Glad Tidings For The New Year Celebration

Gods Damn You Michael Grimm, You Miserable Craven Bastard

That rotten fucking pussy is denying us our Congressional funfetti in the new year.  It woulda been so beautiful to see him holding on with all his might while John's Boehner was forced to knock back a half a dozen fingers of cheap Scotch before he stumbled out onto the floor of the House to expel Grimm from Congress.  Will all the shit and sadness and racism and violence we have to live with, Grimm's glorious opprobrium would be an entertaining and joyous interlude in the midst of our barbarous reality.  But no, we can't have that sort of good clean fucking fun in our lives cuz Grimm is a useless coward.  Gods dammit.

Lively Patrick Lynch Fisking

That was a brilliant fisking, boyo.  Lynch is a first-class dirtbag, and both the cops and the citizens of old New York would be much better off without that asshole fucking things up.

Cowboys V. Washington Is The Greatest Can't-They-Both-Lose Situation In The History Of The Galaxy And Proof There Are No Gods

We can put up with lots of horrors and still love the gods, kids with cancer, hunger, war, suffering, desolation, Rudy Giuliani's greasy anus face and syphilitic brain, but not the Cowboys versus Washington.  There is no greater atrocity in all of creation.  Any loving gods, any gods at all, even evil, snarling gods who look like Dick Cheney's scabrous poxied scaly dick, if those gods were real, they would not allow either the Cowboys or Washington to win anything at any time, yet the game was played and maybe even on the tee vee.  Fucking gods are fucking dead and we are doomed.  This is the saddest day in human history.

Virag's Movie Reviews: Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes (2014)

Jeez, this flick was pretty fucking dumb.  Isn't the country pretty much empty in this story?  And don't all the smart apes live in a small section of Mt. Tam?  So why the fuck are the survivors in the one place where the apes might be able or willing to interfere with their plans to restart modern society?  I guess reasons?  Like without this inanity we won't have a movie reasons?  Anywho, this thing was giving off a huge Falling Skies vibe with the bearded guy, the woman from The Americans as Moon Bloodgood, a traumatized kid, Zorg as the bad army guy, special-effects monkeys as the aliens.  I don't know, but the whole enterprise seemed somewhat less than crucial.  Again, not a bad movie, but a pretty stupid one, featuring your old fave, the hand-held machine gun that never, ever runs out of ammo.  At least this edition didn't have Paul Giamatti in it playing a gods damned motherfucking talking monkey.

Fantabulous Mekons On The Road In 1997 From Chicago

Don't tl;dr this super Mekons story--!--from 1997.  Notice in '97 they are still the skinny punks.  That's fuckin' hilarious. 

Scientology Christmas Pegs The E-Meter To Hella Weird

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Sometimes Genius For Christmas Eve, Pogues Edition

Festive Pop Culture Fisking: Iggy Azalea

Pop culture snobs, not that I know anyone like that, they get a bad rap--see what I did there?--for sneering at the vacuous garbage which passes for music and whatnot these days, but the truth is that they are right.  Objectively correct.  Iggy Azalea sucks ass.  So does Beyonce.  Nicki Minaj.  One Direction.  Justin Bieber.  Taylor Swift.  It's all shit.  Empty, stupid, pointless, but designed from the ground up to sell, to satiate those who don't know any better.  To appeal to the shallow vanity of consumers who have never even considered that something doesn't have to be so fucking dumb.  There are great musicians out there.  There are good musicians out there.  There are interesting musicians out there.  Writers.  Artists.  That stuff could be pop culture, but that would require exposure, and maybe any particular performer might not be everyone's favorite, so the quick money wouldn't be there.  Can't have that.  Pop culture must be a commodity in our culture.  Expression is not always an easy sell.  What's the solution?  Do it yourself.  Fuck Iggy Azalea and the rest of the shit.  Learn to play.  Write a song.  Or a book.  Or a poem.  Paint a picture.  Do it for yourself.  Art is a language.  Learn it.  Teach it.  Repeat.

It's America In 2014, And Every Psycho Asshole Has A Gun--Sometimes They Shoot Cops

And sometimes they have badges.  This is our America, filled with gun nut fuckheads and racist, pussy cops blasting away 24/7.  That sounds bad on its face, but it is the way we live, so we must dig it.  Fuck, yeah!

The tell for all the sanctimonious cocksuckers like Rudy Giuliani, with his greasy anus face, scabrous bald head, and lisp, Bo Dietl--one dumb cop--and Mark Fuhrman--racist moron and failed detective--is that they are not calling for gun control and reduced police militarization, two things which would do the most to protect the lives of cops, even if being a cop is not anywhere near the most dangerous occupation in the USA.  (Police should not fear that every dickhead in America will be armed and ready, and citizens should not have to worry that the cop who stops them is armed and ready, especially if that citizen happens to be a blah-American.)  Nope, these vile fuckers are political hacks, attacking the Dems with bullshit because they don't give a fuck about cops, but they sure as shit like that Fox "News" and Koch-sucking money. 

As a bonus, somebody should give that slimy bastard Patrick Lynch an old-school police-style beating with some brass knuckles to make sure he never says anything in public ever again.  Lynch is an embarrassment to cops, to unions, to drunken Micks, sober Micks, and all manners of primates.

Lastly, that "Dead Cops" chant from a NYC march is complete horseshit.  It's another one of those establishment media fabrications in support of the status quo.  De Blasio is wrong to call for the end to protests.  That's a surrender to the bad guys, the Giulianis and Hannitys and those assholes, and an abandonment of the victims of the institutional violence like Eric Garner and Michael Brown and John Crawford and Tamir Rice and all the rest.  De Blasio can mourn the dead cops and support the protesters at the same time.  The cops will hate him anyway because that's their nature--it's about contracts and negotiations more than anything else--and the Republicans and teabaggers and Koch-suckers will attack him anyway, so being a pussy is not going to gain him anything.

There Are A Few More Than Ten Frakking Brilliant Mekons Songs, But Here's A Top 10 List For You Regardless

Pretty decent, with "Space In Your Face" on it and whatnot.  The Mekons have a shitload of wicked awesome songs, so a 10-best list is kinda pointless at best, but the list gets it done, so have at it.  (There's something awesome and very Mekons about "Orpheus", and I think that shoulda been there or maybe as a special mention if the listy people didn't agree for some reason.  Anyway.)

Fluffers In The Afterglow

It's been a good week to be an Obama fluffer.  His wicked cool move on Cuba has the teabaggers and other assorted reactionary motherfuckers all discombobulated, and the fluffers are feeling the groove.  It's nice that those judges got appointed, and the Cuba deal was solid, but it really seems like being like pretty okay at best is seen as some sort of glorious victory after Retardboy Bush.  It doesn't change the fact that Obama has codified the surveillance state and brought the worldwide terror war home in ways Bush would never have attempted.  That and the failure to undo the hold the health insurance industry has over life and death really make it hard to say that Obama has been any better than not the titanic fucking burn-out moron George W Bush was.  That's not much, but it's fucking dandy if you're a fluffy fluffer.

Least Incisive Mekons Album Review In Human History, People Magazine 1989

25 years ago, People magazine sucked ass.  Sure, they did review The Mekons Rock 'n' Roll, but they completely missed the point, making it seem like maybe they only did their quick 'n' shitty little review because the record came out on A&M, and that's what People magazine does, deliver worthless perfunctory spew at the behest of the entertainment industry.  Whichever underpaid hack crapped out the review probably never heard The Mekons before and was most likely a fan of top shelf rawk garbage like Bon Jovi and Whitesnake.  But there it is, posted on the interwebs for all to see.  That's somethin'.

Gods Below, Ascension Was Hella Stupid

An Orion-class generation ship built with 1950s aerospace and nuclear technology and launched in secret by the United States in 1963 is a fairly bonkers idea.  Putting that ship in your show, chock full of magical artificial gravity, a ginormous glass window on the front (top) end to maximize the entry of deadly radiation, huge open spaces, mood lighting, high heels, apparent lack of awareness of things like time dilation and elementary physics, and comically clumsy class distinctions is more than dumb.  A ship that big, the size of the Empire State building, would not be able to carry supplies for 600 people--and food animals!--for a century, BEFORE you considered fuel, spare parts that Orion nuclear propulsion system, and all the other random shit.  A ship that size might have a dozen people, maybe--with those people working constantly keeping the ship going, with no time for class struggles, assorted sport and hate fucking, drinking, intrigue--and that ship would be hidden behind a big honking shield to keep out the radiation on the front and a big honking shield in the middle to keep the people away from the Orion drive's radioactivity.  So, it's all pretty dumb.

Ascension manged to out stupid that premise by making it all a lie.  No ship.  On Earth.  A vicious psychological experiment.  Torture that would give Dick Cheney the biggest hardon in human history.  A ship that's not a ship filled with a couple of generations of purportedly intelligent people, not one of whom ever questioned the most obvious, fundamental functions of their "ship".  Did they ever wonder where the gravity came from?  Did they never use those telescopes?  Anyone ask why they weren't traveling a hell of a lot faster?  Why the trip was taking so fucking long?  Was there never an earthquake, hurricane, something to alert them to the fact they were still on Earth?

And all of it was some bugfuck crazy experiment to create superhuman teleporting psychics?  Really?  Jesus.  What a fucking mess.  So much of Ascension was an awkward ripoff of a sack full of SciFi tropes, notably from some Ben Bova and James P. Hogan books.  Add to that the atrocious dialog and laughable acting and you get a giant steaming turd only SyFy could love.  Brilliant.

Cuba Lee Bray

About fuck king time.  This is something good from the Obama administration, even as those good things from Obama are few and far between.  The Cuba insanity from the USA has been a dismal, cruel failure for more than five fucking decades, so we all have a bunch of catching up to do.

Huge bonus for all this funfetti will be the absolute apeshit reaction from vile conservative fuckheads in the American government.  Huge shitheads like Marco Rubio and Bob Menendez are already going fucking nuts, and the entertainment will only get more joyous as this shit plays out in advance of the 2016 election. 

Even better will be if somehow the Cubans finally get enough leverage to dismantle the Guantanamo Bay base and send the American navy back where they belong.  Since that will be a huge victory for the Cuban government in addition to a huge victory for truth, justice and all that horseshit, I trust that Cuban government will be willing to do whatever they have to to make it happen.

Least Surprising News Ever: Racist Lying Asshole Sean Hannity's Favorite Ferguson Witness 40 Is A Lying Racist Asshole!

This is the least shocking news in human history.  Bob McCulloch didn't give a fuck that this woman Sandra McElroy was a lying sack of teabagging shit, but The Smoking Gun didn't have too much trouble shredding that asshole's credibility--too bad TSG wasn't in charge of the prosecution.  Now what's gonna happen to all the gleeful racist cocksuckers like Sean Hannity, Rudy Giuliani, Bill O'Reilly, Ted Nugent, and the millions of others who were so fucking thrilled that a white cop killed a black kid and got away with it, who believed the lies and were scared shitless that the blahs might actually take offense at being murdered in the streets by the cops?  Will those racist motherfuckers face justice?  Will a big chunk of those vile scumbag teabaggers be murdered by cops in some twisted karmic turn?  Of course not.  Will they believe the truth once and for all?  Will Fox "News" retract their lies?  Of course not.

Reasons, Seasons, And Whatnot

Over the weekend I heard this song out in the wild for the first time this year.  Before the halcyon days of internets ubiquity, "Christmas Wrapping" was one of the sole treats of the season, when an otherwise boring radio station would whip this one out and be cool once or twice before the new year. 

Lovely Orbea Women's Bike Makes A Great Gift

If I do say so myself.  I managed to find one, unridden in 49cm disassembled, and in a very nice white with pink, from 2012, I think.  Really interesting hydroformed aluminium frame with a carbon fork that was originally spec'd with decent 10-speed Shimano junk on it.  Seems quite nicely made.  I'm gonna build it up with a 165 crank and shorter stem on it for the first year.  The bike looks way better in person; the pink is a nice rich pink and the white makes it pretty easy to find accessories.  Pretty cool.  Hope it fits for a coupla years...

My, My, Senator Feinstein Has The Teabaggers And The Criminals And The Perverts Scared Shitless

Those greasy little fuckers can't handle Senator Di Fi, as shown by their blithering idiocy and delusional paranoia.  The worst of us are truly frightened, so the rest of us can be a bit gratified. 

Wait, What? Jerk's Circle Circle Jerking?

I guess I'm outa da ATMO loop--once I bailed on my spot on the RS waiting list, I kinda lost the passion for the kool kids circle jerk, but it sure sounds like the douchebaggery is rocketing into the megadouchebag stratosphere.  Ah, well, unless you were in the market for one of their bikes, why would you give a fuckity fuck?

Holey Schnit That's An Expensive Kid's Bike

Jesus, that's a shit ton of bucks for not much bike.  Not my bag at all, and I'm a fuckin' kid's bike expert, unfortunately.  Cleary also has the world's most obscenely expensive scooter bike.  Fantastic.

Political Song for Dianne Feinstein to Sing

Hey! Dianne Feinstein Did A Frakking Good Thing!

I was never much of a fan of Di Fi, but with this torture report, she has done an honestly great thing for all of us.  The report itself is pretty fucking horrible, worse than many folks probably thought it would be, full of vile atrocities gleefully committed by Americans on many hopeless, innocent, poor non-white people just because we could in disgusting retribution for some imagined existential threat to our inherent white christian goodness or some stupid fucking shit.  The report is also invaluable for refuting once and for all the lie that torture was necessary, effective, fun, funny, lawful, useful.  Those sick fucks like Dick Cheney and John Yoo and Alberto Gonzalez and Jose Rodriguez and the rest of their evil cabal are the worst people who ever lived.  Thanks to Feinstein, everyone knows that the USA is as sick and rotten a society as has ever existed; we have no reason to pretend ever again that we are better than places like Russia or China or Israel or North Korea.  American freedom, American justice, American exceptionalism are lies.  We are no better than anyone else, and now more people understand that.  That's a good thing.  Time for us grow the fuck up and stop bullshitting ourselves and the rest of the world.  That bullshit gets people tortured, violated, and killed.

There never was the Hollywood-style "ticking clock" and there never will be.  There was no reason to to torture.  Safety was never an issue.  Lives were not saved by anally violating random prisoners.  America was not protected by beating detainees to death.  Torture was used because some Americans in power wanted to torture; torture was an outlet for the twisted gratification of the perverted torturers and their enablers.  All of this is revealed once and for all.  Now you know.

But even better than all that good stuff, maybe, is the fact that the teabaggers and the Repubicans and the CIA criminals and the Fox "News" cocksuckers are going crazy over it.  Scores of these torturers and murderers have come out from their shitholes to cry and complain that they are not the vile criminals everyone now knows they are.  In the short term, this is a great fucking thing for the American people, for history, and for the rest of the world, because when the bad guys like torturers and murderers and liars are scared and angry, the rest of us are happy.

Let's pray to jesus now that the universe serves up that rarest, sweetest of things, true karmic justice, to some of those creepy perverted assholes who committed these atrocious crimes in our names.

Horrible Teabagger-Style Villains Are Everywhere

Hateful, ignorant evil is the natural state of mankind.  Our species is too fucking stupid to have any sort of hope for the future.  Hating gays, women, the other, is just too easy for us, and far too few of our ignoble brothers and sisters are intelligent enough to transcend their base nature.  Mary christmas, motherfuckers.

Political Song for Andrea Tantaros to Sing

She's a fucking moron, and if she wasn't banging Roger Ailes' kid, she'd be giving handjobs for crack in Detroit.

Lovely Paean To 'Zen Arcade'

Excellent praise for Zen Arcade at 30, an auspicious anniversary for the album where the Huskers obliterated punk and hardcore and set the stage for so many folks having a blast picking up the pieces.

Fascist America 2014

After our latest generation of forever war in the middle east and our hard-right politics at home and our mandatory public veneration of our imperial foot soldiers and our creation of military police state in the homeland, the question of whether we are a fascist state is kinda a 'no fucking shit' situation.  At some point in the past we could at least pretend our democracy was vigorous.  We could fool ourselves into believing we were a nation of laws most of the time.  Maybe it seemed possible peace and justice would be achieved.  But now we can be under no such illusion.  Wall Street and the Koch-suckers enslave us at home while our armies destroy overseas, and the 99% of the people have no power and no will to stop the atrocity.  That is a fascist state at work.  America, Fuck Yeah!

Today In Hell

Comically Sad Little Men Desperately Attempting To Hide Their True Natures, Today's Edition

You're weak and ignorant misogynist closeted homosexuals.  We get it.  Just admit it, be honest with yourselves and live your lives out of the closet.  You'll be much happier and won't feel the need to lash out at your betters.  Might learn a thing maybe.  Or not.  You seem really, really fucking stupid.

Godsdamn, American Workers Are Fucking Stupid

Jesus fucking christ, and you gotta read some of the comments--pure Serotta Forum-style rancid ignorance at times.  Anywho...many Americans obviously have no idea how VW works in Germany and needs to work in the USA.  The union representation is mandatory for a German company, even if the stupid American workers are too stupid or ill-informed to understand the benefits, so VW will just do it for them.  Even worse is the fact that too many Americans don't get that the union is the only possible answer to rancid teabaggering and Koch-sucking; without a force to block or slow the demise of the middle class, unions for all workers--the fucking Democratic Party ain't gonna be much help--we get what we have in America today: two generations of falling wages, collapsing standards of living, growing poverty, and the disintegration of guaranteed pensions and retirement security.  Nice going, assholes.

Same Old Sad Songs, Same Old Story

Gleeful Marky Mark Fisking For Your Holidays

Marky Mark, not just a piece of shit in movies and music, but that greasy little motherfucker is a real, live walking talking piece of human trash.  The weasel cocksucking thug is damn lucky he's not a blah, cuz he woulda been dead a long long time ago...

We're the unlucky ones.

Today, Yesterday

Rolling Stone's UVA Story Is Still Up

This isn't a retraction, and since they're leaving it up on their site, are they expecting something interesting to come out once they and everyone else is through with it?  Two possibilities as I see it.  One, that Rolling Stone is just playing the part of courageous journalism and sticking with the story till it implodes once and for all.  Or, two, that they expect something to come out which will redeem the story at least on some level and allow them to say they were correct all along.  I guess we'll see.

Addle-Headed Racist Conservative Lunatic Of The Day, Today

Today's winner, whoever the fuck this nasty piece of human garbage is.  He's an all-American fuckhead, cowardly, racist, ignorant, dumb as rock.

Fucker Carlson Loves Him Some Jesus Jizz, Satan Jizz Not As Much

Apparently Fucker Carlson is not as enthusiastic about gurgling the spooge of Satan as he is the spooge of jesus.  Jesus jizz is real jizz, jizz for licking and swallowing, but Satan jizz is not real jizz at all and probably just some rancid Hellman's or cheap hand lotion or something.  So, suck jesus this holiday but not Satan.  No Satan cock for Fucker. 

Virag's Movie Reviews: Edge Of Tomorow (2014)

This is no where near as good you would think for a movie where Tom Cruise dies a violent death over and over and over.

In fact, the flick is pretty freekin' dumb, as well as failing to capture the bonkers glee of Starship Troopers--which is exactly what they were goin' for, and missing badly--but I can't help that feel that somewhere under the burden of rewrite after rewrite after rewrite, there wasn't a pretty cool story where Bill Paxton and Brendan Gleeson and an actor way better than Tom Cruise could have had a great time going over and over the top in a wild sci-fi war movie.  Whatevs.  We didn't get that.  We got an okay flick with a really shitty name and a worthless lead actor. 

The AK-47 IS A Weapon Of Peace And Freedom

Truly one of mankind's greatest inventions.  I mean that sincerely.  The AK was used by poor people, black, brown, and yellow people to fight for their freedom and drive out the colonial white people.  The Kalashnikov was and is simple, robust, and dependable, a true weapon of the people.  If there was a heaven, Mikhail Kalashnikov would surely be amongst heaven's favorites for his wonderful tool of freedom and salvation. 

Alcohol And/Or Fraternities Do Not Automatically Turn Possible Giant Douchebags Into Brutal Gang Rapists

The story as told in the Rolling Stone would have been one of the most heinous assaults in campus history.  A five or seven person gang rape at a university by well-known students at a famous fraternity house, with one of the perpetrators thanking the victim for a good time a day or two or three after?  That's not campus hijinks; that's not a brutal rape; that's an essentially unbelievable atrocity.  Anyone participating in it would not be your run of the mill ever present football-rapist but instead a sociopath needing to be shot dead in the street like a 12 year old blah boy.  Rich dumb douchebags, spoiled big men on campus, alcohol, privilege, college freedom, immaturity incubate all sorts of dangerous, regrettable, embarrassing, criminal, unfortunate situations, but there should not be enough booze or drugs on the fucking planet to turn half a dozen young men into gang rapists, even if any one of them would not be trustworthy or honorable or sane one on one.  UVA might not have the highest standards, but I have a hard time believing that a bunch of Phi Psi brothers would plan and commit a gang rape as described in the story.  Terrible shit happens and people do commit the most vile of crimes, so it not impossible that the rape happened just as described, but if it did, the people responsible should be tried, convicted, and sentenced to life without parole, because despite what some idiots might want to believe, gang rapes are not the main activities of men, college students, fraternity brothers, or universities. 

A Cute New Take On Slavery

Awww, precious.  America is a great place where this fucking dickbag "Pastor" Tom Atchison can use his love of jesus jizz to justify enriching himself using helpless addicts as slave labor.  That shit woulda been genius even in like 1750, so this fucker is undoubtedly a teabagger hero in Florida, 2014. 

What A Gods Damned Great Time It Is To Be A White Cop In America!

Now THIS Is How You Do A Batshit Crazy Teabagger Parody

This shit is fucking genius, every bit as hilarious and clever as Landover Baptist or Jesus' General or Commieblaster or National Review, completely over-the-top, vicious parodies of nasty, inane, racist reactionary teabaggers.  Good shit.  Thumbs up.

The Rude Pundit Gets It In Racist Louisiana, Atmo

Mary Landrieu will lose in large part because of racist hatred of Obama.  That's an obvious, no shit statement, but too few folks with a forum are saying it, so kudos for Lee Papa for speaking up and speaking the truth.  Racist assholes are racist, but the sad state of the Landrieu campaign and the Democratic party is the big story.  They don't have the will or the wile to fight the racist asshole Republicans house to house and to make them eat shit for their hatred and ignorance.  America...

Don't Expect To See Much More Of Cyril Wecht On Your Tee Vee

He's not following the establishment media narrative on this Michael Brown murder.  Wecht forgot that the dominant story is that Brown was a thug and Wilson was justified.  Telling a bit o' truth is not gonna get him that sweet tee vee money.  Stupid fucker.

Happy Christmas And Merry New Year, You Blah Bastards

Do ya' get it yet, stupid motherfuckers?  We can kill you.  But we don't have to.  We get our cops to do it.  OUR COPS.  Not your cops.  They are not there to help you.  They are there to keep you down, keep you scared, and sometimes make you dead just to teach you a lesson you apparently refuse to learn.  This is our country, and if you blahs don't yet know it, we'll keep killing you till you do.  Hell, we'll even get a few of you blahs to be cops so they can help us kill the rest of you.  Stupid bastards.

Don't sell cigarettes.  Don't go to a store.  Don't be a kid.  Don't drive.  Don't fucking complain.  Shut the fuck up and go back to where you came from.  White people and jesus don't want you here.

I Hope To Christ That The Racist Asshole Republicans In Congress Manage To Block Obama's SOTU Address

That would be fucking loverly.  Maybe, just maybe if the nasty little Republican teabaggers pull this off, some otherwise fucking clueless Americans will finally see the Republicans for the vile cocksuckers they are.

Lisa Bloom Shoots Joe Scarborough Dead In The Street And Leaves Him There To Rot

Fuck. In. A.  Looks like Lisa Bloom has found her calling in fighting against the establishment media narrative attempting to justify the murder of Michael Brown, and Joe 'Dead Intern' Scarborough was certainly a worthy target of her vengeance.  From the transcript of the grand jury proceedings, it's pretty clear that a few of the witnesses were massaged into backing up the killer's tale while the rest of the witnesses support the fact that Darren Wilson murdered Michael Brown, even if those witnesses don't tell exactly the same story from exactly the same perspective.

R Luv

Someone Should Ask Joe "Dead Intern" Scarborough If Maybe Possibly Killing An Intern Rates Summary Execution

Just sayin.  As far as anyone knows, Scarborough killed that girl, so I guess it's okay if some cop shoots Scarborough dead and leaves him there in the street for the crows and stray dogs on the possible suspicion of maybe murder because justice.  Justice, I say.

Fox "News"'s Prayers Have Been Answered

They found a blah they can put on the air who is dumber than Ben Carson and Allen West put together.  Lawdy, this guy Watson is a fucking maroon; he was on with skeevy news whore Megyn Kelly talking about being blah and jesus and shit, and Kelly ended her creepily sanctimonious segment with "god bless".  Well, isn't that special.  No matter how shitty CNN is, they can always say that they are better than Fox.

Something About Defunct Swedish Cars Brings Out The American Teabaggers

Assholes and elbows, the American teabagger assholes do the heavy lifting for idiocy all around the world.  Saab isn't coming back, but the teabaggers can't help but show just how offensively ignorant they are in every situation.  Sad. 

Five Rams Say Fuck Da Police

Hands up, don't shoot!  These five Rams should be lauded for taking their opportunity to tell the racists and the cops to fuck off.  The teabaggers and other racist assholes hated it, so you know it was very successful; the cops had a hissy fit.  Mission accomplished, gentlemen. 

How The Hell Did Cosby Get Away With It For So Long?

Yes, there were rumors, whispers, and solid allegations for years, but somehow Cosby got away with it over and over again, even though he was somewhat less than discreet when conducting his assaults.  He was an entertainment made man, so nobody could touch him.  The women who have accused him of the most heinous violations were not so fortunate.

Lovely Teabagger Hypocrite Funfetti, Elizabeth Lauten Edition

Fucking brilliant.  Now, maybe we should be above savaging this idiot Lauten for being such a clueless fucking asshole, but why would we give up our funfetti?  She's a piece of shit, and that's fucking hilarious.