Craig Gaulzetti Is More Full Of Shit Than Any D-List Self-Promoter In Cycling And Human History

He's as deep as a puddle.  Name-checking Infinite Jest and the New York Times is not something any literate or even semi-intelligent illiterate person would ever do sincerely, even in 2018.  (The slobbering comment after the article from Don Ferris is just the chef's kiss of circle jerking.)  Plus Gaulzetti talks up 27.5+ mountain bikes, a trend that lasted about as long as his partnership with Kelly Bedford.  Craig Gaulzetti is the pathetic and inane blithering idiot who sounds smart to the other blithering idiots in the cycling industry.  But hey, it beats workin'.  Perhaps somebody might explain to him that Carl Strong makes bikes, Richard Sachs retired from making bikes, and there are plenty of people who actually make bikes who don't come off sounding like a barely-literate, air-headed, past-his-sell-by-date shop rat with a Stalin tattoo.

2017 Carl Strong Steel--Can't Get One No More

Cuz it's steel!  Only tie-tanium now.  Sr. Strong has had more business plans than Serotta, but he's still going, so good for him.  I'm surprised Strong did not make Serottas at one time.  But he did make Ibis frames for a weird minute there...Anywho, this bike is wicked sano.

The Twits Almost Figure Out Speedvagen

Again.  (But not quite, alas.)

First off, that bike is heinous.  Nobody asked me, and everyone should be happy with their bike as much as possible, and some people like the twits need to be taxed more, but jesus frakking chris christie at the pizza buffet, that thing is an (atrociously overpriced) abortion.  Anywho.

Speedvagen in general is a grift to separate twits from their money.  Sacha White did make bikes once, but now he's a marketing/cartoon character who devises insidious ways of making bikes cost two or three or four times what they should.  Custom, proprietary, but ultimately functionally useless, bits and shapes?  Yep?  Outright dumb design choices so the proles know you bought a Speedvagen?  Sure.  Kewl-Kid cult of personality marketing--very expensive, btw?  Check.  Quick n' dirty contract construction?  You betcha.  Insane bespoke times three pricing?  Oh, yeah!  But people want what they want, even if you can get much better, cooler stuff from Rock Lobster or Carl Strong or a dozen other actual bike folks for way less than a Speedvagen poser douchebro special.  The differences between Sacha White/Vanilla/Speedvagen and a, say, Richard Sachs is that Sr. E-Ritchey-sic was a racer and builder and racer and genuine character working his tools before he was an interwebs marketing cartoon character, whereas White kinda went from being some doof taking the framebuilding class to being a marketing guru in just a few short years, skipping all the stuff upon which actual legends are built.  Isn't America wonderful!

Twits Versus Strength, The Movie

Not really, but hasn't Strong the man and Strong the bike company been at this carbon project for a while now?  Haven't I been getting the emails occasionally for quite some time?  We may never know the answers to these questions, but tune in next time for another exciting episode of Bullshit, or Not?  Seriously, Carl Strong has had more business plans than fucking Serotta--remember the stock size mountain and road bikes; the Ibis bikes built by Strong's production shop; the bike shop/factory; the lugged custom frames; the winter sale; what else?--yet he's still out there doing it.  I wonder why that is?  Zathras?

Carl Strong's Pursuit Cycles: That Guy's Had More Business Models Than Serotta

With the key difference being that he is still in business.  Yep, Strong did carbon.  Stopped.  Opened a production shop with production models and a bike shop in front.  Nope.  Ibis contract-builder.  Nah.   Powdercoat vendor.  Quit.  Frame-building vendor.  No.  Now, back to carbon with this.  Hey, he's better at this than Ben Serotta ever was.  So far.

And Now The Twits Are All A Twitter Over Moots Maybe Going The Way Of Serotta And/Or IF

Seriously.  But why?  Moots hasn't been anything special for many many years.  I am amazed at their ability to sell very expensive titanium frames, and that's fine, just fine, but to my eye their bikes are either nothing special or heinously fucking ugly.  Moots frames lack elegance, and I think that comes from the small factory aspect of the brand.  Why buy a Moots if you want something special and be forced to pay a huge premium on top of the already very dear frame price when you can buy what I consider a legitimate Moots frame, Eriksen, or a titanium frame with much more elegance and is all custom that comes from a true custom builder, Carl Strong?  That's the question.  Skip Moots and let 'em go the way of Serotta if that's their fate, and get a much better and better looking ti frame if that's what makes you all wet and sticky atmo from Strong or Eriksen.  Your welcome.

Wait, What? How Long Till New Fat Chance Bikes Are Chinese Plastic Garbage?

Made in the same shop in China as 21st century Ibis?  The over/under should probably be weeks not years.  If this unlikely thing gets off the ground at all, I can see a (very) small run of handmade USA steel bikes followed relatively quickly by some generic, overpriced Chinese suspension frames, and then that's that.  No Wicked Fat Chance, no Rear Olive Square, so what's the point?  Now if I could get a really nice steel hardtail, a modern version of a Yo Eddy, in team real wild cherry or some kind of actual fluorescent Grello paint, now that would be somethin'.  But in all likelihood this thing is going to go down like the Off-Road Toad abortion from a coupla years ago.

Of course, Rock Lobster is still in business.  Always has been.  Same as it ever was.

And Strong Frames.

Igleheart.

Curtlo.

Plenty of old-school, never left great builders out there.

And is gonna be Fat Chance Bicycles or Fat City Cycles in 2014?

custom carbon is hard to do

custom and small-production carbon bike frames are hard to do well.  this does absolutely nothing for me.  i'm sure it's very nice, but it looks cheap, unfinished and ill-considered construction-wise.  why would anyone pick it instead of appleman, calfee, crumpton or strong?  in general, the luggy carbon frames just look wrong to me; calfee has the history and cred at least, and after all these years the weird look wears you down, so they get a pass kinda'.  parlee keeps it simple and has minimized the luggy look over the years, though the prices for the american-made frames became obscene a while ago.  the sort of integrated-handwrap, smoother look is what says quality to me.  (going fucking crazy will all the carbon bits like appleman does is pretty  neat, too.)  if you try to make your carbon frame look like a lugged steel frame you look like a lesser version of that specialized allez epic carbon frame from 20 years ago.  (and yes i know about those vitus carbone frames.)  i'd ride one of those allez epics before a meivici. maybe not for long after all these years, but i wouldn't feel like a fucktard at least.