Halloween Theme Song

Ebola Morons Are Infecting You With Teh Stupid

It's a fatal case of being a fucktard, Jim!  Now Maine is suffering from the end stages of Teh Stupid because someone rode a fatbike or something.  Anyone who can't understand basic concepts should shut the fuck up.  That includes irredeemable cockknobs like Leon H. Wolf.

Bibi IS A Chickenshit

Obama should have sent someone to say it on the record on the tee vee!  Why the fuck not?  Israel is an evil, fascist racist state and the worst ally ever, so if Obama wants to start insulting Netanyahu, what possible harm could it do.  Israel is a modern military encampment kept functional by billions of dollars of Yankee cash money, and those same Israelis are terrified of defenceless and unarmed children.  That's chickenshit.  Without America, Israel wouldn't last 10 seconds on its own.  Time to say it on the record, Mr. President.

How Not To Do Max Lugs

No thanks.  I dig the paint and I'm sure the bike is very nice, but those lugs are fucking awful.  Stock Max lugs are ugly, but...

Ray McGovern Versus The NYPD

That 74 year old man is Public Enemy Number One!  Fucking Petraeus has gotta be one of the world's dimmest 1-watt bulbs and biggest pussies.  (He already had the biggest-ass-kisser-in-the-history-of-the-galaxy award.)  McGovern could cause some trouble, of course, because McGovern is not a dim bulb or an obedient establishment lapdog like Petraeus, but that kinda trouble is what's supposed to make America special exceptional.  I guess Petraeus doesn't believe in American exceptionalism!

Holy Shit, Mary Landrieu Tells A Truth And The Fucking Assholes Go Fucking Crazy

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Hillary Clinton's Ghastliness Is Unbound

Even when she gets something right, she fucks it all up by backpedaling out of cowardice and ignorance.

For the folks out there who aren't following the simple stuff:

Clinton was right: corporations DO NOT create jobs.  Jobs are created by consumer demand.  People who want to buy something instead of making it themselves--food, clothes, a car, tubular tires, whatever--or who want to pay someone to do something instead of doing it themselves--paint house, drive truck, make dinner, give blowjob--create all the fucking jobs ever.

As a corollary, THE GOVERNMENT ALSO CREATES JOBS by using the force of law to enforce rules and regulations which mandate the employment of people to comply with those rules.  Safety engineers, clerks to fill out forms in quadruplicate--plus some company will fulfill the demand for forms in quadruplicate!--whatever it is, government mandates also create demand which creates jobs.

That's it.  It's pretty simple.  The corporation or small business is almost completely fungible.  If you don't get your goods or services or blowjobs from one company, you'll get them from another if you want to pay for them, and it doesn't matter which one does the job.  They're all pretty much equally useful or useless depending on your opinion of the goods and/or services.

Clinton should have had the balls to push back against the establishment, if she had it in her.  Which she doesn't.

Big Gay iPhones Tell Me Ted Cruz Is Still A Fucking Dipshit

Gay iPhones should have bigger screens and smaller bezels, bigger batteries making the phones a bit thicker so the fucking camera doesn't erupt like a stubborn pimple from the back of the phone, and go back to the glass-and-metal retro-future aesthetic.  Otherwise, I don't give a fuck if my iPhone digs chicks or dudes.  That said, Ted Cruz is gods-damned dumber than a post about every single fucking thing in the world.  Texas.  It's like a really fucking retarded country. 

I'd Feel Better If The Maine Ebola Nurse Had A Really Cool Bike

Like a Moots ti hardtail or something like an EWR OWB with a rigid fork or maybe a vintage Indy Fab mountain bike she got in college.  Looks like the boyfriend has a Surly fatbike; he lives in Fort Kent, Maine, so it's not clear if he's hardcore all-season mountain biker or rural hipster d-bag.

The Giants Do Right By Gods And America In The End

Jesus charlie crist, gods, and other random jerk-offs, along with all decent-minded Americans, appreciate that the SF Giants did not allow a baseball organization associated with Rush Limbaugh and George Brett and his piles--and Rush Limbaugh's piles--to win this year.  Thanks a bunch.

Genius Barz

Jesus frakking crist.  Seriously, how can any adult humans in the USA in 2014 be this fucking stupid?

Roots N Roll

Erik Loomis Does The Gods Work

By signal boosting these amazing take-downs of the worst band in America.  Jesus charlie crist, that was fucking heaps of fun.  I concede that making fun of a talentless, sickly pale country pop band is easy pickens, but it sure tastes yummy.  Loomis gets a complimentary cupcake for his good work today.

Wonderfully Brutal Red Cross Fisking

Fuck...that was...incredible.  The Red Cross is another of those organizations--Komen, United Way, Sally Army--you should know deep down are just awful, but until you see the glory of the truth revealed maybe you lied to yourself and thought they were okay.  The Red Cross has always done one thing exceptionally well, namely, enriching their executives.  They raise money they don't need and don't know how to use so they can pay obscene salaries and keep ginormous hookers-and-blow petty cash on hand.  After all, the organization hired Elizabeth Dole to be their "leader", and there is not a more nauseating Republican on gods' green earth than Elizabeth Dole.

Kudos to Elliot, Eisinger, and Sullivan for their great work.  Not that it will matter, since the Red Cross is beyond shame and most Americans are fucking morons.

(via)

Virag's Movie Reviews: X-Men: Days Of Future Past (2014)

This was not exactly a bad flick, but it was a terrible one.  It made no sense, wasted some surprisingly decent actors, and was not nearly engaging enough considering the interminable length of the thing.  X-Men: Days of Future Past was a fave of the easy-to-please nerds and dweebs and geeks, but incoherence is not skillful film making in any universe.  I think we have the absolute proof that Bryan Singer is every bit as over rated and hacktacular as Christopher Nolan.

Glenn Beck, Donald Trump, And Paul Ryan On With Hannity

Holy fucking shit, that is four of the dumbest motherfuckers on the planet on one Fox "News" show.  Jesus.

Jonas Salk Knows Anti-Vaxxers Are Frakking Morons

Evil, dangerous morons.  Except for the oldsters who lived through it, nobody alive now remembers the horror of poliomyelitis and iron lungs and crippled and dead children by the thousands every fucking year until Jonas Salk pioneered research into killed virus vaccines and developed a safe and effective polio vaccine in 1955.  These anti-vaccine monsters are undoing the work of scientists and doctors for a 100 gods-damned years.  There's no excuse for this sort of superstitious ignorance in the 21st century.  Let's pray to jesus charlie crist and the rest of the imaginary gods that some genius comes up with a vaccine for hopeless fucktardery.

Where's Meyer Wolfsheim? The Fix Is In

The Giants have been bought off.  It's the only possibility.  After taking Peavy out because his first baseman fucked up a play, Bruce Boche essentially gave the game away, or at least did his best to.  The Series as well.  Fucking genius. 

Fuck You Don Surber, Fuck You West Virginia

IT'S THE LIBERAL MEDIA!!  If you're a brainless dickwad.  Otherwise the liberal media is a clever fiction dreamed up by the syphilitic paranoids nuzzling Nixon's crusty ballsack in the 70s.  This vile bastard Surber is the one and only columnist in that shitty paper in Charleston, so that pretty much means that Daily Mail in Charleston, West Virgina was perfectly content to have an ignorant racist asshole like Don Surber be their standard bearer. 

Lee Wall'd Off

Ebola IS A Left-Wing Plot! I TOLD You!

I TOLD YOU!!  LIBERAL!  LEFT-WING!  DEMOCRAT! 

They want to kill us all, all us good white christians.  They're gonna take the ebola and kill us because Obama told 'em to!  We're doomed!  Only jesus can help us now!  Please jesus charlie crist, save us!

I Don't Care About The Season Arc

On Doctor Who.  It is always dumb and always a let-down.  This is a goofy kid's show about a magic phone booth and a silly little man who lives in it.  That's it.  They are not fucking Justified or even Battlestar Galactica.  If these idiots stopped worrying about the big picture and concentrated on entertaining episodes, the world would be a better place, and ebola would die off never to bother good white christians ever again.

I Heartily Endorse The Krauts Importing More Worthless Stupid Assholes Like This One

Some dumb fucker from the U.S. is over in Germany, bringing down the aggregate IQ for our Kraut friends.  Fuck Yeah!  What's funny--or fucking disgusting, depending on your personal perspective--is that these legions of not-nearly-bright-enough-asswhipes with embarrassing credentials from shitty schools are making it their lives' missions to criticize some shit they can never properly comprehend in order to bolster the vile reactionary political and economic positions of some of the most short-sighted and most ignorant plutocrats in the history of the known universe.  Why would these fools do this?  I guess because they're fucking retards.  They can't understand basic scientific concepts on the one hand, and on the other they mistakenly believe they are valuable comrades of the oligarch cohort.  That makes them so much worse than the mundane useful idiots we see every day. 

Hopelessly Stupid And Useless Bagger Of The Day

Blatant morons like this scabrous fuckknob are filling America to the brim with ignorance and hatred.  People like this asshole are the dipshit majority; they are too stupid to live but too simple to die.  Now that we are coming to election season, we will see the holocaust they reap as the teabaggers and Koch-suckers line up in government to retard progress for another coupla years.  Their beliefs, their lives, their minds are pathetic cosmic jokes, but there they are, fucking up the world for the rest of us. 

Sun High

On The Other Hand, The Jets!

Oh boy, the Jets are a blessing to all good, gods-fearing Americans.  It's almost too great to watch them be as mesmerizingly ineffectual as they are.  We are beloved by many kindly and loving gods to have the Jets suck balls for our amusement.

The SF Giants Will Probably Let Us Down

Good deal last night, but it still feels like those SF fuckers will frak it up in the end.

Black Kvale

Repaint by Kvale as well.  Is that black?  I guess it's black.  None more black.

Gods Blessed America: School Shootings Are Not Even Really News Anymore

Fuck yeah!  I love a country where some fuckface shooting up a school is only another bullshit story in the background of societal disintegration.  We care a lot about tons of inane nonsense, but when we have an actual violent crisis staring us in the face, we're too fucking stupid to notice.  Genius.

Political Song for Kevin Vickers to Sing

There's Nothing In Canada Worth Shooting

No reason to shoot anyone or anything in Canada, unless it is your dinner.  Very sad.

Jack Bruce, Those Guys Are Getting Old!

Jack Bruce is dead at 71.  Goodness gracious, these fellows are getting old!  It is sort of amazing that Bruce died before either Clapton or Baker.  And Bruce was the creative force of Cream, for what that's worth damn near 50 years later.

Political Song for Bill Clinton to Sing

Nina Pham Is Pretty Cute

I'm not one for the kind of folks who thank jesus for the works of medicine--or people willingly living in Texas--but she's fucking adorable, and I bet future-possible-first-gentleman Bill Clinton would like to "hug" her, too. 

Of All The Unlikely Things, Good News From Oregon!

No sheet!  Nothing good ever comes from Oregon.  It's always boring twits or ochlophobic white supremacists.  But this is good.  That fucking idiot running against Merkley was totally incapable of doing anything except Koch-sucking and wasting Koch money.  That's pretty good!

Efficient Al Franken Fisking

Weird Al Franken.  I see what you did there.  Franken's an establishment guy, rock-ribbed to the core, and that rock-ribbed conservative establishment is all about expanding the empire.  Al Franken's only important function is to remind Bill O'Reilly--and the rest of the world--that Franken is one of 100 United States Senators while O'Reilly is a creepy, impotent, keister-falafel-mongering cuckold.

Saab Fanboys Rebel

The fanboys object to the BMW because it's a BMW, when what they should be pissed about is the tacky white car--any overpriced, tacky white car--with the idiot's vulgar stripe!  Yes, BMWs are vile Kraut cars, but if you need to get one because you are that unfortunate variety of person, at least have the common decency to not get the racerboy treatment like some sort of inbred trailer-park scumbag.

Kiss'd Femmes

Student Athletes Heh Indeedy

This would be terribly embarrassing, if anyone associated with big-time college athletics gave a shit.  UNC was dumb enough to get caught, but that's it.  Until our society miraculously becomes a billion times smarter, and we ban the athletic scholarship, nothing will change.  Of course, even the bullshit places like the Ivies which don't have "athletic scholarships" have more than their share of dumb bunnies taking up space on campus because they can throw or catch a ball or poke a puck.

What's The Matter With Massachusetts Dems?

Martha Coakley lost to dimwitted bimbo Scott Brown, and now she's probably gonna lose to some other vacuous fuckwad this year.  I guess the Dems in Massachusetts are getting what they deserve, but jesus charlie crist, how the fuck do you give a stupendous loser like Coakley another shot at can't-lose high-profile failure?

Baseball Giants

Nicely done by the SF baseball Giants in KC last night.  The Royals have the sentimental idiot vote this year, but associations with the vile George Brett and Rush Limbaugh disqualify that team from any good will whatsoever. 

Is There A Selle Italia Saddle Called The 'Lady Flow'?

Lady Flow?  Lady flow?  Lady.  Flow.  No, there is no such thing.  There cannot be.  Nobody would be...nobody would do...

Bad Bad People

Monica Lewinsky Looks Good!

How old is that broad?  She's in her 40s, right?  Damn.  I'm sure Tubby wishes he was gonna have another shot at that shit.  I'm sure the govmint health benefits he gets covers a shitload of Viagra and Cialis and penis pumps and Bill O'Reilly signature butt falafels and whatever else Clinton needs to continue his career in public service.

Ebola! We're All Not Gonna Die!!

Ebola is not gonna kill you.  Not here.  No matter what the establishment media morons and political ass clowns say.  George Will, not epidemiologist and certified rocket scientist, knows better, though; HE KNOWS THE TRUTH!  EBOLA GONNA KILL YOU!!

Ebola's American operation has a problem, and that problem is that it is really hard to catch Ebola unless you have an infected person who is so sick that there is a sufficient excess of virus in their bloodstream.  And even then, things like rubber gloves and masks make it hard on Ebola.  Let's hope that Ebola gets its act together in time to infect George Will.  The rest of us won't be in any danger.

'Interstellar' Rumor Confirms My Suspicion It Will Suck Balls Hard

I already said it: Interstellar is going to be hella-stupid.  Love as the structure of the universe or whatever dumb fucking thing they're getting at is easily the most inane thing you'll ever hear not on Fox "News".  This rumor thing seems to bolster the thesis that Christopher Nolan is an over-rated, empty-headed clown.

Bill O'Reilly In His Natural Environment

Long, Interesting Secular History Of Islam

An excellent counter to toxic racist retards like Sam Harris and Bill Maher and all of Fox "News".  Doesn't matter though, because here in America we enjoy the spectacle of ignorance and racist hatred more than we crave knowledge or justice or comprehension as nothing is more fundamentally American than ignorance and racist hatred. 

Pretty Easy Bill O'Reilly Fisking

Barrel, fish, you know the drill.  Still, since O'Reilly the pervy sexual harasser and all-around creepster is so fucking dense, we should keep pounding on it.  O'Reilly is not only dumb as a fucking rock, he's a nasty racist asshole as well.

(via)

Low Beards, Everybody Down

The Giants Cowboys Game Is Proof We Have Been Abandoned By All The Gods And Jesus

Surely an extant, loving divine panoply would bless us with some precise smiting right there in Arlington.  And after the Jets on Thursday, we know we are alone in cold, uncaring cosmos.

The Glory Of America And Jesus

Hands Up

Sweet Jesus Charlie Crist, Al-Jazeera America Does News On Weekends

What the fuck does Al-Jazeera America know that MSNBC doesn't, besides how to do news shows 24/7/365 instead of devoting a fifth of their schedule to police state prison porn?  If I had time and Al-Jazeera on my personal tee vee, I would sure as shit watch it before any of the other three.  Al-Jazeera America is so much more than Current TV ever was as well.

Not At All Constantinople

If Alison Grimes Manages To Lose, We Must Banish Her--To Kentucky!

Never to be allowed to leave for 10,000 years!  We all knew she was a shitty candidate and campaigner as well as a vile, conservative, Clintonite weasel, but Bitch McConnell was a sure loser to even a decent opponent.  If Grimes fucks this up, she should be banished to Kentucky for ever and ever, never more to enjoy the company of the civilization and access to state of the art dental care, and never again to be diddled by Bill Clinton at fundraisers.

Did You Ever Notice That Pamperd Upper-Class Twits Are Often Racist Dipshits?

Funny how that works.  Being a privileged cockknob and knee-jerk racist asshole at the same time.  Who knew!

Syd Straw With Dave Alvin

Dave Alvin is everywhere.  I have to wonder if Alvin and Lu Edmonds are not some aspects of divine manifestation working to guide the evolution of the species.

Rick Scott: Too Creepy And Dumb Even For Florida?

Does Scott not have a functioning campaign?  Why didn't his campaign manager slap the shit out of Scott and tell him to get his ass out onto the stage?  This is a close race, and the scuttlebutt is that this fan thing may have lost for the Scott side already.  It could be argued that this was a peek into the heart of Rick Scott, and everyone could see what a weird and petty and dumb man he is, but since he's running for reelection in Florida, weird and petty and dumb pretty much defines the electorate.  For the love of all the gods in all the hells, let's have Crist win just for the entertainment value of watching tee vee Republicans have a collective stroke live on election night.  That would fuckin' rock.

Ebola Bear

Is coming for you.

The Homeless Will Always Be With Us In America, Till We Round Them Up And Feed Them To Illegal Immigrants

(This is the thesis of the speech which won me the 2014 Republican Man of the Year award once again.  My conservative genius prevented that senile pig fucker Reagan from ever winning, and Newt Gingrinch never finished higher than second place thanks to me.  Ben Carson cried when he heard he didn't win this year, either.)  Homelessness in America, the richest nation in the history of the known universe, has been in the public consciousness, sorta, for generations now, but we never seem to become wise enough to make any real progress.  The reason is that eliminating homelessness would require our society to confront the fundamental issues of economy and society, and that's not good for your garden variety Koch-sucker.  Local remedies are not enough, but nobody fucking cares.

Jon Stewart's Shame Is Boundless

Or should be.  Really, it's beyond shame.  It's downright vile to allow a racist dickhead like O'Reilly to plug one of his disgusting books on your show; there's no excuse for Stewart not having learned his lesson long ago.  Unless of course Stewart wants to help O'Reilly promote his book and himself because Stewart believes O'Reilly is a perfectly decent fellow tee vee barker, in which case Stewart is perhaps the worst person who ever lived.

A Monumentally Awful List Thingy

The Enemy NME, so, like duh, of course it sucks balls.  But, still, in a world choked to stupidity by pointless list thingies on the interwebs, this one is especially bad because all these bands are irredeemably awful and deserving of any and all bile and scorn.  Jeez.

Molly Skate

Good Bye And Fuck You, Keith Ablow

Jesus, Keith Ablow is a way bigger racist lunatic than anyone really knew, but now that we do in fact know, it is time to gather up a giant pile of fetid monkey shit, light it on fire, and dump Ablow into it head first. 

I've Had An Opportunity To Watch Some Al-Jazeera America Prime Time

And everyone associated with CNN, MSNBC, and Fox "News" should simply go out back and shoot themselves in the head.  Al-Jazeera manages to do some real reporting on important stories while skipping most of the establishment media inanity seen on the other cable "news" networks.  It is jarring to watch if you are used to the normal ignorant drivel.  And I gotta say that the broadcast looked all right on a middle of the road Korean HDTV setup. 

Geeks, Nerds, Dweebs And Other Dorks Are Thick As Hell Sometimes

Yes, it's a stupid list thingy, but 2001, which took place in 2001 or something, showed Heywood Floyd making a video "payphone" call FROM A FUCKING SPACE STATION TO SOMEONE ON EARTH!  Do those idiots who made the list expect that their 2014 iPhone would work on Space Station V?  Jesus charlie crist.  That's idiotic. (Let's also remember that AT&T was obsolete for a while, and then wasn't again.  And even if portable phones are ubiquitous on Earth in the movie, let's assume that someone is gonna figure out a way to rake in the bucks from the captive audience in orbit who wants to call someone planetside.)

What The Fuck Happened To The Orioles?

The Royals mean nasty shit like George Brett, George Brett's hemorrhoids, and Rush Limbaugh, so fuck Baltimore for not being able to beat the piss out of 'em.  America and freedom hate you now Orioles; nice going.

Tom Brady And Ebola

Heh, indeedy.  Bonus Sugar content about half-way down the page, too.

Waiting For Canadians

Chuck Todd: Giant Douche

Remember way back when in 2008 when Chuck Todd was a favorite of the Democratic kids on the internets with their blogs and their hope?  Chuckles was able to convince the netroots-type dullards that he was something other than a soft-headed, scheming, careerist weasel.  That didn't last forever, but it did last long enough for dickwad to ingratiate himself with the village idiot establishment media at NBC and somehow maintain a threadbare veneer of not being a total, screaming moron.  Well, for the love of jesus charlie crist, let's hope those idiot days are over.  Todd has finally been so flagrant in his asshattery that even those boobs who were holding onto the salad days of 2008 should be able to get the hint.  Let's hope.  Fuck.  Chuck Todd is Luke Russert without the name but with a dead muskrat on his head.

How Long Has Pat Roberts Been Dead?

Jesus fucking christ, this guy is a fucking corpse.  No wonder he's going to lose to some anonymous dickwad.  He's terrible on the tee vee, even Fox "News", which is the best possible conditions for a sitting Republican Senator during the 2014 campaign.  I guess even the average fucktard voter in Kansas demands more entertainment value than poor ole dead Pat Roberts can scare up.

Thirty 9

Neat John Entwistle Isolated 'Won't Get Fooled Again'

Yet Another Fun Fukushima Update

Back in the real world...we are all kinds of fucked.  Fukushima is bad, sure, but as a warning about the state of our energy use and power generation technologies, it is a billion times worse.  We have made no real substantive strides in many decadess, and now with China and India exploding into anarchic, hyper-polluting development, there's little hope of even slowing the new damage.  Whatever hella-fucked looks like for several billion people, we are about to find out for sure.

Jeanine Pirro Is Ugly On The Inside

Too.  It might be too easy to make fun of her for being a totally batshit crazy bitch, but what the fuck else can you do when she keeps shitting herself on tee vee like this?

It's About Gods Damned Time For Satchel To Get The Boot

That slimy turd is even more annoying than Luke Russert.  And that should be impossible.  That Ronan Farrow is a creepy bastard.

You Gotta Love Self-Righteous Clueless Over-Privileged Upper-Class Twits

Oh, wait, no you don't.  Rancid ignorance is not a good look on fatuous, spoiled buffoons.  These fuckers are no gods-damned good.  No good at all.

Today's Sick And Twisted Racist Assholes Are...

These pathetic fucktards.  They hate because they're stupid, but let's eliminate the stupid.  America should send these assholes to one of our fantastic secret torture prisons for one an indefinite detention.  Cuz it's the right thing to do!

Religious Fundamentalists Of Any Stripe Are A Cancer On Human Progress

It's all good fun in the USA these days to rag on ISIS and their beheadins as barbarians and rotten fuckers and shit, but we should admit that it ain't just the ISIS dipshits.  Any flavor of religious fundamentalist is a horrible barbarian, as close to an incarnation of total evil as we have ever seen.  The addle-headed fundie christians are every bit as dangerous as ISIS.  The vile true-believers in Israel are genocidal.  Religion is evil in every sense, but when in control of people stupid enough to really believe it, well that's the greatest danger humanity has ever faced or will ever face.

Wine And/Or Money

Another Shitstain On The Heart Of Our Country

This sick, sad dumb motherfucker or motherfuckers who embody all that is ugly, ignorant, and racist in our glorious 2014 mourning in America is yet another shitstain that will never, ever wash out.  Yay, us.

The Seahawks Hate America

Allowing Dallas to win is more heinous than all the beheadings ISIS and the Saudis will ever commit in their wildest dreams and more of black stain on the American soul than all the torture at GITMO put together. 

No Good News In Ferguson

So, that surge in voter registration in Ferguson didn't happen.  The initial hope was that something real, something important was happening in Ferguson after Michael Brown's murder, but that was not to be.  This is America, and that ain't ever gonna change...

Krugman Is Trolling The Teabaggers

And Koch-suckers and Republican dipshits and the rest of his critics when he fluffs up the Obama legacy and says Ronny Reagan was completely shit.  Krugman also drops the ball on Tubby Clinton, who was not in fact a good president, but who did tremendous damage to America with his disastrous rock-ribbed conservative policies.  It don't matter, though, cuz Krugman is mostly fucking with people at this point, anyway.

Meanwhile...Tommy Wiseau

Tommy Wiseau sounds like a boatload of fun in small doses.  No, I don't want to be in or work on a movie he's directing, and I don't wanna buy a gross of Asian leather jackets, but if you didn't have to depend on him for your well-being--and you can just leave whenever you want--I bet he's a blast.  Maybe not.  Maybe he's a narcissistic maxi douchenozzle, but for some reason, I hope not.

Sick Fuck Of The Day (Any Day): Ralph Peters

This miserable Fox "News" shitbird is always spewing up some rancid nonsense pushing some of the worst ideas in human history.  Peters is the forever the good, and stupid, soldier, following orders and collecting his pay.  I guess we deserve it.

Wonderful Nobel Peace Prize Fisking

David Swanson stirs up an excellent, righteous rant against the Nobel Peace Prize.  The Peace Prize is the thing you don't have to really do anything to win.  There's no writing or science that needs to pan out before you can be a winner.  Swanson goes all in and kicks the Nobel people right where it (should) hurts. 

Scott Walker Versus Friend Of Lance

What's Wisconsin gonna do?  Even the Trek family is better than that ferret-faced motherfucker.  Friend of Lance sounds awful, but Scott Walker sucks wicked hard, so Wisconsin had better pick that lesser evil.

Being Sickened By The Republicans And Media During The Clinton Adminstration Doesn't Make Hillary A Good Candidate

Or person.  I don't get it.  If Olbermann was disgusted with himself and the media and the Republicans and Clinton and living during that whole shit show, that doesn't mean he wouldn't, couldn't, shouldn't go after Hillary Clinton the candidate for president.  America got fucking dumber because of and during the Clinton years, but that doesn't mean Hillary isn't a shitty choice for the Democratic nomination.

Holy Shit, I Kinda Wanna See The FIFA Movie Now

This sounds fucking hilarious.  If someone can arrange a free DVD of this thing or high-quality torrent, I would be all over this shit.  There's gotta be some fun drinking games for the kids, too, if they wanna do their thing with this flick.

Dannel Malloy Bags Some Teabaggers

Holy shit, Dan Malloy nut-punched some National Review teabaggers in a debate, apparently.  Dannel?  Dannel?  Really?  Who knew, but it is too bad the guy pussied out over health care and shit when he became governor.  I can't imagine Malloy will lose, since the douchenozzle he's running against also lost last time.

Virag's Movie Reviews: Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014)

This movie was like a mirror image of The Avengers and Guardians of the Galaxy for me.  Unlike the ensemble flicks, about which I expected the worst, my expectations for CA:TWS were pretty freaking high after all the hype, and it did not deliver at all.  I like Chris Evans; he does a pretty good job as Captain America, but the movie felt oddly disjointed.  If they were going for a paranoid, 70s vibe with Robert Redford, they failed.  Redford was in a completely different film and was wasted in the finished product.  The Falcon stuff didn't real jell either, and that whole story easily could have been left till the next one.  One thing I do know is that the flick could have been at least 40 minutes shorter if Cap had killed all the guys who tried to jump him in the elevator.  I know one of them is a secondary Marvel bad guy, but it's annoying as hell to have normal dirtbags survive their battles to the death with a fucking super soldier.  The silly Hydra reveal was useless as well; SHIELD is plenty fucking creepy and evil without Nazis and cyborg assassins.  The whole paranoid, noirish junk would have been way cooler if SHIELD had been portrayed as the dangerous, untrustworthy, extralegal organization without the influence of virtual reality AI Nazis.  Would have made Redford's, that bald asshole, and Gary Shandling's characters more evil, too.  In the end, it looked like there three movies fighting it out on the screen, but none of them was the great film this thing was hyped up to be.

Satisfying Leon Panetta Fisking

Hey, indeedy. Fun stuff.  Panetta is a huge piece of shit, so whenever anyone wants to kick him around, well, that's just fucking grand.

Commander Decker, WTF

Starfleet needs to do a better job with the background checks.  Fucking guy was almost the captain of the Enterprise.

This Song Makes More Sense Than Anything And Everything Mike Huckabee's Ever Said

Morgan Brittany Is A Fucking Gift From The Gods

Fucking wonderful.  The greatest geniuses of literature could never have created as hilariously fucked up a character as Brittany is in what passes for her real life.  She is an absolute gift from the gods to all of us on the planets.  Thank you jesus charlie crist for bringing joy to our lives with this insane and retarded psycho bitch.

(via)

David Brooks: Human Garbage

He always was, and a certified lame-brain as well, but with his son joining a terrorist army bent on genocide when he signed up with ISIS the IDF, Brooks should probably be sent to Gitmo for a few years of interrogation to determine whether his family is a threat to freedom in the United States. 

Ben Affleck, No Shit. Good For Him.

Ben Affleck did a great job cock-punching loony racists Bill Maher and Sam Harris on Maher's show last week.  Didn't see it live, but boy oh  boy did Ben make the racist asshole community all kinds of bent over the attack.  When those crybaby fucktards get to bitching, you know you've done you job; Fox "News" was non-stop slander, so I guess Affleck was effective.  Maher just isn't that bright, and he's as slimy a racist as Greg Gutfeld or William Boykin.  This fool Sam Harris is a ranting dipwad, too; let's check to see how much money his tee vee mom had to give to get him his PhD.  He's the most fatuous of spoiled children, and a bigoted shitstain to boot.  Affleck's been getting the props, while Maher's getting slammed by anyone who's not a Koch-sucker, teabagger, or other racist fuckknob.  Good work, Batman.

Leon Panetta, Another Great Pick By Obama

So, Obama's genius is on display again, with rock-ribbed reactionary conservative cocksucker Leon Panetta butt fucking him in public to sell another shitty book.  Obama sure can pick 'em.  This asshole was another of the inner circle.  Like Rahm.  Geithner.  Clinton.  Brilliant.

It Snowed Once, But It IS Getting Hotter In Here

Fuckheads, shitstains, other Fox "News" viewers, Koch-suckers, and random Republican jerk-offs don't get it but, chaotic systems and heat engines will be making things pretty interesting around this planet for a long time.  Life will prevail, but what we recognize and require for comfort may not be anywhere in sight.  As much fun as it will be to rub their noses in it, the reality will suck for everyone.

St. Louis Is Full Of Assholes

How could it not be!  Assholes are everywhere, but these particular assholes win the prize today.  Congrats.  I'm sure your bitch mothers are proud of you.

The New 'Twin Peaks'

Will probably be as pointless and pointlessly bad as Chinese Democracy--and will probably sink immediately never to be mentioned again with as little notice, but I have a goofy hope that there will be something to this beyond kitsch and posing. 

Days Of Future Pass'd

As we gear up for the next round of infantry operations in Iraq and Syria and wherever the fuck else, we can amuse ourselves with this neat shoutout to trench warfare in a previous war.  If ISIS gets boring and stops producing YouTube beheading videos for our entertainment, maybe trench warfare would be a way to spice up the war beyond the same old sandy thing.  Whatever it takes!

So, St. Louis Has A Symphony

And a few people go. Who knew?  This sort of protest/action is probably less effective but also less bloody than dragging one of the audience members out and shooting them to death for no reason.  Annoying a few douchebags in order to hopefully increase awareness is okay, and that stunt did take balls, mostly because they stuck with it and were going to finish regardless of the reception they got.  The performance was pretty fucking good too.  If I was being picky, I would say that I hope these folks are also directly protesting the police and the fucked up justice system in general in addition to the symphony.  The "Which Side Are You On?" riffing was nicely done.  Which side, indeed.

Nerds And Dweebs And Geeks Are Easy To Con

Easier than THEY believe, anyway.  Loving science fiction and movies and tee vee doesn't make you a scientist and doesn't make you properly skeptical.  Anyway, clean coal is an industry fiction, so I guess that's right in wheelhouse for a certain audience.

Our War Economy

We need more war, not more jobs!  Or something.  But, when some numbers look good, or better, then the politicians, not just the President, get to crow and spew bullshit, even if those numbers don't mean much.  It's not just Dems and not just Republicans.  They all do it and it is all nonsense.  Except for war profiteers, the economy is still very week, with incomes down and good jobs as scarce as ever.  This restructuring, with incomes being forced down for most, is not a mistake.  It's part of a plan; unfortunately for the Koch-suckers and other fucktards in the 1%, it is not sustainable.  They don't understand that.  Yet.

Don't Cry For Me, Jeremy Clarkson

For the most part, Clarkson is a foul ape, but he can be funny, and this is pretty arch.  The Argentinians made a mistake by getting upset; they should have just shot him and and dumped him in a shallow grave.

Fun Tinfoil-Hat Loon Fisking

Dipshits rule America, even if troofers don't get much traction with the proles.  It IS fun to laugh at the idiots, though, so it's all good.

Chief O'Brien Is On PBS Now, I Guess

After retiring from Starfleet and getting canned by CNN, Miles O'Brien bobbed up with PBS to call Fox "News" stupid on CNN.  That's a career!

Let's Bomb Bibi

If we're gonna bomb some people in the middle east, we should bomb Bibi.  That miserable bastard is as evil as a human who ever walked gods' green earth or anywhere else, and if we bomb, let's bomb that motherfucker.

Idiots Perspective

As a group, these dumb fucks are not up to this.  The warmongering asswhipes dominate the upper-middle-class twit cohort. 

Skul

Melissa Etheridge On Huckabee's Show? Did Cancer Recently Spread To Her Brain?

Did that fat fuck Mike Huckabee just say that Melissa Etheridge was gonna be on his show tonight?  Really?  I mean, I was never a Melissa Etheridge fan; she always came across as a needy, idiot-little-sister-of-Bruce-Springsteen type, and I fucking hate Bruce Springsteen.  But she was a famous dyke, so how fucking desperate does she have to be to go on a show with a nasty, hate-mongering cocksucker like Mike Huckabee on Fox Fucking "News"?  That's sick.  Unless, of course, cancer has spread to her brain, and she can't be held responsible for her behavior.  That must be it.

America's Foreign Policy Is A Playscape For Idiots

So, our glorious imperial adventure, 2014 edition, is whole-cloth horseshit?  Imagine that.  We are usually so much more sophisticated.  The American people have always been way too smart to give into insane hatred and racism fomented to enrich a few war profiteers.  What's changed?

Megyn Kelly Sux

She simultaneously sucks AND blows.  Kelly's as fucking stupid and self-deluded as Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity; it's only because she's a weird-looking blonde on Murdoch's televised whore house that she gets even a smidge of credit she in no way deserves.

To The Extent That I Wear Skirts

Nate Silver's Outa His League

Silver's pretty much autistic on this shit, but Prof. Wang is a for-real scientist, so Silver should just shut the fuck up.  If Wang's wrong, he'll cop to it no problem and revise his method to improve.  That's how shit's done in the real world, a world Silver has at best a passing acquaintance.

2014, 1992, Same As It Never Was, This Time In Brooklyn

If China Fucks Up In Hong Kong, Nothing Will Change

It won't matter 10 minutes after it's over.  The US can't do anything and won't care anyway.  Peter Lee thinks that the situation will not be completely resolved and just fester along happily waiting for bigger shit to hit bigger fans.  Well, that won't change anything either.  The West and China are on this merry go round together till the whole shit show ends, and then HK's silliness won't even be noticed.

Hey, Remember The Extended Unemployment Benefits Obama And The Dems Didn't Get?

As the Democratic machine rattles to a stop weeks before the election, I wonder how many disenchanted, disenfranchised, and disinterested Dem voters dropped off the chuckwagon when the Dems and the President just gave up the fight for the poor and struggling people in the face of Republican insanity.  And the SNAP cuts.  Minimum wage.  And the other shit which matters day in and day out to millions but gets ignored with wonderful facility by the Democratic establishment.  Pocketbook issues.  Daily suffering.  When every election becomes a surrender to the rock-ribbed right wing horseshit narrative, how long will it take to the better among us recognized the pattern?  I'll bet on never.

And...Benghazi

This thing is a year old, but the Dems should have brought it back hard during this campaign season.  ALL of the House seats are up for election this year, and quite a few of them have made themselves look like fucking morons over this Benghazi nonsense.  In a gerrymandered world, many of those Republican cocksucking congress critters are hard to unseat, but why the fuck wouldn't you make an all-out run at the insanity and lies, especially if your chances were slim to begin with?  Stupid.  And so what if it didn't work 100% of the time?  A national campaign, a nationalized campaign by the Dems, could have delivered way more than they stand to get as of now with Benghazi a big part of it.  Ask Howard Dean.  Or not.  Just be fucking lamer versions of Republicans and everything will be fine, just fine.

Barbara Lee Speeks For Nobody, As Far As The Political Establishment Is Concerned

War is peace, freedom is slavery...But regardless of what a very few in the government like Barbara Lee say, the USA is a perpetual war machine, with profiteering and death and horror the business we're in.  There's nothing to stop the party, because we love it.  It enriches us, comforts us, and entertains us.  It is us.  I've seen the enemy, and...

Political Song for Stupid White Boys to Sing

Assclown Central, The Next Generation

Just case you believed we were close to running out of assclowns, asshats, assholes, fuckwits, and dipshits, along with various random miserable motherfuckers, well, you were very wrong.  The very last upper-middle class white guy on earth will be dumb as a post, ignorant as fuck, and complaining very loudly that you are not telling him how pretty and smart he is and giving him your stuff.  That will never end.  The very last human in the universe may be a privileged white dude just so he can complain that nobody is listening to his bullshit.

Ebola Is Coming To America To Kill White Christians--I Blame Obama

That black guy in that white's house has brought Ebola to America because he hates whites and christians and loves blahs and mooslims.  We are all gonna die because we didn't elect a properly pale dude as the president.  Mitt Romney or John McCain would never have sent Ebola to kill us all.  They love white people like jesus.

Sooper Geniuses At Work

No, I didn't read the thread, but when the teabagging upper-class twits gets rolling, I guess it should be funny.  By the way, don't take financial advice from Koch-sucking douchebags on the Serotta Forum.