Hopes And Tidings

Fairy Tales Of NY

This Will Always Be Weird: Roger Dorn And Arnie Becker Are Creepy Conservative Christians

Doesn't fit, somehow.  Corbin Bernsen does not seem like the type who would be making creepy fucking jesus movies with fine actors like Kevin Sorbo and John Voight.  He grew up in the business and should know better, you'd think.  These fuckers are demented, too.  Gross.

A Constant Refrain: Those Early Rivendell Bikes Were So Nice, The Road Frame, The Atlantis

So good. All that was missing at the beginning was a Riv MB-1 and a Riv RB-1.  Real racing style lugged steel bikes.  But it never happened.  The Road frame was almost a fancy RB-1, and the Atlantis was the perfect bike for its intended use.  The Rambouillet, the Saluki (650B), the Bleriot (cheaper Saluki), even the Long-Low canti road frames, those things should have made Grant rich beyond his least-wild dreams.  Hell, Grant should have been able to sell the shit out of a lugged, steel cyclocross frame suited to real racing, like a Swiss Cross with lugs and a steel fork.  Time was not kind to Rivendell, though.  The bikes got goofier and tackier, and Grant never focused on the 650B gravel bike trend he started, any more than he made bank off any of the other trends he reignited or helped bring back.  Sad.  There hasn't been a Riv bike I'd buy offered in almost a generation.  Shitting on Rivendell is a storied pastime at this point.  I'm glad I got the generation one Atlantis when I did.  The Riv MB-1 and Riv RB-1 would still have been steady-sellers today.  In the end I guess Grant didn't care.  Paging Zathras.

Dancing Lessons

Conservative Neoliberal Dems Are Worse Than Ass Cancer

Or rock-ribbed GOP base Trumptard baggatron cocksuckers.  The establishment conservative neoliberal Dems destroyed American democracy by maintaining the Democratic Party as a conservative poor cousin of the Republican Party.  The top priority now is a mainstream centrist Democratic Party pushing the common-sense popular centrist agenda of Bernie Sanders.  No more rock-ribbed reactionary Dems like Clinton and Obama; that right-wing scum has no place in government or society.  Once we get the centrist agenda like national healthcare, voting rights, minimum wage, union representation, tax-funded higher education, in place, well, then we can finally get around to the needed center-left policies.  Baby steps.

Tigerz

Hard To Believe Bre Payton Died Of Swine Flu--Who Said Comedy Was Dead?

And who funds the Federalist, anyway?  Maybe they shoulda funded a flu shot or two as well. 

Music For Americans

Some People Still Like Star Wars Even After Those Assclowns J.J. And Rian Killed It

That's cute.  SW was at best dumb fun, but loosing a couple of fucking dumbass jerkoff hacks like J.J. Abrams and Rian Johnson all over it with unlimited Disney money turned out to be a yuge mistake.  Those fucking dummies had no clue.  And now it sucks major ass and nobody cares.  Shitting all over SW is the only entertainment left in the thing.  Thanks, Trump!

This Is Not Even Close To The Best Smiths Song

Holy Fucking Shit Josh Marshall Is The Corn Cob Of The Day

More embarrassing than the dumb porn tweet.  Marshall is a top-tier thirsty striver; he wants to graduate from pissboy so fucking badly.  Plus he's a fatuous neoliberal dipshit, so that makes him funny.  Thanks, Trump!

Gossip Kids Political Club Figures Out That Claire McCaskill Sucks Major Ass

Bye, Felicia.  The Dems won't miss McCaskill--she was as bad as a teabagger on most things.  Fuck her.

AOC, on the other hand, is pretty good so far and should be the model of better, decent or decentish elected Dems going forward.  Pointing out that AOC's priorities are pretty much boring centrist boilerplate is good policy, too.  AOC and her comrades are only called leftists by rock-ribbed reactionary neoliberal establishment Dems shitbags like Claire McCaskill.

Donald Trump Is Dumber Than Dog Shit

That deranged fucker Trump can't even read.  Imagine being the unpaid Liberty University intern who had to explain to Trump what Mad Dog's letter really meant.  Fucking scary.  Mattis was fired by Obama because Mattis kept hopping up on the furniture, dropping his pants, and pissing all over everything while screaming "Iran" over and over in public, but compared to the rest of Trump's people that fucking Mad Dog asshole seems almost sober and/or sane.  Nice.  Thanks, Trump!

Shaun King: Slow Motion Corn Cob

In the end, never completely trust anyone who spells Sean improperly.  The lure of the Obama-fluffing rock-ribbed neoliberal conservative establishment Dem sinecure is a horrible thing.

Imagine Being As Dumb As Amanda Marcotte

And saying out loud that Bernie Sanders had success because he was a charismatic white guy.  That sort of fatuous insanity boggles any mind, but leaves Marcotte completely alone.  Jesus frakking christ on a hoverboard, Sanders was for sure a charisma guy and not an old dude who had been toiling away with the same agenda for like six decades or anything, waiting for the Dems to catch up to him.  Nope.  It was all about his pretty-boy charm and charisma.  And TV skills.  Yep.  Fucking dipshit.  Neoliberal shithead like Marcotte are fucking worse than rectal cancer.

Happy St. Stephen's Day Owen Labrie From Your Friends At Andover, Choate, Deerfield, Exeter, And Hotchkiss

You cannot imagine the orgiastic joy being felt at the other top-tier boarding schools over Owen Labrie.  He's the gift that keeps on giving, and the gift that manages to keep them out of the papers yet another week.  You can't buy better news for those fuckers.  It's a glorious St. Stephen's Day for all!

Beta Cuck Loser Cadet Bone Spurs Finally Visits A Sorta War Zone 55 Years Late

World famous pussy Donald Trump was finally shamed into visiting something like a war zone after missing out for better part of the last six decades.  I wonder how pairs of underpants he went through on the flight before Melania ordered the POTUS diaper installation? 

Roasting QAnon Tards For Fun And Little Profit

Fucking christ on roller skates.  Is it wrong to laugh at the sadness and desperation of these idiots?  Never.  Thanks, Trump!

Joyz Of The Season

Chrismis Story

NY Story

Waitin'

Tis The Season For The Twits To Suck

And some dickface and the OP lock something, something, something.  Probably offended the carbon rim cabal so he was threatened.  But cyclists are the biggest dopes when it comes to believing that newer crap is better because reasons.  Or because something is good/great for one application it must be the best for everything, no matter heavy, dumb, ugly, expensive, useless it is.  Road discs!  Brilliant!  Nobody is a dimwit easy mark quite like a cyclist with money to spend. 

The General Unmans Rock-Ribbed Neoliberal Shitstain John Aravosis

That was easy.  Seldom will humanity witness a drive-by fisking so elegant. 

Like All Conservatives, Caleb Hull Is Very Dumb And Does Not Know How Harvard, SATs, Or Math Work

All, every, any conservative is dumber than dog shit.  It's also nice that Caleb Hull does not understand basic math.  And he's never known a Harvard student if he thinks they're any smarter than an average jerkoff.  Plus, taking the Harvard SAT numbers from a website that sells SAT prep and admissions info is probably a tiny bit naive.  But then again, conservatives are dumber than dog shit.  Good on Boss Hogg going to Harvard if he wants to, though.  Hogg is a famous guy, and elite and elitist institutions like Harvard love fame as much as they love money.

Welcome 2 The House Of Fun

Unexpected Dave Weigel Signal-Boost Of Mark Kozelek

Weigel has atrocious taste in music, but Mark Kozelek is oodles of fun.  Rollercoaster is a fucking tremendous record, and Kozelek's best.

Virag, Can A Limey Cocksucker Be A Corn Cob? J.K. Rowling

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Flaming Out And Proud Not Gay Hetero Harlan Hill Is A Manly Very Stable Genius

Harlan Hil sure seems nice and cosmopolitan and not at all like a creepy frail closet case. Not. At. All.  Smart man that Harlan Hill.  Sparkling intellect.  Husky fucker, too.  All man.  Very normal.  Just another Trump guy.  Sad.  Anybody who says Harlan Hill is a demented little weirdo and screaming fucking moron is wrong.  Wrong!  Thanks, Trump.

Toilet Magnate Matt Whitaker Is Suddenly Very Sick Of So Much Winning

Trump's very own Flush King Matt Whitaker is getting very sick of all that winning pretty fucking quickly.  Maybe Whitaker caught something from a dirty toilet in the White House?  Did he get sick of winning from a filthy Trump toilet?  Did he catch the herpes from Melania or Ivanka?  Sad.  Thanks, Trump!

Day In, Day Out, Year After Year, Bruce K Is A Dick

Just sayin'.  That guy fucking blows.  The worst of the useless twits.  Carry on.

Menz Rites Activist

Another Lively Fisking Of Those Dumb Spot Leaf Spring Bikes

Those bikes are so fucking stupid.  And obviously utter fucking shit.  Sad.  Thanks, Trump!

Why Would Jeff Do A Video On Fork Offset When It's Clear He Has No Idea What He's Talking About?

Jeff Cayley manages to fuck up everything about fork offset, trail, and geometry in a video that must have been very informative to white trash mountain bikers and other gop baggatron cocksuckers.  What poor Jeff doesn't seem to get is that the major benefit of shorter offset is a shorter wheelbase, ESPECIALLY on a bike where the fork length changes.  Jesus.  Suspension fork.  Hello?  Gods damn, people are fucking stupid.  Slacker but keeping the wheelbase as short as you can, that's the key, but Jeff completely misses it.  Does he even know how suspension forks work?  But sure, trust this idiot.  Go ahead.

Eddie The Otter Accomplished More Than Donald Trump

More friends too.  Even though Eddie splashed around most of the time eating fish, dunking balls and playing with his dick, that's a more useful life than Trump.  Sad.

4 Luva Money

David Sirota Did A Journalism And Upset The Fatuous Neoliberal Establishment Dems

Conservative establishment Democrats are like slow, simple children; they need heroes and hate complexity and are frightened of nuance.  Facts are the fucking worst, so when David Sirota acted like a reporter and did reporting about Beto's record, well, it made those neoliberal fuckwits very, very angry.  Every Hillary pissboy and Obama fluffer out there got their big kid pullups pulled all the way up and threw a genuine hissy fit.  It's all that mean old Jew's fault.  If not for the silly old socialist Hillary would have won and everyone would have had that sparkly rainbow pony TBogg promised his idiot kid.  For realz!  Sad.  Thanks, Obama.

In Our Exceptional America, Even A Troll (Or A Bot) Can Be A Corn Cob

What a wonderful time to be alive!  Corn cob's are truly egalitarian!  Thanks, Trump.

Mad Dog Too Fucking Sick Of All That Winning

So much winning for Mad Dog Mattis.  Mad Dog got so sick of winning that he decided to quit.  Like a loser.  Genius!  Another rock-ribbed dipshit checking out.  Thanks, Trump!

Political Song for Gothamist to Sing

Gothamist Completely Bungles The Hot Duck Story

Ducks in zoos are fucking bullshit.  The Hot Duck is running around loose, and that's your fucking story.  Jesus.  The lamestream media sucks ass.

Is There A Bigger Neoliberal Dipshit And Rampant Establishment Pissboy Than John Aravosis? No, There Is Not

Few sniveling noeliberal careerist pissboys snivel or gurgle piss with as much enthusiasm as John Aravosis.  I guess we should be happy for the demented entertainment these rock-ribbed right-wing idiots provide while they destroy our society more effectively than a hundred toothless, web-toed Trumptards.  Imagine being so dumb that you think Beto is a liberal firebrand and not a relatively conservative Democrat with good innate political skills who would be an upgrade in Texas over Cruz or Cornyn?  Well, Aravosis is just that big of a fuckhead.  Fabulous!  Thanks, Trump.

There Sure Are A Metric Fuck Ton Of Dumb Motherfuckers Out There, Matt Smethurst Edition

Not all those crazy stupid motherfuckers are christians, but lots of 'em are.  Jesus motherfrakking christ eating a dollar-store corn dog, America is too fucking inane to live, and risible fundie lunatics like Matt Smethurst are a big reason why.

H.A.Y. Nineteen

Excellent Fisking Of Kamala Harris In Jacobin

Branko Marcetic pummels Kamala Harris because it's both righteous and fun.  Harris ain't gonna win if the good folks have anything to do with it, mostly because she's a lightweight, careerist neoliberal piece of shit.  Win with Booker/Harris or Harris/Booker!  Genius!  Dems are pretty fucking hopeless.

Owen Labrie, Doin' Choate A Solid Once Again

St. Paul's favorite son Owen Labrie is like a one-man army on a mission to keep Steve Farrell and Choate outa the papers.  Thanks, Trump!

Even The Russians Are Dragging Clara Jeffery

Lower than Trump, even.  RT has some fun, because even Russkies deserve to laugh sometimes.  Thanks, Trump piss whores.

Time Zone

Senate Loser Martha McSally Is Getting Ready To Be So Sick Of So Much Winning In 2020

Martha McSally is soon to be a two-time loser.  The only people in Arizona who are gonna hate McSally more than the Dems are the GOP, who will make sure she's a two-time loser in two years' time.  Thanks, Trump!

Meanwhile, Kyrsten Sinema will be the senior senator from AZ.

She?

Clara Jeffery: A Cob's Corn Cob

Time to delete that fucking account, toots.  Jeffery gets brutalized for being a fucking dimwit, and the gods know she deserves it.  Should the real Mother Jones ever find her way back here, Jeffery's will surely be the first ass MJ kicks.  Jeffery is another dopey conservative over privileged mediocre white woman like that Wonkette idiot, Sadie Doyle, Hillary Clinton, and about a billion others who are too stupid and shallow to be allowed vote.  Or drive.  Damn, white people suck.

Imagine Being So Dumb That You Think Kamala Harris Would Be A Good Presidential Candidate

Jesus christ, that's fucking stupid.  I'd rather have the real thing, Willie Brown, instead of the sad neoliberal stand-in Kamala Harris.  The same idiot white women who led Hillary Clinton to losing to Trump are gonna do their best to embarrass the species again next time, too.  There's no shortage of rock-ribbed conservative inanity in the Democratic Party.

Fairly Subdued Drive-By Fisking Of Michelle Obama

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CC: Pride Of Teh Yankees

Sabathia plays the game the way it should be played, like a man--this is why we don't let girls play--and the Yankees understand that.  Good for them.

If Jeebus Raptured All The Twits Into A Toilet At A Rest Stop On The NJ Turnpike, You Would Not Miss Them

They are just fucking useless.  All the wealth, all the privilege of being a white guy in America in the 21st century, and those fucks are simply dumber than rocks.  Gods damn.

Threatin Is Still Better Thank Kanye Or Cardi B.

Or Beyonce.  I didn't even listen to his shitty music, but there's no way this weasel shitbag is any worse than Meghan Trainor or Justin Bieber or Jay Z or Puff Didly.

Budget Ben Ritz Is A Discount Corn Cob

He was not pwned! By those angry lefties. Not. At. All.  That poor dumb bastard discount Ben turned himself into a corn cob and then jammed that fucker right up his own ass.  Sad.  Thanks, Hillary!

Little Mikey Flynn Has Been A Very Bad Boy

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Political Song for Judge Emmett Sullivan to Sing

A Sista's Luv

Break Ing Away Masi

Repro.  From the bottom of the world.

Discount Harry Plinkett Has A Grand Time Shitting On Star Wars

This is an entertaining YouTube video.  It isn't really a discount Mr. Plinkett review at all, but fuck you, too.

Heartfelt Fisking Of Vile Neocon Shitrag The Weekly Standard

Jon Schwarz gets in on the fun kicking Bill Kristol and The Weekly Standard when they're dead.  This is the best of America.  Bill Kristol, Fred Barnes, and The Weekly Standard were the worst of humanity.  Fuck them.  Fuck the rotting corpse of that horrible racist neocon fishwrap.

Radio Spirits

Fun-Filled Fisking Of Jim Hoft, The Dumbest Man On The Internet

Jim Hoft might seem like too-easy of a target, but gods' damn, it's always good clean fun to point and laugh at a disgusting conservative fucktard and literal teabagger.  Jim Hoft deserves no sympathy from any decent life form.  Sad.  Thanks, Trump!

Reminder That Health Care Is Better Anywhere But Here

Signal boost from 2016.  Health care in the US is a scam to enrich a few already rich companies at the cost of human suffering and death.  That's a fucking shitty system.  Even fucking Cuba can figure out how to do great with not much money to spend.  Priorities!  Thanks, Trump.

Talktalk

Twits Know Nothing, John Snowe

The most disgusting thing about upper-class twits: how fucking ignorant and provincial they are.  Twits don't understand France, but that's not much of surprise as useless white people in America might have no experience with anything useful.  Twits don't understand nuclear power, either, but holy shit those over-privileged bastard children of Dunning and Kruger sure as shit think they do.  Recycle the waste!  Genius!  What about the mining and processing?  Huh?  Exactly!  Fucking morons.  Anyone from Indiana is a fucking disgusting asswipe, also.  That's a law.

The Quite Decent Gats Bee

More Masi Blues For Allan

Another Masi, another blue.

Charlie Pierce Goes Off

He's not wrong, you know.  The asylum seekers, fleeing repression, violence, war, poverty mostly caused by exceptional American fuck-ups, those people mostly require dollars worth of basic water and first aid attention at the border, but that is a luxury the miserable evil cocksuckers in charge of our glorious empire refuse to provide because they suck major ass.  If the decent folks in the shabby American hinterland were to stand up for one second and demand decency, well, then things might change.  Until then, you get racist shitbag Republicans killing kids in everyone's name.  Thanks, Trump.

Green New Deal: Not So New And Don't Forget The Green

A Green New Deal is a fabulous concept around which to structure policies to cut the military, curb fossil fuel use, stimulate the economy, and create necessary social programs, but as people have been pointing out, the idea is not as new as the next Congress.  It's been around a while, and the new kids onboard should probably acknowledge a bit of that.  Just sayin'.

And The Cowboys Lost, Too--That's A Tip Top Day

The Cowboys and their fans were heinous garbage people long before Tom Brady was a thing, so it is always good when they get embarrassed on the gridiron.  Racist America's Team can eat a whole container of salted dicks every fucking day of the week!  Thanks, Trump!

Merry Brexit, Limey Fuckers

Ruh-Roh Patsies

At least there's some good left in the world: the Patsies lost again.  No matter how shitty the world gets and no matter how many children are killed by ICE, when the cheaters Patriots lose a game, there's a reason to smile.

Racist Munchkin Stephen Miller Has Aquired Steven Seagal's Hilarious Hairline

That's a good lookin' little guy.  If that greasy undersized petty-fascist bigot had one single friend in this world, said friend would have stopped him from going on the tee vee lookin' like that, but thanks to loving gods, he doesn't so he did.  Fucking brilliant.  Thanks, Trump.

Juul E

Cali Masi

The start of the trouble.  Nice bike, though, done, re-done, and finally un-done again.  Blue again, too.

Ryan Zinke, Clumsy And Incompetent Thief, Super Fucking Sick Of So Much Winning

Too much winning for Zinke.  That poor dumb bastard just couldn't find a way to steal from the government without everybody finding out.  Not a good look.  Thanks, Trump!

Breaking: Fatuous Rock-Ribbed Neoliberal John Judis Is Sorry To See Bill Kristol's Neocon Vanity Fishwrap Go!

Who could believe it??  I for one am so fucking shocked that a life-long conservative establishment pissboy like John Judis would be mourning the vile racist, war-mongering hard-right vanity press fishwrap given to Bill Kristol by his father Irving.  Shocked!  And to think John Judis is in league with a sparkling intellectual rebel like Josh Marshall...

Me Toonz

Kristmiss

Joe Ricketts Is Even Dumber Than Most Rich Guys, Maybe

Could be. Maybe not.  Regardless, Joe Ricketts and his entire stupid family are pretty good examples of why if when we start guillotining oligarchs in the street, the species will not be losing any brainpower whatsoever.  (And if you ever needed more proof that unions are the best thing mankind has ever come up with and still won't believe it, well, fuck you, too, Joe.)

Wicked Wicked Midnite

Please, Jeebus, Give Us Chief Of Staff Newt Gingrich

What a sweet roiling clusterfuck of inanity Newt would be!  If Jeebus was a god who loved us so fucking much, he would put Newt Gingrich into the job.  Trump and Newt together would be so fucking insane that it would rip a giant hole in reality and implode the universe.  Come on, Jeebus, ya' fucker.

Rollicking Fisking Of Human Dung Beetle Jonathan Chait

Well-known super genius Jonathan Chait has all the depth of a bottle cap, but that doesn't mean the universe should miss an opportunity to take a toxic greasy shit all over him.  Of course a pampered lap dog like Chait is scared for his job because some of the smelly proles decide to organize.  Of course.  That's why owners pamper certain pets.  Chait is nothing more than a very bad dog.

Bomber Aerospace Materials

1977 Confente

I like the blue.  Apparently some paint repair was done by Jim Cunningham, so...

Fatuous Jerkoff David Fahrenthold, Fan Of Eric 'Game Theory' Garland, Is A Yuge Corn Cob

Time to delete your account, asshole.  It's nice that David Fahrenthold is not shy about consistently outing himself as a fucking nimrod, just like his buddy Eric Garland.  Thanks, Trump!

Michael Cohen Has Three Years To Get Even More Sick Of So Much Winning

How many more Trumptards are goin' to prison before Trump is the last one left?  I really wanna see Uday or Qusay throw Trump under the bus.  That would be the most fun ever.  Thanks, Trump!

Picking At The Greasy Bones, Mario

 Hey! I remember when that was going down in real time on the CR list.  Fun times.  I don't know these folks, but Jim Cunningham always seemed a bit off but that might have been the fact that his refinishing was always about the most expensive you find when I was young and poor.  That said, Brian Baylis always seemed really off, especially his fucking ugly and tacky baroque road frame stylings.  And now after the recent Charles Nighbor, who was also part of the original threads on the CR list--Hi! Charles--rant about Brett Kavanaugh via email outed both CR Dale and Lou Deeter as nasty fucking conservative shitbags, well, Jim Cunningham suddenly seems like the way more sympathetic and credulous character in this little morality play.  But who knows.  Baylis is dead and Jim Allen is not giving us much else to go on.  All I know right now is that fucking racist conservatives like Brown and Deeter can eat a giant bag of salted dicks for all I care no matter what bikes they like or what they've done in the past, and I would never believe a word they say on any topic.  Fuck them. 

Heart Of Mekon

Here's An Idea: No More Ass Clowns Like John Timmer Writing About Bikes

Genius!  This dope Timmer clearly doesn't ride and doesn't know shit about bikes.  All the stuff he talks about as major changes to road bike design amounts to shiny baubles when considered against the history of what we would call road racing bikes.  Now, if he'd talked about racing mountain bikes, like modern enduro and downhill bikes especially, with a short history of design and use and lots of useful and useless innovations and changes over that same short time, well, maybe, but that's not what he's talking about, so fuck him.

Don't Forget About Animatronic Corn Cob Jack Burkman--He Solved The Seth Rich Murder

And as soon as Burkman and Jacob Wohl stop jerking each other off, they're gonna tell the rest of the world all about their Hardy Boys adventure.  Sad.  Thanks, Trump!

Conservatives Ruin Everything And Dave Cullen Is A Fucking Imbecile

This is easily the dumbest Idiocracy take you'll ever find.  Conservatives are too stupid to understand anything, especially satire and social commentary, so Dave Cullen is hella fucked on this.  Idocracy is far from a perfect movie, but Dave Cullen is such a fucking maroon that he doesn't understand that the people being so viciously insulted in the flick are people just like him.  Brilliant!

Light-Hearted Gossip Kids Story Of Poisoning America For Fun And Profit

Get the gods-damned government out of our freedom!  Red tape destroys innovation!  Faceless bureaucrats are evil!  The free market will solve all our problems!  The IRS is unconstitutional!  America has the greatest health care system in the world!  Venezuela!  Benghazi!  Deep State!  QAnon!

Lively Fisking Of The Creepy John Kyl

David Dayen skins John Kyl alive just for fun.  Kyl is a fucking demented GOP creep, and everyone should know what a shitbag he is. 

Rock-Ribbed Racist Conservative GOP Baggatron Cocksukers Live In A Delusional Deranged Right-Wing Dystopia

It's a sick, sad world for those demented fucks.  There's nothing more disgusting than a teabagger.  Thanks, Trump!

Every Other Member Of The Cast Of Stargate: Atlantis Should Have Had A Part In Aquaman, Too.

That woulda been badass. Aquaman, Atlantis, it all fits.  And I'm sure discount Richard Dean Anderson, discount Jennifer Lopez, Kate Hewlett's brother, discount woman in charge, the Russian guy, Jewel Staite would have loved the gig.  They put John Crichton in the GOTG flick.

Any Day Now, Definitely Not-Dead JFK Jr. Will Be Coming To Save Us All

With Trump, jesus, Mueller, Alex Jones.  It will be great.  JFK Jr. is definitely not dead.  Not dead at all.  Where we go one fucking asshole, all the other fucking retards go 2.  MAGA!  Thanks, Trump.

Post-Mersh Vol. 282

This Is A Quality Product Review Of The RokBlok

With bonus Thinking Fellers Union Local 282 content.  First, the frogs, and now the records...

The Meta Particle

Heartfelt Fisking Of Rasmussen Reports

Teabaggers like to pretend that Rasmussen is the most accurate pollster, so it is loverly that CNN decided to take a giant toxic greasy dump all over those demented fucks.  Rasmussen is a part of the right-wing propaganda machine and are the exact opposite of an accurate polling outfit.  I'm sure the baggatron cocksuckers were infinitely butthurt over this brutal fisking.  Sad.  Thanks, Trump!

Obama's Legacy On Health Care Will Be As Awful As Clinton's And Every Republican's

Obama will go down as one of the worst presidents ever, but not for the imbecilic racist reasons the baggatron cocksuckers always bring up.  Being a blah was not Obama's problem; being a shitty rock-ribbed conservative who enabled and empowered the worst conservatives in America was Obama's problem.  Now is the time for the Dems to make Single Payer an absolute litmus test for their party.  Don't hold your breath.

Baggatron Cocksuckers Are So Dumb That They Don't Know The Difference Between Weather And Climate

Conservatives will always believe every lie they're told because they are too stupid to know any better.  Baggatron cocksuckers are the lowest form of life in the known universe.  Sad.  Thanks, Trump!

Burning For Youz

A Moped Called Johnny

Punk's not dead, fuckers.  Not dead!  But old.  Still fun, though.  Certainly a sense of unbridled dumb fun ages waayyy better than plodding self-importance, brainless histrionics, or unintentional self-parody.  That's not nothing. 

Nick Ayers Is Pretty Fucking Sick Of So Much Winning At This Point

So much winning is making a shitload of Republicans very fucking sick.  How can they stand much more winning?  Sad.  Thanks, Trump!

The Dolphins Do The Lords' Work Against The Patsies

For once, jesus decides to not be a fucking dick.  When the Patsies lose, a purring cuddly kitten gets some scritches. 

Gavin McInnes Is Sick To Fucking Death Of All The Winning

Gavin McInnes, a boy who is very proud to be a barely-closeted case, is so very sick of so much motherfucking winning.  First, Gavin won with his gay little online website, then he won lots with his petty-fascist gay boy's club, and now he won again with Glenn Beck's Nazi hoedown.  That's a fuck ton of winning!  Thanks, Trump!

Out Of Minds

NC-09 Is Pointing The Way For Dem's Dominance

Hit voter suppression and GOP election fraud hard.  Anyone could win with that, even the Dems.  If they want.  If...

HamNo is on the case.

QAnon's Implosion After The Midterms Was A Sin Against Comedy

The GOP shitshow in the midterm election really eviscerated the QAnon nonsense.  Once Trump and the Republicans were exposed as bumbling senile dipshits, it seemed that most of the fun went out of that QAnon insanity, so ably embodied by the braying asswipe Martin Geddes.  Where they went on, they were all so fucking stupid.  Sad.  The QAnon assholes were relentlessly wrong and gloriously bugfuck nutty; that combo is beautiful, beautiful thing, and we will miss that extra spark of inanity that QAnon once delivered.  But don't worry dotards, Q and Trump and Mueller and Jeff Sessions are just about to open eleventy billion FISA warrants any day now and take out the deep state pedophile cannibal cabal and send Hillary and Obama and Bush and Jim Acosta and all the rest to prison awaiting very public hangings.  Any. Fucking. Day. Now...

Why Are We Not Hearing Much More About This Alan Dershowitz Jeffrey Epstein Atrocity

Dershowitz was and is a fucking criminal, so why isn't this the big or a big story out there?  If any sick fucking pervert deserves to be taken out of circulation before the other sick fucking perverts, it's Alan Dershowitz.  Thanks, Trump!

Lively Fisking Of Ross Douthat

Poor little Ross Douthat does not really make friends, apparently.  Nobody likes the little creep even a little bit, and it shows.  And it's hilarious, so that makes it great.  Thanks, Trump!

Ever Longing

Pete Shelley: So Many Great Songs

Only 63.  But there were so many great songs.  And the influence on so much good music made in the 40+ years since.  RIP Pete Shelley.

Oranges Are Not The Only Corn Cobs

Jesus friggin' crispy.  This shit is sad.  Anyone can just drag that poor stupid fucker, and there's nothing he can do about it.  Sad.

RIP Pete Shelley

Buzznhowl'd

A Babby Song

Somewhere The MySpace Folks Are Laughing Their Asses Off

Facebook: If you didn't know it was fucking bullshit from day one, please kill yourself.  Hell, Zuckerberg even ripped off the name of his gay website from the actual printed Facebook with pictures of the freshmen in it that you got at the start of every year, routinely called the Pig Book, so, everybody probably should have known how it would end.  Yet plenty of masters of the universe types were happy to throw money at that fucking garbage, so the suicide booths should be quite busy for a good long while.

Twits Know Nothing, But Like Most White People, They Think They Are Experts

Jesus, twits are fucking clueless.  And white people suck.  We all know this, but somehow upper-class dolts on the Serotta Forum have enjoyed so much privilege and yet are so fucking dim.  Sad.  Thanks, Trump!

Democrats Are Too Stupid To Live

In the end, most Dems are gossip kids.  Al Franken certainly understands the vacuity of rank and file Dems and elected Dems and Dem pundits.  In the end, if this woo-hoo Indian thing leads to a Sanders candidacy instead of a Warren candidacy, well, that's good.  Otherwise, the Dems are so dumb that they deserve Trump. 

Neera Tanden: Corn Cob

Tanden is an idiot and neoliberal scumsucker of titanic proportions.  She's the Dems' personal walking talking rectal cancer.  Still, I know Liz Bruenig is a bit of a pint-sized it girl right now amongst the entry level establishment "liberal" Dems cool kid Dems on the interwebs, but she's a fucking lightweight.  She comes across as comically provincial in general, and nobody with her insane religious beliefs could be considered a vital lefty or even a vital centery anywhere but the Washington Post.  It doesn't take a fucking genius to say that Beto is perhaps not the ideal Dem presidential candidate or to dunk on Neera Tanden, but I guess there's no fighting fashion, but this is probably not the time to be dragging anyone who is a Sanders supporter, so...

Sticky Note

Ross Douthat Is An Odd Little Man

Bill Buckley homoeroticism is the least-weird thing about Ross Douthat.  Hell, getting all wet and sticky over some inane idea of WASPy patrician manners is probably the second least-weird thing about that little creep.  Douthat is a fairly typical upper-class, rock-ribbed reactionary failson who owes everything he has to his family and their connections and nothing to any intelligence, talent, or skill.  So, the Bill Buckley naked on a boat thing is pretty much typical for those nasty fuckers.

Your Dad's Band Could Be Your Life: History Lesson Part 2B

Duh! Who Didn't Know Hillary Clinton Was The Whore Of Babylon?

But who was the whore of Babylon 5? G'Kar?  We may never know the answer to these important questions, but tune in next time for another exciting episode of Bullshit, or Not?

That Dead Bastard George H.W. Bush Was A Fucking War Criminal, And Don't Forget Clarence Uncle Thomas

Bush was a vile monster who started the Gulf War and gave us Clarence "Uncle" Thomas on the SCOTUS.  And that's just the beginning.  The hagiography has been grotesque indeed.  Who can forget Willie Horton.  CIA death squads.  James Baker.  Iran-Contra.  His retard kid.  The other fucking scumbag Jeb.  Neil, Marvin, and the Silverado Savings and Loan.  That vile harpy Quaker Oats bitch he was married to.  Bush was every bit as hateful and racist a conservative fucktard as Reagan or Trump or any of those bastards.  They're all horrible reactionary, war-mongering assholes.

George H.W. Bush should have met his end at the end of a rope in The Hague. 

Michael Flynn Was A VERY Cooperative Boy For Robert Mueller

Michael Flynn: Stool pigeon.  I guess "General" Flynn was too big of a pussy to do the time so he snitched like a bitch to Big Bob Mueller.  Trump hires only the best people, only the most disloyal stoolies and greasy rats he can find.  Heh, indeedy.  Sad.  Thanks, Trump!

Those QAnon Dumbfucks Have Had A Very Bad 5 Dec.

Nothing.  Nobody got arrested.  No Trump vanquishing his enemies.  No jesus.  Nada.  Zip.  Zilch.  I think it's possible this QAnon thing is bullshit.  Sad.  Thanks, Q!

Political Song for Donald Trump to Sing

Heartfelt Tribute To Paul Sherwen With Absolutely No Talk Of Motorola/US Postal And Lance Armstrong

Weird, that.  Phil and Paul were at ground zero of the whole Armstrong scheme with all the fine feathered folks on the Motorola and US Postal teams, and yet, it's somehow like the absolute devotion of the voices of bike racing in America had nothing to do with perpetuating the big lie that Team Armstrong was selling to the world.  Very weird, that.

Bill Kristol And The Weekly Standard Are Very Sick Of All The Winning

Too much fucking winning for Bill Kristol and his dumb vanity press reactionary fishwrap.  How can a fatuous conservative legacy kid not be able to make it in this cruel world of racists and Nazis and other disgusting conservative assholes.  Sad.  Thanks, Trump!

That Baby Song

Decent Long-Form Gossip Kids Politics Club On The Hateful Racist Rightwing History Of North Carolina

And the South in general.  North Carolina and the white people there--and amazingly enough even Florida 30 years ago--seemed almost ready to crawl up from the filth of the Confederacy and begin to comport themselves like a civilized society because of education and technology and improvement in general, but the fear and racism and christian insanity was too strong a pull, and the whites remained too ignorant and easy to manipulate at the hands of the GOP.   Now, the entire region is so far gone into a racist teabagging hell hole after the Obama years that it will be another century before they might be redeemed.  That seems like an awful lot of trouble for the rest of us, so instead we should be looking for our very own modern General William Tecumseh Sherman to be the hero America truly needs in order to rid ourselves of the problem once and for all.  And 150 years too late.

Nobody Ask This Idiot Where Lots Of Electrical Generation Comes From

Jesus, people are fucking dumb.  Depending on where you live, your electric car might be the stupidest idea ever.  Until we eliminate commercial fission generation and transition to the cleanest and most efficient and renewable sources, well, fuck you.

I Would Not Want To Live In This Little Apartment After These Two Were Done With It

Spork

I Thought Mexico Was Payin' For Trump's Wall?

What happened to the art of that deal? Mexico ain't payin'?  Trump was wrong?  He was talking out his ass?  He was fucking flat-out lying?  Sad.  Spoiler alert: They will never be any wall.  Racist teabaggers are the dumbest motherfuckers on the planet.  Thanks, Trump!

Reminder: Vacuous Dolt Sady Doyle

Humanity will never rid itself of dead weight like Sady Doyle.  We'd have colonized the universe 10,000 years ago if we didn't have helpless idiots like her holding us back.  Sad.  Thanks, Hillary.

Don't Tell The Gossip Kids About The Dem Leadership On The Hill

Shocker!  What should be the story, though, is that Schumer is easily a few billion orders of magnitude worse than Nancy Pelosi.  Just sayin'.

You Did Not Need Reminding That The Boston Red Sox Suck Harder Than Anything Ever

Butchu got it.  The entire Red Sox organization is the worst expression of human existence in the history of life on this planet.  Sad.

The 90s Are Seething On Line 2

Oh, Gods The Fucking Twits Are Reactionary Scum

That joosttx shtibrain and the pussy William and the other right-wing fucktards are really fucking gross.  A few of the decent fellows shit on the disgusting gobbling of dead Bush's knob, but overall the twits are reactionary dimwits who are also disgusting human beings.  Fuck them.  Fuck them in the eye holes.  Rich white people are beyond useless.  Serotta Forum twits are too stupid to live.

Donald Trump Jr. Life Goals

Sam Seder's War On Christmas Was Probably The High Point Of CNN

Breaking: Nobody Ever Remind Olivia Nuzzi That George Bush And John McCain And All Republicans And Conservatives Are Vile Hateful Racist Cocksuckers

Don't say bad things about hateful reactionary villains.  That's not cool.  Be cool.  Be nice to revanchist demagogues and liars.  Always.

Only Murderous Zionist Scum (And CNN) Are Dumb Enough To Say Criticism Of Terroist Apartheid State Isreal Is Anti-Semitism

Temple grad, shameless self-promoter, and former Fox "News" "Democrat" Marc Lamont Hill accidentally said a true thing about terror-state Israel.  Oops.  Now the teabagging zionist shitheads are trying get him more fired, and the endowed chair at Temple for some guys who are on the TV is all that's keeping him from being fired again.  The guy's right about Palestine, though. 

Imagine how fucking apoplectic Temple and Pat O'Connor would be if their favorite son/best buddy Bill Cosby had said this...

Themey: I Know He's Still Dead And All, But Jeez SEK Was A Dunce

Purposely ignoring the actual criticism to complain someone is being mean and sweary, then being a patronizing asswipe until the actual criticism gets re-explained with smaller words and shorter sentences, and then running away is a wicked weak move, but, you know, welfare academia and all, where academic and intellectual rigor make hot monkey sects with Dunning and Kruger.  Was reminded of this many years ago, and well, fuck him.  Dick.  That's too harsh, I know, and the guy didn't deserve to die over it or anything.  I'm sure he was very nice.  But somehow Scott Eric Kaufman was a great guy and that tedious idiot Freddie deBoer is a fucking philistine. 

Mike McCarthy, Heh Indeedy

Where in Buffalo or Los Angeles will he be coaching next season?  There are only like 20 guys who can be head coaches, so Mike McCarthy has to go somewhere!  Who knew that CTE was contagious.

Thematic: Paul Sherwen Dead At 62

Paul Sherwen has died.  For the USA folks for whom all bike racing was the Tour on TV, Paul Sherwen and Phil Ligget were the only voices they ever heard.  First reported this afternoon in the USA.

Limey Cocksucker Or Corn Cob? Why Not Both

Better off as a parody: Jaspar Carmichael-Jack.  This creepy fucktard is here to prove to you that just because you're an inbred Brit, you can always be a reactionary stooge as well.  Brilliant!

Near-Vana

Hey, That Horrible Bastard George HW Bush Is Dead

See you in hell, Buckaroo Banzai.  George "The Real President" Bush was a vile war criminal, all around disgusting conservative fuckface, and father of the year every fucking year.  As Republicans go, Bush was as big a loathsome and hateful creep as any of them, and the world is better off with him dead, but as usual, it was about a hundred years too late.