Hopes And Tidings

Fairy Tales Of NY

This Will Always Be Weird: Roger Dorn And Arnie Becker Are Creepy Conservative Christians

Doesn't fit, somehow.  Corbin Bernsen does not seem like the type who would be making creepy fucking jesus movies with fine actors like Kevin Sorbo and John Voight.  He grew up in the business and should know better, you'd think.  These fuckers are demented, too.  Gross.

A Constant Refrain: Those Early Rivendell Bikes Were So Nice, The Road Frame, The Atlantis

So good. All that was missing at the beginning was a Riv MB-1 and a Riv RB-1.  Real racing style lugged steel bikes.  But it never happened.  The Road frame was almost a fancy RB-1, and the Atlantis was the perfect bike for its intended use.  The Rambouillet, the Saluki (650B), the Bleriot (cheaper Saluki), even the Long-Low canti road frames, those things should have made Grant rich beyond his least-wild dreams.  Hell, Grant should have been able to sell the shit out of a lugged, steel cyclocross frame suited to real racing, like a Swiss Cross with lugs and a steel fork.  Time was not kind to Rivendell, though.  The bikes got goofier and tackier, and Grant never focused on the 650B gravel bike trend he started, any more than he made bank off any of the other trends he reignited or helped bring back.  Sad.  There hasn't been a Riv bike I'd buy offered in almost a generation.  Shitting on Rivendell is a storied pastime at this point.  I'm glad I got the generation one Atlantis when I did.  The Riv MB-1 and Riv RB-1 would still have been steady-sellers today.  In the end I guess Grant didn't care.  Paging Zathras.

Dancing Lessons

Conservative Neoliberal Dems Are Worse Than Ass Cancer

Or rock-ribbed GOP base Trumptard baggatron cocksuckers.  The establishment conservative neoliberal Dems destroyed American democracy by maintaining the Democratic Party as a conservative poor cousin of the Republican Party.  The top priority now is a mainstream centrist Democratic Party pushing the common-sense popular centrist agenda of Bernie Sanders.  No more rock-ribbed reactionary Dems like Clinton and Obama; that right-wing scum has no place in government or society.  Once we get the centrist agenda like national healthcare, voting rights, minimum wage, union representation, tax-funded higher education, in place, well, then we can finally get around to the needed center-left policies.  Baby steps.

Tigerz

Hard To Believe Bre Payton Died Of Swine Flu--Who Said Comedy Was Dead?

And who funds the Federalist, anyway?  Maybe they shoulda funded a flu shot or two as well. 

Music For Americans

Some People Still Like Star Wars Even After Those Assclowns J.J. And Rian Killed It

That's cute.  SW was at best dumb fun, but loosing a couple of fucking dumbass jerkoff hacks like J.J. Abrams and Rian Johnson all over it with unlimited Disney money turned out to be a yuge mistake.  Those fucking dummies had no clue.  And now it sucks major ass and nobody cares.  Shitting all over SW is the only entertainment left in the thing.  Thanks, Trump!

This Is Not Even Close To The Best Smiths Song

Holy Fucking Shit Josh Marshall Is The Corn Cob Of The Day

More embarrassing than the dumb porn tweet.  Marshall is a top-tier thirsty striver; he wants to graduate from pissboy so fucking badly.  Plus he's a fatuous neoliberal dipshit, so that makes him funny.  Thanks, Trump!

Gossip Kids Political Club Figures Out That Claire McCaskill Sucks Major Ass

Bye, Felicia.  The Dems won't miss McCaskill--she was as bad as a teabagger on most things.  Fuck her.

AOC, on the other hand, is pretty good so far and should be the model of better, decent or decentish elected Dems going forward.  Pointing out that AOC's priorities are pretty much boring centrist boilerplate is good policy, too.  AOC and her comrades are only called leftists by rock-ribbed reactionary neoliberal establishment Dems shitbags like Claire McCaskill.

Donald Trump Is Dumber Than Dog Shit

That deranged fucker Trump can't even read.  Imagine being the unpaid Liberty University intern who had to explain to Trump what Mad Dog's letter really meant.  Fucking scary.  Mattis was fired by Obama because Mattis kept hopping up on the furniture, dropping his pants, and pissing all over everything while screaming "Iran" over and over in public, but compared to the rest of Trump's people that fucking Mad Dog asshole seems almost sober and/or sane.  Nice.  Thanks, Trump!

Shaun King: Slow Motion Corn Cob

In the end, never completely trust anyone who spells Sean improperly.  The lure of the Obama-fluffing rock-ribbed neoliberal conservative establishment Dem sinecure is a horrible thing.

Imagine Being As Dumb As Amanda Marcotte

And saying out loud that Bernie Sanders had success because he was a charismatic white guy.  That sort of fatuous insanity boggles any mind, but leaves Marcotte completely alone.  Jesus frakking christ on a hoverboard, Sanders was for sure a charisma guy and not an old dude who had been toiling away with the same agenda for like six decades or anything, waiting for the Dems to catch up to him.  Nope.  It was all about his pretty-boy charm and charisma.  And TV skills.  Yep.  Fucking dipshit.  Neoliberal shithead like Marcotte are fucking worse than rectal cancer.

Happy St. Stephen's Day Owen Labrie From Your Friends At Andover, Choate, Deerfield, Exeter, And Hotchkiss

You cannot imagine the orgiastic joy being felt at the other top-tier boarding schools over Owen Labrie.  He's the gift that keeps on giving, and the gift that manages to keep them out of the papers yet another week.  You can't buy better news for those fuckers.  It's a glorious St. Stephen's Day for all!

Beta Cuck Loser Cadet Bone Spurs Finally Visits A Sorta War Zone 55 Years Late

World famous pussy Donald Trump was finally shamed into visiting something like a war zone after missing out for better part of the last six decades.  I wonder how pairs of underpants he went through on the flight before Melania ordered the POTUS diaper installation? 

Roasting QAnon Tards For Fun And Little Profit

Fucking christ on roller skates.  Is it wrong to laugh at the sadness and desperation of these idiots?  Never.  Thanks, Trump!

Joyz Of The Season

Chrismis Story

NY Story

Waitin'

Tis The Season For The Twits To Suck

And some dickface and the OP lock something, something, something.  Probably offended the carbon rim cabal so he was threatened.  But cyclists are the biggest dopes when it comes to believing that newer crap is better because reasons.  Or because something is good/great for one application it must be the best for everything, no matter heavy, dumb, ugly, expensive, useless it is.  Road discs!  Brilliant!  Nobody is a dimwit easy mark quite like a cyclist with money to spend. 

The General Unmans Rock-Ribbed Neoliberal Shitstain John Aravosis

That was easy.  Seldom will humanity witness a drive-by fisking so elegant. 

Like All Conservatives, Caleb Hull Is Very Dumb And Does Not Know How Harvard, SATs, Or Math Work

All, every, any conservative is dumber than dog shit.  It's also nice that Caleb Hull does not understand basic math.  And he's never known a Harvard student if he thinks they're any smarter than an average jerkoff.  Plus, taking the Harvard SAT numbers from a website that sells SAT prep and admissions info is probably a tiny bit naive.  But then again, conservatives are dumber than dog shit.  Good on Boss Hogg going to Harvard if he wants to, though.  Hogg is a famous guy, and elite and elitist institutions like Harvard love fame as much as they love money.

Welcome 2 The House Of Fun

Unexpected Dave Weigel Signal-Boost Of Mark Kozelek

Weigel has atrocious taste in music, but Mark Kozelek is oodles of fun.  Rollercoaster is a fucking tremendous record, and Kozelek's best.

Virag, Can A Limey Cocksucker Be A Corn Cob? J.K. Rowling

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Flaming Out And Proud Not Gay Hetero Harlan Hill Is A Manly Very Stable Genius

Harlan Hil sure seems nice and cosmopolitan and not at all like a creepy frail closet case. Not. At. All.  Smart man that Harlan Hill.  Sparkling intellect.  Husky fucker, too.  All man.  Very normal.  Just another Trump guy.  Sad.  Anybody who says Harlan Hill is a demented little weirdo and screaming fucking moron is wrong.  Wrong!  Thanks, Trump.

Toilet Magnate Matt Whitaker Is Suddenly Very Sick Of So Much Winning

Trump's very own Flush King Matt Whitaker is getting very sick of all that winning pretty fucking quickly.  Maybe Whitaker caught something from a dirty toilet in the White House?  Did he get sick of winning from a filthy Trump toilet?  Did he catch the herpes from Melania or Ivanka?  Sad.  Thanks, Trump!

Day In, Day Out, Year After Year, Bruce K Is A Dick

Just sayin'.  That guy fucking blows.  The worst of the useless twits.  Carry on.

Menz Rites Activist

Another Lively Fisking Of Those Dumb Spot Leaf Spring Bikes

Those bikes are so fucking stupid.  And obviously utter fucking shit.  Sad.  Thanks, Trump!

Why Would Jeff Do A Video On Fork Offset When It's Clear He Has No Idea What He's Talking About?

Jeff Cayley manages to fuck up everything about fork offset, trail, and geometry in a video that must have been very informative to white trash mountain bikers and other gop baggatron cocksuckers.  What poor Jeff doesn't seem to get is that the major benefit of shorter offset is a shorter wheelbase, ESPECIALLY on a bike where the fork length changes.  Jesus.  Suspension fork.  Hello?  Gods damn, people are fucking stupid.  Slacker but keeping the wheelbase as short as you can, that's the key, but Jeff completely misses it.  Does he even know how suspension forks work?  But sure, trust this idiot.  Go ahead.

Eddie The Otter Accomplished More Than Donald Trump

More friends too.  Even though Eddie splashed around most of the time eating fish, dunking balls and playing with his dick, that's a more useful life than Trump.  Sad.

4 Luva Money

David Sirota Did A Journalism And Upset The Fatuous Neoliberal Establishment Dems

Conservative establishment Democrats are like slow, simple children; they need heroes and hate complexity and are frightened of nuance.  Facts are the fucking worst, so when David Sirota acted like a reporter and did reporting about Beto's record, well, it made those neoliberal fuckwits very, very angry.  Every Hillary pissboy and Obama fluffer out there got their big kid pullups pulled all the way up and threw a genuine hissy fit.  It's all that mean old Jew's fault.  If not for the silly old socialist Hillary would have won and everyone would have had that sparkly rainbow pony TBogg promised his idiot kid.  For realz!  Sad.  Thanks, Obama.

In Our Exceptional America, Even A Troll (Or A Bot) Can Be A Corn Cob

What a wonderful time to be alive!  Corn cob's are truly egalitarian!  Thanks, Trump.

Mad Dog Too Fucking Sick Of All That Winning

So much winning for Mad Dog Mattis.  Mad Dog got so sick of winning that he decided to quit.  Like a loser.  Genius!  Another rock-ribbed dipshit checking out.  Thanks, Trump!

Political Song for Gothamist to Sing

Gothamist Completely Bungles The Hot Duck Story

Ducks in zoos are fucking bullshit.  The Hot Duck is running around loose, and that's your fucking story.  Jesus.  The lamestream media sucks ass.

Is There A Bigger Neoliberal Dipshit And Rampant Establishment Pissboy Than John Aravosis? No, There Is Not

Few sniveling noeliberal careerist pissboys snivel or gurgle piss with as much enthusiasm as John Aravosis.  I guess we should be happy for the demented entertainment these rock-ribbed right-wing idiots provide while they destroy our society more effectively than a hundred toothless, web-toed Trumptards.  Imagine being so dumb that you think Beto is a liberal firebrand and not a relatively conservative Democrat with good innate political skills who would be an upgrade in Texas over Cruz or Cornyn?  Well, Aravosis is just that big of a fuckhead.  Fabulous!  Thanks, Trump.

There Sure Are A Metric Fuck Ton Of Dumb Motherfuckers Out There, Matt Smethurst Edition

Not all those crazy stupid motherfuckers are christians, but lots of 'em are.  Jesus motherfrakking christ eating a dollar-store corn dog, America is too fucking inane to live, and risible fundie lunatics like Matt Smethurst are a big reason why.

H.A.Y. Nineteen

Excellent Fisking Of Kamala Harris In Jacobin

Branko Marcetic pummels Kamala Harris because it's both righteous and fun.  Harris ain't gonna win if the good folks have anything to do with it, mostly because she's a lightweight, careerist neoliberal piece of shit.  Win with Booker/Harris or Harris/Booker!  Genius!  Dems are pretty fucking hopeless.

Owen Labrie, Doin' Choate A Solid Once Again

St. Paul's favorite son Owen Labrie is like a one-man army on a mission to keep Steve Farrell and Choate outa the papers.  Thanks, Trump!

Even The Russians Are Dragging Clara Jeffery

Lower than Trump, even.  RT has some fun, because even Russkies deserve to laugh sometimes.  Thanks, Trump piss whores.

Time Zone

Senate Loser Martha McSally Is Getting Ready To Be So Sick Of So Much Winning In 2020

Martha McSally is soon to be a two-time loser.  The only people in Arizona who are gonna hate McSally more than the Dems are the GOP, who will make sure she's a two-time loser in two years' time.  Thanks, Trump!

Meanwhile, Kyrsten Sinema will be the senior senator from AZ.

She?

Clara Jeffery: A Cob's Corn Cob

Time to delete that fucking account, toots.  Jeffery gets brutalized for being a fucking dimwit, and the gods know she deserves it.  Should the real Mother Jones ever find her way back here, Jeffery's will surely be the first ass MJ kicks.  Jeffery is another dopey conservative over privileged mediocre white woman like that Wonkette idiot, Sadie Doyle, Hillary Clinton, and about a billion others who are too stupid and shallow to be allowed vote.  Or drive.  Damn, white people suck.

Imagine Being So Dumb That You Think Kamala Harris Would Be A Good Presidential Candidate

Jesus christ, that's fucking stupid.  I'd rather have the real thing, Willie Brown, instead of the sad neoliberal stand-in Kamala Harris.  The same idiot white women who led Hillary Clinton to losing to Trump are gonna do their best to embarrass the species again next time, too.  There's no shortage of rock-ribbed conservative inanity in the Democratic Party.

Fairly Subdued Drive-By Fisking Of Michelle Obama

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CC: Pride Of Teh Yankees

Sabathia plays the game the way it should be played, like a man--this is why we don't let girls play--and the Yankees understand that.  Good for them.

If Jeebus Raptured All The Twits Into A Toilet At A Rest Stop On The NJ Turnpike, You Would Not Miss Them

They are just fucking useless.  All the wealth, all the privilege of being a white guy in America in the 21st century, and those fucks are simply dumber than rocks.  Gods damn.

Threatin Is Still Better Thank Kanye Or Cardi B.

Or Beyonce.  I didn't even listen to his shitty music, but there's no way this weasel shitbag is any worse than Meghan Trainor or Justin Bieber or Jay Z or Puff Didly.

Budget Ben Ritz Is A Discount Corn Cob

He was not pwned! By those angry lefties. Not. At. All.  That poor dumb bastard discount Ben turned himself into a corn cob and then jammed that fucker right up his own ass.  Sad.  Thanks, Hillary!

Little Mikey Flynn Has Been A Very Bad Boy

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Political Song for Judge Emmett Sullivan to Sing

A Sista's Luv

Break Ing Away Masi

Repro.  From the bottom of the world.

Discount Harry Plinkett Has A Grand Time Shitting On Star Wars

This is an entertaining YouTube video.  It isn't really a discount Mr. Plinkett review at all, but fuck you, too.

Heartfelt Fisking Of Vile Neocon Shitrag The Weekly Standard

Jon Schwarz gets in on the fun kicking Bill Kristol and The Weekly Standard when they're dead.  This is the best of America.  Bill Kristol, Fred Barnes, and The Weekly Standard were the worst of humanity.  Fuck them.  Fuck the rotting corpse of that horrible racist neocon fishwrap.

Radio Spirits

Fun-Filled Fisking Of Jim Hoft, The Dumbest Man On The Internet

Jim Hoft might seem like too-easy of a target, but gods' damn, it's always good clean fun to point and laugh at a disgusting conservative fucktard and literal teabagger.  Jim Hoft deserves no sympathy from any decent life form.  Sad.  Thanks, Trump!

Reminder That Health Care Is Better Anywhere But Here

Signal boost from 2016.  Health care in the US is a scam to enrich a few already rich companies at the cost of human suffering and death.  That's a fucking shitty system.  Even fucking Cuba can figure out how to do great with not much money to spend.  Priorities!  Thanks, Trump.

Talktalk

Twits Know Nothing, John Snowe

The most disgusting thing about upper-class twits: how fucking ignorant and provincial they are.  Twits don't understand France, but that's not much of surprise as useless white people in America might have no experience with anything useful.  Twits don't understand nuclear power, either, but holy shit those over-privileged bastard children of Dunning and Kruger sure as shit think they do.  Recycle the waste!  Genius!  What about the mining and processing?  Huh?  Exactly!  Fucking morons.  Anyone from Indiana is a fucking disgusting asswipe, also.  That's a law.

The Quite Decent Gats Bee

More Masi Blues For Allan

Another Masi, another blue.

Charlie Pierce Goes Off

He's not wrong, you know.  The asylum seekers, fleeing repression, violence, war, poverty mostly caused by exceptional American fuck-ups, those people mostly require dollars worth of basic water and first aid attention at the border, but that is a luxury the miserable evil cocksuckers in charge of our glorious empire refuse to provide because they suck major ass.  If the decent folks in the shabby American hinterland were to stand up for one second and demand decency, well, then things might change.  Until then, you get racist shitbag Republicans killing kids in everyone's name.  Thanks, Trump.

Green New Deal: Not So New And Don't Forget The Green

A Green New Deal is a fabulous concept around which to structure policies to cut the military, curb fossil fuel use, stimulate the economy, and create necessary social programs, but as people have been pointing out, the idea is not as new as the next Congress.  It's been around a while, and the new kids onboard should probably acknowledge a bit of that.  Just sayin'.

And The Cowboys Lost, Too--That's A Tip Top Day

The Cowboys and their fans were heinous garbage people long before Tom Brady was a thing, so it is always good when they get embarrassed on the gridiron.  Racist America's Team can eat a whole container of salted dicks every fucking day of the week!  Thanks, Trump!

Merry Brexit, Limey Fuckers

Ruh-Roh Patsies

At least there's some good left in the world: the Patsies lost again.  No matter how shitty the world gets and no matter how many children are killed by ICE, when the cheaters Patriots lose a game, there's a reason to smile.

Racist Munchkin Stephen Miller Has Aquired Steven Seagal's Hilarious Hairline

That's a good lookin' little guy.  If that greasy undersized petty-fascist bigot had one single friend in this world, said friend would have stopped him from going on the tee vee lookin' like that, but thanks to loving gods, he doesn't so he did.  Fucking brilliant.  Thanks, Trump.

Juul E

Cali Masi

The start of the trouble.  Nice bike, though, done, re-done, and finally un-done again.  Blue again, too.

Ryan Zinke, Clumsy And Incompetent Thief, Super Fucking Sick Of So Much Winning

Too much winning for Zinke.  That poor dumb bastard just couldn't find a way to steal from the government without everybody finding out.  Not a good look.  Thanks, Trump!

Breaking: Fatuous Rock-Ribbed Neoliberal John Judis Is Sorry To See Bill Kristol's Neocon Vanity Fishwrap Go!

Who could believe it??  I for one am so fucking shocked that a life-long conservative establishment pissboy like John Judis would be mourning the vile racist, war-mongering hard-right vanity press fishwrap given to Bill Kristol by his father Irving.  Shocked!  And to think John Judis is in league with a sparkling intellectual rebel like Josh Marshall...

Me Toonz

Kristmiss

Joe Ricketts Is Even Dumber Than Most Rich Guys, Maybe

Could be. Maybe not.  Regardless, Joe Ricketts and his entire stupid family are pretty good examples of why if when we start guillotining oligarchs in the street, the species will not be losing any brainpower whatsoever.  (And if you ever needed more proof that unions are the best thing mankind has ever come up with and still won't believe it, well, fuck you, too, Joe.)

Wicked Wicked Midnite

Please, Jeebus, Give Us Chief Of Staff Newt Gingrich

What a sweet roiling clusterfuck of inanity Newt would be!  If Jeebus was a god who loved us so fucking much, he would put Newt Gingrich into the job.  Trump and Newt together would be so fucking insane that it would rip a giant hole in reality and implode the universe.  Come on, Jeebus, ya' fucker.

Rollicking Fisking Of Human Dung Beetle Jonathan Chait

Well-known super genius Jonathan Chait has all the depth of a bottle cap, but that doesn't mean the universe should miss an opportunity to take a toxic greasy shit all over him.  Of course a pampered lap dog like Chait is scared for his job because some of the smelly proles decide to organize.  Of course.  That's why owners pamper certain pets.  Chait is nothing more than a very bad dog.

Bomber Aerospace Materials

1977 Confente

I like the blue.  Apparently some paint repair was done by Jim Cunningham, so...

Fatuous Jerkoff David Fahrenthold, Fan Of Eric 'Game Theory' Garland, Is A Yuge Corn Cob

Time to delete your account, asshole.  It's nice that David Fahrenthold is not shy about consistently outing himself as a fucking nimrod, just like his buddy Eric Garland.  Thanks, Trump!

Michael Cohen Has Three Years To Get Even More Sick Of So Much Winning

How many more Trumptards are goin' to prison before Trump is the last one left?  I really wanna see Uday or Qusay throw Trump under the bus.  That would be the most fun ever.  Thanks, Trump!

Picking At The Greasy Bones, Mario

 Hey! I remember when that was going down in real time on the CR list.  Fun times.  I don't know these folks, but Jim Cunningham always seemed a bit off but that might have been the fact that his refinishing was always about the most expensive you find when I was young and poor.  That said, Brian Baylis always seemed really off, especially his fucking ugly and tacky baroque road frame stylings.  And now after the recent Charles Nighbor, who was also part of the original threads on the CR list--Hi! Charles--rant about Brett Kavanaugh via email outed both CR Dale and Lou Deeter as nasty fucking conservative shitbags, well, Jim Cunningham suddenly seems like the way more sympathetic and credulous character in this little morality play.  But who knows.  Baylis is dead and Jim Allen is not giving us much else to go on.  All I know right now is that fucking racist conservatives like Brown and Deeter can eat a giant bag of salted dicks for all I care no matter what bikes they like or what they've done in the past, and I would never believe a word they say on any topic.  Fuck them. 

Heart Of Mekon

Here's An Idea: No More Ass Clowns Like John Timmer Writing About Bikes

Genius!  This dope Timmer clearly doesn't ride and doesn't know shit about bikes.  All the stuff he talks about as major changes to road bike design amounts to shiny baubles when considered against the history of what we would call road racing bikes.  Now, if he'd talked about racing mountain bikes, like modern enduro and downhill bikes especially, with a short history of design and use and lots of useful and useless innovations and changes over that same short time, well, maybe, but that's not what he's talking about, so fuck him.

Don't Forget About Animatronic Corn Cob Jack Burkman--He Solved The Seth Rich Murder

And as soon as Burkman and Jacob Wohl stop jerking each other off, they're gonna tell the rest of the world all about their Hardy Boys adventure.  Sad.  Thanks, Trump!

Conservatives Ruin Everything And Dave Cullen Is A Fucking Imbecile

This is easily the dumbest Idiocracy take you'll ever find.  Conservatives are too stupid to understand anything, especially satire and social commentary, so Dave Cullen is hella fucked on this.  Idocracy is far from a perfect movie, but Dave Cullen is such a fucking maroon that he doesn't understand that the people being so viciously insulted in the flick are people just like him.  Brilliant!

Light-Hearted Gossip Kids Story Of Poisoning America For Fun And Profit

Get the gods-damned government out of our freedom!  Red tape destroys innovation!  Faceless bureaucrats are evil!  The free market will solve all our problems!  The IRS is unconstitutional!  America has the greatest health care system in the world!  Venezuela!  Benghazi!  Deep State!  QAnon!

Lively Fisking Of The Creepy John Kyl

David Dayen skins John Kyl alive just for fun.  Kyl is a fucking demented GOP creep, and everyone should know what a shitbag he is. 

Rock-Ribbed Racist Conservative GOP Baggatron Cocksukers Live In A Delusional Deranged Right-Wing Dystopia

It's a sick, sad world for those demented fucks.  There's nothing more disgusting than a teabagger.  Thanks, Trump!

Every Other Member Of The Cast Of Stargate: Atlantis Should Have Had A Part In Aquaman, Too.

That woulda been badass. Aquaman, Atlantis, it all fits.  And I'm sure discount Richard Dean Anderson, discount Jennifer Lopez, Kate Hewlett's brother, discount woman in charge, the Russian guy, Jewel Staite would have loved the gig.  They put John Crichton in the GOTG flick.

Any Day Now, Definitely Not-Dead JFK Jr. Will Be Coming To Save Us All

With Trump, jesus, Mueller, Alex Jones.  It will be great.  JFK Jr. is definitely not dead.  Not dead at all.  Where we go one fucking asshole, all the other fucking retards go 2.  MAGA!  Thanks, Trump.

Post-Mersh Vol. 282

This Is A Quality Product Review Of The RokBlok

With bonus Thinking Fellers Union Local 282 content.  First, the frogs, and now the records...

The Meta Particle

Heartfelt Fisking Of Rasmussen Reports

Teabaggers like to pretend that Rasmussen is the most accurate pollster, so it is loverly that CNN decided to take a giant toxic greasy dump all over those demented fucks.  Rasmussen is a part of the right-wing propaganda machine and are the exact opposite of an accurate polling outfit.  I'm sure the baggatron cocksuckers were infinitely butthurt over this brutal fisking.  Sad.  Thanks, Trump!

Obama's Legacy On Health Care Will Be As Awful As Clinton's And Every Republican's

Obama will go down as one of the worst presidents ever, but not for the imbecilic racist reasons the baggatron cocksuckers always bring up.  Being a blah was not Obama's problem; being a shitty rock-ribbed conservative who enabled and empowered the worst conservatives in America was Obama's problem.  Now is the time for the Dems to make Single Payer an absolute litmus test for their party.  Don't hold your breath.

Baggatron Cocksuckers Are So Dumb That They Don't Know The Difference Between Weather And Climate

Conservatives will always believe every lie they're told because they are too stupid to know any better.  Baggatron cocksuckers are the lowest form of life in the known universe.  Sad.  Thanks, Trump!

Burning For Youz

A Moped Called Johnny

Punk's not dead, fuckers.  Not dead!  But old.  Still fun, though.  Certainly a sense of unbridled dumb fun ages waayyy better than plodding self-importance, brainless histrionics, or unintentional self-parody.  That's not nothing. 

Nick Ayers Is Pretty Fucking Sick Of So Much Winning At This Point

So much winning is making a shitload of Republicans very fucking sick.  How can they stand much more winning?  Sad.  Thanks, Trump!

The Dolphins Do The Lords' Work Against The Patsies

For once, jesus decides to not be a fucking dick.  When the Patsies lose, a purring cuddly kitten gets some scritches. 

Gavin McInnes Is Sick To Fucking Death Of All The Winning

Gavin McInnes, a boy who is very proud to be a barely-closeted case, is so very sick of so much motherfucking winning.  First, Gavin won with his gay little online website, then he won lots with his petty-fascist gay boy's club, and now he won again with Glenn Beck's Nazi hoedown.  That's a fuck ton of winning!  Thanks, Trump!

Out Of Minds

NC-09 Is Pointing The Way For Dem's Dominance

Hit voter suppression and GOP election fraud hard.  Anyone could win with that, even the Dems.  If they want.  If...

HamNo is on the case.

QAnon's Implosion After The Midterms Was A Sin Against Comedy

The GOP shitshow in the midterm election really eviscerated the QAnon nonsense.  Once Trump and the Republicans were exposed as bumbling senile dipshits, it seemed that most of the fun went out of that QAnon insanity, so ably embodied by the braying asswipe Martin Geddes.  Where they went on, they were all so fucking stupid.  Sad.  The QAnon assholes were relentlessly wrong and gloriously bugfuck nutty; that combo is beautiful, beautiful thing, and we will miss that extra spark of inanity that QAnon once delivered.  But don't worry dotards, Q and Trump and Mueller and Jeff Sessions are just about to open eleventy billion FISA warrants any day now and take out the deep state pedophile cannibal cabal and send Hillary and Obama and Bush and Jim Acosta and all the rest to prison awaiting very public hangings.  Any. Fucking. Day. Now...

Why Are We Not Hearing Much More About This Alan Dershowitz Jeffrey Epstein Atrocity

Dershowitz was and is a fucking criminal, so why isn't this the big or a big story out there?  If any sick fucking pervert deserves to be taken out of circulation before the other sick fucking perverts, it's Alan Dershowitz.  Thanks, Trump!

Lively Fisking Of Ross Douthat

Poor little Ross Douthat does not really make friends, apparently.  Nobody likes the little creep even a little bit, and it shows.  And it's hilarious, so that makes it great.  Thanks, Trump!

Ever Longing

Pete Shelley: So Many Great Songs

Only 63.  But there were so many great songs.  And the influence on so much good music made in the 40+ years since.  RIP Pete Shelley.

Oranges Are Not The Only Corn Cobs

Jesus friggin' crispy.  This shit is sad.  Anyone can just drag that poor stupid fucker, and there's nothing he can do about it.  Sad.

RIP Pete Shelley

Buzznhowl'd

A Babby Song

Somewhere The MySpace Folks Are Laughing Their Asses Off

Facebook: If you didn't know it was fucking bullshit from day one, please kill yourself.  Hell, Zuckerberg even ripped off the name of his gay website from the actual printed Facebook with pictures of the freshmen in it that you got at the start of every year, routinely called the Pig Book, so, everybody probably should have known how it would end.  Yet plenty of masters of the universe types were happy to throw money at that fucking garbage, so the suicide booths should be quite busy for a good long while.

Twits Know Nothing, But Like Most White People, They Think They Are Experts

Jesus, twits are fucking clueless.  And white people suck.  We all know this, but somehow upper-class dolts on the Serotta Forum have enjoyed so much privilege and yet are so fucking dim.  Sad.  Thanks, Trump!

Democrats Are Too Stupid To Live

In the end, most Dems are gossip kids.  Al Franken certainly understands the vacuity of rank and file Dems and elected Dems and Dem pundits.  In the end, if this woo-hoo Indian thing leads to a Sanders candidacy instead of a Warren candidacy, well, that's good.  Otherwise, the Dems are so dumb that they deserve Trump. 

Neera Tanden: Corn Cob

Tanden is an idiot and neoliberal scumsucker of titanic proportions.  She's the Dems' personal walking talking rectal cancer.  Still, I know Liz Bruenig is a bit of a pint-sized it girl right now amongst the entry level establishment "liberal" Dems cool kid Dems on the interwebs, but she's a fucking lightweight.  She comes across as comically provincial in general, and nobody with her insane religious beliefs could be considered a vital lefty or even a vital centery anywhere but the Washington Post.  It doesn't take a fucking genius to say that Beto is perhaps not the ideal Dem presidential candidate or to dunk on Neera Tanden, but I guess there's no fighting fashion, but this is probably not the time to be dragging anyone who is a Sanders supporter, so...

Sticky Note

Ross Douthat Is An Odd Little Man

Bill Buckley homoeroticism is the least-weird thing about Ross Douthat.  Hell, getting all wet and sticky over some inane idea of WASPy patrician manners is probably the second least-weird thing about that little creep.  Douthat is a fairly typical upper-class, rock-ribbed reactionary failson who owes everything he has to his family and their connections and nothing to any intelligence, talent, or skill.  So, the Bill Buckley naked on a boat thing is pretty much typical for those nasty fuckers.

Your Dad's Band Could Be Your Life: History Lesson Part 2B

Duh! Who Didn't Know Hillary Clinton Was The Whore Of Babylon?

But who was the whore of Babylon 5? G'Kar?  We may never know the answer to these important questions, but tune in next time for another exciting episode of Bullshit, or Not?

That Dead Bastard George H.W. Bush Was A Fucking War Criminal, And Don't Forget Clarence Uncle Thomas

Bush was a vile monster who started the Gulf War and gave us Clarence "Uncle" Thomas on the SCOTUS.  And that's just the beginning.  The hagiography has been grotesque indeed.  Who can forget Willie Horton.  CIA death squads.  James Baker.  Iran-Contra.  His retard kid.  The other fucking scumbag Jeb.  Neil, Marvin, and the Silverado Savings and Loan.  That vile harpy Quaker Oats bitch he was married to.  Bush was every bit as hateful and racist a conservative fucktard as Reagan or Trump or any of those bastards.  They're all horrible reactionary, war-mongering assholes.

George H.W. Bush should have met his end at the end of a rope in The Hague. 

Michael Flynn Was A VERY Cooperative Boy For Robert Mueller

Michael Flynn: Stool pigeon.  I guess "General" Flynn was too big of a pussy to do the time so he snitched like a bitch to Big Bob Mueller.  Trump hires only the best people, only the most disloyal stoolies and greasy rats he can find.  Heh, indeedy.  Sad.  Thanks, Trump!

Those QAnon Dumbfucks Have Had A Very Bad 5 Dec.

Nothing.  Nobody got arrested.  No Trump vanquishing his enemies.  No jesus.  Nada.  Zip.  Zilch.  I think it's possible this QAnon thing is bullshit.  Sad.  Thanks, Q!

Political Song for Donald Trump to Sing

Heartfelt Tribute To Paul Sherwen With Absolutely No Talk Of Motorola/US Postal And Lance Armstrong

Weird, that.  Phil and Paul were at ground zero of the whole Armstrong scheme with all the fine feathered folks on the Motorola and US Postal teams, and yet, it's somehow like the absolute devotion of the voices of bike racing in America had nothing to do with perpetuating the big lie that Team Armstrong was selling to the world.  Very weird, that.

Bill Kristol And The Weekly Standard Are Very Sick Of All The Winning

Too much fucking winning for Bill Kristol and his dumb vanity press reactionary fishwrap.  How can a fatuous conservative legacy kid not be able to make it in this cruel world of racists and Nazis and other disgusting conservative assholes.  Sad.  Thanks, Trump!

That Baby Song

Decent Long-Form Gossip Kids Politics Club On The Hateful Racist Rightwing History Of North Carolina

And the South in general.  North Carolina and the white people there--and amazingly enough even Florida 30 years ago--seemed almost ready to crawl up from the filth of the Confederacy and begin to comport themselves like a civilized society because of education and technology and improvement in general, but the fear and racism and christian insanity was too strong a pull, and the whites remained too ignorant and easy to manipulate at the hands of the GOP.   Now, the entire region is so far gone into a racist teabagging hell hole after the Obama years that it will be another century before they might be redeemed.  That seems like an awful lot of trouble for the rest of us, so instead we should be looking for our very own modern General William Tecumseh Sherman to be the hero America truly needs in order to rid ourselves of the problem once and for all.  And 150 years too late.

Nobody Ask This Idiot Where Lots Of Electrical Generation Comes From

Jesus, people are fucking dumb.  Depending on where you live, your electric car might be the stupidest idea ever.  Until we eliminate commercial fission generation and transition to the cleanest and most efficient and renewable sources, well, fuck you.

I Would Not Want To Live In This Little Apartment After These Two Were Done With It

Spork

I Thought Mexico Was Payin' For Trump's Wall?

What happened to the art of that deal? Mexico ain't payin'?  Trump was wrong?  He was talking out his ass?  He was fucking flat-out lying?  Sad.  Spoiler alert: They will never be any wall.  Racist teabaggers are the dumbest motherfuckers on the planet.  Thanks, Trump!

Reminder: Vacuous Dolt Sady Doyle

Humanity will never rid itself of dead weight like Sady Doyle.  We'd have colonized the universe 10,000 years ago if we didn't have helpless idiots like her holding us back.  Sad.  Thanks, Hillary.

Don't Tell The Gossip Kids About The Dem Leadership On The Hill

Shocker!  What should be the story, though, is that Schumer is easily a few billion orders of magnitude worse than Nancy Pelosi.  Just sayin'.

You Did Not Need Reminding That The Boston Red Sox Suck Harder Than Anything Ever

Butchu got it.  The entire Red Sox organization is the worst expression of human existence in the history of life on this planet.  Sad.

The 90s Are Seething On Line 2

Oh, Gods The Fucking Twits Are Reactionary Scum

That joosttx shtibrain and the pussy William and the other right-wing fucktards are really fucking gross.  A few of the decent fellows shit on the disgusting gobbling of dead Bush's knob, but overall the twits are reactionary dimwits who are also disgusting human beings.  Fuck them.  Fuck them in the eye holes.  Rich white people are beyond useless.  Serotta Forum twits are too stupid to live.

Donald Trump Jr. Life Goals

Sam Seder's War On Christmas Was Probably The High Point Of CNN

Breaking: Nobody Ever Remind Olivia Nuzzi That George Bush And John McCain And All Republicans And Conservatives Are Vile Hateful Racist Cocksuckers

Don't say bad things about hateful reactionary villains.  That's not cool.  Be cool.  Be nice to revanchist demagogues and liars.  Always.

Only Murderous Zionist Scum (And CNN) Are Dumb Enough To Say Criticism Of Terroist Apartheid State Isreal Is Anti-Semitism

Temple grad, shameless self-promoter, and former Fox "News" "Democrat" Marc Lamont Hill accidentally said a true thing about terror-state Israel.  Oops.  Now the teabagging zionist shitheads are trying get him more fired, and the endowed chair at Temple for some guys who are on the TV is all that's keeping him from being fired again.  The guy's right about Palestine, though. 

Imagine how fucking apoplectic Temple and Pat O'Connor would be if their favorite son/best buddy Bill Cosby had said this...

Themey: I Know He's Still Dead And All, But Jeez SEK Was A Dunce

Purposely ignoring the actual criticism to complain someone is being mean and sweary, then being a patronizing asswipe until the actual criticism gets re-explained with smaller words and shorter sentences, and then running away is a wicked weak move, but, you know, welfare academia and all, where academic and intellectual rigor make hot monkey sects with Dunning and Kruger.  Was reminded of this many years ago, and well, fuck him.  Dick.  That's too harsh, I know, and the guy didn't deserve to die over it or anything.  I'm sure he was very nice.  But somehow Scott Eric Kaufman was a great guy and that tedious idiot Freddie deBoer is a fucking philistine. 

Mike McCarthy, Heh Indeedy

Where in Buffalo or Los Angeles will he be coaching next season?  There are only like 20 guys who can be head coaches, so Mike McCarthy has to go somewhere!  Who knew that CTE was contagious.

Thematic: Paul Sherwen Dead At 62

Paul Sherwen has died.  For the USA folks for whom all bike racing was the Tour on TV, Paul Sherwen and Phil Ligget were the only voices they ever heard.  First reported this afternoon in the USA.

Limey Cocksucker Or Corn Cob? Why Not Both

Better off as a parody: Jaspar Carmichael-Jack.  This creepy fucktard is here to prove to you that just because you're an inbred Brit, you can always be a reactionary stooge as well.  Brilliant!

Near-Vana

Hey, That Horrible Bastard George HW Bush Is Dead

See you in hell, Buckaroo Banzai.  George "The Real President" Bush was a vile war criminal, all around disgusting conservative fuckface, and father of the year every fucking year.  As Republicans go, Bush was as big a loathsome and hateful creep as any of them, and the world is better off with him dead, but as usual, it was about a hundred years too late.

If You Didn't Know TM Landry School Was A Scam From The Start, Kill Yourself

Shocked! Shocked, I say!  How could a school that had no teachers, no classes, no books, and a bullshit racial and racist narrative completely created out of whole cloth to appeal to the prejudiced sensibilities of clueless upper-class white dolts be a scam?  HOW!?  So, anyway, stunt, token admissions to Ivies are always bullshit, and T.M. Landry cornered the market on that shit.  Elite schools are all bullshit, whether you're talking high school or college, and only truly elite in their wealth, while the admissions process is a dumb game.  Well, T.M. Landry school played that dumb game dumber than most.  They boiled the entire process down to a YouTube video, which is kinda funny, but they did by being a horrible racist fucking minstrel show staged for the admissions committees at elite colleges, and that's fucking disgraceful. 

Pathetic GOP Morons Don't Know That Melania Trump Was A Washed-Up Porn Model And Literal Whore

That Malaria is sure classy lookin' tho.  She's not at all a shovel-faced ex-whore with a face full of incompetent strip-mall plastic surgery.  Not. At. All.

Sad.

Thanks, Trump!

Tonight There's Gonna Be

African American Voters Did Their Job In Mississippi Tuesday

AA voters turned out for the runoff.  If the Dems want to win, they need to get their voters, AA and all the others, to turn out every single election in every state.  No one and done anymore; the top priority for the Dems should be--and should have always been--AA and minority turnout.  If, IF, the Dems want to win, that's the first step.

A Curse

Choate Is Probably Pretty Fucking Psyched That St. Paul's Favorite Son Owen Labrie Is Back In Court

It's not Chuck Timlin or Bjorn Runquist this time, so nice job Choate!  Choate would probably love for Owen Labrie to be in court every fucking week for the next century.  Or one of those creepy Deerfield molesters have an unpublished manuscript discovered or Loomis Chaffee or Lawrenceville or something.  Anything to put Andover in the papers for sex crimes would be welcome, too.  Thanks, Ivanka Trump!

Know 1

What's Good For GM Was Only Ever Good For GM, If That

The story of Poletown and a 40 year story of insanity.  The key takeaway probably is the fact that the Detroit-Hamtramck plant never paid off the way it was promised by GM.  Even the robots didn't work after GM failed to employ anywhere near the number of people that said they would.  This was a fuck up piled upon a fuck up on top of a clusterfuck.  Plus, it's Roger Smith from the flick that made Michael Moore a multi-millionaire who was the prime mover of this disaster.  40 years of futility, and it will all probably lead to a shuttered plant next year.  Genius!  Thanks, Trump!

Pink Red Elephant

Cindy Hyde-Smith Is A Very Stable Genius

The Jackson Free Press is on the scene to document the atrocities.  Cindy Hyde-Smith is a demented, racist imbecile.  It's hard to believe she was the best the GOP in Mississippi could come up with when they needed to appoint a Senator.  But everyone in the GOP is a deranged, reactionary, revanchist, racist fucktard, no matter how well they might attempt to hide that fact.  Trump has exposed the GOP once and for all as the sick fucking shitheads they have always been.  Thanks, Trump!

Gillibrand Got Played

Kirsten Gillibrand showed what an airhead she was over the Al Franken thing.  Now that she's getting shit on, she deserves all of it.  Franken was a fool and a coward as it turns out, but the Dem leadership was happy to weaken his popularity over the completely made-up bullshit Roger Stone was peddling.  It was only Gillibrand who was willing to walk so far out on that limb of addle-headed righteous indignation and GOP ratfucking, so now she gets to suffer and watch all her chances for advancement die on the vine while the vile Chuckles Schumer and the rest of the neoliberal Dem leadership team reap the benefits of not having Al Franken or even Kirsten Gillibrand getting in the way.  Thanks, Trump!

Fascist Tee Vee

Is It Possible That Even Trump Can See What An Unctuous Moron Sean Hannity Is?

Trump's too fucking brain dead to wipe his own ass, but he somehow sees that Sean Hannity is a fatuous fuckface.  That's kinda incredible.  And kinda sad for Hannity.  Poor Sean is exactly like Bill O'Reilly except without the Indochinese ladyboys and keester falafels.  Or is he...?

When Will Trump Tell Us The Truth About The Directed Energy Weapons Used To Start The California Fires?

Only Donald Trump will have the chance to stand up to the globalist reptilians using DEWs against civilian targets in California.  How long until those giant lasers are used against the rest of us?  George Soros and Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama are behind this as well.  Save us Trump!

There's No Bigger Beta Cuck Loser On Earth Than Donald Trump

Trump is a yuge pussy, so fucking scared of Robert Mueller.  Cadet Bonespurs likes to pretend he's some sorta tough guy, but inside Donald Trump is frail and sad little man, scared of his own shadow.  If Mueller has any sense at all, he will roast Trump alive over all this criminal shit and humiliate him in public for our amusement. 

Holy Shit, Cindy Hyde-Smith Is A Fucking Horrible Racist

Sure, she went to the racist high school!  MAGA!  Sure, she sent her kid to a racist high school!!  MAGA!!  Sure, Cindy Hyde-Smith is a creepy fucking racist shitbag bitch from fucking Mississippi.  Sure, she's running against a black guy.  Of course Trump is down there.  You bet Cindy Hyde-Smith is a complete idiot and empty-headed racist asswipe.  This is fucking Mississippi.  The only thing we should be doing for Mississippi is the exact thing General Sherman did to Georgia a while back.  The only thing!  Thanks, Trump!

No Other Evil Demented Motherfucker Ever Got More Of What He Deserved Than John Allen Chau

Let him rot.  And leave those people alone.  John Allen Chau, deranged cocksucker who went to Anal Roberts University, received exactly what every loathsome christian missionary deserves.  Let that sick bastard rot in that shallow grave and leave the natives in peace.

Bill Galston Is America's Top Fatuous Corn Cob

That poor dumb bastard Galston shoulda kept his yap shut.  Bill Galston is another of the unending cadre of hopeless D.C. neoliberal buffoons completely beholden to their oligarchical masters.  It's absolutely time to flush these rock-ribbed conservative fuckfaces into the cesspool of history. 

The Twits Almost Figure Out Speedvagen

Again.  (But not quite, alas.)

First off, that bike is heinous.  Nobody asked me, and everyone should be happy with their bike as much as possible, and some people like the twits need to be taxed more, but jesus frakking chris christie at the pizza buffet, that thing is an (atrociously overpriced) abortion.  Anywho.

Speedvagen in general is a grift to separate twits from their money.  Sacha White did make bikes once, but now he's a marketing/cartoon character who devises insidious ways of making bikes cost two or three or four times what they should.  Custom, proprietary, but ultimately functionally useless, bits and shapes?  Yep?  Outright dumb design choices so the proles know you bought a Speedvagen?  Sure.  Kewl-Kid cult of personality marketing--very expensive, btw?  Check.  Quick n' dirty contract construction?  You betcha.  Insane bespoke times three pricing?  Oh, yeah!  But people want what they want, even if you can get much better, cooler stuff from Rock Lobster or Carl Strong or a dozen other actual bike folks for way less than a Speedvagen poser douchebro special.  The differences between Sacha White/Vanilla/Speedvagen and a, say, Richard Sachs is that Sr. E-Ritchey-sic was a racer and builder and racer and genuine character working his tools before he was an interwebs marketing cartoon character, whereas White kinda went from being some doof taking the framebuilding class to being a marketing guru in just a few short years, skipping all the stuff upon which actual legends are built.  Isn't America wonderful!

U Got Japanimation

Ira Kaplan And Bob Odenkirk

Bob Odenkirk interviews Ira Kaplan of Yo La Tengo.  Cool.

More Fun Information On The World's Coolest Islanders, The Sentinelese

Good stuff.  These folks have been hanging on for around 60,000 years, apparently.  Signal-boosting by Sr. General.

Today's Empty-Headed, Creepy Uncle Tom For The Fox Generation Is The Amazingly Stupid Lucas, And Not Thomas Sowell

This poor dumb bastard is too pathetic to even laugh at.  Almost.  This sad and frail little man is the perfect embodiment of everything wrong with conservatives--and there's nothing more gross than a black conservative.  Those people are the fucking worst.  Thanks, Trump!

Hoosker Did

This Vile Christian Fundamentalist Lunatic John Allen Chau Story Is The Best News You Will Ever Get In Your Life

Killed!  This is the best thing ever.  If only every native population had been smart enough to kill the christians who came to fuck up their societies.  The story of Chau being killed on the beach by natives who didn't want to hear his insane christian mythology bullshit is easily the best story in the history of mankind.  I guess Alabama is short one horrible fucking asshole.  Thanks, Trump!

John Stossel Will Always Be A Blithering Libertarian Asswipe

Discount Geraldo Rivera would be a compliment at this point.  Stossel will never not be the dumbest motherfucker in the room, any room, an empty-headed Randian dolt, ceaselessly bleating objectivist twaddle.  Utter fucktards like Stossel have been retarding human progress for as long as there have been complete fucking idiots.  Thanks, Trump!

Chorus Of Factory Girls

When They Burn Everything To The Ground, Remember, You Deserved It

We all did. We lived like fucking animals and deserved to watch all we knew destroyed.  This story about scumbag loan sharks and the courts and governments who enable them is only one of the innumerable ways that our society is fucked beyond redemption.  Eventually all of the injustice and suffering will become a glorious fire, and finally that suffering will be shared by all when families and futures and safety and hope are destroyed because we deserve it.  This is us.  We are criminals and thieves and monsters and we deserve our fate.  Humanity is diseased.  There is no cure.  Only pain and fear and tremendous beautiful fire to cleanse the universe.

Jeebus Christy Poser

Finally, Loser Mia Love Loses In Utah

Mia Love lost. Finally.  She was one of the worst Republicans, a brainless, tedious token.  Now she's out and that's another one for the Dems.  Thanks, Trump!

The GOP Is Dead In California--All It Took Was Trump To Finally Bury It

Thanks, Trump!  California had long ago parted ways with the racism and other vulgar insanity of the conservative bowel movement, but politically, the GOP had been able to limp along until Trump came along and pushed the entire party into ditch to die finally.  That's something beautiful and amazing, and it's happening elsewhere around America as well.  These are bad times for the Republican Party, but great times for the rest of us as we watch them bleed out for our entertainment. 

Really, The Twits Are Miserable Fucks

All the white privilege in the world, yet dumb as fucking rocks.  How can the American upper classes be so worthless.  The Serotta Forum twits are nasty and stupid, with the few capable brains in attendance lost in a melee of fucking braying imbeciles.  And as always, no matter the time or topic, Bruce K is a dick.

Falling Sky

It's Not Easy Being A Screaming, Bugfuck Insane Baggatron Cocksucker In 2018

Just finding Trump's dick is hard enough, but trying to suck that gross little fungus is so hard for Bill Mitchell these days.  That poor dumb fucker was so sure that the GOP shitbirds were going to win because Trump told him so.  Imagine being dumber than Donald Trump.  Sad!

Watt Comes Alive

Mike Watt Is Where You Find Him

Even with the sporty gossip kids.  James Worthy and Mike Watt playin' bass guitars.

Young Kim Was So Fucking Sick Of All The Motherfucking Winning

Another winner with Trump!  Trump was right about one thing: we are not sick of so much winning.  All that winning.  Beautiful winning.  Winning bigly.  When the GOP loses, we all win!  Thanks, Trump.

Every Breathe

Tenneco Prepares To Work The Same Magic On Ohlins As It Did On Marzocchi

Can't miss!  Tenneco knows mountain bike suspension, just ask Marzocchi.  Now Ohlins is getting ready for the genius that is Tenneco ownership.  Fucking brilliant.  Thanks, Specialized!

Queue An On

Convicted Felon Bernie Kerik Is America's Corn Cob

Remember this creepy fuckstick Bernie Kerik?  Remember all the felony convictions?  Rudy Giuliani?  Well, Bernie Kerick is now America's corn cob.  What a great day!  Thanks, Trump.

Eric Heiden's Ritchey Bike Is There

Pretty cool.  Northern California "farmers" with camo bikes, too.  Heh.

Advice For The GOP

Mimi Walters Was Too Sick Of All The Winning

So she lost.  Fucking brilliant!  So. Much. Winning.  For the dems.  Thanks, Trump!

How The Hell Are There 104 Performance Bike Retail Stores?

Soon to be significantly fewer, but still.  The Performance retail stores seemingly are uniformly generic and useless.  Who the fuck goes to a Performance store unless they have to, and when 40+ of those things close, how many places will be left with no bike shops at all?  Fucking awful.  A bazillion years ago, Performance had great inexpensive cycling shorts made in the USA, but fucked with real shops on frame and component pricing, so now if you are lucky enough to live in an area with no Performance bike stores, be happy you have real shops to patronize. 

Life In The Valley

Sonic Youth Tee Vee

Back In 4th

Husker Didn't, At Least Not As Long As Maybe They Could Have

Warehouse was a good record.  I wonder if even five years later Husker Du would not have stayed together the way Sonic Youth did in order to finance a pretty fancy lifestyle.  Money cures a lot of ills and soothes much rancor and buys plenty of rehab.  The post-Nevermind world was a fertile one for some folks.  The Huskers were just a little too early, I guess. 

Matt McCauley Is What An Old, Unwanted, Used-Up, Impotent Beta Cuck Incel Loser Looks Like

HE ROUTINELY "DATES" 20 YEAR OLDS!  In English, that means that 10-15 years ago when his little tiny dick still sorta worked, Matt McCauley would spend his weekends trying to find a prostitute willing to take the small amount of money he could afford for 19 seconds of the most disgusting, most pathetic attempt at sex in the history of the galaxy.  Matt McCauley is a hero of the incels!  Thanks, Trump.

Neverlong

Now It's Time To Watch A Racist Neoliberal Hillbot Turn Into A Corn Cob

"But I'm not a racist...I'm not, I'm not, I'm not..."  This fucking idiot (or Hillbot) is exactly the kind of right-wing racist neoliberal stooge who delivered Trump to the White House.  AOC will first need to bring them to heel.  Thanks, Obama!

Brutal, Vintage Fisking Of Kyrsten Sinema

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Do The Twits Even Ride Their Bikes?

Do they have bikes?  This is fucking stupid as hell: what the OP describes would be understood by any 8 year old who rides a bike to be a flat (or underinflated) tire!  What the actual fuck?  He got freaked out by his too-soft tire and lowered the air pressure?  Really?  Jesus.  How can you not know this shit?  It's fucking simple!  It's basic.  Literally kids' stuff!  It then requires page after page of discussion from fatuous cockbags bleating nonsense?  Gods Dammit, twits are fucking useless.  Thanks, Trump!

Legs For The Troops

Yes, Beto And Abrams And Gillum Did Have Coattails

It sucks bigtime that Beto and Abrams and Gillum all didn't win last week and utterly humiliate the GOP, but all three ran excellent campaigns against long odds and the most blatant Republican voter suppression and other criminal malfeasance.  In doing so, they brought many Dems across the line to victory in Texas and Georgia and Florida who would not have won without the energy, money, and publicity at the top of the ticket.  This was good shit, no matter how pissed anyone is that Beto couldn't fucking win or that Brian Kemp is a fucking criminal or that Florida is filled with the worst racist assholes you can find.  Thanks, Trump!

Big Beautiful Patriotic Fisking Of The Vile Meghan McCain

Let's Get Together For Some Mississippi Justice With Our Friend Cindy Hyde-Smith

She seems nice.  Nothing better than a wrinkly old washerwoman calling herself Cindy.  There's like only a hundred Senators in this fucking country, and they couldn't appoint anybody better than this fucking moron?  Brilliant!  Thanks, Trump!

BRUCE K IS A DICK!!!!

What a fucking dick.  Jock-sniffing twits are the fucking worst.

Update: Bruce K is a total fucking dick.

Again And Again And Again And Again

By The Way, Kyrsten Sinema Has Won

32,000 votes is too much now for any hope the bad guys might have had. Another flip for the Dems.  Such as it.  Better than nothing, but not better than the old Kyrsten Sinema.

Tucker Carlson Is A Yuge Fucking Pussy--And A Big Fat Liar

Your "no shit" moment of the day: Tucker Carlson is a fucking liar.  What a sad little snowflake poor Tucker is.  Maybe a Swanson TV dinner will perk him up.  Salisbury steak!  Thanks, Trump!

Every Year

Pro Tip: All These 'Dangerous Thinkers' Turn Out To Be Hard-Right Conservatives And Establishment Racists And/Or Dimwit Grifters Like Claire Lehmann

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

What's More Horrible Than SNL And The Gossip Kids?

The GOP? MAAGGGAAAA!  Republicans are truly evil, racist monsters, and that scumbag Dan Crenshaw is as bad a Republican cyclops as there's ever been, while the pathetic dimwits on Saturday Night Live and the shallow, simpering gossip kids merely slobber giant greasy moose cock.

The Serotta Forum Will Always Be Truly Awful At Its Core

In the end, always vile, hateful, racist, violent America will be the heart of the overprivileged twits on the Serotta Forum.  The upper-classes in the United States are the problem in the world.  And they always have been.  Bruce K is a dick.

Your New Governor Of California On The Floor With Donald Trump Jr.'s Girlfriend

Interesting times.  Or once a whore, always a whore.

Cheesehead

As Scott Walker Gets Flushed Into The Cesspool Of History, Let's Not Forget The Lunatic Christian Fundie Asswipe He Had For His Lieutenant Governor, Rebecca Kleefisch

Rebecca Kleefisch is as big a battatron cocksucker as Scott Walker himself.  Kleefisch was universally derided not only because she was an absurd pack-fodder beauty contest failure and then a risible local TV news bubblehead but also because she was a complete Republican shitbag and Christian conservative idiot in every sense.  She seems nice.  Thanks, Trump!

Me Takers Not Me Makers Too

Rancid Teabagging Fuckface Steve Stockman Is Really Fucking Sick Of All That Winning

10 years in federal prison! MAAGGGAAAA!  Truly, nothing has ever made American better than Steve Stockman going to fucking prison.  That loathsome teabagging cretin was one of the most disgusting Republicans ever, and easily as awful as Reagan or Nixon or Bush or Cheney or Ryan or DeLay or Cruz or Trump.  So. Much. Fucking. Winning.  Thanks, Trump!

Laura Ingraham, Right Wing Whore, Is Brutally Dragged Through A Drive-By Fisking

Laura's not pretty, but at least she's nasty and dumb!  Poor old Laura Ingraham is quite perturbed by the counting of the votes and the losing of Martha McSally.  It's a joke, apparently.  In fact, it is funny.  Really funny.  Kyrsten Sinema's victory is nothing to crow about, but Martha McSally losing is fucking brilliant!  So. Much. Motherfucking. Winning.  Not sick of it at all!  Thanks, Trump!

Hey, Remember That Neoliberal Stooge And Sexual Abuser Al Giordano?

Well, don't forget how shitty he is.  He sucks major ass.  He's a fucking creep, too.  And a disgusting abusive bastard.  And a right-wing tool.

And Bernie would have won.

Your Not-At-All-Liberal Media Are Dumb As Rocks

Weak centrist "hot" takes always wind up being conservative and inane.  I'm not really sure who Amy Walter is, but on tee vee and on the internets she plays the roll of Rachel Maddow's dimwit half-sister--and that's fucking awful.  Nothing about the media in general or the Cook Report in particular are liberal in any way.

'Centrist' Democrats Are Really Rock-Ribbed Conservative Neoliberals

Third Way Democrats like Jim Kessler and Lanae Erikson are political allies of Donald Trump and the GOP.  Bernie Sanders is in reality the most centrist politician in the United States.  His positions on health care, labor, wages, poverty, taxes, Social Security, and higher education are all unanimously popular with a huge majority of all Americans.  That's how you define center, not what some right-wing neoliberal think tank cocksuckers from the Third Way espouse.  Those fuckers are not the center of anything except exceptional American bowel movement conservatism.  Right-wing neoliberal Democrats will fight to the death to destroy the true centrist ideas in this nation, and vile right-wing Republican whores like Jennifer Rubin and the Washtington Post will do the propaganda for them.  The neoliberal Dems and the GOP are the same party, and they always have been; they are loathsome racist reactionary hard-right scum.  Skull fuck them all, now and forevah, amen.

Caravaning

Dino Rossi Is A Giant Piece Of Shit Who Was So Sick Of All That Winning

So he lost.  Dino Rossi is a special kind of loser, and he lost to Kim Schrier in Washington 8th.  Rossi has lost just about everything now, so I guess it's time to primary Trump in 2020.  Thanks, Trump!

Fuckity Bye To That Vile Cunt Karen Handel In Georgia 6th

Yippee ki-yay, motherfucker.  That disgusting bitch and former Susan G. Komen Foundation asswipe Karen Handel is finally the fuck out of the fucking Congress, so that's a good day for everyone.  Tom Price and Newt Gingrich can both eat a bag of dicks because their district belongs to the Dems now.  Thanks, Trump!

The Serotta Forum Twits Push Back On Guns! Really!

Jesus fasterbackwards fucking christ.  A few of the Serotta forum folks like the always wonderful FlashUNC and a Big Dan and some Waldo guy get fucking tough on the guntards like that resident "tough guy" but in reality huge pussy William.  Like that shit, so, keep it up and de-twit the twits.

Beautiful Brave Patriotic Marine And Exceptional American Shoots Country Line Dancers For Freedom! MAGA!

Thank the gods we have so many Americans who love freedom and the Constitution and hate country line dancing!  Jesus christ has blessed America with another shooting, another slaughter, and more delicious beautiful blood.  This is the best of us.  Gavin Newsom said that we can't let this exceptional expression of American freedom be normalized, but he's a fool.  Mass murder is the most normal, most exceptionally American thing in the world.  Guns are the gods' blessing for white people.  Without guns and without white racist mass murderers, America would not be free!  Make a run to the borderline with a gun!  MAGA!  Thanks, Trump.