Sunday, November 18, 2012

Now It Can Be Told: The Secret To Surviving Televised Political Campaigns Is UFO

There is always hope during a long, horrible campaign.  For some it is ignorance.  Those people are conservatives.  For others it is vodka and weed.  Those people are hipster douchebags.  Perhaps you are one who was a chronic masturbator because Sandra Fluke gave you amazing, naughty thoughts.  (If those thoughts involved being beaten bloody and then pegging: Rush Limbaugh and Bill O'Reilly.)  Anyway, among the safest, easiest ways to maintain whatever you call sanity during a torturous political campaign: UFO on YouTube.  It's all good.  Gabrielle Drake.  Purple Wigs.  Ed Bishop.  Smoking.  Paranoia.  SkyDiver, a less absurd secret superweapon than the helicarrier in The Avengers.  1980.  A happening fashion aesthetic. Moonbase!  It's all there for you.  Gerry and Sylvia Anderson might save your soul.


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