Friday, December 19, 2014

Least Incisive Mekons Album Review In Human History, People Magazine 1989

25 years ago, People magazine sucked ass.  Sure, they did review The Mekons Rock 'n' Roll, but they completely missed the point, making it seem like maybe they only did their quick 'n' shitty little review because the record came out on A&M, and that's what People magazine does, deliver worthless perfunctory spew at the behest of the entertainment industry.  Whichever underpaid hack crapped out the review probably never heard The Mekons before and was most likely a fan of top shelf rawk garbage like Bon Jovi and Whitesnake.  But there it is, posted on the interwebs for all to see.  That's somethin'.

Thursday, December 18, 2014

Gods Below, Ascension Was Hella Stupid

An Orion-class generation ship built with 1950s aerospace and nuclear technology and launched in secret by the United States in 1963 is a fairly bonkers idea.  Putting that ship in your show, chock full of magical artificial gravity, a ginormous glass window on the front (top) end to maximize the entry of deadly radiation, huge open spaces, mood lighting, high heels, apparent lack of awareness of things like time dilation and elementary physics, and comically clumsy class distinctions is more than dumb.  A ship that big, the size of the Empire State building, would not be able to carry supplies for 600 people--and food animals!--for a century, BEFORE you considered fuel, spare parts that Orion nuclear propulsion system, and all the other random shit.  A ship that size might have a dozen people, maybe--with those people working constantly keeping the ship going, with no time for class struggles, assorted sport and hate fucking, drinking, intrigue--and that ship would be hidden behind a big honking shield to keep out the radiation on the front and a big honking shield in the middle to keep the people away from the Orion drive's radioactivity.  So, it's all pretty dumb.

Ascension manged to out stupid that premise by making it all a lie.  No ship.  On Earth.  A vicious psychological experiment.  Torture that would give Dick Cheney the biggest hardon in human history.  A ship that's not a ship filled with a couple of generations of purportedly intelligent people, not one of whom ever questioned the most obvious, fundamental functions of their "ship".  Did they ever wonder where the gravity came from?  Did they never use those telescopes?  Anyone ask why they weren't traveling a hell of a lot faster?  Why the trip was taking so fucking long?  Was there never an earthquake, hurricane, something to alert them to the fact they were still on Earth?

And all of it was some bugfuck crazy experiment to create superhuman teleporting psychics?  Really?  Jesus.  What a fucking mess.  So much of Ascension was an awkward ripoff of a sack full of SciFi tropes, notably from some Ben Bova and James P. Hogan books.  Add to that the atrocious dialog and laughable acting and you get a giant steaming turd only SyFy could love.  Brilliant.

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Cuba Lee Bray

About fuck king time.  This is something good from the Obama administration, even as those good things from Obama are few and far between.  The Cuba insanity from the USA has been a dismal, cruel failure for more than five fucking decades, so we all have a bunch of catching up to do.

Huge bonus for all this funfetti will be the absolute apeshit reaction from vile conservative fuckheads in the American government.  Huge shitheads like Marco Rubio and Bob Menendez are already going fucking nuts, and the entertainment will only get more joyous as this shit plays out in advance of the 2016 election. 

Even better will be if somehow the Cubans finally get enough leverage to dismantle the Guantanamo Bay base and send the American navy back where they belong.  Since that will be a huge victory for the Cuban government in addition to a huge victory for truth, justice and all that horseshit, I trust that Cuban government will be willing to do whatever they have to to make it happen.

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Least Surprising News Ever: Racist Lying Asshole Sean Hannity's Favorite Ferguson Witness 40 Is A Lying Racist Asshole!

This is the least shocking news in human history.  Bob McCulloch didn't give a fuck that this woman Sandra McElroy was a lying sack of teabagging shit, but The Smoking Gun didn't have too much trouble shredding that asshole's credibility--too bad TSG wasn't in charge of the prosecution.  Now what's gonna happen to all the gleeful racist cocksuckers like Sean Hannity, Rudy Giuliani, Bill O'Reilly, Ted Nugent, and the millions of others who were so fucking thrilled that a white cop killed a black kid and got away with it, who believed the lies and were scared shitless that the blahs might actually take offense at being murdered in the streets by the cops?  Will those racist motherfuckers face justice?  Will a big chunk of those vile scumbag teabaggers be murdered by cops in some twisted karmic turn?  Of course not.  Will they believe the truth once and for all?  Will Fox "News" retract their lies?  Of course not.

Monday, December 15, 2014

Reasons, Seasons, And Whatnot

Over the weekend I heard this song out in the wild for the first time this year.  Before the halcyon days of internets ubiquity, "Christmas Wrapping" was one of the sole treats of the season, when an otherwise boring radio station would whip this one out and be cool once or twice before the new year. 

Sunday, December 14, 2014

Lovely Orbea Women's Bike Makes A Great Gift

If I do say so myself.  I managed to find one, unridden in 49cm and in a very nice white with pink, from 2012, I think.  Really interesting hydroformed aluminium frame with a carbon fork and decent 10-speed Shimano junk on it.  Seems quite nicely made.  I'm gonna slap a 165 crank and shorter stem on it for the first year.  The bike looks way better in person; the pink is a nice rich pink and the white makes it pretty easy to find accessories.  Pretty cool.  Hope it fits for a coupla years...