Sno Job

Yer Othuh Pal

The Biggest Asshole On The Serotta Forum Gets Kicked Hard, Finally

The king of the twits has been smashed at last.  It's taken literally years for someone to finally call out that asshole for being the racist piece of shit motherfucker and brainless reactionary teabagger he is.  Lovely to see that after all this time.  Conservatives are mental defectives and it is about time America faces reality.  Moar please. 

Remarkable Story Of A Bad Actor And Terrible Person

Amazing story.  It's got it all.  Nazis.  Boxing.  Hollywood.  Incest.  Cancer.  Acting.  Tragedy.  Comedy.  Wrestling.  Fathers.  Mothers.  Sisters.  Movies.  TV.  And at the center was that Vigo guy, who was an awful person.  The whole thing is worth reading.  I bet it makes Ernie Hudson feel way better about his Ghostbusters experience.

Trump Ended Kasich's Campaign Last Night

Lehman Brothers.  Well, Donald Trump just showed America how to destroy John Kasich.  It was pretty fucking sweet.  Donald Trump does not even need to get the nomination now in order to dismantle the Republican chances in 2016.  As long as the Dems were paying attention, Trump made sure that John Kasich could never win a national election for anything.  Note as well that nobody did anything to diminish Trump during the debate, and every second of every day moves Trump closer to imploding the entire Republican party when he becomes the de facto nominee far in advance of the convention.

Indeed, Kasich never had much of a campaign anyway, but he was the exact sort of unctuous cretin designed to appeal to the rock-ribbed village idiots in the establishment media, a kind of Scott Walker but with all the proper chromosomes, as a mainstream Republican even though Kasich's positions and ideology are full-on fascist evil.  Trump took out the trash, though, and that is properly fucking funny in ways few things are funny.

The bullshit media narrative after this debate--the last one was iCarly, and that didn't end well for anyone, really, except American decency, of course--is already some nonsense about Marco Rubio, but Jeb!'s friends at the papers have adroitly ended Rubio's campaign with an editorial calling him a scumbag; after all Rubio's problems with money and credulity and sanity, branding him a dirtbag cheating the dipshits in Florida by collecting a check and not actually working as a Senator is something Rubio will not survive.  Jeb! blew it when he tried to attack Rubio during the debate over this failure as a Senator and being a thieving piece of shit in general, but watch for Trump or some other halfway decent politician to crush little Marco like a bug over this shit sooner rather than later.

Gaulzettis Are Still A Thing?

First the Jerk, then not the Jerk, and now the Jerk again?  Um, okay.  The twits are bemused.  But for once I think they have a point.  Gaulzettis were over a long time ago, and I'm not sure anyone cares anymore.  The kool kidz are probably stoked, but...yeah.

I think changing the model names is a really bad idea; Corsa is a perfectly good, obvious name.  Changing it sounds like you are full of shit.  Go with Corsa, paint it in a single color, and you have something resembling class.  New fonts, new names, it's all nonsense.  That peak, such as it was, was a lifetime ago for Gaulzetti.  Five years is forever in the boutique bike biz, and if Gaulzetti was ever going to make a splash beyond a few sycophants and overprivileged idiots, he woulda done it by now.

At this point, why not just call up Frank The Welder and say you want a hot aluminium road racing bike and then get just what you want!

Epic Crowd-Sourced J.J. Abrams Fisking

Yep, that got fun in the comments.  It's great to see that so many good people out there understand just how awful J.J. Abrams is.  I contend that Abrams has never made a good movie or television show, and that the only way Abrams ever got into the business was because his parents were in it.  J.J. Abrams without his family would have been a really fantastic assistant manager at a NAPA shop, but only if his uncle owned it.

I think there's a ginormous chance that the new Star Wars is gonna suck majorly, and if it doesn't it will only be because of around a hundred Disney execs undoing every dumb thing Abrams does and did, from script to photography to editing and beyond.  Any SW movie that is a personal project of J.J. Abrams will be monumentally awful and insulting and an affront to basic human decency.  

Cool Hampsten Mountain Bike

Neat.  Really, put a proper fork on it with some decent tires & you are good to go.  I'd ride a modern version of this bike with disk brakes, a long-enough top tube, shortish chainstays, and a current, dependable fork all day long in 2015 & beyond.

Plus, orange.  Take the orange on the bike, the orange fork, change the blue to green metallic and have a Zebrakenko vibe rockin' bigtime.  

And Then There's This Disgusting Piece Of Shit Ed Klein

Ed Klein, now there's a guy who sucks fucking major moose cock for six gods-damned decades.  He's been a useless reactionary piece of shit from way back, and even worked at the risible Parade Magazine, writing a fucking gossip column, and now bobs up on Fox "News" to puke up some especially inane political horseshit.  Even other sleazy Republicans can't stand this scumbag, and when ass clowns from the likes of National Review turn on you, well, you know you gotta suck pretty fucking hard.  Plus, this walking fuckstain Klein is associated with these two disgusting fucking chunks of human detritus, the fucking fatuous Shalit sisters.  Gods damn, Klein is utter garbage.

Get The Fucking Cops Out Of The Fucking Schools!

What kind of assholes would put up with this fucking shit?  Who is dumb enough to let this go on and on and on to their children or anyone's children?  Exceptional American idiots, I guess.  Having cops in the schools is a danger to the students, and this is not the only example.  America is a violent, horrible society, and the police are a menace.  Get the cops out of the schools, take the guns from the cops, and make America a little bit more pleasant while we save a few lives.  And take that jerkoff bully cop from the video and let some of the students kick the shit out him on a daily basis for the rest of the year just for the hell of it.

I Am The Republican Man Of The Year, But Donald Trump Will Be The Democratic Man Of The Year

Trump has been going apeshit recently, obliterating everything that the Republican brand stands for with such genuine glee and easy bluster.  Trump smacked down the entire last generation of Republican politics by finally blaming George W. "Retardboy" Bush for 9/11 in public.  Now Trump is attacking the campaign finance disaster we have going on right now in addition to attacking Ben Carson for Carson's insane religious beliefs.  This is amazing shit, exactly the sort of thing the Dems should have been doing to Republicans all along.  But Trump's the one doing it, and so he will be the 2015 Democratic Man Of The Year!

Quentin Tarantino: Great American And Friend Of The Blahs

Good for Tarantino, getting out there, and pissing off the shitheads.  Tarantino is beginning to look a shit ton like Oliver Stone's tweeker little brother, not that that is necessarily the worst thing in the world after the simultaneously bloated and pasty vibe Tarantino had going on in his last flick.  Maybe if a few more somewhat influential and/or popular white folks get their heads outa their asses and start admitting the truth, maybe, just maybe things will improve.  Don't count on it, though.  Most privileged white people are too bored and/or stupid to notice reality and are likely to think the cops are just dandy out of ignorant inertia.  Tarantino is not exactly a pop star and is happy for the publicity--and is a true friend of the blacks in his own mind at least.

Bernie Sanders Has A Good Plan For Strengthening The Post Office And Boosting The Economy

Not exactly like he came up with this all on his own or anything, but that don't mean he's not 100-per-fucking-cent right about the Post Office and Postal System Banking.  The USA in 2016 needs a coupla things from the mail: a functional and functioning US Postal System and a customer-centered savings and checking bank that poor and middle-class folks can afford.  What a boon to the economy if these people weren't being ripped off on a daily basis by giant banking corporations.  Those fees being stolen from the Americans with the least amount of disposable income could be running through the economy stimulating local businesses and local communities.  Sanders is on to something, and he should be shouting this shit from the rooftops.  If normal, rock-ribbed American-type people understood what Sanders was saying, at least all of them would be thrilled.  Exploiting the poor and the powerless is good business for the 1% and terrible policy for the economy and the society.  This exactly the sort of boring, common-sense, useful, centrist policy positions you will not get from Hillary Clinton or Martin O'Malley.  Feel the Bern, morons, and vote for your own interests for once.  Jesus. 

This Bugfuck Insane Adult Virginity Shit Is Not At All Creepy As Fuck

Gross, dude.  What the fuck is wrong with these people?  What kind of a sick son of a bitch is obsessed with his daughter's sex life?  Just say no, asshole.  Nothing like treating your kid like some sort of pet.  Damn, people suck.

Did You Realize That Space Aliens Are Demons From Literal (Completely Imaginary) Hell In Disguise?

Didja?  No, you didn't see the truth till now?  That's okay, cuz this inspiring polymath genius Jefferson is here to finally explain the truth to you!  Hooray!  See jesus is really behind all this alien shit, and jesus is here and very real and not at all the figment of some especially scabrous lunatics' imaginations, and jesus will explain it all to you.  And Jefferson will help you write a book that will make jesus make a mess in his jesus pants.  I guess that means that Rodney "Cock" Johnson finally has some competition in the running to be the world's worst living author!  Hooray!

Christian Conservative Idiots Really Do Ruin Everything

Unstoppable religious fundamentalist ignorance and fucktardery can and will ruin everything.  There's nothing more conservative than an elite boarding school in New England.  On the other hand, the conservative school does not necessarily mandate vulgar, insane christian conservative indoctrination be inculcated into the student body.  But that's not acceptable to some fucking retards out there and they want to their abused and ignorant spawn to attend CONSERVATIVE boarding schools.  Jesus fucking christ, these people are a menace.

iCarly Is Still Total Shit!

All this Benghazi funfetti has taken the focus off just how hilariously awful iCarly is doing in the polls!  She's still the biggest loser in the race, and since they didn't pick her for Speaker of the House, it is only a short (too short!) time until Fiorina's campaign gives up.  Let's pray to the gods that it is shameful and comical and entertaining when she fails for the last time.  She is a disgusting human being, even when compared to other Republicans!  Some of the fucktards and cretins still dig her, so that makes her vulgar incompetence even more beautiful!

Cranes

Unfortunately For The Blue Jays And American Decency, David Price Is Always Not Quite Good Enough When It Counts

David Price is always fine, just fine till you really need him to step up, and then you get not quite good enough.  There are winners and there are losers.  Price is not a winner.  The Royals are an offense against good taste so fuck David Price.  Thanks, Obama.

Dumb Things You Gotta Do

Political Song for Trey Gowdy to Sing

Not Istanbul, Not Constantinople, Not Saab

Idiocy.  The cars are fucking ugly, too.

The Spirit Of The Radio

If Hillary Clinton Is Elected President, Blame The Dumb Fucking House Republicans And Their Fatuous Fox "News" Masters

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Paul Ryan, Proven Loser!

Nice job, Republicans!  You managed to dredge up a proven loser in a national election and drop him right back into the national spotlight in the VERY NEXT election cycle.  Fucking brilliant!  Trump/Ryan!  50-state losers in 2016!!

Why not?

At this point the Republicans are completely fucked in Washington.  They're going to get destroyed in the presidential election, will lose the Senate, and Ryan will fuck this up so badly that it is now very likely that the Dems will get the House back.

As far as the rest of the nation is concerned, this is the end of Paul Ryan's political career, and that is a good thing for America as Ryan is a vile, small-minded dimwit. 

How Many More World Series Would The Yankees Have Won Since 2009 (Or 2000) With Mattingly As Manager?

More than they did, that's for sure.  Joe Girardi was always the wrong choice, especially after the ineffectual second-half of Joe Torre's tenure.  Don Mattingly could have done a way better job in the 21st century for the Yankees than Torre and Girardi--or, given that they're the fucking Yankees, certainly would have done no worse.  Plus, he's Don Mattingly and not Joe Torre and Joe Girardi. 

Today Is Surely The Dumbest News Day In US Media History

Today some real news is happening somewhere.  Today the American health care system is crumbling.  Today our glorious and exceptional American Empire is slaughtering helpless poor people somewhere or other.  Far away planets are being discovered.  Poetry is being written.  Shit's happening, but all the fucktards who do the news can talk about is the dumbest thing in the fucking universe.  America is not being dumbed down.  America is just fucking dumb already.  Our media is dumb.  Our citizens are dumb.  We're fucking awful. 

Palestine And Israel Are Fucked

Since the first hour in 1948.  Clearly, the West has been criminal in its continuous support of the fascist, racist Israel--better to have left the area to its own devices and let the brutality carry on with far less intensity for the past 70 years.  Too late for that shit now, and the Palestinians will continue to suffer ongoing atrocities and violence with no recourse beyond rocks and knives. 

Repellant Racist Idiots Of The Day Today

These nasty fuckstains.  They're fucking horribly stupid cretins and toothless, flaccid racists who clearly represent the rock-ribbed core of exceptional American conservatism.  Thanks, Obama.

Politcal Song for Exceptional Americans to Sing

Clearly Daniel Murphy Is The Greatest Living American

Exceptional!  American hero. 

Malia Cohen Is The Second Greatest Living American

Telling wildly unhinged criminal and pervert Bill O'Reilly to go fuck himself the day after his risible "Kate's Law" horseshit stunt went down to an embarrassing defeat makes Malia Cohen the (second) best American.

Those NY Mets, The Loveable Losers, Better Them Than The Cubs

The Mets have Yo La Tengo as fans and Bartolo Colon and Curtis Granderson on the roster and no Theo Epstein at anywhere at all.  The Mets are also not from fucking Chicago, so that's all you need to know.

It's good to see the Cubs eliminated in hilarious fashion--everything about that organization is simply awful--but too bad about the Royals.

Duh Biden

No shit.  It was clear from the outset that Biden would not run if Clinton remained the dominant, establishment consensus candidate.  Didn't take any sort of genius to see that shit, but that didn't stop the establishment media dipshits and Fox "News" fuckwads from pushing an idiotic story on the exceptional American dummies.

Donald Trump Presents: Gelding Jeb!

If you wanted to know what Jeb! Bush would look like after he got his balls sliced off in front of the entire country, you got it!  Donald Trump has castrated Jeb! over this 9/11 bullshit and the horrible job his idiot brother did keeping America safe, flamboyantly failing to stop some lice-ridden shitheads from crashing planes into buildings on national tee vee just for starters.  This is genius, and finally a few Dems might be seeing how the Kerry campaign (or Dean or anyone) could have won a 50-state landslide in 2004 instead of leaving it close enough for the thieving traitors in the Bush campaign to steal Ohio.  Will the feckless Dems learn this valuable political lesson?  Of course not.  The best we'll get from all this political comedy is some high-calorie, entertaining funfetti as the Bush/Rove brand is flushed into the sewer where it has always belonged once and for all.

Paul Ryan Might Be The Final Nail For The GOP

Ryan's outright telling the rest of the Republicans that he will not even try to lead and is promising to do a shitty job!  That's fucking brilliant.  Ryan is a loser's loser--see Romney, Mitt--and he might be the final insult that destroys the Republican party.  Fuck yeah!  Thanks, Obama.

Canada Goes Full-On Doonesbury

Apparently the Canucks elected Gary Trudeau, or possibly Uncle Duke or one of the other characters, to be the President of Canada! or whatever they do up there.  Better than that piece of shit Herpes Harper they had before.

Fuck You, Jim Webb

Nobody likes you, and and they never did.  Webb is a fucking loon, and a shitty Democrat.  He'd be a shitty Republican, too, but nobody important cares about that.  Nobody's gonna miss Webb.

Donald Trump: Exceptional American Hero

Trump really IS making America great again maybe!  He's dis-fucking-mantling the entire Bush family--and by association not only the Republican party but also every single Republican in the USA--and dumping the pieces in a ditch, lighting them on fire, and then pissing on the ashes.  Why is he doing it?  Because suddenly the truth and history mean more to Trump than any self-aggrandizing clown show?  Fuck no!  Trump is obliterating Jeb! Bush and the legacy of George W. "Retardboy" Bush because he HATES Jeb! and the rest of those Bush assholes.  Trump doesn't give a fuck about truth, America, or responsibility of Bush and Cheney.  Trump's a bully and he will do everything he can to see that Jeb! never becomes president. Even tell the truth!  So what?  Trump is not only right on this shit, he's also incredibly fucking entertaining, making the Republicans and Fox "News" dickbags stutter and stammer and sweat trying to deny that Bush and Cheney were in charge when some greasy scumbags attacked NY and Washington without any opposition.  This is all so loverly, and the Dems are gonna owe Trump bigtime.  Certainly no Dems would have had the balls to attack Jeb! over his loathsome and incompetent brother, but Trump had no problem at all.  And now it's out there, and some of the timid Dems can begin to discredit not only Jeb! and Bush and Cheney and Reagan but the ENTIRE REPUBLICAN BULLSHIT MYTHOLOGY on foreign policy and economics and national security and the rest of the GOP shit show!  Trump did that for them.  Exceptional American heroes are exceptional. 

Cornell University Steps Up To The Bigtime

Nice job by some folks at Cornell.  It's very rare to hear the sorts of people who are supposedly the best educated speak up about how fucking backwardass the reactionary conservatives are on pretty much everything.  Universities and kindergartens are no place for anyone dumb enough to be teabaggers or Koch suckers or Republicans.  If you want a job where truth is not an opinion, you can't ignore facts like evolution and history because your opinion doesn't align with the truth.  If Cornell keeps this shit up, they might be on to something!

Winters Bone

Easily The Most Risible Lie You Will Read All Week About Bernie Sanders

The Daily Beast: Fox "News" for dipshits under the age of 70!  Exceptional!  This Marlow Stern cocksucker is surely Sean Hannity stupid and Bill O'Reilly self-deluded and bugfuck insane.  I guess Marlow Sterns's destiny on Earth is making Jeff Jacoby look literate or intelligent or rational in comparison!  The reality of how Sanders comported himself on the Maher show is perfectly clear if you actually watch the fucking thing.  Sanders was neither "stunned" nor "thrown" by anything Maher asked.  He answered the fucking questions as clearly as he could, answering Maher like he was talking to a mutton-head, which he was.  Bernie Sanders is probably weary of having to answer the stupid questions over and over with the same simplistic answers, almost as if the entire media-entertainment establishment is actually not listening to a fucking thing Sanders ever says.  The one mistake Sanders made was not calling out Vermont's governor Peter Shumlin over the single payer debacle, pointing out that not instituting single-payer in Vermont was a political decision and not an economic one because the economic requirements of a single-state single-payer health program would have too risky to the political careers of the Democrats in Vermont.  Outlawing private health insurance might just piss off the scumsuckers at insurance companies, and given that our SCOTUS is run by illiterate fucktards with the sophistication of the dumbest inbred teabaggers, not likely to get support from the courts.  Without the active support of the federal government, the politicians in Vermont did not have the balls to blow up their private health care system.  That's way different than saying it was impossible or would have taken the whole budget.  Bill Maher is an addle-head douchebag, and shame on Bernie Sanders from letting him lie so ostentatiously.  Other than that, Sanders was fine, and Marlow Stern sucks scabby donkey dick.

Holy Shit! That Reactionary Plagiarist Fuckhead Jeff Jacoby Still Has A Job At The Papers!

Who knew? He's still a fucking imbecile! He's still as wrong as wrong can be about pretty much everything! He's still a ginormous asshole!  What a hoot!  I wonder who Jacoby is ripping off this week?  When you write for a newspaper, and the only rule you have is don't copy shit, how the fuck do you keep your job at what passes for a somewhat reputable second-tier media organization after everybody discovers you are a bigger loser plagiarist than Mike Barnicle?  That's fucked up.  And Jeff Jacoby is a titanic fucking human shitstain.

No, Some Eggheads Did Not Discover Aliens

But so what?  There are billions and billions of fucking weird-ass things out there in the universe, and the more humanity learns about them, the better humanity becomes.  We don't need fucking Dyson Spheres and Swarms and Ringworlds or whatever other silly megastructures you wanna talk about or aliens or robots or anything.  Nope, we need more science and more scientists and more discovery and more search and more research and more knowledge and more truth and more comprehension.  That's our only hope for the future. 

The Jets Did The Gods' Work Today

Little things matter, and when the Jets beat the fucking racist shitshow that is the Washington, DC football organization on the field, well that means the gods have been good to us.  Thanks, Obama.

Turkish Delight National Saab Car?

What the fucking fuck?  Beyond funny is sad.  But what is a Turkish national car?  Britian doesn't have a national car.  They have Indian cars and American cars and German cars.  Canada doesn't have a national car.  Hell, Sweden doesn't have a national car at this point: Volvo is Chinese and Saab is dead.  China.  China has national cars. 

Colts Pats The World Is A Cesspool

Billions of dollars of shit on your tee vee.  Terrible people all around and one of the most successful entertainment enterprises in the galaxy.  Exceptional!  Thanks Obama.

Hey! Michigan And That Contemptible Jim Harbaugh Lost To MSU Today

In the most hilarious and embarrassing way possible--at home, in front of all those stupid bastards brainlessly enabling the atrocity that is Jim Harbaugh and furthering the destruction of the University of Michigan--so maybe all you fuckers should reevaluate that belief-in-the-gods shit.  I mean, why not?  Those fake god assholes might be pretty cool after all.

When You Got Mets And Cubs

You go with Mets.  Rahm or Yo La Tengo?  Yep.

Oh Jesus, You Fucking Twits Just Fucking Stop It!

Even the ones that mean well are pretty fucking soft-headed for the most part, and those twits are really fucking sickening examples of the sort of upper class and upper-middle class fuckfaces who watch Chris Matthews and Morning Joe and listen to NPR and are just too gods-damned useless in every conceivable fashion.  Just go.  Away.  And die. 

Golden Soul

Nasty, Stupid Twits Just Can't Help Themselves

Where would America be without exceptionally vile pampered dumbfucks?  Where?  Not here, that's fo sho.  It's nice when the biggest asshole on that board gets kicked, and another clueless vulgarian has his right-wing horseshit jammed back in his face.  Something, at least.  If some of these upper-class twits can't grasp simple fifth-grade level science, imagine what the sorry sons of bitches who grew up hungry are like.  Jesus.  Americans are exceptionally stupid and ignorant. 

Eye Reeeeeen

Freedumb! Freedumb! Freedumb Caucus!

How's that search for a new Speaker going?  The fucking dipshits in the Freedumb Caucus are so busy acting like insane idiots--because they are insanely stupid motherfuckers each and every one--that something REALLY bad for the Republican party is likely to happen any time now--and gods damn that would be a fucking brilliant stroke of luck for the rest of America and the world!  The liars and criminals who thought they were in charge of the Repubs are fucked beyond repair.  Those fatuous GOP scumguzzlers may have to settle for a famous pathetic loser to rescue the Republican brand, and if that happens, they might as well kiss 2016 goodbye up and down the ticket and in all 50 states.  It will be a beautifully entertaining bloodbath.

This is wonderful, and I love it more than I have ever loved anything.  The entire Republican party could collapse over this, and that would be the best thing to happen to the USA in decades!  Change might actually come for this sad old land, and it might be the most entertaining change ever!

Yeah, iCarly Is Fucking Done

And there's no fucking way in hell Trump's gonna pick her for Veep.  Nobody's picking her for Veep.  iCarly's "bump" in the polls one of the most risible examples of a prefab media story chucked out there to make the nonsense horserace coverage seem more exciting to the fools who are both sad enough to follow the campaign and stupid enough to believe what they see.  In other words, morons.  In other other words, exceptional Americans!  In other other other words, Fox "News" fans!

iCarly is also as bad a candidate as she is a human being.  Unlikable is an understatement, and Digby has a point that being a woman makes Fiorina's repugnant personality even more of a liability.  There's so much more shit that will be poured all over her as the campaign goes on--ask Senator Boxer--that all of us will be thanking the gods for the deliciously entertaining funfetti iCarly will bring unless she gets out quickly.

The Republicans are so freaked out by Hillary Clinton that they grasped the only woman dumb enough to get all the way down into the boiling pig shit that is the 2016 Republican presidential campaign.  iCarly's not winning any elections now or ever; that's something they really shoulda asked Barbara Boxer about. 

Bugfuck Crazy Racist Shithead Of The Day, Today

This sorry fucker.  He checks all the nutjob boxes: superstitious moron; racist fuckface; hateful motherfucker.  Yep, he's got it all.  He's a dancing buffoon licking up the piss of the teabaggers, making even the most rock-ribbed reactionary ignorant retard look like Marcel Proust.  Nice job, asswhipe.

At The Very Least, The Texas Teams Are Out Of The Baseball Playoffs

Now I get that it's not much, atmo, but the Texas fuckfaces being eliminated is a small good thing.  Now we're left with either the fucking friends of Rush or some gods damned Canuck blackguards in the American league, while the Senior Circuit has to make due with the who gives a flying fucks vs. the other bunch.  Thanks, Obama.

Glorious Days Of Rage In Palestine

Rage on, brave brothers and sisters!

I believe in equal rights.

I want Palestine to have the equal right for atrocity and murder, the same as Israel.

I want Palestine to have the equal right of guns and tanks and bombers, the same as Israel.

I want Palestine to have the equal right to maim and torture without fear of ever facing justice, the same as Israel.

Given that Israelis are cowards and criminals, a Palestine enjoying equal rights with Israel would end the conflict in less than ten seconds.  Israelis aren't as brave as the Palestinian people and wouldn't dare abuse anyone who wasn't overwhelmingly helpless.

Of course, either way, I don't have to fight.  I don't have to die.  I don't have watch as my world is blown to bits.  Lucky me.

Lee Papa Skullfucks The Washington Post And Their Sloppy Blowjob For Anti-Choice Bastard David Daleiden

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Trump Slams GW Bush--Fucking Brilliant!

Trump! Trump! Trump's The Man!  Gotta give him plenty of entertainment props for kicking George W. "Retardboy" Bush (and brother Jeb!) over 911.  Then Jeb! comes back and whines that his brother "kept us safe".  Safe from what?  Safe AFTER the attacks in NY and Washington?  Oh, well, safe AFTER the attacks sound pretty fucking stupid.

Even to a teabagger.

Or Koch-sucker.

Whether he knows it or not, Trump's got America's best interests in mind when he savages the Bush family.

Virag's Movie Reviews: Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)

I was told there would be no plot!  But there was.  It was fine.

I was told this was a feminazi propaganda film where everybody hated on men and had periods on everything!  But there were men AND women in the flick!  Who knew?

I was told Max was not in the movie and just grunted in the background!  But he was there, showing the others the way to a sort of redemption, almost like a hero might.  Again.

I was told there would be a shitload of giant fucking car stunts!  Yep.  Pretty cool.

This flick was lots of fun.  And Wrinkles was in it!  Really, there had a bunch of recognizable faces in this thing considering the material.  The only question I had is where did they get all the brand new tires for those insane one-off vehicles in a post-apocalyptic wasteland?  Surly the person who kept that factory going through all the chaos was really fucking rich!  Otherwise, I guess it was nice that everybody had so much time on their hands for chasing, driving, crashing, swinging, driving, shooting, flaming guitars, chasing, driving, crashing.  Otherwise the movie would have been really boring if everybody in it had been busy doing something that was not all fun stuff; no day jobs in the wasteland, I guess.  And searching endlessly for brand new tires in every conceivable size for all those things was probably pretty time-consuming.

Good movie; the time flew by.  Woulda been funny to have Mel Gibson in that goofy outfit and mask playing Joe.

Sick, Sad Bastards Of The Day

Exceptionally evil AND exceptionally stupid is the American way!  When you ask why the government fails at every level, and why society is disintegrating while you watch, peek the certifiable nut jobs who whisper in the ear of the fools we elected and the fools who get appointed to do the work in our civil society, and imagine how many of those teabaggers and other addle-headed racist assholes are ignorant and/or stupid enough to believe the shit they hear every day from those vile reactionary fucks leading the government and driving the media.  Thanks, Obama.

Afghanistan Was Never The Good War

Obama's a fool.  Not as big a fool as Retard Boy Bush and Dick "Dick" Cheney, but a fool nonetheless.  A fool for not abandoning the failed neocon criminal conspiracy his first day in office by bringing in an international peacekeeping force, establishing a cease-fire and removing all American troops, beginning immediate negotiations for a new government, and doing whatever necessary to fix the society broken by Bush and Cheney and the US military--not just since our invasion, but going way back.  We fucked it up and need to own that reality.  But no, on and on we'll go, killing indiscriminately in Afghanistan because we are exceptionally evil and because no one on Earth can stop us.

Megyn Kelly Is Gleefully Sucking Koch On The Tee Vee

Mmmm, she really has the gusto for sucking Koch.  I bet she lathered on that special minty lip balm before she meekly dropped to her knees to get that rock-ribbed Koch rock hard.  The only thing Chuckles can tell America is whether Megyn is as good at sucking that Koch as Scott Walker is (or is it was?).  Who does it better, worshiping that fetid Koch?

I bet that M.I.T. is proud of this dumb motherfucker--although given some of the fine fine human beings associated with M.I.T. over the years, having a rancid and evil shithead like Chuckles Koch, denying basic science and sanity in order to enrich himself in the shortest possible term, on your permanent criminal record is just par for the course.

Fox "News" Is Always The Best "News"

Shocked, I say!  But why stop at this poor stupid bastard?  O'Reilly!  Stuart Varney!  Hannity!  Megyn Fucking Kelly!  KK Krauthammer!  All of 'em are lying motherfuckers, so don't stop arresting them!  Let's roll!

So, That Speaker Of The House Funfetti Is Still Raging

Great job, Republicans!  Amazingly, some assholes out there still consider the Republicans a viable political party.  Cray-Zee!

Trump's running away with the race for the Republican nomination; the fucking Repubs can't force anyone to take the Speaker post; Obama is trolling the teabaggers and other racist assholes non-stop.  2016 could very well be the end of the Republican party.  I'm sure the next one will be even worse than the fuckwads we have in the GOP today.  Freedumb!

Marzocchi Green

Not sure this is the for-realz Atom Bomb fork, and the green went through a few iterations in not too many years, but the green was cool.

Do You Remember Marzocchi?

They were something. Something good.  Silky and smooth.  Made in Italy out of Bomber Aerospace Material.  BAM.  The first mountain bike suspension fork that was really good.  And the Jr. T.  That was fucking awesome.  Nostalgia, the sepia glow.

Houston, from Texas, Playing The KC Royals Makes You Wonder Just How Awful America's Karma Is

There are no winners there, in that game, or in America.  We're wretched and cursed, and we have Houston playing the Royals.  That sound you hear is America's collective prayer for a gloriously destructive asteroid impact right there between the mound and second.  That would be the best we could hope for.

Well, Watching Fox "News" Today, The Democrats Musta Had A Pretty Fucking Great Debate Last Night

The entire Fox "News" machine has been stumbling and stuttering madly all day and bleating weakly trying to spin the Democratic debate as some sort of scary, left-wing, socialist insurrection that was also some weak and lame and boring while the voters who would watch a tee vee "debate" and then answer poll or survey questions seem pretty satisfied.  That's a fucking nightmare for Fox.  The Republicans are shitting themselves stupid and the Dems avoided an opportunity to fuck themselves on the tee vee.  Every chance for a huge blunder passed safely by the Democratic campaign is really bad news for the Republicans at this point.  Trump's still their guy.  They're fucked.  And Fox has been trashing Bernie Sanders non-stop, spitting out "Democratic Socialist" every ten seconds to put the fright into the squares and soft-headed olds, so that makes you wonder what they saw behind the scenes.  Something's up with Sanders, and that something is obviously good for Sanders and bad for the sort of dipshit cocksucker who watches that horrible, half-rate propaganda channel.  One thing is clear today: Fox "News" is in full-on retard panic mode now.

Oregon, A Fucked Up Racist Shithole

Like, yeah.  Oregon is a fucked-up place, and while parts of it are like a pretty nice heaven on Earth, plenty of it is a racist guntard hellhole.  Not cool.

I'm Not So Sure Hillary Won It All Last Night

No, I didn't watch the whole wretched exercise in boredom, but there's been way too much weakly desperate fluffy fluffing from the fluffy fluffers last night and today to give the impression that Hillary was now an unstoppable monster simply because of the debate.  I mean, yeah, she was the frontrunner all along, but there's some weird shit going on within the rock-ribbed Democratic primary electorate.  If Hillary does get the nomination--she will win the presidency if she gets it--it will be because the Fox "News" fucktards and Koch-suckers and teabaggers and Republicans shit on her so much that she looked way better in comparison to her risible enemies--and because the institutional Democratic party money is all about Hillary.  That might be enough, but the rank-and-file Dems themselves are being quite odd about the second Hillary presidential campaign.

Bernie Sanders Is What A Boring Centrist Politician Looks Like

Sanders is the center.  Unfortunately.  Worrying that Sanders might be some sort of raving leftist Marxist socialist might be a fun party game, but it's bullshit.  Maybe we need a real raver, but we have Sanders and Clinton and the rest of the assclown cadre.

Martin O'Malley Is Running For VP, But He's Not Gonna Get It

How can he?  Is he serious?  Does he think it's gonna work?  O'Malley is so obviously hoping to get some recognition as a realistic second banana, but I'm pretty sure that's not going to be anything that would get him on the ticket.  He knows he's not getting the nomination, but he knew that going in.  And he thought that a campaign against Clinton was the best way to raise his profile enough to be picked by Clinton as her running mate.  Former governor.  White guy.  Semi-serious.  A lock.  Yeah, no.

The Fucking Republicans Had Better Make Bartolo Colon Speaker Of The House ASAP

He's their only hope.  He probably don't want it, but without Colon, the Repubs are all sorts of fucked.  Colon's the guy, the only guy, whether the Republicans want him or not.

Political Song for Jason Chaffetz to Sing

So, The Dogfighting NFL Scumbag Went To Jail, And

Is hated by pretty much everyone, but the sundry selection of violent, abusive motherfuckers in the NFL are playing freely like nothing much happened?  Just checking.

One of the Chargers receivers is wearing neon pink knee socks which are fucking nuclear on this flat screen HDTV.

Max-ish Diamant Frame

Ridden, then cleaned up for pics. Nice.  Build it back up and put it back on the road, even better.  This is a takeoff on the Merckx MX Leader with the round top tube and not a full-on righteous Max frame.  Still neat.  Like the dropouts and paint and chrome and number tab.  Not digging the generic fork at all.  German or Norwegian?  German, probably.

What Kind Of A World Do We Live In Where The Mets And The Cubs Are In The Playoffs

I'm not sure we can go on pretending this is the world we know.  The Mets.  AND the Cubs.  You don't recognize this.  You don't live here.  This is not your home.  Or mine.  Where are we?  What is this?

Nite & Irene

Want A Damn Good Reason To Feel Shitty About Your Classic Fat City Or IF?

This clueless dumbfuck mighta touched it!  Yuck.  That sorta shit don't wash off, and Peter Verdone is really slimy.  Besides being completely ignorant, he seems to be a real asshole.  Melt down your classic bike.  Let it rust.  It's cursed with exceptional American idiocy. 

The Rivendell he hates on so hard is probably owned by a rider who does more miles in a month than that idiot Verdone has logged in his life, since anyone who's ridden a bike for realz knows what works and what is bullshit.  Verdone only knows the bullshit and has no idea about what really works and why.  He's probably a really enthusiastic Trump supporter or rabid fluffer of Ben Carson.  Such is that state of inane America.

Is There Anything More Useless In The Universe Than 'Meet The Press Daily'?

Chuckles Toddler is an asswhipe of gargantuan proportions.  And now the geniuses at NBC have decided to foul up their weekday broadcasts with his fetid horseshit.  That's fucking super.  Thanks, Obama.

Yes, Fuck Ben Carson

Sure, Drew Magary may be a dee-bag and muttonhead, but any and all decent people know that the only thing to say about Ben Carson is "Fuck Ben Carson".  Carson is Herman Cain-level dumb, and he's shitting all over our political process because of his fuckhead vanity.  That's not cool, so fuck him.

This Headline Is Frakking Wonderful

Hee.  Then the byline is "capper".  Nice.

Huh, What? I'm Pretty Sure That Didn't Work There, Chief

Fuck.  World Mental Health Day, eh?  Yeah, that didn't quite work out for you, did it?  Jesus.

NE At Dallas Demands An Awful Divine Hammer

Even if the gods destroyed all life on the planet in smiting that evil, it would be worth it.  The Patriots playing the Cowboys is just more proof humanity is a wretched disease in the colon of the creation.

On The Other Hand, This Is Unironically Cool

Foo Fighters genuinely love Rush, and bringing this dude up from the audience to sing is pretty fucking fun.  Brian the guy from Canada was super chill and apparently managed to get through the song without pissing himself.  Good stuff.  And clearly Dave Grohl was having a fucking blast.

I Was Never A Rush (The Band) Fan, But

It was shocking to hear this from more than a couple of years ago and realize how awful Geddy Lee sounded as he attempted to yelp and wheeze and bark his way through "The Spirit of Radio".  The guy could never sing but this is some completely unique atrocity.  Holy shit!  Call your doctor if you think you might suffer from COPD.

And here's the A.V. Club bringing what passes for unironic love of Rush and that song.  I've seen Rush in concert way too many times--when you're 12 or 13 or 14 you go to the concerts your older siblings and their friends go to--but never really got the joke.  To me, Rush is similar to Steely Dan.  Steely Dan are not jazz rock visionaries but instead are jazz pop wankers while Rush is not a band of art metal prog rock groundbreakers but instead are awkward and goofy Canuck hard rock clowns.  The dumb as post Ayn Rand Jr. lyrics are just a bonus.  (I always did kinda like this song, though, for some inexplicable dumb reason.)

Ghosts, Shells, Mekons

And There's A 650B New Uzzi For 2016

Hella meh.  Inexcusable 27.5 wheel size, no FD, VPP, goofy-looking, especially that heinous top tube.  At least I see a coil shock.  At this point, why the fuckity fuck isn't everyone just getting a Megatrail?  Are the metal Intense bikes still made in California?  Does it matter?  Probably not.  The reincarnation of the Uzzi is as spectacularly underwhelming as the return of the Delirium.

Please Republicans, Bring Back Newt Gingrich As Speaker!

Yes! Jonah Goldberg is a fucking visionary genius! Rocket Surgeon!!  Bring back Newt.  America would love that shit.  Newt the serial adulterer.  Newt the blabbering moron.  Newt the slimy grifter.  Newt the repulsive pile of rancid offal.  Yes!  Please, do this.  Make Gingrich the face of the Republican party in an election year!  Jonah Goldberg is exceptionally stupid!

The only choice worse than Gingrich would be risible loser Paul Ryan!!

When In Doubt About American Dipshit Exceptionalism, We Have This Fatuous Cockbag, Yaron Brook

He's an unironic Ayn Rand worshiper,  and that means that Yaron Brook is one of the dumbest motherfuckers on the planet. 

Teabaggers Hate Shepard Smith

I wonder why?  The teabaggers also hate it when Smith dares to apply even a tiny bit of reason or impose any sense of unwanted sanity to anything on Fox "News".  That's very fucking scary to those fucking dimwits.  Plus Shep is probably thinking impure thoughts about teabagging teabaggers galore.

This Musta Been One Of The Best Days Of Rachel Maddow's Life

Maddow was giddy on her show tonight, basking in the enervating glory of the hilarious Republican implosion.  This was a good day for Rachel Maddow and a happy day for America.

All Conservatives Are Fucking Morons: Kurt Schlicter Edition

Kurt Schlicter, enthusiastic licker of Andrew Breitbart's decaying scrotum, is truly a Nostrafuckingdamas.  Democrats.  Collapse.  Summer 2015.  Genius.  Well now it's October, Trump's still leading for the Republican nomination, and the teabaggers have just imploded the House of Representatives and the entire national Republican party!  Chaos.  And gods it is fucking beautiful.  Schlicther is truly a visionary and not at all a complete fucking reactionary imbecile. 

Common Sense Gun Control Is Bullshit

Assholes and morons and villains are the proponents of so-called common sense gun control.  Fuck them.  They're worthless.  Ban guns.  Confiscate.  Democrats are fucking useless; it's all political bullshit.  Take the guns.  Make handguns illegal.  Make most long guns including all semi-automatic rifles illegal.  Any guns left for legitimate hunting will be registered and insured.  Go full-on Australia.  Take the guns.  Keep people safer.  Reduce crime and deaths.  Let the vile motherfuckers lie and then crush them. Take their fucking guns.  Make America a more civilized country.  And then disarm the police as well.

The guntards, gun nuts, gun owners, the NRA, the unctuous mainstream media, and establishment politicians are the enemy of freedom and reason in the USA.  Destroy them.  Take the guns.  Inculcate the totality of the Second Amendment as the law of the land.  How many more dead kids till we do what's right?

Bomber Orange Is The Best Orange Now And Forever Amen

This looks like a phone pic, but it is an orange orange orange bomber orange bike, an Intense Uzzi SL from way back when they were the best of the best.  Frikkin' schweet.

Speaker Paul Ryan? Now THAT'S Fucking Genius

Sure, Ryan don't want it and ain't gonna do it, but what a fucking idea!  John's Boehner is a gods-damned leader if there ever was one.  Paul Ryan!  Mitt Romney's running mate!  When Romney/Ryan lost Ryan's home state!  Fucking BRILLIANT! 

Roseburg Oregon Is A Horrible Racist Gun Nut Shithole

It's Oregon!  But this Roseburg is a special little circle of hell.  Roseburg has its evil lunatic sheriff and is chock-full of racist assholes with guns and shitloads of other sorts of awful funfetti you find in Orygahn.  The real difference is that Roseburg has been exposed and shamed on the national tee vee because one of its exceptional guntards decided to shoot up the dump.  Oops.

Exceptionally Award-Winning Ben Carson Is Exceptional

Heh.  Heh.  Finally starting to see an entertaining backlash against Carson from the people most embarrassed by Carson.  That's good.  That's fine.  That's fun.  Carson is a fucking nimrod, and the sooner he gets run out of decent, reality-based discourse and society, the fucking better.

The Real Heroes Of October

Yo La Tengo.  History might decide the best thing about the Amazins was that YLT were fans.  Other than that, well, they're the fucking Mets.

Meanwhile In The Bronx

This couldn't have waited till Wednesday? Really?  Okay.  Judging by the 2015 season, perhaps Sabathia wasn't drinking enough.

Twits Twits Twits On A Rampage

Scary.  We have reached that magic time of year when they start going at each other like vicious teacup Yorkies.  Bitchy.  That shot at Justin Spinelli was pretty fucking funny, though.

The Wildcard One Game Is The Way To Go

Much better format.  And it's hard to care whether the Yanks make it through or not at this point.  But in general, the one-game thing is good.

Holy Shit, Herman Cain Gets More Retarded All The Time

In a month or so, he'll be drooling 24/7 and sputtering insanely non-stop.  Can't even the Fox "News" morons find a more effective Tom than Herman Cain?  They got a warehouse full of 'em.  Come on, assholes, don't make us watch Cain.

New Knolly Delirium

Years late, the Delirium returns with 650B wheels, no front derailleur, and very ugly curvy tubes.  And only two colors.  Not sure why the Knolly is even here, and I would have a hard time picking that Knolly for 2016 over the Canfield Balance.  Or the made-in-USA Guerrilla Gravity Megatrail.  You can get a pink Megatrail and even 26" wheels just in case you know better even if you can't have a front derailleur--but nobody gives you that choice.  (Well, Canfield does.)  The Knolly might be fucking super, even if the linkage looks overly complex and fragile, but I can't help but think they've missed their moment with this. 

Disgustingly Ignorant Fucknut Assholes Of The Day, Exceptionally American Division

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Rush Limbaugh Presents The Waters Of Mars

Unroll the tinfoil! It's a conspiracy!  Once again, Limbaugh is way ahead of the curve on this exceptional American truth.  You see, the Dems and commies and faggots and feminazis invented science to hurt the Republicans at the polls.  Science is a lie and only exceptional teabaggers can save America from those godless scienentitians.  Those bastard Dems probably invented Mars just to piss off Republicans, too.

If Trump Falls, The Republicans May Have To Nominate Pizza Rat

If Trump does not become president, the Republicans probably have no hope.  Jeb! is about to whip out his retarded brother, the worst and least popular president in the history of exceptional America, iCarly is not only a liar and a rancid creep, but is also a fraud, and Ben Carson is apparently a junkie based on the way he acts in public--plus Armstrong Williams, who is way in the back of that closet with many, many other Republicans.

The only glimmer of hope the Republicans would have after Trump is probably Pizza Rat.  Pizza Rat will not beat Hillary, but the rodent will be a better loser and more popular after the election than Mitt Romney.

El Popo Has People Who Try To Fix It After He Looks Like A Maxi Douche

So, Pope who's tryin' to look cool, relatively, gets fucked by a meeting with a rancid teabagging moron, and apparently he doesn't like getting fucked that way.  Lucky for El Popo he's got people to fix that shit.  Or try, at least.  Francisco also has people to take the trash, old-school.  I'd imagine El Popo would like to go literally medieval on that stupid bastard Carlo Maria Vigano's ass.  That might do a bit to repair El Popo's image with the reality-based community.

Roger Waters The Man Rocks Way Harder Than Pink Floyd Ever Did

Roger Waters, Si!  I could not really give a fuck about Pink Floyd; they sucked pretty much 100% of the time, but righteously pissed off Roger Waters is a ton of fucking fun away from music.  His brave stand on Palestine is something we should see way more of in our stupid society.  We let the fascist assholes and reactionary fuckheads get off too easy on the atrocities on in Palestine.

And Now The Twits Are All A Twitter Over Moots Maybe Going The Way Of Serotta And/Or IF

Seriously.  But why?  Moots hasn't been anything special for many many years.  I am amazed at their ability to sell very expensive titanium frames, and that's fine, just fine, but to my eye their bikes are either nothing special or heinously fucking ugly.  Moots frames lack elegance, and I think that comes from the small factory aspect of the brand.  Why buy a Moots if you want something special and be forced to pay a huge premium on top of the already very dear frame price when you can buy what I consider a legitimate Moots frame, Eriksen, or a titanium frame with much more elegance and is all custom that comes from a true custom builder, Carl Strong?  That's the question.  Skip Moots and let 'em go the way of Serotta if that's their fate, and get a much better and better looking ti frame if that's what makes you all wet and sticky atmo from Strong or Eriksen.  Your welcome.

Spooky Misunderstood Genius, Of Course

Gone, another failure for Spooky bikes.  I mean the second incarnation of Spooky did make one good aluminium road bike one time for a great price that was a freeking cool thing, but other than keeping FTW busy a couple of days a week for year or so, really what the fuck was it worth?  Not a fucking thing. Nothing.  Rock on, motherfrakking losers.

In 2015, Dallas At New Orleans On NBC With Those Two Assholes

Surely demands a streaking fucking asteroid to obliterate not only the game but the entire fucking planet.  Come on jesus and the rest of you invisible fictional morons, chop chop.

Now We're Pretty Sure Bill Cosby Will Be Trump's Vice President

Inevitability.  We don't have to like it, but we better get used to it.  Cosby brings so much to the ticket that not even a Duggar or Subway Jared can match that mofo mojo.  The only way that Cosby gets bumped is if Trump needs Hope Solo to get the ladies' vote.

David Limbaugh Is A Walking Rectal Suppository

This might be the first demonstrable miracle in human history, proof that Rush Limbaugh is not the biggest fucking moron in his family.  David Limbaugh is exactly the sort of grade-Z loser clogging up America with greasy shit and burying hope and progress 100 feet deep.

And Obama And The Dems Glorious Victories On Gun Control Are What?

Exactly?  I mean, yeah, I know that jealousy is never an attractive quality, but when ineffectual meets petty and births greasy inanity, well, that's just nasty.  Xpecially if you are, well, you know...

Obama Did The Work Of The True Gods Getting Mildly Pissed About Another Mass Shooting In Exceptional America

The guntard teabagger types are all sorts of pissed at Obama--and they are scared shitless of what might happen to their infantile violent fetish.  Watching Fox "News" and seeing all the stuttering and flop sweat and animal terror has been decently entertaining.  Even the shitbags at the NRA know they will get beaten one of these times some all-American patriot fuckhead shoots up a school or a daycare or something, and they are doing all they can to make sure it's next time and not this time.  So, let's see if the Dems have learned to keep up the pressure and crack the resolve of the bad guys once and for all.  I'm betting no.  But you never know.  Obama took a baby step.  Who's next?

Superchunk 2015 DOES Feature One Original Member

Just sayin'.

(Surf) Boarding Bites

PSA: MSNBC Dumped Schultz And Sharpton And Reid But Kept

Mrs. Alan Greenspan and Brian Williams and that fucking idiot Luke Russert.  Just sayin'.  The next time you hear someone on MSNBC and say to yourself 'that sounds reasonable', remember the fucking source.

Irate Obama Is About Seven Years Late

Welcome to the party, pal.  Obama has been cool as fuck for his presidency, mostly because he didn't want his administration to be the constant target of every chickenshit racist guntard, rock-ribbed senile Bill O'Reilly viewer, out and proud dittohead, and unhinged Glenn Beck fellator trying to off the uppity nigger president.  That is not totally unreasonable, and given the amount of racist insanity Obama's white house tenure has loosed from every tawdry shithole in the land, probably a pretty good call.  Apparently now's the time for a little life from Obama, getting pissed about our exceptional guntard overlords.  More than a few folks would have appreciated some of this rationality a bit sooner.

Atrios Signal Boosts The Best Of Christopher Hitchens

Brutalizing a legit human monster, Henry Kissinger.  Hitchens was not even 1/2 as clever as he thought he was, and the second half of his public life was a sad joke beyond anything resembling an embarrassment, but Hitchens was doing the gods' work when he savaged the vile war criminal and first class motherfucking piece of shit Henry Kissinger.  Hitchens fucking with loathsome Mother Teresa was pretty fun, too.

Yes, Finally, America IS Exceptional

We have exceptional mass shootings!  The one thing American can do!  Be ruled by the dumbest motherfuckers on the planet, the NRA lunatics and the rest of the guntard cocksuckers, and murder ourselves in exceptional ways no other nation can manage.  Or would allow.

The USA is not the smartest or the strongest or the richest or the best lookin' or the freest or the safest or the bravest or the toughest or the best at anything except vulgar stupidity and atrocious violence.  American exceptionalism IS real.  Yay!