Up & Ups

Decent Kristof Fisking

Fish, barrel, obvs, but still decent slagging, even from those guys.  Kristof is another Judith Miller, another Friedman, another dim-bulb asshole at the New York Times.  It's not an accident that the Times generates these fools and gleefully gives them the gleam of credibility at the expense of the paper as whole.  That's a feature, kids, not a bug.

Obama Fumbles Shinseki

(Yes, duh...No shit.)  Obama has been shit on most major issues, but this Shinseki thing is still a inexcusable fuck-up on his part.  Shinseki didn't cause the VA problems, and the Republicans are absolutely 100% not fucking interested in helping veterans or anyone else except themselves.  The attacks on Shinseki were mostly due to Shinseki's belittling of the Bush and Cheney and Rumsfeld over their incompetence, and Obama allowed them to get their scalp at last.  That's shitty politics, and a reason why the establishment Democratic pussies are not fit to win or govern.  If Shinseki felt it was right to resign, Obama should have allowed him to submit his resignation but refuse to accept it until the problems were rectified.  That's how winners play, but Obama doesn't have the stones for that shit.

Under Cook

Lu.  Saz.  Shriekback.

Christopher Michaels-Martinez Should Not Have Needed To Die

So that America could find someone to take on the pussies at the NRA.  Richard Martinez has been a fucking monster, calling out the NRA and the Republican guntards because his kid is dead.  Martinez may really do some good if he can be the public face of the assault on guntard insanity, but a dead son is far to big a price to pay.  The rest of us, the ones with sons and daughters and brothers and sisters and mothers and fathers who weren't shot to death this week, have a pretty clear choice: join the fight or let the evil, violent, guntard assholes win.

Idiot History Lesson Part Deux

Jesus.  There's no reason Exene shouldn't be an addle-headed whackjob, but it is still kinda sad.  Course, the real history lesson is more clear...

Under Fishing

Let's Face It, Jerry Remy's Wife Is The Worst Mother Ever

You can't blame the Rem Dawg for this kid cuz he was never there.  Jerry Remy was always gone, playing baseball, covering baseball--and when he was home, he was always hiding in his den cuz he's nuts--while trusting his wife to raise the kids.  She did a pretty terrible job.  Jerry was out making the money, traveling around the country, and all the wife had to do was keep the kids from murdering people.  Nice job.  Baseball's tough.  Kids are a fuckin' breeze.  Everybody has kids.  Plenty of those kids don't get caught killing people.  But most people can't hit major league pitching; the Rem Dawg had that part covered, sorta.  Now the kid's gone and made Jerry look bad, and he's getting fisked up one side and down the other.  I guess Jerry can blame the wife for that, too.

No Tie For You

Jonathan Alter Turbo-Fisking

Alter is getting pummeled on the interwebs today after he came out in support of silly old Michael Kinsley against mean, not-so-old Glenn Greenwald.  Alter is one of those MSNBC weak-sauce establishment uber-douches.  Of course, Alter would be right there along side his buddy Kinsley, standing proudly against journalism, freedom of the press, mom, apple pie, and Chevy and shit.  I mean, of course.

It's Still About The Guns And The Guntards

Shooting schmooting.  It's pretty much an everyday occurrence in the USA--or it could be without anyone noticing.  This fucking loon had to scream about how he was an unlovable, impotent loser to get the attention that the killing alone would not have.  He was a fucking pussy guntard--like they all are--and he had the guns.  If we want to stop this, we know 100% how to do it.  We won't though.  Fucking whackjob guntards will continue to get their guns, just like they did after Newtown, CT.  America...

But Oh The Imagined Glory Of The Sox NESN Post-Game Show

I'm not in a place where I can properly enjoy it, but I can imagine that the Red Sox post-game show on NESN has been the finest tee vee ever for the past week or so.  If Eck and Rice have been there, then the fans have been wallowing in the shallowest, most-incoherent bitching in the history of the galaxy.  Maybe that fool Wakefield has been there too to take up space lookin' stupid.  Oh, if I were blessed, I would have been there to witness the glory.

The Ongoing Shame Of MSNBC

MSNBC is pretty sucky; their immense suckitude is not that they are weak establishment losers.  The problem is that they are not even a news network.  I'm pretty sure they spent the whole day today showing those vile prison porn videos instead of you know, the news and shit.  Just cuz it is a day off for lots of folks doesn't mean the world stops.  MSNBC is at best a part-time circle jerk.

Let's Not Hate Macklemore For Clumsy Racism

All decent people should hate Macklemore for the horrid music, the palest, soggiest "rap" out there.  Macklemore's racist buffoonery is merely the sprinkles on the giant, fetid shit sundae he thinks is "music". 

Slack Generation

Nancy Pelosi Screws The Pooch On The Benghazi Committee

A cock-up all around, and it's mostly Pelosi's fault.  The first, best course would have been to boycott the whole clown car crackup and refuse to seat any Dems at all.  That would have given all the sane witnesses reason to just fuck around and not worry about the anything.  The second best idea would have been to appoint one and only one Democrat to the committee, Alan Grayson.  Grayson would have had hella fun making brain-damaged circus geek Trey Gowdy cry, and America would have been the better for it.  The worst possible outcome, short of what she actually managed to do, of course, would have been to put Grayson on with a full compliment of the same lame-ass Dems we got.  It is almost impossible to believe she sucked as hard as she did on this one: useless Dems and no Grayson at all.

Not Only Cowardice, Allen West Also Redefines Batshit Crazy

Sure, West was an admitted criminal but too cowardly to face justice, but he's also really fucking nuts.  West doesn't know how to wipe his own ass, so there's no way he knows anything about Benghazi or astronomy or simple math or anything else.  At this point, West is at most the front of a fifth-rate scheme to fleece the biggest fucktards in America out of their meager incomes.  If justice or jesus or decency were real, well, those poor dumb bastards would be protected from scum like West and his backers.

Gregg Jarrett's Awesome Junkie Galen Tyrol Cosplay

Frakking brilliant!  Gregg Jarrett IS strung-out Chief Tyrol!

Wait, Was That Super Gay(er) Oliver North On 'The Americans'?

Surely, it was.  The Americans got some press by hiring traitor and coward--and obvious flaming closet case, according to the show--Oliver North as a consultant about Regan's treason and war crimes, but did they punk him by making the Ollie North fellow in the actual show an unhinged, murderous, traitorous, super-patriot, cock-mongering idiot?  It sure looks like it, especially with the actor, Lee Tergesen, playing it very broadly.  If this character was not a huge 'Fuck You!' to North, then I'm a fucking teabagger.

'Everything Wrong With Snow White And The Huntsman' Is WAY Better Than 'Snow White And The Huntsman'

Snow White and the Huntsman was both a frakking mess AND an awful flick, but the EWW is one of the best; big, bland, bad, dumb movies seem to be the best targets for this shit.  Psneudity.  Now that's funny.

All-American Upper Class Twit Problems

Teh stoopid! It burns!!  And teh ignorance.  Teh ignorance mixes with teh stupid on the Serotta forum to create some of the most vile filth on the internets.  Since the median household income in the United States--not on the Serotta forum of course--is $51,000, retiring with ANY savings is not something too many millions of Americans need to fret about.  The pampered fucktards on the Serotta forum can't understand that.  Disgusting upper class buffoonery at its worst.

And more.  Leaving an inheritance for the kids?  Most Americans don't need to worry about that either.  If you make it to the fucking sweet release of death with any assets at all, then that makes you really lucky, but the nasty cocksuckers on the Serotta forum don't know shit about that either.

It's The Same Old Saab Story

As in 'Duh'.  Or perhaps 'No shit'.  Yes, making cars is incredibly expensive and way more difficult than it looks.  Saab is not coming to your driveway or your country, but used ones are really cheap now, so that's something.

Also Not Coming To Your Garage: Saab Submarine

Diesel-electric submarines from Sweden or India or South Africa serve what purpose exactly?  Jobs programs?  Okay.  Legitimate defence against the American navy?  Yeah, right.  I guess it is all about governmental legitimacy, nationalism, and economics, but what if it was something way more useful than fucking submarines? 

Obama Bags D'Souza! Are You Next?

Bwahhahhahhahhahhah!  Guilty!  D'Souza is now officially a felon--on top of everything else; being a felon is probably the least of D'Souza's sins, but what the fuck, we'll take it.  This will be a fun coupla days with the teatards and Fox "News" true-believers, but they're nothing if not masters of ignoring reality, so by the weekend they will have forgotten poor ole Dinesh completely. 

Cecily McMillan: 90 Days Is 90 Days Too Many

The fear was that the asshole judge would sentence McMillan to the full 7 years, but 90 days is still an outrage.  The cop, of course, is free to do whatever bullshit he wants.  When the best you can hope for is bail and a successful appeal, you're fucked.

Those Years Ago

Your New National Anthem

Or Is JJ Abrams Maybe Not As Huge A Frakking Dipshit As The Manifest Weight Of The Evidence Suggests?

Abrams sucks huge moose cock, and everyone with at least 3 functioning brain cells understands that, but, against the longest odds, he may have found an even bigger fucking loser to continue the pathetic destruction of the Star Trek franchise.  Besides being an untalented hack, Orci is also a giant fucking nutjob.  Abrams' movies are completely awful, but with Orci at the helm, the next ST flick is certainly guaranteed to be one of the worst films of all time.

Is George Lucas The Greatest Genius In Human History?

Lucas had a half-decent idea and made a fun flick back in the day and then spent the rest of his career shitting all over his reputation, but has he found the sure-fire way to revise his history in J.J. Abrams?  Abrams is a fucking moron and an awful filmmaker--he almost certainly sucks hard enough to make George Lucas look not quite so bloody terrible.  Lucas likes money, and if he managed to arrange for someone to give him a huge pile of money and engineer the partial rehabilitation of his legacy, well, he's a frakking rock star.

Signal Boosting Cecily McMillan

CounterPunch here, as seen on McMillan's website.  McMillan is clearly some sort of superhero; she's facing down the police state with grace, and with any luck, she and her allies will win the legal fight and advance the cause of freedom a millimeter or so away from the abyss.

This case--and the Occupy thing in general--makes you wonder where that big bad liberal media is.  McMillan's being railroaded like Gerry Adams but nobody in the establishment media--along with the political establishment, whether you like to pretend it's liberal or libertarian or whatever--is making a peep.  If some halfway decent politician makes a Fox "News" jerkoff cry the entire establishment rises up to scream and cry, but if an American gets imprisoned for peaceful political protest, all we get are the local crickets.  That's weird...

Fires, Weather, Climate And Going Back To Cali

I don't think so.  More new normal for the future in California.  More heat, less water, more fires.  It's pretty simple, but not simple enough for teabaggers or Marco Rubio.  The fires would happen anyway; we don't need climate change or even people for fires in the scrubby hills of southern California, but when we get more and more fires, with more and more people living right in the middle of the chaparral, well, welcome to hell, motherfrakkers.

The New York Times Is Always So Much Less Than You Thought

It's not just Judith Miller, the screaming fucktards Russ Douthat and Tom Friedman on the opinion page, the weird sub-grade morons who own the paper, or the endless retreads of the perils of the not-quite-rich-enough-rich New Yorkers, but the whole of the paper--which once was considered to be an unimpeachable news organization and THE reliable source in the entire world--is always much less than it appears.  Abramson was nothing special, but the Times should have known better, somehow, but...

Are We Really Depending On Putin These Days?

That would suck, cuz Putin often seems to be half in the bag most of the time.  That might just be the narrative we are using in the US and Europe, though.  Perhaps Putin really is a patriotic Russian nationalist as well as a freekin' political genius.  If that's true and as Pilger contends, Putin is all that is keeping Europe from war, we are well and truly through the feckin' looking glass, but thank the gods for Putin, I guess.

Mass Affect Ave

Pretty Soon Sea Level Is Not Going To Mean What You Think It Means

In lots of different places.  Three meters--not three feet--three meters higher sea level is going to be a nightmare for too many people around the world.  Sea ice is floating at least, so when we lose it a ever-accelerating rates the sea level doesn't shoot up.  The glaciers on land, though...that's not good.  That water is going to overflow the bathtub in places we all know and in places most of us have never even heard of.  When Manhattan uses the NYPD to invade and occupy Binghamton in order to create the New Manhattan, it will be kinda' funny.  When entire nations disappear and entire cultures are destroyed and millions die and orders of magnitude more become refugees, that will be hell on earth.

Atrios Signal Boosts McAuliffe Sucking Maybe Not Quite So Hard As He Could

Nothing wrong with this, really, and better than some teabagging moron would do.  Besides being good for women and their health care, broadening access to abortion will drive the fundie teabagger types abso-frakking-lutely crazy, and that's good for women, men, children, pets, and wildlife, so way to go Terry.  And keep it up.

Virag's Movie Reviews: The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug (2013)

Don't believe those people who said the second one was so much better than the first one.  They are bad, bad people, and this was a bad, bad, and really fucking long movie.  Worse than bad is boring, and this one was boring too.  Because this whole exercise is flat and fake-looking, it's darn near impossible to give a rat's patoot about a anyone in this flick.  Every once in a while, it looks interesting, but not enough to sustain your interest for three gods-damned hours.  Somewhere, there was one (1) exciting and fun movie to be made from the source material.  This ain't it.  The first one wasn't either.  Ditto the third.  Third!

Super Ugly Campagnolo Prototype Crankset

Wicked ugly.  If you're gonna make something that looks like shit, it might be a good idea if it looked like shit in a different way than Shimano looks like shit.  Not a big deal, but eventually we all need to face the fact that the 1985 Super Record group with its materials and finish qualities is never, ever coming back.

Chris Kvale Rainbow Fade

Hello!  The paint on this frame is killer and not at all like most CKC frames you see out and about--and by out and about I mean on this blog.  Serial number 8218; I guess this is a 1982 frame and must have been repainted recently.  I love it and would get a frame with this paint today, tomorrow, or any other day.

Kansas Defies Nature, Sucks Harder

Republicans have absolute control over Kansas, and they have fucked it up royally.  Brownback is a world-renowned idiot from his days in the Senate--to stand out as fucking stupid in the Senate is quite a trick--and he, along with his teabagging confederates, have managed to do what should have been impossible: make Kansas even more awful than the way they found it.

Who Are Those Flaming Benham Brothers, Anyway?

I've never heard of these fuckwads till this, but they'd better be named Akbar and Jeff -- brothers or lovers...and possibly both.  I'm also not really sure what HGTV is, but whatever it is, nobody should give a flying fuck about those creepy fundie cocksuckers.

Virag's Movie Reviews: The Wolf Of Wall Street (2013)

Ben Younger has had a pretty freeking good year.  His flick was not great, but compared to the rancid shit pile Martin Scorsese dumped last year, Younger looks like an auteur.  TWoWS should be the definitive evidence that Leonardo DiCaprio cripples every film he is in, and Scorsese didn't have enough sense to see the real story of Jordan Belfort.  Rob Reiner and Joanna Lumley seemed to be happy for the work, but the rest of the cast could have easily been replaced by a dinner theater company from Dayton without any ill effects. 

Rob Ford Is The Greatest Man Who Ever Lived

We don't deserve such as him.  Toronto is not the kind of place where Ford can reach his full kaiju potential.  Let's get him to rampage in America; we'll build a jaeger and paint in patriotic colors and punch him in the face.  Good fun!

Michael Grimm Funfetti Begins!

Banned by FBI!  What did he do, wear the wrong color lingerie?  This is gonna get even more fun, I bet.  Heh, indeedy.

Teabaggers Is Dumb Everywhere

Even on the Serotta forum, but those teabaggers get really fuckin' bent when someone tries to explain basic economics which are beyond the ability of teabaggers to comprehend.  Teabaggers are even bigger pussies than they are fucktards.

Kay Hagan Kinda Gets It Atmo, Maybe, Sorta

Imagine if the national Dems along with Obama had been hitting this shit for five fucking years and hadn't been complete fucking pussies.  Maybe fools like Hagan wouldn't be so vulnerable, and maybe the outlook for better Dems and outright majorities would a fuck of a lot better.  Whatevs.

South Dakota Closet Case Shits The Bed

Senor Papa has some fun with that sad, twisted pervert Steve Hickey, because Hickey is a fucking loon, and it is way fun to laugh at him.  Why is Hickey so obsessed with hot rods and tight buns?  He wants it so bad, he can taste it.

Trey Gowdy Is A Microcephalic Circus Freak

I'm pretty sure.  Gowdy looks like Beetlejuice, but clearly doesn't have the same comedic talent or as high an IQ as the severely disabled Beet. 

Wait, Jungle Jack Hanna Is A Frakking Conservative

He's a friend of that rotten cocksucker Newt Gingrich, but according to the Chris Hayes show tonight, Hanna is all bent at the Koch brothers and the Koch-suckers who are messing with Jungle Jack's personal zoo--no, I don't mean a local teabagger rally.  I guess it's good fun for the rest of us when the reactionary dick bags fight amongst themselves for our amusement.

Gerry Adams Is Being Railroaded

The why is pretty simple. Politics.  But the real danger is that the short-sighted limey shitheads will undo the political progress made in Ireland and give the killers a good reason to up the violence.  That would be pretty fucking great if the victims of said wonderful violence were the bad guys, but as usual it will be the innocent, and not the unionist limey cocksuckers, who suffer the most.

Your Wonderful Police State At Work

Sexual assault and malicious prosecution as torture for peaceful protesters.  In America.  In 2014.  If you are surprised at all, please go and find the nearest suicide booth.  No need to pull your head out of your ass before you off yourself for the good of the species.  The Occupy folks should have expected this, of course, but that doesn't make it right.

Metal Hurlant Chronicles

Not good.  The idea of making animated Heavy Metal was so much better than this relentlessly cheap and flat Eurotrash drek.  The point of most of these--I would guess from the couple I've seen--is Major Boobage, which is just not gonna work on American tee vee.

Re Built For Speed Limit

But This Is Good

So, for all the assholes and racist scumbags, we have some good stuff, too, and maybe that's what is most important.  We should all be so lucky.

So There IS One Thing That Would Make Me Want To Visit Oklahoma

Really!  These wise-ass motherfuckers might just do more good for Oklahoma than any group has done in the last 200 years.  If they manage to pull it off and put it up, I might just have to go and give that devil statue a big ole kiss.

South Africa Has Horrible Racist Teabagger Types, Too

Sucks for them. Sucks for the universe that reactionary fucktardery is so widely-distributed through our species.  Anywayz, I guess South Africa is the one place besides Israel where we should expect to recognize the same indelible racist stain we see in our American society.  The only constant in human history is our ability to spawn assholes.

Spring Is The Time For Bikes And Bananas

Quite Possibly The Best Thing Alternative Tentacles Has Done

Steve Hickey's Closet Is Jam-Packed

Say "Hi There!" to South Dakota's numero uno closet-case hypocrite!  This sad, self-hating anal sex fiend tried to get a letter published in something they have in South Dakota called a newspaper, but all he managed to do was out himself as the horniest frustrated buttsex monger in the upper midwest. 

May Day Today

Nowhere in the USA, as usual.  We don't have the panache to do May Day, but we got drones and capital punishment, so fuck the workers.

Crackhead Rob Runs Away

Crackhead Rob's crack-fueled kaiju rampages have gone on hiatus.  The dumb bastard has somehow gotten the idea that he needs "rehab" or some such shit, but unless he roars back in full crack-fueled kaiju glory, Ford will never entertain us the way we wanna be entertained.  Fucker.

More Dumb Shit Fluffer-Types Don't Understand

Gerry Adams.  For sure, Peter King is a fucking dirtbag, but he has always been right about the noble and courageous freedom fighters in Ireland.  Adams was an IRA commander--and that is about the best thing you could ever say about any Irish person!--but he is no more a murderer than anyone fighting for freedom in his or her homeland.  The BJ Obama fluffers aren't up to the task for the most part; way too many pampered buttwipes who have never had to contemplate what the world is really like--unlike Adams and the others who fought against the entire British military with little more than light weapons and guts.  Fuck anyone who stands up for the fucking crown and the limey cocksuckers.  Have a vote and let the people of Ireland decide, then guarantee the rights of every Irish citizen--something the motherfucking Brits never had the balls to do.

I will say that a coupla a' commenters on that thread do an excellent job eviscerating both the ignorant typical fluffer-douche type as well as the vile Brit apologist type.  That's always kinda' cool to see, much like when someone shows some balls and common sense on the Serotta Forum.