Saturday, November 24, 2012

Virag's Movie Reviews: This Means War (2012)

If your date picked this movie for you to watch, it is quite possible your date hates you.  If your date liked this movie, it is a given that you hate the person you are dating.  Not a single change could have made this film any worse.  Certain things would have made the movie just as bad but not appreciably worse.  The cast was not only not believable in the film but also had absolutely no chemistry.  If for some reason you had decided to film this idiotic script and hired an incompetent and unimaginative director, as someone did, obviously, then the only hope for the film was the cast.  Oops.  What the fuck was Angela Bassett doing in this crap?  I guess the check didn't bounce.  If you have no humor and bad acting and a dumb script, well maybe the director can really do something amazing and stage some action set pieces that elevate the art of cinema.  Sure, maybe, but not here, not with the asshole directing This Means War.

I was probably wrong in one respect; there was a singular choice that actually could have made this horrible artifact even more detestable: they could have put Paul Giamatti in it.

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