjoy shitting all over no matter what, but out on the road, he snagged a nice win.  A stage in the Giro like that is fucking awesome.

Simon Jenkins Is Smarter Than The Average Limey

Corbyn is right.  When you spread chaos and murder throughout the land, eventually you pay the price at home.  The Brits have been smiling piss-boys to America's bloody empire, and now they are enjoying the natural outcome of their adventures.  Genius!

James Comey Is An Idiot--Blame Obama

Obama is the fucking reactionary nitwit who put this fucktard in charge of the United States national police force.  Brilliant!  Comey was apparently easily duped into believing an obviously fake document might be released and then decided for some fucking reason to treat it as legitimate.  That's a special kind of genius right there.  The Russian "subversion" of our sacred democracy amounted to nothing more than a few half-hearted juvenile attempts to fuck with some idiots and troll the press, but our august elites couldn't tell that a few bullshit items written in purple crayon were fakes, so they lost what little minds they had.  I'm so glad Barack Obama used his office to place Comey and his ilk in such a position of influence at such a delicate time.  Jesus.

Is It Fair To Want The Black Gossip Kids To Be Sharper Than The Rest Of The Gossip Kids?

Surely not.  But much like when you see a black Republican or a black Hillary supporter, it's infuriating because somehow the African-American experience should, at some level, work against being a mundane clueless asshole like the average white idiot.  That's not the case though, and reading comprehension is hard no matter your complexion, obviously.  Jesus, it's not like the fucking Handmaid's Tale was gods-damned Finnegans Wake or anything.  The most egregiously unrealistic thing in the book was not the ethnic cleansing of all the non-whites, but instead the new nation being called Gilead.  Any real theocratic teabagging America would retain USA in its new name, like Saviour's Republic of the United States or some shit like that.  No old-timey, Jewey, old-Testament name would cut it with your average bed-wetting Proud Boy.

Thursday, May 25, 2017

Montana Is Not Going To Be A Win For The Dems

Somehow, the Dems can't seem to win, no matter what.  If this goes on another coupla decades, we may be able to discern a pattern or something.

He Went To Jared!

Whoops!  Here's a pro tip: don't let your idiot son in law do any important work around the Russkies.  If he was so fucking stupid his dad had to spend millions of dollars to get him into Harvard, he probably can't be trusted with anything important.  Just sayin'. 

That bellowing you hear is the joyous call of the fattest white whale of them all, Chris Christie.

Days Of Wine And Grizzlies

Don't pet the bears.  And understanding where the fuck you are is probably the key and not whether somebody's on their period.  The bears don't really fucking care, but they are fat and lazy opportunists that can rip your arms off, so better to stay way far away from them and take every proper precaution when you're in bear country.  Worrying about icky girls and their scary periods seems somewhat futile.

Sean Spicer Is The Last Man On Earth The Most Exceptionally Weak Beta Donald Trump Can Cuck

And he cucked him with a pope!  Sad, weak little Sean Spicer just wanted to meet a pope, but Trump knew Spicer was the only man in the world beta enough that he, Trump, could still cuck, so he cucked teary babyman Sean Spicer right there in front of everyone.  Thanks, Trump.

Ruh-Roh, Hannity Takes A Fox "News" "Vacation"

Sure, he'll be back they say, but can Fox "News" be trusted?  Bill "The Mad Jerk-Off" O'Reilly had to take a Fox "News" "vacation" as well.  Heh, indeedy.

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Rory Gilmore

Julian Assange Is A Great Man

Assange did what few would be willing to do: face a great and murderous and corrupt empire with little protection because it was the right thing to do.  Assange became an enemy of that empire but has managed to survive this long.  The work of WikiLeaks was slowed but not stopped, and Assange has had his reputation assassinated by the people who are so very fearful of the truth being known.  That tells you Assange was right all along.  The proper enemies is a sure sign of virtue.  Assange is a great man.

Donald Trump: Exceptional Submarine Cuck

Trump's such a blubbering beta he gets cucked by two-bit street thugs like Rodrigo Duterte.  That's just fucking brilliant.  What would Trump do if a real leader ever came along, shit himself?

Thanks, Trump

David Clarke Is America's Most Exceptionally Embarrassing Cuck

Sad.  And stupid.  Imagine being too dumb and unqualified for the FUCKING TRUMP ADMINISTRATION!  Jesus, there's never been a bigger risible loser than David Clarke!

Fifth Amendment Flynn Is America's Tiniest Cuck

Michael Flynn is a beta's beta. The biggiest pussy in America. Afraid of Congress.  I wonder if his mom still makes him wear rubber pants to bed every night, too?

Why, Yes, Trump Has Always Been A Fucking Moron

He was born dumb and will die the same.  Anybody who knew him and was honest has said the same thing.  Donald Trump is a zero.  Always was, always will be.

That Motherfucker Trump

Trump is a gods-damned pussy cocksucking motherfucker for giving up on Holy Joe Lieberman!  All the fucking high-calorie entertainment we could have enjoyed watching that shitbird sell out Trump on the 24-hour cable news tee vee might just have make us happy for a time.  Bastard!

Bleating Addle-Headed Reactionary Cuck Of The Day, Today

This squealing pig-fucker.  There are hundreds of millions of reasons why America will never be great ever, and this asshole is one of 'em.

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Political Song for Sean Hannity to Sing

Fox "News" Is The World's Finest "News" Source

More embarrassing than Bill O'Reilly getting caught by his wife jerking off on the phone with Donald Trump's favorite pay-by-the-minute Indochine ladyboy.  At least now we can look forward to watching Sean Hannity cry on his show tonight.

Spoiled Twits Being Twits

Bitchy!  But when you are an over-privileged twit, the world is yours to complain about brainlessly.

And Kent School Was Home To Choate Abuser Bjorn Runquist For Many Years!

Choate is nothing if not generous!  Their abusive teachers have gone far and wide, at least far and wide-ish--Adam Hardej took his hard-edged douchebro act to California right after Choate; Chuck Timlin made it as far as West Haven; Kenny Mills went six feet under.  It's odd that Bjorn does not mention Choate in his official bio.  Hmmm.  Maybe he was never really there.  Could that be?  No.  Cheyenne Montgomery remembers Bjorn Runquist at Choate.

The Gunnery Got In On The Choate Sex Abuse Action With Jaime Rivera-Murillo And Chip Lowery

The Gunnery is not the most famous boarding school in the world, but they got in on the Choate abuse story with a couple of their teachers.  I guess that is how the smaller schools get some publicity out in the big wide world.

Nazis And Japs: Getting The Band Back Together

Jesus, what fucking year is this?  And now they can have a special guest appearance of Donald Trump playing Fritz Julius Kuhn.  What a show!  I wonder if they're gonna invite the Wops?  But you would think that Japan at least would think twice about this fascist shit, as the last time didn't end so well for them.

Trump In Israel

Sunday, May 21, 2017

Manly Men

Alex Jones And Donald Trump Will Stop The Chemtrails!

Fuck Yeah!  Those two acclaimed intellects are gonna save us from humidity!

I Fucking Love The Comments On This Article--CHEMTRAILS ARE TOTALLY REAL, DUDE!

Teabagging mental-defectives who've never seen an airliner or a cloud before totally understand science, though.  LIAR!  Jesus, how can so many people be so fucking stupid?

What The Fuck Was Joey Ramone Doing On The Sun City Song?

Besides shitting on Reagan, which I guess is really way more than enough.  But jesus, that song is a mess; I get that Little Miami Steve van Zandt is a true fan of soul and blues and jazz and shit, but jamming all those folks into that performance is not pretty.  Plus Springsteen ruins everything he touches.  And jeez wasn't Bono young.  And a shit ton of those people were alive!  Darlene Love from Lethal Weapon is in it, too.

More Than One Way To Punch A Nazi

Cowardly uber-cuck Richard Spencer gets beat-down by a woman!  What a glorious day in the history of Nazi pussies.  Thanks, Trump!

Junkie Galen Tyrol Cosplayer Gregg Jarrett Is Back On The Smack

Mueller's gotta go!  So says the Fox "News" junkie Galen Tyrol.  Well, that's just fucking peachy, so I'm sure Bob will be quitting any second now...