Monday, August 31, 2015

Sunday, August 30, 2015

Trump's Clovis Point

This Sam Clovis is a real Republican piece of shit, but I guess we can assume he likes money.  Being a principled reactionary dickhead is all fine and dandy until the money runs out, so if the Perry campaign quits paying, you find a better deal.  Trump pays.  I guess.  Clovis's point is that you should follow the money, and maybe Clovis believes Trump has shot now.  We will all know in a month or so, and in the meantime Clovis keeps collecting that check.

Debbie Wasserman Schultz And Your Not-At-All Worthless Democratic Party

Remember, the Dems are the party which is so much better than the vile Republicans.  But better at what, exactly?  Schultz is a party leader.  Schultz is going against the President from her party.  What does that tell you?  Schumer is the same way.  But this is the party all you fools must support at all times no matter what.  Remember that.  This is YOUR Democratic party at work.

You Always Know A Bullshit Story When You Hear It

The proof is always on Fox "News".  Of course the story was nonsense, with exceptionally heroic Americans and everyone else fucking useless.  But Americans love that shit, more than others it seems, so the lies became the truth as usual.  Fuck Yeah!

Obama's Having Too Much Fun Trolling Teabaggers

He shoulda' been fucking with them like this since day one.  That would have imploded the Republican party by the 2010 midterms.  The exploded head cleanup would have been a valuable jobs program, too.  Yes, it's fun now, but seven years ago it could have really made America a better place.

Jessica Mendoza Is Better Than Curt Schilling

So, ESPN, let's keep Schilling the fuck off the air and put Mendoza on permanently.  Anything that fuck's Schilling is good clean fun, and Mendoza is certainly no worse during the broadcast.  Even better, replacing Schilling with a woman will drive the teabaggers and other assorted asswhipes fucking crazy.

Yankees 4 20

Well, I guess they got their money's worth in the seats this afternoon.  Assuming you wanted to sit there and watch that shit show.  Jeebus.

Saturday, August 29, 2015


The Whole Entire Ass

Human garbage. And I'm not talkin' Trump.  The fools and twits and dipshits from the self-selected bastion of American futility might seriously believe that Ted Cruz is anything other a brainless clown and reactionary fuckstick.  Anyone whose intellectual development ceased sometime in elementary school is neither intelligent nor well-educated, Princeton and Harvard notwithstanding.  Princeton IS a home for some very intelligent students, but the majority is sadly average, and Harvard, well, it is a glorious brand name in education with sadly lacking standards compared to the common beliefs.  To see what passes for reasonable people on that forum concede the completely obvious point that Ted Cruz is not very smart is fucking sad because those assholes are what passes for the center in American politics, and they are fucking dumb as rocks.

Thursday, August 27, 2015

Boy Those Spaceships On 'Killjoys' And 'Dark Matter' Sure Are Roomy

Cathedral ceilings, wide open passageways, completely normal artificial gravity.  And where do they keep the fuel on those things?  And the supplies for the crew, food, water?  Lucy zips around the solar system in Killjoys in minutes and does atmospheric liftoff and reentry like its not ever any problem whatsoever, while the Raza on Dark Matter has super nifty FTL propulsion and handy-dandy shields and a perfectly humanoid android who does everything without much muss or fuss.  Pretty amazingly unbelievable.  It sucks that design language for tee vee spacecraft is always Star Trek and never 2001.  I get that both Killjoys and Dark Matter have to produce each episode for no more than 1300 or 1400 Canadian dollars, but jeez.  I guess a (more) realistic space action tee vee show would be pretty boring.  And expensive.

The Insane Teabagging Attacks On Planned Parenthood Are Failing

Thank the gods.  And it's not just the Trump mania but also the risible incompetence of the anti-choice lunatics behind the cheesy fake videos.  I'd like to see way more of the Democratic candidates for 2016 at every level taking this momentum and slaying reactionary insanity.  That should be one of the keys to total victory in this upcoming election.

Donald Trump Is America's Racist Idiot God

All the nastiest fuckheads in America love Trump.  The racists and supremacists feel all the Trump love, and they're crawling out from their holes all over the place.  This is the face of American exceptionalism. 

Notice That iCarly's Poll Numbers Still Suck

After the bullshit theme that Fiorina was taking off the first debate, reality has set in, and iCarly's numbers still suck.  She's at the same level, ~5%, as losers like Christie.  Fiorina is every bit as much a loser as Jindal and Huckabee, and the joke is on Fox "News" and the rest of the establishment idiots. 

This Is The Ugliest Car In The History Of The Galaxy

Vomitrocious.  That idiot-Camaro nose is just the beginning of the horror.  Fuck.

16,500 Has Been The Key Number Forever For The Dow

Intraday trading today was right around 16500, again, and I was really wondering if that level would hold after the steep drops a earlier in the week.  I shouldn't be surprised, since I've been using 16500 as the key level for what feels like forever even if it's really only been a bit short of 18 months.  That's a hell of a long time.  So far, so good, I guess.  If we're at 16500 or better at the end of Q3 and the plan is still working, well, hell, yeah.

Update: Even after hours, though, I couldn't help but get into it with someone who should know better about the overexposure in the securities markets by people who are too old or too retired or too whatever to be betting on this shit.  Jesus.

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

An American Anthem

Curt Schilling Is A Racist Teabagging Piece Of Shit

This is not news; Schilling has been a fucking nimrod his whole career.  The fact that he feels comfortable enough to act like such a racist shithead is fucking sad.  Dan Patrick gets it, atmo.  If ESPN is at all decent--they're not, but we can hope, right?--they will dump Schilling for being a shitty broadcaster first and all-around racist cocksucker second.

The Summer Of Trump Has Been A Yuge Boon For Planned Parenthood

This summer was supposed to be all about attacking Planned Parenthood with bullshit videos and insane Republican posturing, but the Summer of Trump has aborted those evil plans.  The fools thought they had everything lined up, with Republicans in Congress prescreened before the release of the videos, and Fox "News" ready to pounce, but Trump's funfetti fucked that up royally.  The videos have been buried under a steaming pile of Trump, and the political attacks have fallen way short.  Thanks, Trump.

Gun Control Now? Nah!

This is America, where we are all too stupid to understand that guns are only good for one thing, and that any society worth living in would protect itself from such pointless violence.  But we're not that good, and we will continue to listen to mountains of rancid horseshit from the NRA and teabaggers and other reactionary fuckstains until everyone is dead.  That'll be a good day, I guess.

What's Doubly Hilarious About Today's Shooting Is That It's Not Even A Proper Exceptionally American Mass Shooting

Only three dead including the shooter.  Jeez, that's nothing--though the live tee vee stunt was interesting in a vulgar, Trump-campaign-psycho way.  This is America, gods damn it!  We don't just kill three at a time.  We want more!  More guns!  More dead!  Individual murder is for pikers.  This is the land of guns and psycho killers!  That means numbers.  Three dead is not enough.  Every sick asshole in America with a gun demands more!

Michael Eric Dyson Is The Temp Ed Schultz

Dyson has adroitly slipped into that 5 pm slot without getting his name on it or anything, but he's there.  Schultz was tossed but they kept the reliever, and I wonder if Dyson will get his own show or somethin'?

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Jimmy Carter's Legacy In Reality

Carter's presidency was a turning point.  Mostly for the worst as it seems in retrospect that the late 70s were the last chance for too many things in America, labor, environment, imperial policy.  Carter failed and failed to stop the insanity ascendancy of the Republicans with Reagan as their figurehead.  As soon as those evil bastards began destroying the society, it was too late.  Carter had a chance but was not up to the task, or, more properly, American society was not up to the task, too exceptionally stupid to stand for something other than basest selfishness and hatred. 

Trump's Personal Mission To Destroy Jeb Bush Is Glorious

When--If?--when Trump goes down in a flaming, entertaining wreck, he's said that he's taking Jeb Bush with him.  How great for America?  Trump is a fucking superhero right now.  He's destroying the GOP, maybe forever, and he's shitting all over Fox "News", AND he's promised to ruin Jeb Bush once and for all.  That's genius.  Way better than Man of Steel.  If we wind up with a POTUS better than Hillary Clinton, that will all be because of Trump. 

Trump Is A Blathering Lunatic, But He Just Made Jorge Ramos His Bitch On Live Tee Vee

Not good.  Ramos got thrown out and then Trump let him back in, took his dick out, and slapped Ramos across the face with the scabby tool over and over and over.  Not a good thing; it just doesn't matter right now that Trump is Palinesque in his incoherence.  He's a fucking menace, but let's watch as he skullfucks the GOP. 

Trump V Megyn Kelly Is That Gift

Trump might wind up destroying not just the GOP but Fox "News" as well.  Trump is way bigger than any news bimbo right now.  Fox is pissing itself with fear.

Monday, August 24, 2015

Shaun King Knows It: Breitbart And The Daily Caller And The Rest Of Those Assholes Are Worthless Liars

And you should know it too.  Those fools at Breitbart and the Daily Caller were trying their best to smear Shaun King and Black Lives Matter, but they failed.  They fucked it up, lied about it, and failed as hilariously as anyone has ever failed at anything.  Happily, Breitbart the man is long dead, and let's all pray to jesus and the rest of the phony gods that the legacy and lies die too, along with Breitbart and the Daily Caller

Jeez, Even Those PolitiFact Clowns Understand Margaret Sanger

And PolitiFact can be downright retarded sometimes.  But they get this.  The racist attacks on Margaret Sanger and Planned Parenthood are political bullshit not grounded in history or sanity.  It would be fab to see a shitload of Dems get on this train, attacking the Repubs and standing up for healthcare and reality and Planned Parenthood.

Julian Bond At The George School

That would have been an interesting time to be at George.  I hope that the legacy is continuing, both at George and beyond.

Double Heh, Remember Chris Christie?

That greasy fat sack of shit?  Yeah, that asshole.  Well, it looks like the POTUS thing is not working out like he had hoped, and I gotta say that makes me chuckle.  Poor Christie got run over by the Trump shit tsunami and never had a chance.  Heh, indeedy.



Biden's Not Runnin' If Hillary's Init

Innitt.  Biden's probably enjoying the attention, but this is such a village idiot story.  The Dems and their money are all about Hillary Clinton.  If for some reason Clinton has to drop out...

Sunday, August 23, 2015

Absurd Racist Fuckbrains Of The Day, Today

Yuge Trump fans, too!  This nauseating racist shitstain has it all, including risible racist poetry!  It's all really funny but also very frighteningly ignorant and hateful.  Racist, anti-Semitic rantings from unreconstructed cocksuckers is as American as motherfucking pie, but we shouldn't have to eat this shit in 20 fucking 15.  Thanks, Obama.

Mazda's Current TV Spots Are Offensively Awful

Jesse Pinkman is the asshole delivering that atrocious voice-over?  I find those Mazda ads to be the most offensive thing on tee vee right now, and that includes Trump AND those Aleve ads for two pills all day--that shit is dumber than Trump's platform.  Mazda should be ashamed.  Tee vee truly sucks and sucks worse every second of every day.  Kill your television.

Jesus Frakking Christ, Cornel West And Everybody Else Should Fucking Know Better

Than to go on the tee vee with this violent, abusive pervert.  How fuckin hard is it to understand that giving anything to O'Reilly only encourages him to lie and be a generally rancid fuckstain.  Jesus, it's not fucking hard at all.  Assholes.

Even In The Foggy Twilight, The Sawks Rawk

I thought the stupid tee vee was busted, but it's some apocalyptic summer squall or some shit in Boston, but the Sox are delivering the entertainment at least.  Fuckin' Boston.

Saturday, August 22, 2015

Frank Pavone Is An Exceptional American Piece Of Shit

Frank Pavone is a greasy piece of shit.  He's one of those creepy catholic assholes you see protesting against women and science and freedom and shit; he's also apparently a big enough liar that even a fucker like Tim Dolan doesn't want to be associated with him.  That's fucking scary.

But Why Is That Specialized So Fucking Ugly??

Yeah, the no front derailleur is really fucking stupid, and the welding is cheesy and cheap-looking, on a frame that'll cost WAY north of a fucking grand, but why, even after all that why the fuck is the Speshy so unnecessarily fucking ugly.  The utterly awful seatstay attachment, dumb fake-aero seat tube and idiotic seatpost, insane lack of proper cable stops on a RACING frame, all of it, makes the thing look just wretched.  Add on the cheapest-possible-low-quality-welding, and you come up with a sure-fire loser sled.  If Speshy had come out with the production Skeletor, well, that woulda been about the coolest fucking thing this century.  They failed.  It's beyond shit.  Fuck them.

Friday, August 21, 2015

Thursday, August 20, 2015

Fuck Subway Jared, Josh Duggar Will Be President Trump's VEEP

That nasty motherfucker Josh Duggar is the Perfect Republican!  And President Trump needs that shit to Make America Great Again!  Hell, Duggar and Trump might be the same man, or maybe Trump is Josh Duggar's real father.  Whatever, they will get along great together and MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!!

Thank jesus and all the other made-up gods that this shit is being made real for our amusement.  This shit show is what a REAL fucking miracle looks like!

Nobody Can Be This Fucking Stupid

I think this whole forum is a joke, because these assholes are way too stupid to be real.  Even the Serotta forum is not as brain-dead as this fucking thing.  Gotta be a joke.  The M.I.T. or UChicago kids fucking with the world as a generation-spanning trolling as performance art.  Jesus I hope so.

Idiots And Twits Love Tim Tebow

Jesus.  But still, I guess Tebow is delivering entertainment to us because he's so fucking awful and because jeebus loves us so fucking much. 

Well, It's Better Than Peter Gabriel's Original Version

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Holy Shit, Subway Jared Might Just Replace Me As The Repubican Man Of The Year

That senile old fuckstain Ronald Reagan never did it, and pig-fucking shitbag Newt Gingrich couldn't do it, but I think that Subway Jared might win this year because it turns out he is simply the perfect 2015 Republican.  He used the money he got for being an unctuous tee vee clown to abuse children, and even the Koch brothers have never been so brazen.  (Hell, I'm the Republican Man of the Year, but I'm not a child rapist or Koch brother; I'm more of a classical miserable evil bastard.)  President Trump needs to take the initiative to pardon this sick bastard BEFORE the election so that Jared can be Trump's Veep.  That would be so exceptionally exceptional for America!

And don't worry, I can probably still win this year's Republican Man of the Year award, and continue my record-setting consecutive victories, by calling Jared a homo after he goes to prison.  Republicans love that shit.  And hate homos.  They love child rapists, but hate homos.  Hate 'em. 

Unfortunately For America And The World, All This Hillary Clinton Stuff Is An Addle-Headed Teabagger Fever Dream

Fox "News" and their piss-boys have lathered up the teabaggers and other pathetic dumb fucks, but the reality is that pretty much nobody with enough brain power to light a two-watt bulb even knows about this emailBenghazi horseshit unless they have a sick sense of humor and pay attention to dumb shit like cable news.  I'm all for AnybodyButHillary, but that's not really happening in the reality-based community.  Hillary Clinton has such a lock on the institutional and financial power of the Democratic party that probably nothing can stop her unless she decides she's had enough grief for a 10,000 lifetimes.  I'd be fine with that.  Biden isn't running unless Hillary has to drop out, ten seconds after which he inherits the infrastructure and the money from Hillary.  Otherwise, I think we're fucked with President Clinton again.  We kinda deserve it, too.  We're exceptional and shit. 

It's Gonna Take Someone Bigger Than A Crappy Northwestern Quarterback To Defeat The NCAA

Buh-bye.  The NCAA and NFL are not giving in to some dumb kids who want to be compensated for their minor-league gladiator games.  Billions of dollars each and every year, gross profiteering by the colleges and coaches, and fuckloads of free publicity are worth more than the health, welfare, or lives of the performers.  If the players don't like the long hours and constant performance, fuck 'em.  There's always another idiot who will volunteer, and none of those fools have the guts or brains to stand together for the benefit of the all the performers.  Too bad, but Americans are exceptionally stupid.

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

A-Rod Is Grand

A-Rod is almost as great an American as Margaret Sanger; both have suffered for our sins and been smeared by loathsome motherfuckers.  I pray to jesus for a World Series MVP for Rodriguez.  Or Sanger.  Either way.

Repulsive, Bugfuck-Nutty, Ignorant, Conservative Shitstains Of The Day, Today

These assholes.  They use ignorance, insanity, lies, and snarling stupidity to gin up some hatred of an actual great American--and the destruction of reproductive healthcare in America for everyone except their wives and daughters--in the service of Koch-suckers and Uncle Toms and other repellent teabagging fuckbrains.  That's what is truly exceptional about America!

Oh Jesus Gods Just Fucking Don't

No.  Don't ask those fucking pampered nimrods and twits a serious question about anything.  Insurance, like sanity, ain't their strong point.

Useful iCarly iFiorina Fisking

Stupid, incompetent, failure. Preach it!  If you don't watch iCarly iFiorina for more than two seconds and see that she is completely, hopelessly stupid and worthless, well, you are exactly the sort of dipshit cocksucker destroying America because you are so fucking dumb.  Thanks Obama.

Trump V Luntz: Donald Trump Might Be The Greatest American In History

Fucking hero? Sure looks like it.  That crazy fucker Trump is hell bent on obliterating the Republican party in 2016 and beyond.  He made that bimbo Megyn Kelly look like a fool.  And now he's pissing on Frank Luntz.  That man Trump is way cooler than jesus.

Monday, August 17, 2015

Movie Nite

Better than Fantastic Four.  Would probably make a good classic double feature with Outfoxed.

Brian McCann Is A Real

Ballplayer.  Everybody likes a 3-run homer in the 1st, though.

Health Care Is Still Killing America

Obamacare didn't change anything; we are fucked.  Costs are going up for health care consumers, and spending overall for health care in the USA is still out of control with nothing resembling universal coverage.  At best, the ACA was a band-aid to increase access slightly, and it did that.  Fine, just fine.  But that was not enough.  The supporters and fluffers and other asswhipes will say that it was the first step to a real universal system, but I don't see that happening in any of the years since the ACA first passed.  In fact, political support for universal healthcare of any kind is non-existent outside of the Bernie Sanders presidential campaign.  The Democratic party is as useless as ever.  Tax credits or not, $600 a month with a $6000 deductible is not affordable, and I personally saw that option for someone when they tried to get in on the health care exchange.  No go and they still don't have coverage. 

Is High Point University The Biggest Joke In American Education?

Bigger than Harvard?  Bigger than the BASIS Scottsdale charter school?  Sure looks that way.  High Point's leader is a two-bit scumbag, motivational speaker, all around douche, and the school is spending money it doesn't have on everything except academics and financial aid.  Leading High Point sounds like a perfect job for President Trump after two terms.

Sunday, August 16, 2015

Nihilist Arby's Was Not A Secret

Brendan Kelly wasn't an amateur, but it was pretty funny--and still will be if he keeps it up.  Now if we can only get the Birbsrightsactivist to come clean, they can run in 2016.

Abortion Twilight Zone, 1979

Jesus, that shouldn't be that long ago, but the story reads like some weird scifi script for a cheap tee vee show.  The real problem is we're living in the cheezy dystopian nightmare.

Dream For America: Trump Buys Fox "News" And Relocates It To Mexico

Just to fuck with Ailes.  If Trump can last till 8 September with the ability to dominate the Republican campaign agenda, then Fox "News" could be in deep shit unless they are completely beholden to the power of Trump.  That's looking probable, and that means America is truly blessed by many, many gods who love us and high-calorie entertainment.

Saturday, August 15, 2015

Yes, But Who Besides Chris Matthews Thinks Bernie Sanders Is Some Sort Of Actual Leftist?

I'm not sure Bernie is really pretending much of anything.  Sanders has been an election-winning politician for more than two generations.  Chris Matthews might think Bernie is a raving commie, and the teabagging fuckwads and Fox "News" Koch-suckers might actually believe Sanders is something other than a mundane centrist politician, but that's obvious bullshit.  Sanders in no leftist, so if he's the "Anybody Besides Hillary" candidate, that's fine with me.  Why wouldn't it be? 

What The Fuck Was Going On With The Red Sox?

22 runs from the Sox and 10 more from Seattle.  That's fruckin' nuts.  Too bad for the Sawks they're in last fucking place. 

Nice Game From Tanaka Against Toronto

Everyone keeps waiting for Masahiro Tanaka's arm to just fall off on the mound, but he keeps getting out there, managing to keep both arms attached.  Today was a decent showing, especially against the Jays. 

Embassy In Havana, Flags, And Shit

Kind of a big fucking deal, as future President Biden would say, and not just because it drives loathsome, traitorous, reactionary Cuban lunatics in Florida fucking apoplectic.  The only reasons Cuba and the Cubans had to suffer for 60 years of unhinged American repression is because Cuba was always way too harmless to ever threaten the United States.  Too small to be an economic resource, too defiant to be a drooling piss boy, Cuba was fated to be the never ending bully's punching bag until Obummer came along and burned down the lemonade stand.  Good for him, good for Cuba.  Sorta a big fucking deal.  Cool cars in the background too.  That was not random.

Arkansas Is Not A Place For Humans

Really kinda sad, but fucking idiots are all over Arkansas and America.  This Planned Parenthood stunt is red meat to the absolutely most ignorant of teabaggers and Koch-sucker wannabes.  For the rest of us it is just fucking annoying.  Unless you are a woman, and then it could be life and death.  But seriously, who gives a shit about women who aren't really fucking rich, right?

Is Donald Trump's Helicopter Really Airwolf?

That would be cool!  And then we'd know for realz that Trump was really a super-secret secret agent spy guy! 

Friday, August 14, 2015

Megyn 'Trump's Bimbo' Kelly's Surprise Vacation

Unplanned 10-day suspensions vacations are just how you punish someone who fucked up badly after doing exactly what you told them to do what you do to your top star your top star does right at the height of their visibility, right?  Well, maybe not?  Suspended!  So how fucked is Kelly?  Will she come back and lovingly sooth Trumps scabrous ball sack with her tongue on live tee vee?  Is she done for good?  I think there's a decent chance she never comes back but a much greater chance that she eats a huge shit hero sandwich, and Fox "News" carries on like nothing happened the same way they did with O'Reilly and Mackris, and O'Reilly and the asshole falafel, and O'Reilly and the spousal abuse, and O'Reilly and the lying about Argentina, and O'Reilly and the lying about Kennedy, and O'Reilly and the custody battle, and O'Reilly and pretty much everything.  It's the Fox way.

Iranian Oil And Iranian Money

We get the oil and Iran gets the money.  Sounds pretty straightforward, but what the fuck is that Iranian oil gonna do to the market?  Push prices down?  Yay cheap gas.  And what's Iran gonna do will all that money?  Shiny new nuclear powered submarines?  IPhones?  One person, one vote in Palestine?  Yay all around.

Even A Forbes Writer Understands Carly Fiorina Is A Fucking Idiot

That's rough.  Fiorina is desperately trying to have it both ways on vaccinations, but as usual, she winds up sounding like a fucking moron.  Reality doesn't enter into iCarly's world view, nor does it matter to her campaign since she is completely a creation of Fox "News" and the rest of the rock-ribbed conservative establishment media.

Thursday, August 13, 2015

American Loons: Vital Information For 2015, 2016

Vital.  Necessary.  Newz youz can uze for your 2015/2016 election season and beyond.  America's full of loons, and somebody's gotta document the shit show.

6000 Years Of Being Hilariously Fucking Stupid

Dinosaurs lived with humans! It's in the fucking bible!!  For realz!!!  Sure, it's fun to make fun of these assholes, but they are fucking evil in reality.  Being that fucking dumb is real evil.  Plus, they have a risible, racist blond whiteguy jesus on their site.

Your Taxes At Work Overtime

Flyin' aliens and shit back and forth from the Stargate or some shit at Area 51.  Or just running low-level worker bees from our glorious war profiteering industry back and forth to testing and research facilities for ten or twenty times what it should cost.  I'd vote for aliens, but that's not happening, probably. 

Or is it?


Or yes?


Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Ivy League Bull Shit

Bull shit. Bullshit.  Bullshit.  If he couldn't afford to go to any of those schools, all the Ivies plus Stanford, Johns Hopkins, Washington University, why the fuck would he waste the major fucking money to apply?  I'm calling bullshit.  Then the crap story about turning them all down for a shithole like Alabama?  Bullshit!  There is more to this story than is being reported, especially given how places like Harvard, Princeton, and Stanford run their financial aid programs.  Bull and shit.  Also: 2260 SAT?  2260?  That score sucks.  I'm surprised that the could be admitted to these schools with that score.  I wonder why he was?  What was his hook?  He musta had an in somehow, because my 10 year old is taking the test this fall (at 11) and is estimated to score between 2100 and 2200!  (She may score over 2200 because the perfect score on the Critical Reading is certainly possible and reasonable on test day.)  If her score as a senior in high school is as low as this Ronald Nelson's score, both of us will be grievously disappointed.  When your smarter 6th and 7th graders are getting only a hundred points lower on the SAT than a student "admitted to all the Ivies", you gotta wonder what bullshit you are being fed.

Maybe his less-than-stellar stats are why this guy was admitted to these schools with his connections or hook but was denied the proper amount of financial aid...

Bullshit or not...

Hello Durango! This Animas River Thing Is A Frakking Mess

Fuuccckkkk.  It looks bad, with a neon mustard ribbon where the river used to be, but it is bad, too.  Real bad.  This particular mine, the Gold King, was offline for almost a century, but a clean-up boo boo in 2015 did all this damage.  It's gonna be a blast tracking all the places where the contamination will go.  Oh, the places you'll go...

Rude Pundit Fisks Fox Bimbo Megyn Kelly With A Quickie

Wham bam. That didn't take long...

Lee Papa decides to throw a bone at Megyn Kelly and fisk her like he likes her behind a dingy, desolate, run-down gas station in the middle of a featureless Wyoming night on a road trip to someplace interesting.  Kelly probably did earn her current gig by helping Ailes and Murdoch get off on Sandra Fluke's imagined hot, slutty law student sex life with all the dirty, dirty birth control. 

Birth control babes are hot!

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Bill O'Reilly's Divorce Is The Second Greatest Show In America Right Now

O'Reilly as crazed and violent lunatic is not as fun as the Trump campaign this summer, but it is pretty fucking sweet in its own right.  Bill O'Reilly is such a fucking scumbag that maybe he should be the VP candidate for Trump if Subway Jared is not available due to prison. 

Deranged Fuckstains Of Today

Addle-headed assholes and ignorant, superstitious cocksuckers are what's for dinner tonight.  These are proud, and very stupid, Americans ruining your society with their primitive fears and corrosive ignorance.  Fuck Yeah!

Anna Sheridan Escapes The Shadows And Is A Democrat

Cool. She escaped that box lighter guy, too.  If she can win the fucking seat, then good for her.

Trump Crushes Fox "News" And Bimbo Megyn Kelly

Hot diggity motherfucking dawg, this is gettin' fun fun fun.  The news of the day is that Fox "News" unconditionally surrendered to Trump after Trump savaged their bimbo and took his game show to other tee vee networks.  I'm really gratified to be alive to witness this.  Every day, every single day that Trump grows more powerful, he destroys the infrastructure of the Republican party; by the time Trump is finished, there won't be a functional and functioning Republican party left for the 2016 election.

Trump's The Man In Iowa

To humans, Donald Trump is seen as a repulsive vulgarian; to Republicans, Trump is a political juggernaut.  That's your American democracy at its best. 

Peak NY Jets Entertainment Value May Have Already Been Reached For 2015/2016

There you go.  This is way more fun than you're gonna get from the Jets on the field this season, so eat up, motherfrakkers.

Monday, August 10, 2015

Pure Pop Bliss

Has Any Film Director In History Managed A Steeper Downhill Slide Than Thomas McCarthy?

The Station Agent?  A hit!  The next one?  Sure, okay.  An ill-advised slab of shit with Paul Giamatti?  Oh, fuck, no, don't!  An Adam Sandler blockbuster earning $24,000 at the box office?  Holy shit!  Twenty-four thousand?  You begin with the excellent Station Agent and end up with the worst Adam Sandler movie ever??  How the fuck does that happen?  Jesus christ.  McCarthy should probably rethink his commitment to existence and consider becoming filmmaker in residence on a lesser Jovian moon.

Once We Had Mr. Cranky

It was a thing, back then when you were young.  It was like a thing that came before, sure, but Mr. Cranky was goofy and fun.  Now we have this, which is a lot like the stuff that came before, except not as fresh and not as fun and not as smart.  Why?  Is it because we are all dying, getting slower and weaker and dimmer every day?  Is it because the universe is grinding itself into cold and dark and death?  Sure.

Sunday, August 9, 2015

Your Republican Party, Also 2

Your Republican Party

Refreshingly Nasty Caitlyn Jenner Fisking

Very good.  Jenner's a nasty and brainless fucking piece of shit because she's a typical rock-ribbed Republican!  All the horseshit being heaped on her by the dimwitted establishment media has been ludicrous, and it's nice to have a brutal fisking to cleanse the palate.


Trump's their monster, and he's flattening the GOP city on the hill.  Fuckin' let 'im.  Rock on, Trump, you repulsive vulgarian!  This shit show is exactly what the Republican party deserves.  I hope to christ he leads the polls right up until election day.  That's not gonna happen but pretty much every day Trump defines the 2016 Republican campaign dissolves the GOP's electoral infrastructure and assures a Dem will be the POTUS in 2017.

Saturday, August 8, 2015

Fog Rollzin

David Ortiz Is An Embarrassment To Humanity

But not nearly as big an embarrassment as the pitcher who lets that sack of shit Ortiz get a hit off him. 

The Way The Yankees Have Played Against Toronto, They Are Fox "News" And The Republican Party

And the Jays are Trump.  Fucking carnage.

Thanks To Donald Trump And Fox "News" Bimbo Megyn Kelly, For The First Time, Everyone Can See The Possibility Of President Bernie Sanders

Fuck YEAH!!  Trump is really gonna blow it all up!  Kelly IS a bimbo, and syphilitic cockmonger Eric "Erick" Erickson has just given Trump more ammo to shred the Republican party right as the campaign gets rolling.  The Trump lovers are not happy that Erickson has stood with Republican and media establishment against their hero; these assholes are the energized Republican base/primary voters--good job "Erick"!  Even if the supposed lock Hillary Clinton is not the nominee, Trump could (and should) make sure that no Republican has any functional party infrastructure.  Trump's a vulgar shithead, and Roger Stone is surely one of the few people walking free who is a bigger fuckstain than Trump himself, so losing Stone is no loss for whatever anyone thinks is a Donald Trump presidential campaign.  Trump's not running for anything, but he's doing the gods' work in destroying Republican hope in 2016--and beyond.  Bernie Sanders has got be sporting a ginormous Boehner right now.  As a matter of fact, since all politics for Trump is personal--and insane--I would look for a Trump endorsement of Sanders at some point if Sanders gets the nomination, with Trump telling his teabagging acolytes that Sanders is a better choice than some big government Republican who also just happened to have dissed Trump bigtime.  This is fucking glorious.  America, FUCK YEAH!

Fisking Chris Matthews And His Dipshit Cabal Is Too Easy

Sure, Matthews is as big a fucking rancid turd as Megyn Kelly, or O'Reilly, or Hannity, but you'd never be able to convince the fuckwads who listen to him of that.  MSNBC has always been shit, but they are proving this cycle that they can get dumber than dumb. 

Friday, August 7, 2015

Trump Is Right About Megyn Kelly

Kelly is a fatuous tee vee bimbo.  Trump doesn't have two decent brain cells in his head, but he can spot a two-bit Murdoch whore when he sees one.  It's great for America that Trump is shameless.  Entertaining, too.  Kelly carried Murdoch's piss bucket last night, and some of the batshit teabaggers are not at all happy about it.

Trump Or Krauthammer? Trump Wins Every Time

Trump versus Krauthammer is a titanic battle of wits between two demented mental midgets, but Trump can and will eat KK Krauthammer for a snack every fucking time.  It seems impossible, but Krauthammer is a legitimately bigger fuckknob than Trump.  Watching KK Krauthammer get all pissy and impotent on the tee vee is oodles of fun, though...

Trump's Secret: The Republican Field Is So Weak, He Can Troll Them For Fun

The Republican party is desperately trying to convince mostly themselves that they have a strong field for next year's election.  The party can't believe they'll be stuck with another Romney or McCain, but it's way worse than that.  McCain or Romney would be an upgrade, a guaranteed loser, sure, but an upgrade from any of the 2016 field.  Another Bush?  Yeah, great.  Scott Walker?  Rick Perry?  Cruz?  Rubio?  These assholes are losers even compared to Santorum and Herman Cain.  The Republicans are doomed and they know it.  But Trump knew it first.  He saw the opportunity for egomaniac masturbatory bliss and jumped into the roiling Republican cesspool with his dick in one hand and an extra-large Bill O'Reilly brand asshole falafel in the other.

Trump saw it and decided it was worth it for him to whack-off his addle-headed narcissism.  Now the Republicans own him and owe him.  He's their man.  He beat the shit out of the Republican brand last night at the debate, and the Democrats cannot be happier about that.

iCarly's "win" in the Special Olympics afternoon delight is part of the bullshit narrative the dimwitted establishment media had already thrown together before the debate happened.  iFiorina is quite possibly one of the only "politicians" in the USA less appealing than Hillary Clinton.  HRC has gotta have quite the lady Boehner today.

Thursday, August 6, 2015

Hiroshima Moan Armor

70 fucking years.  That's working out well for us.  On one hand, it's hard to believe that anyone, even the USA, did something so monstrously evil, but on the other hand, the Allies had been firebombing much of the Europe and Asia with impunity, so...

Nobody's been stupid enough to drop the big one since America did, twice, but the construction, testing, and spending on nuclear weapons and their delivery systems for 70+ years have pretty much destroyed the developed (and developing) world.  The modern age has been very lucrative for certain folks, but that money and that time and that effort could have transformed the entire planet into something decent, but instead was wasted on terror and pollution and profiteering.  Working real well for us.

The Special People's Afternoon Debate On Fox "News" Is Like Watching Crumbly Alpaca Turds Baking In The Sun

This could not be any worse.  The biggest loser is iCarly.  Is it really possible that she's a bigger failure in America's crony capitalism than Mitt  Romney?  George W. Bush?  Trump?  I think so!  Maybe not as big a failure as Trump, Bush, or Romney, but iCarly iFiorina destroyed a company, stole millions, and was exposed as hilariously incompetent.  She bombed as a Senate candidate, too.  That's pretty fucking funny.

Iran Is Full Of 80 Million Iranians

The teabaggers and Koch-suckers and Israeli lunatics want to go war with those 80 million people?  They're fucking nuts.  Iran is a huge country.  It is a wealthy country.  It is ready to join the 21st century.  There are not 80 million backward ass fundamentalist cockbags in Iran.  Nuclear weapons are not the point of the Iran deal.  The vain hope for a more peaceful region and an honest shot at 80 million Iranians engaging with the USA and our allies and the rest of the fucking world as (near) equals--as equal as we're likely to let 'em, but whatevs--is the real fucking point.  Jesus.

The Shame Of The Yankees, Last Night

Losing to the Sox after letting that piece of shit Ortiz, who can't hit anything resembling any major league pitch, hit a homer.  That's disgusting.

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Ina Cave, Man

Chris Hedges, A Very White White Guy, Causing Trouble

White dudes causing trouble for other white dudes is about as American as you can get.  Hedges is fine, just fine, but when the other shoe falls, finally, and African-American political power demands AND gets their share--or at least A share--of the banana stand, well, that's gonna be a mighty interesting time to be a part of the establishment power structure.  The new black radicals won't create a new paradigm, but instead will be good Americans and simply follow the easy path and take some of the existing power structure for their own and the establishment is not going to enjoy it all that much.  That's what makes it fun!

Texas Is An Atrocity, Part One Zillion

Even the fucking federal appellate court thinks so.  Jesus.  Those courts are often fucking atrocities in their own right, but even those assholes can't support Texas.  I guess it's becoming clear that even rock-ribbed dipshits realize that voter-suppression laws are popular because they do just that: keep the poorer, darker, younger potential voters from exercising their constitutional rights. 

British Twits Are Stupid Because Duh Limey Cocksuckers

Add into it all the inbreeding after the Krauts killed the better Limeys 70-80 years ago, and you get a fucking cesspool of ignorance and impotent inanity.  Nothing sucks worse than a Limey cocksucker.

More Fucking Comedy Gold From The Internets

This shit is genius.  It might be a tiny bit too over the top, without the nuance of Jesus' General, but you have to appreciate the crazed lunacy and comedy that went into such a vicious parody of jesus freaks and bugfuck insane teabaggers in general.

The Yankees Kicked The Red Sox Around Last Night

More to come!  This would be a glorious summer to live in Boston and wallow in the ambiance of frustrated, bitchy Sox fans and shameless Brady fluffers. 

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Pro Tip: Don't Sign Your Dumb Book For George W. Bush

Jesus fucking christ, George W. "Retardboy" Bush is not some cranky, racist, cokehead, drunken, creepster uncle at a summer family picnic.  It's George W. Bush, war criminal, evil monster, the worst president in US history, despicable piece of human filth, and if there's any justice in this craphole universe the next occupant of a noose or target for a firing squad--along with Cheney, Wolfowitz, Rice, and the rest--at the Hague, so for the love of all the gods, tell that vile bastard nope.  No, not gonna do it.  Nobody ever needed to sell a book that badly.  Poor brain-damaged Bush and his loathsome cabal stole at least one presidential election, failed the country in the most embarrassing and deadly way possible, and then began slaughtering helpless, innocent people in the Middle East and Asia for no good reason except to steal mountainous piles of money for their cronies.  Don't sign the fucking book!  Take a pass.  This is not a political disagreement.  This is fraternizing with as close to an embodiment of evil as we will ever see on Earth, unless of course you believe Bush was a hopelessly brainless stooge being exploited by Cheney et al for the enrichment of a few hundred people at the expense of suffering and torture for millions around the world in which case Bush is merely a vile rank-and-file Republican motherfucker in his heart.  Nobody gives a flying fuck if George W. Bush is a fake mountain biker, a fake cowboy, or a fake POTUS.  Don't encourage him!  Everybody's very happy you wrote a book, but don't be a dick about it.  Put the pen away.  Have another beer.  Remember, don't sign your book for him, unless you happen to be the sorry sucker who wrote The Pet Goat.  Duh.

Ted Rall Gets Rolled By The Fucking LAPD

Rall has been brash, mouthy, annoying, and the cops in Los Angeles found a way to get rid of him.  That's a pretty neat police-state trick, but because he's white, they didn't feel the need to shoot him in the head or beat him to death with a truncheon in a dank cell in the classical style.  They just had him fired based on the flimsiest of lies.  Progress!  I guess the fine folks who live there now know where the LA Times stands as scum-sucking weaselly piss boys.  No excuses left for trusting those gutless assholes.  I doubt Rall's lawsuit will go anywhere, but it would be fun to watch if it did.

Existential Terror For Every Single Fucking Republican: The Only Positive For A Hillary Clinton Presidency

Were Hillary to become President--I hope not--the only benefit for America, and the only entertainment to be had, would be the screaming existential terror she would beget in the black, worthless soul of every fucking Republican in the country.  They hate her because they're ignorant, small-minded bigots and rock-ribbed, reactionary fucksticks.  They hate her because she's named Clinton.  They hate because she's a woman.  They hate because hate is all they can fit into their decaying pea-brains.  They hate her.  And they would not be able to handle her as POTUS.  That would be beauty in a way we probably wouldn't deserve anyway. 

'Guardians Of The Galaxy' As An Excellent 'Farscape' Episode

Sure.  Why not?  Guardians was goofy and pretty fun; Farscape was Muppetty space-opera Australian tee vee genius.  But the flick worked for many of the same reasons the tee vee show worked, so that's pretty much settled, then.

Monday, August 3, 2015

Bernie Sanders Gets The Ed Schultz Thing, Atmo

Ed Schultz, Big Ed, whatever, was not the best possible tee vee guy out there, but was good on some things and abhorrent on others, so to see Bernie Sanders, legitimate presidential candidate, get a bit pissy and scare up some votes after Schultz got canned is pretty fucking gratifying in our craptastic political season.  Sanders is doing this thing way better than most anyone would have given him credit for, so I wonder if there's a bit of hope for some fun fun fun funfetti during this Democratic campaign.

Easy-As-Pie Lindsey Graham Fisking

Lindsey Graham, liar, hypocrite, closet-case.  It's all the same to him.  What it means is that Graham is probably more full of shit than Trump.

Hilarious Bullshit Buzz Bissinger On 'Fresh Air'

I was in the car today for a while with NPR and Buzz Bissinger.  His schtick was weird and dumb and totally insincere.  Bissinger talked about his stupid book and his stupid life and all kinds of TMI horse shit like body hair and leather gloves, and I didn't believe a word of it.  For all I know, Bissinger may have been telling the truth, but it all sounded like very weak performance art.  He may have a son with special needs, he may have been an S&M dilettante, he may have blasted off his ball hair with a laser, but if I found out none of it was true in any sense and created out of whole cloth by a dipshit, I would believe that without question.  Bissinger sounded so bored and shallow and trite that he twisted all the credulity from his performance.  I don't know--and who fucking cares--but I think it's time for America to realize that Buss Bizzenger is just a hackneyed comedy character created by some bored housewife in Bayonne, and that there's not really even an Odessa, Texas at all.

Sunday, August 2, 2015

Trump's Running Mate: He Went To Jared

Trump's only choice: Subway Jared!  Nothing says America more than a couple of scumsuckers like Trump and Jared for President!  Fuck Yeah!

Famous Friends Of Newt Gingrich "Jungle" Jack Hanna And His Hat Want The Lion Killer To Face Justice

Fine, just fine.  Justice for the killer.  I would advocate for something in Zimbabwe involving a big fat elephant taking a tap dancing class right where the lion killer is nailed to the ground with railroad spikes.  Something like that.

This STEM Shortage Bullshit Is Not News

The industries and their executives and consultants have been lying about this shit for more than a generation.  And yes, of course it is all about lowering wages, and it always has been.  Nobody wants to pay for the good or better American workers when serviceable ferriners will work for a pittance.  It's the American way.  This has been your "Duh! No shit!" announcement of the day.

Hopelessly Stupid And Useless Reactionary Greasy Fuckknobs Of The Day

Dumb n ugly meets hopelessy insane meets frustrated misogyny meets violent haters.  You CAN have it all.  Shitheaded teabaggers are choking the sense out of America once and for all.

Jesus Frakking Christ, Why Do The New Lexus Cars Look Like Classic Cylon Centurions?

They look like shit in the commercials, and they look like shit on the road; they all look like classic Cylons from the front, too.  Who decides this shit?  Lexus gets top freeking dollar for their hopped up Toyotas.  Stop makin' 'em look cheap and plasticy.  Jesus.

Saturday, August 1, 2015

Rowdy Roddy Piper, But We Will Always Have 'They Live'

Piper died in his sleep--nicely done--but his legacy in the wickedly awesome and wicked cheesy They Live will sustain us forever and ever.  They Live is one of the great documentaries of modern American life, and Piper kicked some major ass in that flick for freedom fighting against freedumb. 

Trump's Fun, But He's Destroying Republicans, Too

Ted Cruz.  Marco Rubio.  Rand Paul.  Those loathsome specimens are US fucking Senators, and they've been dissolved by Trump's campaign.  Dumb bunny Ben Carson has also been undone, with all the unhinged wingnut assholes flocking to Trump's repellant shit show.  That's pretty amazing and amazingly fun; Carson was a non-starter no matter what, but Trump is killing off sitting senators like they were made of paper.  Heh, indeedy.

No More FDL Now For Real

A bit too apostate for the fluffers and aspirational pissboys (and girls), with some of the core moving on to a new site, FireDogLake goes bye-bye.  The establishment lowlifes and wannabees didn't have any use, but some folks might be agile enough to comprehend that the heretics are often right and acknowledge the water carriers are on point at times as well.  Ah, well, it's the nature of our universe, gravity, inertia, sedimentation are never going to give up.  Maybe the new thing will be decent.