Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Political Song for Ed Rendell to Sing

Maureen Faulkner Is A Nasty Piece Of Work, But

Not as nasty as that Fox whore Megyn Kelly.  You might have sympathy for Faulkner because her husband was shot, but for all these years she's been nothing but ignorant and hateful and a tool of racist assholes like Megyn Kelly's masters at Fox "News".  Maureen Faulkner lost her husband, but Mumia didn't do it.  Or, at least, the state didn't prove it.  That's what Maureen Faulkner should be pissed off about, the fact that an innocent man may have been railroaded by vile cocksuckers like Ed Rendell.  Or if Mumia did do it, then why couldn't they prove it.  Rendell did more to destroy justice in the Faulkner case than Mumia did.  Maureen Faulkner could have made America a better place after her loss by demanding justice, real justice, true justice, and fighting against racism and corruption, but she didn't.  She took the easy way out and blamed the black guy.  I have no respect for Maureen Faulkner; she comes across as a racist harpy after all this time.  That dude from Goddard College, though, he made Megyn Kelly eat shit.  That was pretty neat.  And then the non-stop ads for feminine itch cream.  On Megyn Kelly's show.  Okay, then.

Meanwhile This Fucking Duggar Idiot

Instead of bombing ISIS, we should be bombing these evil Duggar motherfuckers.  They're a billion times nastier than ISIS could ever hope of being.  Any religious maniac is shit, not just the ones sitting on top of our gods-given oil.

So, I Read 'Divergent'

And boy was it bad.  I was lobbied, and I put it off as long as I could but finally had to do it.  Sucky.  Hella sucky.  And really dumb.  Dumb in the same way The Hunger Games was dumb.  It wasn't that this book was too mature for a eight or nine year old; it was too stupid for anyone of any age.  There wasn't anything my daughter couldn't handle, but given the subject matter, by all rights there should have been.  16-20 year old kids--hell, even the 13-15 kids, too--put into the Dauntless faction would be fucking each other up one side and down the other.  The boys with the girls.  The boys with the boys.  The girls with the girls.  It would have been just like high school with absolutely no rules.  Kids raging with hormones put into life and death struggles left to their own devices would be non-stop.  Fucking, fucking, fucking.  The first stop for the Dauntless kids would have been to get the birth control shot.  Then shoot guns and punch and shit.  It wouldn't have been crying keeping Tris awake; it would have been the sound of beds squeaking and much worse.  But then, the book would have been a little realistic but would not have been for the kids, and the money would have gone bye-bye.  And Jesus would not have been happy for children who had a bit of fun with each other because what the fuck else are they supposed to do?  Jesus hates children.  This shit, like The Hunger Games and Twilight, is really an insult not only to literature but also to humanity.

Charles Ramsey Is Your Hero

If he isn't, he fucking should be!  Why wasn't this gods-damned story on the Fox "News"?  And everywhere else?  Ramsey is a real American hero, and if McDonald's had half a brain, the company would make Mr. Ramsey the corporate head of public outreach or some shit and put him out there every fucking day.  Ramsey could almost make McDonald's look good!

Not So Beloved Adaptation

There's just no pleasing some people.  Sure, some authors have a point, but if they are getting paid and/or the shitty movie makes their back catalog sell and sell, most writers have the good sense to shut the fuck up.  The sad fact is that if your book is good enough, the movie will be a) impossible or b) suck major ass.  Good movies come from shitty books, and shitty movies come from shitty books, too, but everyone like money.

Monday, September 29, 2014

Droning And Fluffing, Fluffing And Droning, Droning And Fluffing

John Cole gets it right: the invisible, consequence-free mass murder using drones is shredding whatever credibility the United States has left around the world.  Obama has been having a blast using drones to kill and kill and kill with almost no accountability to anyone.  This is bad mojo, something the fluffers in Cole's comments can't seem to grasp.  The fact that we probably kill nearly 100% random, innocent people with the drones doesn't seem to register with those assholes.  Our foreign policy has been sliding straight to hell for freeking ever, but drones are bending that curve right down to Satan's asshole.

Jeanine Pirro's Racist Insanity Is Starting To Make An Impression

A bad one. Finally.  Sure, she's too old for Fox prime time, but she brings the racist crazy with the younger, smoother, blonder ladies Ailes and Murdoch put on the couches and under the glass tables in the shortest short hemlines.  The folks at C&L have been on her for a while, and that's good.  Now's the time to go national with this shit, and expose Pirro for the nasty news whore she is.

Netanyahu Is A Lying Pussy Bitch

If this lying piece of shit was standing right there in America, why wasn't he dragged from the podium and thrown into a hole so deep that Satan herself would need a big ass shovel to hope to find him.  This asshole is easily one of the worst human beings who ever lived, and anyone who believes his lies is beyond redemption.  That and his speech was the speech of a quisling coward soiling his shorts right there in front of the world.

Fatbikes Are Cool Because I Know A 9 Year Old Who Wants One

She's not gettin' one, but she loves to look at them in bike shops.  She can't quite understand that it doesn't really snow enough anymore to have one unless you live on Arrakis--plus the fact that they fit really large with 25 pounds of rubber on 'em.  I can see having a fatbike if you just gotta have another bike or if you are that ironic hipster clown who uses it as his or her only mountain bike.

Sunday, September 28, 2014

Virag's Movie Reviews: Godzilla (2014)

Hmmm, a Godzilla movie with no Godzilla in it.  Well, that's an interesting tactical choice.  I mean, I didn't hate the flick, and it wasn't bad, but it was not really a Godzilla movie.  On screen, the film felt like a mashup of three odd choices.  The first was the Monarch backstory, with Godzilla in the Pacific and the nuclear attack against the monster.  Okay.  Maybe that was the movie they wanted to make, a period piece.  The second was the kaiju attack on Fukushima the nuke plant in Japan and the growing danger there.  Okay, but that movie was probably gonna be short, but maybe not, and that's where most of the actors were.  The third was Godzilla joining the US Navy to battle the absolutely not-Mothra kaiju.  THAT movie probably woulda  had some actual Godzilla content.  What we got though, was a sort of inexplicable story filled with generic humans nobody wanted to see in a Godzilla movie that the US had been fighting a nuclear war for the last 60 years against a giant monster who had actually caused no harm.  Despite that, the monster shows up when needed, most obviously does NOT fuck up and sink the entire Pacific fleet for funsies, and destroys the kaiju before they obliterate half of California and reproduce.  That doesn't make much sense as presented in the flick.  Was Godzilla supposed to be intelligent?  Why did this version of Godzilla look so much like a fat, ugly dog?  Where was Gipsy Danger?  Watching Godzilla, I found myself waiting for the jaegers to show up and start punching giant monsters in the face.

Dr. Who Distruptive Influence

Well, they can dump the Clara character and the stupid boyfriend thing, and let Capaldi fly off with Ellis George's Disruptive Influence for a while.  She sure looks like she's up to it, and that would be so much better than what they're playing with now.

Robert Krulwich's Odd Career

Krulwich has always been hanging around, there in the gloaming, the margin, the background.  NPR qualifies.  Anywho, Krulwich was in fact most likely a little too thoughtful and not quite weasely enough for the big leagues.  Whatevs.

Geno Smith Has A Ways To Go Before He Can Be As Entertaining As Mark Sanchez

I know, I know, he's trying, but Smith is still a waayyy smaller buffoon than Sanchez on the field.  Let's get it moving, Geno!  The Jets have a function in this world...

Saturday, September 27, 2014

It's Always Shark Week Somewhere

Limbaugh's Hurtin'

Fucking sweet.  Limbaugh's been America's premier shitheaded motherfucker for a coupla decades now; too late for America to do better, but when he's gone, it'll be better than havin' him around.

Is Debbie Schlussel Still A Thing?

The last time I really heard about this fucking idiot was way back in the day when Howard Stern was still on the free radio.  She pissed off a bunch a people this week with some nonsense she wrote about the girl at UVA who is missing.  I mean that's shitty and all, but Schlussel is a useless, Z-grade wingnut moron bitch with less than no influence whatsoever. 

Junkie-Galen-Tyrol Cosplayer Gregg Jarrett Sobers Up?

Or somethin'.  I guess he's trying to find a job at not-Fox because Fox won't put him back on the air?  No credit is due from anyone anywhere, though, since Tyrol Jarrett was proud to suck teabagger cock at Fox collect a check from Ailes and Murdoch all these years.

Friday, September 26, 2014

Jeter Destroys The Haters

Yeah Jeets.  Sure, for quite a while now the bitchy Jeter hate has been more entertaining than the Yankees, but even the losers at Deadspin managed to lose even more last night.  Jeter won, again.  Sure, he shoulda pulled the slick move and just retired last night with no notice and avoided the year of inanity.  But that's not business, and Jeter was the last of the great baseball symbols, corporate symbols, in New York and anywhere.  Good player, smart guy, big stage, made the money, made the money for everybody, stayed outa trouble.  He did what Olbermann couldn't do.  He did what most baseball players, even players with more skill, more talent, couldn't do, and he did it for the Yankees in New Fucking York.  Last night he said fuck you and fuck you and fuck you to all of them, and now he gets to take his giant pile of fucking money and go have the best second half of a life in human history.  And the Yankees still had a decent season because the only metric that counts to god is finishing ahead of the Red Sox.  Maybe Roger Goodell will pay Jeter a million dollars to kick Jared Remy in the balls this winter.

Political Song for Dinesh D'Souza to Sing

Dinesh D'Souza's (Ex-)Wife's Name Is Dixie

She fuckin' hates him.  Brilliant.  I'm sure poor ole Dixie was (is) an air-headed right-wing bimbo, but she learned an important life lesson from that miserable cocksucker she married, and let's all hope she gained a bit of wisdom from her mistake.  Sounds like maybe she has.

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Ends And Friends

Tinfoil Hat Dipshits Are Fun As Fuck

Real live insanity crossed with stunning ignorance lathered in fucking stupidity!  Fuck yeah.  That's America, baby.  Sure, you could say they kidding, that they're having a laugh, but no no no.  They're serious, they're dumb as rocks, and they're wasting our oxygen. 

Cancer, It Ain't The Cure

It's the cause.  It's much easier to "fight" cancer once it starts than to prevent cancer or identify the links between the byproducts of glorious free-market capitalism and cancer.  The sort of wisdom which is serious about cancer and carcinogens is pretty fucking far off in our future, if we have one.

Romney 2016: Please Jeezus

How fucking entertaining would that be?  Wicked fucking entertaining!  Genuine, all-American, high-calorie funfetti.  Romney is a vile bastard, and that nasty harpy he's married to is no slouch either, so I would strongly encourage them to run run run for president.

Holder Has Sucked Since Clinton

His only legacy will be the same as Obama's: first black.  Eric Holder has not been a good Attorney General, but he was the first African American AG--and he had to put up with insane racist cocksuckers and Fox "News" and the teabaggers and the Koch-suckers--and that is something.  Now maybe next time we can have an AG who's a black dude or dudette and good at the fucking job.

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Forever Novel V Forever TV Show

How does that work?  It sure as fuck sounds like the tee vee show is a rippy rip-off of at least chunky chunks of the book.  Now, I read Pete Hamill's book, and I read in a library, so I have an affection for it greater than it deserves.  Hamill is a leprechaun mascot of New York's self-styled soul, but his book is pretty awful in a well-intentioned, silly manner.  Regardless, he has been robbed by the fucking Mouse, and didn't deserve it no matter how bad the book.  This is the second time, too; that stupid Jaime Lannister guy's New Amsterdam was another shitty rip-off tee vee show way suckier than the Hamill's book.

Fisking Obama Over Syria

Literally. Fisking.  Anyway, Assad was our ally, then he wasn't, then he was not exactly, and now he's our ally again.  Nice work if you can get it.  The hilarious fact that ISIS was the group the teabaggers and Koch-suckers wanted to support with guns and missiles and bombs and shit.  Fucking retards.

Is O'Reilly A Bigger Lunatic Or A Bigger Pussy

Hard to figure if O'Reilly's lost his mind or if he's shitting his pants.  Either way, consider that this douchebag is a tee vee millionaire because Ailes and Murdoch rightly understood that O'Reilly would lovingly lave their rancid teabags and warty, malfunctioning wieners with his tongue without ever needing to be told.