Daisychains, Pixies, And Steve Albini

Nobody With A Brain Would Trust Kamala Harris, But She Knows She Needs To Make The Right Noises

Harris is a neoliberal fuckwad, but pressure from the left has forced her to do something she would not normally have done.  That's good.  Very good.  I think the days of lefty-ish Dems and other lefty or left voters voting for the right-wing establishment Dems just because are over.  I hope so.  Nobody left of center should ever vote for any candidate who doesn't agree with their personal political priorities.  Healthcare, abortion rights, voting rights, economic rights matter, so let's see the Dems and their buddies force their candidates to support those priorities.  Welcome to the party, pals.

Trump Deserves That Uncle Tom Cocksucker David Clarke

They can suck each other's dicks.  Clarke is the perfect sort of loathsome shitstain to fit right in with the rest of the scumbags in Trump's circus.  It's about time Trump hired Herman Cain, too!

I Hope Some Good-Hearted Texan Has A Bullet For Every One Of Those Proud Boy Candyasses

Do somethin' good for once Texas, and take out the trash.  Or at least jesus could make sure they slip and drown in the seething toxic shit-water for our enjoyment.

Sweet Frakking Jeebus, The New Star Trek Web Show Looks Wretched

So much fail.  There's only like 11 people in the whole Federation, so of course the woman would be raised by Sarek.  It makes sense.  He's the only fucking Vulcan.  The ships and technology look far in advance of TNG, so that makes perfect sense too since it's a decade before JTK takes command of the Enterprise for the first time.  Jesus.  Abortion.  At least Seth MacFarlane can't possibly fuck up The Orville this badly.

EE Brakes Are The Latest Proof That Cyclists Are The Dumbest People

Considering how well modern road bike caliper brakes work--along with how perfectly useful brakes were already in the 80s and 90s even if they didn't have the light touch they do now--and how light they are for the performance you get, the only fucking reason to use anything as brutally ugly and ungainly as these turds is because you are a complete fucking vapid twit with way more money than good taste or sense of shame.  There's nothing to be gained unless you a complete deluded fool.  A toddler locked in a squalid room with only a few chewed Lincoln Logs, rat bones, and a Hefty bag full of trash could make something that looks more properly finished and elegant than that fucking shit show.  The sole reason twits and their ilk buy these things is to show how much disposable income they have and as an accidental signal to all the decent folks left out there that marginal tax rates are way too fucking low.  Heinous.

Dying To Preserve Capitalism, Oligarchy, And Plutocracy

Literally dying.  Because Dems have worked tirelessly night and day for 70 years to preserve the for-profit health insurance industry.  Because the wealth of one thousand Americans is more important to the government than the lives of the other 323 million.  Because those thousand Americans use their resources to maintain a system which serves only their needs.  Because the USA is a rancid, diseased society.

If Not For My Stranglehold On The Award, Cobb County's Lt. Greg Abbott Would Be The Republican Man Of The Year

Beautiful!  I can certainly see what officer numbnuts was trying to do, but as a white cop in Cobb Fucking County, GA, you gotta know how that shit's gonna sound on the tee vee.  Ooops.  Racist cop looks like a complete fucking stooge on his own dashcam.  Exceptional!

BLUE LIVES MATTER

ALL LIVES MATTER

BLACKS ARE THE REAL RACISTS

THUGS

Now Serving Then

Reminder: Josh Marshall = Entry-Level Village Idiot

Boostin' mah signal, mon, cuz the truth is still duh troof.

If You Are So Fucking Stupid That You Don't Believe Rockets Will Work In Space, Please Kill Yourself

Right. Fucking. Now.  Jesus frakking christie, how fucking obtuse do you need to be to not be able to understand that rockets will work better in a vacuum or the near-vacuum conditions in space?  Seriously, it's like middle-school science shit.  Basic.  Issac Newton.  There's not a physicist on the planet who doesn't understand how rockets work in space.  It's beyond inanity to think that rockets need air pressure to push against so that Newton's 3rd Law can work.  That makes no fucking sense.  Air pressure?  Damn, that's some titanic simple-mindedness.  It's not physics, that's for sure.  These idiots are too stupid to live.  Fuck.

In A World Full Of Nasty, Over-Privileged Twits

The guillotine will be king.  Jesus.  I guess that's why Sacha White is a brand maven and not a bike builder, atmo.  Twits with money make the world a very shitty place.

Slackers Can Cover It For You Wholesale, Motherfuckers

I'm Shocked, SHOCKED, That Texas Has Its Hand Out For Federal Welfare Money Like A Gay Little Commie Libtard State

Those boostrapping fucks should be rugged individualising themselves outa that flood shit on their own and not looking for the gubbmint to come in and waste money on socialized disaster relief.  I guess Texas is full of welfare queens and other queers.  Weird how that works. 

Archival Fisking Of SPLC And Morris Dees

Dees nutz.  An archival fisking, but not from like decades ago or anything.  The SPLC is Cockburn and St. Clair's very own Mother Teresa.  I read the referenced Harper's article when it came out, and it was also a brutal fisking of Dees and his organization.  The age of Trump must be a bonanza for those fuckers and their ilk.

With Luck, Miserable TV Cocksucker Tom Llamas Has Already Filed For Unemployment

Really, it would be such a shame if Llamas were to suffer some sort of tragic accident while covering this story.  Truly.  Just awful.  If ABC has the good sense to fire him, I'm sure he can get a job sucking Ted Cruz's dick on weekends.

Tekno

Twits Versus Retail

America's doomed by stupidity.  Certainly the twits deserve to live in the world where Amazon is the only option.  They'd fit right in...

Tenement Day

Even After Years, This Post And The Comment Thread Are My Spirit Animal Lots Of The Time

Heh, indeedy.  Does Enve even make those rims anymore?  I guess the downhill wheels are different but still stupidly expensive. Their stuff is mostly ugly, still, too.  The seatpost especially is very nasty.

It's also fun to note that the Pinkbike idiots don't come across as smarmy, vapid douchenozzles they way the twits at a certain Serotta Forum do.  Blame Canada?

I Hope Charles Thompson Lights A Candle Every Day

To some random, made-up god of good timing and weird little pop songs.  After time in the wilderness, Thompson and the remaining Pixies are able to pad their retirements with the least amount of effort possible.  Fortune looks exactly like being good enough decades after you were done doing anything new.  That's a kind of genius.  And I'm sure the other two guys, especially the drummer, are wicked fucking psyched how it all worked out in the end.

(As always, too bad there wasn't room for another real member in the band, tho.  Shattuck is not a foreboding musical innovator or anything, but as a songwriter and vocalist and band leader with a history of doing solid, enjoyable work in The Muffs, she might have been able to drag the old guys around into some interesting spaces.  Maybe.  Or not.  Regardless, the geezers were not up it.)

This You Been Exposed Guy Might Be The Dumbest Motherfucker On The Planet

Eclipse proves flat Earth.  Rockets can't function in space.  What???? Don't fucking tell Issac Newton, asshole!  9/11 truthin'.  Seriously, this poor bastard is fucking stoo-pidd. 

Sage Steele Has Been Fucking Awful For Fucking Ever

Sage Steele has been a species low-point for way too long.  ESPN has always had trouble finding people who were not walking clownshows once they got past the few big, dominant stars.  Steele is perfect for the fuckhead contingent who loves sports news television, I guess.  Jesus.

Unnnnnnnnn

After Arpaio, That Idiot Trump Had Better Hope He Never Needs The Benefit Of The Doubt From A Federal Judge

Why would a hapless buffoon and low-rent scumbag like Trump ever need the kindness of a federal judge?  That's just silly.  It was a much better idea to make his racist shitbag teabaggers happy with the Arpaio stunt after firing Gruppenfuher Gorka.

We Can Lipsync It For You Wholesale

How The Fuck Is This NASA Climate Change Website Still Up?

Why hasn't renowned scientitian Donald J Trump shut that fake news shit down?  IT'S A CONSPIRACY JEWS LIZARD PEOPLE CRISIS ACTORS FALSE FLAG JADE HELM CROP CIRCLE FLUORIDE NEW WORLD ORDER FLAT EARTH MOON LANDING HOAX GOLD STANDARD ILLUMINATI FREE MASONS DEEP STATE UNITED NATIONS

Trump Should Shitcan Pence And Make The Martin Luther Coon Guy Vice President

You know Trump wants this racist old bastard to touch his tiny weiner.  This racist grandpa is the kind of old guy Trump wishes had been his creepy perv uncle.  This fucker is much better than boring old Pence.  Pence sucks compared to that Martin Luther Coon dickhead.

Boomboom

Boomb

It's Only Right And Natural That The Violence We Spread Around The World Comes Back To Us At Home

The USA has always been all about the fascists and dictators and torturers and lunatics, so nobody in their right minds would be surprised when the vile right-wing scum bring their violence and hatred back to our exceptional homeland America.  Our glorious christian empire is so much more than the world's most brutal terrorist--our racist empire is also a cancer in the exceptional American asshole.

Watt Choo Choo

Best use of Eddie Vedder ever.

This Is The End For The A.V. Club, Right

Being subsumed by the gossip kids, losing their unique site design look, this is curtains for the The A.V. Club.  Everything they do is already done at least twice on the mess of gossip kids sub-sites; they don't have anything to offer, especially now that they look like the rest of the group.  It won't be long now till all that's left will be a tag.  Nothing will be left for The Onion to take back.

Peter Beinart Gurgles The Piss With The Best Of Them

Beinart and sparkling intellect don't go together, but as long as he can collect a check propping up the hard-rightwing neoliberal DC establishment, he's happier than the other pissboys.  Antifa is not the problem, especially since the violent ones are 100% FBI.

Jesus Freaks Are Not Scientists

Or even scientitians.  The fundy churches might as well take the Koch-sucking money since they're too stupid to do anything else.  It should not be a shock to anyone that christians decided that it was better to take the money and deny reality in another fashion. 

Fire Dos

For Fuck's Sake, Make Sure Your Retirement Funds Are Invested In Guillotines!

Guillotines are THE growth sector for the future.  We're gonna need so many fucking guillotines.  So make sure you put all your investments in the guillotine industry.  Louise Linton won't even be anywhere NEAR the front of the line, either.

Another Karmic Victory For Freddie DeBoer: Sady Doyle And Her Ilk Are Fatuous Losers

Sady Doyle made a name for herself by making fun of FdB, but after Doyle and her buddies decided to go all-in against Sanders during the primaries with a comically inept, anti-feminist and racist bullshit narrative regarding Sanders and his supporters on behalf of and at the behest of screamingly incompetent, neoliberal shitstain Hillary Clinton--the candidate who lost to Donald Trump--well, I think we can all see that no matter how little you think of FdB--or love him--deBoer has been shown to be an intellectual giant compared to the smug inanity of Doyle.  Funny how that all worked out.

No matter what, folks like Doyle always were and always will be shallow, impotent twits,  perfectly privileged nasty little pigs jostling to nose their way deeper into the bowels of the establishment.  What they did during the campaign proves this.  They must never be forgiven for their vile conduct.

There Ain't Too Many Things That Would Make You Side With Freddie DeBoer...

But the insufferable welfare academia pinheads are one!  Bank it.  DeBoer is usually pretty simplistic and pretty simple, and he gets off way too much on intentional alienation mostly because his skills are substandard, but the fucking dimwits like Lemieux and Loomis, along with their junior pissboys and pissgirls, are easily a billion fucking times more annoying and stupid than FdB.

For A Love Of Ed Wood

Not just the astoundingly rare good Tim Burton movie.  With bonus kicking of the disgusting Michael Medved and the execrable Silver Linings Playbook.  Nice.  The bad news is that for all the squares out there, Wood the preternaturally awful director is a more captivating narrative than Wood the endearingly odd but ultimately mediocre director. 

Tomboy

Eclipse Day Is A Bad Day To Be A Flat Earth Dipshit

They sound very small and frail around eclipse time.  Sad!



These poor folks are not well.

Karoli Kuns Is An All-American Right-Wing Democratic Idiot

Congrats!  You've earned your entry-level establishment Dem pay--and fully-operational piss bucket--by defending two of the rocked-ribbed neoliberal piss-carriers just above you on the food chain.  That gets you more than a pat on the head, I'm sure.  Maybe KK will lead the apology tour when all the wrong-headed Hillary voters go around the land and admit their wasted votes for that pathetic loser put Trump in office when they could have voted for a winner.  Bernie would have won!

Reading Comprehension Is Not A Big Thing With Racist Bigots And General Morons Like James Woods

But don't blame the cocaine!  Racists and bigots and ignorant fucks in general don't read good or talk proper or knows anything important, so we should not expect too much of them.  Chelsea Manning gets it, atmo.  She knows the score.

Happy House

The ACLU Absolutely Should Refuse To Defend The Rights Of Guntard Terrorist Groups Including The NRA

The right to free speech should be absolute, but not the right to intimidate and kill with a gun.  Peeling away the rights of gun nuts to have guns outside of a constitutional scenario in a well-regulated militia is vital to destroying the culture of violence in the US.  Absolutely free speech for all.  And guns for (pretty much) nobody, including beat cops.  If the ACLU can lead on this, that would be the best news in a good long time.

Merry Waiting

When You've Lost Scum Like Carl Icahn, You're Pretty Fucking Fucked

Carl Icahn is about as close to an anthropomorphized shit stain as we have on the planet right now, so when that wretched abomination decides he's had enough of you, you're toast.  Perennially friendless, the best Trump could do were these associates like Icahn, but Trump can clearly alienate anyone and everyone within a thousand kilometers.  Good job!  Thanks, Trump.

Sir Face

Timid Beta Cuck Trump Didn't Even Have The Balls To Fire Bannon--He Made Kelly Do It

And now Bannon is having a sad.  Perfect!  Kelly sucks, too, but Trump has to be the biggest pussy on the damn planet.

Most Racist Statue...Now This Is Funny

Very well done.  All the gossip kids would be better doing shit like this instead of fucking up the important stuff all the time.  Baby steps.

Somewhere In The Darkest, Most Shameful Bowels Of The Teabagger's Tertiary Syphilitic Fever Dreams, They Truly Believe This Has Been A Bad Week For Dems

Sad!  Those poor deluded fucks somehow can't process just what Trump is doing to their vile little racist utopia.  Moar!

Wholey Diver

Maybe Senators Corker, Flake, And Graham Finally See That Trump Has Murdered The GOP

Corker seems a bit bemused by the Trump presidency.  Pretty sure Corker was never mistaken for a genius award winner, but he seems downright fucking addled today.  Nice.  Flake and Graham got bitch-slapped by Trump as well, right out there in public where everyone could see.  This is clearly the way a dominant, healthy political party behaves at the peak of its influence and power.  Thanks, Trump!

Earthly Deelite

Holy Shit Iceland Is An Advanced, Civilized Nation

To be on the verge of eradicating a horrible genetic birth defect like Down's Syndrome is remarkable and wonderful.  Every American should be ashamed that our society is so embarrassingly far behind a country like Iceland.  If science and medicine can prevent horrible suffering and wretched genetic conditions and advance the health of the population, jesus fucking christ that is the best fucking thing ever.  And if vile, backward, demented cunts like Sarah Palin hate it, that only makes it better.

No Thinking Allowed

Jesus Frakking Cristo, The Twits Are Maddening

How the fuck does this fool wipe his own ass?  Sure go ahead and have your money back months or years later.  Yeah, no problem.  You're cherry.  Jesus.  Over-privileged twits make life so trying--kinda makes you feel like the staffer that has to change Trump's shit-filled Mr. President brand big-boy diapers every 20 gods' damned minutes.

Green Is

Suburban Lawns Made The Papers Once In the 21st Century

Who knew?  LA was already the 10th circle of hell by then.

A.J. Delgado Sings

Every Year A Few Decent, Hardworking Kids Probably Apply To Harvard Law And Don't Get In But A Vapid Two-Bit Whore Like A.J. Delgado Got In

There's not enough time left till the heat death of the universe to catalog all the vile brainless fuckfaces who graduated from Harvard Law, but at least now the world knows that a repulsive, mental-defective hypocrite like A.J. Delgado is one of 'em.  She was a just a simple catholic girl from a working class background who was getting rawdogged daily by a grotesque, chinless--and very married--fat fucking asswipe named Jason Miller and too stupid to use any birth control or get an abortion like anyone with an IQ in the double digits would have done.  Fabulous!  Now she's an unemployed single mom slut in Florida, and Miller is back to living his best life with his actual family!  Thanks, Trump.

Everybody Clean Up

Sweet Fucking Jesus, The Glorious Butthurt Of The Racist Manlet Cucks Because Some Good People Toppled One Of Their Slavery Monuments

The frail mewling of the Freepers is giving me a gods-damned chubbie, and it is fucking lovely!  Oh how wonderful their pathetic and impotent cries of cuck-rage are.  Finally decent people are tearing down the monuments to 20th century racist intimidation.  This is the best time in recent American history.  Thanks, Trump.

Punching Nazis Is Fun, But Trump Attacking McConnell Is Another Delicious Way Trump Is Murdering The GOP

Fun fucking stuff.  A few of the nasty GOP shitbirds could see the carnage coming when Trump began his campaign, but none of those manlet cucks could stop Trump from slaughtering their political party just for grins.  Yes, Trump is too fucking stupid to understand how politics works, but he wouldn't care anyway.  He's a clumsy murderer, but his victim was the entire Republican Party.  Heh, indeedy.  Thanks, Trump.

Jen Kirkman Will Never Recover From Her Risible Inanity

I mean, it's fun to laugh at the creepy fuckheads like Kirkman, but it's not nice.  Kirkman is a vile shithead, though.  Drug's are bad, mkay.

'300' Was Absolutely As Hideous As You Remember

That flick was almost indescribably awful, and it is nice to see some folks remember that at least.  Had Zack Snyder been a shit ton smarter and a way better director, it could have been a fuckload of fun, but instead we got a petty fascist shit show.  Thanks, Trump.

The Yankees Really Only Have One Job

No matter how good or how bad, first place or last, just beat the Sox and there's peace in the universe.  When you don't do that one job, you start to look like a fucking Trump kid, and people think about lots of uncomfortable questions.

-0th Law

Unite The Right = Nazi = KKK = GOP = White Nationalist = Racist = Fascist = Mainstream Conservative = Trump Supporter

There's no meaningful distinction between any conservatives in the USA in 2017.  They're all the same.  They always were.  Some of them currently have more teeth and Ivy League degrees while some of them have more toes or extra webbing between their fingers, but they all believe the same dumb shit, and not a one of them is a decent human being.  Skull fuck all racist conservatives. 

'Half-Wit Saudi Prince' Is Probably The Best Description Of Ivanka Trump In History

That motherfucking brilliant anonymous Paki should immediately be conscripted to become the POTUS and serve out the remainder of Trump's term.  Half-wit Saudi prince.  Heh, indeedy.  Thanks, Trump.

Heather Heyer: True American Hero

No question.  Heather Heyer was a brave woman who died fighting fascism in the USA.  She's far more of a hero than any of those psycho murdering bed-wetting snipers the right-wing loves so fucking much.

Pick The Proper Side

The left is always the right choice. Never pick the side with Nazis or the Klan or the GOP on it.  A real pro-tip America can use!  Thanks, Trump.

You Don't Need Nazis Or Trump's Defective Children To Know America's Too Stupid To Save

You got vile fuckbrains like this sorry bastard, and the likes of Oliver Willis and Imani Gandy and Joy Reid screaming to the world that everyone who should know better is just as irredeemably fucking dumb as Richard Spencer and Steve Bannon.  Thanks, Trump.

Gloo

Those Torch-Carrying Nazi Bed-Wetters In Charlottesville Should Have Been Treated Like Innocent Black Young Men

And gunned-down in the street by the cops and left to die like the vermin they are.  It's too bad that the cops don't show the same insane murderous hatred of Nazis as they do to the various black and brown citizens out there.  Damn shame.

Of Course Poor Stupid Andrea Tantaros Didn't Writer Her Dumb Book

Giant tits are not know for their literary properties.  Tantaros couldn't write a shopping list without help, so I guess the dimwit teabaggers who looked at the book so they could beat off to the pictures got pretty much exactly what they needed out of it.  Nobody's ever gonna mistake that Michael Malice for an M.I.T. scholarship winner, either.

Oh Jesus Fuck Motherfucking Christ, The Black Gossip Kids Are Beyond Parody

And Joy Reid is their rock-ribbed conservative establishment Democratic pissgirl hero.  Fucking fabulous.  Gods dammit.  Those idiots gotta do better, gotta be better than that.  If those folks think Joy Reid is some kind of role model, well, then, I guess they really are beyond parody, farce, satire, comedy, tragedy.  Maybe that Nolan kid can try and explain some shit to them.  Lotsa luck.

Arcade Fire Needs To Ask The Other Butler Brother What He Thinks

A.J. Delgado And Jason Miller's Pathetic Offspring Might Be As Fucking Stupid As Donald Trump Jr.

Regardless, that creepy fat fuck Miller and cum-burping road whore Delgado sure as shit deserve each other, so let's hope the star-crossed lovers and family values Republicans wind up together at the end of the flick.

The Twits Are Hopeless Idiots

For every one of 'em that sees what's up, there are at least 10 fucking reactionary fucks with less brainpower than a rock, waving foolishly while they are being ground into hamburger intended for some oligarch's pets.  Atmo.

Yeah, Adorno, Sure

Kyrsten Sinema's Final Disappointment

From reasonable and decent local pol to horrible right-wing Democratic congresslady, all Kyrsten Sinema needs to do now to disappoint every last person on the planet is to become an awful, right-wing Democratic Senator.  Perfect!  Typical!  America!

Electric Alans

Rebounder

Signal-Boosting One Of The Greatest Things For America: Needle Exchange

Needle exchange is such a wonderful tool to keep people healthy that of course the loathsome conservatives in the Democratic and Republican parties hate it so.  But in the real world, keeping people healthy and alive is the first step in helping them, so rock on Ezra Kronfeld.  Keep up the good work.

Vicious Little Drive-By Fisking Of Heinous Cunt Catherine Rampell

The gods gave more sense to the average dull mineral than to Catherine Rampell, and it's not like she doesn't deserve every troy ounce and shit ton of righteous opprobrium dumped all over her every fucking day.  She's a vile, worthless waste of space, but she's a double legacy pissgirl, so there's that.

Maybe Partying WILL Help

Callin'

Manafort And Search Warrant Are Very Nice Words, Indeed

The best words. We have all the best words. Search warrant. Grand jury. Tax returns.  The news that the fucking Feds decided to get a warrant to fuck with Paul Manafort at one of his houses is a wonderful sign that Robert Mueller is still actively enthusiastic about turning Donald Trump's entire existence into a boiling caldron of public shame and humiliation.  Moar!

The Gossip Kids Do Some Heavy Lifting For Linda Sarsour

Good. Very good. Continue.  You know Sarsour is ok because she takes hateful racist shit from hard-right racist Republicans AND the racist, mainstream-right Democratic establishment.  Cool!  The struggle is real though, as you can see in the comments where the junior gossip kids are fucking clueless tools for the most part, bugfuck ignorant and hopeless.  Gotta keep on working it, though.  Eventually maybe one or two of those assholes will see reality.

That Flame Will Kill More This Time Around

Nothin' Like Sexy Candy

1997!?  These idiots have been flogging this dumb song for 20 fucking years?  Jesus.  America sucks.

Good Nuke News From Harvey Wasserman

Good nuke news for once.  Right before Trump's insanity and senility bring everybody very bad nuke news.  But hey, you take what you can get round here.  Thanks, Trump!

Political Song for Donald Trump to Sing

If Trump Could Somehow Rid Us Of The Scourge Of Journey--As A Time Traveler

Yes, destroying Journey in 2017 would be a great victory for humanity, but traveling back to the early 70s and eradicating Journey from history would be so much greater for America.  Thanks, Trump!

So, that jerkoff keyboard player who replaced Greg Rolie and his perm in Journey is now on wife number three--after wife number one the soft-core porn actress wasn't good enough somehow--who happens to be an evangelical cuntbag and vile hypocrite friend of Trump named Paula White, who is on husband number three, and brings jesus to jam with Journey all the time now.  That's fucking sweet.  When Neal Schon seems like the voice of wisdom in any situation, you're hella fucked.

(Isn't it ironic that Paula White became an evangelical christian while living in Maryland of all places.  And I guarantee neither White nor any of her followers would understand that allusion.  I'm more qualified to be a pastor than she is.  And I don't believe in any of that made up jesus bullshit.)

Irrespective Of Anything Else, Richard Sachs Is A Bike Guy From Way Back

And the fucking twits should pay attention.  Yes, it was hella gay and uber douchey when the cool kids started their own private club--except they weren't really the cool kids, just the suddenly not so weird and lonely subset of the most uncool kids ever--but Sachs is the sort of guy who has seen it all.  Hell, I'm so old I remember the ads for his Signature stock frames and his friendship with least cool kid in the galaxy Grant Petersen and the pine tar soap thing.  Sachs is the real deal, but the twits are not up to it, atmo.

I love how the Rapha thread picks up after three years like not a minute has gone by with the exact same people babbling the exact same swill right past each other.  Fucking brilliant.

Also, for the record, Assos was always over-priced Euro garbage, but Rapha is stupidly over-priced Chinese garbage for shallow, vapid, faux-hipsters.  Fuck Rapha in the eye holes.

Summer Reading

Smoke

That Chris Cornell Daughter Thing Was Really Fucking Creepy

Wicked fucking creepy.  First, One Republic.  Hella creepy.  That Ryan Tedder guy is a skeevy weirdo.  Then it was on fucking ABC.  With that football moron.  Jesus.  Creepy.  Dragging out the guy's kid was completely fucking unnecessary.  Gross, man.  Gross.  A Leonard Cohen song?  Tacky, tacky, tacky.

Get Choppin'

Let's Watch Alabama Get Dumber

Frakking lovely.  The GOP in Alabama is one scary group of motherfuckers, and that Roy Moore fucks more nasty old moms than any other motherfucker in town.

Donald Trump = Dumbest Motherfucker Ever

They never should have let him tweet. Anything. Ever.  Trump is too fucking stupid.  Whoever changes his diapers and wipes his ass for him should also hire someone to write completely meaningless anodyne tweets that Trump could say were his.  That would be better in every way, except for entertainment factor, of course.

Rapha Gets Worse, Somehow

With Wal-Mart money. Naturally the clueless twits think it's grand.  They should be taxing those fuckers so that they can't leave so much money to the idiot third and fourth generations.  What's next, the Serotta Forum cocksuckers cheering when some Koch brothers money does something?  Jesus, the fucking nimrods are their own worst enemies.

Another Stupendous Deboning Of Joy Reid

Jesus, she make it easy. Too easy.  The poor thing is a fucking dimwit.  The huddled masses sure do like kicking that poor dumb woman when she's down.  That truly is making America greater again.

From Where Did This Federalist Idiot Daniel Payne Plagiarize This Rancid Nonsense?

Plagiarist-in-Chief Ben Domenech must have a list of places he wants his clowns to look for horsehit conservative garbage to copy, right?  Isn't that how The Federalist works?  It must be.

Pretty Effective Fisking Of Assclown John Kelly

Nobody ever chose a Marine general for their brains.  John Kelly is probably just about as sharp as Trump is, maybe a little sharper cuz pretty much a flattened dog turn is, but he's a piece of human garbage regardless, so he's a perfect Trump guy, a poster-boy Republican, a full-on, ocean-going asshole.  Anybody who thought Kelly would be a significant improvement is a real asshole, too.

Sr. Atrios'  friends 'n neighbors in the comments seem nice.

Your Cylon Overlords Will Be Delayed

The extermination of mankind will have to wait.  It's not easy being a killer robot out there.  The Cylon struggle is real.

So, Very Decent Centrist Barbara Lee Or Screaming Right-Wing Nutjob Jeanine Pirro?

What kinda sick racist asshole would pick that rancid cunt Pirro over the wonderful Barbara Lee?  The kinda deranged cocksuckers who would lick Trump's hole and watch Fox "News", obviously.

Bringin' Back Those Racist Idiot PUMAs For A Drive-By Fisking

Why the fuck not?  Those fuckwads are a big reason why Trump is doing his bidness all over the place.  They were and are vile racist reactionary Hillary Clinton pissboys and pissgirls--Hillary Clinton, the one who could only stop Bernie Sanders with the combined might of entire national political party and couldn't even beat Donald Trump after running for president for 12 fucking years.

Caroline Heldman, Friend Of Big Ed Schultz And Not Bill O'Reilly, Didn't Want To Become Friends With Eric Bolling's Scurvy Little Weenie

Seems like a solid plan.  Bolling and his weenie probably know nothing about women, so staying away is the easiest way to avoid hassles.  Heldman was okay with Ed Schultz when he had a tee vee show, though.

Stickin

Punx 4 Jeebus

Eric Bolling Dick Pics

The man clearly has a phone with a pretty good zoom lens.  Bolling probably got advice from O'Reilly on how to photograph a penis under those trying conditions.  We should all pray to Jeebus Frakking Christie that the evidence is never made public.  America has enough to deal with right now--that much hilarity might kill us all.  Like fucking christmans in August, tho. Heh, indeedy.  I wonder if O'Reilly also turned Bolling on to the Indochinese ladyboy phone sex thing, too?

Feetcha

Is Sarah Corina Still In The Mekons?

She's still an enigma.  Nobody tells me anything around here anymore, but she seems absent since the movie came out.  Supposedly the only way out of the band is in a box, but I like the world better when she's there.

Tisket

Ah, The Mooch Was Fucking That Fox "News" Whore Kimberly Guilfoyle

That makes more sense. Okay.  The Mooch was hitting the tee vee pussy, and that was bound to fuck him eventually.  The fact that it was so quick, well, that's just bonus. 

If You Look Up Mortified In The Dictionary, You'll Find A Picture Of Peter Daou's Dumb Wife

Jesus.  That little piggy Daou is creepy as fuck.  Every American should be proud he was part of Hillary's crack election team that lost to the senile orange shitbag.

There, Here

How's The Obamacare Repeal Going, McConnell?

The GOP were helpless fucktards before Trump--that shouldn't be a surprise to anyone.  But now, with all the government under their control, even Republicans should be able to tell that they're worthless fucking nimrods, not fit to govern a dog park in Laramie.  Thanks, Trump!

Drive-By Autofisking Of A Daily Democratic Establishment Stooge

Plenty of brainless support of course, but quite a few vicious kicks when he's down, too.  That's cool.  Only once we make the neoliberal hard-right Dems extinct can we hope for any worthwhile change.  You'll never hear the Democratic Party saying 'rise like lions.  We are many, they are few.'

Trump's Newest Idiot General Was Castrated On His First Day

Some astoundingly effective leaking from the Trump team these days.  Sad-sack general cuck Kelly couldn't even move his shit into his new office before someone betrayed him to the papers.  Loverly!  Thanks, Trump.

The Federalist, Because Braying American-Taliban Insanity And Lies Will Make America Greater Again! And Plagiarism!!

Can't forget the plagiarism--Ben Domench has very high standards for lying about shit.  The bugfuck nutty christian Taliban shit is just the icing on the cake at The Federalist.  Those sick fuckers make exceptional American stupidity seem almost quaint.

Is there a way we can get Planned Parenthood to retroactively abort everyone associated with that fucking shit show?