Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Peddie Electric

What The Fuck Is Up With That Disgusting Fat Piggy Sam Clovis? Is He On Point?

Cooperating could mean lots of things--but none of them are good for Trump.  How bad is bad?  MAGA!  MAGA!!  MAAGGGAAAA!!!

Winning Bigly: Manafort's Indictment Is About Humilation, Gates And Papadapapapoolpuss Are The Real Thing

Mueller has engaged Trump.  Nothing Limbaugh or the other bleating right-wing imbeciles will say can change that.  The indictment of Manafort is all about humiliating him.  Manafort's a dick and nobody likes him, so fuck him.  He's being punished for being an asshole.  But Gates and Papadopoulos are important.  Gates is much younger than Manafort and will not be able to face jail or even a trial.  He'll bring in the next high-level target.  Papadipstickfuckface will be very useful in securing as many charges of lying to the FBI as Mueller needs, especially among the lower-level targets.  Good stuff.

Trump's Poll Numbers Are All About Winning, So Much Beautiful Winning

MAGA!  Thank the gods Donald Fucking Trump was here to show America what winning looks like.

Mrs. Boris

Wait...Who's Writing Honest Trailers Now?


Sunday, October 29, 2017

Punctual


Only Neoliberal Hillary Deadenders Like Karoli Kuns Think Nina Turner Attacked Hillary Over This Uranium Shit

Don't post video if it refutes your shitty accusations. Jesus christ.  Hillary shills are fucking bugfuck crazy.   I know they have to lie because their shitbird candidate lost to the worst candidate in the history of the galaxy, but jesus fucking christ.  Dave Weigel does his best, but the Hillbots are too stupid and angry to be reasoned with.  They are scum.  Worst than the Trumptards.  Way worse.

Fwiw, Rosatom's interest in Uranium One was probably more about Kazakhstan than anything else.  Rosatom doesn't give a shit about worthless American uranium it can't even export, but having control of the bulk of Kazakh uranium production, well that should be very important to the Russian government.

Trump's Very Bad Weekend

Not a great time to be around Trump. Not any winning at all.  Lots of sweat.  Lots of dirty underpants.  But the very bad weekend will be over in 12 hours.  Then the very very bad week begins.

It doesn't really matter who or what happens tomorrow, whether it's hugely entertaining or merely tedious procedure and legalese.  Mueller has begun, the giant grinding machine will be initiated, and none of the Trump people will ever know who the next hapless victim of Mueller's insidious grinder will be.  All they know is that they will eventually be dog food.  Good times.

Worthwhile Daily Reminder That John Kelly Was Always A Right-Wing Piece Of Shit

Never once a man of integrity. Never courageous or intelligent.  Always a reactionary creep, a right-wing petty-fascist cocksucker.  And a terrible father as he let his kid get killed in the military.  The minimum standard for parent is making sure your kids don't ever join the military (or the police) under any circumstances.  Fucker.

Bob McNair Is An Exceptional American Patriot

A great American telling the truth.  Finally.  We can't have those asshole blahs doing anything except picking cotton or fighting for our amusement.  Fuck yeah!  MAGA!

How Could MLB Fuck Up The World Series Balls?

If the baseballs were fine all year, what possible reason would there be to change them for the Series?  Homers?  More likely strictly incompetence, but jesus, they couldn't be any worse if Trump was in charge.

Soundtrack To Self-Delusion In Trump's Mind

The comedy is lowbrow, but the music is just boring and annoying.  Plus, how the fuck old are these guys now?  Pretty soon they'll be like Trump pretending he can still do anything with a pussy.


America's Finest Cyclist, Too Good For The Serotta Forum

Is that woman using toe clips and straps?  No, I guess it's just the laces on her shoes.  Woulda been sano, tho.  Anywho, the nation's greatest cyclist decided to strike a blow for common decency and give Trump the finger.  Very good.  Better than anything on the Serotta Forum.


Rancid Cunt Jeanine Pirro Is Off Her Meds Again

It's too bad for the rest of us that Pirro sucks so bad at tee vee because her deranged screeching could be wicked funny in the right hands.  A sincere professional delivery would really liven up her material, but Pirro is too much of a schlub and a hack to be watchable. 

Friday, October 27, 2017

So, Is George Bush A Senile Groper Or A Nasty Old Bastard?

Right now, George Bush might be only one step above Reagan at Reagan's most intellectually powerful, which would make the old Bush a fucking brainless senile degenerate.  Or is George Bush more of disgusting creepster, fully aware of what the fuck he's doing?  Fucking ew gross fuck no either way.  And the truth is that George Bush was probably always a fucking scumbag around women.

Happy Burn


Thursday, October 26, 2017

Jesus, The Ravens Smooshed The Dolphins Tonight

But the Ravens should have decrapitated that Kiko Alonso douchebag after that hit on Flacco.  There was one decent hit after the play was over, but the next Ravens player should have ended that shitbag.  That's why they don't let girls play.

High Larry Us


Mark Halperin Can Partner With Bill O'Reilly, And O'Reilly Can Help With Jamming Falafels Up Halperin's Bunghole

And O'Reilly can school Halperin on the benefits of phone sex with Indochinese ladyboys when the hotties who work for you won't put out.  The whores.

But Good On The Yanks For Canning Girardi

Girardi was perfect for the organization because he was vapid suck-up first and foremost, a boring company man, and an effective baseball manager a distant second.  Very distant.  It was a wasted decade for the Yanks, so let's see what happens next.

Very Too Bad About The Astros

All of Texas is a shameful blight American can no longer tolerate.  Good and decent Americans understand and acknowledge Los Angeles for what it is, but Houston and Texas are disgusting and awful in so many more ways.

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

What The Fuck Is Bill O'Reilly's "Non-Consensual Sexual Relationship"?

How fucking creepy is that phrase?  I'm not sure what they mean by it, but, jesus, it's not good.  O'Reilly shoulda stuck to jamming falafels up his ass and jerking off during phone sex with Indochinese ladyboys.  O'Reilly and his sad little wee wee can't be trusted around real live people.

Jeff Flake Is Sick Of All The Winning!

Too much winning for Senator Flake!  He can't keep up with Trump, so he decided to do his very best to make sure the Dems have the biggest chance at the Senate.  MAGA!  Thanks, Trump.

Greasy, Shitstained Racists Of The Day, Today

The beating heart of the GOP!  Rock-ribbed conservatives.  Reliable Republicans.  Trump's biggest fans. 

Bill O'Reilly: Exceptionally Friendless

Ohlordymama this is getting fun.  O'Reilly's getting shredded and it's only going to get worse now.  The reporting should just be getting started.  All the bad shit about O'Reilly will probably be publicized now.  Fuck yeah!  Thanks, Trump.

Sunday, October 22, 2017

Friday, October 20, 2017

Morrissey's Old


Atrios Is Dead Wrong--That 'Friday' Song Was Fucking Wretched

No, it was not worse than Megan Trainor or Katy Perry or Taylor Swift or Beyonce, but it was every bit as awful as the shit those no-talent assfaces produce.  "Friday" was and is a horrible piece of prefab pop dog shit.  There's nothing good about it. 

So, The Dodgers Are In

Will get very interesting if the Yanks finish off the Astros.  Sort of a dream come true for the tee vee folks and some cruel karmic realignment when the Dodgers lose to those same NY Yankees.

Nobody's gonna give a shit about Dodgers versus Astros.

This Classic Yo La Tengo Thing Was Perhaps The High Point For The Onion

Other than calling that little actress girl a cunt on Twitter--which was really like genius-level funny and incredibly offensive which it made it even funnier, but a little too much for the delicate sensibilities of the 21st century.  15 years ago. Holy shit.

And This Lovely Glenn Beck Fisking By The Onion


Wait, When Did Zombie Gawker Ruin The Onion, Too?

I guess that shows that The Onion isn't exactly vital, but the whole Kinja experience sucks ass--and it looks worse when you had something way better just a few days or months ago.  Oops.

Wednesday, October 18, 2017

Monkees Gone


Well, Yankees Win

Tanaka.  Nice start this time of year.  Or any time.  The Yanks might get this thing done.  Who knew?

No Such Thing


This Vile Eagle Scout Bullshit Might Be The Creepiest Thing I've Ever Seen On The Interwebs

What sort of degenerate mental-defective would put Eagle Scout above Choate?  Or any top school?  Of course, that shitstain wasted his elite boarding school education by joining the fucking army, so it shows he's a titanic asshole regardless.

The boy scouts are probably the worst thing in the world after the military and the police, and the people who willingly join are never to be trusted at any time.

If my kid entered the military after a top boarding school education, I would be sickened beyond description. 

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

And On


Yankees Win Again

Yanks making it interesting against the Astros.  Houston might regret not putting the Yankees away after that improbable Verlander game.  If the Astros run into some bad luck now, they're fucked.  A Yankees/Dodgers series would be an answer to the tee vee man's prayers.

Gregg Popovich Would Make A Great VP Choice For Sanders Next Time

Or for Warren if Sanders decides not to run.  Popovich really has a boner for fucking with Trump, and he deserves a chance to do it professionally. 

Eyes


Scaramucci: Still Not Dumber Than Trump

Pretty fucking dumb, a literal mental-defective, but the Mooch is not dumber than his butt buddy Trump.  Nope. 

Nothing In This World Is Better Than A Drive-By Fisking Of The Vile Imani Gandy

Gods damn, what a horrible, hateful clown that Imani Gandy is.  Loathsome neoliberal establishment Dems like her are the worst things in the world.  Dumber than Trump's hopeless inbred racist web-toed dimwits by a fucking country mile.

Wait, This Week's Honest Trailer Seems To Be Late!

What's happening?  Thanks, Trump.

Tom Marino, Another Trump Winner! MAGA! MAGA!! MAAGGGAAAA!!!

Donald Trump, super genius strikes again.  Another great pick from America's smartest man.

CC Steps Up Again For The Yanks

The fucking Astros have to be pissed, as they were in the position to get out of this series early, but CC Sabathia stepped on their dicks for 'em.  At least the Yankees aren't golfing this week like the Red Sox.

Monday, October 16, 2017

Victor Davis Hanson Is A Brain-Dead Fucktard's Idea Of What A Cretinous Idiot Sounds Like

There are paving stones with more cogent analyses than Victor Davis Hanson, but the one thing that the execrable retard right-wing establishment does well is support their syphilitic racist shitheads and other loathsome scumbags with wing-nut welfare sinecures.  If not for the reactionary welfare, Hanson would be eating the bugs out of clumps of week-old dog shit.

What The Fuck Are US Troops Doing In Niger

Or as Fox "News" would call it: Nigger.  Anywho, why the fuck aren't our illustrious media stars talking about this shit and asking lots of questions?  How many Americans know what Niger is?  Who tried to explain to that retarded shitgibbon Trump the difference between Niger and Nigeria?

In The Timecop Movie, How Did They Get Back Into The Rocket Sled Thing For The Return Trip

They go out inside a rocket sled but get dumped into the past sans any sort of vehicle, and on the return trip they walk through an FX ripple but somehow wind up back in the rocket sled to go back to HQ.  How the fuck does that work?  Where is the rocket sled while they are in the past?  Is it open or closed?  These might be the most important questions in the last 150 years, but we have no answers.  Thanks, Trump.

Shitting On John Lackey Will Never Not Make America Greater Again

Hapless pitching goon John Lackey is something so obviously wrong that all America suffers for it.  Lackey's life is Trump's exceptional America manifest for the baseball tee vee.  The only hope we have is to shit all over him at every possible opportunity.  Thanks, Trump.

Hyper Enough Spores


The Spore Drive Is Easily The Dumbest Star Trek Concept Ever

Spores?  Throughout the galaxy.  A complex living creature created the galaxy?  The universe?  Energy?  That's fucking stupid.  Why are the spores just in this galaxy?  Replacing dark matter and quantum entanglement with an evolved living species is beyond inane.  Jump drive/new Battlestar Galactica-type FTL just doesn't fit with the bullshit techno-nonsense of the ST universe.  Why bother making this if you are going to make it way fucking dumber than stuff that came before?  Probably because Star Trek is run by fucking shitheads now, bigger shitheads than ever, but still.

Ladies And Gentlemen, The Fabulous Panty Stain


Thursday, October 12, 2017

Sequel 2


The...Yankees Win

Ok, then.  Nice late AB from Gardner, and Gregorius needs to be rhymed with glorious, euphorious, and Pastorius.  The Astros should probably take care of the Yanks pretty easily, but if they stay hot and get some big hits from Judge, well...

Tuesday, October 10, 2017

Saturday, October 7, 2017

Bowled Over


Life-Long Democrat Or Not, There's A Place At The Whitehouse For Harvey Weinstein

He's a Trump kinda guy.  Gross old man, helpless young women, degrading sex--hell, we might find out the the Weinstein Company produced Trump's piss tape!

Girardi Was Always A Doofus

But when he fucks up in the second game in a 5-game series, well, you notice it.  That's not anything new for Girardi, though, who has always been a company yes-man first and a manager second.  His value is not delivering championships at every possible opportunity.  Obviously. 

Muddle-Headed Twits Are America's Worst Entertainment Value

They don't know what they don't know, but you should not care.  Trek, though, jesus.  Some of the bikes might be okay, but seriously fuck them.  Speshy, too.  Cannondale always does something to fuck up their bikes like the stupid 1-inch seatposts on the CAAD12 frames and shit.  But the twits are dipshits.

Thursday, October 5, 2017

Baron Von Trumfio's Time Tunnel


Pats And Bucs, Can't They Both Lose

Fancy dog dimwit Trump fan or serial rapist?  Shouldn't jeebus be cleansing them with fire?

Red Sox Lose Bigly!

That's good!  The Sox must love America bigly.  MAGA!

America Was Already Greater Again


Dump Trump! Tim Murphy For President!

The GOP needs a real man--not a half-wit like Trump or a closet-case pussy like Pence--and Tim Murphy is that man!  He fucks crazy sluts!  He breaks up marriages!  He loves abortion!  He's a beautiful brave patriot who can truly make America greater again!  Fuck yeah!

Joba Chamberlain! Yeah, Bye.

Exceptional American waste of space.  Chamberlain was never going to be a great Yankee.  And he wasn't.

Wednesday, October 4, 2017

Talking Generals


Remove That Rancid Shithead Steve Scalise From Congress And Replace Him With Caleb Keeter

Caleb Keeter has more sense than all the guntard assholes in America put together, and that's way more than that fucking pathetic idiot Steve Scalise.  Put Keeter in Congress.  Put him on the Supreme Court.  Elect him President.  Something.  He's the only (former) guntard fuckface smart enough to live in a civilized society. 

The Yankees Bullpen Is Good

And Aaron Judge is hitting--or was last night, at least.  I mean, everyone should want the Yanks over the fucking Twins, anyway.

What The Fuck Was Up With That Idiot Trump Throwing Paper Towels?

Jesus, Trump is a weird little dimwit.  Who is his handler?  Why would you let any president act so pathetically in public?  That's mal-fucking-practice by Trump's staff.  Somebody needs to stop that shit before it happens.  What's next, Trump's gonna pick his nose and eat it in front of the world media?  I guess Trump is happy that he's more of an embarrassing fucktard than even George W. "Retardboy" Bush.  It's his only accomplishment. 

Monday, October 2, 2017

Girls Go On


Life Goes On


History Calls To A Beautiful Brave Exceptional Patriot Who Will Be The First To Kill 100 With A Gun In A Single Shooting

Who will set the record?  Who will make America so much fucking greater when they move the mass-shooting bar to 100+ people who hate freedom and don't properly love the Constitution?  How soon can that beautiful, exceptional patriot accomplish this important goal?  Please, jesus, help us make American mass-shootings greater and greater!

Winning Bigly In Spain!

Spain must have a Trump in charge!  Spain is not sick of all the winning, either!  Spain knew just how to handle that Catalonia issue.  Fucking genius.  The Trump doctrine spreads all over the world.  Make Spain greater again, too!

Upper Class Serotta Forum Twits = Free Dumb

Whata buncha pussies.  A few of the semi-decent sane-ish twits try to inject a little reality, and the chief manlet gets all jumpy and shuts it down.  Let's just pray for the victims.  That'll help.  Prayer.  Good idea.  Vile fuckers.

Massive And Exceptional Eruption Of Freedom And Love For The Constitution In Las Vegas

Praise jesus that there are still people out there who love America and freedom and the Constitution.  America is the only place in the world where good people who truly are free can express their love of freedom the way jesus intended.  An exceptional display of American freedom by a beautiful white man is about the most amazing thing any patriot will ever see.  True christian patriots all around America are overjoyed when love of freedom and the 2nd Amendment come together in glorious expressions of American exceptionalism.  MAGA!

Sunday, October 1, 2017

Punk Dads Getting It Done In Their Dotage


Young And Live

Finally, OJ Can Find The Real Killer

OJ will be winning bigly in 2017 just like Trump!  2017 is the year of winning bigly for Trump and OJ!

Winning Bigly With San Juan's Own Carmen Yulin Cruz

Is she tired of winning bigly with Trump?  Are we all sick of winning yet?  When, exactly, will we all get sick of this winning shit?

Choose Gif


Fuckface Teabagging Simpletons Shall Always Be With Us

No matter what they say.  Racist shithead teabaggers and violent guntard Republicans are a cancer America will never cure in our lifetime.

Winning Bigly With Trump In Puerto Rico

The master negotiator and business genius never gets tired of winning!  Make golf great again!  Trump!

Jesus Frakking Christ, The Twits Never Fail To Suck AND Blow

Grrrr...we're alpha twits! Grrrrr, we're so fucking awesome.  Or something.  But seriously, the upper class is a bunch of fucking dipshits, way too stupid to defend themselves against logic and reason.  Or reading. 

Takers