Monday, December 18, 2017

UFOs R Real!!!


Harry Reid, Starring As Ed Straker, Sings 'Books About UFOs'

Harry Reid, commander of SHADO.  Only a fool thinks they shut down the program.  They found the proof.  Now they're working day and night to stop the alien threat.  Join Harry Reid as Ed Straker, Joe Biden as Alec Freeman, and Barack Obama as Paul Foster and watch as they resist the alien menace!  UFO!

Conservative Christians Are Too Stupid For College

This idiot parent doesn't seem to know that her little christian is already a huge, herpes-ridden slut or a gleeful gay blowjob queen, and that the whole family should be banned for all colleges due to stupidy.  Jesus fucking christ, christians are fucking scum.

Steelers Versus Patsies Is Yet More Proof Of The Fundamental Evil Of The Universe

The rule is not the problem--it's easy to understand, runner vs receiver--whether you like it or not, but the simple fact that the Steelers playing the Patriots did not end with a rip in the fabric of the universe imploding the entire contest before that dumb play proves the universe is pure evil.

Saturday, December 16, 2017

Political Song for the GOP to Sing


Pretty New Neville Cork Content

That's not something anyone expected in 2017.  Apparently he's still got his frame building gear and might want to show you how it's done...

Trump Needs Steven Seagal In The White House Right Fucking Now

Secretary of State. Chief of Staff. National Security chief!  Something!  Trump needs Seagal ASAP.  This guy's vital!

Teabagging Trumptards Are The Dumbest Motherfuckers Ever

These dipshits believe every lie they are told, but they can't figure out anything true for themselves.  Every teabagger is a helpless stooge, being violated every day by the idiots who run the GOP.  These bastards deserve their fate, but at some point we have to stop allowing them to be the foot soldiers of America's decline.  Anyone stupid enough to think that somehow tens of thousands of people voted illegally in an election is beyond any form of help.  The screaming lunatics at InfoWars are only the most risible of America's exceptional assholes.

Thursday, December 14, 2017

Beautiful GOP Stalwart And Exceptional American Patriot Dan Johnson Was Sick To Death Of All The Winning

Enjoy hell you sick fucking bastard!  I'm sure this scumbag Johnson will be keeping a seat warm and the razor-sharp demon cocks hard for Roy Moore and Jerry Sandusky and a whole bunch of other world-famous Republican creeps in full view of Satan's throne.  Thanks, Trump!

Wednesday, December 13, 2017

Walls


Oh, No, RIP Pat DiNizio

Pretty sudden, though he had been sick the band was planning another tour.  That sucks.

Girls Girls Girls


Have The National Dems Learned The Lesson Of Alabama?

No, probably not.  The Dems are not going to do everything to build a vibrant constituency and bring out huge numbers of African Americans and other minorities, working class non-minority voters, aka cracker assholes, women, younguns at every fucking election.  Nope, the Dems will probably continue chugging along as the lame little brother of the GOP and continue to lose most of the races they should be winning--or would be winning if they represented a clear alternative to rock-ribbed conservative neoliberal bullshit.

Chris Froome Registers The Least Surprising 'No Shit' Failed Drug Test In Recent History

No. Shit.  Froome and Team Sky are the Lance Armstrong/USPS for this decade.  What a bunch of wankers.

Tuesday, December 12, 2017

It's Official: Trump Is Sick In The Head From Not Winning

No winning for Trump.  He's sick.  Sick in the head.  Everything Trump touches turns to shit.  Everyone Trump backs is a loser.  A good day for the country and the world.  MMAAAGGGGAAAAA!

Steve Bannon Must Be Sick Of Winning

Bannon sure looks like a loser this year.  Is he sick?  Sick of too much winning?  Does Bannon even know what winning really is? 

Charles Barkley Is Not Sick Of The Winning

Big Alabama guy on CNN right now from the Jones HQ.  Is he drunk?  Or just happy?  Or is the answer Alabama.  But Barkley is calling for the Dems to be better for the black folks and the poor folks in Alabama and beyond.  Nice.  Thanks, Mr. Barkley.

Roy Moore Is Sick To Death Of All The Winning!

Where's the winning for Moore?  Where's the winning for Trump?  First, Trump's man loses in the primary and then Trump's next man loses in the general!  MMAAAGGGGAAAAA!

InfoWars Is Losing Their Shit As The Race Was Called For Jones

A couple of the A-ball dipshits are blubbering their way through the call right now.  Pretty fucking hilarious.  Thanks, Trump!

Laura Ingraham's Low-Rent Facelift Is Full-On Uncanny Valley Tonight

The stress of Moore's risible loss is making her strip-mall plastic surgery look especially bad tonight.  Holy christ, she was homely woman before but now she looks like a Chinese knock-off dollar-store sex doll.  Jesus.

The NYT Election Widget Is Pretty Fun

A good design. Fun to watch as the results come in.  Watching the Roy Moore stuff coming in is even better!  Fox "News" is lots of fun tonight as well.

What's Worse For The GOP? Win Or Lose?

Short-term a loss means Trump has to eat a Roy Moore shit sandwich in public till christmas.  Fun!  But long-term, watching those Republican cocksuckers in the Senate try and deal with Moore will be a beautiful expression of American exceptionalism. 

Roy Moore's Jewwy Jew Lawyer Will Never Be Sick Of All The Winning

And by winning, we mean money, right Shylock.  This is such a wonderful expression of beautiful conservative Republican racist values that I think I need a cigarette. 


Jesus Frakking Christ, Arne Carlson Shows More Brains Than Any 30 Dem Senators

Of course, Carlson is not Kirsten Gillibrand angling to get rid of Franken in order to raise her own profile and eliminate rivals in the run-up to the next presidential election, either.  But good on Carlson for seeing the ratfucking and calling out the cowardice and stupidity on the Dems' side.  Jeez, a GOP guy who might not be a complete fucktard.  How might that happen?

V Little


Saturday, December 9, 2017

Collect Calling


$5 Million Is Not Nearly Enough Cash To Fuck That Creepy Harelip Motherfucker Trent Franks

Franks is a vile fucking teabagging shithead, so no wonder he tried to bribe chicks with $5 million to fuck him.  Not even Bill O'Reilly's most strung-out ladyboys would take that deal.

Of Course The Trump Pee Tape Is Real

And for sure it's actually Bill O'Reilly's favorite Indochinese ladyboys brought to Moscow to piss on Trump while Putin watches.  That will be the unanimous choice for best picture this year and every year for the next decade!  Thanks, Trump.

Suddenly Boston College Does Something Good

Nobody likes Duke.  So, for today at least, Boston College is not complete shit.  Thanks, Trump!

Political Song for Dems to Sing to Kirsten Gillibrand


How's That Post-Franken Unceasing Call By The Dems For Trump's Resignation By Going

Not so much? Shocking!  Who knew that Gillibrand and her braying herd of assclowns would forget all about this shit now.  This kinda shock can kill a girl...

Thursday, December 7, 2017

Black In Back


One State Solution In Palestine

Now's the time.  Undo apartheid Israel from the inside.  One secular state.  Civil rights and voting rights for all.  Freedom of religion.  Capitol in Jerusalem.  A perfect end to the struggle for Palestinian freedom.  Thanks, Trump!

The Dems Had One Mission: Deny Roger Stone Franken's Scalp

They failed.  Gillibrand and her herd of braying buffoons played exactly the way ratfucker Roger Stone knew they would.  Franken has been a target since 2008, and the Dems were stupid enough to fall for the trick.  Always ask why Gillibrand and the rest of those dumb broads were so upset about this but not nearly so upset about Merrick Garland or healthcare or the fight for $15 or any of the other shit that non-conservatives care about.  They pick their battles carefully.  Very.  Carefully.

Franken And The Dems Go Down Like Bitches

Now let's watch the Dems lose a Senate seat when both Minnesota Dems are on the ballot next year.  Fucking genius!  It's the slimy neoliberal careerist shitbirds like Senator Gillibrand and her band of merry airheads that might have cost themselves a majority.  Somehow, I don't think that matters all that much to them, though.  It's long past time for anyone with even half a brain to abandon the Dems once and for all.

Wednesday, December 6, 2017

Relined


What If The Next Victim Of The Democrats' Stupidity Is Someone Really Fucking Great?

Those morons with their coordinated attack on Franken--not on Trump, not on Moore, not on the tax cuts, not on McConnell, but on one of their own--what if those idiots destroy someone really excellent next time?  Gillibrand and the rest of those braying morons should never be trusted.  They destroyed Franken, but what if it is an actual decent or even a really great Dem next time?  A leader, a real, left-wing Democratic Party superstar being ratfucked by a creepy pervert like Roger Stone for no reason, what then?  Dems lose because they are losers.  It's not a mistake that they lost 1000 officeholders under Obama.  It was not a mistake that the Dems gave up a seat on the SCOTUS.  It's not a mistake that nobody destroyed ratfucking sex pervert Roger Stone 40 years ago.  Dems lose because they are losers.  If Dems were winners they'd be defending Franken, attacking Trump, opposing the tax cuts, fighting for single payer, fighting for a $15 minimum wage, attacking Moore and Farenthold and the rest of the GOP scum.  But they don't.  And they never do.  That's not a mistake.  Not an oversight.

Democrats Will Forever Be An Unending Disappointment

Vacuous self-righteous fools, mugging for a camera, too stupid to know they're being played.  This is why Dems lose.  It's also why Dems have shitty positions and can't bring themselves to stand up to the rest of the right-wingers.  Franken is merely a test case for Roger Stone's ratfucking--and it didn't start this fall as they've been targeting him since 2008--and the Dems led by those dumb broads are failing in the most embarrassing fashion.  Now the Dems are counting on Dayton to make the absolute right pick to replace Franken because Dayton fucks up the choice he might give the GOP a chance to pick up that seat in 2020.  Dayton's never been known as a genius or anything, so those airhead Dems have better have thought this all the way through.  Two things we know: Dems are weak and stupid and Dayton will put a shitty right-wing establishment Dem in the seat.

Tuesday, December 5, 2017

Sensed Less


Get The Fuck Out John Conyers

88 is too fucking old to hold that much power in Congress.  Regardless what Conyers did or didn't to with his pecker to his staff, he was decades past his sell-by date and should have been out a long fucking time ago.  Pelosi, too.  Buh-bye.  Feinstein.  Rangel.  Get the fuck out.  These Dems are all to fucking old and should be retired.  No wonder the Dems are so retarded.

Air-Headed War Groupie K.T. McFarland Is In Trouble

McFarland has probably sucked her last dick in service to America.  I guess it's hard to see it now, but maybe she was hired for looks or special skills 40 years ago.  Sure as shit she was never hired for her brains.  Even by Republicans.  This is another risible example of Trump picking the absolute biggest conservative morons for every possible role.  Brilliant!  Thanks, Trump.

Back to Fox "News" for her, where she can help Hannity brush up on his technique.  

Robert Mueller Seems To Be Enjoying Himself

Mueller's case will ultimately rest on the contents of tax documents and bank records, so nobody needs to wear a wire, but Mueller is certainly fucking with those nimrods on purpose.  The administration is wobbly to begin with, and this joyous abuse is simply Mueller's way of torturing them.  Rock on, Bobby Mule-er. 

Thanks, Trump!

Vanessa A. Bee With An Interesting Call For Non-Elite Boarding Schools

Exeter for everyone? Umm, no.  But the idea and ideal of more care for everyone and not less is a valuable one.  Kind of like the Norwegian model where the local community schools are comprehensive starting early, where the kids learn skills and self-reliance and shit like that without having to be locked in miasmic kinderprisons out of fear or lack of funds.  Current Affairs again.

Monday, December 4, 2017

Comprehensive, Elegant, And Brutal Ben Shapiro Fisking

That disgusting creep the Virgin Ben gets shredded by Nathan J. Robinson, and every good man and kind woman out there has a special feeling in the underpants now.  Shapiro is sad and foolish little man, and the more ridicule we can heap on his misshapen head, the better off everyone will be.

Paul Manafort Apparently Not Yet Sick Of All The Winning

There's some winning left for him, I guess!  Manafort's clearly a sooper-genius if he fucked up his deal so comically.  One thing you can be of with Trump is that every single person working with him is the biggest idiot Trump could find.

Sunday, December 3, 2017

Phoney Tree


The Story Of X, So Far

Somewhat remarkable X is still out there as a functioning entity.  40 years is a long freekin' time, and they were never a huge draw or anything.  John Doe is probably really happy he's friends with Exene instead of still married to her...

Trump V Dead Intern Scarborough? Fuck, Yeah!

These two loathsome shitbirds should take this fight to the death.  Trump and Scarborough are most disgusting right-wing assholes on the planet, so if they can take each other out, well, that would be the best thing that has happened to America in a hundred fucking years.

Aaron Boone Is Sure As Shit A Huge Middle Finger To Girardi

Why Boone? Simply because he's not Joe Girardi?  Well, oh kay, then.  I think that the Aaron Boone the Yankees hired has promised to be the company man the company wants, whatever that is.  And he's not Joe Girardi.

Thursday, November 30, 2017

Bandwagon Fanclub


Now Everybody Likes 'The Orville'

Bandwagonesque, anyone? (The idea, not the album.)  It's not just the gossip kids, but all the ass clowns who were shitting on the show way harder than they shit on most trash are now on board or at least on the platform.  It's popular.  We like cool things, too.  We know what's good.  Look at us having the same opinions like everybody else.  Keep in mind these are some of the same folks who think they're sharp enough to discuss other, sometimes somewhat important shit, too.  Thanks, Trump.

Joe Barton Is 100% Sick Of All The Winning

Yeah, bye, k.  Who could possibly be sick of winning with Joe Barton?  Maybe the poor fat fucker realized he didn't have too many good years left of yanking his nasty little pud on the internets, so it was now or never to chase that dream.  Thanks, Trump!

The Rest Of The World Gets In On The Ben Domenech-McCain And The Federalist Fisking

Welcome aboard.  Ben Domenech-McCain will always shit out the dumbest plagiarized bullshit, even when he doesn't write it himself.

Wednesday, November 29, 2017

X Back


Jane Sanders Obliterates Joy Reid

Oh yeah.  Vicious.  Reid deserves no less.

Not Ewe Too


Terrible Things About U2, And Thanks The Gods Nobody Cares

Nobody gives a shit about U2's new record, but the 90s were a terrible time for U2.  The music was laughably bad, and anyone who doesn't understand that is a fucking vile moron.

Comprehensive Yet Joyless Fisking Of The Proud Boys, America's Most Explicit Expression Of Closet Cases Since The GOP

Sure, it's fine to catalog their fascist, violent, misogynist, and racist tendencies and actions, but when you get into the fabulous weeds with the proud boys, you simply must revel in ridicule and point and laugh at their pathetic homosexual subtext.  These semi-pro nancyboys are not just the guys not cool enough to make the team or get a big to the fraternity, but they're the guys who didn't get into state u in the first place.  Most decent folks would say it doesn't matter if these losers are timid closeted homos, since that's their own business, but not those proud boys.  They pride themselves as virile and desired, but their whole existence screams help me, love me for my very gay self louder than the Village People, Rob Halford, or even Alex Jones.

Tuesday, November 28, 2017

1 Line, No Waiting


Figuring Out Arcade Fire Is Not That Hard

There's nothing complex, nothing deep about the band.  They're good.  Very good at their peak, and now they'll never be that good again.  Never brilliant.  Never the Mekons.  Far too easy to overthink Arcade Fire, but the answer is pretty simple.  I said years ago that The Suburbs was like Jonathan Franzen's The Corrections, good, very good at times, clever in spots, entertaining, but short of brilliant, while also clearly the creative peak of the artist.  Arcade Fire, like Franzen, is easy to figure out.

James O'Keefe Is Now Officially Sick Of All The Winning

O'Keefe is fucking sick! What happened to all the winning?  He probably thought he'd never get sick of all the winning, but something happened.  What was that??

Thanks, Trump.

Monday, November 27, 2017

Word Up


Trump Is No Worse Than Every Other Racist GOP Shitbag

Of course he made an embarrassing racist remark in front of drunken redskins who were playing powwow for firewater.  Why wouldn't he?  It's the GOP way!  Those fucks love that shit!  And every one of 'em got to take home a free blanket, too.

Kevin Sorbo Is A Special Kind Of Stupid

It's nice that he can usually put on his big boy pants by himself now and go outside to play, but that poor dumb bastard should not be left alone ever.  Sorbo is one of those nitwits who can't understand that Hillary Fucking Clinton is not actually elected to anything right now, so she matters almost less than Kevin Sorbo.

Joy Reid May Be A Village Idiot, But Erick Erikson's Fat Face Is Not Up To Fisking Her

I'm sure Erick son of Erick has trouble picking his nose without adult supervision.  Reid's no-show job in the establishment is safe as long as dimwits like Erickson are the only ones sniping at her.

Political Song for Chuck Timlin, Chip Lowery, Adam Hardej, and the Rest to Sing


Trump's Incompetence Is Breaking Every Facet Of American Government

And it's hilarious.  Trump's not simply a tiny-fingered vulgarian, not simply a childish imbecile, no, he's so much more.  Trump is tediously stupid, hopelessly incompetent, and the GOP establishment is helpless before him.  These are the greatest days for entertainment in human history.  And he's not just destroying America, he's unraveling the entire western world.  Thanks, Trump!

Ginnin' It


Sunday, November 26, 2017

Trump Will Lie About The Piss Tape, Too

He's trying to lie about the pussy tape now, after admitting it already because senile, and no doubt Trump will lie about the piss tape when it comes out, denying that those Indochinese ladyboy hookers pissing on him were the ones he met through Bill O'Reilly.

Atrios' Peeps Pretty Much Grok Franken

A coupla lame trolls and an unfortunate midwestern lesbian are fucking dumb as rocks, but, as a whole, better than the general population on this shit.  Small victories and whatnot.

Uncle Tom Tim Scott Is A Little Bit Sick Of All The Winning

Even a boot-licking Uncle Tom can have too much winning, I guess.  Scott will never jeopardize his place in the plantation house, but that doesn't mean his obsequious smile is sincere. 

Doctor Who, Way Before It Was Cool Or A Reasonable Facsimile

Jesus, it musta sucked to be a greasy dweeb loser before the interwebs.  Those poor fuckers had to be tedious and awful in person and through the mail...

Down Trickle


Somehow Basic Science Is Too Hard For Every Fucking Republican

Science is sciencing right there in front of them every day, but none of the teabagging GOP racist fuckfaces are smart enough to get it.  That's not good.  You don't need to be a scientitian or other expert to comprehend the concepts involved.  Reactionary right-wing ignorance, carefully cultivated by the ruling class is destroying humanity.  Evolution is a fact.  It's happening.  Your gods are fantasies. 

Goin' Downer


Rosy Jackoff


Saturday, November 25, 2017

Nice Writeup On The Orville

Well-doneThe Orville is not the greatest show ever or anything, but it is a decent TNG homage.

Six Years Of Fuk U Fukushima

Jesus frakking christ. That's half a life if you're 12.  It's an amazing artifact of our modern civilization that this shit can happen and then just fade out of the collective consciousness.  Wonderfully useful for maintaining the status quo. 

The Twits Fail Net Neutrality

Some of them try their damnedest, working their empty heads overtime, but of course the reactionary cocksuckers like that #one centaur guy show up to puke up bullshit and then everyone gets confused and forgets what they were talking about.  Fucking twits.

Danica Roem May Never Get Sick Of All The Winning In Virginia

Keep it up, girl!  Roem's winning sure looks like losing for Trump and all the hateful fundie shitheads and other vile bigots in Virginia.  Thanks, Trump!

Joe Barton Whacking His Tiny Weiner Is Truly Making America Greater Again

Nothing says American exceptionalism quite like a fat, 90 year old congressman furiously jerking his tiny dick on video.  Winning!  MMAAAGGGGAAAAA!!  Thanks, Trump.

Those Motherfuckers At Time Had Better Make Colin Kaepernick Man Of The Year

Or Kim Jong-un. Or Hillary Fucking Clinton.  Something that will make Trump have a complete, beautiful, public, hilarious, pants-shitting, shit-throwing psychotic break.  Please jeebus.

Beautiful Christian Patriot Christopher Gattis Is Not Sick Of All The Winning

Gattis loves jesus, the constitution, freedumb, Donald Trump, guns, and America!  He's responsible for the greatest headline in human history: Youth Pastor Murders Family At Thanksgiving.  Fuck yeah, America.  Thanks, Trump.

Useful Juanita Broaddrick Fisking

Clinton was trash, and the women he was attracted to were fucking trash as well.  Broaddrick is fucking problematic as a hell.  She fucked up so badly that we'll never know what happened between her and Tubby.

Thursday, November 23, 2017

Gobble This, Motherfucker


Let It Ring


Always The Dumbest Take From Gleeful Pissboy Ezra Klein's Vox, Franken Edition

Too stupid to live, that should be the Vox credo.  Always lame, always shallow.  Always wrong.  So according to moron Anna North the photograph of Franken and Tweeden shows Franken "apparently harassing" Tweeden.  NO IT DOESN'T!  The picture was staged.  He never touched her!  She was not sleeping.  Jesus fucking christ, why would Vox or anyone else take the word of movement conservative and Fox "News" contributor/Roger Stone operative Leeann Tweeden?  That's moronic.  Then Franken supposedly failed to "respect the bodily autonomy" OF A TRUMP VOTER!  WHO COMES OUT YEARS LATER!  What the fuck?  How can anybody be this dumb.  Franken may have done something.  Or not.  But right now there are no decent reasons to believe he did anything wrong because Roger Stone.  Stone is not to be trusted, so all this shit and all these "accusers" are highly suspect. 

And North, who writes and thinks like she's 12, probably didn't live through the Clinton shit, but the people who did live through it understood that Monica Lewinsky was grooming Clinton for exactly what she got; Tubby was guilty of bad judgement to the billionth degree, but he didn't target or groom Lewinsky for harassment.  Juanita Broaddrick may or may have been raped by that asshole Clinton, but the evidence available at the time, including a sworn statement from Broaddrick herself that it never happened, made it impossible to believe her.  Bill Clinton was a vile piece of shit and a worse president--much the same way Franken is a loathsome neoliberal establishment Dem senator--but that Clinton/Lewinsky bullshit was a politically motivated hit job, and the shitbird Dems had no choice but to fight it.  Anna North is an airhead and wrong as wrong can be about this shit show, so she fits right in at Vox.

Reasonable, If Shallow, Al Franken Fisking

No pearls clutched and an understanding that any dipshit appointed to replace him would be just as much a neoliberal tool as Franken.  That's better than most other commentators have managed!

John Rogers Is Sick Of All Roy Moore's Beautiful Winning!

So sick of all the winning that he quit!  With three weeks left in the campaign!!  MMAAAGGGGAAAAA!!!

A Billion Views For Bullshit, But This John Lanford Thing Gets No Comments

AV Club and America suck.  Jon Langford keeps chugging along, working working working till he drops.  Rock on, cowboy.

Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Roy Moore's Wife Was A 24-Year Old Divorced Single Mother When They Married

In fucking shitsville Alabama, in 1985.  Was she as vulnerable and powerless and malleable as a teenager to the 38-year old pervert Moore?  Was she helpless and needy?  Was she willing to put up with his shit because she had no prospects?  Was she like an 8th-grader from a broken home?  Was she like a poor, naive teenager happy to get the attention?  She might be a vile cunt now, but was she just another dumb girl exploited by a serial predator?

Joe Barton's Dick Is Not Sick Of The Winning

Joe Barton and his useless little weeny are never gonna be sick of winning!  Barton is a hot and horny Texan with a compact tool ready for some nauseating cowboy action with mature Lone star heffers.  MAGA!

Brutal Fisking Of Exceptional American Inanity

William Kaufman is not amused.  Good for him.  Perspective is not encouraged around here.  Never really was.  But the grossest atrocities have always been and will always be obfuscated by the puerile behavior of our "leaders" and other "celebrities" because that is very good for business as usual.

Trains


Tuesday, November 21, 2017

Richard Spencer Is Not Sick Of Winning!

Winning! MAGA!! Hitler!!!  Richard Spencer is making friends everywhere he goes.  Everybody wants to be associated with America's beautiful neo-Nazis.  These are some exceptional Americans for sure!

How Old Was Roy Moore's Wife When He Met Her?

15? When he noticed her at a dance recital? That's not too fucking creepy or anything.  What the fuck was he doing hanging out at dance recitals?  Jesus christ!  He says he didn't hop on her at that time, but he's a fucking liar and a child molester, so we can't trust him.  This gods damned creepster was a full-time child predator.  How the fuck are we just learning about this atrocity now?

Retrogrouches Of Italy, Offical

Everything old is new again.  But that 1985 Campag Super Record stuff would be impossible to make today.

Monday, November 20, 2017

Sarah Corina Is Tobora


Sarah Corina's Relentless Self-Promotion

The woman won't shut up about herself.  A tweet every 3 or 4 months, maybe.  Damn, girl, chill the eff out.

I wish we had some real news, though.  I dig The Mekons, but I did 'em most with her.

Attn Dems: Leigh Corfman Is What A Real Victim Looks Like

If you can't differentiate between a set-up and a real victim, here it is.  Corfman has credibility and courage.  Learn to recognize those things, Dems.  It might be important someday.

Ridor


Susie Madrak, Idiot. When Do We Get Smart Folks Instead?

Aren't people over the age of six supposed to learn a thing or two?  Jesus.  Madrak is a fucking buffoon, falling right into the trap the Wiley E. Coyote named Roger Stone put right in the middle of the fucking highway.  Even a cartoon bird was sharper.  And maybe Madrak and the rest of the pearl-clutching airheads haven't picked up on the racist shit being thrown Franken's way.  The anti-Semites are pissing themselves with joy right now.  Shouldn't Susie Madrak be asking why?

LaVar Ball And Donald Trump Are In Love

This is the greatest love match since Satan and Saddam Hussein.  These two clowns need each other.  They ache for it.  It's grand.  And if we put them both in a rocket and fire them into the sun, the rest of us won't have to watch.

The Senior Gossip Kids Try A Little Harder To Undo Their Heads From Their Asses

These are the serious gossip kids, the news ones.  A few of 'em give it the old college try and work to convince their cohort that the shit about Franken is fairly obviously a smear campaign.  Anyone with a couple of brain cells should be able to tell the difference between the reportage of the Roy Moore and the Al Franken allegations.  First and foremost, the Post found Roy Moore's victims, vetted their stories, and interviewed them multiple times to test their veracity, while the two lying GOP sluts in the Franken case outed themselves to the press and have not been verified at all but have been caught misrepresenting themselves and/or their accusations.  See the difference?  Me, too.

The Girl Gossip Kids Are Idiots

Jesus, they're as stupid as trumptards.  If they are so fucking gullible that they're not able to consider each claim of misconduct on its own merits, well, what the fuck are they doing running around loose?  Can they not read and see that the woman's statement about Franken on Facebook was a joke in response to her sisters comment about bibles and space between them?  Gods damn, fucking dumb.  Surrendering to Roger Stone's ratfucking means losing today and forever.  Too bad these naive kids are too hopeless to see that.

Friday, November 17, 2017

Clear Eyes


Stupdendous Drive-By Auto-Fisking By Scab Cocksucker German Lopez

Delete your account, you stupid motherfucker.  Might as well, German, since it will take literally the rest of your life to get the taste of Ezra Klein's piss out of your mouth.

Who Else Is Still Kinda Shocked Roy Moore Was Molesting Girls And Not Boys?

It still seem wrong.  Moore is such a classic closet-case, ostentatious bullshit christian, silly little guns, fabulous cowboy costumes and all.  I am still surprised that his predilection was teenage girls.  Not that it's better that way.

You Can Always Count On The Dumbest Take From Amanda Marcotte

Why exactly does anyone pay Marcotte for this shit? What qualifications does she have that someone much sharper does not?  We may never know the answers to these questions, but tune in again next time for another exciting episode of Bullshit, Or Not?

So, anyway, anyone who ignores the agenda behind Leeann Tweeden, Fox "News" and ratfuckers like Roger Stone right fucking now and instead worries about Michele Bachmann being elected to the Senate is a fucking idiot.  Franken's not up till 2020, which will be either Pence or Trump trying to stand in front of a tsunami; all this bullshit with Franken and Tweeden will be forgotten as long as this the extent of the allegations.

Roy Moore Press Conferences Are Making America Greater Again

This is about all the winning any one man can take.  Any more winning than this and your head will explode!


Becky Gray Is Definitely Sick Of All Roy Moore's Winning

This woman Becky Gray is fucking brutal in her denunciation of Roy Moore.  Absolutely beautiful.  She should be in all the fucking ads running in Alabama.  "He's not a christian.  He's a pervert."  Just perfect.  Brava!

Roy Moore's New Mallrats Flick Is Gonna Be A Blockbuster

I don't know how any other movies will win any awards when Roy Moore's Mallrats 2: Sweet Young Alabama hits screens next year.  It's got it all.  A debonair older man.  Hot young teens!  Winning!!  MAGA!!!

Shame On The Dems And The Media For Believing Leeann Tweeden When She Is Clearly Lying

The Dems need people willing to push back against the GOP and Tweeden for lying about the picture.  Obviously Franken can't do it.  Not Schumer or the pearl-clutchers in the Senate--and idiots like Tammy Duckworth who said she had every reason to believe a Fox "News" birther friend of Roger Stone Republican activist like Tweeden, but that's right there are no good reasons to question her veracity.  Jesus.  Fucking losers.  But someone on the Dem side with balls needs to stand up for the their team.  Preferably a woman, but someone should be telling the truth about this hit job.  Tweeden is not sleeping in that picture, she's pretending.  It's clearly staged.  Franken is not touching her, so that is in no way photographic evidence of groping and/or assault.  If she's lying about that, then she might be lying about the rest.  She's a Fox "News" employee after all, birther, friend of Hannity, so she is a known scumbag liar and piece of shit.  And if Franken did assault her in some way, and it can be verified by someone not associated with Roger Stone or Fox "News" or the like, well, that's fine.  Until then, it's a lie.  A smear.  Some Dems need to say this.  Fight back.  Hard.  Until it goes away.  That's how an adversarial system works.  It's not about right and wrong, it's about winning.  Every.  Fucking.  Time.  Somehow the GOP sorta understands this most of the time, but the Dems never do.

And there needs to be pushback against the incompetent establishment media who are once again bumbling around as useful idiots serving the movement conservatives while pretending they are acting on principle.  Two-bit hacks like Michelle Goldberg are using this horseshit to further their own climb up the village ladder, to the detriment of civilization as she enables conservatives because of a "disgusting, indelible photograph".  A picture where he's not touching her and she's not sleeping, but Goldberg is dumb enough to push the right-wing narrative.  Again.  Use your eyes you fucking morons.

I am not a Franken supporter, or even a supporter of most Dems--if Franken is forced out Mark Dayton will appoint another worthless establishment Dem to replace him--but when the conservatives can so easily undermine the other major political party, well, that's bad news for everyone.

This is only the latest evidence we'd all be better off to let the Democratic Party completely collapse along with the Republicans.  The entire establishment is weak and diseased, and with these right-wing political parties gone, we at least have a chance to rebuild a major party on the left in the aftermath.

Slangin' It


Thursday, November 16, 2017

Al Franken Is Smarter Than The Average Dem--Not Hard

Dems never learn anything--you can have Trump and Moore and Vitter and Santorum and a billion other creepy GOP perverts out there carrying on in spite of everything, yet Dems--not leftists, Dems--are all pissing themselves over this Franken bullshit, while Franken is being smart.  The Dems would be fucking stupid to give up Franken for something being peddled by a Republican operative, frequent Fox "News" personality, Trump supporter, and sub-grade moron like Leeann Tweeden.  Franken is taking it head-on.  Smart.  Franken should pledge to resign "24 hours after the President".

But Dems are pussies and dumb as rocks.  They never ever learn anything and are never willing to stand up to stupidity, mostly because they're just as guilty as being fucking worthless as the GOP.

Now, leftists, on the other hand, well, they can go all Eve Peyser and call for Franken to resign because a photograph of him not touching an actress pretending to be sleeping means he assaulted her, and it's mostly fine because Franken has been a pretty useless establishment Dem and would likely be replaced by someone exactly as useless.  You can get tons of support and push your agenda, which is probably a good thing, except for the fact that you would be emboldening the bad guys in the short term at the very least.  Risky.


Dems on Team-D should be fighting against this bullshit with 100% ferocity.  If they truly wanted to beat the Republicans.  Which they don't.  So we know how this will go.

Leftists should be smarter about this shit, too, though, smarter then Peyser and the rest of the gossip kids and the other soft-headed simps out there snuffling their way onto the bottom rungs of the establishment.  When the right-wing establishment fights back against their own foul deeds with lies, the good guys and gals should be fighting it with all the ferocity the Dems won't, no matter how much it makes them feel good inside to stand on what they believe is principle.  As they are here apparently.  There were plenty of witnesses to this stuff with Franken.  It was 11 years ago, not 17,000.  If Franken did something wrong with this woman, then it will surely be uncovered, and if the GOP is smearing Franken, well, then don't be dumb enough to fall for it.  But that won't happen, because well-meaning dopes like Peyser will always take the bait and will never be rational enough to understand what they're doing.

Unless you are hardcore and going for the burn it all down solution.  That's fine, and may be necessary sooner rather than later for any real progress, but I doubt that most indignant internet left or leftish folks out there have the stomach for that shit.

This is the reality of the world we live in.  These are exactly the sorta of lessons most of these boobs should've learned by now, but it's sad that Franken is the only one who seems to be paying attention.  You shouldn't need to be the target of an attack to recognize it's an attack.

But something we're not considering is this.  Eve Peyser might not be the best person to judge Al Franken.  Jesus.  You're not supposed to read the shit off your fucking phone.  Just awful.


Wednesday, November 15, 2017

Daze In


Bernie Bernstein Will Never Be Sick Of All The Winning

Bernie Bernstein is a big city jew and he wants to give YOU money!  All you gotta do is dish the dirt on Roy Moore and you can get some of that jew money from Bernie Bernstein.  Do you want jew money?  Would you like to take some money from a jew?  Well, when Bernie Bernstein calls, you know what to do!

Will Callista Gingrich Be The Premier Cocksucker At The Vatican?

She'll probably have some stiff competition, but Newt was willing to stand up for her skills with a dick in her mouth before god and shit, so that's something.  Can she be as good as Nancy Reagan, tho...

What Happens When You're A Whiny Bitch And You're Mad Some Other Idiots Make Way More Money On YouTube Than You Do?

This. This happens.  Flat-Earth Bob is shocked and dismayed that it's way easier to make money on the interwebs with low-effort, low-overhead dumb shit than it is to make real art, or write books, or make films.  Really?  No shit!  Who fuckin' knew.  This is jealousy pure and simple.  In fact, I would almost think this Bob guy was doing a really dry, arch send-up of internets morons, but the obsequious sucking up to the site promoting his clickbait is more than a bit thirsty.  Ask the Red Letter Media guys about how much easier it is to be clowns instead of filmmakers.

Coming Soon: Roy Moore Starring In Mall Rats 2

It's the bigly movie of the year nobody wanted to see!  It's chock full of winning!  It will make America greater again!  Donald Trump and the Weinstein Company present Roy Moore starring in Mall Rats 2: Sweet Young Alabama, with music by Ted Nugent and Mike Huckabee.

Trenton Garmon: Not Sick Of Winning And Possibly A Worse Lawyer Than Imani Gandy Or Armando Llorens!

If you're a bigger fucking moron than Gandy and Llorens, that's some bigly motherfucking winning!  Garmon is also proof that Roy Moore is not the dumbest lawyer in Alabama.  MMAAAGGGGAAAA!  Thanks, Trump.  Winning is fun.

Sean Hannity Is Sick Of All The Winning

So much winning! Holy fuck that's a shitload of winning!  MMAAAGGGGAAAAA!  If you're a child-molesting creep like Roy Moore and you can't count on the 100%, iron-clad support of a fatuous fuckbag like Hannity no matter what disgusting and illegal things you did to helpless kids, who's left?  This is full-on, ocean-going winning, Trump style!

Tuesday, November 14, 2017

Girls Talk


How Big Of A Fucking Creep Do You Have To Be To Get Banned From A Mall In Alabama?

In 1980?  Jesus, Roy Moore was a fucking serial child molester and predator.  What the fuck is he doing running for Senate? 

Namein'


Paul Ryan Seems Sick Of All The Winning

What is winning for the GOP anymore?  Trump made 'em sick of the winning, I guess.  Winning doesn't mean what it did a couple of years ago.  Thanks, Trump.

Exceptional American Freedumb Breaks Out In A California School

MMAAAGGGGAAAAA!  Who was this beautiful brave patriot expressing his love of freedumb?  Why don't more people love the constitution the way this fella did?  Winning!  Guns!!  FREEDUMB!!!

Senile Old Orrin Hatch Now Very Confused About All The Winning With Roy Moore

Poor old creep.  It's pretty clear that Hatch now has no idea what winning is all about.  This Roy Moore thing is making winning very confusing for the GOP.  Thanks, Trump.

But If Italy Doesn't Have The World Cup

What's left for those fucking greaseballs? It's Italy for fuck's sake!  I guess this proves that even decent football countries can fuck it all up.  Thanks, Trump.

Monday, November 13, 2017

Without Plagiarism And Lies, The Federalist Would Have Nothing

So, some inbred dipshit from a risible teabagging college goes on an unhinged rant making up nonsense about Vienna because the kid had lived there, hoping to make all-American exceptional teabaggers and other mental-defective fuckwads who might read The Federalist hate commies or something.  Genius!  Winning!  Where did Ben Domenech tell that kid to copy that bullshit from? 

Sunday, November 12, 2017

Dishin'


Pat Toomey Sick Of Winning?

Too much winning for shitty PA Senator Pat Toomey?  He sounds a little sick, so that must be sick of winning!  MMAAAGGGGAAAAA!  Thanks, Trump.

Christianity Is A Mental Illness

You gotta be fucking nuts to believe there's an invisible sky spirit who cares about your sex life.  That's fucking stupid.  This poor, sad, lonely--and sick--old woman is certainly pathetic, but the goofy catholic shit just makes it so much dumber.  How the fuck can these people wipe their own asses.

Finally A Reason To NOT Smash A Keurig! Winning!! MAGA!!!

Thanks teabaggers.  Maybe the DSCC should buy every American a Keurig machine with a GOP = child molesters sticker on it so everyone can enjoy shitty coffee and shit on Repbulicans.  Winning!

Live In Hell


Jeanine Pirro: Cunt Of The Year, Every Fucking Year

Sure, there's probably someone nastier than Jeanine Pirro out there, some conservative fuckstick so vile and repulsive, so nauseating, the entire universe runs away from their rancid inanity, but Pirro is a horrible, horrible cunt.

Friday, November 10, 2017

Political Song for Jim Zeigler to Sing


Jim Zeigler, Like Roy Moore, Is A Devout Fucking Christian

And an utterly vile asshole.  Zeigler is a fucking creep himself, and he and Roy Moore deserve each other.  MAGA!  MAGA!!  MMAAAGGGGAAAAA!!!

Jerry Falwell Jr Not Sick Of Winning, Roy Moore, Or Child Molestation

Jerry Falwell Jr. stands up for sexual assault of children! Praise jeebus!  There's one creepy fuck who's not at all sick of winning!  Falwell loves him some Roy Moore.  Thanks, Trump.

Senators Mike Lee And Steve Daines: Officially Sick Of All The Winning

Just too much winning and child molesting for Mike Lee and Steve Daines.  Those fuckers simply hate winning.  And child sexual abuse.  And Roy Moore.  Or something.  But Trump said people would be sick of all the winning.  Lee and Daines must be those people.  Thanks, Trump.

The Independent Unleashes A High-Altitude Bombing/Fisking Of 'Resistance' Asswipes

Jeebus feckin' christo, that was fucking hilarious.  And they seemed to be having some fun with it, too, and that's so important to enjoy making fun of these risible fuckers.  Rock on!

Director's


Thursday, November 9, 2017

Animated Klub


Shocking News: Creepy Christian Asshole Roy Moore Is A HETEROSEXUAL Child Molester!

Breaking: Roy Moore is NOT into diddling young boys Sandusky-style!  Repeat: Disgusting sex pervert child molester Roy Moore is not a closet-case.  In shocking news, the Washington Post printed a story detailing how Roy Moore molested a 14 year old girl when he was 30-something.  He stalked the girl and took her to his house at night and proceeded to assault her.  In an unexpected twist, Moore's victim was a girl, not a young teen or preteen boy.  This news of a sex crime committed by Moore against an underage female is definitely a surprise to anyone in America who has seen Moore on the tee vee or in person.  GOP hypocrites and assorted right-wing fuckers have called on Moore to withdraw from his Senate race if these shocking allegations of heterosexual child molestation are true.

Betsy DeVos Might Be Sick Of All The Winning Or Something

Winning doesn't seem to apply when it comes to mental-defective ogre Betsy DeVos.  What did Trump mean about all the winning?  Who exactly was gonna be sick from too much winning?  DeVos?  Her closet-case junior fascist thug brother, maybe?  It's not clear.  MAGA?

Lee Carter Is What Real Winning Looks Like

Carter ran on his own as a socialist after the Dems cut him loose. And he won.  Organizing and outreach and enthusiasm and popular left-wing ideas matter more than party imprimatur.  Unlike the Trump insane ranting, Lee Carter is genuine winning.  The Dems should be learning from this shit, but undoubtedly the rock-ribbed conservative Democratic Party will never run on popular positions in order to win if it means offending the oligarchs who hold their leashes. 

Teaching Trumptards Through Song


Paul LePage: Another Republican Probably Confused About Winning

Trump may have somewhat misrepresented what he meant by all the winning.  LePage is probably vexed right now.  How does winning work, asshole?  Thanks, Trump.

Wednesday, November 8, 2017

Yep, A Pretty Good Election Day

Some excellent victories, beautiful losses for the bad guys, and important lessons that the establishment Dems will fail to learn because they are neoliberal fuckfaces.  But that's for tomorrow.  Today was the day after a good day, so taking time to enjoy the suffering of your enemies and their horrible racist reactionary followers is certainly a good thing. 

Larry Krasner Is A Winner

And now he's the DA in Philadelphia.  That's winning!  Winners winning!  Thanks, Trump!  I'm not sure this is what Trump and Bannon and Steven Miller had in mind, though.  Taking leftist and progressive candidates everywhere and turning them into winners sounds like it might be damaging to the neo-fascist GOP Trumptard MAGA program.  But what do I know.  Winning!

Trump Should Ask Wilmot Collins In Helena If He's Sick Of All The Winning

Wilmot Collins is probably not sick of all the winning!  He's no Ed Gillespie, though.  Nope, Collins is an actual winner.  I wonder if Wilmot Collins is the sort of candidate Trump and Bannon had in mind for all the winning?  Thanks, Trump!

Ravi Bhalla, Sick Of Winning? Nope, Probably Not!

Hoboken, NJ, home of Yo La Tengo, did a solid for America by electing a man named Ravi Bhalla as mayor.  Mayor-elect Bhalla is probably very nice, but he will also be helping make America greater again for reals by driving racist assholes and other bigoted cocksuckers crazy because he is a Sikh and wears a turban and beard.  That's fucking awesome, because the neo-Nazi faggots and other Trumptards are not gonna handle that real well.  Bhalla's victory party was held a Moran's Pub, so Mayor-elect Bhalla surely is a skilled politician. 

Danica Roem Is Not Tired Of All The Winning! Actual Winning!!

Fucking beautiful.  The first practicing metalhead in Virginia politics also happens to be a trans woman.  Can this get any better?  How many teabaggers, hateful christian fuckfaces, and other bigots had strokes in the last 24 hours?  However many it was not enough.  How's homophobic shitstain Bob Marshall enjoying all the winning?  Seriously, THANKS, TRUMP!

Are New Jersey Republicans Sick Of All The Winning Yet? Kim Duadagno?

Winning? MAGA?  Kim Duadagno might be a little mistaken about what winning is, along with the rest of the NJ GOP.  Thanks, Trump.

Remember A Coupla Years Ago When The Media And Their Neocon Butt Buddies Said De Blasio Could Never Be Reelected? WINNING! MAGA!!

Brainless reactionary fucksticks like the NY Post editorial board and Fox "News" and every right-wing racist cockbag on the radio and interwebs said the anti-cop anti-business anti-white Bill de Blasio would never win a second term in that vile cesspool of liberalism and wealth Jew York City.  So, winning?  MAGA?  Are we sick of too much winning yet, boys?  Thanks, Trump.

When Will Ed Gillespie Get Sick Of All The Winning?

MAGA?  When do we get the winning, Trump?  Gillespie looked a little sick last night.  Was he sick of winning?  All of it?  Sick?  Winning?  Sick?  Not sure, but thanks again, Trump.

This Is What A Scared-Shitless Teabagger Looks Like: Brett Mac

Bed-wetting beta cuck from some closet-case teabagging stroke club sounds absolutely terrified.  Rock the fuck on, DSA!

And thanks, Trump!

Monday, November 6, 2017

Thrivin'


Now We Can All See That Donna Brazile Has Always Been A Performance Art Project

Donna Brazile has been the work of a brilliant artist, a satire of a nakedly political hollow person, without principle or loyalty.  Now that the Brazile character is being retired, the genius artist will finally be able to get the credit they deserve.

America's Beloved Queen And Hero To All Juli Briskman Has No Regrets

Turns out she worked for a bunch of mental-defective Trumptard cocksuckers.  But not any more.  Now she's free to light the path to freedom for all true Americans.  Long live Queen Juli.

World Famous Token Piyush Jindal And The Federalist Deserve Each Other

Self-hating braindead squish and noted asshole Piyush Jindal and Ben Domenech's dumb little website deserve each other.  Jindal's a complete fuckwit who doesn't understand anything, and Domenech is a sad little plagiarist smearing his own shit on the wall and calling for praise from momma.  Piyush is even stupid enough to think that a super-majority of Americans don't support single-payer healthcare right now.  They do, but somehow that's good for Republicans.  Genius!  Piyush Jindal is a fucking genius!

Basherin'


Sunday, November 5, 2017

Devin Patrick Kelley: Another Beautiful Freedom-Loving Exceptional Constitutional Patriot Exercising His Second Amendment Rights--MAGA! MAGA!! MMAAAGGGGAAAAA!!!

A beautiful patriot, a real man, who loved America and freedumb, Kelley did so much today to help make America greater again!  Kelley was exactly the sort of exceptional, constitution-loving warrior who was always ready to fight along side the rest of the brave racist GOP murderers and other guntard pussies.  Thanks, Trump!

Apparently Joy Reid Is A Harvard Graduate, Just Like Jared Kushner

Exactly like Jared Kushner.  Another fabulously entertaining drive-by auto-fisking from a fucking inane neoliberal ass-clown establishment Dem who should delete their fucking account.

Saturday, November 4, 2017

A Sebadoh


Useful Sam Harris Drive-By Fisking

But for his mother's tee vee money, Sam Harris would be squatting in a puddle eating worms wearing nothing besides a threadbare Mr. Bubble t-shirt and some grimy tube socks.  He's a dickless dickhead, but even worse, he's a brainless racist shitbrain.  Thanks, Trump.

Friday, November 3, 2017

Tree'd


After The Antifa EMP, We Will Gather Up The Teabaggers For Permanent Removal

Christians and other teabagging right-wing fuckers like this dipshit will be rounded up by our Antifa ninja commandos so that we can deport them Mexico.  Sorry Mexico.  But after tomorrow, Antifa will begin to cleanse the nation, eventually leaving only the good folks who can think and read and tie their own shoes.  Antifa is only the start.  They are