Monday, October 20, 2014

Bad Bad People

Monica Lewinsky Looks Good!

How old is that broad?  She's in her 40s, right?  Damn.  I'm sure Tubby wishes he was gonna have another shot at that shit.  I'm sure the govmint health benefits he gets covers a shitload of Viagra and Cialis and penis pumps and Bill O'Reilly signature butt falafels and whatever else Clinton needs to continue his career in public service.

Ebola! We're All Not Gonna Die!!

Ebola is not gonna kill you.  Not here.  No matter what the establishment media morons and political ass clowns say.  George Will, not epidemiologist and certified rocket scientist, knows better, though; HE KNOWS THE TRUTH!  EBOLA GONNA KILL YOU!!

Ebola's American operation has a problem, and that problem is that it is really hard to catch Ebola unless you have an infected person who is so sick that there is a sufficient excess of virus in their bloodstream.  And even then, things like rubber gloves and masks make it hard on Ebola.  Let's hope that Ebola gets its act together in time to infect George Will.  The rest of us won't be in any danger.

'Interstellar' Rumor Confirms My Suspicion It Will Suck Balls Hard

I already said it: Interstellar is going to be hella-stupid.  Love as the structure of the universe or whatever dumb fucking thing they're getting at is easily the most inane thing you'll ever hear not on Fox "News".  This rumor thing seems to bolster the thesis that Christopher Nolan is an over-rated, empty-headed clown.

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Bill O'Reilly In His Natural Environment

Long, Interesting Secular History Of Islam

An excellent counter to toxic racist retards like Sam Harris and Bill Maher and all of Fox "News".  Doesn't matter though, because here in America we enjoy the spectacle of ignorance and racist hatred more than we crave knowledge or justice or comprehension as nothing is more fundamentally American than ignorance and racist hatred. 

Pretty Easy Bill O'Reilly Fisking

Barrel, fish, you know the drill.  Still, since O'Reilly the pervy sexual harasser and all-around creepster is so fucking dense, we should keep pounding on it.  O'Reilly is not only dumb as a fucking rock, he's a nasty racist asshole as well.


Low Beards, Everybody Down

The Giants Cowboys Game Is Proof We Have Been Abandoned By All The Gods And Jesus

Surely an extant, loving divine panoply would bless us with some precise smiting right there in Arlington.  And after the Jets on Thursday, we know we are alone in cold, uncaring cosmos.

The Glory Of America And Jesus

Saturday, October 18, 2014

Hands Up

Sweet Jesus Charlie Crist, Al-Jazeera America Does News On Weekends

What the fuck does Al-Jazeera America know that MSNBC doesn't, besides how to do news shows 24/7/365 instead of devoting a fifth of their schedule to police state prison porn?  If I had time and Al-Jazeera on my personal tee vee, I would sure as shit watch it before any of the other three.  Al-Jazeera America is so much more than Current TV ever was as well.

Friday, October 17, 2014

Not At All Constantinople

If Alison Grimes Manages To Lose, We Must Banish Her--To Kentucky!

Never to be allowed to leave for 10,000 years!  We all knew she was a shitty candidate and campaigner as well as a vile, conservative, Clintonite weasel, but Bitch McConnell was a sure loser to even a decent opponent.  If Grimes fucks this up, she should be banished to Kentucky for ever and ever, never more to enjoy the company of the civilization and access to state of the art dental care, and never again to be diddled by Bill Clinton at fundraisers.

Did You Ever Notice That Pamperd Upper-Class Twits Are Often Racist Dipshits?

Funny how that works.  Being a privileged cockknob and knee-jerk racist asshole at the same time.  Who knew!

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Syd Straw With Dave Alvin

Dave Alvin is everywhere.  I have to wonder if Alvin and Lu Edmonds are not some aspects of divine manifestation working to guide the evolution of the species.

Rick Scott: Too Creepy And Dumb Even For Florida?

Does Scott not have a functioning campaign?  Why didn't his campaign manager slap the shit out of Scott and tell him to get his ass out onto the stage?  This is a close race, and the scuttlebutt is that this fan thing may have lost for the Scott side already.  It could be argued that this was a peek into the heart of Rick Scott, and everyone could see what a weird and petty and dumb man he is, but since he's running for reelection in Florida, weird and petty and dumb pretty much defines the electorate.  For the love of all the gods in all the hells, let's have Crist win just for the entertainment value of watching tee vee Republicans have a collective stroke live on election night.  That would fuckin' rock.

Ebola Bear

Is coming for you.

The Homeless Will Always Be With Us In America, Till We Round Them Up And Feed Them To Illegal Immigrants

(This is the thesis of the speech which won me the 2014 Republican Man of the Year award once again.  My conservative genius prevented that senile pig fucker Reagan from ever winning, and Newt Gingrinch never finished higher than second place thanks to me.  Ben Carson cried when he heard he didn't win this year, either.)  Homelessness in America, the richest nation in the history of the known universe, has been in the public consciousness, sorta, for generations now, but we never seem to become wise enough to make any real progress.  The reason is that eliminating homelessness would require our society to confront the fundamental issues of economy and society, and that's not good for your garden variety Koch-sucker.  Local remedies are not enough, but nobody fucking cares.

Jon Stewart's Shame Is Boundless

Or should be.  Really, it's beyond shame.  It's downright vile to allow a racist dickhead like O'Reilly to plug one of his disgusting books on your show; there's no excuse for Stewart not having learned his lesson long ago.  Unless of course Stewart wants to help O'Reilly promote his book and himself because Stewart believes O'Reilly is a perfectly decent fellow tee vee barker, in which case Stewart is perhaps the worst person who ever lived.

A Monumentally Awful List Thingy

The Enemy NME, so, like duh, of course it sucks balls.  But, still, in a world choked to stupidity by pointless list thingies on the interwebs, this one is especially bad because all these bands are irredeemably awful and deserving of any and all bile and scorn.  Jeez.

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Molly Skate

Good Bye And Fuck You, Keith Ablow

Jesus, Keith Ablow is a way bigger racist lunatic than anyone really knew, but now that we do in fact know, it is time to gather up a giant pile of fetid monkey shit, light it on fire, and dump Ablow into it head first. 

I've Had An Opportunity To Watch Some Al-Jazeera America Prime Time

And everyone associated with CNN, MSNBC, and Fox "News" should simply go out back and shoot themselves in the head.  Al-Jazeera manages to do some real reporting on important stories while skipping most of the establishment media inanity seen on the other cable "news" networks.  It is jarring to watch if you are used to the normal ignorant drivel.  And I gotta say that the broadcast looked all right on a middle of the road Korean HDTV setup. 

Geeks, Nerds, Dweebs And Other Dorks Are Thick As Hell Sometimes

Yes, it's a stupid list thingy, but 2001, which took place in 2001 or something, showed Heywood Floyd making a video "payphone" call FROM A FUCKING SPACE STATION TO SOMEONE ON EARTH!  Do those idiots who made the list expect that their 2014 iPhone would work on Space Station V?  Jesus charlie crist.  That's idiotic. (Let's also remember that AT&T was obsolete for a while, and then wasn't again.  And even if portable phones are ubiquitous on Earth in the movie, let's assume that someone is gonna figure out a way to rake in the bucks from the captive audience in orbit who wants to call someone planetside.)

What The Fuck Happened To The Orioles?

The Royals mean nasty shit like George Brett, George Brett's hemorrhoids, and Rush Limbaugh, so fuck Baltimore for not being able to beat the piss out of 'em.  America and freedom hate you now Orioles; nice going.

Tom Brady And Ebola

Heh, indeedy.  Bonus Sugar content about half-way down the page, too.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Waiting For Canadians

Chuck Todd: Giant Douche

Remember way back when in 2008 when Chuck Todd was a favorite of the Democratic kids on the internets with their blogs and their hope?  Chuckles was able to convince the netroots-type dullards that he was something other than a soft-headed, scheming, careerist weasel.  That didn't last forever, but it did last long enough for dickwad to ingratiate himself with the village idiot establishment media at NBC and somehow maintain a threadbare veneer of not being a total, screaming moron.  Well, for the love of jesus charlie crist, let's hope those idiot days are over.  Todd has finally been so flagrant in his asshattery that even those boobs who were holding onto the salad days of 2008 should be able to get the hint.  Let's hope.  Fuck.  Chuck Todd is Luke Russert without the name but with a dead muskrat on his head.

How Long Has Pat Roberts Been Dead?

Jesus fucking christ, this guy is a fucking corpse.  No wonder he's going to lose to some anonymous dickwad.  He's terrible on the tee vee, even Fox "News", which is the best possible conditions for a sitting Republican Senator during the 2014 campaign.  I guess even the average fucktard voter in Kansas demands more entertainment value than poor ole dead Pat Roberts can scare up.