It Is Halloween Again

Dave McKenna On Jennifer Frey

Excellent piece, excellent writing.  Jennifer Frey was a fucking train wreck.  I'm sure she was a bunch of fun, but it ended very badly for her.  McKenna does a great job telling the story.  Deadspin, who knew?

Frakking Fukushima

Literal nightmare stuff.  But gleeful exceptional Americans get to watch Bill Clinton's wife campaign against a petty fascist mush-head for the presidency.  We don't need to worry about the likes of Fukushima.  Or  Yemen.  Anywhere.  Fuck 'em.  The real important shit is unspooling on the Fox "News" tee vee right now.  Trump's lying and Hillary's inanity are what we need.  Fukushima is not important.  Nothing is important.  Make America grate again.

National Anthem

Fisking James Comey Is Easy

Useful, too.  Comey is a nasty piece of shit, and scum like him should never been anywhere near a national police organization, but that's our exceptional America.  Disgusting.

Georgia Is A Shithole

Terrible place, full of racist assholes.  Being an African-American in Georgia and the other shitty racist states is a way more fucking difficult than it needs to be, and all of us exceptional Americans share in the blame for that bullshit.

CNN Sucks Yuge Moose Cock Every Bit As Much As Fox "News"

Donna Brazile is somehow worse than Lewandowski?  Right.  And we can never forget the Jerusalem Post's own Wolf Blitzer.  CNN peaked the night Bernard Shaw, Peter Arnett, and John Holliman got bombed at the Al-Rashid Hotel in Baghdad.  After that they should have literally bombed the rest of CNN as well.

Before He Became A Puffy Cartoon Character, Robert Smith Could Play Some Guitar

Reagan & Trump

Both complete fucking idiots, and neither had any idea what the fuck was going on most of the time.  While he always had a sub-room temperature IQ, Reagan had the excuse of being legitimately senile by the time he ran for president; Trump's excuse is that he's always been the dumbest guy in any room, whether he's in it or not.

Ha-Ha! Jeanine Pirro Still Sucks

Oh boo fucking hoo.  Nobody gives a shit that a reactionary racist scabrous tramp like Pirro got fucked over, but this Comey thing gives her an opportunity to get all lathered up over her warped sense of injustice all over again.  Fuck her.  And the FBI is only an esteemed organization if you are a complete fucking fascist asshole.

This Is Probably The Dumbest Comey Shit You Will Read This Year

Angsty horseshit from Dems is not helpful.   But Dems are a skittish bunch.  Comey can't deliver a Trump victory with a letter, but Dems can sure as shit lose the thread and fuck up their chances in the Senate and House.  That's what Dems are best at!

Andrea Tantaros Is Another Fox "News" Garbage Person

Much harass. So victim.  Amaze.  But not when the ostentatious checks kept appearing.  Nope, then it was not a problem for risible Fox "News" bimbo Andrea Tantaros.  After she got shit-canned, well, that's entirely different.  All of the sudden Roger Ailes was a bad, bad man, and Tantaros was OUTRAGED!  Fucking asshole.  Ailes was always a fucking disgusting racist Republican cocksucker, but dimwit whores like Tantaros only noticed when they stopped gettin' paid.

Another Dolphin Gray Nagasawa

Not Richard Sachs' Nagasawa this time, atmo.  Not sure whether it is the same color or not, but either way, it's a Nagasawa road.

Trek Is A Menace, But Keith Bontrager Lovingly Embraced Said Menace

And traded his company for a job for life and his name on some shitty house-brand Trek garbage.  Probably the prudent move, but it still sucks.  Trek went to hell when they started using those ungainly one-piece headtube/lug castings and never recovered.  They hosed Fisher and Klein and LeMond and will always be associated with Mr. Cheat-To-Win.  Plus that useless bitch Mary Burke couldn't take out Scott Walker in fucking Wisconsin, so fuck Trek.  Fuck 'em.

I guess we should be happy Trek never bought Ritchey.

'Quatermass And The Pit' Is An Excellent Flick

Absolutely fucking terrifying if you're a young child.  And when you're a bit older, you see that the movie plays out like a really good Doctor Who arc.  Fun stuff.  Kinda funny that Quatermass is not the main character init, too.

Alex Jones And Chuck Norris Talking About Chemtrails Is Just What Exceptional America Deserves

These fucking psychos don't understand science or math or weather or engineering, but they are damn sure they got some special insight into a secret alien plan to terraform the Earth into something cuz paranoia!  These fucking creepy nutjobs are exactly what we get after two generations of the conservative movement making a big chunk of America exceptionally stupider and exceptionally paranoid and exceptionally scared.  Genius!

Mr. Narrator

Clinton Had Better Have Another Really Big Smelly Mother Fucking Shoe To Drop On Trump--Tomorrow!

Clinton got fucked by Obama's incompetence with Comey--and while loudly and obnoxiously pressing the FBI for more information is a good tactic, the Clinton campaign had better have something really nasty to unload all over Trump's face and do it fucking tomorrow.  She needs a big stinky load to make Trump repulsive to everyone but the racists and Nazis and other Republicans.  She needs to piss off the Trump klan and secure the Senate and House for the Dems.  This is all slipping away now, and, while she can't lose barring a heinous terrorist attack, if she gets in there with a two or three percentage point PV win, she's hella fucked.

Deranged Lunatic Zealots Of The Day, Today

Evil, psycho fuckers.  These exceptionally loony Americans are making us all so much fucking dumber.  Even their fictional gods won't help us now.

Peel'd Garden

Enjoy Your Chinese Carbon Frame!

Sliced 'n diced.  Sort of sad to see that the Focus is not cleaner on the inside, but I do wonder how repeated and repeatable any mass-produced super clean frame is.  Is every one of those frames extra smooth on the inside?  Nobody cuts open every frame they make to check.  How good are the bad ones versus the best ones versus the average ones?  We may never know the answer to these questions, but tune in next time for another exciting episode of Bullshit, or Not?

The Cubs Are Doing The Gods' Work

As bad as Cleveland is, this is what is best for exceptional America so far.  Even better, of course: kaiju rampage.

Endearing Drive-By Fisking Of Hamilton And Lin-Manuel Miranda

Nice.  And even better, the drive-by signal-boosts this brutal long-form fisking of Miranda and his execrable Hamilton.  Good stuff.  Of course Hamilton was embarrassingly silly and shallow.  Of course it was ugly and dumb as fuck.  Of course it was carefully constructed to stroke the sensibilities of the establishment class with a maximum of unctuous smarm.  Of course!  Hamilton is the soundtrack to an addle-headed neoliberal circle jerk.

Like A Rolling Stones

Are We About To Find Out That There's No There There In Trump's Campaign

Trump was pretty much forced to pony up some dough for the last days of his campaign, since they were completely out of money.  That's no how it's supposed to work, but Trump is all about press coverage and not at all about the mechanics and minutia of winning national elections--or winning a majority of 50 state elections all held on the same day.  The pool, the pond.  Trump has essentially refused to run a legitimate campaign,  but he likes to pretend that something major, something yuge, something unprecedented is working, and that he will be swept into the presidency.  Is it mad ranting by a delusional vulgarian, or is it a comically inelegant mass-market grift being run right out in the open?  I guess we're gonna find out soon enough.

Pink Tesch 101

Fun.

Perhaps The Insipid Catherine Rampell Is The Leading Asshole At The Washington Post

Drain that right-wing media swamp, starting with the Post and Catherine Rampell.  It's lovely that the self-obsessed spoiled twit thinks that America needs Republican Party big ideas to counterbalance dangerous ideas coming from some Democrats like Bernie Sanders such as a higher minimum wage and lower college tuition.  Isn't that just fucking grand.  But that overprivileged cunt has never had to try and live on minimum wage and was never in any danger of working too many hours to pay for Princeton so why is she puking up this garbage?  Nobody should give a fuck what the fatuous Catherine Rampell thinks about anything because she's pretty obviously a fucking idiot who has never done anything even remotely useful or interesting in her life which would make her opinion of any value whatsoever.  Her job is joyfully guzzling the piss from the bucket with a polished smile until it's her turn to squat, and it's our exceptional rock-ribbed conservative establishment media that keeps shitting out worthless fucktards like Rampell in a never-ending cycle of inbred upper-class depravity.  Drain the swamp.  Then burn whatever is left.  Then salt the earth to make sure we never have to waste our time listening to worthless scum like Rampell while the rest of us who are not complete assholes get down to work on the real problems we are facing. 

Impotent Mewling Reactionary Shitbrains Of The Day, Today

Ben Shapiro and his pack of bed-wetters picking their noses at the kids' table.  Poor Ben isn't really able to compete with the big boys on the teabagging right of the GOP now that the fucking Nazis and the gods-damned Klan are doing all the heavy lifting.  Those rough guys are wicked scary to delicate boys like Ben.

Fisking Yemen

Robert Fisk, the preeminent English-language expert on current affairs in the Middle East, is on the case in Yemen.  The Saudis don't do shit without our approval, so when they are using planes and bombs they bought from our exceptional weapons industry to obliterate funerals and hospitals, well, certainly we can take some of the credit for that. 

Obama's Made A Shitload Of Mistakes, And Comey Is A Fucking Yuge One

And of course the village idiot wannabees have enormous respect for Comey, but the truth is that Obama put a block-headed reactionary stooge in an important position, and now we all have to deal with Comey's incompetence.  The upside for Clinton is that after 25 years of the most insane hatred have inoculated her against pretty much everything, even the stuff that's true.  The downside for everyone is that Comey is either a comically inept conservative or complete fucking moron.  Either way, that dumb fucker is in charge of the gods-damned national police.

Youth's Middle Age Against Fascism

Reactionary-Nitwit-Left-Behind-By-History Of The Day, Today

Threadbare, low-energy conservative shitstains have no place in Trump's brave new world!  Trump demands powerful, high-energy minions like Steve Bannon and Alex Jones!  They are the future, not tired, old Ann Althouse.

Anita Hill For The Supreme Court!

Everyone should believe Anita Hill!  And she should be on the Supreme Court!  This would be the best thing President Hillary could do for all the strong, truthful sisters out there in America.  Plus it would drive the racist Republican teabaggers fucking crazy.  President-Elect Clinton should announce this plan to appoint Anita Hill to the Supreme Court on Thursday, 10 November.  It won't matter that Prof. Hill will respectfully decline to be nominated because Hillary Clinton will have made her point, and there's a good chance just the talk of Anita Hill on court will be enough to drive Uncle Thomas to resign.

If Hillary Don't Steal The Election, Mark Kirk For Secretary Of State!

He's a perfect Republican, and the exceptional man America needs!  He'll fit right in with President for Life Trump because he's too stupid to keep his mouth shut when he (wrongly) thinks he's gonna drop a sick burn on some bitch--but at least Kirk can blame the stroke!  Mush-head Kirk was so proud of that stupid racist quip, but unfortunately the tape cuts off before you can hear his campaign chairman shooting himself in the head backstage. 

Yet Another Thing The Self-Absorbed Upper-Class Twits Don't Really Comprehend

How voting and polling work.  I'm mean, why should they?  Right?

Bloomberg Hates Trump, But Trump's Grandfather Loved Whores

The Trump family was a class act all the way back!  Running whores and ripping off prospectors is pretty much Donald Trump's life's work too, what with Trump University and his attempts to build institutionalized assault into his beauty pageants and TV show.  It's the Trump family business!  Now some intrepid cub reporter needs to find evidence of Trump's racist KKK father's work with prostitution! 

Political Song for Nasty Women to Sing

The Al Bundy Gang Are Very Lucky Oregon Is A Fucking Shithole

Those stupid racist bastards from the Al Bundy gang found their brethren right there in Orygonn.  In any civilized state, those cowards would have been found guilty, and we all could have laughed at how stupid and ugly they are.  But in Oregon, the people just ain't very bright.  Fuckers.

Here's A Pink Bruce Gordon

Political Song for Moira Smith to Sing

Unctuous Creep Jason Chaffetz Is Helping To Fuck Up The GOP In Utah

And beyond.  The snivelling little coward is not only fucking up his own election at the worst moment, he's working overtime to make Trump and the GOP look like idiots to the entire nation.  This is very good for the world and very bad for Chaffetz and the Republicans.  Nice work, ya fucking cocksucker.  Keep it up.

I Pray To Every God That Former Congressman Joe Walsh Has A Gun

And is so fucking drunk on election day that grabbing his piece and waving it around in public seems like a real good idea when Trump gets shamed by sickly grandma Hillary.  Please, jesus, I don't ask for much but having Joe Walsh leading the armed Trump insurrection for about four minutes until it is put down with extreme prejudice would be the funniest fucking thing ever.

Killary Should Have Moochelle Out There 24/7

Michelle Obama is the perfect weapon for Clinton now.  She's great for Dems who love her and will very likely drive up Democratic voter enthusiasm.  But even better, the racist Republicans fucking HATE her!  Driving up Trump voter turnout makes it more likely that the Republicans will lose big in the house since a motivated racist Trump voter is not likely to vote for the treasonous Republicans on the ballot.

Fucked-Up Conservative Assholes Of The Day, Today

These nasty shitstains.  America is an exceptional place filled with exceptionally repulsive ignorant conservative dipshits, and we should all be ashamed of that.

Is The Handbuilt Bicycle Guide The Smary Jerk-Off America Needs?

Why is the URL handbuiltbicyclenews but the front page banner says Handbuilt Bicycle Guide?  That's fucked up, but worse, is the PR horseshit on the site--nothing but gussied-up press release copy for any of the kool kids at the lunchtable who can pay the fee.  There's even a review of enthusiastic kool kid TooTall's lube.  Imagine that!  It's almost like Richard Sachs and his little friends had their own news site stroking them off.  Wait, what?

Certainly this kind of smarmy, self-congratulatory garbage is not what America needs right now.  Bet those idiots go through a shit ton of that lube, atmo.

Jim Kavanagh Remembering Tom Hayden

Hayden will have a lasting legacy, and, for once in our exceptional America, that legacy will not be one of total degradation of ideals and ideas.  Around here, not the worst is probably as good as anyone in Hayden's position could be--no hero but at least not another exceptional American villain.  Kavanagh knew him.

Drive-By Fisking Of The Risible IBD Poll

CNBC of all places does the gods' work pissing on the hilariously inept IBD poll in a piece fretting about how Clinton will not be able to cut the top tax rates sufficiently.  It is CNBC after all.  But Ben "So" White gets in a couple of brutal shots at the IBD poll along the way, pointing out that poll's record of risible errors all the way till the last few days before the election when it miraculously turns into a mid-pack predictor.  Could it be that IBD and their vile chief stooge John Merline are fucking liars?  Who knew?

One thing we do know is that the IBD poll was, is, and will always be shit.  Fuck them.

The Black For Trump: Not Just A Man, A Movement

The black is just the beginning.  Soon enough one black will be two blacks.  The blacks.  The blacks for Trump.

Here's A Nice Classic Bruce Gordon Road Bike

What The Fuck Happened With This Bruce Gordon Don't Swallow Situation?

I understand from observation that Bruce Gordon has always been attempting to further his business beyond what he alone would be able to do as he aged and the market changed.  Cool.  But what the fuck was this shit show all about?  I'm guessing it was probably mostly that a couple of loathsome, over-privileged, spoiled, coddled, clueless, self-important white douchebags mixed with a little real-world Bruce Gordon was not sustainable.  Less than a month, though.  I would have enjoyed seeing that play out in real time.  Upper-class and upper-middle class white people are truly the worst.  Maybe Swallow could find a home on the Serotta Forum?

Brick'd

The General Loves Him Some Scott Adams

Delete your account, Scott.  The grownups don't want to hear your bleating any more.

Red Tesch 101

Red bikes are faster.

Megyn Kelly Is Not Exactly A Profile In Courage

For 12+ years she was on her knees for the men who run Fox "News", right there next to Andrea Tantaros and Gretchen Carlson and Sean Hannity And Bill O'Reilly and the rest, slavishly licking the scabrous taint of insane reactionary propagandists because the money was grand and the checks never bounced.  Now, now that Fox is being dismantled with extreme prejudice by Donald Trump and Steve Bannon, suddenly Kelly is a feisty feminist.  Bull.  Fucking.  Shit.  Kelly is a screeching racist and coward.  She's very offended if someone might assault classy white women like her and is willing to say so on a channel she'll be done with in two weeks.  Fucker.

Nobody From George Mason University Gets To Call Anyone Else Dumb

Especially an economist, from a reality-denying, reactionary horseshit propaganda outlet and diploma mill like GMU.  Dumb is promulgating libertarian talking points in defiance of centuries of hard, repeated evidence to the contrary.  Walter E. Williams and his boss the Cavity Creep at CNS cannot call anyone dumb.

John Howard By Dave Moulton

Kind of remarkable that the (racing) bike market back then could support this kind of American hand-made frame production.  It's a different world out there now, kids.

Except That The Geometry Of The Aegis Frames Was Not Great

So you were stuck with something that was far from ideal.  What Aegis should have done was get someone like Chris Kvale or Dave Tesch to design the road frames and someone like Keith Bontrager or Jay DeJesus to design the mountain frames, making them legitimate alternatives to the best racing frames.  With that they might have been able to compete.

Maybe Jesus Will Return And Smite Cleveland And Chicago Before Either Can Win The World Series

It would be worth making jesus a real thing just to do that.  If neither of those rotten organizations can win, everyone else does!  Come on, jesus, ya fucker.  Do somethin fer once.  Asshole.

Yes The Federalist Will Always Be The Home To The Most Idiotic Writers In The Solar System

Those two greasy brown slime molds on Ganymede talking about how great Trump is are fucking gods-damned Thomas Paine compared to Tara Ross and Trent England.  The Electoral College is anti-democratic and should be abolished--along with the Senate--so of course a couple of fatuous reactionary douchebags fucking love it.

Muff Boy

Nice 3Rensho

Dig the pellucid lavender metallic paint.

Twisted Reactionary Fuckheads Of The Day, Today

These creepy fuckers.  They have no regular contact with anything resembling reality.  But oh they love their fucking Trump and their fucking jesus.  They've figured out that Beyonce isn't merely an awful singer, but is in fact a minion of Satan himself!  Breaking!!

Sort Of Surprised There Wasn't Another Cinderblock Tossed To The Drowning Trump Today

Two weeks to go till election day, and I thought the Clinton campaign would have another painfully embarrassing Trump scandal to expose today.  If they wait any longer it won't have enough time to completely register before the voting starts.  Let's hope they know what they're doing.  This should be a PV landslide against Trump, not just an electoral college skull-fucking.  Clinton will need an epic savaging of the GOP as much as anyone if she wants to finish them off once and for all.

Jesus Frakking Christmas

Tom Hayden Had A Decent Run

From a danger to the republic to solid establishment man in one lifetime.  But he managed to do more good than many/most "leaders" at any level, so that's something not too many of those people can say. 

BTW, Don't Pay To Go To Harvard

Total fucking ripoff, no matter what they pay their staff.  But, if you are one of those lucky ducks for whom Harvard will pay the tuition, then fuck yeah, it's wicked cool.  Harvard ain't the best school for 90+% of the undergraduates there, but I give a pass for all the full-ride peeps.  Hard to say no to motherfucking Harvard for free, but all the upper-class twats paying for that shit are getting abused.  Not that most of 'em probably don't deserve it.  If you gotta pay, make sure you're at the best school for you.  And if your (sic) the best of the best, that's probably Williams or M.I.T.

Ezra Klein, Go Fuck Yourself

And delete your account.  The absolute last thing Americans need is yet another wealthy, over-privileged lamebrain telling them what is best for them.  The advice is always wrong, yet somehow always manages to protect the wealth of the over-privileged class!  Who knew?

Klein is a fatuous asswipe, gloriously lapping at the scrotum of the establishment media knowing that it will be his balls feeling that eager tongue one day, and his silly little village-idiot welfare website is only there to act as the entry-level to that media establishment for the ball-lickers and pissboys of the world.  Fuck them.  Any wage that is not a living wage manufactures poverty, and much more importantly, acts as an engine to transfer wealth away from labor and into the upper-class--the very class which enables Ezra Klein and pays his salary.  Klein has a vested interest in maintaining poverty by keeping wages low.  Who knew?

Yes, Drain The Right Wing Media Fever Swamp And Start With The Washington Post!

Good plan! First, the Post.  The Washington Post never met a war it didn't like, is always on board to cut programs for people who aren't wealthy Washington insiders, and constantly uses its influence to further the conservative establishment.  Drain it!

Good 4 U

Hillary's Rigging The Polls! It's True!! As Long As You Don't Understand How Polls Work!!!

Or what oversampling means.  Or math.  Or English.  If you don't know anything, it's VERY clear that Hillary's RIGGING the polls.  But if have a passing familiarity with statistics or basic mathematics or reality, and you know a tiny bit about how polls work, well, then you understand that these reactionary fucktards are getting themselves all lathered up about pretty much nothing that matters to them.  They're idiots, but they're such ginormous idiots that they're screaming the proof of that risible stupidity right up in our faces.

Insane Conservative Fuckbrains Of The Day, Today

These poor stupid bastards.  It must smell really bad in their dingy little clubhouse.

Sometimes It Is Wonderful To Be Alive

Alive to watch Trump butcher the GOP.  Trump has no loyalty to Republicans and will not hesitate to ruin the party while he is losing an election.  So beautiful to see.  If the Trump collapse continues apace, the crater may be deep enough to swallow Paul Ryan himself.  Loverly!

Failing To Learn The Lesson In The Middle East

But it's not just Obama who has never learned--this shit goes way back, all the way back to the birth of our exceptional American empire!  The USA can never properly see itself as the aggressor, and so the USA will never understand just how badly the situation on the ground will get fucked up, whether that is Iraq, Libya, or anywhere else.  It happens over and over and over.  It's happening now.  But for all the mistakes, the suffering, blood, and death is mostly not ours to enjoy.

Masi Gran Crit Abortion

Holy fuck that's heinous.  That's no Masi Gran Criterium.  Well, it is if they call it one, but it's fucking horrible.  What kinda dipshit would buy that turd?  As seen on the home of the nasty, upper-class twits.  Fugly.

Hillary Clinton Making America Dumber Ever Day

Fabulous.  If the emails were fake or altered or horseshit or something else, then Clinton should have been all over them, doing something to raise legitimate suspicions.  But all they've done is try to minimize, obfuscate, and deflect.  That says something.  And if anyone with a half an ounce of credibility thinks that the Russians--as in official Russian government--did this, then you would have thought that proof of such would have been released by now.  The Clinton campaign is getting by this because of all the mis- and disinformation out there, because of the years of paranoia and hatred surrounding Clinton's opponents, and because of the merry shit show that is Donald Trump's very public implosion.  But they aren't officially denying anything.

If Trump Loses Cuz Rigged Election, Ryan Lochte 2020!

Ryan Lochte is the natural heir to the exceptional Trump movement to make America great again!  He's wicked smart!  He does stuff!  He's white!

Trump's Cadillac

Watch 'Curt Schilling And Bill Mitchell Live' Weeknights From 7-9 On Trump TV

Followed by Trump and Hannity from 9-11.  Gonna be yuge.  Yuge on Trump TV!

America's Biggest Asshole: Bill Mitchell

All the addle-headed conservative fucktardery distilled into one sick, sad motherfucker.  Bill Mitchell is the most exceptional American ever!

The General Does The Right Thing

Good to see.  On the right side of history and all that.

Hillary's Making America Stupider

Clinton's biggest supporters can't stand anybody knowing the truth about her--and because Hillary Clinton has been savaged for 25 years+ by the Republicans and other right-wingers with the most risible horseshit, in the minds of Clinton's true believers, anybody else who reveals anything true about her is just as bad.  That's really fucking dumb.  But the empire must have its empress.  Fuck, yeah!

Yeah, Superchunk, Just The Way Trump Likes It

Very Bad About The Cubs

Indeed no decent person out there wants LA to win, but the Cubs are just shit, and it will be necessary for the Cleveland team to dispatch them.  Chicago Cubs are bad mojo--and not just the Hillary Clinton/Cubs bullshit, either.

Fisking Marsha Blackburn Is Easy

And sad.  Blackburn is a typical Republican and grade-A teabagger.  You know, a moron. 

The Supreme Courts Needs More Baseball Bats And Fewer Conservatives

Roberts, Thomas, and Alito should be teed up immediately so that Justice Sotomayor can get her swings in.

Jeff Greenfield, Delete Your Account

Jeff Greenfield has always defined fatuous shitbag, and he should surely delete his account.

In fact, the Greenfield family not only embody the rot in the fetid black heart of the establishment media village, but they also would fit in great with the overprivileged upper-class twits on the Serotta Forum

Deadpool 2 Is Looking Good

Always easier to turn something into a shit show than make a good flick.  Or maybe it'll be better than the first one.  The pool, the pond.

Libya Is Doing Great Too!

Another exceptional American success story!  And Hillary Clinton will do everything she can bring more stunning successes in the next eight years!  More Irans!  More Iraqs!  More Yemens!  More Libyas!  More!  Victory!  More!  America!  Exceptional!  Terror!  Oh, it will be glorious as our empire marches on...

Will Clinton Fuck Up The Democratic Control Of The Senate?

Clinton and Schumer do not inspire confidence, but will they at least do the bare minimum and protect their own positions?  Has Clinton already demanded that Schumer make sure that every fucking bit of Senate business in the next Congress is passed with 51 votes?  Jesus frakking tapdancing christ let's hope so.  I can't believe that Clinton will be dumb enough to do what Obama did and seek comity with whatever is left of the Republicans.  The only hope we have is that both Clinton and Schumer are rotten, selfish bastards who don't want to spend the next eight years getting shit on by lying fucking minority or opposition party cocksuckers the way Obama did.  With luck, Hillary wants to slam her appointments through immediately and wants every fucking judge confirmed without opposition, so she and Schumer will sodomize the remnant Republicans on the rules.  In the end, that's not much, though. 

One Upside To The Clinton Victory: Everyone In Opposition Should Have Been Preparing For It Since 2007

As bad as she is, Clinton has been the POTUS in waiting since Obama's win in 08.  She sealed her victory on election day 2012, so the country and the world have been prepping for her administration for a good long time.  Hillary will not surprise anyone: she will be an ugly, ignorant neoliberal murderer around the world, and a rock-ribbed conservative at home.  Everyone with a stake in the government should be ready to deal with her.  The center-left Democrats should be ready to do anything to keep her from the most reactionary of economic or social policy disasters.  Labor should not be caught flatfooted when she continues the Democratic Party assault on union rights.  The good people who want less war, less killing, and fewer refugees should have their best opposition ready.  Not to stop Hillary, but at least to slow her down--in all likelihood that will be the best anyone can do unfortunately.  But anyone unprepared to oppose Hillary is frighteningly useless and should find the deepest hole anywhere and jump right the fuck in.

Ira Kaplan In The New York Times: Through Teh Looking Glass

Just another international banker getting his ass kissed by that paper.  When are they gonna interview some exceptional Americans?

Breaking: Curt Schilling Outs Jake Tapper As An Inernational Banker!

Holy shit! Jake Tapper is an international banker!  Who knew?  Well, thank jesus fucking christ that we have Curt Schilling to point out the INTERNATIONAL BANKERS!

So, what is going on with Schilling's face?  Botox?  Stroke?  Both?

Fondly Remembering Bill O'Reilly's Loofa

Good times.  That was 2004, and O'Reilly was out there with his creepy racist shit right up until Trump murdered Fox "News" in 2016.  12 years.  Jesus, this country fucking sucks.

But where was the falafel?  Jammed up O'Reilly's ass!

Even Morrissey Knows It's Over!

Hey! Sam Wang Knows It Is Over, Too

The unstoppable Clinton bandwagon--overflowing with people who are somewhere between ambivalence and disgust where Clinton is concerned!  But still, everyone knows it's over, Prof. Wang included. 

Moby's Dick V Bridget Anne Kelly

So, Kelly didn't feel like going under with tubby the New Jersey whale anymore?  Now that Christie has been put down by Trump, it is not so much fun, but I would still love to see that fat fucking Moby's Dick perp walked right into the pokey. 

Call Donald Trump, I Think Ira Kaplan Might Be An International Banker

Breaking!

Iraq And Syria Are Doing So Much Better Thanks To All Our Help!

Exceptional!  Killing people in vast numbers every day may be great for business, but the USA has got to stop exporting misery on such an exceptionally grand scale.  Our interests can't trump the interests of the rest of the fucking planet for fucking ever if we expect to be left with anything worth having at home or around the world.  Our 125-year program of worldwide imperial atrocity as domestic economic stimulus is poisoning our society at home as it sows bloodshed and murder and hatred everywhere else.

All Together Now: Pete Peterson Sucks Ass! Fuck Him! Again!

Pete Peterson is a loathsome shitbird, and his obsession with forcing poor people and old people and children to suffer just a bit more so he can have more money is fucking ugly.  But Pete Peterson is the government, and the dumb shit he wants becomes policy if he gets his way, so it's good to see a tiny bit of pushback.  Is Hillary Clinton going to stand up to Pete Peterson and the rest of the granny-starvers?  Obama tried to give Mitch McConnell and John Boehner their grand bargain, cutting Social Security and Medicare, but the Republicans were too wrapped up in their mindless racist teabagging opposition to the blah president to follow through.  Lucky for yer granny.

The Intercept has been pretty good, especially compared to the risible stooges at Vox.

Donald Trump, Always Making Friends

The Daily News goes wicked fucking bonkers with the cheap 'n easy Trump fisking.  They get it.  Now's the time to really fuck with Trump because he's down and simply can't deal.  Trump's oh so much more than a witless vulgarian.  He's also shallow and brittle and small, so this pasting he's taking from sickly Grandma Clinton is making him nucking futtier than he was before.  Pile on!

Hillary And Goldman Sachs Are On The Same Team

Goldman Sachs gets pretty good service from their people in the government.  But nobody is shocked by that.  The Occupy folks were on this shit.  Ralph Nader's been on it for fucking ever.  Even Bernie Sanders likes to talk about the amazing personal attention Goldman Sachs gets from politicians and bureaucrats.  There's no suspense in that shit. 

Heartfelt Fisking Of Peter Thiel

Lovely.  Thiel makes an excellent target, so let us pray to jesus fucking christ that the next years see an unending succession of brutal coverage of that greasy, Randian dipshit.  Thiel is one of the worst of us, and he should be shunned and shamed incessantly until he flees in tears out to his libertarian island shithole and never, ever comes back.

With any luck, Thiel will take a majority of the greasy perverted bastards in dresses from the Al Smith dinner out to his dumb fucking Ayn Rand island with him never to return.

That Fucking Al Smith Dinner Is A Gods-Damned Atrocity

If ever there was a need for some legit supernatural ass-kicking or simply a well-placed micrometeorite, those disgusting queers and pedophiles putting on that creepy shindig are screaming for it.  Too bad Clinton wasn't cool enough to spend the whole thing talking about rapy priests and how everyone will be getting free abortions weekly when she's president right after she starts taxing every church in the land.

Reproductive Choice And Access To Abortion Would Be Winners For Dems

If they only had the balls and the brains to run with it.  Out and proud, standing up for personal freedom and the right to make your own healthcare choices is the formula.  But only if you run on it.  Every candidate.  Every race.  Every election.  Make sure no woman with more than one functioning brain cell could ever cast a vote for the other side.  Makes you wonder why a sure-fire winner is treated so clumsily by a major political party.

Virag's Movie Reviews: X-Men: Apocalypse (2016)

Yeah, that was a real fuckin' mess.  This flick was directionless in both the most literal and most figurative senses.  There were too many disconnected set pieces that either weren't handled properly, like Quicksilver, or didn't belong at all, like Wolverine's thing.  The Wolverine part was actually the best part of the movie, but it didn't belong in this shit show.  The movie couldn't maintain focus, and so the villains wound up non-existent and way too convenient, while the X-Man acted like they had no idea what the movie was about.  Wicked dumb and way too long.  Two thumbs up your ass.

Nate Silver, Delete Your Account

Heh.  Silver's another one of the village-idiot trainees who shrinks with each passing election cycle.  Eventually he will be tiny enough to take his place with the Tom Brokaws and Bill O'Reillys in the establishment media flea circus.

Political Song for Steve Bannon to Sing

What's The Final Insult The Clinton Campaign Has For Trump? And When?

Do the Clintons have one last shot to take at Trump?  I would think so, and it's probably going to be very nasty.  The Trump people should probably be extremely uncomfortable right about now.  When will she loose this final insult?  I'd say very early next week would be best.  Trump's already fucked himself with that shit about not accepting election results because he's losing, so he's made sure that he's in for an unpleasant weekend.  Next Monday or Tuesday should probably see the tape of Trump calling someone a nigger come out or the video of some domestic violence incident or the proverbial live boy.  Something.  I would hope the fucking Clintons have one more gloriously entertaining greasy noxious dirty trick to pour directly over Trump's head.

Today's A Very Bad Day For Trump And A Great Day For The World

Also a pretty good day for Clinton, but she's awful, so fuck her.

Trump made the big boo-boo last night of saying that he would not acknowledge the sanctity of the sweet fucking deal that pays the salary of all the tee vee people and political people out there, and those political and tee vee people won't stand for that.  Trump's going to be beaten senseless over it, and that's awesome.  Trump wasn't defending people denied the right to vote by Republican judges or Republican governors.  He wasn't standing up for all the people disenfranchised by Dems, either.  He was crying like a pussy because he's getting the shit kicked out of him by a sickly granny in a tacky pantsuit.  That's not good when there are rich people who got rich by being on a 24-hour tee vee infrastructure designed for propping up the establishment.  Oops.

Sad Lover's Waltz

Sweet Frakking Jesus, Hannity Is Dragging Out Every One Of The Risible Fox "News" Uncle Toms

Herman Caine, David Clarke, Niger Innis, Larry Elder.  Holy motherfucking shit, it's a gods-damned minstrel show abortion on Fox "News".  Lunatics.  Jesus.  Fucking disaster.  It's probably not fair to hold those poor stupid bastards to a higher standard than the average racist Fox "News" cracker, but fuck them.  They're disgusting.

Clinton's Answer On Abortion And Roe Versus Wade May Have Been Much Stronger Than I Thought

The idiots on Fox were very upset with Clinton's spiel on choice and the Supreme Court, completely missing the point that Trump's ludicrous hard-line anti-choice position with the religious extremists completely alienates the vast majority of the entire fucking country.  They were so very offended and so very hurt that maybe her performance was better than I gave her credit for.

Sean Hannity Sounds Terrified

He's babbling incessantly about O'Keefe and Frank Luntz and Wikileaks.  It can only be incoherence borne by abject terror.  I'm not sure if Hannity is privy to the Republican Party internal polls at this point, but his stammering delivery betrays that even he knows something really bad is happening out there in exceptional America.  Hannity is scared shitless, and Megyn Kelly and the rest are just worn down to worthless nubs. 

And if it's so obvious that even a rockhead like Sean Hannity can figure out that Trump's going to get destroyed, that outcome is gonna be something absolutely beautiful!

Oh, Fuck, Now It's Bill Bennett!

Even the top-tier--and second- and third- and fourth-tier--Republicans have abandoned Trump.  They went from Qusay, to a generic campaign flack, to Uday, to greasy old Bill Bennett?  Bill Bennett was a fatuous third-tier Republican 30 fucking years ago!  Sweet fucking jesus, nobody will stand with Trump.

SAD.

How low will Trump's PV percentage go?

Uday Was Clearly Dropped On His Head One Too Many Times As An Infant

From the look of him, the best day of Donald Trump Jr.'s life was last Thursday when he finally learned to hold his pee pee during the day and was able to wear big boy underpants when he goes on the tee vee.

The Poor Fuckers On Fox "News" Sound More Lobotomized Than Usual

They're sad, sad pandas on Fox "News" after the debate.  Pathetic Megyn Kelly is personally cheesed off about Trump lying about the women, and Bret Baier is positively a frightened, squeaking, soporific rodent on the tee vee over the Clinton Foundation.  None of the old Fox enthusiasm.  They know they're on their way out and have given up the fight.

SAD.

Making Democratic Ads Is The Easiest Job In The Universe For The Next Three Weeks

It's gonna be even easier after tonight.  Every fucking Dem out there should be pounding their opponent with Trump's answers on abortion, the election results.  Too simple.  Let's see if they have the brains and the stones to close the deal and win big.

Probably not.

Chris Wallace: Pete Peterson's Pissboy!

Wallace slurped greedily from the steaming piss bucket of conservative talking points on entitlements.  Hillary should have been better at slamming him down over that bullshit, but unfortunately, she's on the wrong side of that mostly.  Oops.

That shot at Trump about getting out of his taxes was pretty funny, though.

Trump Really Sounds Like Alec Baldwin Trump Now

Completely incoherent spiel about Aleppo and GDP; Baldwin might be the greatest actor ever, or the worst.  But Trump is an addle-headed douchenozzle.

Too bad Hillary's not way better than she is, though.

Hard-Hitting News Guy Chris Wallace Just Let Trump Say He Might Not Accept The Election

Jeez.  Wallace is a real pit bull.  Trump is a blathering idiot and Wallace is pretty much just wiping the drool off Trump's chin now.

Wallace Fucks Up The Clinton Foundation Shit

Wallace tried to help Trump again but fucked it up so completely that Hillary slithered out from under the question and shot some shit at Trump about portraits and taxes.  Jesus.  Wallace is an incompetent even for a Fox "News" clown.

Who Debunked The Trump Allegations?

Nigel Farage's gay pedophile pimp?  Really??  Jesus.

Why didn't Hillary pounce on that shit?

SAD.

Too Bad Hillary Sucks So Badly On The Economy

Trump is a fatuous shithead, but Clinton is useless.

Why the fuck doesn't she tell him that her years in the government have not been as absolute monarch?  She didn't have the personal power to do implement whatever policies she wanted, and I think even the exceptional Americans out there could understand that.

Donald Donald Donald

Every "Donald" is a poke in Trump's eye.  Clinton was well-prepared for this whole thing, and she's kicking that poor dumb bastard in the balls repeatedly.

Chris Wallace Tried To Save Trump With Wikileaks And Fucked It Up

Wallace is losing control, and now Clinton is hectoring both of them on Putin, kneecapping Trump.  Nice job, Chris.  Fucking moron. 

Trump is twitchy and bordering on manic now. 

Ruh roh.

Trump Looks Like Shit Tonight

He started out like an embalmed Botox zombie, but now he's getting that sweaty creepster look on.  Not good.

Here Comes The Snifflin

Trump is sniffling.  That signals the end of the debate, I believe.

Decent Answer On Abortion By Clinton

Not as clear or as vigorous as it should have been, but Clinton was well-prepared for this and is hammering Trump on it.  Not bad.  Surprised, I am.

Trump's a fucking nimrod.  His silly answer probably got the fundies all wet and sticky, but compared to Clinton he sounded criminally foolish.

When The Fuck Are We Going To Get A Candidate With The Balls To Call For A Proper Enforcement Of The Second Amendment And A Ban On Guns

A well-regulated militia.  Beyond that, no guns.  No beat cops with guns, either.  Jesus, this country is fucking stupid.

Oh, Fuck, Trump Shoulda Cracked Open That Speedball Before He Walked Out

He looks embalmed.  I think he may have actually passed away 15 minutes before the start of this thing.  He's not sniffling constantly, and I guess that was the goal.

Ted Rall Thinks Hillary Needs To Beat Trump

Trump has been doing Hillary's work for her--she doesn't need to close the deal.  She knows she doesn't have to be great to win.  She knows she almost certainly can't lose.  Sucks for Rall, and the world, but Clinton doesn't need any stunts to bury Trump.

Last Chance For That Perfectly-Timed Divine Asteroid

If some imaginary god out there really wanted to show off, this would be the last best chance to smite this sorry shithole with some divine intervention in the form of a giant asteroid screaming right at us from the darkest regions of deep space.

The Ballad Of Dylan's Nobel's Cigarette

Too Bad About Cleveland

Canada isn't a very good place.

Or Not

Atrios, Willfully, I Think, Misses The Point About The Clinton Wikileaks

And yes I understand that he likes to play the role of cool cat, popular loner, superstar jock but also artistic guy everyone wants to be around, like Christian Slater only a bit more sober, but he does work for David Brock, and so he is plugged right into the heart of Team Democrat in the great big political intramural party going on right now.  The point is not that most of the leaks represent business as usual so they are not newsworthy.  The point is that both parties play this shit all the time with the media and that's why everything is fucked up and getting worse all the time.  No matter whether it's Clinton or not, it is always the same people with same agenda and the same priorities, none of which have anything to do with good governance.  And that is news.  Except that most all the "news" people are part of the problem to greater or lesser degrees.  That's what makes this news: routine and business as usual in the political/media establishment is completely fucking divorced from the reality of almost every single human on the planet.  That's news.  And Duncan Black knows it even if he won't admit it.  I mean, I hope he knows it.  It would be pretty fucking awful for him if he couldn't or wouldn't.

Teh comments are pretty sad as well.  For the most part it's like a Breitbart comment crew with better hygiene, so desperate to hang on to what they are sure is the truth and dismiss anything else with the pathetic cowardly sarcasm common to the feistiest dementia-patient residents of the second-grungiest old-folk's home in Teaneck, NJ. 

Bike People Are The Dumbest People And Specialized Exploits Them

Jesus.  Remember when production racing bikes were sized every centimeter between 48 and 62, plus maybe a 46 and a 65?  (And there was always custom because it was easy to customize a lugged steel frame.)  Remember when stems were infinitely adjustable for height in a range of 15mm?

This riser road bar is the stupidest gods-damned thing ever, but most bike people are too dim to realize that the existence of this abortion says something really awful about modern racing bikes.

Feckin ijits. 

Trump Campaign Theme Song

America Is An Exceptionally Lovely Place. Emmet Till Says So!

Gods bless America!  What a fucking place we gots here.  President For Life Trump is exactly what we deserve.  Let's pray to jesus fucking christ who we love so fucking much that we all get every fucking thing we deserve. 

Joe Dawson Gets A Little Help From His Friends

Jim Byrnes and hockey together is the most Canadian thing ever.  Ima gonna bet Adrian Paul coulda used the gig, tho.

Free Mumia

A Helpful Reminder That Mumia Abu-Jamal Is Innocent

He is innocent.  Abu-Jamal is a political prisoner, a prisoner of the Democratic Party establishment in Pennsylvania and that fat sack of rancid puss Ed Rendell.  If the state has to manufacture evidence and lie in court to convict you, you are not only not guilty, you are in fact most likely completely innocent.  Obama should pardon Abu-Jamal.  Free Mumia.

Camper Van Black Flag

Texas Pretty Much Deserves This

Texas is a shithole filled with nasty fuckers, and Arlington is the absolute worst, so I can't feel too badly over the fine folks getting skull-fucked by the assholes who own the Rangers.  Kinda seems perfect, really.

It's Tough Being A Republican Out There

Paul Craig Roberts is probably wishing he'd found a deeper hole a couple of decades ago.  Right now though, Roberts feels somewhat frisky and vindicated because the Middle East shit show is not strictly a GOP cock-up.  Both exceptional American political parties in the reactionary neoliberal establishment have been working to royally fuck up that region for generations.  Clinton is certainly a war-mongering monster, and that's the coldest comfort Paul Craig Roberts is likely to enjoy for a long, long time.

David Seaman Is That Really Annoying Dumb Kid Who's Been In Your Class Since Like Second Grade

He's never in the other class, always yours, and he's really fucking annoying and stupid.  He can't stop disrupting the class yelling about his weeny, and you wonder why he's not in the special classroom.  And naturally he's grown up into a creepster and Trump pissboy because duh.

Question: is it more embarrassing to be on the Huffington Post or fired from the Huffington Post?

John Doe And Mike Watt With A History Lesson

Vigorous Fisking Of Dylan's Nobel Prize

Bob Dylan getting a Nobel prize for literature while Thomas Pynchon is alive is pretty fucking goofy.  And that's what Dylan's award was: a stunt.  The Nobel committee was fucking with the real writers while getting themselves some lively press.  But any prize like that fucking thing is only as good as the people giving it out, and the literature committee really might as well have given it Kissinger if they were looking to ruin that particular Nobel for everyone else.

I mean, when are the Mekons getting their Nobel?  And if you give it Dylan, you pretty much gotta give one to his favorite offspring with Lou Reed Ira Kaplan.

Rock Harder!

Nothing like a little grade-Z faux-Dio Canadian hair metal.  Dave's world of fun stuff, indeed.

Exceptional All-American Racist Idiots -1

That greasy weasel David Duke is the fucking center of the exceptional American racist Republican movement.  And the formerly-racist kid sounds like kind of a weirdo.  I'm shocked that the bootstrapping tough guys of Stormfront would have taken an oath of fealty to such a queer little princeling.  I guess it's good that he's out of it finally, and maybe the good guys can use Derek Black to do some real damage to Trump's GOP in the coming year.

Shepard Smith? No Way!

The world is shocked!  That Shepard Smith was so fucking dim that he didn't know Roger Ailes was a fucking racist, sexist shitbird from day one!  Crazy!!

D.C. McAllister Is The Absolute Stupidest Motherfucker On Earth, Today

Proudly brought to you by the Federalist, "We make Alex Jones sound reasonable and well-informed!"  Jesus.  Well, this is one answer to what sort of disgusting shitsack would be a Trump voter: D.C. McAllister.  If she really believes that Obama tape is real--after it was debunked more than EIGHT FUCKING YEARS AGO--well, then McAllister is an irredeemable fucktard and an absolutely awful, exceptional American.  In other words, she's a perfect Republican.  Yay team.

The Republicans Should Have Nominated Colin Kaepernick For President

He would have at least preserved the Republican brand for the next election cycle.  As it stands now, neither the Republicans nor Kaepernick are doing anything useful in their chosen fields.

Peter Sagan: Hard Guy And Greasy Dirtball

The world agrees: better than Cavendish!  Sagan's a mutton-head and fashion victim, but he knows how to win a bike race.  And if Cavendish comes in second, everybody wins!

The Best Of America: Planned Parenthood At 100

America is an awful place, but institutions like Planned Parenthood are glimmers of hope for a better society.  Planned Parenthood is one of those great things we need more of, and we can all pray to jesus christ and all the other silly gods that we get those good things.  More Planned Parenthood, less Republican Party and less Donald Trump.

Plus, the biggest scumbags in the world, and the most pathetic losers ever, and the nastiest creeps in America hate Planned Parenthood, so that's the best endorsement of PP ever!

Mike Pence Is An Exceptional American Asshole

Human garbage, exceptional American style.  Pence is every bit as wretched and evil as Trump, with Pence having the advantage of being a complete idiot.  Pence's role so far in his political life has been as loyal tool to the conservative establishment, but that gravy train is derailed now.  Pence will never get the stink and stain of Trump's bloody, botched abortion of a campaign off him.  No more goodies for Pence.  Exceptional!

Pathetic Conservatives Shitstains Of The Day, Today

Proud guzzlers of rancid Trump spooge.  Yummy.  These are some of the truly awful people who still love Trump.

Josh Barro: Rocket Surgeon

And rock-ribbed establishment tool.  Who gives a flying fuck what he thinks or does.  He's a dipshit from way back and part of connected, inane, conservative family.  Good for him.  And the only fun part of that nonsense is that Trump is gleefully destroying the Republican brand, burning it to the ground and salting the Earth.  Heh.  But fuck Josh Barro.

What Sort Of Sick, Sad Losers And Repugnant Shitbirds Are Voting For Trump At This Point?

Trump's no winner!  During the primary campaign, Trump could have been seen as a winner, if you were a nasty, racist, violent, guntard fuckwad, but now he's the loser's loser, getting beaten senseless by a frail old grandmother, so who would be horrible enough to vote for a piece of shit like Trump now?  Hell, even Joan Walsh can see it's over!

Jelani Cobb, Delete Your Account

Heh.  The sorry bastards who employ him must be very fucking proud.

Robert Smith For President. Why Not?

The Fucking Twits Are Really Assholes

Not sure which group are the bigger worthless cocksuckers, but seeing as they're mostly all upper-class and upper-middle class twits, it don't really feckin' matter.  Anyway, wear your fucking helmet.  Not wearing a helmet is never a good thing, and no injury was ever made less severe by not having a helmet on.  Those useless shitbags on the Serotta Forum and everywhere who try and convince other people that not wearing a helmet is safer sometimes are the anti-vaxxer, Trump-supporters of the bike world.  Fuck them.

And why was Tilford dumb enough to out on a group ride without a helmet?  Was it an organized ride?  Jesus, Kansas is a fucking hellhole.  Idiots.  Tilford's fucked now, too.  He was a monster hard guy and now he'll probably never be the same, somewhere between fucked and brain-damaged drooling idiot/Trump fan/typical Kansan.  Jesus, after 40 years of racing, you would think that he would have learned...

Let's Never Forget What A Shitty Movie 'Iron Man 3' Was

Fuckin' yuge piece of shit.  That movie was absolute garbage, made by garbage people, for garbage people.  Some of the Marvel movies have been pretty good, but Iron Man 3 was utter fucking shit.

Never forget.

Political Song for Donald Trump to Sing

Of Course Tim Tebow Is A Bad Fucking Joke

Tebow was never much of an athlete, obviously.  Anyone with real talent and all the chances he's been given without earning them would have found a way to hang on--done anything to make it work--but not him.  Too stupid.  Fuck Tebow.

Enjoy Your Chinese Carbon Mountain Bike Frame And Fork

A bargain!  Let's also remember that China has nuclear weapons, is developing a space program, and builds iPhones.  Cheers!

This Is What Being An Exceptional American Is Like Right Now

The Hydraulic Press Channel is what America needs.

Matt Taibbi Is Enjoying The Trump Campaign

It's nice to see people having fun.  Taibbi is on board with Trump is killing the GOP--really, he killed it the day the he announced in NY, but it took a little bit of time for the party to bleed out.  Now Trump is essentially ass-fucking the corpse of the Republican Party.

Song For Dave Alvin

Nigel Farage Skull Fucks The Trump Campaign

Surely this execrable Anthony Gilberthorpe, world-famous pimp to the well-heeled homosexual pedophile and a comically inept confidence man, is the work of Nigel Farage, and now the fatuous shitstain is running away.  I'm not sure how much more hilarity we can squeeze outa this campaign with 24 days left.

Trump Supporters Are Exceptional Americans, Kansas Edition

THIS is how Trump and his people will make America great again!  One bombing is just the start.  Eventually, Trump will be able to round up these dirty foreigners and illegal immigrants and international bankers and rapists and make America great again in just a few central locations!  Fuck yeah!

Sure these fools fucked it up, but there are millions of exceptional Americans out there who want to help Donald Trump make America great again.  They're everywhere. 

Sin D

Sometimes The Jokes Just Write Themselves

Like with Trump.  Or this.  They gotta name the moons Dingle and Berry.

There's Nothing Uglier In The World Than Christian Zealotry

The poor sick bastards in ISIS aren't part of a society with a multi-trillion dollar military infrastructure.  The insane primitives in the Taliban are not a danger to the wider world.  But the exceptional American christian zealot is a danger to the world.  The fanatic christian denies science, freedom, progress, hope, and demands the world bend to their diseased view of reality.  They're fools and maniacs, easily manipulated, violent, racist, and supremely dangerous.  The fundamentalist christian has no knowledge or understanding of the world worth considering.  They're horrible, evil people who are disgusting, damaging, and despicable. 

Podesta Email Funfetti

Julian Assange is the gift that America truly needs.  Certainly almost everyone in the establishment media is doing their damnedest to ignore all the Clinton stuff Wikileaks has set free, but the reality of it is both maddening and fucking hilarious.  Hillary Clinton is exactly the monster ever sane, intelligent person understood her to be, but even funnier, she's basically a petty incompetent just like her campaign opponent.  No, Hillary Clinton is not the devil, and she's not some liberal left-wing leftist socialist, but she is a dimwitted neoliberal monster just waiting to continue to the job of fucking up the world.  Exceptional!

Addle-Headed Conservative Assholes Of The Day, Today

These rancid fuckknobs.  How long till we have get right down in the sewer with these bastards and clean the place out once and for all?

Breaking: International Banks Are Destroying America!!

If only we knew who these international bankers were!!  They're destroying America!  But how do you recognize an international banker?  Where are they??  If only there was an easy way to tell who was an international banker!  We need to know who these international bankers are!  Maybe we should ask Jared Kushner.  He might be an international banker!  Or maybe he knows some!!  Really, you never know where you'll find an international banker!  They could be hiding anywhere!!

Machine Ken

Ken Bone, Exceptional American Asshole

What a dipshit.  There's no way this creepy fucker wasn't voting for Trump all along.  Another triumph of our wonderful, helpful establishment media.  Good work, fellers.  Jesus.

Old New Kim

Sounds Like A Fun Movie Night

Psychotic police state violence with Do Not Resist! Then Ghostbusters!  That sound fun.  Better than binge-watching the Trump campaign.

Talent Formula

Jesus, Is Trump Gonna Lose Utah??

He could be fucked there, too.  The Electoral College is not gonna be pretty for Trump if he can't hold reactionary shitholes like Utah.  It looks like the Mormon establishment is acting against him in their garbage pail state, so he might be looking at unprecedented failure.  Heh, indeedy.

The Dumbest Motherfucker On Earth, Today

Chris Kanthan? Really?  Sounds like a really bad fake name to me, but whatevs.  He's (or she's) an addle-headed Trump fluffer, so sure of all the crazy dumb shit he believes.  In other words, and exceptional American.  Rock on, you bugfuck ignorant asswipe. 

So, It Was Wednesday, Not Tuesday

Trump's getting slaughtered now.  The Clinton campaign is just fucking with him, hoping to push him into attacking the GOP more and more viciously.  I thought it would be yesterday, but it wasn't.  Don't matter, cuz now Trump is nothing more than Clinton's fucktoy.

What Will The Postcard From 2016 Say?

We probably don't want to know, but anyway, this is neat.  A slight bit of respite from what is your exceptional American reality, 2016.

The Earth Is Flatter Than Trump's Head

When Trump is President for Life, the Earth will be properly flat.

Things Are Looking Up: Wiseau And Sestero Are Back!

That dynamic duo will save America!  Even President Trump won't be able to stop this glorious abortion.

Video Of Trump Taking Care Of Business Novermber 9th At Republican HQ

Red Letter Media was on the case.  They found it.  Spooky time travel video.

Mercilessly Brutal Trump Fisking

By Politico of all things.  The Trump experts make a bunch of really decent, obvious, points about Trump and the campaign, as these are people who have been spending an inordinate amount of time thinking about Trump this year.  But the thing really gets rolling when they start to into consideration of the political economy, literally, beyond the September-October-November run-up to the election.  How does the media progress after the election?  What do the parties look like?  Who will gain the power--and make the money--from an embarrassingly epic Trump presidential campaign defeat?  What does that world look like and how is it different from the one we are living in today?  They barely scratched that, mostly because that crew really wasn't up to the task, but somebody's gonna win this round of the game. 

What they didn't talk about, as they all agreed Trump really couldn't win, was what it would be like if he won.  And they're right: Trump can't win.  But he might.  I don't think Russia or China or the UK or Germany or Japan or Israel or even Saudi Arabia would risk engineering a Trump victory with a perfectly-timed terrorist incident--they actually have something to lose if they fuck it up and can't outwit an unhinged, violent fascist President Trump 100% of the time--but what if those stupid fuckers in Syria or Iraq or Afghanistan have one more decent shot in 'em?  The exceptional USA has made a shit ton of exceptional enemies over the last 125 or so years, and this would be the best chance any of them have ever had to defeat the GREAT SATAN!  An attack the Sunday before election day could deliver the White House to Trump and effectively destroy America.  That might take the rest of the world with it, but what the fuck do those crazy motherfuckers in ISIS have to lose?

Political Song for Donald Trump to Sing

But The Mr. Plinkett Review Of 'Force Awakens' Was Fun

It was better than good.  And the stuff about the ring theory and how dumb kid's movies written by a lazy dipshit were not secretly works of genius, that stuff was on point.  The whole thing didn't feel as long as it was, either.  So, good job.  Worth waiting for.

Even Yet Still More Jeffrey Goldberg Fisking, Time Machine Edition

Jeffrey Goldberg's been an evil motherfucker for a long, long time.  It's wonderful that our wise and fearless--and hopelessly conservative--establishment media has vile, hateful men such as Goldberg to fête, otherwise the wars against the helpless peasants of Palestine and other far-off lands might not continue!  Cockburn was on Goldberg's case in 2003.  Now the Atlantic magazine has put Goldberg in charge.  Exceptional!

Mondoweiss: Some Of This Shit Is Important

The world is fucked up and Trump and Clinton are all shit, but it's not all shit.  This stuff is important.  Exceptional America is exceptionally fucking up the world 24/7, and we need to not do that.  There are orders of magnitude more suffering in the world because the elites in the United States can't stop fucking shit up.  Israel is the worst, but without us they'd be nothing.  It's our fault.  There a good people out there doing their best to help, but they can't do it alone with the majority of the population too stupid or too lazy or too evil to do anything to help.

Subtract The Savant Part; Ben Carson Is Just An Idiot

I'm sure they musta hired an Argentine midget surgeon to do those operations.  Carson couldn't successfully separate a layer cake.

Kickin' Gore When He's Down

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The Democratic Party Establishment Is Every Bit As Dumb As The GOP Establishment

From the top to the bottom, the apparatchiks are no better just because they are not Republicans.  Hillary's supporters are probably the worst thing about her, and considering she's an evil, war-mongering monster and fatuous, neo-liberal conservative, that says a fucking boatload. 

Hamilton Nolan Almost Gets It, Atmo

But at least he sees for himself why the rock-ribbed Dem establishment was so freaked out about Sanders this year.  Because Sanders would have romped in the general, his unbelievable strength against a feckless Hillary was a gods-damned nightmare for the party.  The conservative establishment Dems were shitting themselves about losing control of a Sanders-led, centrist Dem party.  But Nolan's dead wrong about Sanders being any kind of socialist beyond how every government official is a socialist.  The college tuition and financial regulation and minimum wage and energy policy and shit Sanders championed were all just obvious, centrist, common-sense policies any stable industrialized nation would embrace.  But not here.  The Dems never wanted that.  Plus they picked Hillary the day of Obama's reelection victory.  He's also wildly, hilariously wrong about Clinton being "mostly ok".  That's fucking disgusting, but as it is the prevailing position of ignorant, self-important establishment media village idiot millionaires everywhere, it is perfectly understandable that Nolan would ape it without much consideration.  In the end, Nolan misses the bigger points, but he sees some of the smaller ones.  Not bad.  Getting better.

The Feckin Red Sox Do The Gods' Work And Go Out Like Pussies

Losers.  And Big Poopy is finally gone from the game after being a yuge piece of shit for way too long.  Wicked fucking funny to see the Sawks go out like the losers they always are.  Heh.  David Price!  Loser!!  Genius.

Talk Show

Another Really Sensible, Well-Informed And Exceptional American Republican

A great guy, smart, good-looking, everything you could want in a husband or a son or a father or a friend.  Yeah.  Big Trump fluffer AND a flat-Earth guy.  Genius.

Nigel Farage Is Gross

And creepy.  And nasty.  And dumb.  And a racist cretin.  But it's totally obvious that he'd splooge in his undies over Trump.

Breezy Studs Terkel Signal Boost

An excellent counter to our rancid reality.  NPR has been playing and replaying sections of their long-form Terkel study, and on Counterpunch Ron Jacobs makes the valuable point that Terkel is accessible to most any reader.

Not For You

The Trump Campaign Should Be Quite Anxious About What Tuesday Will Bring

Assuming this past week has all been engineered by the Clinton campaign: sending Kaine out to insult Trump and make Pence and other Republicans defend him; then releasing the pussy tape causing the Republicans who had defended him to panic and start denouncing him; giving the Trump supporters an excuse to turn on the GOP elites; putting Trump on the debate stage and baiting him into acting even more unhinged than usual on live tee vee, all of it working perfectly so far.  Now the Clinton campaign will probably let the debate debacle percolate during the day off, hoping to get some mileage out of Trump's wounded-rat performance, but Tuesday should see another shoe dropping, and that one could be even more ugly for the Trump people.  Let's hope for funfetti.

Holy Shit, Pence Is Not Really Going To Bail

There's no fucking way the Republicans are that fucking stupid.  But oh jesus fucking christ, if it were really to happen, this would be the best and most entertaining thing to happen to America in fucking decades.  Fuckin' unbelievable.  Never gonna happen, tho.

This Trey Smith Guy Seems Nice. And Sane. Very, Very Sane.

Really well-acquainted with and grounded in reality.  Smart guy.  Exceptional American that Trey Smith.

The American People Are Idiots

That last question was such fucking horseshit.  Shame on Hillary for not having the balls to say that she did not respect an ignorant fascist and racist fucker like Trump in any way, nor did she respect his vile racist supporters.  Shame. 

Here's An Idea: Send Clinton And Trump To Syria

If we drop them both from a great height onto Syria, maybe that subsequent fallout will effectively end the fighting.  It's worth a try.  Save some innocent lives in Aleppo, maybe.

Trump Doesn't Know How The Senate Works

And he's sure his fucktard Nazi supporters don't understand that shit either.  He's a fucking idiot.

Clinton On The Tee Vee Is Awful

She makes any decent human pray for the cleansing impact of a beautiful extinction asteroid.

Too Bad Clinton Is Not In Favor Of A Functional Health Care System

A decent fucking candidate could have skull fucked Trump or any Republican on this question.  But no, she has to be a fucking useless asshole. 

Well, She's Got Him To Lose His Mind

Trump's cracked up.  Clinton has decided that this was their goal.  Clearly, they wanted the ranting, frightened Trump up there flailing on the tee vee.  Looks like it's working so far.  He's ranting and incoherent. 

Now finally he's going after the Republicans a little.  More to come I'm sure.

Sniffy The Cokehead Trump Needs A Better Dealer

He's sniffling up a storm again but has no energy.  Shoulda spent the coin for the good stuff for once, Donnie.

The Clinton people clearly think Trump is close to the edge.  She's baiting him with a soft voice, but she's trying to get him to cry.  Or hang himself on live tee vee.

No Handshake To Start The Debate

Trump's already given up.  He looks bedraggled and beaten down, wishing he was somewhere else.  He's really quite fortunate that the questions will be 100% inane and useless; a decent moderator could have driven him to suicide tonight after the week he's had.

Let's Watch Trump Go After The Republican Party Tonight

Trump's probably too much of a pussy to attack Hillary, but I bet he goes after the traitorous Republicans hard.

Wealth, Privilege, Football, And Hodgkin's At Williams

The old days at Williams College.  Such privilege and such a primitive America.  An interesting glimpse into history of the ruling class and the development of medicine.  And a time when playing football was often seen as heroic instead of as sad and foolish.

Well, The Election Campaign Is Entertaining, At Least

I thought for sure we would be entering a terrible time in the campaign, with the inexorable slog of the appalling Hillary Clinton into the White House, and an ineffectual and unprepared Trump calcifying into the mundane tedium of a hopeless loser.  But no!  We shall have our amusement!  We may be all totally fucked as a hard-right, war-mongering monster like Hillary Clinton assumes the presidency, but at least we will be entertained first!  This week has been the properly insanely tawdry circus for the masses with a promise of more to come, and for that trifle of kindness, we should all be thankful.

Absolutely Nobody Likes Ted Cruz

Now it looks like there's not a man, woman, or child on the planet who would bother crossing the street to piss on him if he was on fire.  That's an exceptionally wonderful thing.  Maybe there's hope for America yet.

But Maybe It's The Fucking Red Sox Who Are Making America Great Again

It's a gods-damned miracle!  With all the terrible shit going on, with Trump and Hillary and the rest of those disgusting fucks this election year, are the Red Sox the ones who are saving America?  Will an exceptionally ignominious dismantling by the Tribe be enough to rescue America in 2016?  Let's hope so!  Is David Price being a shitty, overpaid, and entirely predictable embarrassing choke artist the thing that makes America truly great?  Let's pray to motherfucking jesus christ it is!