Friday, February 5, 2016

How Fucked Is The Republican Party Going Into New Hampshire? Fucked.

Hella fucked.  The Republican Party would have been less fucked if Trump had taken out Cruz in Iowa.  That would have cleared the path for Trump and would have given everyone a chance to figure out what the fuck Republican Inc. was gonna do to mitigate the damage for the general election.  But now the GOP has to find a way to deal with all the coverage Trump is going to generate rampaging his way to the nomination, crushing Cruz, dismembering Rubio just for fun, and managing to insult and alienate as many exceptional Americans as exceptional America has exceptional Americans.  Trump the inevitable nominee would have done far less damage than Trump the triumphant primary election victor.  Oops.

Trump winning the nomination the old fashioned way is now the Republican Party dilemma.  In order to save the party, the masters of the GOP need to maneuver another candidate into the nomination, an establishment candidate they can control, an establishment candidate who will be savvy enough to not slaughter the Republican brand even though said candidate will suffer an historic loss in the general election.  But who should that be?  Kasich?  Christie?  Or Bush?  Christie is not winning nothin' ever again.  He also won't win enough against Trump because Trump will beat Christie into a blubbering bloody pulp.  Christie is a yuge pussy and as soon as Trump started in with the fat jokes, Christie would bawl his way back to his mommy--hello nominee Trump and goodbye Republican Party.  John Kasich is as nasty a piece of work as the Republicans have puked up in decades, and if you scratch him you find the real John Kasich is a smarmy and priggish repellent little man, a vile Wall Street pissboy and a sniveling failed Fox "News" careerist.  Trump would smush him like a bug.  That leaves "Please Clap" Jeb!.  Trump's already gelded him, but who do the Republican insiders have left?  It's too late to bring in another candidate, and when Trump becomes the nominee, the first thing he's gonna do is eat the entire Republican Party for breakfast, and the second thing he's gonna do is shit them out and flush them into the cesspool of history.  The Washington-elite Republicans need Jeb!, even Jeb! minus his balls, to save them from Trump.

Cruz cannot win the nomination and will not win a single primary after Iowa, and the Republicans know that.  Rubio is a fucking sweaty loser, and the voters can see that as easily as the Republican establishment; Rubio won't win anywhere.  Cruz and Rubio mean Trump wins, and Trump winning means the Republican Party is doomed.

What's the choice for the Republicans?  It has to be Jeb!.  And Jeb! cannot and will not win the general election.  Neither will Trump, but at least the Republican Party is extant after a Jeb! campaign.  Every decent American desperately wants Trump to win the nomination and obliterate the Republican Party itself along with the very idea of the Republican Party for all time.  The only ones who are scared shitless of that wonderful outcome are the loathsome Republican elites.  Their only hope is Jeb!.  Imagine that shit.  How the fuck are they gonna pull that one off?  First they have to get Kasich, Christie, Carson, and Fiorina out of the race as quickly as possible.  Trump--and the voters--will eliminate Cruz and Rubio in short order, getting the best of the worst and utterly vital, for the Republican Party, match-up of Trump and Jeb!.  Then the hard part comes when the Republicans have to figure out how a fucking simp like Jeb! can be made to get rid of their Trump problem.  Good luck, motherfuckers.

This was the worst line-up of Republican presidential candidates in American history; Trump understood this and knew he could get the better of them.  Where were the strong Republicans, the men and women who could have had a realistic chance of beating Hillary Clinton?  Where were the Republicans who could have had made a reasonable appeal to general election voters in the event the inevitable Hillary was somehow not the nominee?  I guess they don't exist, so the GOP coughed up this panoply of fatuous morons and risible buffoons to be delightfully gutted by Donald Trump and quite probably destroy the Republican Party as a bonus.  Exceptional.  America.  Fuck.  Yeah.

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