Sunday, January 31, 2016

Liz Cheney What The Actual Fuck

Is there hope that even Wyoming is not fucking deranged enough to elect Liz Cheney to Congress?  That's a shit ton to ask of a place like Wyoming...I guess the best hope is that the Cheney family in general and Liz Cheney in particular are so detestable that not even the likes of Wyoming are that fucking useless.  I guess we'll see who put the X in exceptional America.

Brian Williams On Air With Rachel Maddow

That's fucking sad.  Of all the dimwit dickheads you could run out onto your cable tee vee thing, why the fuck would you have that asshole?  Jesus.

Why Does MSNBC Have That Miserable Cocksucker From CBN On?

CBN is the Christian Broadcasting Network and David Brody is the vile shitstain on MSNBC today.  In other words, Pat Roberston, 700 Club and all that disgusting, insane bullshit was in full view on a purportedly major cable news outlet.  I mean, we know why MSNBC would have an idiot like that on their tee vee cable thing, but that doesn't make it good for anyone with more than a couple of functional brain cells rattling around in their fucking skull.  Liberal media?  Yeah, if you're the dumbest motherfucker on the planet you might believe that.  If you happen to not be that dumbest motherfucker, you have NBC Universal Comcast enabling and validating Pat Robertson's demented christian scam.  Great. 

Saturday, January 30, 2016

A Cor Vos Photo

Cor Vos still at it--though Cor Vos the photographer is now Cor Vos the company.  Still, it's weird to think about how small the whole media/consumer community surrounding bike racing was in the US before the internets, with the specialty mags and papers and a few recognizable writers and photographers bringing the scene to life for American fans.  Cor Vos and Graham Watson brought their vision of European pro cycling to millions thousands dozens of us for what seems like forever.


In 2016, There Are Idiots Everywhere

Slagging on Rivendell is so last decade--or last century.  You don't need to love it all or even have one, but you gotta be a pea-brained dilettante to be such a blathering fool at this late date.  Pretty sure the dude doesn't know what obsolete means, either, cuz if that 1984 touring bike fit you, you could pretty much ride it for the next 10,000 years without it becoming obsolete.  Sure, if you wanted electric shifting and disc brakes, then 1984 is not working for you, but if you wanted rugged and reliable, well...

Assholes gotta be assholes cuz America is exceptional. 

Today's Fucking Scum

So fucking dumb.  They're fucking stupid enough to make Mormons or Scientologists look reasonable.  Or sane.  Almost.

Friday, January 29, 2016

Soft Goods Industry

Song starts at 2:13.  Trevails of the soft goods industry first.

Fox "News" Couldn't Trump Trump

Whether Trump's debate stunt was brilliant or cowardly or not quite either, Fox "News" lost the first big battle of their war with Donald Trump, and that in itself is kinda fucking remarkable.  Nobody has dared to take on Fox "News"--and that fool Obama even went on for an exclusive with preening pervert Bill O'Reilly--but Trump went right at them in a pretty fucking high-profile way.  This could be more than really fucking entertaining; it could be a much-needed sea-change in American politics, with Fox "News" being marginalized and alienated actively by the rest of the political and media establishment. 

La 7

Thursday, January 28, 2016

Re-Thinking Bernie

The 2016 election comes down to this: how much people really dislike Hillary Clinton (and Bill)?  Bernie is not much different from Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama, but he isn't Hillary.  How much will that matter?  As of today, a fuckload, but by this summer?  Could Sanders get the nomination?  Sure.  Likely?  No, Hillary is the institutional favorite until she starts losing bigtime.  Would Sanders win the general election?  Sure.  Over Trump?  Yep.  Cruz, Bush, or whoever?  Absolutely.  Sanders is a politician, mainstream and boring, just like Clinton, but the best thing Sanders has going for him is he not a fucking Clinton.  Will that be enough?

Huckabee Sucks Up To Trump And Santorum Leaves A Mark

Neither is going to be Trumps Veep, but I guess Huckabee stands more chance than greasy Santorum.  Apparently Huckabee was a governor of something or some shit.  Kasich is the guy who should be sucking Trump hard even if it's a really long shot Trump would pick a worthless stooge like Kasich.

Is Marco Rubio Wearing A Rug?

Rubio looks awful, worse than usual even, on the tee vee tonight, like he's medicated or possibly embalmed.  Anyone who thought Marco Rubio was a viable national candidate is a fucking moron.

Challenger Day 2016

1986.  Probably wasn't the end of the space program as we know it--the final Apollo missions were cancelled and the shuttle program was nothing beyond low orbit with no next-generation shuttle or anything else in the pipeline--but it was a very public failure and a very expensive failure.  If NASA had been at all serious about manned spaceflight in the 1970s and later, the shuttle would not have been a dead end.  The Challenger explosion was a huge cover-up, but the reporting was excellent at first.  The story got out pretty quickly that the crew was probably alive till the impact with the water, and reporters reported the day after the bodies were recovered and placed in barrels to be brought back to NASA.  Eventually the lies took over, and the good reporting was mostly lost to history in the pre-internets world.  Reading the reporting at the time was fucking scary though, and quite disheartening in the sense that if the vehicle had been properly designed, the crew might have been able to swim back to shore. 

Jag-Stang At Work

Will A Trump Ally Pop Up In The Debate

Are any of those dickbags gonna stand up and try and shill for Trump if he doesn't show up?  Who wants to be VP or an ambassador or something?  It would be an insane and very Trumpian move for one of the scrubs to start pummeling Cruz over his Canadian shit or his other lies or to see one of the weasel governors go after Rubio over his frightening creepiness and incredible ass-hattery.  Too bad Huckabee is in the matinee. 

Qwik Az Rainbowz

Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Michael Moore Calls For Arrest Of Gov. Rick Snyder Again Tonight

On MSNBC.  Yes, good.  How come every fucking idiot on MSNBC and every other channel isn't joining him?  Where's Obama?  Where's the outrage?  Snyder should be dropped in a CIA torture prison for the next 30 years or so "awaiting trial" like a 10 year-old Muslim in Gitmo.

If Snyder had been a mouthy black kid and not a Republican governor, he'd be dead by now. 

Jerry Falwell Jr. Seals The Deal

I mean it's Jerry Fallwell. Junior!  That's pretty much game over for every other candidate.  Jerry Falwell JUNIOR is endorsing Trump, so what can you say except "Hell, Yeah!"  Not just Jerry Falwell, but the Junior one.  The kid.  The second one.  The new Jerry Falwell.  Following in the footsteps of the fat one.  And he wants you to vote Trump.  Clearly jesus in on this shit.

Why Were The Oregon Terrorist Shitbirds Driving Anywhere?

Those idiots were driving to a meeting 50 miles away.  Why did they think they'd get away with it?  Anyone leaving or attempting to enter the occupation area should immediately be arrested.  Or shoot all of them.  Either way.  Where are all the murderous jack-booted thugs when you need 'em?

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Is Trump REALLY Trying To Geld Fox "News"?

Is Donald Trump attempting to do what Obama and the Dems should have done in 2007 & 2008?  Is this nonsense about the debate and the fatuous Megyn Kelly in reality part of a long-game plan to weaken the influence of Fox "News" and the loathsome Murdoch family?  So far, Trump has done an excellent job of dismantling his Republican political rivals, Jeb!, Rubio, Carson, Cruz, and if Trump is literally on the ball enough to recognize Fox "News" as a political enemy, that says way too much about the way Trump is way better at the game than Obama or any Dem.  That's fucking terrifying.  Even worse is if he has the stick to do what no one else has been able to do in the past 20 years and mitigate the influence of one of the greatest of America's enemies, Fox "News".  If the nightmare is real and Trump is some sort of political Jedi master and not a raving, racist fuckknob...

Sammy Hagar Weekend As An American Cultural Artifact

Or something.  But the big question is: who is right about Sammy Hagar, young Bob or old Bob?

Conservatives Are Really Fucking Stupid, Today's Edition

Just. Fucking. Dumb.  But dipshits like this are out there every day making your life worse and ruining the future for the whole fucking planet.  Conservative christians are wrong on every thing, every time, no matter how important or how trivial. 

Jeffrey St. Clair On Fukushima

And stuff.  The revisionist history on Fukushima is not at all surprising, but it is both especially sad and extraordinarily dangerous.  Stipulate to all the health and environmental dangers of commercial nuclear power, and you still have all the money that the failed and failing nuclear industry sucks up, preventing the research and implementation of cleaner and safer renewable energy infrastructure.  We don't talk enough about that: nukes are so fucking expensive that they waste obscene amounts of money while poisoning our environment and our politics and retard the innovation into better sources of energy.  That fucking sucks, dudes.

Monday, January 25, 2016

X-Files Was Fine

Dumb, silly, but the same as it ever was--not a lick of it made even the slightest bit of sense.  Chris Carter is a dope, basically as big a dipshit as J.J. Abrams and Ronald D. Moore, but the show works because Duchnovy and Anderson make the goofiness function as entertainment.  Even though it doesn't make any sense--yet another alien plot, or not, but the X-Files suddenly reopened with people not even in the Bureau anymore and so on--the new show is a pretty decent recreation of the best of the original, and that is way more than anyone had expected.

Mitch Pileggi has gotta be the happiest man in the fucking world about now as this mini-series should reignite his guest-starring cred with the various and sundry Canadian sci-fi shows currently in production; look for him on Orphan Black and The Expanse and Kill-Joys.  And even though he never got promoted n the last 14 years, his AD Skinner must have super powers to somehow get those two washouts Mulder and Scully allowed back into the building.  Bad-ass!

Short Old Piece On Old Guitars

Cuz nothin's more punk than they New York Fucking Times.  Anywho, I guess when the Jazzmasters got wicked expensive, they became valuable to the Times

Shoebatshit Fucking Dickhead V Megyn Kelly

Megyn Kelly is a racist piece of shit dumbfuck, but this Shoebatshit asshole is just a fucking loser.  Jesus, American is a cesspool.  These exceptional fuckbrains are out there destroying our home and our future.

Why Is That Incompetent Fuck Kirk Lippold On Fox "News"

That stupid bastard got his men killed on the USS Cole and should have been drummed out of the Navy and then dropped in a hole for his misconduct and incompetence.  Yet Fox "News" continues to run out this wingnut moron like he knows something about the military or courage or honor or basic safety procedures.

Sunday, January 24, 2016

Mid Way

Snatches Of Pink In Unexpected Places

ANY place is unexpected, really.  But, you know, whatever.

That Arizona TD Came At Least 44 Seconds Too Late

The Cardinals needed that TD in the 3rd, not the 4th.  Too late, assholes.

Update: An epic beating.  Carson Palmer, LOL.

Political Song for Donald Trump to Sing

Brady V Manning Makes All Good Men Pray For Armageddon

Or a surprise volcanic eruption or something.  Jesus, Broncos and Patriots is a classic can't-they-both-lose scenario.  But if they call interference on every one of Manning's uncatchable passes, well, I guess the Broncos couldn't lose...

Update: Probably the best that could be hoped for, considering.  Brady won't be makin' America great again any time soon.

Saturday, January 23, 2016

Why Talk About Bike Handling Without Considering Fit

Jesus, something about this shit is tiresome and tiring in 2016.  Is it more likely that fundamental handling characteristics of racing bikes have changed for some reason, or that the bikes that road pros ride today are different because of the lack of made-to-measure frames in the Chinese plastic era?  Gaulzetti mentioned handlebar shifters, as he's done before--and he's not wrong--but think about the subtle compromises of stock-geometry-for-all ladled on top of the higher, forward shifter position, and that tells you way more than the differences between a 2016 Speshy and a 1976 DeRosa.  Plus not all 70s and 80s Italian/Euro frames were DeRosas or Merckxs, with some builders like Basso being known for quicker handling, and blah, blah, blah...

Didn't we settle this shit in like 1990 or so when the fantastic Tesch bikes and Eisentraut Rainbows showed everyone what a bike that fit properly but was built with quicker handling in mind would be like while other high-zoot American custom builders favored the more sedate classic Euro model, atmo?

Cruz's Ineligibility Marches On & Trump Is Some Kinda Idiot Savant

Even these fellers are gettin' in on it, so you know it's reaching the water-carriers.  Cruz could very well be ruled ineligible, but it won't matter.  It will be too late, and Cruz will already be history.  The value to this shit is to Trump's Iowa fortunes, where Trump knows an Iowa/NH double will give him the nomination--or will at least eliminate Cruz.  Trump has timed this debate perfectly, and it's hard to pin that genius on actual brains, so there must be something akin to idiot savant mojo goin' on.  Cruz has also shown once again that he's a fucking dipshit--he needed to be ready for this but has floundered and flop-sweated his way right out of the race.

Friday, January 22, 2016

Drummer Love: The Greatest Thread On The Internets Today

Excellent.  Butt stuff.  Heh.  This is why Al Gore invented the intertube webs.

National Review's 22 Biggest Assholes In America Issue

Look at those dumb fuckers.  And it's not just Glenn Beck and Bill Kristol, but they had to round up such low-rent shit-stains as Mona Charen, Ben Domenech, Dana Loesch, Michael Medved(!), Katie Pavlich, and Thomas Sowell.  Jesus, they would have been better off finding the nearest group home and forcing the brain-damaged addicts to put together an opinion magazine opposing Trump.  Mona Charen?  That's fucking pathetic.  Trump woulda paid 10 million dollars for such a perfect advertisement for his campaign.  National Review, home of loathsome racists and risible dimwits and fucking vile reactionary cocksuckers since 1955.  Stupid bastards.

Monster Us

David Brock Can't Help Himself

He's too enamored of Hillary, and he's lost all sense.  Which is his thing; when he was a self-hating right-wing slime-merchant, he was a senseless character assassin.  Now he's on the side of the good guys, sorta, but he still can't help himself.  The Sanders campaign seems to be on this; the Blue Nation Review site was purchased last year to become a Democratic propaganda arm of the Clinton campaign, so whatever is said can't really be taken at all seriously.

Unlikely Story Of An Unlikely Good Australian

The white guy in that fucking awesome photo.  Turns out there's a story there--as found in the comments on Deadspin--and that story is the white guy was a fucking Bogan.  Even worse, the 60s were a time when Australia was a racist shithole out of a Donald Trump wet dream.  Peter Norman, white guy, became a pariah in Australia and remained such long after John Carlos and Tommie Smith became widely acknowledged bad-asses.  So, against all reason and experience, the world has to say there was at least one good Australian.  Seriously, those convict motherfuckers are worse than Canadians.

Thursday, January 21, 2016

If Bernie Sanders Got The Same Fawning Press Coverage Trump And Clinton Get

He could easily be elected President.  Whether he would be a progressive leader or ineffectual dreamer in office is not the question.  Trump has a segment of the media buoying his campaign, as does Cruz.  Hillary Clinton has enemies in the press to go along with a stalwart cadre backing her at all costs.  Sanders does not have that.  At best, he's treated as a curiosity and always discussed in comparison to Clinton.  At worst, he is attacked routinely by the mainstream establishment media and continually slandered.  But what if he got the coverage Clinton gets?  What if Sanders was treated as nicely as Trump?  Wouldn't that be interesting.  

Are You REALLY Worried About A President Sanders' Appointments?

Really?  Jesus that's fucking stupid.  More worried about who Sanders will appoint to courts and shit than the people Clinton will appoint?  Really?  That's insanely fucking stupid.  Obama's appointments?  Worried that Sanders would be somehow worse than Obama?  Rahm Emanuel.  Tim Geithner.  Jesus frakking christ, we need a better entry-level Democratic establishment in this country.  Jesus.

Yep, The Right-Wing Cocksuckers Are Trying To Blame Democrats And Blacks And Obama For Flint

Sr. Lee Papa's onit, too.  Fox "News" is part of a concerted effort by the Republicans and their pissboys to blame anyone and everyone except the person who did this: Gov. Rick Snyder.  It's about time for Obama to send some of his big guvmint thugs to drag Snyder a CIA torture prison for a few months until they put him on trial for crimes against humanity.  Let's roll, Obama.

Please Jesus, Make Ted Cruz Ineligible

So all decent gods-fearing Americans can roar with glee as the heads of neocons and teabaggers and other reactionary shitbirds explode all over the place!  What started as ridiculous on its face has grown into a legitimate major fucking problem for Cruz, and if the law professors are right and his not eligible to be elected President, well, hot fucking damn, that is the most hilarious thing I've heard so far today.  Bring on Trump! 

Thanks, Obama.

What Does It Say When Even Bob Dole Hates Ted Cruz?

Besides the fact that Ted Cruz is a fucking moron who destroyed his political prospects years ago with his rampant asshole shtick.  These days Bob Dole has about as much on the ball as a cheese puff, but even that brain-dead snacky poof can rouse himself from the shadows to drop some rancid shit on Cruz's head. 


Wait...What? Lush Is Playing Out In 2016

Huh...Really?  I guess so.  That's...interesting.  I read an interview a while back where Miki Berenyi described herself as a mom in her 40s who works in an office.  But now they're back.  Interesting, in the eventually-every-fucking-band-will-regroup-if-enough-of-em-are-still-alive-way.  Even The Smiths, maybe--see Replacements, The.  (Husker-Du?)  Lush: decent band.  Probably underrated as a band because of the hot, exotic chick thing, but still, decent as a band.  I always thought of Lush as what you got if Throwing Muses and Veruca Salt made a baby band together and raised it in England. 

The Fat Shit On The Megyn Kelly Racist Clown Show Just Blamed The Citizens Of Flint For The Governor's Crimes

Nice job, you fat fuck!  Chris Stirewalt is the fat shit's name.  Now Megyn and that other fucking cunt Dana Perino are trying to blame the EPA and Obama.  Republican governor poisons a town and it's Obama's fault.  Thanks, Obama.

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Al-Jazeera Was Better Than Any Other Cable News In The USA

Frikkin' nuts that they thought Al-Jazeera would work as a name, though.  Some of the news and programs on AJAM were remarkably excellent considering the low bar set by the other outlets--and AJAM didn't resort to weekends full of prison torture porn while pretending it was a news channel.  Still, the name was never going to work in exceptional America.  They shoulda called it Rock Hard Real Man White Patriot News Network or something to get the exceptional Americans out there to watch it and maybe, just maybe see some actual news. 

Why Don't Whites Get BET Awards?

Donald Trump asks the right questions!  This is why America needs Donald Trump to MAKE WHITE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN AND GET THE BET AWARDS FOR THE WHITES.  Only when white people get all the BET awards they deserve will America truly be great again!

Bernie Sanders Nuance In The Strangest Places

Go figure.  But at least someone out there is able to understand the reality of starting your negotiations from the best case and working to a compromise.  That's smart.  Sanders gets it, atmo.  Unlike Obama who started his Obamacare negotiations from the middle and wound up with shit.  Sanders has been in national office for more than 25 years, and we can assume he understands how this shit works.  What he is doing properly is not giving up on his principles before the game even starts.  What's so hard to see about that.  Chait's always a doof, but Krugman's carrying the water for Hillary, and you would think he would know better than that at this point.

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Holy Shit, Cruz Could Be Done After New Hampshire

If Cruz loses Iowa and then gets destroyed in New Hampshire by Trump and comes in behind some of the other losers still in the race for an inspiring third or fourth place, he's finished.  It might sound unlikely right now, but Cruz will not make it to South Carolina if he loses Iowa.  Pretty obvious Cruz knows this from the way he's acting out on the trail this week.  He knows he's in deep shit if Iowa doesn't turn out for him; the rest of America will be laughing as Cruz's campaign implodes in the most embarrassing way possible. 

How Fucking Stoned Was Sarah Palin Today When She Endorsed Trump?

Trump and Palin are exactly what exceptional America deserves.  Jesus, Palin was fucking ripping, though.  Was she smoking meth or shooting speedballs in the green room?  We may never know the answer to these questions but tune in next time for another exciting episode of Bullshit, or Not?

Arianna Huffington: Super Genius

September 2015.  How'd that work out, Arianna?  Jesus.

Ben Carson: Exceptional American Ass Clown

The scam Carson was running and calling it a campaign was looking for an excuse to drop the campaign part of the grift, and there it is.  Carson is not exactly a coward so much as a skeevy rip-off artist fleecing the old folks and mental defectives out there in the Republican hinterland.

Purposely Obtuse Establishment Democrat Or Just An Asshole?

Is it odd that establishment Dem-types are always shitting on anyone in their party approaching center-left?  No, of course not.  The Dem presidents since the 60s have been very far right: Carter, Clinton, Obama--not a leftie or center-leftie among 'em.  But that's the same old point: single payer health care, universal health care, moderate centrist policies are not priorities for the Democratic Party and never have been.  The Democratic Party establishment is a rock-ribbed conservative party and always has been.  Yes, at times the Dems have been more sane, pragmatic, successful, useful than the loathsome Republicans, but never has the Democratic Party been anything approaching left or liberal or whatever, so things like Single Payer have never been priority.  For Bernie Sanders, who is a boring centrist, things like universal health care matter, but he knows the party and the nation need to start somewhere.  That somewhere is with Sanders or it is not at all in 2016.  Odd that a purported health care "expert" is so enamored by with the existing Democratic establishment?  No, of course not.

Kool Kids Bike

Rock Lobster.  Tiny.  20" wheels.  Cool.  Hope that kid has a half-dozen bike ridin' younger siblings!

Not Even Terry Branstad Likes Ted Cruz

Brandstad is a fucking zero, but he is the Republican governor of Iowa, and even he can't stand Ted Cruz.  Jesus.  Cruz is a fucking shit show, and the Republicans have no candidate to stop Trump.  Brilliant! 

Monday, January 18, 2016

Brutal Review Of '13 Hours'

Fuck, that was fun.  13 Hours undoubtedly deserves every scintilla of the opprobrium for Michael Bay reasons alone, but when you add in the risible politics and Fox "News" wet-and-sticky cheerleading, the flick might go down as worst ever.  Nothing wrong with that.  Blake Goble's review on CoS is even better for the hilarious and creepy comments from the myriad of teabaggers and other nasty, ignorant fuckwits.  Nothing like a vulgar orgy of insanity to remind you just what the exceptional American is really like.

Le Week End

Sunday, January 17, 2016

After The Seahawks Performance Against The Patriots Last Year

All good and decent gods-fearing freedom loving exceptional Americans should cheer without reservation every time Russell Wilson throws a pick-six against Carolina today, amen.

Saturday, January 16, 2016

All You

Patriots Conspire With Trump To Make America Suck Again

And again.  Sure the Chiefs contributed to the wretched state of affairs, but Trump's pissboy Brady and the rest of the Patsies are bringing the suck all the way back to America.  Exceptional!

You, Better

Late period Who is odd.  This was 1981.  Unknown Pleasures was released in 1979. 

Thanks To Jesus, We Get To Watch Republicans Complain About More Americans Freed

Good fun!  Nothing better than watching the Republicans get pissed that some Americans are getting released from captivity.  Thanks, Obama.  Literally.  Republicans hate that shit.

Friday, January 15, 2016

Ted Cruz's Jew York Values

Cruz was right about one thing when he brought up New York values: many Americans knew exactly what he was talking about.  But besides being really offensive and bigoted, it was astoundingly fucking stupid for Cruz to give Trump such an obvious hammer with which Trump could gleefully smash Cruz with impunity.  Dumb, dumb, dumb.  But Cruz has always been a vulgar imbecile to anyone actually paying attention.

Bowie's Trick

David Bowie's trick was to remain somewhat relevant almost into the 90s, essentially one of two 60s-era musicians to do so; Lou Reed was the other.  When punk shattered into a zillion shards of independent music, with the glory days of 1980's college radio blossoming in the following years, classic rock solidified into a crumbling mass of worn-out music, with none of those classic rock acts making the leap into the new independent, pre-Nevermind glory days.  Except for Bowie.  David Bowie had always been a relentless careerist, and his best days were in the 70s, but still, he got his props, even after that execrable Queen thing and the equally wretched Mick Jagger thing.  David Bowie remarkably kept his rep the same way Lou Reed did, somehow managing to play in the same college rock sandbox with Husker Du and the Smiths.  That was his greatest trick.

Bernie Sanders Not A Socialist?

Not a socialist!  Of course, not.  But that's fine.  Just fine.  Is Sanders a better candidate than Clinton?  Yes, and that is what's most important.  Sanders is a mainstream politician, elected to national office for the last 25 years, and nothing at all radical.  All this shit should be obvious to anyone and everyone, but with all the horseshit being piled up everywhere during the campaign cycle, it needs to be said over and over.  Sanders is a boring centrist and is easily electable because his very mundane political ideas have wide appeal.  Too bad he can't get any realistic press coverage.  But better Sanders than Clinton regardless. 

Thursday, January 14, 2016


Racist Guntard Shitheads Killing Each Other Is The Greatest Thing Ever

Fuck yeah!  Now THAT'S American exceptionalism for ya'.  These violent cocksuckers getting hammered and shooting each other is the best thing that ever happened anywhere in America, and all we can do is pray to jeebus that it happens thousands of times each and every day till we are fresh out of racist guntard fuckwads.  Very little good ever happens anywhere, but this shit is the greatest innovation in American history.  Thank all the gods that you were alive to witness all this. 

Holy Shit, Amanda Knox Killed Another Girl In Italy

What the fuck? Amanda Knox is a fucking killing machine!  Where's the justice?  Where's vengeance?  Who else could have done it besides Amanda Knox?  Surely she's committed every murder in Italy ever!  Wait...what? 

Exceptionally American

Exceptionally American Deranged Reactionary Shitstains Of The Day, Today

Irving Kristol. Owen Harries.  Owen Harries may be a generic geriatric right-wing goon, but Irving Kristol is more than simply a simple-minded reactionary neo-con scumbag corpse because he gave the world the wondrously demented fuckbrain and risible stooge Bill Kristol, and, for that, we are all owe Irv an extra kick square in the nuts.  Unfortunately for all of us, Kristol and Harries' simplistic brand of tawdry fascism lives on.

Where Not To Go For Your Cross Coverage

Gossip people.  Yeah, that's not the cross coverage you were looking for.

So Much For The Galaxy Quest Sequel

Not gonna happen now that Hans Gruber has died.  For some weird reason Tim Allen is still alive.

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Virag's Movie Reviews: Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015)

The best J.J. Abrams film ever?  Yes, the best J.J. Abrams film ever!

But that bar is so fucking low that it's buried 2 meters underground in the the ninth circle of hell.

That said, The Force Awakens works as a direct remake, sometimes bordering on shot-for-shot, of the original George Lucas Star Wars.  It is entertaining for what it is and goes by quickly, especially in the first half.  Abrams is not responsible for that, though.  He didn't direct this film so much as he was hired to be the face of the Disney group which constructed the story, the script, and the filming.  The flick would have been known as the most ridiculous fan service monster in human history if not for the one entity serviced even more blatantly than the fans: Harrison Ford.  35 years later he got what he wanted.  And now the luckiest people in movies are gonna be Mark Hamill and Carrie Fisher--I doubt Disney will give up on the old folks in the next one, so those two are gonna be prominently featured and will ride the next SW movie off into the sunset.

As far as this one, it's too bad that the script committee didn't have a touch more loyalty to the idea of explaining shit and characterization--ya know, worldbuilding and all that.  The movie could have gone 10 minutes longer in the interest of making it a little less dumb since the stupid was hella strong with this one--lasers shooting across the galaxy in seconds is just the beginning of all the nonsense that nobody involved with the script seemed interested in explaining, or explaining away, in any sense.  (Undoubtedly one reason why the Mouse hired Abrams was that J.J. had neither the balls nor the talent to interfere with the product with any obvious questions any 8 year old moviegoer would have.)  The biggest disappointment is the knowledge that so much could have been done with the material that didn't involve a tired rehash of desert planets and aimless youngsters and Death Stars and lightsabered mentors and shit.  The thing looked good though.  The FX worked pretty well, and the production was well-suited to multiple viewings in the theater--undoubtedly on purpose, as well.  Probably the biggest weakness beyond all the obvious shit was Adam Driver.  At least he continues the Star Wars tradition of awful casting making poorly-written characters essentially unwatchable.  Go team!  Everyone else was okay enough and didn't threaten to ruin it the way Driver and Kylo Ren did.

Maybe the next one will be better.  Empire Strikes Back was pretty good.  What will they call the ice planet in that next one?

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

1 Thousand

Love Is Hell, 1989

You what else holds up?  Love Is Hell.  Even better with the EP at the end.  All that strummy bass guitar and noise are sublime.  And that shit is as good today as it was when it came out.  The entire album is fucking fab.  1989 was a long time ago.

HDTV Is Not A Friend To Nikki Haley

She looks like a fucking space alien.  If there's lizard people in America, she's one.  Why the fuck can't she do a better job reading from the prompter?  How hard is it to practice this shit?  Her crazy eyes look like they're gonna pop out of her head trying to follow the words in front of her.  Rubio was a fucking disaster.  Piyush was  a fucking disaster.  And now Haley has permanently crossed herself off Trump's Veep list.  Nice going, Governor.

The Republicans have no one even halfway decent in their national party.  Haley is a fucking loser--big enough to even be running for president--but she was the best they could do?  Really?  Fucking hell, the Republicans might not survive till 2020 even if Trump gets sucked into another dimension before midnight tonight.  Where are the national Republicans who are not completely embarrassing and worthless?  Nowhere.  There are none!

Thanks Obama.

China, EVs, And Coal

And not anything Saab at all.  Fine, whatever.  But if you create a state-sponsored reliance on electric cars subsidized by the power companies but the power is generated by burning coal, what have you accomplished?  China has boocoo problems with pollution and air quality, but electric cars are really not going to help.  China cannot support an American or European concentration of automobiles--nor can the planet.  Truly imaginative solutions are needed regarding growth and transportation in China.  Is China up to it?  Fuck no.

It Would Be Kinder To Light Someone On Fire

Than to make them sit through a State of the Union address.  Democrat, Republican, it doesn't matter.  Every SotU is insulting bullshit and utterly worthless.  Obama should be especially regretful considering how badly he failed at a time when leadership and progress were needed--fools and fluffers notwithstanding.  Now we get to anticipate the glory and insanity that Trump will bring!

Never Was A Liberal Media: Those Two Assholes On MSNBC At 6 PM

So, MSNBC decided it would be a good job to put establishment media conservative numbskulls Mark Halperin and John Heilemann and their Bloomberg TV show on every weekday at 6pm instead of say an actual center-left Democrat like Al Sharpton.  Keep that in mind every time some dickhead conservatives cries like a pussy about the "liberal media" and shit like that.  There never was a liberal media--forever and ever the media has been a stalwart servant of the establishment ordained by the ruling class, and in the USA that establishment was never for one second anything resembling left or liberal or progressive. 

Too Bad That National Championship Game Could Not Precipitate A Kaiju Incursion

It would have been lovely to see that demented fuckface Dabo Swinney being flattened by an enormous genetically engineered monster from another dimension after praying with fellow demented fuckface Ben Carson.  Then the exceptionally decent Kaiju could have spent an enjoyable time stepping on the rest of the bastards from Clemson and Alabama before the Jaegers show up to punch the beasts in the face. 

Monday, January 11, 2016

Jesus, If Trump Wins Iowa, The Republicans Are Fucked

There's no way Trump should win in Iowa--as Iowa Republicans often go for completely worthless jesus-fluffing morons in that stupid caucus--but if Trump does win Iowa, then Donald Trump will go on to win almost every subsequent primary and get the nomination without serious challenge.  And then the Republican Party is completely fucked.  By the time Trump is done with them and loses not only the White House but also the House and the Senate, the Republicans will no longer be a functional and functioning political party.  The most likely outcome will be three hard-right, unelectable parties: the Teabagger Party, the Jesus-Sucking American Taliban/ISIS Party, and the rump of the former Republican Party.  Nobody will get elected to anything nationally from any of those parties, so it is gonna be a good time to be either a Democrat or a center-left-to-actual-left American.

The conservative political and media establishment, as represented here by the vile Washington Post, may be scared shitless of Trump right now, but for all semi-decent and/or semi-sane Americans, these are the motherfrakking salad days.

Since Trump is not expected to win Iowa, a loss will not be damaging in any way, but the unlikely win will sling-shot him right to the Republican nomination and an historic general election defeat.

Sunday, January 10, 2016

Frakking Packers Over Washington Is Obvious

Washington is one of the shittier of the uber-shitty, so watching A A Ron and the rest of Packers kick those vile fuckers around is about the best American can do these days.

Ace Iz High

Saturday, January 9, 2016

When Will That Kenyan Quisling Obama Denounce The ISIS Bottom Bracket?

Obama, pussy, coward, Muslim, has steadfastly refused to fight against the exceptionally anti-American ISIS because he is a gay-married homersexual black gun-grabber, but even more disgusting is the fact that not once has O-bummer denounced the ISIS bottom bracket!  What kind of country is this?  Thank the gods President Trump will not allow 10-spine bottom brackets to challenge American exceptionalism or take our guns!

Jesus, Kansas City Is Just Fucking With Houston In The Wild Card Game

The game is a mess if you wanted Houston to win for some odd reason, and the broadcast on ESPN is a droning mess as well.  Maybe those idiots expected some sort of wild shoot-out and have been lulled into a stupor by the lopsided play.  Not sure. 

Friday, January 8, 2016

Nature Circa 1983

Memo To Blacks: Maine Has The White Chicks You Wanna Knock Up

I think this is a Jedi mind trick: these are the white girls you want to knock up, Blacky.  LePage is a Wiley Coyote Super Genius, and he knows all the white girls in Maine will give it up to any Negroes from New York or Connecticut who bring cocaine or heroin.  Not sure why he's using his Jedi powers and broadcasting to the whole world unless he wants those boys coming to Maine to bone the white chicks. 

Maybe LePage wants to watch or somethin'. 

Beat(en) On

Thursday, January 7, 2016

Jesus Christ, Even John McCain Doesn't Like Ted Cruz

John McCain is one of the biggest fuckheads in Senate history--and even that asshole McCain can't stand Ted Cruz.  I guess if the Republicans in the Senate can take shots at Cruz, they are going to do just that each and every time.  That's pretty funny.  It's hard to win elections when the folks who should be your strongest supporters are working very publicly to undermine your campaign.  Heh, indeedy.

Fox "News" Is Very Concerned About Women's Safety When Scary Mooslims--Bill O'Reilly Not So Much

Assault: bad.  But for Fox "News", all of the sudden sexual assault is the worst fucking thing in the world when it is scary mooslim immygrints.  Otherwise, sexual assault is not that big of a deal for the Fox "News" types when it is Bill O'Reilly or Republicans or priests or cops or whoever. 

Wednesday, January 6, 2016

Mind Bomb, 1989

It holds up. Almost 27 years and it holds up extraordinarily well.  The Quietus piece is a little breathlessly shallow and cloying, but that's not a big deal--I get it.  I always figured the stark and blunt content of the album comes from an implied narration done from the perspective of a survivor of all the political and personal violence described in the music.  The album is not presented as a premonition but as a memory--a painful and debilitating memory of a survivor who would rather have just died with almost everyone else and made everything easier.  Whatever, the music is awesome from Johnny Marr and the band and the lyrics both touching and hilarious, sometimes simultaneously.  And the content is terribly prescient.  Matt Johnson was writing in 1988 & 1989, and he really did see so much of the coming shit storm.

Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Donald Trump Will Be Anal Bleach For The Republican Soul

Trump is not getting elected to anything--and when he destroys the Republican elections nationally for a generation, all the anal bleach in the bible belt is not gonna clean up that stain.  Trump is magic in the way he has undone the work of the national Republicans in the last 45 years, but because Trump cannot--and will not--deliver an electoral victory, the Republican Party will not likely survive in any recognizable form.  The Republicans desperately needed to maintain control over the rancid core of their base, but Trump has destroyed that ability.  They had a decent run, but Trump's megalomania and comical ignorance have proven to be the magic spell which has freed the nasty shitheaded teabaggers from the yoke of Republican control.  They'll never get 'em back now, and without those miserable fucking morons to prop up Republican brand, it is fucking over.  We've got less than a year of this fun, fun, fun funfetti, along with the Republican Party, so we should fucking enjoy it while we can.

Guns N' Roses Sucked Hard In 1987

29 years ago GN'R was a shitty joke--there was never any danger, any rebellion, any decent music.  To believe that Guns N' Roses was any sort of rock and roll monster, unconcerned about money or marketing or society's rules is beyond laughable.  That dumb band was always and ONLY about the risible image and tawdry marketing.  GN'R was shit in 1987 and they will be shit in 2016.

When Will America Wake Up To The Homosexual Agenda Destroying Our Faith And Our Society?

Trump won't save us--he's from New York City!!  They have fags there!  Only jesus can save us, and America does not love jesus enough!  The homos will kill us all!  They hate freedumb!

I am the Republican Man of the Year.

Oregon: Yep

Always was, probably always will be a weird fucking place stuffed up with a toxic mix of fruity, hippie idiots, scabrous, racist gun nuts, and socially awkward cranks.  If you read up on Ory-gonn here, there, or elsewhere you will likely get more and more surprised that the whole enterprise manages to keep chugging along in the 21st century.  And ask the important question: (besides the racist shitheads) why has anyone ever said yes to Oregon and no to Washington and California?  How often will that answer be fucking awful?  America!

Monday, January 4, 2016

Ted Rall Cops And Guns

Ted Rall: not a fan of cops with guns.  Good.  Cops should not have guns.  Normal, beat cops, traffic-stopping cops, flatfoots, Officer Friendly, none of those clowns should be armed.  If we got rid of the guns for everyone else, we could get rid of the guns for the cops, too.  That would make everyone safer, especially those cops who die from a shot from their own weapons.  And black kids.  And black men.  And black women.  And everyone else.  But mostly black people.

Nah, 'Avatar' Is Not Any Good

Avatar is not a good flick.  Nope.  It's not any good because once you've seen it once, you have no desire to watch it a second time.  There's nothing compelling on the screen which bears repeated viewings.  North by Northwest, now there's a movie you can watch multiple times.  Highlander, too. 

Not All Conservatives Are Hilarious Imbeciles

But this fucking asshole sure as shit is.  He's also not any kind of real doctor.  But this fuckwit Michael Hurd is a rock-ribbed teabagging moron without an iota of understanding of science or math or politics or economics or anything else important.  In other words, not-at-all-doctor Michael Hurd is the perfect Republican in 2016.

Slagging Eric Clapton Is Always Fun

Pissy insults, even from a hackneyed and shallow grade-Z douchenozzle-in-training, are always worthwhile when the target is the comically revered Eric Clapton.  Though, you gotta give Clapton credit for milking this shit for five fucking decades.

Sunday, January 3, 2016

Let's Treat Those Shitheads In Oregon Like They Were Black Children!

Fucking terrorist scum.  They shoulda gotten exactly as much time to surrender as Tamir Rice did before getting sniper rounds straight between the eyes.  Those fucking dickheads are using their white skin as a shield against deadly force--and they know it will work!  It's time to go all Ruby Ridge and Waco on these bastards--besides being funny as fuck, that would make all the guntard racist pussies shit their pants.  Even better, Obama should round up every Muslim soldier currently serving in the armed forces and give them a Dirty Dozen-style six hours of special training and send them in to clear those cocksuckers out with deadly force shouting "Allahu Akbar!"--or "Akbar and Jeff!"--I don't care either way.  That would be a fitting end for the Bundy family and the rest of those losers. 

Even Yet Still More Hopelessly Ignorant Racist Assholes

Exceptional Americans!  If only Obama truly were a tyrannical liberal despot, bent on obliterating the teabaggers and other reactionary fuckwits.  If only!  Then he'd send in his Mooslim thugs to beat these fuckers into a greasy smear of exceptional American racist fucktardery.  That would be making America great again.

But The Dolphins Did The Gods' Work Today Because They Love All The Gods So Fucking Much

Nothing and no one could ever love the gods as much as Dolphins, so it was good to see the silly fishes kick the Patsies when they were down.  We thank jesus for all the meager gifts of ignominious defeats of millionaires and vile scumbags making America great again that we will ever receive.

Washington And Dallas Did Not End With An Asteroid Impact

There are no gods in any of the hells mankind ever imagined.  Fucking bastards.

Exceptional American Asswhipes

And jesus-freak nimrods.  If exceptional America was not filled to rim with comically ignorant and insane dipshits, America would be an exceptionally empty place.

Saturday, January 2, 2016

Of Course The New 'Top Gear' Is Going To Be A Shit Show

Top Gear is dead--and this shit show won't bring it back.  Auntie Beeb should have given up the title, but they couldn't.  Too much money.  Until they waste it all with that awful show that nobody really wants to watch once the real Top Gear assholes get their new show going.  Too bad the BBC didn't have the balls to change up the format and the name, go for something new and original and let the Stig character rest in piece.  Unless they hire Ben Collins to be the Stig again.  That would be pretty funny.

Sabine Schmitz used to be called Sabine Reck.  That's pretty funny, too.

Ben Carson: Exceptional American Disarray

That dumb bastard Carson is funfetti last year, this year, and any year.  Somehow this stupid fuck wound up as a prominent candidate in one of our exceptional American major political parties.  That's just fucking grand.  At least we can all point and laugh at the rancid incompetence.  That's something.

Friday, January 1, 2016