Monday, February 19, 2018

That Greasy Fucker Evan Dando Didn't Even Write 'The Outdoor Type'

The one Lemonheads song I kinda like for real, and it's not even him.  I guess that's why I like it.  Otherwise, Dando can go fuck himself.  Die, Evan Dando, Die.  Even in 2018, it would be worth it.  Fucker.

Trump Date Is A Beautiful Exceptional Hannidate For The 21st Century

Thanks, Trump.


Rick Gates: Holy Shit That Motherfucker Is Sick To Death Of Winning

TO DEATH! Or at least a plea.  Who knew that Trump would be so amazingly fucking right about sick and winning?  Thanks, Trump!

American Hero Dr. Jill Stein With A Massive Drive-By Fisking Of Joy Reid

Boom.  Maybe, just maybe Joy Reid doesn't really give a shit about Jill Stein but really, really wants to fluff up Hillary's shitball campaign while deflecting focus on the loss to fatuous orange shitgibbon.

Susie Madrak: Neoliberal Useful Idiot

Sad.  Madrak and other neoliberal establishment Dems may not be stupid enough to believe that Green Party voters would have voted for a shitbag like Hillary Clinton, but they sure as shit want their idiot followers to believe it.  Madrak is slurping the piss from her bucket with gusto, praying for a seat on the bus riding into media estabishment idiot village.  What would her friend Joe Bageant have thought of such shameless neoliberal inanity?

Sunday, February 18, 2018


Beautiful American patriots have unmasked the false flag in Parkland, Florida!  Thank jesus fucking christ that all the exceptional American geniuses have foiled Obama's plan to steal your white christian guns and give them to fucking no-good black niggers!  The deep state will not win as long as we suck jesus' cock night and day with beautiful exceptional American patriotic gusto and gulp down his holy jizz with glee!!!

No Fall I

Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Hearts And

Thank God For The Beautiful Brave Exceptional Freedom-Loving Patriot Who Showed His Love For The Consititution By Shooting Up That Florida School

Motherfucking wonderful 2nd Amendment patriots love our beautiful Constitution.  Only truly great Americans love freedom enough to slaughter school children with guns.  Only beautiful freedom fighters making America greater every day have the will to express their love for the right to suck the dick of the NRA and to be an insane gun nut teabagging asshole.  MAGA!  MAGA!!  MMAAAGGGGAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

Nazi-Adjacent Fuckstain Quinn Norton Is Obviously Sick Of Winning

So much motherfucking winning!  Because she was a girl who played with computers, this Norton dimwit thought she was so fucking smart, but instead she has exposed herself as just another soft-headed stooge who liked to pal around with other creepy cocksuckers, Nazi and otherwise.  So, back into your hole Quinn Norton.  You're nothing but another shallow, empty-headed fuckwit pretending to be intelligent.

Anti-Choice Women Are The Biggest Assholes In The Universe

Even bigger fuckstains than Trump voters.  Any woman demented enough to cede control of their reproductive freedom to jebus or a man or the government is so fucking horrible that they truly do not deserve to live.  Freedom to choose is the most important right any woman has.  Fuck these deranged monsters who can't see that.

Elizabeth Warren Is Going To Be A Great President

Of course, compared to Trump, Bush, Bush, Reagan, Nixon, even Obama and Clinton might seem alright.  Warren is good though, smarter than the average bear, and not so intent on sucking her own dick.  It'll be good, maybe better than good.

Sean Hannity's Secret Sperm

Santorum for the 21st century! MAGA!  That Sean Hannity is pretty fucking sharp, so now America is wise to the secret sperm.  That sperm can't hide from beautiful American patriots and exceptional tee vee guys!  Thanks, Trump.


Florida's James Buchanan Is Absolutely Sick Of Motherfucking Winning!

So he lost!  That's fucking brilliant!  Thanks, Trump.

PhotographerMom: This Is What A Vile Over-Privileged Cunt Looks Like

Sweet motherfrakking jesus christ on a skateboard, this woman is a vile slattern.  These sorts of heinous, over-privileged twits are fucking killing America.  Imagine, you get knocked up again because of a great round of golf and cocktails, then you hire a woman to help out, and send your kids to expensive schools!  Well, whoop-dee-fucking-doo!  Aren't you just special.  You're so rich and so fucking stupid.  This woman, assuming it's not really some creepy guy from a white power website trolling, is such a horrible person and is, unfortunately, the sort of clueless idiot you meet at expensive schools.  When the guillotines come out, I'll be smiling a little brighter after her head bounces off the pavement.

Protip: Montessori schools are stupid too.  And totally gay.

Tuesday, February 13, 2018

Or None

Pastor George Gregory Really Knows How To Party

Pastor Gregory sounds like a fun date.  I bet he knows all the kinky kinks and tricks.  Of course, that naked man in his front seat probably tied himself up.  Or maybe with the help of jesus. 

Vile Whore Georgette Mossbacher Is Exactly The Woman Trump Deserves

What a heinous bitch!  Too bad she's at least a hundred years too old to be the next Mrs. Trump.  She so hated having to drive around in American cars during Bush's losing campaign in 92.  Poor baby.

The Never-Ending Saga Of Discs On Road And Cross Bikes: So Dumb That Even The Twits See It

Wicked fuckin' dumb.  Cross bikes and road bikes are not mountain bikes.  The cheapo Shimano juice brakes work really frakking well on mountain bike trails but are insane overkill for the road.  And cross bikes are specialized racing machines where braking is not anything resembling the braking required on a general-use trail bike!  Jesus, people are fucking ijits.