Andrew Cockburn Dismantles Obama's Democratic Party Legacy In Harper's

A brutal and well-deserved fisking.  Obama was a shitty Democrat, one of the worst in history.  Because of Obama, the Democrats lost all their power and their direction.  The party looked to Obama for leadership, and he failed miserably.  Certainly did well by his own brand, though.

A Volvo Story, So Far

Volvo was never as good as Saab, but Volvo's still here.  Volvo will never return to their best days, as Chinese crap is always going to be Chinese crap even if it's no longer crap some day.  For today, Volvo is extant.

Eventually California, Or One Of The Other Good States, Will Go With Single-Payer

And that will commence the national rush.  Of course, given the way this dump goes, it will be some sort of crisis which initiates the new scheme, pretty much forcing it to be as difficult and disjointed as possible, but that's racing.

Regardless, whichever state goes first, whether it's California or not, will immediately become the most economically desirable state in the nation, and all the other states will be forced to follow suit.  Texas and Florida and California and Illinois and Pennsylvania could not compete if New York had single-payer and they didn't.  The reddest Republican hellhole would institute single-payer immediately or lose every job to the better states.

And of course Jerry Brown doesn't want to lead the way and sign the bill or want to have to veto it because he's a coward looking for his next big industry payday, just like all politicians.  Of course he played politics with this and with people's lives.  It's up to the Dems in California to force the issue and make their leadership release the bill, and if they can't, well, then they weren't ready.

Political Song for Pop Stars to Sing

Pretty Good Longer Article On Lip-Syncing

Pro tip: manufactured pop music will always be 100% garbage.  The dancing is fucking awful every fucking time, and the idiots on stage can't sing OR dance worth a shit, so fuck 'em.  Just gimme indie rock!

Beautiful, Wonderful, Brave American Patriots Hate NYC As Much As They Love Freedom!

Of course exceptional American patriots would try to bring a little freedom to godless, faggy places like Jew York City!  NYC doesn't properly love jesus and freedom and shit, so the only way to help 'em is to fucking shoot 'em!  NRA!  NRA!  NRA!!!

Now Germany's Gayer Than Obama

Gayer than Trump in J. Edgar Hoover's nightie. Gayer than Bill O'Reilly jerking off while phone sexing an Indochinese ladyboy. Gay.  Der Krauts are gonna let the mos get married once and for all in their Aryan utopia.  Good for them.  Let der gay Krauts go the chapel, Angela!  Merkel didn't vote for it, but she kept her position intact going into der Kraut election season. 

Tour Time Again, And The Gossip Kids Are On It

Kudos for some honest love of the sport by at least one of 'em + the green light to publish.  Maybe professional cycling will be the thing all the kids love to watch soon.  Or not.  Whatevs.

Political Song for Tiny Men to Sing

Time To Admit That Trump Doesn't Like Girls

He's a weird greasy smear of a man.  Mika's got her own problems, mostly surviving her relationship with Joe "Dead Intern" Scarborough, but Trump's a frightened little micro-penised fucker.

Boxy'd Lady

Jesus, Fucking Sparrows Are The Most Noise Per Ounce Of Any Animal In The Fucking Galaxy

Constant noise from a thing that weighs less than a common booger.  Jesus. 

Quiet World

Mitch McConnell: Another Loser Republican Cucked By Trump

Trump killed the GOP; it's taken this long for some of you to notice.  How's that Obamacare repeal going, boys?  (And how many positions in Trump's administration are not even filled yet so nothing is getting done at all for anyone in the conservative movement?)  Now McConnell can't pass an Obamacare repeal before the recess knowing full well that after the recess the chances of passage quickly approach zero.  This is some stupendous and lovely ineptitude and failure on the part of the GOP simply because Trump has cut out their guts, and they're too weak to do anything.  Thanks Trump.

Jim Messina Bobs Up--Big Mistake

Messina got off lightly.  So, he really should have deleted his account, but he didn't, and we're all enriched by enjoying the carnage.  Now, let's see, a major Obama insider goes to work for Trump's main ally in the UK then comes home after getting his ass beat down gloriously and somehow is against Trump's agenda?  Makes sense.  Jim Messina is Obama's boy.  He supports Trump's #1 international friend Theresa May in the UK but is part of the anti-Trump resistance in the US.  That's fucking some grade-A, free-range bullshit right there.  Messina and Obama are both vile neoliberal garbage people.  Fuck them.

Thinspo

Rock-Ribbed Conservative Hillary Supporters Like Candace Aiston Are The Biggest Morons On The Planet

First off you fucking idiot: BERNIE WOULD HAVE WON! YOUR HILLARY LOST TO FUCKING DONALD TRUMP EVEN AFTER THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY WORKED EIGHT FUCKING YEARS TO GET HER ELECTED AND PREVENTED THE MORE POPULAR CANDIDATE FROM WINNING IN THE PRIMARIES!

Anywho, this fucking reject Candace Aiston doesn't know much about anything, but she knows even less about health care.  A single-payer system is a comprise hybrid system to preserve private ownership of healthcare practices and hospitals with a single payment mechanism using tax dollars.  IT'S ALREADY A HYBRID/COMPROMISE SYSTEM so there's no need to preserve the private insurance sector.  Some places do, but it doesn't help anything.  Some countries also have National Health, but SINGLE-PAYER IS ALREADY THE COMPROMISE.

As the US is under the influence of insurance and pharmaceutical money, single-payer will not happen until the panic sets in and the health care infrastructure is collapsing.  It will a desperate expansion of Medicare, but it will work.

Poor stupid Candace Aiston and her friends are all hard right-wingers, so we don't need to listen to them at all.  Single-payer is the cheapest, easiest way to universal coverage, and it is supported by more than 80% of the American electorate.  All that is required is either leadership and political will or a horrible crisis.  We'll get the crisis, but whatevs.

Aiston hates Sanders, the most popular politician in America.  She hates Assange, an enemy of the American empire.  I think we know all we need to about how disgusting and wrong about every fucking thing Candace Aiston is.

We Need To Develop A Vaccine Against The Kennedys

The Kennedys are an ass cancer, and the USA needs a vaccine to prevent Kennedys everywhere.  It would be great if the vaccine worked against Bushes, Clintons, Sununus, Cuomos, Hunters so that we can cure America of its raging political ass cancers.

Obama Is Gay. Totally Gay. Gay.

It's a fact. Gay.  Bathhouse Barry is a gay.  A black gay.  Totally gay.  And Muslim.  A Muslim gay.  A gay Muslim.  Black.  Blackity black.  And his wife is a man.  A man wife.  A wife man.  Proven fact.  Obama = gay.  Michelle = man.  True facts.  Black gay Muslim Obama.  Not even an exceptional American.  True.  Not really president.  Fact.  No birth certificate.  Kids are fake.  Kids = fake.  Fact.  True fact.

Refurb The Cat Understands More About Politcs Than Imani Gandi Or Donald Trump

The US would be better off if Refurb decided the health care policy.  In fact, any three-legged cat is worth more than the entire disgusting right-wing political establishment in Washington.

Let's Take Imani Gandy, Jen Kirkman, Eric Garland, And Al Giordano And Fire Them Into The Sun

And then blow up the sun because it is now tainted with their toxic inanity.  That would be, as they say, a good start.  Gandy is the world's most incompetent angry black lawyer woman, and we all know the other fools, too.  They're worse than the racist fucknozzles who love Trump.  Remember when Gandy was hanging around John Cole's house of horrors?  Or when she was working for a company forcing foreclosures on poor people?  Good times.  She seems nice.

English Dressing

Grover Norquist Delete Your Account

Sure, Eric Garland misses the point and is too stupid to be any fun, but the rest of Twitter gets rolling and turns Norquist's inane tweet into a vicious auto-fisking.  Well done, Twitter machine.  Well done.

Brutal Jon Ossoff Fisking

'Neoliberal Dems suck ass' pretty much covers it.  Ossoff was a joke, but the Dems defying any move even one millimeter to the left no matter how many times they lose is the big story.  The Dems suck.  Fuck them in their eye holes.

Tebow IS America

Complete loser, laughably incompetent, sad, pathetic, jesus-fluffing nitwit who is everything America is and so much less.  All hail Tebow, your shitstain god of futility.

Radio Friendly Hit Maker

Freedom Rawks

Twitter Is A Place For Great Americans

Telling some addle-headed teabaggers on Twitter you were abducted by Pizzagate is the greatest use of interwebs technology in human history. Or something. It's good, anyway.  This fucking guy should get some sort of fabulous cash prize and a freedom medal.  Joe Prince is a great American.

Jen Kirkman: American Idiot

Simpleton comedian is dumb.  Stop the presses.  A shocking American story.  But when you retweet Eric Garland, that makes you what might candidly be called special.  Deleting them doesn't save you after everyone makes fun of you for being a fucking dimwit.  Jen Kirkman is special.

5. JEN KIRKMAN Retweeted

   Eric Garland‏Verified account @ericgarland 1h1 hour ago
   

   Replying to @ericgarland

   He wanted to be the President. This is one of the greatest NatSec threats in our history. He's talking about The Dems.

   14 replies 72 retweets 285 likes
7. JEN KIRKMAN Retweeted

   Eric Garland‏Verified account @ericgarland 1h1 hour ago
   
Sanders benefitted from Russian active measures, from Fake News to Wikileaks dumps. Has he made any major condemnations of Russia?
104 replies 318 retweets 761 likes
9. JEN KIRKMAN Retweeted

   Eric Garland‏Verified account @ericgarland 1h1 hour ago
   
Replying to @ericgarland
He ran as a Democrat. The Democrats were targeted. We're now just hearing how much. Bernie's saying the Dems are as bad as Trump.
17 replies 83 retweets 264 likes
11. JEN KIRKMAN Retweeted

    Eric Garland‏Verified account @ericgarland 1h1 hour ago
    
Replying to @ericgarland
And now, he's talking about how The Democratic Party is this huge problem as landmark stories of Russian interference come out.
18 replies 80 retweets 284 likes
13. JEN KIRKMAN Retweeted

    Eric Garland‏Verified account @ericgarland 1h1 hour ago
    
Replying to @ericgarland
Sure, there are a couple stock "We can't have Russia interfering..." but did I miss any major statements or speeches about this from him?

Rock-Ribbed Neoliberal Dems Are The Scum Of The Universe

Fuck the entire Dem establishment in the eye holes.  The Dems are as bad as the GOP; Washington is a fetid one-party toilet.  Maybe when the majority stops voting for candidates who refuse to represent them, we'll see some exceptional real change we can believe in.

Unions Would Be The Backbone Of A Truly Prosperous America

How's that working out?  Neoliberal scum like the Clintons fear unions more than anything, as the union movement is the foundation of preventing wealth transfer to the richest Americans.  Republicans hate unions because the union movement provides security and dignity to working people and makes them much less likely to fall for the lies of the conservatives.  Hamilton Nolan is on the beat.  Better than Hamilton, too.

Never Dug The Rickenbacker Fireglo, Atmo

Not a fan of the furniture bass, either, but the iconic Fireglo never did it for me.

Eric Garland Is Every Bit As Unhinged As Al Giordano Or Joy Reid

But some of the lamebrains who follow him are just amazing!  Jesus christ, it's astounding that so many people are so fucking helpless and stupid.  FreeDUMB!

Bernie would have won.  

MMMM...Puke Wine

Boone's Farm.  Jesus.  Anything that sweet...that you...good gods, no.  No.  Kids are dumb and will drink anything though.  Or, would drink anything back in the day.

The Fathers' Love

Does Ted Rall Think The Neoliberal DLC Dems Want To Win Elections?

He can't really believe that.  Rall probably understands that Dem leadership is about preventing center-left candidates from being elected.  Neoliberal Dems are pretty much on board with the totality of the GOP agenda, so winning is not that important to those Dems.  As long as Sanders and other practical, popular, centrists don't influence American politics, the Dem establishment is fine with losing most of the time.

Ask Not What Your IUD Can Do For You

Just shut the fuck up and make me a sammich, slut.  Real Americans don't care about some cunt's pain or bleeding or any of that shit.  America cares about guns and beer and big giant tits and beer and guns and beer and guns.  Bitches just want to complain about shit and make real Americans pay for their slut paraphernalia.  Shut up, whores.  Go whimper in pain and bleed somewhere else.  After you get that sammich.

White Or Pink

How Many Fucking Pink Days Are There?

Jesus.  Pink's gotta figure out what fucking day it wants and stick with it.  Fucker.

'Han Solo' Gets Opie

That's not good.  Has Opie ever directed a good movie?  I can't think of one.  Some of his flicks are not wretched, but Opie lacks any sort of unique talent or vision or idea.  At this point Disney just wants to print money, and Opie certainly knows how to make an utterly pedestrian movie-like thing unlikely to offend anyone's sensibilities.  Workmanlike.  Bland.  Anodyne.  Banal.  Boring.  1 billion dollars.

Tokyo Don't Cry

The French Political Situation Is Really Fucked Up

Huge numbers of non-voters and a hard-right neoliberal technocrat asshole make a recipe for disaster, and the Frogs are going to be struggling for years to undo all the damage Macron does.  Not exactly what you'd call a vibrant democracy in action.  The fucking Krauts are probably pretty psyched about the whole scenario, tho. 

Bruce Gardner Starring In 'Always Take The Deal'

A sad, short failure of life for Bruce Gardner.  He knew that he should have taken that deal.  He knew that once it was gone, he was doomed.  His life was short and unhappy, a failure.  His story was very American.  If you're good enough to have a shot at greatness, take the fucking deal every fucking time.

All-American Freedom Ain't What You Think

America was never all that free.  Anti-democratic institutions like the Senate and Electoral College define the government, and the law was never in favor of the Bill of Rights.  Freedom is a lie for children.  FREEDUMB is what America has always been about.

Lucia Joyce

What was her problem?  Society certainly wasn't ready for Lucia Joyce, any more that it was ready for her father, but at least JAJ had his patrons.  And he was a man.  No such luck for Lucia.

Jeremy Corbyn Might Be The Greatest Limey Fuck Who Ever Lived

Admittedly a stunningly low bar, but Jezza is living in the minds of political observers all over the world now and making it possible for some yuge dullards with outsized influence to imagine a return to a left-wing utopia in the west, or at least a dialing back to the pre-Clinton, pre-Blair days when not every single fucking person in the establishment was an utterly vapid pissboy or a vile, monstrous, reactionary mental midget.  Fun stuff.

Get rid of that king and queen shit, too.  Jesus, you limey cocksuckers are fucking embarrassing with that lame bullshit.

Out Here

Staid Forever

The Gossip Kids Are Not Experts On Bicycles Or Cycling

Times you should ignore the gossip kids: Bernie Sanders; Wikileaks; politics; cycling.  Don't do it.  Don't listen to the Serotta Forum twits, either.

Maybe A Little More Sanders/Corbyn And A Little Less Obama/Clinton/Ossoff

Maybe that's how you lead.  Maybe that's how you win for the people.  Bold, fearless, and unashamed.  Or we could do the same vile Obama-style neoliberal bullshit until the society is in tatters.  The pool, the pond.

The Dems Nominate Shit Candidates Because They Are Incompetent Republicans

A hard-right Dem leadership will only continue to lose.   Because winning doesn't matter to them.  Supporting the rulers matters to them; protecting their sinecures matters to them; preventing any non-conservatives winning office matters to them.  Not health care.  Not the economy.  Not anything besides what the Kochs and the Mellons and the DuPonts and Olins and Coors and the rest of the vile shitstains want.  That's the Democratic Party, and they are in no meaningful way opposed to GOP rule or GOP ideals.

Bike Poop

Hah. I get it.  Poop joke.  Anywho, it's the bacteria that are the key, so I guess it will really be yogurt doping and not poop doping once they figger out how to grow the beneficial little buggers and stick 'em in yog-ert.  Poop.

The Dumbest Thing Ever Written By A Former Mitt Romney And Ben Carson Staffer

I guess it's nice that Romney and Carson decided to hire staffers like Shermichael "Sherm" Singleton who were otherwise unemployable due to mental infirmity.  But usually you have them licking envelopes.  Somebody should explain that shit to Romney and Carson.  Both of whom are probably also underqualified to lick envelopes now that I think about it.

Sanctified

For Fuck's Sake, Can The Gossip Kids Even Read?

The fucking book's been out for 30+ years.  You don't even have to read it.  You can read ABOUT it, but only if you can fucking read.  Jesus.  Fucking dopes.

Health Care Is So Fucked Up That Even Ezra Klein Can Start To Figure It Out

Klein is one obtuse motherfucker, so you know it's a shit show when Klein can see the truth.  The USA is about to undergo a butt-fucking over health care, but when the Dems finally do the right thing it will be because the whole society is unraveling, and the Dems are panicked.  It will have nothing to with the best, most efficient way to deliver universal heath care or anything.  Nope.

The Grandest Fucking Imbeciles Who Ever Lived Walk Among Us Today

Information warfare expert!  Hee.  And I am a glorious beautiful ruler of the sky on Saturn.  How the fuck can anyone this fucking stupid and unhinged be allowed to run around loose?  Cocaine is a hell of a drug.  This poor idiot woman needs medical help.  She has some sort of mental defect where nonsense word-salad and loony jargon spill from her mouth all the fucking time.

How's that consulting business going, asshole?

For Fucks Sake, Don't Pay Attention To The Gossip Kids When They Talk About Jill Stein

The gossip kids do not do nuance or reality, so don't bother trying to get them to understand anything.  In their simplistic gossip kids world, Jill Stein is bad, and that's about all they can handle.  Life is hard for the gossip kids right now, so don't waste your time.

The UK Is Imploding, And It's Not All Corbyn's Fault

The UK has a been a syphilitic invalid for so very long, but now we are joyously watching the final indignities.  Surely May is as nasty and incompetent a leader as any in world history, up there with Reagan and Bush, but her glorious failure is not Corbyn's doing; he may or may not decide to rally his people and attempt to pick up the pieces, but the end stage rot ravaging the country is entirely the fault of the vile and feckless conservatives throughout the UK slavishly bonding their sad empire to the exceptional USA.  Whether there's anything left for Corbyn to resurrect is the question for some tomorrows.

Sheila's Gig

Jim Messina Hasn't Deleted His Account Yet For Some Weird Reason

Radio silence, though, so he's def a yuge pussy.  Almost as good as the Tory brutalization was watching Obama's surrogate get destroyed in such a public manner.  Wonder if any of those sorry fuckers still work at the Messina Group?

The Worst Cat Tumblr Still Makes Way More Sense Than Trump's Whole Life

And that blog was one joke and hardly ever updated.  The Trump presidency is a lamer joke updated far too often.

Swimming With Trump

Vir Cotto And That Fat Guy From Animal House Gone

Stephen Furst died.  So good in B5.  No more Vir.  His kid was great in a small role in Banshee, too.

Jesus!!

Jesus!

Inept Plagiarist, Petty Fascist Dandy, And Noted Nitwit David Clarke Cucks Himself

Silly little man.  Clarke is an exceptional American loser and would fit in well as the most obsequious Uncle Tom for Trump's most ardent supporters.  Cuck!

Political Song for Mike Pence to Sing

So, Mike Pence Is Sad And Timid Little Man, Trump's Cuckiest Cuck?

Who knew?  No more is Pence seen as a pathetic mental midget, but instead he's the leading worthless asshole in the entire nation, Trump's senior pissboy.  Brilliant!

Wouldn't It Be Lovely If The DUP Scum Were The Final Undoing Of Theresa May

The Protestant scum in Ireland are every bit as bad as the worst Limey cocksucker, so it would be just grand if the attempt to bring the DUP into the government in the UK was the last insult for May's vile Tories.  Also, we can hope that the fine brave Irish republicans will see a united Ireland much sooner because of May's incompetence.

Alex Jones Vs. Megyn Kelly: Hopefully A Fight Till The Death On All Sides

There's not a hole deep enough to bury these two vile fuckers.  Let's see them both gone forever after this shitshow.

Steve Scalise: Idiot--Guntard Idiot--Vile Reactionary Idiot

Steve Scalise is a fucking guntard asshole who got himself shot at least in part because too many mental-defective conservatives in this country can't read above a first-grade level and also require metal penis-substitutes too make themselves feel better about their own physical shortcomings.  Not cool.  The US Constitutions gives citizens the right to be in the army and  the army the right to use guns.  Not concealed carry.  Not civilian ownership.  That's bullshit.  Scalise may be too dumb to understand that, but everyone else with half a brain sure as shit does.  It's too much to expect that Scalise and other NRA pigfuckers would suddenly get a shitload smarter, but the rest of us should get rid of the guns.

Congrats, It's A Judybats Story

The UPS Shooting Was Not Any More Efficient Than A USPS Shooting

UPS could never compete on price with post office shootings.  UPS might work for a shooting if you were willing to pay ten times as much, but in the end the shooting would not really be better and money was just pissed away.  Renationalize post office shootings; it's in the constitution. 

Fighting Against The Nazis, Racists, And Other Right-Wing Scum Is Always Right

Nazis and other fascist types, racist Republicans, and the rest of the reactionary filth will undoubtedly continue to act out until they are stopped.  But it won't be a minority of brave leftists fighting the violent right-wingers; everybody hates the Nazis, and when those fascist pussies start a fight they can't finish, the vast majority of Americans will rise up as one to put them down.

An Improved Constitution For America Would Be Fucking Grand

The US constitution is weak and flawed, so making it better would be the best way to improve the society.  Remove the anti-democratic institutions.  Get rid of the guns.  Strengthen freedom.  All good shit.  Never going to happen peacefully. 

There Are Many People Out There As Bugfuck Insane As Katy Grimes

Far too many.  Anyone who actually believes this utter nonsense is way too stupid and nutty to be allowed to run free. 

Heaven's Scent

For The Love Of Jeebus Let's Hope That Trump Takes This Seriously Enough To Tweet About Insanely Overnight

Everybody can use a smile in the morning.  How the fuck would Trump handle actually being in the crosshairs of an independent Federal prosecutor?  I hope to fucking christ almighty we find out.  Heh.

At Least Kamala Harris Is Making The Right Enemies

Harris is problematic as fuck, but at least she's out there pissing off the racist GOP fuckers with extreme prejudice.  Willie Brown must be proud.

Another Exceptionally Brave Second Amendment American Patriot Exercises His Right To Be A Good Guy With A Gun

We need more guns, more shooting, and more target practice.  Why only one gun?  Why only one shooter?  Where were all the other patriots?  The only good guys have guns.  We need more good guys.  (No chicks.  Or Blahs.  Or Mexicans.  Or Mooseslims.)  You're either a patriot or a faggot.  Which are you? 

The Federalist Is Dumber Than Donald Trump On His Most Senile Grandpa Simpson/John McCain Day

Jesus motherfucking christ on horseback. Reading is hard.  My fucking 10 year old was able to understand the fucking Handmaid's Tale, but poor slow-witted Bre Payton is not much for reading comprehension.  That's okay.  At Ben Domenech's place all you gotta be is a plagiarist and you're golden.  Brains or the good sense the gods gave to the average mineral not required.

Racing Twit Storm!

The Honorable E Ritchie Sachs should have stayed out of it, atmo--he has enjoyed the fruits of hard work and talent and good luck and is able to be a bike racer bike builder bike guy and not worry about getting fat and lazy.  Anywho, the twits get all wound up, and as usual the level of comprehension in that gaggle is fucking dirt-scrapingly lowdown.  The twits are mostly dumb fucks.

Summer Jams

Better Golden State Than Cleveland

Kinda obvious, but at least it wasn't fucking Cleveland.  GS had the players and the cancer boy coach and shit.  Not Cleveland always better than Cleveland anyway.

Some Things Don't Hold Up

Rob Delaney Is Better And Smarter Than His Show

Seems like a good guy.  His show is sorta tedious, though the supporting cast is excellent and watchable most of the time. 

Southland Tail

The Key To Trump Has Always Been That He's Just An Average Republican--Dumber Than Some, But Pretty Much The Same As All Of 'Em

Trump is always and forever a doctrinaire GOP bastard.  He's a fucking nimrod and an utter fool, just like every conservative.  Indeed, Trump is a micro-penised vulgarian and an especially enormous failure in life, but otherwise he's just another asshole too stupid to know how wrong conservatives are.

All-American Music Club

Jezza Corbyn Is The Best Limey Out There

Good politician, with good ideas.  Still a Limey cocksucker, but a friend to the brave freedom fighters in Ireland, and that's pretty fucking cool.  Bernie would have won, too.  Signal boosted by the General.

Everybody Hates Joy Reid

Joy Reid has proven to be a neoliberal dimwit, and everybody is having a ton of fun fucking with her.  Reid is def part of the problem, so fuck her.

Sad, Deluded Anti-Vax, Anti-Science Morons

There's no hope for them.  Their tiny brains believe anything but can't understand simple science; they're useless, even if they are not racist, reactionary fucksticks jerking off with guns.

Jim Messina: Exceptional American Asshole And Friend Of Barack Obama

Stupid motherfucker Messina was working with the Tories.  And he fucked them with his titanic incompetence, so maybe we should thank Obama for promoting that neoliberal shitbag Messina.  He really is a nasty piece of right-wing filth.  No tweets since his epic shellacking, so we can add coward to his list of crimes.

Trump Cucks An Entire Table Of Pissboys

Those sad little men and women, getting pissed on by a senile old man like Russian hookers.  Jesus, that was fucking creepy.  Nasty little cucks love the piss though.

Elvis Needs Boats

Glenn Greenwald Fisking The Loathsome John Aravosis Is Maybe The Only Thing Making America Greater Again

Very nice.  In general, Greenwald is like the antithesis to Aravosis' vile and simplistic neoliberal horseshit.  It's pretty fucking sweet to see Greenwald flay Aravosis alive over this history and shit in particular.  Fun stuff.

In case you were wondering: Harry Hay was a legit great American.

A Dead Nazi Is The Only Good Nazi

This might be the greatest story ever told.  Fat disgusting racist Nazi fuckknob choking on bacon as he drops from a heart attack and dies?  Makes me believe that jesus is real after all and loves us very fucking much.

Heroes

David Price Sucks Major Ass

Price is a zero--way to timid and fragile to play in a festering shithole like Boston.  He's useless in the post season, and I am so fucking pleased that the Sox decided to take on this idiot.  Plus watching him get dismantled by the Yankees makes it even more amusing.  Thanks, Trump!

Imbecilic Catholic Fundie Dingbats Are Just As Creepy As Born-Again Motherfuckers

Those catholic asswipes are every bit as nasty and creepy as their not-catholic fundie sharia-loving born again christian comrades.  Fuck them all in their eye holes with red hot pokers please, jesus.  Thanks.

Knoll-E

Corbyn 'Would Make A Fine Prime Minister'

The establishment media in the UK are eating a yuge shit sandwich today with a slimy pile of bloody crow on the side.  All those assholes were heaping scorn on Corbyn forever and truly believed he couldn't lead the party.  Now they realize how stupid they look.  Labour has shifted the political focus in Britain now, and the Tories and the rest of those Limey cocksuckers are going to have face that beautiful new reality.

And Corbyn Didn't Win

He led Labour to within 2.5% of the Tories and gained 31 seats.  Corbyn made Labour a thing again for the Limeys after May tried to kill the party completely with this snap election.  Labour had a few tough losses late, though, and if they had won those handful of seats, it would have been an entirely different day today.  As it stands, May will need to decide how much Britain can stand working with the vile reactionary shitbags in the DUP.  That oughta be fun.

Grave Dancing

After May's Glorious Pasting, Will The Tories Turn To Boris Johnson Or Lord Buckethead?

They'd stand a better chance with Lord Buckethead.  At least Theresa May has proven that Donald Trump is not the least competent politician in the developed world.

Bernie Still Would Have Won

Corbyn, the Bernie Sanders of the UK, defied the doubters and neoliberal fuckheads in his own party, but Sanders would have won every state Clinton won because the American electorate is so polarized in the 21st century that Dem victories were going to go to anyone running as the nominee of the Dems, plus Sanders wins Florida, Wisconsin, Michigan, and Pennsylvania. 

Like A Whole

Ben Shapiro Is The Saddest Little Cuck Who Ever Cucked Himself

Lil' Ben should take his binky and go back to his crib.  He thought he was cute and got brutalized by half the planet in a matter of minutes.  I mean, it's funny for us, but it can't be doing anything for poor little Ben's self-esteem and body image issues.  (Mean people on Twitter are why he wets the bed.)

Nite And All

Today Is The Day Kurt Eichenwald Invented Tentacle Porn For America

A great day for humanity and America.  It's real!  Finally tentacle porn is a thing for all.  No more misunderstandings. No more shame.  We are all enriched and free to dream of being a fisherman's wife thanks to Kurt Eichenwald.  Halle-fucking-lujah!

Yo! Corbyn Really Ain't Gonna Win

We can't have nice things--hung parliament and political chaos and the public filleting of the vile racist Tory motherfuckers are all lovely things, but winning is not for us.  The good guys and girls never win.  It's in our nature as a species.  A few of us know better but too many believe the lies.  Ignorant racist little bed-wetters.  Too stupid to live.

John McCain Is Presidential, Positively Trumpian

This is all the fault of whatever coward in the Navy wasn't man enough to stand up to the admiral and decided to let that incompetent fool McCain into the flying jets program.  If that fucker had been any sort of man, we wouldn't have had to deal with McCain plodding around like a drunken, broken fuckstick for the last 30 fucking years.  Now that bastard is as crazy and senile and bumbling as Trump.  McCain would be the perfect candidate for the GOP in the next presidential election.

James Comey Today Is The Same Boring, Useless Drama Queen He Always Was

He is way more interested in his own shallow preening than anything else, but he also knows that he doesn't have to hang Trump today because it's not his job anymore.  Robert Mueller has that task now, so Comey is just going to sit there like a lump and take in all the attention.  Trump's fate is in Mueller's hands now.  This is just exceptionally boring theatre.

All U

How Fucking Stupid And Crazy Do You Have To Be To Believe In Chemtrails?

Anybody fucking whacked enough to believe this shit is probably also dumb enough to believe in right-wing economics, white supremacy, American exceptionalism, and some fucking god, in addition to being an enthusiastic guntard and Trump voter.  Jesus frakking christ, this country is wicked fucked.

Must Be Hard To Be The Parent Of A Loser Dummy Kid And Pretend It's Bullshit Ass-Burgers Or Some Shit

These kids are just dumb--or mediocre--and fucking lazy.  Don't want to do the paper?  Fine.  F.  There are plenty of kids who are average-ish intelligence who aren't lazy and just do the fucking work without their parents pretending they're sick or retarded or damaged somehow.  They're just assholes, and the parents are probably dummies too.  That's why we have the Army.  I'm sure Trump will keep these loser kids/cannon fodder very very busy.

Even Yet Still More Signal-Boosting Of This Norway Vs. USA Piece In The Nation Last Year

Progress is possible but so very difficult, even with enormous wealth.  The good news is that the USA is vastly richer than Norway, and the bad news is that the USA is controlled by a loathsome cabal of horrible, racist mental-defectives while Norway enjoys a broad, participatory democratic government.  If the people of the US manage to force the government to cede some control to the people and effectively fight to lessen the power of the imbecilic oligarchy, the United States could be even more prosperous than Norway.

If You Were An Unfunny No-Talent Hack And Hillbot, You'd Be Don Holley

And that's a very bad thing to be.  Wrote part of Loaded Weapon 1, though.  And absolutely nothing else.  I guess we can assume there is a trust fund or other sort of upper-class welfare going on.  Damn.  That's an achievement.  Not exactly a sparkling intellect, either.  Mental-defectives like Holley are the reasons why Trump is president.  Nice job, fellers.

Jerry Remy Is So Much More Than The Greatest Father Of All Time

Peak RemDawg.  It's not just that Remy is a fucking lunatic, the meatheaded racist shit is fucking bonus.  Unfortunately, the Yankees didn't fulfill their mission from jesus and win the fucking game, tho.

Babies One More Time

St. Andrew's Is A Legit Elite Boarding School, But That Twit 7-Creep Really Makes Me Hate It

Jesus, what a fucking sanctimonious fucker.  Not the OP, but that asshole joins in later and ruins it for everyone.  He's smarmy and tedious and patronizing.  St. Andrew's has lots of sins to bear, and that fuckstick is one of the worst.

Donald Trump: Delivering Chaos, Incompetence, And Political Collapse Around The World

Thanks, Trump!  This is some super-level genius shit.  Trump kills the GOP.  Obliterates Fox "News" and the right-wing media.  Shreds the neo-Nazi movement.  Destroys the political class in the US.  Now he's destroying conservative politicians overseas.  Fucking amazing!  Keep it up you senile old shitstain!

Hey! Corbyn Still Ain't Gonna Win

Three points behind is not what May and the Tories expected, but it is not a majority, not a win.  If Corbyn is able to maintain his leadership of Labor, the weakened reactionary scum in the Conservative Party will be bleeding out impotently while the world watches, so that's pretty fucking sweet.  Plus, the Limey fucks will be dealing with political chaos and general incompetence much like we have in the US right now.  Thanks, Trump!

You Never Have To Wonder Why The United States Is Such A Failure

The ruling class are utter buffoons.  They are in charge not because they are smart or talented or industrious.  They rule due to accidents of wealth and a political system constructed by these very vile shitheads for the benefit of every vile shithead at the expense of reason, equality, equanimity, democracy, and productivity.  Trump's not the worst of anything; the country is crawling with a cohort of fatuous asswipes who don't even know how useless they are.  Trump would be their king except he's too frightened and senile to actually do anything.

Theresa May: Trumpier Than Trump, Or Those Limey Cocksuckers Are Wicked Fucked

Well, Europe, karma, the universe, and entertainment should give the Limeys props for finding someone more heinously incompetent and horrible to lead them than even a Donald Trump.  That's not easy.  And, while all decent people in the world will relish seeing the vile racist United Kingdom crumble under the weight of the endstage of Tory incompetence, much will be lost when the rot spreads and makes bad times worse for everyone beyond the wretched British Isles.  Oh, well, it'll be a blast to watch.  Eat shit, Limey fucks.

Al Giordano: Always And Forever Like A Less Intelligent, Less Competent, Less Suck-cessful Donald Trump

Deranged scumbag cocksucker doesn't even begin to describe how hard Al Giordano sucks ass.  Rancid filth like Giordano is a major reason why this fucking country is so fucked up.  Plus he's dumb as a fucking rock and more self-absorbed and more self-deluded than Trump on Trump's most senile day.  Thanks, Obama.

Ballz Chainz

Corbyn Ain't Gonna Win

Sure, it would be fab if the Limey cocksuckers voted Jezza in as the next PM, but that shit is simply not going to happen as Corbyn is not even supported by a large chunk of the useless shitbirds in the Labor Party.  The "leaders" of Labor are all neoliberal fuckstains in the mould of Tony Blair and the Clinton family and not at all the pragmatic center left of Jeremy Corbyn and his followers.  Corbyn would be a fantastic finger in the eye of the vile fuckers in Europe and the US, but it's not ever going to happen on this planet.

Orlando Shooter John Robert Neumann Jr. Is Not At All A Terrorist Because He Is White

White man with gun = good guy with gun. It's in the fucking constitution.  Terrorism is when blahs or Mooseslims use guns.  White men with guns is what gives jesus a rock-hard fucking boner.  FREEDUMB FREEDUMB FREEDUMB

Exceptional, Brave, Freedom-Loving American Patriot Removes Five Bad Guys From Orlando Because He Wants To Make America Greater Again

Thank all the gods for freedumb and the Second Amendment.  Good guys with guns killing bad guys without guns is what is making America greater again every minute.  Ronald Reagan, Wayne LaPierre, and Donald Trump understand what true patriots love, and so did this exceptional American in Orlando.  FREEDUMB!  Fuck yeah!

A Great Day In American Elitism

Twits will be twits.  Harvard or the Serotta forum, twits are too stupid to know they're twits--and even better, twits have no honor or tolerance of other twits, so they will piss on each other at every opportunity.  Brilliant!

Peak Suburbia

Trump Wants Kimberly Guilfoyle To Piss On Him Like A Russian Hooker

Why the fuck else would he call that vacuous harpy on the phone?  Trump probably wants the full-Russian treatment a little closer to home.  Or maybe he was pulling an O'Reilly when he called Guilfoyle and was holding his little wiener in his tiny fingers and had a big black falafel jammed right up his ass.

Rusty Hurricane

Donald Trump Is Nothing More Than An Especially Incompetent And Vulgar Mainstream Republican

There's nothing special, or especially evil, about Trump compared to any other registered Republican in the United States.  Certainly Trump is far less intelligent than even the average Republican, so that puts him below a room temperature IQ anywhere on the globe, and Trump is an absurd, short-fingered vulgarian, wildly failing to compensate for a plethora of shortcomings and assorted minuscule physical endowments.  But he's no worse than any other Republican you can name, famous or not.  Trump is simply worse at it than anyone else in the country.  He is an ignorant bigot with no skills and no talents or abilities, in politics, business, or anything else.

And the Clinton machine lost an election to him.

Thanks, Obama.

Believes In? A Much Better Question Would Be Whether Trump Can Spell 'Climate Change'

Or dipshit. Or asswipe.  Trump doesn't know what climate change is.  He doesn't know what climate science is.  Or the difference between climate and weather.  None of that shit matters.  He's a dumb rich kid who never accomplished anything in his life, even reading a whole book on his own, who grew into a terrified and senile old man trapped in a scary and uncomfortable world where nothing makes sense and everyone laughs at him.  Sad.  All he wants to to do now is watch his programs on the Fox "News" tee vee and loose his bowels into his diaper.  Everything else is way too hard for him.  Always was.  Thanks, Trump!

Jeffrey St. Clair Hasn't Forgetten The USS Liberty

Have you?  I bet you've forgotten rock and roll radio, too.  But the USS Liberty should have been the final reason the United States needed to blast those vile racist Israeli pigs back to an especially ignominious pit in hell.  It's long past time for the US to cut the Israelis loose and for our great democracy to support the brave anti-apartheid freedom fighters in Palestine. 

Fisking Bill Maher Is Way Too Easy

Maher's always been an offensively stupid and shallow meathead.  No 'nigger' or 'nigga'  is ever gonna change that.  Anyone who is all of the sudden angry at or offended by a comedian who never been anything but a tawdry simplistic clown should probably consider finding the nearest suicide booth, making sure to bring exact change.

Some Times

Adept Barack Obama Fisking On A Longer Obama Fisking

Fabulous.  Obama will undoubtedly be known as the biggest failure in American history, elected during a time when bold leadership was required and failing to lead because in the end he was as big of a neoliberal piece of human garbage as Bill or Hillary Clinton, as hopelessly ill-equipped as Dick Morris or Donald Trump.  But Obama's horrible failures will not end in laughs and sly, shaking heads.  No, Obama may very well one day be seen as the man most responsible for the last truly tragic failure in world history.  Thanks, Obama.

A Twit's Delight, Or Trump's Enablers Are Fucking Vile

Upper-class and upper-middle class twits are more heinous than any billion toothless, web-toed, racist white-trash Republicans.  Disgusting.  These feckless shitstains made Trump the man he is today.

Burn Down The NCAA

Put Bill Snyder in a wicked deep hole along with all the ADs and the football and basketball coaches and proceed to fill that hole with a decade's worth of squeezings from Donald Trump's adult diapers.  The college players are completely fucked, and the shitbirds making the money off their labor are fucking scum.  The NCAA is every bit as awful as Donald Trump Jr. and Eric Trump blended together.

Oranges R Not The Only Fruits

Trump In Glorious Full-Color Pulling Out Of Paris This Time

The absolute best thing about Donald Trump, the micro-penised vulgarian, is that finally all the world can see what fatuous reactionary cunts the American political leaders are.  After vile stooges like Obama claiming to worship freedom around the world while ordering the murder of defenceless poor people around the world, we all finally have Trump not even pretending to understand any fucking thing or even care that he's too stupid to know.  America's always been like this, lead by the worst risible morons on the planet, but through accident of history we were able to hide it.  No more.  No more.

Margaret Court Seems Nice

Court.  Tennis.  I get it.  She's a nice old lady.  Sweet.  Not at all a senile piss-stinking homophobic bag of hateful ignorance and putrid watery shit.

Proud Boys Are The Most Hilariously Sad Losers Ever

Jesus, you feel bad laughing, but fuck.  Is this what chronic virginity and uncontrolled bed-wetting does to a human male after 30+ years?