Saturday, August 31, 2013

Tebow, T-Bow, T-Blow, Good Bye

Besides being dumb as a post, a creepy Jesus-freak asshole, and a shitty quarterback, Tebow was and continues to be an arrogant buffoon.  Had he really been serious about using his athletic ability to fashion a successful career in the NFL, he would have listened to the people who told him that he sucked as a potential pro at quarterback and focused on learning a position where he would have been able to contribute.  Oh, well, he listened to Jesus, and Jesus is a fucking dipshit. 

Dean Baker: Mr. Happy, Labor Day Edition

But he's got no reason to happy.  Obama's economic team has been a disaster; it was preordained to be a disaster from the way Obama ran his campaign.  Obama made no effort to hide his fealty to the most vile of the establishment scum, like Rahm Emanuel and Larry Summers and Tim Geithner, and the utter failure of Obama's team should come as no surprise.  What is worse than failure, however, is the tragic lack of awareness from these buffoons; they don't even understand how massively they've failed.  Happy Labor Day, assholes.

Friday, August 30, 2013

Seamus Heaney 1939-2013

Seamus Heaney, a first-class Mick, is dead at 74.  Besides being pretty old for a drunken Irish bastard, Heaney may have been the last world famous poet before art and literature were destroyed by viciously stupid pop culture and the internets.  Now we'll get crap artists and completely clueless self-promoters, but no more world famous poets.  Such is the bread of our everyday life in the 21st century.  See you in hell, Heaney.

Thursday, August 29, 2013

Fast Food Strike Day

This might just turn out to be a big deal.  Upward pressure on wages is something that is vital to legitimate economic growth, and if the fast food workers get a big raise, everyone else will, too.  So, where's the political support for this stuff, for $15 an hour for McDonald's workers?  Where are the elected people, the candidates, the major party apparatchiks?  Oh, yeah.  Right.  We're fucked.

When The Limeys Get It Right

What does that say about us?  The fucking Limeys have a barely-functioning society and democracy, but compared to our sad-sack country, they look fucking brilliant.

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Dream + 50: Time For Jobs And Equality

Fifty years have seen some improvements, but with the economy crumbling and the most insane segment of our political establishment rushing to roll back democracy, the dreams of 1963 are not going to be enough anymore.  Instead of falling behind, the renewal and expansion of the dream is about the only hope we have.

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Trump University: Almost As Embarrassing As Harvard

Retardboy Bush went to Harvard. And Yale.  Ted Cruz went to Princeton.  The Shah's son and Erin Burnett went to Williams.  Michelle Maglalang Malkin and Lena Dunham went to Oberlin.  So, it is pretty obvious that many schools should be mortified by their associations, and in comparison the bugfuck crazy racist grifter Donald Trump bullshit university is almost as embarrassing an institution with which to be associated as places like Yale and Princeton.

Zathras Laughs At Serotta

The new Serotta regime is so fucking worthless; when you are attempting to sell overpriced toys based on a mostly bullshit heritage and shit, refusing to honor "lifetime" warranties is the grossest incompetence; even Zathras is shocked.  Some inane statement from the new boys at Serotta promising to honor all lifetime warranties to the best of their abilities would have been the only intelligent move IF the new owners are really going to try and sell "Serotta" bikes.  This soap opera is beyond funny now and all the way to bathetic.

Tom Hayden On Egypt And Democracy

Over yonder at Counterpunch.  I have a huge problem with Political Islam in Egypt, the same way I have a huge problem with Political Christianity in the United States and in Russia and everywhere else and Politcal Judaism in Israel.  Unfortunately, it is going to be a long time until the US cuts out the cancer of fundamentalist Christian politicians and even longer until the "left" in America is able to honestly protest the evil of fundamentalist Islam and fundamentalist Judaism in the Middle East along with fundamentalist religious political movements of any and all stripes anywhere in the world.  Hayden's point about the establishment and support for democracy over military rule is the right one, though.  Egypt, Israel, and the rest of those people need a foundation of democracy to be able to survive the evils of a Morsi or a Netanyahu or a Bush or a Reagan.

Al Sharpton's Finest Hours: Fox "News" Is Scared Shitless Of Sharpton

OMFG, that dimwit bitch Andrea Tantaros just said irregardless!  What a fucking maroon.

Anyway, Fox "News" is spending half their broadcast hours since the Trayvon Martin case ended attacking Al Sharpton.  Sharpton must have the most raging fucking boner.  The voter suppression backlash, the racism in the justice system, and the Obama presidency have the right wing establishment so fucking freaked out that Fox is attempting to make Sharpton a symbol for black and for the civil rights movement.  This is the greatest honor for which Sharpton or any other good and decent American could ever hope!

Monday, August 26, 2013

If You Work For TEPCO, You Probably Wish You Worked For Petco

A depressing chain pet store would seem like fucking paradise compared to the rampaging, deadly clusterfuck that is Fukushima.  Before it gets better it is going to be so much worse, and the damage will be felt way beyond Japan.  The only benefit may be the final nail in the commercial nuke coffin, and Fukushima will be the symbol of the death of nuclear power.  That would be somethin', but it shouldn't have taken such a terrible tragedy to open enough eyes.

When Your Streets Run With Blood, Remember This Nonsense

Yes, it will be more than a little satisfying to see the blood and hear the cries, but after the glee, we will be left with the suffering and privation far longer than we would hope.  Many will have their lives taken, not just the ones who deservedly lose their heads or their guts, but even so, few will argue it wasn't worth it.

Pro Tip: Rahm Emanuel Is Obama's Buddy

Rahm's Obama's guy. He picked him for Chief of Staff and pretty much made him mayor of Chicago.  So, when Emanuel fucks with working people to enrich the already obscenely rich, well, you gotta figure Obama's cool with that sort of shit, too.

Chelsea Manning Is In For A Hard(er) Time

This would be a great time for the military to step up and see that Manning gets every possible accommodation during her incarceration and is absolutely protected from additional abuse.  This is also the time for Obama to step and commute the sentence to loss of pay and time served.  Why am I not hopeful?  Cuz duh.  Regardless of the politics of transphobia, Manning has already been grossly abused by the military and government; I am sure her trans identity will only give the system an excuse to continue the abuse.

Sunday, August 25, 2013

The ESPN Sunday Baseball Broadcast Is Awful

There are only about a billion sports announcers/fans out there, all of whom could do a way better job than the assholes ESPN serves up.  Jeesus.

Morons Trolling Chomsky Fail

This fucking dope really thinks he's gonna take Noam Chomsky down?  Now that's funny.  Chomsky hasn't said anything relevant in 30 years?  I know that dumb cocksucker isn't up to much math, but 30 years ago it was 1983.  Since 1983, Chomsky's bibliography has at least 35 entries.  Not one single fucking word in any of that was relevant?  Soonergrunt's a fucking retard.

Saturday, August 24, 2013

Friday, August 23, 2013

Thursday, August 22, 2013

One Thing You Can Say About Mad Fiber Wheels

They are butt-fucking ugly.  Cheapo Chinese versions of these horrible wheels on a cheapo but way-overpriced Chinese Serotta would be an absolute mess.  Expect it for holiday shopping in 2013.

Will Chelsea Get Out Sooner Or Later Than Bradley?

Chelsea Manning will probably have an even harder time in the stockade than Bradley Manning did.  That sucks for a ginormous host of reasons, but seeing as the only goal of prison is to live long enough and stay sane enough to get out of prison, will the military kick Chelsea sooner because of the hassle or will they use his her status as transgendered to loose more abuse on her? 

Alfonso Friggin Soriano

Pretty fucking funny.  The Yankees were sliding towards AA-level ball, but suddenly with Soriano and A-Rod stirring shit, they are playing like top-flite tee vee entertainment again.  No shit.

The World's Dumbest Soap Opera Drones On

And on, and on.  Watch for some shitty Chinese plastic crap to be sportin' the Serotta name faster than you would think.

Manning And Calley And Military Justice

Dave Lindorff fillets the Manning verdict and finds William Laws Calley on the inside.  As if we needed more evidence, murders are not the biggest crimes in America; far worse is failing to be the sort of American who reveres our glorious empire.  Manning was far more courageous than most and certainly had an impact on the United States.

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

New Superchunk Record

Which sounds exactly like every other Superchunk record.  So, that's something.  Superchunk somehow growing into an American Institution has gotta be one of the more unlikely stories we've seen in a while round here.

Frakking Fukushima

Assuming you don't live in, say, a 1000 km radius of the Fukushima site, consider yourself somewhat fortunate.  Even thought the coverage in the United States is criminally lacking, the situation on the ground is awful and deteriorating.  Nearby Fukushima is not a place to be. 

Somebody Out There's A Big Ed Schultz Fan

Schultz's schtick certainly has its admirers.  I for one thought that MSNBC was being a wee bit too transparent by dumping Schultz in favor of dedicated climber and inoffensive wonk nerd Chris Hayes.  I wasn't a dedicated Schultz watcher, but I did appreciate that he was a shit ton more forthright and political with regards to class than either Hayes or Rachel Maddow.  Hayes has no fucking ratings, and saying Olbermann's departure was a huge problem for MSNBC isn't much of a stretch. 

Ted Cruz: Traitor To Canada

Tud Cruz, titanic fucking moron and gods-awful Senator, is also a shitty Canadian!  I hope those lacrosse-playing bastards come down and get him for treason.  I mean, I would think we could do somethin' for Canada so that they would liberate us from having to deal with the stink of lunacy Cruz is leaving everywhere he goes.

Monday, August 19, 2013

The Return Of Ed Schultz

Being a team player works out sometimes, I guess.  At least that's 50% less Tweety that we have to deal with.  I think the moribund MSNBC lineup needed more jolt than Rev. Al can deliver on his own.  Who's gonna get left out in this, besides Karen Finney's weekend show of course?  Will Larry O'Donnell get the ax, or will Chris Hayes' ratings sink him at 8?

Mossadegh, Iran, And Democracy Plus 60

60 fucking years.  We're godsdamned geniuses.  So, we watch Egypt, Syria, Iran, Iraq, Palestine, the Professor and Mary Ann and know somewhere in our heart of hearts that we are responsible.  We wasted three generations of democracy in the middle east because we are as evil as we are stupid.  What would the world look like if we had been a wiser empire?

Crazy Cool Purple Spooky


Creepy, Racist, Ignorant, Nasty Wingnut Fools On The Interwebs

Nasty, racist assholes, you ask?  Oh, yes, I can tell you where to find them!  The internets!  You can find all of the creepy right wing cocksuckers you could ever want right on the intertube webs!  Your welcome...

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Virag's Movie Reviews: Olympus Has Fallen (2013)

This flick is a great contender for the dumbest, most contrived, and most hackneyed thing you will see all year; you'd like much better if you had seen it when it was called Die Hard.

Ryan Dempster Is A Huge Piece Of Shit

Almost enough to make you root for A-Rod, with some typically shitty umpiring as a bonus.  It would have been awesome to see Rodriguez charge the mound and pummel that pussy into a bloody pulp and then immediately retire.  That woulda been wicked fucking beautiful.

Update: Home run, good.

Very Neat 3Rensho Crowned Fork From Rock Lobster

What a wicked cool thing: a threadless fork for a 3Rensho built with a genuine Konno crown from the fine fine folk at Rock Lobster International.  I dig it.

CC Still Suck Sucks

That fat fuck is even further away from being an ace than Mike "The Mouse is a Louse" Mussina was. 

Saturday, August 17, 2013

The Huckabee Show Audience

Mike Huckabee's audience must be the saddest bunch of toothless, hollow-eyed, inbred pig-fuckers on the face of the Earth, excepting of course for Mike Huckabee himself and his fucktard Fox "News" partner Jeanine Pirro.

Morningstar Power

Friday, August 16, 2013

Oh...Eck's Doing The Game Cuz Remy Reasons

The Rem Dog is otherwise engaged this evening, I guess, so no Eck on the NESN post-game show.  The fucking kid sure looks like a goon, though, so he must be guilty.  Didn't this asshole have problems in the past?  I think there were some stories a while back about the kid and how the fucked up kid exacerbated the father's mental instability.  Anyway, not important when someone's dead, but the Globe story outlines a long list of abuse and other shitty roid rage behavior, so this Remy dickwad was no stranger to the inside of court house. It's too bad someone didn't put him out of his misery before he was able to kill the girl.

Will Patton And Colin Cunningham In Falling Skies

I don't watch Falling Skies, at least, not every minute of it; I do DVR it, but I spend a chunk of each episode doing fast-forward-fast-forward-fast-forward-MOON BLOODGOOD-stop!-fast-forward-fast-forward--too much of it is tedious, and I have no use for Noah Wyle.  I have seen enough of it since it has been on though to be impressed by the work done by Will Patton and Colin Cunningham.  Both of those guys were burdened from the outset by crappy, cliched characterizations and paid it forward with acting that was even flatter and less subtle than the writing.  Over time, however, these guys have made those characters so much more compelling than the they were at the start, rising above the cardboard cutout nonsense into something always watchable, and those two are easily the best part of the show.

Newest Day Rising

Oh, Please Jeezus, King Of Kingz

If this score holds up, let Eck be on the NESN post-game show.  Jeezus Krist, you know I love you so so much, grant me this wish.  Tanx.

Update: Rice is a pretty good second choice after an ugly Sox loss.  So, that's something.

Primeval Should Not Be Done

Primeval: New World was not good; the chemistry was all wrong, and the writing and performances were both very strained.  So, that's that.  (What was funny was seeing the Connor Temple character, a comic relief/potential redshirt from the beginning of the original show, easily outshine the Canadians on their own show.)  That said, the Primeval premise shows (hah!) promise; if they can get back to the manic wackiness of the original, whether on a series two of P:NW or a continuation of the UK version, I think it could be decent fun.  Oh, well.

Cockburn & St. Clair Fingerprint Flashback

This is one of my favorite things: a great little skull-fucking of the sainted and embarrassing FBI by Cockburn and St. Clair.  There is probably no police organization on the planet that combines dangerous ignorance and non-stop hilarity in one awful package.  Any time we get to see the Bureau and their ludicrous reputation knocked down a few pegs, we are all better for it.

Jennifer Rubin's Opprobrium

Rubin is a piece of shit, nasty, stupid, unctuous, a blithering wingnut fool of the highest order.  To see a former WaPo ombud go medieval on her ass in public like this is nothing short of orgasmic.  Having the rest of the rat bastards at the Post defend her tells you more than you ever wanted to know about our failing American political experiment.

Top Gear Ain't Gonna Like This

The Top Gear clowns always say that Great Britain is overflowing with caravanists, clogging up the roads and making life difficult for the rest of the Limey assholes infesting that tainted kingdom.  Well, here's some more anecdotal evidence.  Weird.  Where's the fun in carting around those shabby rolling cells?

Robert Stacy McCain: When Mental Defective Encopresic Would Be The Highest Compliment In Comparsion

Saying that Robert Stacy McCain is a brain-dead fucktard who smears his own shit on the walls would be a huge compliment compared to the reality that is The Other McCain: an irredeemable, disgusting asshole who is single-handedly making humanity markedly less intelligent yet way more fucking ugly by his mere existence.  I would totally believe he is a mental defective encopresic fucktard, as well, though.

Working' Progress: A Separated Piece

Boulder.  Dillon had pretty much decided it was Boulder.  He knew he had to leave.  Six years plus was long enough.  He wished he had a narrative that would allow him to go for a PhD in something stupid, history or anthropology or something.  That would be fucking golden.  He'd stay for that, but they knew him too well.  He didn't want to answer too too many questions.  Fuck.  Boulder.  Not fucking Providence.  Not fucking Santa Fe.  None of those other fucking places.  When?  Soon enough.  After the first of the year.  That would work.  The bar.  Fuck.  Joe Fallon didn't give up though, that bastard.  And because he was willing to push so hard, Dillon was getting some annoying interest from a few other firms.  They were like fucking blind men, rushing after Fallon's lead, hoping to get something special even if they had no fucking idea what that thing was yet.  Assholes.  He needed to make a list though, figure out where he should be looking.  Do some chasing of his own.  Too bad he didn't fucking care.

Evie reading Calvert was pretty funny; now they all were, apparently, all those silly, silly probably untalented girls.  Not like the old days.  Where was Larry Schwartz when you needed him?  Los Angeles, probably.  Sucking dick.  Good for him.  He was a good person, though.  There was an inherent decency to Larry under all that fucking hilarious walking, screaming, flaming Hollywood via Suffern commonplace.  Because Dillon was a Philadelphia cop's son, he missed a bunch of the riffing nuance to Calvert at first.  With the spread of the internet, the reality of Calvert's background was, much like Pynchon's oddly enough, more exposed, more transparent to anyone who actually cared.  Now it wasn't so much later and not everybody was reading Calvert, even here.  Some people.  But some of the kids, lots of them, really, were still reading Vonnegut.  Even here.  What were they doing in Boulder?

Workin' Progress: Dos Passos, That Bastard

Dillon almost made it to bed.  While he was watching the steam storm out into the kitchen darkness and waiting to brush his hair, he heard the door.  Evie came in with Venus; both were suddenly quiet when they realized he was up.  Apparently they didn't see the light on in the bathroom, or didn't notice it.  What had they been talking about?  He toed the door closed and reached for the mouthwash just as Evie was pushing the door back open.  She smiled and lightly brushed his cheek before plopping herself down and releasing a loud, sizzling stream of piss while Dillon swished the astringent around in his mouth.  Evie was quick, done and out before he spit.  He had been looking forward to some sleep; he had nothing till late in the afternoon, but what now?  Was she here to sleep?  Fuck?  Cry?  Talk?  Where had she been?

He made sure his towel was secure and in place before he walked in.  Evie was still dressed but she got up off the bed and pulled him close.

     -Hi, stranger, she said.  I've missed you.  I didn't feel well, but I'm better now.  You smell nice.

He could smell that she was freshly showered; she must've showered before she left.  Her hair under his nose smelled like flowers.  She reached up with licking kisses, the tip of her tongue darting and hot.

     -Missed you, she whispered.

Dillon didn't react when his towel dropped to the ground; it needed to be washed anyway.  He went for her pants first; she continued kissing him.  He managed to pull her clothes off between the kisses and get her onto the bed.  She kept kissing him and wouldn't let go down on her.  She dipped her fingers between her legs before grabbing him so he would know how wet she was.  Maybe Dillon had not known how horny he was, but he didn't think it took very long before he popped.  After he finished, she fell asleep quickly, between kisses.  Dillon worked her into a more comfortable position and went to sleep with his hand on her ass and the smell of her shampoo in his face.

She woke him with kisses.  He could tell it was early.  This time she turned him over.  Dillon wondered if she'd go all day without showering, reeking of his dick and her own alluring scent.  She was riding him with a clumsily increasing rhythm.  Dillon liked the mornings, and he realized that she was going for herself so he made sure he was following her, randomly bumping up into her sharply when he felt her cresting a peak.  The sweat was collecting in her bush, and she was getting louder, loosing guttural yelps with increasing frequency.  As her riding slackened, he grabbed her hips and pounded up into her until he came too.  She was up quickly, kissing and giggling, with his jizz sliding down as she dressed.  Dillon knew he had a few hours and was asleep again in minutes.  He could smell her at his slumber.

When Dillon got back just after midnight, he found Evie asleep in his bed, naked under the covers, with his old copy of A Year on Mars near her head.  She had told him that she hadn't read it; he believed her but it was fucking insane to think that 10, 15 years ago, so many of the students would have read it, as least as many as Vonnegut, way fucking more than Pynchon.  Fuck, even Julienne Moriarty had read it in high school back in Eugene.  George Calvert had had some success with his first novel, but it took more than ten years.  By that time he had written much more, expanding the characters of Greg and Chris Calvert who also may or may not have somehow been his real-life brothers even though Calvert had only a sister, Juliette, as a sibling.  His first post-Year work pretty clearly and seemingly pointlessly called out John Dos Passos, positing a world where Dos Passos had been so much more talented and courageous and intelligent, a political and cultural force, as opposed to his pathetic post U.S.A. career and dim-witted politics.  Because Calvert's biography was importantly fictional bordering on farce, the Dos Passos significance was not widely-understood; in Year, Calvert stomped on Vonnegut and seemingly dangerously derogated a classically-reclusive (pre-TV, pre-MacArthur) but forbiddingly talented Pynchon while viciously and easily disassembling remaining phalanx of useless literary pretenders.  But the Dos Passos connection was not as obvious to those who didn't know too much of anything of George Calvert before they had heard of his first book.

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Megyn Kelly's Hannidate Funfetti

Is Sean Hannity gonna get his nuts sliced off by Megyn Kelly on the orders of Roger Ailes?  Now that would be lots and lots of high-calorie entertainment!  With Hannity and Porkins facing the abyss on the radio, losing the tip-top prime time spot might mean the end for poor ole dipshit Sean Hannity.  Hannity is a fucking dope, dumb enough to be recruited by the Gingrich organization, but too dumb to do anything beyond puking up whatever nonsense he is paid to broadcast.  Some of the others can claim to be something more, but Hannity is the real thing: dumb as a post and incapable of growth.  Of course, Megyn Kelly is herself a nasty piece of work, failed bottom-tier lawyer and enthusiastic right-wing media whore; saying she's probably has a bit more going on upstairs than Hannity does is not much of a compliment.  I get the feeling that this really might be the beginning of the end for Hannity.  If he's at all intelligent--and he's not--Bill O'Reilly should be paying very close attention to the treatment Hannity gets from Ailes.  And I don't think poor, stupid Megyn Kelly is going to feel very good about herself if anyone starts comparing her with Rachel Maddow.

Stiglitz On The Detroit Failure(s)

Hugo Joseph Stiglitz flays open the guts of the Detroit bankruptcy and spills the shit all over the floor for all to see.  That's great.  I mean, it sucks and is a horrible thing to see, but the real causes of Detroit's problems are way more important than most Americans understand, are far more widespread than most Americans suspect, and have nothing at all to do with what you see on Fox "News" and other establishment mass media outlets.  Pro tip: unions and Democrats have nothing at all to do with it in the way Fox "News" and the fucktard Republicans and Koch-suckers says.  The Stiglitz piece is excellent.


First-Class Fisking Of George W. Bush

On the bullshit about Bush's purported leadership and success in African diplomacy.  Brilliant!  Retardboy Bush and his evil masters were monsters, and the fools who feted Bush over his Africa policies were the worst kind of fools and assholes.  Rob Prince gets it just right.  Fuck Bush and all the rest of those motherfuckers like Bono and his cadre of happy idiots.

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Egypt Is Unravelling A Bit

The experts describe the Egypt of today's politics as the military and fundamentalists with everyone else, secularists, minorities, the professor, and Mary Ann as strictly small-time sideline-sitters.  Oh Kay, even if you buy this analysis, AND you agree that we have been doing a shitload of heavy lifting in supporting the Egyptian military with money and stuff and legitimacy for a couple of generations, what the fuck has America been planning for, exactly?  Did we think Mubarak would live to be 1000 years old?  Were we expecting a seamless transition to yet another one-party President/strongman/democracy squasher?  Were we planning on signing off on a fundamentalist government like Morsi was running?  I don't know the answers to these questions, but from watching what has been unfolding, neither does anyone else, and this is perhaps the worst episode of Bullshit, or Not? ever. 

Mubarak's regime collapsed under weight of popular protest, and Morsi's disastrous tenure fomented an even larger popular uprising, so the military removed him (Morsi).  Now they are shooting people in the streets, so the illusion of benign military rule is looking problematic.  Personally, I detest fundamentalists in every religion and hate them even more when they are running the government, so I can get a chubby thinking of Morsi being marched out into the street at the point of gun, but I also know enough history to see that any purported democracy without a liberal and inclusive Constitution as its foundation is way too easy for fundie cocksuckers to highjack whether they are Muslim Brotherhood or teabaggers.

Wasserman On Fukushima

Harvey Wasserman is on it.  Needless to say, he's not sanguine about Fukushima's future.  For good reason, since we know that pretty much every new fact is going to be worse than the last.  Who's fucked?  We are.

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Chris Kvale Commuter

Green! And pink!!  With fenders painted-to-match.  Pretty fucking cool.  I would never have thought to put those too colors together; I especially like that glassy green. 

CC Suck Sucks

He's an awful pitcher, and an anvil around the neck of the Yankees.

There Was A General Sighting

On his blog a coupla weeks ago.  Not easy being an 11!

Republican Anti-Science

The science of fucktardery?  Well, whatever it is, the Republican party has gone so far down the rabbit hole of fundamentalist Christian ignorance and insanity that it probably cannot be saved.  Not that the Dems are much better...

Monday, August 12, 2013

Sub-Zathras Level Analysis Of The Serotta Soap Opera

Red Kite Prayer.  I'm voting "meh" on this one.  My suspension of disbelief was ruined by the mention of the execrable Dave Matthews.  One useful factoid though: the year 1989, the year Serotta went away for realz because that was the year Ben Serotta sold out to the Cox group.  That was the end, it just took a really fucking long time for the cluster to finally finish fucking.  Anyway, a Serotta without Ben Serotta?  Is anyone gonna care?  Don't think so.  Will the Serotta company make bikes again in any significant fashion?  Don't think so.  Will Ben Serotta make bikes under another name?  Don't thinks so.  Does it matter?  No motherfrakking way.

Top Tip: Don't Go To A Rodeo

Just don't. You can thank me later.  I mean, besides racist clowns and squealing teabagger fucktards sweating and stinking all over you, IT'S A FUCKING RODEO!  Ewww.  You don't want that. 

Sweet Jeebus, Cory Booker Gets Creepier Every Day

Everything you hear about this asshole makes him sound so much more repulsive.  Even in the US Senate, Booker will stand out as one of the biggest fucking creeps in the room.

Is Louie Gohmert America's Dumbest Congressman?

Could be, could be.  He is a screechy, 100% Texas fucktard half-pint half-wit and a wonderful companion to our stupidest fucking Senator.

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Whackjob Wingnut Every Day Is Like Sunday

Ugly, nasty, and probably short.  Why is it that these greasy fuckers always come across as chronic masturbators and serial playground exposers at no extra charge?

Fukushima Today And Every Day

This Fukushima disaster is ongoing 24/7, but for some odd reason, our glorious 24/7/365 cable news channels, our newspapers, and other news media cannot find time to cover any of it.  That's fucked up, because Fox "News" and NBC and the papers only want to get the truth out to the world, so this Fukushima thing must be no big deal, right?

Saturday, August 10, 2013

Saab Knockdown Kits?

Of course not, because I can't possibly believe they'll ever build another Saab, whether it is in Sweden or as a Chinese knockdown kit for the European or American markets.  Right now this new Saab parent company is only pretending that they'll build an electric Saab or a gas-powered Saab or a hybrid Saab, and that sure sounds dumb given recent history.  Until they roll a car off the assembly line for realz, all the new Saab talk is pretty much a circle jerk.

Even Yet Still Today's Wingnut Morons Of The Day

Mmmm...creepy.  These dime-a-dozen assholes (Florida!) are not only stupid and stunningly ignorant--with atrocious taste!--but disgusting as well.  Throw in some garden-variety racism, and you have the whole of teabagger nation in one spot.  Glorious!

This is too fucking funny.   One term only.  What a waste product.

You're Even More Annoying Sober

To be fair, I can't fault anyone for getting healthy if they really are sick, but I get the feeling that this dude is gonna be really fucking boring without the booze; him being a drunk does explain much, though, from the dead cat to the Obama fluffing to the weird politics to the disjointed rants.  I mean, if he isn't getting laid or getting his PhD or playing fetch, the booze is not the reason, it's the excuse.

Friday, August 9, 2013

Wingnut Idiots Of The Day Today

If you had to guess off the top of your head who the dumbest motherfuckers on the planet were, you would probably say anyone who calls themselves a Reganite Republican. That would be a great guess. Well, here they are!  Seriously, these fucktards are wasting YOUR oxygen.

Hugo! Hugo Schwyzer Blows Up (Or Gets Hacked)

Pretty entertaining, though.  I wouldn't put it past this cockbag that this whole thing is some sort of publicity stunt, though.  Or he got hacked.  Or he really is losing his fucking mind, such as it was.  Whatevs.  It's all good.  And funny.

History Is Your Curse

Lovely lesson in our sad history, Bill Clinton section, from Counterpunch.  They whole thing is basically a fuck me, no fuck you from the Clintons and the Democrats to the majority of Americans.  Clinton was when the Democrats finally came out of the closet once and for all as supremely evil motherfuckers.

Working' Progress: Darkness and Doubt

Dillon probably should have been paying more attention.  He was sure that he's missed what she wanted or what she didn't want.  Yeah, he had been looking forward to a winter with her in his bed, and he felt really middle school about the whole thing because the fucking had not been his objective.  He thought he'd done a decent job of fucking her, though.  No, he hadn't been as all-encompassing as he'd been with...other girls.  He had Evie pegged as a lesbian, and Evie certainly had not come across a raving cock monster, but she'd started on the pill.  What had she said about her sister?  Her sister had done something, but her friend was sleeping with a guy now.  Was that right?  Something.  Didn't matter.  It wasn't going to last.  He hadn't even realized till after they were back that she had gone to New York to have sex with that girl.  Jenna, right?  Jenna was the one Evie had been with, and the other one was the apartment mate or whatever.  Vicky?  What an unpleasant person she had been; Dillon could see that from the 20 seconds when he dropped her off and the possibly 40 on the street when he picked Evie up.  They'd fucked the night they got back, though.  He was as tired as she, but she had wanted it.  Virginia showing up like that probably freaked her out.  Too much Dillon in LA talk.  Evie might be an art history major, but she could add and subtract.  Mars hadn't done it with his girly babble, but the former LAPD in the form of a black woman turned lawyer showing up to shoot the shit and tell heartwarming stories of the bank probably had done it.

Dillon felt like shit when he got home.  He went in the back door after parking his car and was happy for the peace of flat black silence.  Besides the refrigerator, there wasn't a sound in the dark apartment.  Tomorrow was Tuesday, so Mars was most likely asleep.  Evie hadn't been there at all in a week, so Dillon wasn't going to be bothered.  It had been a 12 hour day with JK and it was after midnight.  It was Tuesday already.  Fuck.  Long day, and his head hurt.  He didn't get sick these days.  If he felt badly, his body usually sprung back to equilibrium.  The cold, greasy pizza he'd eaten a few hours ago that was currently burrowing in his guts like an ill-tempered worm and the gallon of coffee he'd had at Clinton street around 11 would not be doing any permanent damage.  JK couldn't have been any more thrilled, but once they had found his mini storage unit, all Dillon did was spend a week making crank calls to the cops to make this guy Kiffsky jumpy as shit.  They kept a watch each night after dark on the storage yard.  It had only been three days and there he was.  Dillon called the police and then distracted that asshole for 15 minutes, keeping him talking and blocking his way out, while JK stayed out of sight.  Dillon didn't feel he was in that much danger.  Kiffsky wasn't known as much of a shot; Dillon didn't get that close while he was standing out there between the two rows of doors.  Kiffsky was a fucking waste of space, armed but not that dangerous, and idiot.  Until the cops showed up, and that was when Dillon got the fuck out of there.  He could have drawn and held him there, but he was just as happy to let him run right into the fine and helpful police officers.  They drove to the station, and it took less than an hour for them to finish up.  Kramer was fucking thrilled.  It was another coup.

He peeled off his vest,feeling islands of sweat under there that were always under there and unhappily walked it back out to his car, shaking his head, wondering why a superball of pain was rolling around in there.  He could do it tomorrow, but he just didn't feel right not keeping it in the car with rest of his gear.  Up went the hatch, back went the special carpet in the boot, and under went the vest.  Always be ready.  If you're going to keep a bag, make sure you're always ready to go.  There's not a fucking chance in hell anyone in this fucking town would ever find everything he had in here, ready to go.  His bug-out bag wasn't any good to anyone but him; someday he thought he'd have a proper kit, but since he'd had this fucking car so long and didn't even by it, properly paranoid survival shit was probably not in the cards.  Always a few surprised, though.  He walked back in the dark along the path to his kitchen door after locking and alarming the car.  The best thing about Evie not coming at night was that he didn't feel the obligation to shower before bed, but he knew he would regardless.  He felt slimy and wanted nothing more than to take a shit, shower off his sweat and sleep dreamlessly on his clean sheets.

No, he didn't really get sick.  Spring-loaded centering.  Nothing really took.  He had not asked outright, but he didn't think anything would.  Anything.  He wasn't going to survive major trauma on his own like this, but he was strong, healthy, immune, powerful.  When he felt out of sorts, he bounced right back.  He needed to take a nasty shit.  That fucking coffee.  The pop.  Pizza.  Not good.  He'd like to leave, but where to go.  Nowhere better and for fucking ever.  Not so long ago he was looking forward to fulfilling the family pattern, now it would be so fucking much longer.  Kiffsky?  Jesus what a clown.  Dillon took an ugly little dump before he started the shower and felt immediately buoyant.  With the window open and the minty mint of the mint mouthwash sloshing in his mouth, it was almost pleasant for Dillon to be on this feet.  The hot hot heat and the steamy steam of the shower water was a welcome weight, a warm wet embrace.  Mars had not had many deadlines recently, he could tell, because the bathroom was pretty grungy.  When Mars had a deadline he became a happy fucking homemaker of procrastination.  Relaxed and happy Mars didn't give a fuck.  Besides, without Evie coming down, who would notice?  Mrs. Mars was easy to please.

Providence?  No, that wasn't going to happen.  Not fucking Boston, either.  Santa Fe seemed like a possibility, but there wasn't shit going on out there and the idea of New Mexico bothered.  With the entire west coast out, Pennsylvania not happening, the entire fucking Midwest full of slow children off limits, what was left?  The Republic of Boulder actually seemed like a plan.  He wished he didn't have so much fucking time; 6, 7 years ago, Dillon was fucking set, and part of the plan worked out just fucking fine.  6 years he'd been here; he should be looking at ten more at the most.  He woulda' been able to sleepwalk that.  Motherfuckers.

Thursday, August 8, 2013

Awesome Serotta Blog Post

Local person, I guess, hits it all: the unpaid wages; the shitty management; the obscene house; the wide spread douchiness.  Good fucking fun.

Protip: Lawrence O'Donnell Is A Fatuous, Preening Moron

So, just don't go on Larry O'Donnell's show (unless you are one of the MSNBC caged birds like Krystal Ball or Ari Melber).  O'Donnell's a maxi douche and way too concerned about self-promoting his own lame-brained method acting tee vee persona to understand annoying things like reality, facts, nuance, or sanity.  Ms. Ioffe was obviously exasperated, but now at least she is completely qualified to pass on this very important protip: don't bother going on Larry O'Donnell's show if you are not at least as big of an auto-fellating mutton-head as he is.

Serotta Soap Opera Already Much Higher Quality Than A Serotta Bike!

Shit's getting real...real fun.  So, from what I can see, the dipshit MBA douche Mr. Serotta brought in may have been the final straw thing.  Really, though, could Mr. Serotta and the dipshit have believed that they were gonna buy the company back from the idiots who had just bought it from the bank?  How the fuck did they think that was gonna work?  And if Serotta the company has been around 41 years, how many of those years did Ben Serotta actually own it?  Wasn't he just an annoying figurehead more often than the was the actual owner and boss?  If only Mr. Serotta had let Zathras run that shit.  They'd all be fucking rich.  Or at least employed.  And able to live with themselves.

More High Calorie, Puke-Inducing Cory Booker Goodness

From Atrios, "He is a tremendous asshole".

From Charlie Pierce: pretty much a lying piece of shit

That works, too.

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Your United States Senate Is About To Suck Way Harder Than It Does Today

Cory Booker: Uber douche weasel and enthusiastic Wall Street fluffer.  Zombie Frank Lauternberg would be a better Democratic Senator.  A mildly retarded teacup Yorkie would be a better Democratic Senator.  As a Senator, Booker will be nothing more than an unwatchable show pony doing his best to suck his own cock on the tee vee.

Yo, Zathras! There Never Was A Serotta Carbon Fork!

Ah, now that answers some questions.  There never really was a proprietary Serotta plastic fork made by the Serotta company (at least since the Serotta F-1, if then), so the fork business was never part of the business at all.  Well, I would think that the Serotta forks could be made and rebranded for a shitload less money and make the Chinese Envy forks a little worried.

Canadian Kid Vs. Canada's Eric Bolling

That didn't go well for that O'Leary prick.  How come most of the people that go on the tee vee are not as well prepared to refute the bullshit puked up by a smarmy bastard as this Canadian high school student?  I mean, O'Reilly, Hannity, Cavuto, and the rest of these cocksucking Fox "News" types wouldn't last 2 days on the air if every one of their guests was half as sharp as Rachel Parent.

Accidents Happen: Something Else Usefull On Kos

Planets align and shit, and there's something worthwhile on DailyKos.  Liberal media is one of the most fatuous as well as one of the biggest of the Big Lies in the United States.  Liberal media does not exist--even at Kos or the rest of the entry entry-level--any more than a liberal major political party exists.  The establishment, media, political, academic, financial, is wholly owned and 100% beholden to the ruling oligarchy. 

You'd Be Grumpy In Peru Back Then, Too

Especially if you were this cat, apparently.  The stupid cat meme is never gonna go away.

A-Rod's No Winner

The Yankees aren't magically better with A-Rod's winning ways on the field and in the clubhouse, so how does A-Rod think his fight against MLB is gonna go?

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

The Washington Post Shit Show Gets So Much Worse

Miracles do happen: the Washington Post WILL find a way to suck so much harder.  But as bad as an Amazon newspaper sounds, if world renowned fucking moron Josh Marshall cheers, you know it will be more horrible than you can possibly imagine.

What's Going To Happen To Serotta Carbon Forks Now?

Ben and the dipshit MBA ass clown are out, and it looks like the remaining company is pretty much nothing.  But...but what will happen to the Serotta plastic fork business?  Didn't they spend a shitload of money designing these things and then buy the Reynolds fork facility?  Wouldn't that be worth something if you had some enthusiasm and what passes for brains?  Paging Zathras!

Jakarta Choo Choo

Jakarta sounds just lovely!  This essay is really interesting and worthwhile, though, and we all need to remember this is our world, the one we all spent like 10,000 years making.  Good job!

Monday, August 5, 2013

Hardly Getting Used To

A-Rod Appeals The Asshole Tax

He's right to make baseball treat him fairly, so good for him.  He's being singled out essentially because he's a bigger asshole than anyone else in the league right now.  Or, at least he's the best-known, best-paid biggest asshole, so the dipshit emperor Bud Selig is attempting to make an example of him.  Let's hope Selig fails bigtime and Rodriguez gets nothing more than he deserves.

Let's Welcome Our Gloriously Vulgar New Time Lord

All good people now pray to jesus for a The Thick of It/In the Loop version of The Doctor.  Oh, the fun we all would have if they write for Peter Capaldi and turn him loose in an explative-laden of orgy of goodness.  Probably not, but what the fuck, can't we dream?

So, Low-Budget Chris Hayes Sucks Worse Than Chris Hayes?

Curiouser!  Who knew?  Hayes is a talented climber, so he was never, ever going to alienate the MSNBC establishment masters.  When they replaced him, they brought in a lesser version, so sucking shouldn't be a shock.

Fancy Fuckin' Farm Funfetti

Is Kentucky gonna finally make itself worth something by providing some high-calorie political fun this year?  Unfortunately the Dem candidate has the vile stink of the Clintons all over her, but Bitch McConnell is getting teabagged something fierce, too, so maybe we'll finally get something useful from Kentucky!

Not So Little Egypt

Path forward?  Egypt's democratic future is a violent and dangerous one in the short term.  Being a democracy absolutist is a relatively secure position to hold in these circumstances, but I can't help but think how fucking cowardly and terrible the democracy absolutists were in 2000 in the Unites States when the craven Gore gave up the fight and allowed the Supreme Court to legitimize a right wing coup while declaring and declaiming the glory of American democracy even as it was destroyed.  On the other hand, popular-demand military coups will curdle faster than yesterday's yogurt.  Revolution is bloody proposition; American and western intervention in Egypt have not helped so far and will only make this worse.  Egypt's path should be, must be, blazed by the Egyptians and no one else.

I Love The Interwebs: Dog People, Cat People, And Garden Variety Stupid Assholes

Dead cats and their idiot owners and even bigger idiot Pit Bull fluffers get all up in each others' business, and then somebody gets called a cunt and some fucking stupid cunt (hopefully pretends to) gets all offended.  Full-on, ocean-going asshattery, but somehow I just love the internets sometimes.

Friday, August 2, 2013

Johnny Marr Was Out There Paying Attention

A-Rod Inanity

Long long ago, A-Rod cemented his probably well-deserved reputation as a giant douche, so nobody really gives that much of a fuck what happens to him now.  The biggest issue, though, is that Bud Selig is surely a way bigger douche than A-Rod could aspire to be in a 1000 lifetimes.  Why is MLB making such a shit show out of this?  The league and the players have a pretty comprehensive labor agreement, so why not give up on the half-baked theatrics and just let the process play itself out?  Cuz A-Rod is a giant douche?  Cuz Selig is a way bigger douche?

3-D Violet, Bitches!

Everything old is new again.  My daughter wants pink anodized shit for her mountain bike.  Paul Components is all over it!

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Winter Is Coming

Wait, What? Racist Assholes At Kenny Chesney Concerts

Wow, that really rates a hale and hearty "No Shit".  Let me get this straight: a dipshit former University of Florida football player is a racist moron and likes shitty country music?  Well, I never.

The World's Worst Newspaper: The New Haven Register

Shame shame shame on those fucking pussies at the New Haven Register.  Instead of issuing an apology, the editor should have written an editorial today discussing Andrea Mackris and decrying sexual harassment.  And then told O'Reilly to suck his cock before spending the next 120 days editorializing about O'Reilly, Fox "News", their racism, O'Reilly's insanity, keester falafels,  and Andrea Mackris's lawsuit and settlement.