Monday, October 16, 2017

Victor Davis Hanson Is A Brain-Dead Fucktard's Idea Of What A Cretinous Idiot Sounds Like

There are paving stones with more cogent analyses than Victor Davis Hanson, but the one thing that the execrable retard right-wing establishment does well is support their syphilitic racist shitheads and other loathsome scumbags with wing-nut welfare sinecures.  If not for the reactionary welfare, Hanson would be eating the bugs out of clumps of week-old dog shit.

What The Fuck Are US Troops Doing In Niger

Or as Fox "News" would call it: Nigger.  Anywho, why the fuck aren't our illustrious media stars talking about this shit and asking lots of questions?  How many Americans know what Niger is?  Who tried to explain to that retarded shitgibbon Trump the difference between Niger and Nigeria?

In The Timecop Movie, How Did They Get Back Into The Rocket Sled Thing For The Return Trip

They go out inside a rocket sled but get dumped into the past sans any sort of vehicle, and on the return trip they walk through an FX ripple but somehow wind up back in the rocket sled to go back to HQ.  How the fuck does that work?  Where is the rocket sled while they are in the past?  Is it open or closed?  These might be the most important questions in the last 150 years, but we have no answers.  Thanks, Trump.

Shitting On John Lackey Will Never Not Make America Greater Again

Hapless pitching goon John Lackey is something so obviously wrong that all America suffers for it.  Lackey's life is Trump's exceptional America manifest for the baseball tee vee.  The only hope we have is to shit all over him at every possible opportunity.  Thanks, Trump.

Hyper Enough Spores


The Spore Drive Is Easily The Dumbest Star Trek Concept Ever

Spores?  Throughout the galaxy.  A complex living creature created the galaxy?  The universe?  Energy?  That's fucking stupid.  Why are the spores just in this galaxy?  Replacing dark matter and quantum entanglement with an evolved living species is beyond inane.  Jump drive/new Battlestar Galactica-type FTL just doesn't fit with the bullshit techo-nonsense of the ST universe.  Why bother making this if you are going to make it way fucking dumber than stuff that came before?  Probably because Star Trek is run by fucking shitheads now, bigger shitheads than ever, but still.

Ladies And Gentlemen, The Fabulous Panty Stain


Thursday, October 12, 2017

Sequel 2


The...Yankees Win

Ok, then.  Nice late AB from Gardner, and Gregorius needs to be rhymed with glorious, euphorious, and Pastorius.  The Astros should probably take care of the Yanks pretty easily, but if they stay hot and get some big hits from Judge, well...

Tuesday, October 10, 2017

Saturday, October 7, 2017

Bowled Over


Life-Long Democrat Or Not, There's A Place At The Whitehouse For Harvey Weinstein

He's a Trump kinda guy.  Gross old man, helpless young women, degrading sex--hell, we might find out the the Weinstein Company produced Trump's piss tape!

Girardi Was Always A Doofus

But when he fucks up in the second game in a 5-game series, well, you notice it.  That's not anything new for Girardi, though, who has always been a company yes-man first and a manager second.  His value is not delivering championships at every possible opportunity.  Obviously. 

Muddle-Headed Twits Are America's Worst Entertainment Value

They don't know what they don't know, but you should not care.  Trek, though, jesus.  Some of the bikes might be okay, but seriously fuck them.  Speshy, too.  Cannondale always does something to fuck up their bikes like the stupid 1-inch seatposts on the CAAD12 frames and shit.  But the twits are dipshits.

Thursday, October 5, 2017

Baron Von Trumfio's Time Tunnel


Pats And Bucs, Can't They Both Lose

Fancy dog dimwit Trump fan or serial rapist?  Shouldn't jeebus be cleansing them with fire?

Red Sox Lose Bigly!

That's good!  The Sox must love America bigly.  MAGA!

America Was Already Greater Again


Dump Trump! Tim Murphy For President!

The GOP needs a real man--not a half-wit like Trump or a closet-case pussy like Pence--and Tim Murphy is that man!  He fucks crazy sluts!  He breaks up marriages!  He loves abortion!  He's a beautiful brave patriot who can truly make America greater again!  Fuck yeah!

Joba Chamberlain! Yeah, Bye.

Exceptional American waste of space.  Chamberlain was never going to be a great Yankee.  And he wasn't.

Wednesday, October 4, 2017

Talking Generals


Remove That Rancid Shithead Steve Scalise From Congress And Replace Him With Caleb Keeter

Caleb Keeter has more sense than all the guntard assholes in America put together, and that's way more than that fucking pathetic idiot Steve Scalise.  Put Keeter in Congress.  Put him on the Supreme Court.  Elect him President.  Something.  He's the only (former) guntard fuckface smart enough to live in a civilized society. 

The Yankees Bullpen Is Good

And Aaron Judge is hitting--or was last night, at least.  I mean, everyone should want the Yanks over the fucking Twins, anyway.

What The Fuck Was Up With That Idiot Trump Throwing Paper Towels?

Jesus, Trump is a weird little dimwit.  Who is his handler?  Why would you let any president act so pathetically in public?  That's mal-fucking-practice by Trump's staff.  Somebody needs to stop that shit before it happens.  What's next, Trump's gonna pick his nose and eat it in front of the world media?  I guess Trump is happy that he's more of an embarrassing fucktard than even George W. "Retardboy" Bush.  It's his only accomplishment. 

Monday, October 2, 2017

Girls Go On


Life Goes On


History Calls To A Beautiful Brave Exceptional Patriot Who Will Be The First To Kill 100 With A Gun In A Single Shooting

Who will set the record?  Who will make America so much fucking greater when they move the mass-shooting bar to 100+ people who hate freedom and don't properly love the Constitution?  How soon can that beautiful, exceptional patriot accomplish this important goal?  Please, jesus, help us make American mass-shootings greater and greater!

Winning Bigly In Spain!

Spain must have a Trump in charge!  Spain is not sick of all the winning, either!  Spain knew just how to handle that Catalonia issue.  Fucking genius.  The Trump doctrine spreads all over the world.  Make Spain greater again, too!

Upper Class Serotta Forum Twits = Free Dumb

Whata buncha pussies.  A few of the semi-decent sane-ish twits try to inject a little reality, and the chief manlet gets all jumpy and shuts it down.  Let's just pray for the victims.  That'll help.  Prayer.  Good idea.  Vile fuckers.

Massive And Exceptional Eruption Of Freedom And Love For The Constitution In Las Vegas

Praise jesus that there are still people out there who love America and freedom and the Constitution.  America is the only place in the world where good people who truly are free can express their love of freedom the way jesus intended.  An exceptional display of American freedom by a beautiful white man is about the most amazing thing any patriot will ever see.  True christian patriots all around America are overjoyed when love of freedom and the 2nd Amendment come together in glorious expressions of American exceptionalism.  MAGA!

Sunday, October 1, 2017

Punk Dads Getting It Done In Their Dotage


Young And Live


Finally, OJ Can Find The Real Killer

OJ will be winning bigly in 2017 just like Trump!  2017 is the year of winning bigly for Trump and OJ!

Winning Bigly With San Juan's Own Carmen Yulin Cruz

Is she tired of winning bigly with Trump?  Are we all sick of winning yet?  When, exactly, will we all get sick of this winning shit?

Choose Gif


Fuckface Teabagging Simpletons Shall Always Be With Us

No matter what they say.  Racist shithead teabaggers and violent guntard Republicans are a cancer America will never cure in our lifetime.

Winning Bigly With Trump In Puerto Rico

The master negotiator and business genius never gets tired of winning!  Make golf great again!  Trump!

Jesus Frakking Christ, The Twits Never Fail To Suck AND Blow

Grrrr...we're alpha twits! Grrrrr, we're so fucking awesome.  Or something.  But seriously, the upper class is a bunch of fucking dipshits, way too stupid to defend themselves against logic and reason.  Or reading. 

Takers


Saturday, September 30, 2017

Kooler


It's Official: The Orville Is Better Than Star Trek Discovery

STD looks amazing, but it's not Star TrekThe Orville, on the other hand, has the perfect amount of TNG-era retro cheese to be really fucking fun.  Discovery is insultingly dumb if it's supposed to be a Star Trek show.  Almost like the people who made it were fucking nimrods.

Winning Bigly With Chomp The Wonder Beaver

Dnovo on the warpath!  And to think the twits thought he was dead...

Friday, September 29, 2017

Winning Bigly With Tom Price! Soon To Be Winning Bigly With Ryan Zinke, Too Probably!!

Tom Price just might be sick of all the winning!  MAGA!  Price gave up a promising career as an evil shitstain to join Trump.  How'd that work out for him?  Repeal and replace!  MAGA!  I'd imagine Ryan Zinke will soon enjoy some bigly winning any time now.  This is some fun shit.  Trump wasn't simply content to kill the Republican Party with his petty fascism and preening incompetence, no, he needed to chop the whole fucking GOP into chunks and fuck the bloody viscera when he was finished with the skull holes...

Thursday, September 28, 2017

Ruma


Unexpectedly Entertaining Rick Pitino News

Heh, indeedy.  Maybe this will be the start of the wholesale collapse of the NCAA scam.  Pretty fucking amazing that a guy like Pitino could be filleted so publicly.  Usually these big-time sports assholes are untouchable.  This is something actually making America a tiny bit better.  Who knew?

The GOP's Dreams


Friday, September 22, 2017

Inbetween Day


4 Me


Ben Domenech And His Plargiarist Playground Are Just Making Shit Up On Health Care, Too

Some bubble-headed baby factory just happens to be a conservative because she grew up with Medicaid coverage?  Cool story, Ben.  I love how you just make shit up, Ben.  You have a great imagination there, Domenech.  You got a real future in fiction.  Keep it up. 

Bernie Would Have Won--This Is The Man The Dems Are So Scared Of

Getting some very positive coverage for his long-time foreign policy positions.  Fine, just fine.  But never forget the Dems were not willing to move a millimeter to left in order to defeat Trump and the other vile racist Republican scum.  Clinton and the Dems were so scared of Sanders...

No, THIS Is The Ugliest Bike Ever

If that fucking JB paint cost $1200 well, then, JB is evil and anyone dumb enough to pay for it should by all accounts be too stupid to remember to breath most days.  Fucking nasty.  If your bike has to look like that so you can ride it, please don't.


Thursday, September 21, 2017

This Is The Least Heteronormative Artifact In Recorded History


Spaceman Faceman


Atrios Gets Kimmell, Atmo

Kimmell's sort of an unfunny, no-talent hack and douche friend of the execrable Adam Carolla and always will be, probably, but Sr. Duncan Black gets it just right when he says Kimmell is using his platform to fuck with Republicans--and that's is excellent.  The GOP has no problem with utterly destroying the already wretched health care infrastructure in this country, so a tee vee guy fucking up their bullshit is undoubtedly helpful. 

Cops Are Too Stupid And Cowardly To Be Trusted With Guns

Disarm the police!  It's long past time for the USA to follow the lead of more civilized nations and take the guns away from the cops.  Most police officers are not brave or intelligent enough to be trusted with firearms in their routine police work.  Save lives.  Take the guns.

Monday, September 18, 2017

Love Doll


Charles Payne, Ruh Roh

What's it gonna take to get that piece of shit off the air and in jail where he belongs?  Regardless, this is an important escalation in the war on Fox "News" so if nothing else we all should be happy about that particular facet of this horrible story.  Payne was clearly at least as big a piece of shit as Ailes, O'Reilly, and father of the year runner-up Eric Bolling.  As a matter of fact, Payne fits right in with the most favorite Fox "News" blahs like Herman Caine and Bill Cosby and Clarence "Uncle" Thomas.  Family values, fuck yeah...

Sunday, September 17, 2017

Forever War


How Fucking Low Are You When, Like Ta-Nehisi Coates, Even Josh Marshall Can Figure Out You're A Dipshit

Marshall ain't exactly the sharpest knife on the christmas tree or the brightest bulb in the picnic basket, but even he can see, and more importantly and interestingly is willing to say in public if even in the most tepid, cowardly fashion imaginable, what has been clear for a long time: Ta-Nehisi Coates is shallow and full of shit.  The rock-ribbed reactionary political/media establishment picks winners and anoints certain individuals--often inbred, upper-class zeroes with impeccable connections like, say, a George Packer, or striving shameless boot-lickers like Marcos Moulitsas--with influence and relevance not in spite of but mostly because they are facile idiots who are not capable of any truly dangerous thoughts or possessing of any remarkable talents.  Coates is one of those guys, black division.  Hey, it's great work that pays amazingly well, and Marshall's been lugging that piss bucket around for fucking decades himself, but when Josh Marshall pegs you as a clown, well, delete you account, fuckface.

Gods Damn The Twits Now And 4Evah, Amens

The stench of privilege and the wrank ignorance of the fuckface Serotta twits are unbounded.  Fuck, the USA is doomed.

Friday, September 15, 2017

Meanwhile, It's Been A Fun Coupla Days For The Breitbart Assholes

You fucked up. You trusted us.  Heh, indeedy.  This is good shit.  Those poor racist bagger shitbirds are all butthurt and crying because Trump has about as much loyalty to them as he's ever had to any of his underlings.  Fucking loverly. 

Thursday, September 14, 2017

Armando Llorens Is Undoubtedly The Dumbest Motherfucker On Earth--Way More Crazy And Stupid Than Even Al Giordano

What a fucking nincompoop.  Hillary was shit.  Her debates were shit.  Armando and his big tent are full of shit.  And as someone noticed, THAT FUCKING ASSHOLE HILLARY LOST TO DONALD FUCKING TRUMP!  I'd imagine if you hire Llorens as your attorney, you feel wonderful about his sparkling intellect, incisive judgement, and winning history.  Whoever is lapping up the piss at Daily Kos is certainly not sick of winning yet.  Jesus, Hillary's people are fucking pond scum.  A vile neoliberal shitstain like Llorens should just go full-on ocean-going fucktard and start making flat Earth and moon landing hoax videos.  That'd be more useful than what he's done with his life so far.

Never Far Away


Oh, No, Grant Hart, Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck

FUCK.  This is fucking awful.  Because reasons, Bob Mould has become one of the major American song writers, but Mould and so many others would not be who and what they are without Grant Hart.  That motherfucker shoulda lived to be a thousand fucking years old so that he could have gone on being Grant Hart when we needed him most.  This loss cuts deeper than many will know...

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Ted Cruz Yanks It To Mommy Porn With An Actress Who Looks Like A Prettier Version Of His Wife

That's not creepy or anything.  I wonder if he liked the part with the "stepmom" "incest"  the best?  Good times never end for family values Republicans.  Praise jesus.

Disney Will Make Damn Sure There's Never Another Good Star Wars Movie

Empire was it, kids.  Abrams is the absolute worst choice, because of course they had to pick the saddest no-talent hack in all of entertainment.  Of course.  Seth MacFarlane would have been a better choice.  Hell, even Opie would have squeezed his few drops of talent into it guaranteeing professional workmanlike boring film-ish product.  Jesus.

Monday, September 11, 2017

'The Orville' Is Pretty Fucking Good

For what it is, which is big-budget Star Trek: The Next Generation fanfic.  The show looks good, and it hits shitloads of the ST:TNG notes for better or worse.  Seth MacFarlane's not getting any benefit of the doubt from any of the hopeless fanboy losers, even the ones who aren't boys, because, well, he's that offensive low-brow sexist bastard Seth MacFarlane, and he's getting to live the ultimate dream, namely being the Captain of a starship.  Of course all the shitheads trashing the show are jelly as fuck.  Is the show great?  Nope.  But it's okay, and way better than it should be.  Much of TNG was fucking awful, too--and not just the first few episodes--but nobody remembers that now or is willing to admit it, anyway.

Jesus Fucking Christ, Jerry Pournelle Was A Vile Reactionary Piece Of Shit, A Less Talented Heinlein And Without The Creepy 'Charm'

Pournelle wrote a few major SF works with Larry Niven--who is also problematic as hell--but Pournelle was neither a great writer or very intelligent.  He was a narrow-minded and simple-minded disgusting fascist, though, so there's that.  Hell, Niven looks positively clever and sane compared to Pournelle, and nobody on the planet should be singing his praises now that he's dead.  Heinlein shared many loathsome characteristics with Pournelle, but at least Heinlein had the excuse of being an addle-headed sex pervert, so that made him amusing in a sick sort of way at times.

The Lowest Scum Of The Earth Are Fundamentalist Catholics

They are the face of true evil in the world.  Yes, it's fun to point and laugh at their insanity, but these creepy perverts and fools do real harm for too many poor and ignorant people around the world.  Until this dread disease of ignorance, superstition, and bigoted hatred is obliterated, all hope for progress will be in vain.  In that way it is too bad that the evil men who imagine such a wretched and petty god are free to poison our society. 

Thursday, September 7, 2017

Goin'


Lee Papa Shows What's Wrong With Dems, Again

If mundane centrist and center-right establishment Dems can't see what is so fucking disgusting about Peter Daou, well, they really can't be trusted with much, can they?  Clinton fucked up mightily for decades, but her latest fuck-up in endorsing Daou's gay little neoliberal shitpost site is as bad as anything she's ever done.  SHE lost to Trump, needing the support of entire cadre of imbeciles and the wealth of the Democratic Party to undo the man who would have won.  Had she done what was best for her party, her voters, and her country, SHE would have worked to help Sanders defeat Trump with such fury that the House and Senate would not be as horrible as they are now.  THAT would have been the work of a true patriot and loyal Democrat.  Funny that she wasn't willing to that and that she and her supporters like Papa were willing to lose to Trump rather than support anyone even 1cm to the left.  Better to lose to Trump than to win with Sanders is the only rule for fools like Daou.  And unfortunately Papa.

Every Exceptional American Rugged Bootstrappin' School Lunch Should Be Included, But Good On NYC

Helping to rocket American society into the 20th century!  It's about time the somewhat decent political folks out there started advocating for common sense, and de Blasio should be credited with joining that elite group.  Even better than food for kids just as good as food for kids is that shit like this drives the Randian fuckstains absolutely fucking insane.  Heh, indeed.

Monday, September 4, 2017

Tyler Perry Is The Nastiest No-Talent Unfunny Motherfucker On The Fucking Planet

Perry is a fucking cancer on our humanity.  Of course he sucks Joel Osteen's cock.  Of course.  Remember when he was in the execrable J.J. Abrams Star Trek movie and somehow made it even worse?  Fuck that loathsome cocksucker.

Vile Teabagging Nazi Shitheads Never Sleep

If jesus fucking christ truly loves us, the day when these disgusting fascists get flushed into the cesspool of history is close, very close.  Soon our people will be busy in the joyous labour of finishing the job of killing all the Nazis.

Friday, September 1, 2017

The Proles Don't Get Harvard No Matter What The Numbers

True legacy admits are only one of many discrete classes of advantaged individuals admitted to elite colleges/universities--and elite boarding schools as well.  Legacy is a big one.  Jared Kushner-style fathers are another.  Athlete.  Geographic diversity.  Other diversities.  Other other diversities.  Ability to pay.  If you think your smart, hard-working, A+ kid from anodyne, middle-class public middle school or public high school simply is competing for one of the total number of admits Yale or Harvard or St. Paul's or Exeter are handing out this year, you're fucking high.  There are maybe ten mundane A+ average/1500+ SAT type admits a year to schools like Harvard and Yale, with the elite boarding high schools very similar.  Math sez your kid ain't gettin' one.  Those places are not for the likes of you.  Statistically. 

Thursday, August 31, 2017

Daisychains, Pixies, And Steve Albini

Nobody With A Brain Would Trust Kamala Harris, But She Knows She Needs To Make The Right Noises

Harris is a neoliberal fuckwad, but pressure from the left has forced her to do something she would not normally have done.  That's good.  Very good.  I think the days of lefty-ish Dems and other lefty or left voters voting for the right-wing establishment Dems just because are over.  I hope so.  Nobody left of center should ever vote for any candidate who doesn't agree with their personal political priorities.  Healthcare, abortion rights, voting rights, economic rights matter, so let's see the Dems and their buddies force their candidates to support those priorities.  Welcome to the party, pals.

Trump Deserves That Uncle Tom Cocksucker David Clarke

They can suck each other's dicks.  Clarke is the perfect sort of loathsome shitstain to fit right in with the rest of the scumbags in Trump's circus.  It's about time Trump hired Herman Cain, too!

I Hope Some Good-Hearted Texan Has A Bullet For Every One Of Those Proud Boy Candyasses

Do somethin' good for once Texas, and take out the trash.  Or at least jesus could make sure they slip and drown in the seething toxic shit-water for our enjoyment.

Sweet Frakking Jeebus, The New Star Trek Web Show Looks Wretched

So much fail.  There's only like 11 people in the whole Federation, so of course the woman would be raised by Sarek.  It makes sense.  He's the only fucking Vulcan.  The ships and technology look far in advance of TNG, so that makes perfect sense too since it's a decade before JTK takes command of the Enterprise for the first time.  Jesus.  Abortion.  At least Seth MacFarlane can't possibly fuck up The Orville this badly.

EE Brakes Are The Latest Proof That Cyclists Are The Dumbest People

Considering how well modern road bike caliper brakes work--along with how perfectly useful brakes were already in the 80s and 90s even if they didn't have the light touch they do now--and how light they are for the performance you get, the only to use anything as brutally ugly and ungainly as these turds is because you are a complete fucking vapid twit with way more money than good taste or sense of shame.  There's nothing to be gained unless you a complete deluded fool.  A toddler locked in a squalid room with only a few chewed Lincoln Logs, rat bones, and a Hefty bag full of trash could make something that looks finished and elegant than that fucking shit show.  The sole reason twits and their ilk buy these things is to show how much disposable income they have and as an accidental signal to the decent folks out there that marginal tax rates are way too fucking low.  Heinous. 


Dying To Preserve Capitalism, Oligarchy, And Plutocracy

Literally dying.  Because Dems have worked tirelessly night and day for 70 years to preserve the for-profit health insurance industry.  Because the wealth of one thousand Americans is more important to the government than the lives of the other 323 million.  Because those thousand Americans use their resources to maintain a system which serves only their needs.  Because the USA is a rancid, diseased society.

If Not For My Stranglehold On The Award, Cobb County's Lt. Greg Abbott Would Be The Republican Man Of The Year

Beautiful!  I can certainly see what officer numbnuts was trying to do, but as a white cop in Cobb Fucking County, GA, you gotta know how that shit's gonna sound on the tee vee.  Ooops.  Racist cop looks like a complete fucking stooge on his own dashcam.  Exceptional!

BLUE LIVES MATTER

ALL LIVES MATTER

BLACKS ARE THE REAL RACISTS

THUGS

Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Now Serving Then


Reminder: Josh Marshall = Entry-Level Village Idiot

Boostin' mah signal, mon, cuz the truth is still duh troof.

If You Are So Fucking Stupid That You Don't Believe Rockets Will Work In Space, Please Kill Yourself

Right. Fucking. Now.  Jesus frakking christie, how fucking obtuse do you need to be to not be able to understand that rockets will work better in a vacuum or the near-vacuum conditions in space?  Seriously, it's like middle-school science shit.  Basic.  Issac Newton.  There's not a physicist on the planet who doesn't understand how rockets work in space.  It's beyond inanity to think that rockets need air pressure to push against so that Newton's 3rd Law can work.  That makes no fucking sense.  Air pressure?  Damn, that's some titanic simple-mindedness.  It's not physics, that's for sure.  These idiots are too stupid to live.  Fuck.

In A World Full Of Nasty, Over-Privileged Twits

The guillotine will be king.  Jesus.  I guess that's why Sacha White is a brand maven and not a bike builder, atmo.  Twits with money make the world a very shitty place.

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

Slackers Can Cover It For You Wholesale, Motherfuckers


I'm Shocked, SHOCKED, That Texas Has Its Hand Out For Federal Welfare Money Like A Gay Little Commie Libtard State

Those boostrapping fucks should be rugged individualising themselves outa that flood shit on their own and not looking for the gubbmint to come in and waste money on socialized disaster relief.  I guess Texas is full of welfare queens and other queers.  Weird how that works. 

Archival Fisking Of SPLC And Morris Dees

Dees nutz.  An archival fisking, but not from like decades ago or anything.  The SPLC is Cockburn and St. Clair's very own Mother Teresa.  I read the referenced Harper's article when it came out, and it was also a brutal fisking of Dees and his organization.  The age of Trump must be a bonanza for those fuckers and their ilk.

With Luck, Miserable TV Cocksucker Tom Llamas Has Already Filed For Unemployment

Really, it would be such a shame if Llamas were to suffer some sort of tragic accident while covering this story.  Truly.  Just awful.  If ABC has the good sense to fire him, I'm sure he can get a job sucking Ted Cruz's dick on weekends.

Sunday, August 27, 2017

Tenement Day


Even After Years, This Post And The Comment Thread Are My Spirit Animal Lots Of The Time

Heh, indeedy.  Does Enve even make those rims anymore?  I guess the downhill wheels are different but still stupidly expensive. Their stuff is mostly ugly, still, too.  The seatpost especially is very nasty.

It's also fun to note that the Pinkbike idiots don't come across as smarmy, vapid douchenozzles they way the twits at a certain Serotta Forum do.  Blame Canada?

I Hope Charles Thompson Lights A Candle Every Day

To some random, made-up god of good timing and weird little pop songs.  After time in the wilderness, Thompson and the remaining Pixies are able to pad their retirements with the least amount of effort possible.  Fortune looks exactly like being good enough decades after you were done doing anything new.  That's a kind of genius.  And I'm sure the other two guys, especially the drummer, are wicked fucking psyched how it all worked out in the end.

(As always, too bad there wasn't room for another real member in the band, tho.  Shattuck is not a foreboding musical innovator or anything, but as a songwriter and vocalist and band leader with a history of doing solid, enjoyable work in The Muffs, she might have been able to drag the old guys around into some interesting spaces.  Maybe.  Or not.  Regardless, the geezers were not up it.)

Saturday, August 26, 2017

This You Been Exposed Guy Might Be The Dumbest Motherfucker On The Planet

Eclipse proves flat Earth.  Rockets can't function in space.  What???? Don't fucking tell Issac Newton, asshole!  9/11 truthin'.  Seriously, this poor bastard is fucking stoo-pidd. 


Sage Steele Has Been Fucking Awful For Fucking Ever

Sage Steele has been a species low-point for way too long.  ESPN has always had trouble finding people who were not walking clownshows once they got past the few big, dominant stars.  Steele is perfect for the fuckhead contingent who loves sports news television, I guess.  Jesus.

Unnnnnnnnn


After Arpaio, That Idiot Trump Had Better Hope He Never Needs The Benefit Of The Doubt From A Federal Judge

Why would a hapless buffoon and low-rent scumbag like Trump ever need the kindness of a federal judge?  That's just silly.  It was a much better idea to make his racist shitbag teabaggers happy with the Arpaio stunt after firing Gruppenfuher Gorka.

Friday, August 25, 2017

We Can Lipsync It For You Wholesale


How The Fuck Is This NASA Climate Change Website Still Up?

Why hasn't renowned scientitian Donald J Trump shut that fake news shit down?  IT'S A CONSPIRACY JEWS LIZARD PEOPLE CRISIS ACTORS FALSE FLAG JADE HELM CROP CIRCLE FLUORIDE NEW WORLD ORDER FLAT EARTH MOON LANDING HOAX GOLD STANDARD ILLUMINATI FREE MASONS DEEP STATE UNITED NATIONS

Trump Should Shitcan Pence And Make The Martin Luther Coon Guy Vice President

You know Trump wants this racist old bastard to touch his tiny weiner.  This racist grandpa is the kind of old guy Trump wishes had been his creepy perv uncle.  This fucker is much better than boring old Pence.  Pence sucks compared to that Martin Luther Coon dickhead.

Boomboom


Boomb



Thursday, August 24, 2017

It's Only Right And Natural That The Violence We Spread Around The World Comes Back To Us At Home

The USA has always been all about the fascists and dictators and torturers and lunatics, so nobody in their right minds would be surprised when the vile right-wing scum bring their violence and hatred back to our exceptional homeland America.  Our glorious christian empire is so much more than the world's most brutal terrorist--our racist empire is also a cancer in the exceptional American asshole.

Wednesday, August 23, 2017

Watt Choo Choo

Best use of Eddie Vedder ever.


This Is The End For The A.V. Club, Right

Being subsumed by the gossip kids, losing their unique site design look, this is curtains for the The A.V. Club.  Everything they do is already done at least twice on the mess of gossip kids sub-sites; they don't have anything to offer, especially now that they look like the rest of the group.  It won't be long now till all that's left will be a tag.  Nothing will be left for The Onion to take back.

Peter Beinart Gurgles The Piss With The Best Of Them

Beinart and sparkling intellect don't go together, but as long as he can collect a check propping up the hard-rightwing neoliberal DC establishment, he's happier than the other pissboys.  Antifa is not the problem, especially since the violent ones are 100% FBI.

Jesus Freaks Are Not Scientists

Or even scientitians.  The fundy churches might as well take the Koch-sucking money since they're too stupid to do anything else.  It should not be a shock to anyone that christians decided that it was better to take the money and deny reality in another fashion. 

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

Fire Dos


For Fuck's Sake, Make Sure Your Retirement Funds Are Invested In Guillotines!

Guillotines are THE growth sector for the future.  We're gonna need so many fucking guillotines.  So make sure you put all your investments in the guillotine industry.  Louise Linton won't even be anywhere NEAR the front of the line, either.

Another Karmic Victory For Freddie DeBoer: Sady Doyle And Her Ilk Are Fatuous Losers

Sady Doyle made a name for herself by making fun of FdB, but after Doyle and her buddies decided to go all-in against Sanders during the primaries with a comically inept, anti-feminist and racist bullshit narrative regarding Sanders and his supporters on behalf of and at the behest of screamingly incompetent, neoliberal shitstain Hillary Clinton--the candidate who lost to Donald Trump--well, I think we can all see that no matter how little you think of FdB--or love him--deBoer has been shown to be an intellectual giant compared to the smug inanity of Doyle.  Funny how that all worked out.

No matter what, folks like Doyle always were and always will be shallow, impotent twits,  perfectly privileged nasty little pigs jostling to nose their way deeper into the bowels of the establishment.  What they did during the campaign proves this.  They must never be forgiven for their vile conduct.

There Ain't Too Many Things That Would Make You Side With Freddie DeBoer...

But the insufferable welfare academia pinheads are one!  Bank it.  DeBoer is usually pretty simplistic and pretty simple, and he gets off way too much on intentional alienation mostly because his skills are substandard, but the fucking dimwits like Lemieux and Loomis, along with their junior pissboys and pissgirls, are easily a billion fucking times more annoying and stupid than FdB.

For A Love Of Ed Wood

Not just the astoundingly rare good Tim Burton movie.  With bonus kicking of the disgusting Michael Medved and the execrable Silver Linings Playbook.  Nice.  The bad news is that for all the squares out there, Wood the preternaturally awful director is a more captivating narrative than Wood the endearingly odd but ultimately mediocre director. 

Monday, August 21, 2017

Tomboy


Eclipse Day Is A Bad Day To Be A Flat Earth Dipshit

They sound very small and frail around eclipse time.  Sad!



These poor folks are not well.


Karoli Kuns Is An All-American Right-Wing Democratic Idiot

Congrats!  You've earned your entry-level establishment Dem pay--and fully-operational piss bucket--by defending two of the rocked-ribbed neoliberal piss-carriers just above you on the food chain.  That gets you more than a pat on the head, I'm sure.  Maybe KK will lead the apology tour when all the wrong-headed Hillary voters go around the land and admit their wasted votes for that pathetic loser put Trump in office when they could have voted for a winner.  Bernie would have won!

Reading Comprehension Is Not A Big Thing With Racist Bigots And General Morons Like James Woods

But don't blame the cocaine!  Racists and bigots and ignorant fucks in general don't read good or talk proper or knows anything important, so we should not expect too much of them.  Chelsea Manning gets it, atmo.  She knows the score.

Sunday, August 20, 2017

Happy House


The ACLU Absolutely Should Refuse To Defend The Rights Of Guntard Terrorist Groups Including The NRA

The right to free speech should be absolute, but not the right to intimidate and kill with a gun.  Peeling away the rights of gun nuts to have guns outside of a constitutional scenario in a well-regulated militia is vital to destroying the culture of violence in the US.  Absolutely free speech for all.  And guns for (pretty much) nobody, including beat cops.  If the ACLU can lead on this, that would be the best news in a good long time.

Saturday, August 19, 2017

Merry Waiting


When You've Lost Scum Like Carl Icahn, You're Pretty Fucking Fucked

Carl Icahn is about as close to an anthropomorphized shit stain as we have on the planet right now, so when that wretched abomination decides he's had enough of you, you're toast.  Perennially friendless, the best Trump could do were these associates like Icahn, but Trump can clearly alienate anyone and everyone within a thousand kilometers.  Good job!  Thanks, Trump.

Friday, August 18, 2017

Thursday, August 17, 2017

Wholey Diver


Maybe Senators Corker, Flake, And Graham Finally See That Trump Has Murdered The GOP

Corker seems a bit bemused by the Trump presidency.  Pretty sure Corker was never mistaken for a genius award winner, but he seems downright fucking addled today.  Nice.  Flake and Graham got bitch-slapped by Trump as well, right out there in public where everyone could see.  This is clearly the way a dominant, healthy political party behaves at the peak of its influence and power.  Thanks, Trump!

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Earthly Deelite


Holy Shit Iceland Is An Advanced, Civilized Nation

To be on the verge of eradicating a horrible genetic birth defect like Down's Syndrome is remarkable and wonderful.  Every American should be ashamed that our society is so embarrassingly far behind a country like Iceland.  If science and medicine can prevent horrible suffering and wretched genetic conditions and advance the health of the population, jesus fucking christ that is the best fucking thing ever.  And if vile, backward, demented cunts like Sarah Palin hate it, that only makes it better.

No Thinking Allowed


Jesus Frakking Cristo, The Twits Are Maddening

How the fuck does this fool wipe his own ass?  Sure go ahead and have your money back months or years later.  Yeah, no problem.  You're cherry.  Jesus.  Over-privileged twits make life so trying--kinda makes you feel like the staffer that has to change Trump's shit-filled Mr. President brand big-boy diapers every 20 gods' damned minutes.

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Green Is


Suburban Lawns Made The Papers Once In the 21st Century

Who knew?  LA was already the 10th circle of hell by then.

A.J. Delgado Sings



Every Year A Few Decent, Hardworking Kids Probably Apply To Harvard Law And Don't Get In But A Vapid Two-Bit Whore Like A.J. Delgado Got In

There's not enough time left till the heat death of the universe to catalog all the vile brainless fuckfaces who graduated from Harvard Law, but at least now the world knows that a repulsive, mental-defective hypocrite like A.J. Delgado is one of 'em.  She was a just a simple catholic girl from a working class background who was getting rawdogged daily by a grotesque, chinless--and very married--fat fucking asswipe named Jason Miller and too stupid to use any birth control or get an abortion like anyone with an IQ in the double digits would have done.  Fabulous!  Now she's an unemployed single mom slut in Florida, and Miller is back to living his best life with his actual family!  Thanks, Trump.

Monday, August 14, 2017

Everybody Clean Up


Sweet Fucking Jesus, The Glorious Butthurt Of The Racist Manlet Cucks Because Some Good People Toppled One Of Their Slavery Monuments

The frail mewling of the Freepers is giving me a gods-damned chubbie, and it is fucking lovely!  Oh how wonderful their pathetic and impotent cries of cuck-rage are.  Finally decent people are tearing down the monuments to 20th century racist intimidation.  This is the best time in recent American history.  Thanks, Trump.

Punching Nazis Is Fun, But Trump Attacking McConnell Is Another Delicious Way Trump Is Murdering The GOP

Fun fucking stuff.  A few of the nasty GOP shitbirds could see the carnage coming when Trump began his campaign, but none of those manlet cucks could stop Trump from slaughtering their political party just for grins.  Yes, Trump is too fucking stupid to understand how politics works, but he wouldn't care anyway.  He's a clumsy murderer, but his victim was the entire Republican Party.  Heh, indeedy.  Thanks, Trump.

Jen Kirkman Will Never Recover From Her Risible Inanity

I mean, it's fun to laugh at the creepy fuckheads like Kirkman, but it's not nice.  Kirkman is a vile shithead, though.  Drug's are bad, mkay.

'300' Was Absolutely As Hideous As You Remember

That flick was almost indescribably awful, and it is nice to see some folks remember that at least.  Had Zack Snyder been a shit ton smarter and a way better director, it could have been a fuckload of fun, but instead we got a petty fascist shit show.  Thanks, Trump.

The Yankees Really Only Have One Job

No matter how good or how bad, first place or last, just beat the Sox and there's peace in the universe.  When you don't do that one job, you start to look like a fucking Trump kid, and people think about lots of uncomfortable questions.

Sunday, August 13, 2017

-0th Law


Unite The Right = Nazi = KKK = GOP = White Nationalist = Racist = Fascist = Mainstream Conservative = Trump Supporter

There's no meaningful distinction between any conservatives in the USA in 2017.  They're all the same.  They always were.  Some of them currently have more teeth and Ivy League degrees while some of them have more toes or extra webbing between their fingers, but they all believe the same dumb shit, and not a one of them is a decent human being.  Skull fuck all racist conservatives. 

'Half-Wit Saudi Prince' Is Probably The Best Description Of Ivanka Trump In History

That motherfucking brilliant anonymous Paki should immediately be conscripted to become the POTUS and serve out the remainder of Trump's term.  Half-wit Saudi prince.  Heh, indeedy.  Thanks, Trump.

Heather Heyer: True American Hero

No question.  Heather Heyer was a brave woman who died fighting fascism in the USA.  She's far more of a hero than any of those psycho murdering bed-wetting snipers the right-wing loves so fucking much.