Thursday, January 31, 2019

Roger's Stone


Amy Klobuchar: Delete Your Account

Some staffer even dumber than you turned you into a corn cob.  That's not a good look.  Here's a tip: tweet that Republicans are racist fuckers and people need to be paid more and have health coverage.  That'd be a good step one.

Remember When Space: 1999 Went All Star Maidens At The End Of Season 1?

That was a time.  Hard to believe the moon will be gone 20 years this September.


Mike Pence Is A Stupid Cunt

Your daily reminder.

Nancy Pelosi Destroys Free Re-Pubic

The nasty racist creeps at Free Republic have been shattered by Speaker Pelosi.  The spark is gone.  They're no long frothing with the same hateful insanity as before.  Oh, sure, Trump is winning. Bigly!  He's in total control.  He's gonna pwned that bitch at the SOTU.  Yep, Trump is making Pelosi look dumb.  Except they don't believe it.  They're dull and tedious now, not the eruption of hateful racism and bugfuck insane paranoia as in the past.  Nancy Pelosi has finally broken them.  Sad.  Thanks, Trump!

Brutal Drive-By Fisking Of Pat Buchanan's Good Friend TV's Rachel Maddow

Maddow's fucking worthless.  As much as she liked to preen about just how very smarter than you she was, it turns out that a big pile of cash was able to expose her as a fatuous asswipe.  Who knew?  But anyone who gets their start on the tee vee making nice with vile reactionary dimwit Pat Buchanan was doomed.

Mini Corn Cob: Kaitlin Bennett

Time for this sad sad dummy to delete her account.  She's so fucking banal that there's very little funfetti in trashing her.  Sad.

Bad Bad People On The Right


Tuesday, January 29, 2019

Terrell J. Starr Is One Not Very Smart Brother

Jesus christ he is an imbecile.  Of course, Starr is the black gossip kid Russia "expert" who didn't know that the Soviet Union didn't exist in the 21st century or what the GRU was or G.U. is.  That's some brilliant shit right there.  Being black should not and does not excuse you being a fucking retard.  Kamala Harris is an intelligence test for our African American brothers and sisters.  The truly very smart ones will not fail.  Starr will fail though.  Again.

Racist Texas Voter Fraud Story Was Also Bullshit And Racist

And not true. And racist.  The Texas racist state government was full of shit.  If you were surprised by this please kill yourself.  Suicide booth is exact change.  Excellent work from The Texas Tribune.

AOC TV From The Intercept

It's easy to see why the conservative political and media establishment is scared shitless of AOC.  If they can't co-opt her, she'll be the end of the whole shit circus.


Imagine A Mental Defective Troll Like Bjorn Lomborg Trying To Teach AOC Anything

Nobody deserves to have to listen to that fucking maroon Lomborg.  Lomborg's a bought and paid for fucktard, and he couldn't teach AOC a fucking thing on any topic. 

Kamala Harris Truncheon For The People: This Is The Best Thing Ever

Fucking lovely.  The DNA kit won't be in stock until after your last appeal.  Sorry, Charlie.

Monday, January 28, 2019

Imani Gandy Is The Premier Corn Cob Slash Foreclosure Lawyer In The Nation

Useful reminder also too: This fucking idiot Imani Gandy went to Oberlin and UVA Law School, so I guess all those racist fuckwads screaming about affirmative action programs have a point in this case.  Jesus.

Anywho, Gandy is a fucking imbecile who now claims that she forgot two generations worth of Donald Trump's racist fucktardery.  That's special.  She deleted the tweet but did not learn any lesson at all, I'm sure.

Plus, Gandy is a useless shitbrain but very useful idiot of Roger Stone, so I guess the World's Worst Lawyer award won't be going to anyone else anytime soon.

Friday, January 25, 2019

Political Song for Roger Stone to Sing


Roger Stone, Now There's A Motherfucker So Fucking Sick Of So Much Winning

Roger Stone has forgotten what winning is, apparently.  Now he needs to decide how much he wants to be a rat or how much he wants to go to prison.  This is about as great a day as we've ever seen in the last two years.  Thanks, Trump!

Bill Mitchell Is A Big Brain Very Stable Corn Cob

Trump's failures and failings have finally broken that poor stupid bastard Bill Mitchell.  Not that it isn't absurdly entertaining to watch.

Very Sad Day For The Baggatron Cocksuckers At Free Re-Pubic

Their beta cuck Trump betrayed them. They are having a sad.  Meanwhile, Nancy Pelosi is pretty fucking satisfied with how this is playing out so far.

Southern Crossed


George Mason University Is Shittier Than Liberty Univeristy, And Couldn't Nick Gillespie Afford A Better Rug?


Thursday, January 24, 2019

I Thought Mexico Was Payin' For That Wall?

What the fuck?  I thought Mexico was paying for Trump's racist wall?

No Stick


Exceptional American Right-Wing Racist Revanchist Reactionary Conservative Morons Suck Major Ass, Today's Edition

Vile MAGA GOP conservatives are killing our society.  Until we eliminate their hatred, we will never have progress.

The Poor Helpless Baggatron Cocksuckers Are Losing Their Minds Over Trump's Surrender To Pelosi

The sorry impotent fuckers are yanking their little dicks like there's no tomorrow, trying to convince themselves that Trump is not the saddest beta cuck loser in history, but it ain't workin' so good.  Heh, indeedy.  Somehow in their feeble, misshapen brains Pelosi is the big loser and Trump is still in charge of something.  They're unraveling, though, and it is beautiful to see.  Thanks, Trump!

Wednesday, January 23, 2019

Queen Trump


Pelosi Wins Again--She Owns Trump Now

Nancy Pelosi is a baller.  Trump went straight at her, made a threat he couldn't back, and she kicked his teeth in right there in front of everybody.  Regardless of what ever else happens now, after castrating Trump in public like that, Pelosi has shown everyone she's in charge of the US government and is the most powerful person in Washington.  She probably also destroyed any remaining chance he had in 2020.  Pelosi is problematic as hell, but history gave her a chance, and she grabbed it.

Tuesday, January 22, 2019

Phil Anderson's 1982 Peugeot

Very cool, as signal-boosted on the twits.


Even Clara Jeffery Sees The Truth About The Smirky Racist Covington Shitheads

If Clara Jeffery can figure it out, you know it's pretty fucking obvious.  But the glorious right-wing establishment media will always guzzle the piss for evil rock-ribbed racist conservative white assholes. 

Sometimes You Are Just A Fucking Shitbag Conservative

Conservatism is the real mental defect.  There are just too many sick racist right-wing assholes out there.  Time for a change.

Mariano Rivera 100%

Rivera got 100% of the vote.  Good for him.  He sure as shit deserves it.  Because he was a closer, Rivera was always the number one player at his position.  Win or lose, nobody in baseball could have done any better than Rivera in those situations, and everyone knew it.  He was the absolute top choice every fucking time.  Halladay and Mussina, on the other hand.  No fucking way for Martinez, either.  But Mariano is a fucking HOF guy, 100%.

The Sporty Gossip Kids See The Truth About Those Skeevy Little Kavanaughs From Covington Catholic Racist Shithole

Those greasy little racist creeps knew exactly what they were doing.  The weak-willed conservative snowflakes in the establishment media might be all bent about those white sacks of shit from Covington, but the Gossip Kids know the truth.

Saturday, January 19, 2019

Jim Hoft, The Stupidest Man On The Internet, Earns His Title Every Single Fucking Day

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Twits In Two Short Acts

Despite every privilege and luxury, twits know nothing useful about their society, but those worthless bastards can jerk each other off incessantly.  Of course, this is not an accident, but given the wealth and opportunity of the upper classes, the least they could do is get their heads out of their own asses.  Never gonna happen, though. Utterly, hopelessly vapid bougie dullards are vital to the preservation of our exceptional American plutocracy, and we got 'em by the metric fuck ton.

Friday, January 18, 2019

Kirsten Gillibrand Is An Intelligence Test For Dems

Let's watch the dummies fail it.  What Gillibrand did to Franken was act as an agent of ratfucking pervert Roger Stone because it suited her presidential aspirations.  If the Dems are dumb enough to give that dimwit Gillibrand any traction, well, they deserve President for Life Trump.

Why Have The Twits Not Been Squished Like Bugs

Squoosh.  All the privilege in the world will not turn hopeless assholes into anything else. 

Tuesday, January 15, 2019

Spass Haus


Mick Mulvaney Very Fucking Sick Of So Much Winning

Mick Mulvaney is the latest right-wing stooge to be shit on by Trump in public.  So. Fucking. Sick.

Loathsome Neoliberal Establishment Dems Still Worse Than Ass Cancer?

In 2019? Yes.  Yes, they are.  And Hillary Clinton still lost to Donald Trump, you fucking shitheads.

Artless History Lesson Part 22B From The Killers And Spike Lee

The song blows dog and the video is okay, but the baggatron cocksuckers will hate it hate it hate it, so good for the Killers and Spike Lee getting it done.


Of Course John Wetteland Is A Born Again Jesus Freak And Child Molester

Duh! Every born again christian is a pervert.  How fucking crazy do you have to believe in that fatuous born again christian nonsense?  So fucking bugfuck insane that being a creepy pervert and child molester and jesus freak and conservative and teabagger and Proud Boy and MAGAtard and NRA guntard and racist right-winger and GOP voter is pretty much all the same thing.  Thanks, jesus.

Monday, January 14, 2019

Space Force Academy Fight Song


The Dumbest Fanboi Shit Ever

This video is so fucking dumb.  A single Sovereign class starship could destroy the entire Imperial fleet and sustain zero damage.  The Starfleet ship could destroy hundreds of TIE fighters every minute at a distance of greater than 100,000 km, and the weapons from Imperial capital ships would not even damage Starfleet shields, while the Imperial ships have no shield defence against phasers since simple flashlight beams from small craft can penetrate Imperial shields.  Not that those space Nazis wouldn't deserve it.


Speaking Of James Watson, At Least Francis Crick Had The Common Decency To Die 15 Years Ago

James Watson is a doddering old fool with a Nobel Prize and sketchy as hell backstory.  He should have been put out to pasture many, many years ago before he could puke up his racist horseshit in the internet age, but no.  Crick had the good sense to die before everyone realized he was a racist shithead while he was alive.  Good job.

Tom Watson Is Too Fucking Stupid To Be A Corn Cob

What a fucking jerkoff.  But Watson is more than an enthusiastic boot licker and pissboy, surely.

Wonderful Neovintage Fisking Of Ta-Nehisi Coates By Cornel West

Brother West goes for the weak spots.  Coates can't really be blamed, as certain mediocrities get picked for applause by other mediocrities, and because it pays really well, and you'd be a fucking shithead to say no if you are in fact a useless hack.  Hello, Jennifer Lawrence.  Jonathan Safran Foer is here.  Malcolm Gladwell.  Steven Pinker says hello.  Paul Giamatti is underfoot somewhere in here.  Weezer will be on soon.  But Coates is in the establishment entertainment biz as much as Rachel Maddow and the rest are, so hate the game and the players.

This Is Exactly What Working Every Day In Trump's White House Is Like


Sunday, January 13, 2019

Slowe


Patrolman's Benevolent Associations

Crazed And Cowardly Racist Screeching Assholes Love The Fucking Police

Of course they do. Just like every thug pussy you ever knew dreams of being a cop.  These mental-defective fascist creeps are the very things we will need to wipe out before our society can progress beyond racist violence and guntard MAGA insanity.  Fuck tha police.

But The Motherfucking Cowboys Lost, So Fuck Yeah!

America is always a tiny bit better when those miserable cocksuckers the Dallas Cowboys lose a big one.  There are few things that can improve this country, but this is one, so thank the frakking gods for this gift, boyo.

Nobody Thinks Tulsi Gabbard Is A Leftie

Just because she hated Clinton and supported Bernie does not make her a leftie.  Gabbard has the advantage of being a woman, appearing vital and attractive on the tee vee, but that doesn't make her the progressive left champion of anything.  The decent Dems should take her support when it benefits them but not be fooled into believing that she is anything than conservative Dem with a monstrous distrust of the party establishment.

AOC Is Doing Washington Properly

If the entrenched Dem scum hate her, well, that's a the best sign yet.  The Dem establishment is every bit as right-wing evil as the GOP establishment, so having Sandy go in there and piss them all off while getting more press coverage than the entire branch combined is a very good thing right now.  If, if, if she can keep this up at all, well, things might get a tiny bit better because of her.

Thursday, January 10, 2019

Caravan Life


QAnon: We May Never Have Such A Fun Group Of Pathetic Insane Losers Ever Again

Q fans may never be topped for their sublime idiotic racism and hatred.  Their entertainment ability could be unmatched in any future American history.  We won't miss this Q retards, but maybe we should. 

Neoliberal Fuckwits Will Never Learn A Fucking Thing

And will always be worse than MAGAtards.  Trump's most useful allies are not the fucking dummies who wear MAGA hats.  The people forwarding the Trump agenda most are the neoliberal Dems. 

Stopppage Time


Unlikely Story Of Children, Family, And Love, Or Don't Give Your DNA To Some Dumb Company

Highly unlikely story of kids and love and mail-order jizz and DNA.  But the important part is the lesson that you should not be volunteering your DNA to some sketchy company out there who will share it with anyone and everyone including the cops or CIA.  Yes, the day is coming when every child is DNA registered with the government at birth, but that day is not here yet and everyone should fight as long as possible just on principle.  For the people in this particular weird story, well, party on.

The Twits Are Part of The Most Privileged Cohort Of Humans Who Ever Lived

And they know nothing about anything.  Jesus frakking crispy crackers.  And it's not like some of them aren't trying to understand, but they are pretty much too fucking dumb to get it, atmo.  And then there's the full-on fucktards.  Unimaginable wealth, every luxury, education, peace, and yet these upper-class twits are fucking useless. 

Kos Is A Corn Cob, But Will Atrios Mention It?

Strong signal-boost from the General, but nothing from establishment-adjacent Atrios.  All those tinfoil hat theories about Daily Kos are still nuts, but that crew is a disgusting bunch of grifters nonetheless.  Let's not forget that fatuous scam artist libertarian Jerome Armstrong is a Vox multimillionaire, too.  And Joe Trippi was an early mentor of Armstrong and Kos.  They're all scum.

Bird In You


Wednesday, January 9, 2019

Remember When The Gossip Kids And All The Other Esablishment Media Wannabes Hated The Orville?

Now they love it.  I wonder how that happened?  Jesus, careerist establishment media pissboys and pissgirls are fucking pathetic.

Loathsome Conservative Assholes Suck Major Ass

Baggatron cocksuckers, conservatives, right-wingers, Nazis, Republicans, revanchists, Proud Boys, reactionaries, teabaggers, they're all the same thing, and they are all horrible fucking shitbags.  Fuck them all.

White People Problems, Dead Brothers, Hackneyed Writing, And A Shitty Volvo You Got For Free

Fuck white people.  And what a shame for the Micks.  First, a brother who was such a pussy he killed himself.  Boo fucking hoo.  Then a brother who can't write for shit gets to pretend he's Ernest Hemingway on someone else's dime and write about his dead coward brother in Ireland.  How nice.  Well, most people are better writers, most brothers aren't candyasses who off themselves, and many gossip kids longer articles are worthwhile.  Not this time.  The next time they wanna put out trite dreck like this, make sure it's a gods-damned wop who writes it and not a fekkin' Mick.  And I'm sure Volvo will be loaning you and every other wannabe shithead out there a car soon so everyone can write some tedious bullshit, too, so just wait for the call.  Good luck.  And if it's shitty, tell 'em your name is Angelo.

Monday, January 7, 2019

You Will Dance To Anything


The General Is Right About The Who And The Stones Versus The Beatles

Yes.  1000 times yes.

God Hates Twits


Jesus Fucking Christ On Melba Toast, Twits Are Fucking Retarded

One of those sorry bastards tries to be reasonably intelligent about the dumb question at hand--and not FlashUNC this time--but the shitbirds are too fucking busy jerking each other off to listen to the only smart answer.  Twits are fucking vile.  Thanks, Trump.

The Eagles Deserved This: The Universe Owed Them Bigly

The Eagles beat the Patsies when it mattered most, so if a few Bears fans need to suffer and die so that the Iggles can get lucky, well, fuck them in their face holes.  Beating the fucking NE Patriots in the big game is the most important duty in American foot ball.  So say we all.  Thanks, Trump.

Sunday, January 6, 2019

In Case You Forgot That The Upper-Class Twits Were Hopeless, Know-Nothing Retards

Jesus frakking christ on rye toast.  The premise is fucking tediously stupid, but holy fucknuts, they manage to make it dumber.  As usual.  (Pink Floyd was Pink Floyd, and in many ways they epitomized everything that sucked so very fucking hard about pompously stupid and shitty arena rock for much of their existence, but any fucking pussy dumb enough to go with Gilmour, well...)

A Bad Day For America

The loathsome Dallas Cowboys winning means it's a shit day for America.  There's nothing worse in the universe than those vile fucks.  Shame on Seattle.  Again.

Saturday, January 5, 2019

Pence Decoded


Trump Decoded

Monkey herpes.  Trump has monkey herpes.  It's not syphilis.  It's not brain worms.  It's not herpes.  It's monkey herpes.  That explains it all.  Orange.  Insane.  Brain-dead.  Monkey herpes.

Kyrsten Sinema Did Something Right In The Senate

No bible was a nice touch, so that's one thing she got right.  She also looked fabulous, so there's that, while poor dumb Mike Pence looked exactly like a simp who was about to soil himself.  And now, Senator Sinema can settle in and become another Maria Cantwell.  That sucks.

Friday, January 4, 2019

Impeach That Motherfucker


Rashida Tlaib Is America's Representative

Watching ossified political shitbags like fat fuck Jerry Nadler and the Dem leadership pretend they're upset at Tlaib's vocabulary is pretty fucking interesting.  The rock-ribbed establishment Dems like Pelosi and Hoyer couldn't give two shits about motherfucker, but they sure as hell don't want any freshmen in their caucus leading or being in the spotlight.  More than likely Tlaib and AOC and the rest of the new kids will be subsumed almost immediately by the machine and rendered useless, but until that happens Rashida Talib scares the fuck out of Nancy Pelosi at least much as she does Trump.


Tour Duh


Everyone Should Know About The Tour de Trump

Most people know nothing, Joe Sleet.  Trump was always a barely coherent media whore, so the whole Tour de Trump made a weird bit of sense at the time.  The fact that it was disaster because Trump was a fucking idiot, requiring DuPont the company to take over is not at all surprising.  What's fucking scary is to think that demented evil fuckers like the DuPont company would be easily more sane and capable than the orange shitgibbon currently soiling the White House.  Not cool.  Throw in some lunatic Billy Packer shit and that creepy cocksucker Johh Tesh in the mix with Trump, and you gots a fuckin' partay!

Liz Mair: A Truly Stable Genius

Big-brain Liz seems nice.  There's just something about conservatives.  It's almost like they're all really dumb.  Like to be a conservative, you have to be a fucking imbecile.  Plenty of folks who aren't conservative are fucking idiots, but they're all too smart to be right-wing.  Not Liz Mair.  Brain genius.  Albert Burneko has some fun dragging her back and forth through a brutal fisking.  Sad.  Thanks, Trump!

Alexandra DeSanctis, Corn Cob

Jesus, that was fucking stupid.  Whoever this dipshit DeSanctis is, she is also a shiny corn cob.  Sad.  Thanks, Trump!

Thursday, January 3, 2019

Falwell And The Poolboy

Lee Papa says what everybody always knew about Jerry Falwell, Jr., Becki, and the poolboy.  The poolboy fits in perfectly with everything we already know about Jerry Falwell, Jr.  Whatever distasteful duties the poolboy may have had regarding Jerry Falwell's nethers, well, it sounds like he was paid well.

Baggatron Cocksuckers Are Dumber Than Dogshit 2019

Than dog shit.  Violent racist right-wing shitheads will always be with us.  Until they aren't.

Sady Doyle: Airheaded Dipshit In 2019, Too

Maybe it's a pattern or something: all the most risible vacuous pissboys and pissgirls are still fucking idiots this year as well.  Who knew?  Poor dumb Sady will be a loser on the losing team forever.  Sad.  Her Hillary lost to Donald Fucking Trump when clearly Bernie would have won. 

Moveable Feast


Tuesday, January 1, 2019

One Of The Truly Most Idiotic Things You Will Ever Read

There's nothing more fatuous than a self-help author, and Benjamin P. Hardy is a bigger fuckface than most of 'em.  There's nothing surprising about this bullshit, but it is disgusting right-wing filth regardless.  When the guillotines come out, I hope somebody makes sure this fucker Hardy is one of the first reactionary bastards to get justice. 

The Mats


Conservative Establishment Dems Who Refuse To Embrace Bernie Sanders And His Very Popular, Common-Sense, Centrist Agenda Are Fucking Stupid In 2019, Too

Hillbot dipshits are never gonna learn.  Warren is pretty okay on some things, and if she wants to win, she will fully embrace Bernie because Bernie stands for stuff that is simple, centrist, and very popular, but anyone who believes Harris is a fucking viable candidate is a neoliberal Dem shithead who needs to be flushed into the conservative cesspool of history.  Hecate fails the test, as you would expect.  And I don't see her promising fealty to Sanders if he is the consensus choice.  It's only "line up behind my candidate or die in the real world," according to neoliberal assholes like Hecate.  They can all just fuck right off.