If You Eliminate Private Schools, How Will Children Catch Herpes At Choate Or Get Raped At St. Paul's?

Won't anyone think of the Chuck Timlins and Chip Lowerys And Adam Hardejs of the world?  All they want to do is touch the teenager girls.  What about all those boys who got diddled at Deerfield?  It was a tradition!  Private schools are important.  There are plenty of shitheaded parents with too much money who think they are buying their way into the aristocracy but in reality need their taxes raised by at least a metric fuck ton.  And there are around 5% of the students at any elite private school who are really fucking smart and hardworking.  That's racing.