Those Stupid Killer Whales Are Pretty Frikkin' Cool

Them cranky old ladies gettin' it done.  We should help those dumb fishes out by putting each one in an individual above-ground pool at a theme park.  They'd probably like that shit.

Free The Giant Dolphins

An absolute atrocity.  The orca has been tortured for fifty gods-damned years.  Humanity was a grave mistake.  But it's time we freed the big black and white dolphins everywhere.  Or hope they invent the orca shotgun this week and do it themselves.  Tokitae deserves freedom, and her species is an intelligent one and an important component of a healthy world.  Rena Priest in High Country News.

Brave Freedom Fighter Tilikum Has Died

There are very few real heroes, but this dolphin was one.  Tilikum fought the best fight he could, and delivered some real victories against his oppressors.  The world lost one of the good ones.  He deserved freedom, but he never gave up the fight against evil.

The Great Hero And Freedom Fighter Tilikum Is Dying

It's a sad time for everyone who loves freedom.  Tilikum did more during his life to fight for freedom everywhere than most people do, and he's a fucking dolphin.  We will all miss him, and we should all be sad when he is gone, for we will not see the likes of him again.  Tilikum was robbed of his life and his freedom, but he learned and he fought back.  Because of him, many of his kind will live free in their natural environment, living the true life he never had a chance to experience.  He's a hero.  He will be mourned, but with the grace of all the gods in all the hells, never forgotten.

Free Tilikum, The Movie

Tilikum and his peeps look like they're getting some good publicity in the new film Blackfish.  SeaWorld is doing their best to stop it, which would suck.  The killer whales deserve better than the treatment they currently receive. 

(via)

leave the poor animals alone

please.  no good can come of randomly fucking with animals in their natural environment--or anywhere else.  it's a tragedy for this woman and her family, but a completely unnecessary tragedy.  it is sad for all of us that we have to keep learning the lesson of that dim-witted clown steve irwin over and over.

all killer, no filler

so, last year when tilikum, the orca moral equivalent of our founding fathers, bagged #3, my then five year old daughter came up with an idea that might give captive orcas enough fun in captivity to stop murdering humans.  her idea was to take about 300 live penguins and drop them from a helicopter into the big orca tank a couple of times a week and let the big black and white dolphins go crazy eating as many penguins as they can while a big crowd watches.  any penguins that live through three drops get to live out the rest of their lives in a chilly, orca-free penguin house.  i think this idea has merits.  people would pay big bucks to see the orcas sucking the juicy innards out of the penguins and spitting out the floppy skins full of bones.  that's a hell of a lot more entertaining than the usual shamu performance.  and it might mean there's something a little bit different about my daughter.

serial killer whale 4, the return of tilikum

tilikum, the serial killing killer whale returns to his killing fields today to stalk his next victim.  this brave freedom fighter, proven breeder and madman is looking to take his honorable resistance and killing spree into its third decade.  given the patience and intelligence he's shown thus far, it's highly likely he'll get away with it again eventually.  fight the power, shamu.