Monday, December 18, 2017

UFOs R Real!!!

Harry Reid, Starring As Ed Straker, Sings 'Books About UFOs'

Harry Reid, commander of SHADO.  Only a fool thinks they shut down the program.  They found the proof.  Now they're working day and night to stop the alien threat.  Join Harry Reid as Ed Straker, Joe Biden as Alec Freeman, and Barack Obama as Paul Foster and watch as they resist the alien menace!  UFO!

Conservative Christians Are Too Stupid For College

This idiot parent doesn't seem to know that her little christian is already a huge, herpes-ridden slut or a gleeful gay blowjob queen, and that the whole family should be banned for all colleges due to stupidy.  Jesus fucking christ, christians are fucking scum.

Steelers Versus Patsies Is Yet More Proof Of The Fundamental Evil Of The Universe

The rule is not the problem--it's easy to understand, runner vs receiver--whether you like it or not, but the simple fact that the Steelers playing the Patriots did not end with a rip in the fabric of the universe imploding the entire contest before that dumb play proves the universe is pure evil.

Saturday, December 16, 2017

Political Song for the GOP to Sing

Pretty New Neville Cork Content

That's not something anyone expected in 2017.  Apparently he's still got his frame building gear and might want to show you how it's done...

Trump Needs Steven Seagal In The White House Right Fucking Now

Secretary of State. Chief of Staff. National Security chief!  Something!  Trump needs Seagal ASAP.  This guy's vital!

Teabagging Trumptards Are The Dumbest Motherfuckers Ever

These dipshits believe every lie they are told, but they can't figure out anything true for themselves.  Every teabagger is a helpless stooge, being violated every day by the idiots who run the GOP.  These bastards deserve their fate, but at some point we have to stop allowing them to be the foot soldiers of America's decline.  Anyone stupid enough to think that somehow tens of thousands of people voted illegally in an election is beyond any form of help.  The screaming lunatics at InfoWars are only the most risible of America's exceptional assholes.

Thursday, December 14, 2017

Beautiful GOP Stalwart And Exceptional American Patriot Dan Johnson Was Sick To Death Of All The Winning

Enjoy hell you sick fucking bastard!  I'm sure this scumbag Johnson will be keeping a seat warm and the razor-sharp demon cocks hard for Roy Moore and Jerry Sandusky and a whole bunch of other world-famous Republican creeps in full view of Satan's throne.  Thanks, Trump!

Wednesday, December 13, 2017


Oh, No, RIP Pat DiNizio

Pretty sudden, though he had been sick the band was planning another tour.  That sucks.

Girls Girls Girls

Have The National Dems Learned The Lesson Of Alabama?

No, probably not.  The Dems are not going to do everything to build a vibrant constituency and bring out huge numbers of African Americans and other minorities, working class non-minority voters, aka cracker assholes, women, younguns at every fucking election.  Nope, the Dems will probably continue chugging along as the lame little brother of the GOP and continue to lose most of the races they should be winning--or would be winning if they represented a clear alternative to rock-ribbed conservative neoliberal bullshit.

Chris Froome Registers The Least Surprising 'No Shit' Failed Drug Test In Recent History

No. Shit.  Froome and Team Sky are the Lance Armstrong/USPS for this decade.  What a bunch of wankers.

Tuesday, December 12, 2017

It's Official: Trump Is Sick In The Head From Not Winning

No winning for Trump.  He's sick.  Sick in the head.  Everything Trump touches turns to shit.  Everyone Trump backs is a loser.  A good day for the country and the world.  MMAAAGGGGAAAAA!

Steve Bannon Must Be Sick Of Winning

Bannon sure looks like a loser this year.  Is he sick?  Sick of too much winning?  Does Bannon even know what winning really is? 

Charles Barkley Is Not Sick Of The Winning

Big Alabama guy on CNN right now from the Jones HQ.  Is he drunk?  Or just happy?  Or is the answer Alabama.  But Barkley is calling for the Dems to be better for the black folks and the poor folks in Alabama and beyond.  Nice.  Thanks, Mr. Barkley.

Roy Moore Is Sick To Death Of All The Winning!

Where's the winning for Moore?  Where's the winning for Trump?  First, Trump's man loses in the primary and then Trump's next man loses in the general!  MMAAAGGGGAAAAA!

InfoWars Is Losing Their Shit As The Race Was Called For Jones

A couple of the A-ball dipshits are blubbering their way through the call right now.  Pretty fucking hilarious.  Thanks, Trump!

Laura Ingraham's Low-Rent Facelift Is Full-On Uncanny Valley Tonight

The stress of Moore's risible loss is making her strip-mall plastic surgery look especially bad tonight.  Holy christ, she was homely woman before but now she looks like a Chinese knock-off dollar-store sex doll.  Jesus.

The NYT Election Widget Is Pretty Fun

A good design. Fun to watch as the results come in.  Watching the Roy Moore stuff coming in is even better!  Fox "News" is lots of fun tonight as well.

What's Worse For The GOP? Win Or Lose?

Short-term a loss means Trump has to eat a Roy Moore shit sandwich in public till christmas.  Fun!  But long-term, watching those Republican cocksuckers in the Senate try and deal with Moore will be a beautiful expression of American exceptionalism. 

Roy Moore's Jewwy Jew Lawyer Will Never Be Sick Of All The Winning

And by winning, we mean money, right Shylock.  This is such a wonderful expression of beautiful conservative Republican racist values that I think I need a cigarette. 

Jesus Frakking Christ, Arne Carlson Shows More Brains Than Any 30 Dem Senators

Of course, Carlson is not Kirsten Gillibrand angling to get rid of Franken in order to raise her own profile and eliminate rivals in the run-up to the next presidential election, either.  But good on Carlson for seeing the ratfucking and calling out the cowardice and stupidity on the Dems' side.  Jeez, a GOP guy who might not be a complete fucktard.  How might that happen?

V Little